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94: Sean Grover: When Kids Call The Shots
“You can’t take the struggle out of parenting – it’s built in. The real question is, how much are we willing to challenge ourselves?”
This quote from When Kids Call the Shots: How to Seize Control from Your Darling Bully - and Enjoy Being a Parent Again by Sean Glover, is just one of many wise things about parenting you will hear in this interview.
Sean is a psychotherapist, speaker, and author with 25 years’ experience working with adults and children in New York City. His approach to parenting is the same as The Biggest Job’s: “When parents model the behaviors they want to see in their kids, they lead the way to better communication and a better relationship.”
You can find Sean at www.seangrover.com.
|Mar 18, 2019|
93: Chris Guidera: Parents Need to Listen
“Listen, listen, listen.” – Chris Guidera, Hyde Alumni Parent
Chris Guidera, husband of Ali di Groot who was on the show last week, had similar words as his wife about his parenting: “I thought I had all the answers,” he admits; “and I learned that I needed to listen more. The family I grew up in - somebody was always talking; nobody listened.”
Chris thought he was doing it differently than how he was raised, but learned he wasn’t. He made changes in his parenting through The Biggest Job Parenting Program and ultimately changed the level of trust between his daughter and himself.
|Mar 11, 2019|
92: Ali de Groot: Parenting from Anger Doesn’t Work
“Before we went to Hyde, I was parenting from a very angry place.” Ali de Groot, Hyde Alumni Parent
Ali embraced the parenting program, once she realized what was being asked of her, and says that her parenting changed drastically. “We didn’t have to keep saying things like, do your homework, do your homework.
The parent training taught me to just, one by one, let go of my attachments to all the outcomes and to focus on myself. I was able to treat my daughter much more calmly; I wasn’t angry anymore.”
In this podcast, Ali shares how The Biggest Job Parent program changed her, her parenting, and all her relationships.
|Mar 04, 2019|
91: Eric Karlan: What Do I Need to Know About You?
“What Do I Need to Know About You?” is Eric Karlan’s favorite question to students.
Eric Karlan is co-owner of an organization called Ivy Experience, which helps students prepare for ACT and SAT testing, write college essays and complete college applications.
Don’t let the name of his company fool you into thinking that he only helps students interested in Ivy League Schools; he helps students and families interested in ANY school. He wants to know how a student is engaged in the world, and helps them find their unique story – what sets them apart – what their values and quirks are, and the obstacles they’ve overcome.
He asks the question, “What do I need to know about you?” because he believes that sharing one’s authenticity and passion is the most important part of helping students get to the right topic for their college essay. “What is an admissions officer?” Eric asks; “He or she is a person; and people accept other people.”
|Feb 25, 2019|
90: Bruce Berger: Parent from Your Principles
"As my children know from early on what I told them repeatedly… the two most important possessions a person has is their word and their integrity."
Dr. Bruce E. Berger, MD, Associate Professor of Medicine, Emeritus
A tumultuous divorce and custody battle led Bruce to seek a school that would give his son structure, stability and an academic education that was character-based.
Having been awarded custody of his two children when they were young, he parented from a rule-based approach; what he learned through The Biggest Job Family Program was that he was parenting from his own anxiety about his situation, not from his principles.
Bruce’s circumstance might be different, but his parenting challenges can be seen in many of our own stories.
|Feb 18, 2019|
89: Kyle Winey: Hackiversity: The Secrets to Achieving More by Doing Less in College
Can students achieve more by doing less in college?
“YES!” says Kyle Winey, college productivity expert, in his book, Hackiversity: The Secrets to Achieving More by Doing Less in College.
When I read the title of this book, my first thought was, “Is this guy going to tell kids and parents that you really don’t have to study in college?” What I found out was the opposite. Kyle’s recommendations are:
“Hacking college isn’t meant to show you all of the ingredients involved with college success,” says Kyle. “It’s to help identify the few elements that rocket you toward success faster and with less effort.”
Our podcast conversation with Kyle gives you glimpses into Kyle’s premise and philosophy, which I think you’ll find fascinating.
You can learn more about Kyle and HACKiversity at www.hackiversity.com. In addition to HACKiversity the book, Kyle's HACKiversity Project features a college selection tool designed to generate a list of colleges that are right for you, based on your location, grades, and budget.
|Feb 11, 2019|
88: Dennis and Claire Cavalli: Consistency and Patience in Parenting
“I learned that I had to be consistently patient and patiently consistent in my parenting.”
Dennis Cavalli, Hyde Alumni Parent
Dennis and Claire Cavalli went through The Biggest Job Parent program almost ten years ago at Hyde School, but they are still using what they learned.
“I was just going through the motions of living my life,” says Claire; “I was doing what I thought I should do, or what the books said.”
In this is podcast, you’ll find out how the parent program helped them change as individuals and as a couple; how this change helped their son; and how people in their community are now coming to them, seeking help.
|Feb 04, 2019|
87: Parenting Wisdom from Hyde Alumni Parents: Doug & Laura Main
In the first of our series on parenting wisdom from Hyde Alumni Parents, Laura Main says:
“I was willing to do whatever I was asked to help my son, including if it was hanging upside down from the rooftop by rope from my ankles.”
I think most parents feel this way. The family is doing great, is, in fact, a great family, and suddenly things aren’t going so well; perhaps there are struggles between the parents, a separation or divorce; a teen feels they need more independence; a parent feels the child needs more accountability. Whatever the reason, the student, and perhaps the whole family, is not thriving.
Laura and Doug share what their parenting was like before sending their son to Hyde, how their parenting changed, and what it’s like now. They admit they learned a great deal about themselves, both as individuals and as parents in The Biggest Job Family Program.
|Jan 28, 2019|
86: Bonnie J. Rough: Beyond Birds and Bees, Lessons from the Dutch
“What’s missing in many American lives is an everyday place for conversation about sexuality. We have “do” and “don’t”, but almost no “hmmm – let’s think about that…” ~ Bonnie Rough
Having the chance to live for a period of time in Holland, Bonnie Rough and her young family experienced firsthand the way the Dutch have learned to teach their children about sex, sexuality and gender equality. Her latest book, Beyond Birds and Bees: Bringing Home a New Message to Our Kids about Sex, Love, and Equality, and our conversation in this podcast, are filled with humor, humility, and heart. She is forth coming about her own doubts and how she struggled to overcome them and give her children the foundations in sexual education to never feel shame about their bodies and their sexuality.
Bonnie can be found at www.bonniejrough.com and on social media.
|Jan 21, 2019|
85: Teen Coaching: Life Success for Teens
That’s what we all want for our teens, isn’t it? Well, have you ever thought about having a coach for your teen? To help them deal with anxiety, fear of loss, and fear of rejection? Sure, all parents would like to be the person their teen turns to for help with these things, but what if you’re not? What if your teen doesn’t want you to be the one to help them deal with their test anxiety, presentation skills and how to talk to their teachers?
It might be a hard pill to swallow, but remember what we say in The Biggest Job Workshops: “Humility is one of the most important qualities in parenting.”
This podcast with Natalie Borrell, a school psychologist, and Alison Grant, a teacher with a license in counseling, of Life Success for Teens, (www.lifesuccessforteens.com) gives us insight into teenage anxiety and some great tips for dealing with it. They can also be found on Facebook at Parents Raising Successful Teens – a free community group.
|Jan 14, 2019|
84: Richard Preece: The 10 Priorities of Parenting Excellence in the Business World
Richard Preece works for a global investment management company. After graduating from The Biggest Job Parenting program at Hyde School, he took the Ten Priorities into his work place, teaching and modeling them in this country and abroad.
“There’s not really any difference between what challenges people at home and what challenges them at work; so the 10 Priorities work wherever you are and whatever you’re doing,” he says.
Richard has written a book called Live Big: Creating the Life You Never Dared to Dream which is available on Amazon. If interested in finding out how to implement The 10 Priorities at your work place, contact Richard at firstname.lastname@example.org.
The 10 Priorities
|Jan 07, 2019|
83: Lisa Wade: American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus
If the title of this book, American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus, by Lisa Wade, PhD., startles you, the information and descriptions in the book may shock you. But tune in to this podcast so you can find out the truth about how pervasive hook-up culture on college campuses is today, its pervasiveness and effects on students.
In an up-front conversation, Lisa Wade, associate professor of Sociology at Occidental College, gives us insight into the history of the hook-up culture on college campuses, the reasons students choose to hook-up, or choose to avoid it, and what colleges could do to change this culture.
“Seeing what’s happening on campus as a culture – recognizing that it’s not the hookup itself, but hookup culture that is the problem – is the first step to changing it,” she writes.
|Dec 31, 2018|
82: Claire Grant: Are you a perfectionist? Is it influencing your child to be perfect also?
Are you a perfectionist? Is it influencing your child to be perfect also?
“Focus instead on who are you as a person, what do you stand for, what do you believe in, what are your deeper principles, and how are you going to live a life that adheres to that? And if you do, you’re going to achieve what you’re meant to achieve, and it’s not a societal standard and it’s not better than other people, it’s your personal best.” ~ Claire Grant
Claire, who is Executive Director of The Biggest Job Family Program at Hyde School, talks candidly about perfectionism in her own life as a teenager; how it happened, and her struggle to be satisfied with her own effort. She gives tips to parents who might be expecting perfection, and who are parenting out of guilt because they feel they should be more or because they’ve let their kid down in some way.
|Dec 24, 2018|
81: Lenore Skenazy: Why is Adolescent Anxiety Spiking? Do parents just need to get tougher?
Lenore Skenazy, President & Co-Founder of Let Grow
In a world where parents are getting a lot of blame, here’s a different answer for why kids are so anxious about everything. Enter Lenore Skenazy, founder of LET GROW (www.letgrow.org) and author of Free Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry).
“NO!” she says, “It’s not the parents; it’s this culture that has written everything that kids do, see, eat, hear, read, lick – whatever - encounter as something that will be difficult and possibly dangerous…”
This is an informative and high-energy conversation with the woman who started the free range kids movement, now a law in the state of Utah and a pending bill in other states. (https://www.npr.org/2018/04/01/598630200/utah-passes-free-range-parenting-law)
Lenore and her team have also started Let Grow, an organization that includes the Let Grow Project for parents and the Let Grow Play Club for schools. Let Grow is trying to help parents, schools and communities get back to raising resilient, independent kids. You can download free materials for projects to do at home and at school from the website www.letgrow.org
Contact Lenore at www.letgrow.org to arrange a speaking engagement or to get more information.
|Dec 17, 2018|
80: Katherine Ketcham: Addiction: Heartbreak, Healing, & Profound Transformation
“Addiction takes over everything… it’s this brain disease that affects individuals and changes their whole view of life and their whole view of relationships.”
~ Katherine Ketcham
The Only Life I Could Save is Katherine Ketcham’s seventeenth book; she has co-authored sixteen others, ten of which are on the subject of addiction and recovery.
For years she worked with kids in a Juvenile Detention Center, but when addiction lands in her own family, nothing she learned from the kids in “juvie” seemed to help.
From the flyleaf: “This book is a raw and moving memoir of heartbreak, healing and profound transformation; … of what Katherine deems the most important lessons of faith, hope, acceptance, and forgiveness.”
This podcast introduces you to a very brave woman, a brave family, and a son who continues to lead and inspire them all.
|Dec 10, 2018|
79: Ryan Craig: The New U: Faster + Cheaper Alternatives to College
What if your teen doesn’t want to go to college?
“Only 11 percent of employers believe new college graduates have the skills their businesses need. Seventy-one percent of employers said they would consider hiring a person without a degree over a person with a degree.” ~ Ryan Craig.
Ryan Craig is an investor and author of A New U: Faster + Cheaper Alternatives to College (BenBella Books). In this book, he explains why he feels colleges are not educating kids for today’s jobs; what’s wrong with career services departments at universities; and what the alternatives to college are - alternatives that are faster, cheaper and put kids on a track to avoid layers of debt from a college diploma.
“Faster + cheaper alternatives aren’t pathways to vocational or blue collar jobs, but rather to digital new collar careers,” he writes.
The book is enlightening and fascinating; and this interview will peak your interest and raise your level of awareness about alternatives to college that don’t incur debt and the possibility of no job after four years of study.
The best place to find Ryan is on twitter: @ryancraiguv
|Dec 03, 2018|
78: Inner Leadership: The Inside Scoop from 3 Alumni
Do your kids say things like this…?
Hear the inside scoop from three students about what they learned in the Inner Leadership Program at Hyde School…
There’s much more on this podcast from these three students on what they learned in the various pieces of the program, from confidence in public speaking and independence and trust in themselves, to finding the balance between having fun and still being a good role model.
These students, each now in college, are honest, and self-reflective. I found them quite amazing in the way they could articulate their answers.
|Nov 26, 2018|
77: Laura Gauld: Inner Leadership: What does it mean? How does it happen?
Our podcast today will explain the answers to the above questions, as we talk with Laura Gauld, Head of School and President of the Hyde School Organization.
Hyde School’s Inner Leadership Program, where the journey of your unique potential begins, is the promise to all students who graduate from the school. There are five deliverables within this promise:
Listen to this podcast and hear how these deliverables are accomplished at Hyde School.
|Nov 19, 2018|
76: Lisa Walker: A Step Parent is just as Important as a “Real” Parent
“When it comes to being a step parent, there isn’t one right way, because every family dynamic is different. You’re marrying the package: you’re marrying ex-spouses; you’re marrying the kids…; the right way is your way for you.”
~ Lisa Walker
The above quote is just a small piece of the wonderful wisdom you’ll hear on step-parenting in this podcast with Lisa Walker. When she married, he had a son in the ninth grade; the boy’s mother was very much in the picture, and as biological parents they had a fear of holding their son accountable.
As a step parent, Lisa learned that standing up for her own values was the thing that would most help her step son. An adult now, he’s told her this mattered; that he is the man he is today, in part, because of her love and respect for him.
|Nov 12, 2018|
75: Deborah Roffman: Becoming Your Kids’ ‘Go-To’ Person about Sex, Part 2
"Clear limits and boundaries aren’t just nice or good for children and teens; they’re bedrock.”
~ Deborah Roffman: Talk To Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids’ “Go-To” Person about Sex.
In part two of our series with Debbie Roffman, she teaches us the importance of the five-piece suit of parenting, mentioned briefly in part one. Those five parts are:
She emphasizes the importance of letting our kids know, clearly, what our values are, in all aspects of life including sexuality; of “being the parent;” and to communicate the humanity of being sexual with another human being.
Debbie is referred to by her colleagues as the most articulate professional voice in the US on the need for broad-based human sexuality education. She works with parents, schools and students all across the country.
You can find her at www.talk2mefirst.com.
|Nov 05, 2018|
74: Deborah Roffman: Becoming Your Kids’ ‘Go-To’ Person about Sex Part 1
Are you looking for a “way in” to have the sex talk with your teen?
Deborah Roffman has the answers for us in her book, Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids’ “Go-To” Person about Sex.
In the preface of her book she writes: “What I hope you’ll discover most of all, if you haven’t already, is the joyfulness to be found in educating and guiding your children around this most central and amazing part of our humanity.”
In the first of a two-part series Debbie explains why it’s so important for our kids to hear information about sexuality from a trusted adult first, and where they go when the information isn’t from that person.
Debbie publishes widely throughout national media, and does workshops and trainings for teachers, parents, counselors and students at schools and organizations across the country. In 2016 she was named as one of Time Magazine’s 16 Top Parenting Experts for the 21st Century.
You can find her at www.talk2mefirst.com.
|Oct 29, 2018|
73: Geri Goldstein: Integrity as a Catalyst for Change
“Integrity is a way you live your life, a way you make decisions every day, and how you treat others… it’s the little things you do that get seen as the bigger things.” ~ Geri Goldstein
Geri’s comment, above, comes from experience. There was an “elephant” in the living room in her family; after years of enabling others in the family, Geri found within herself what it took to speak the truth about it.
This story has an uplifting and positive ending, thanks to Geri’s integrity and courage, and the entire family’s ability to ask others for help.
Don’t miss this one!
|Oct 22, 2018|
72: Amy Lang: Gender, Sexual Attraction, and your Teen
“Do your kids know more about gender and sexual attraction than you do?”
Amy Lang, of Birds and Bees and Kids (www.birdsandbeesandkids.com), and the author of Birds and Bees and YOUR Kids, and Dating Smarts: What EVERY teen needs to know to date, relate or wait!, joins us for a second podcast – this time about gender, sexual attraction, what it means to be gender fluid, what is cisgender? Pansexual? And more…
“Trust your child to know their gender, even if it doesn’t conform to the gender they were assigned at birth and may not make sense to you. Gender is not about what genitals a person has, but who they know themselves to be in their heart.”
Amy is starting her own podcast which will be a Q & A podcast; phone her at 206-926-1522 and leave your questions.
She gives terrific advice to parents on this subject; you’ll want to hear what she has to say in this podcast.
|Oct 16, 2018|
71: Kristi Hugstad: R U Ok?: Teen Depression & Suicide
R U Ok?: Teen Depression & Suicide is the title of a book by author Kristi Hugstad, Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and credentialed health educator.
After her husband completed suicide, Kristi bought every book on grief she found and says her living room looked like a recovery library; because of her experience and her new understanding of what she wished she had known, (the title of a previous book she wrote is What I Wish I’d Known), Kristi wrote R U Ok?, a book for parents, educators and teens.*
This interview with Kristi is up-lifting, enlightening and down to earth at the same time. Her presentation of the causes for the depression which can then lead to suicide are straightforward and thought provoking.
If you have not had “the talk” - and Kristi doesn’t mean the sex talk, she means the talk about suicide - with your teen, it’s just as important as the other talks from parents, like “don’t text and drive!”
*Through a grant, R U Ok? is available for schools and organizations, free of charge. Contact Kristi at www.thegriefgirl.com to ask for your copies.
|Oct 08, 2018|
70: Kirrilie Smout: Self-Harm in Teens: What Parents Can Do
What can parents do to reduce the chance of teens hurting themselves?
This is the title of an article (and today’s podcast) with Kirrilie Smout, clinical psychologist and founder of Developing Minds: Helping kids & teens learn life skills & manage tough times, located near Adelaide, Australia.
In a nutshell, Kirrilie says:
In the article, there is a link for some of these strategies:
Beyond Blue is in Australia, but the coping strategies are universal. She asked that I give several links in the United States:
Kirrilie has also written two books that are available through her website: www.developingminds.net.au
|Oct 01, 2018|
69: Dana Suchow: Eating Disorders – What Parents Can Do
Are you worried about an eating disorder in your child?
Then you’ll definitely want to listen to this podcast with Dana Suchow, national speaker and activist on eating disorders. Dana has personally overcome bulimia, binge eating, and exercise compulsion and has a firsthand understanding of how eating disorders can get started and what parents can do.
Dana has been seen on Good Morning America and ABC News; she’s been interviewed by Vogue, Marie Claire, and numerous other publications. Our interview includes her views on the contributions social media and the diet culture are making to the issue of eating disorders, how parents unwittingly contribute to the problem; and the fact that eating disorders are so often combined with other things.
If you have questions because your child has or you think they may have an eating disorder, Dana suggests contacting The National Eating Disorders Association at www.nationaleatingdisorders.org.
|Sep 24, 2018|
68: Parenting Through Puberty: Mood Swings, Acne, and Growing Pains
“Parenting through puberty is demanding; [but] remember that your teen needs and loves you, even in the moment that he or she appears to have forgotten this fact!”
This is just one of the many great reminders about parenting adolescents in a wonderful new book by pediatrician, Dr. Suanne Kowal-Connelly called Parenting Through Puberty: Mood Swings, Acne, and Growing Pains, published by the American Academy of Pediatrics. It’s advertised as an ultimate guide to puberty, and indeed it is.
Dr. Suanne, as her patients call her, covers the nuts and bolts of what happens to children’s bodies as they go through the 5 stages of puberty (both boys and girls); issues of self-esteem and body image; concerns that parents have about the timing of puberty; the developing brain of a teenager; the relationship with a pediatrician; guidance for parents of adolescents with special needs; the subject of physical literacy; and lots on health and wellness.
There are also resources on all the subjects she writes about, including eating disorders, depression and anxiety.
The book is a great read and a wonderful reference book for all things adolescent. You can find Dr. Suanne through her website and blog (www.healthpoweredbyyou.com), or on twitter at https://twitter.com/suannekowal.
Dr. Suanne Kowal-Connelly
|Sep 17, 2018|
67: Shannon Evans, The Scholar Coach: Finding the Right College
“What do parents of high school and college kids fear most?”
This is a question I ask Shannon Evans, the scholar coach. A former teacher, Shannon turned to helping families find the right college because as a teacher, she found that kids were not often coming up with the right fit for themselves when it came to going to college.
She uses a family questionnaire, which she describes in this interview, in which parents have to answer questions about their kids: their preferences, their values, their likes and dislikes. She says, “There are often big surprises when the family reconvenes and shares their answers with each other.”
You can find Shannon at https://thescholarcoach.com/.com, and she welcomes free, 20 minute consultations to answer you initial questions.
|Sep 10, 2018|
66: Ed and Linda Murphy: “We were drowning…”
As a parent, have you ever felt like you were drowning? It can be a lonely feeling when your child or your family is going off-track. Where do you turn? What do you do?
Ed and Linda Murphy found help at the Hyde School in Bath, Maine. And through The Biggest Job Family Program they learned how to parent from their principles, letting go of parenting from fear, guilt or control.
This is a short podcast but a powerful conversation with long time Hyde alumni parents who are very grateful for the life boat that came along and rescued their drowning family.
|Sep 03, 2018|
65: Caroline Knorr - How to raise a happy kid in the digital age
Are you worried about the effect of social media on your kids? If so, this podcast may put your mind at ease, at least about some aspects of all that kids are exposed to in the media and on devices.
Caroline Knorr, senior parenting editor for Common Sense Media,* shares with us her wisdom about what parents should watch for and the questions they need to ask their kids about what’s going on with them when they’re on their devices.
“In general, social media is a positive with our kids,” Caroline says. “We need to encourage what’s good, and minimize any risks or anything that could exacerbate what’s already there [as a problem] for a child.”
You can find Caroline at email@example.com. She enjoys hearing from parents.
*Common Sense Media is an organization that provides reviews on all products to which kids are exposed, including movies, apps, games, and even you-tube channels. Their website is www.commonsensemedia.org Watch for their latest research report in September, 2018.
|Aug 27, 2018|
64: Sheri & Alan Brooks – The Elephant in the Room
Do you consider yourself an honest family, but you don’t talk about the elephant in the room?
Many families are like this; they avoid talking about the really tough stuff; and then kids quickly learn what it’s okay to talk about and what is off limits.
Sheri and Alan Brooks sent three kids to The Hyde School, and went through The Biggest Job Family Program three times. “The third time we did a parent retreat,” they said, “we finally got to the deep issues between us, got honest about them, and began to inspire our children in a totally new way. We were an honest family, but we never talked about the elephant in the room,” said Alan.
In this podcast, Sheri and Alan talk about how The Biggest Job Family program helped them come to an adult-to-adult relationship with each of their now grown children. You’ll enjoy their humor and candor about how they stopped being helicopter parents and inspired their children with their willingness to parent differently.
|Aug 21, 2018|
63: Amy Lang: Birds + Bees + Your Kids
“Providing information about sex is not the same as giving permission.” ~ Amy Lang
Amy Lang has written two great books on how to talk to your kids about sex. The first one, titled Birds + Bees + Your Kids is also the name of her company: BirdsAndBeesAndKids.com. She teaches parents the importance of clarifying their own values and beliefs about sexuality, love, and relationships, thus forming the solid foundation needed to have the sex talks.
Her second book, Dating Smarts: What EVERY teen needs to know to date, relate or wait is for parents to read and then to give to their teens to read. Nothing is left out in these books. “A well educated child [about sex] is a safer child,” Amy explains.
She does workshops for parents on how to teach kids about sex; and she welcomes questions. You can find her blog and website at https://birdsandbeesandkids.com/ and email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
|Aug 13, 2018|
62: Laura Gauld: Embrace curiosity, Mantras 96-100
"The greatest impact on children are the unlived lives of adults.” Carl Jung
In our last five parenting mantras, Laura Gauld, co-author of the book, The Biggest Job We’ll Ever Have, mentions this quote. “We need the help of others to get to our own greatness as parents.”
The mantras in this podcast are about living the kind of life as a parent that will inspire our children; that will model character for them; and that will show our kids our spirit.
The final five mantras are:
|Aug 06, 2018|
61: Kristin Harman, Exceptional Parenting: Seeing Teens in a Multidimensional Way
Do you see your teen in a way that is only one dimensional? Does your teen see you the same way?
This is a question that Kristin Harman, Director of Admissions at the Hyde School, encourages parents to look at as they decide if they want to start parenting in the exceptional way that The Biggest Job Family Program teaches parents to do.
After working at seven different schools in her career, Kristin came to the Hyde School. She finds that the interview process helps kids and parents listen differently to each other and this begins to establish a deeper trust in each other.
In this podcast, Kristin also talks about how she views the influence of social media; the increase of anxiety in teens; and answers the question, “Is depression sometimes a mask for anxiety?”
|Jul 30, 2018|
60: Do the unexpected (and keep your child off guard!) Mantras 91-95
This is a great way to help ourselves, as parents, keep our kids from manipulating us says author, Laura Gauld.
The mantras in today’s podcast are:
|Jul 23, 2018|
59: Vickie Hoefle, Parenting as Partners: How to Launch Your Kids Without Ejecting Your Spouse
As you well know, it doesn’t usually happen this way. “Kids highlight the real challenge in the family: the one between the parenting partners,” writes Vicki in this wonderful hands-on book.
A true proponent of fostering independence in kids, Vicki teaches us that looking at how we were parented and melding that with the experience of our partner is truly a challenge. She believes that “having a strong marriage and having solid parenting strategies is not enough to successfully negotiate the tricky terrain of co-parenting with someone who has an entirely different idea on how to raise the kids.”
So how do we meld ideas on parenting in order to co-parent? This book (and this podcast) will help get you started.
You can find Vicki at www.vickihoefle.com
You can also listen to our first interview with Vicki, about her book Duct Tape Parenting.
|Jul 16, 2018|
58: The word “accept” is an important part of parenting… Mantras 86-90
We learn in today’s podcast with speaker and author, Laura Gauld, that the word “accept” is an important part of parenting. Laura talks about accepting what our own parents gave us, taking a look at how we listen, and actually reaching out and seeking honesty about how others see us.
Today’s mantras are:
|Jul 09, 2018|
57: Mommy Burnout with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler
Are you trying to be “the perfect mom?” Think you’re “not very good at being a mother…?” This podcast and book are for you!
Although the title of this book, by Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, might sound like a book for mothers of younger children, be assured that it’s not. Moms of teenagers experience burnout too, and can benefit from not only listening to this podcast but also reading the book.
Burnout has its symptoms and it has its remedies, and Dr. Ziegler is an expert in both. In our podcast, Dr. Ziegler talks about how burnout can affect so many parts of a woman’s life: friendships, partnerships, work, and of course, our kids.
|Jul 02, 2018|
56: Your growth will be your true legacy to your child, Mantras 81-85
“We will be parents until we breathe our last breath.” - Laura Gauld
This parenting fundamental and the mantras that explain it teach us the importance of continuing to grow and change as parents. We are never too old to look at our own attitudes and change the ones that might be holding us back; or to take risks in our lives.
The five mantras in this podcast are:
|Jun 25, 2018|
55: Laura Gauld: Our conscience is the compass of our destiny, Mantras 76-80
“Our conscience is the compass of our destiny.” - Laura Gauld
So how do we teach conscience to our kids? Advice on that, and the last five mantras of Parenting Fundamental # 4 are discussed in today’s podcast with Laura.
Discover more advice from the parenting village at www.biggestjob.com.
|Jun 18, 2018|
54: Rebecca Mannis Part 2, Can you teach grit?
Grit is a word that we hear a lot these days; we talk about it in the Biggest Job Workshops, and in part 2 of our conversation with Rebecca Mannis, a learning specialist who founded Ivy-Prep, we learn that grit is something that can be intentionally taught to kids.
“There are ways in which we can step back and understand what our responses are and appreciate our experience”, Dr. Mannis says. “Encourage your kids to appreciate why it is they may be feeling a certain way; encourage them to try something even if it brings up discomfort.”
Dr. Mannis also shares in this podcast her views about how technology has increased anxiety in kids.
Her website: www.ivy-prep.com
|Jun 11, 2018|
53: Rebecca Mannis: Educate a child according to his nature
Dr. Rebecca Mannis, a learning specialist and founder of Ivy Prep, says that each child has a natural way of learning, whether they are intellectually gifted or specifically challenged with a learning issue. Her Ivy Prep Learning Center bridges the fields of neuropsychology and education in a targeted and customized way to help students of all ages in NYC and worldwide. The Ivy Prep approach uses methods, tools and tech that enhance learning via a cohesive education action plan that tends to the total individual.
In this interview, Dr. Mannis talks about how students come to understand how they learn best and how to work effectively on their own at home and at school. This is called “metacognitive awareness – awareness of one’s own thought process.”
But don’t let the big words keep you from listening; Dr. Mannis explains her field and puts everything into terms any parent can understand. There are specific ways parents and teachers can help kids become their own best guides. And it’s all closely related to unique potential!
Her website: www.ivy-prep.com
|Jun 04, 2018|
52: Laura Gauld: Parenting is Messy, Mantras 71 – 75
“Parenting is messy,” says Laura Gauld. When I think about this, it’s really true! Parenting is messy. Just accepting this might make the job a little easier, don’t you think? We might not get so caught up in how we look as a parent or how we’re doing at the job. It’s also important to remember that humor and humility are two very important traits in parenting.
In this podcast, Laura shares with us the following mantras from Fundamental #4 (Have faith in your child’s unique potential and the larger forces at work):
|May 21, 2018|
51: Why do students beg for colleges to accept them, instead of the other way around?
This is an intriguing question that Neha Gupta, founder of Elite Private Tutors and College Shortcuts answers on her blog at www.eliteprivatetutors.com/2016/10/students-beg-colleges-accept-instead-way-around .
Neha’s enthusiasm for what she does shines through in what she shares with us about how to motivate students, how to give them confidence, and her warning about how the common app might make every applicant common. “What is that thing that makes you, you?” she asks students?
She is also a speaker and author of the book, The 4-Year Plan, which you can find on her website and costs only the shipping charges.
|May 14, 2018|
50: Laura Gauld: You are in this game for the long haul! Mantras 66-70
“You are in this game for the long haul!”
I know you’ve heard this said before, or in different ways, but hang on to this mantra, as it’s so important. Hang on, too, to the vision you have for your child. Sometimes they may say they don’t have a vision for themselves, or they don’t care, but they do; “every child wants to be somebody.”
Today’s mantras are important (aren’t they all?) – but they can escape our memories and our practice of parenting when we get caught up in so much “every day stuff.” So listen carefully, listen twice, even, and share this and all our podcasts with your friends. (We can add your friends to our list so they receive the notices directly.)
Included in today’s podcast are the following mantras:
|May 07, 2018|
49: Laura Gauld: Resist Labels of Any Kind, Mantras 61-65
Parenting Fundamental 4: Have faith in your child’s unique potential and the larger forces at work.
This 13th podcast with Laura Gauld is a special one. (Not that they aren’t all great!)
This fourth fundamental is a wonderful tool to help us as parents let go when things go off track – getting out of the way so our kids can experience some short-term struggles for long-term gain - learning something about themselves, acquiring some grit and some courage. Laura also talks about labels we put on our kids and the importance of creating a partnership based on trust with your child’s teachers and coaches.
Today’s mantras are:
|Apr 30, 2018|
48: Amber Jin: Get Into Ivy
Did you know that a college application only gets minutes in front of admissions officers? How do you construct an application that stands out in this sea of competition?
With four million seniors each year competing for coveted spots at colleges, an application needs to effectively communicate a student’s achievements and potential to give them the best chance at admission - whether your student is applying to an Ivy League or a different dream school.
Today we are speaking with Amber Jin, the founder of Get Into Ivy, about the college application process - from the number one mistake students make, to must-have elements that will help them make an impression on admissions officers.
Parents, you’ll want your student to listen in, and you will want to tune in until the end to find out where you can be most impactful in the process.
Visit www.getintoivy.com for a very informative article for parents called The Parents’ Guide to College Application; and additional tools and resources to guide you and your student through the college application process.
|Apr 23, 2018|
47: Laura Gauld: Remember the Power of a “Look”, Mantras 56 – 60
Do you remember the power of a “look” from your parents when you were growing up? That’s the first mantra discussed on this podcast with Laura Gauld, as we wrap up parenting fundamental #3 on building family traditions. How did we know what our parents meant when they gave us the “look”, and how can we get back to that in parenting today?
Full of great tips, this conversation covers Mantras 56-60:
|Apr 16, 2018|
46: Laura Gauld: Focus on family spirit and not family image, Mantras 51-55
"Focus on family spirit and not family image."
What an important and thought-provoking mantra, especially in a world where image seems to be everything.
But how do we do this? “It’s not easy,” says Laura Gauld; “and it’s usually a struggle or challenge in the family that gets us to the point of understanding that each family does have a family spirit, and that family spirit is more important than our family image.”
The mantras in this podcast are:
|Apr 09, 2018|
45: Laura Gauld: Light Candles at the Dinner Table, Mantras 46-50
“If you want to go fast in your life, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.” African Proverb
“Life is not just about taking care of ourselves.” Laura Gauld
Both of the above quotes are covered in this podcast, as well as many other meaningful tips from mantras 46 – 50 under Parenting Fundamental # 3: Build Family Traditions:
|Apr 02, 2018|
44: Bobbie DePorter: The 7 Biggest Teen Problems & How to Turn Them Into Strengths
“When parents change the way they interact with their sons and daughters, they pave the way for transformation.”
While Super Camp is for kids, The Seven Biggest Teen Problems and How to Turn Them into Strengths is a book written for parents to help them see what changes they need to make to effect changes in their children.
“We’re different from most other programs because we’re purposefully evolving,” says Bobbi in her book. She and her team of facilitators have identified the most common difficulties they see teens facing and boiled them down to seven main issues:
You can find Bobbi at www.supercamp.com
|Mar 26, 2018|
43: Laura Gauld: Build Family Traditions, Mantras 41-45
"The big picture of raising children is done with the actions, routines and practices that make up lifetime memories, habits and character," says Laura Gauld, author and head of Hyde School. "It is never too late to start a family tradition and often the value of these actions is seen looking back at one’s upbringing."
In this podcast, she covers the first 5 mantras for Parenting Fundamental #3 - Build Family Traditions (#41-45):
|Mar 19, 2018|
Podcast 42: Laura Gauld: "Don't Lie, Don't Quit," Mantras 36-40
One of the mantras Laura Gauld discusses with us in today’s podcast is “don’t lie, don’t quit.” This is a great lesson for kids and adults and a very simple thing to remember. If I’m off track in my life, I won’t lie about it and I won’t give up. I can imagine our kids remembering this mantra when they are adults if they hear it often enough from us, and probably repeating it to their kids. (See below for all the mantras in today’s podcast.)
There are other great tidbits and lots of helpful information in this conversation, as we wrap up the lessons for our second parenting fundamental: Raise children to be accountable to life.
|Mar 12, 2018|
41: Hyde Founder Joe Gauld: School Shootings are a School Culture Issue
"Why do we have kids wanting to shoot up a school?"
This is the question Joe Gauld, founder of The Hyde School in Bath, Maine, asks at the beginning of this podcast. Thus starts his explanation of looking at a deeper lesson in the Florida School schooting, rather than just a band aid solution to our national crises of school shootings.
“Develop a safe place or sanctuary,” Joe proposes, “that will allow students to trust that teachers see the best in them and want the best for them. Then let the school be student-centered, based on the character development of each individual as well as the academic development of the kids. In this way we will begin to get rid of the resentment and bullying that has happened as a result of focusing totally on achievement.”
There is a lot of wisdom in what Joe shares with us on this podcast. You can see his full article in the Portland Press Herald: https://www.pressherald.com/2018/02/22/maine-voices-laser-focus-on-each-students-unique-potential-to-make-schools-safe-sanctuaries-of-learning/
|Mar 05, 2018|
40: Hilary Jacobs Hendel: It's Not Always Depression Part 2
Are you worried about a teen who says they are depressed? Do you see anxiety in your teen? Do you find vagueness a part of yours or your teen’s communication?
In part two of our podcast series with Hilary Jacobs Hendel, we learn about what to do if a teen says they are depressed or if they exhibit anxiety. Hilary talks about the importance of roots and wings for our children, the difference between healthy and unhealthy shame in parenting, and why families fall into vagueness as a defense in their communication with one another.
|Feb 26, 2018|
39: Laura Gauld: Laugh at yourself: Mantras 31-35
Can you laugh at yourself during some tough parenting moments? Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? It is possible, says Laura Gauld in our 7th podcast interview in which she shares with us more wisdom from Parenting Fundamental #2: Raise children to be accountable to life.
Laura also shares with us the necessity of teaching our children to delay gratification, and the importance of teaching them how to work.
|Feb 19, 2018|
38: Dawn Menken: “Bullying – the 4 Roles & Getting to the Root”
“What would we have needed in order to be able to talk openly about issues of suicide, teen pregnancy, birth control, addiction, or abuse, (to our parents)?” Dawn Menken in Raising Parents, Raising Kids.
Dawn Menken, author, teacher and workshop leader, has graciously joined us for a second podcast to talk in depth about the issue of bullying. She discusses the four roles of any bullying situation and says each can be alive in all of us at any given time:
She gives tips for parents on how to help children understand what’s at the root of bullying; what parents need to look at in themselves that might be promoting bullying attitudes in their children; and the responsibility parents have in helping to prevent and deal with bullying.
My biggest take-aways from this podcast were learning Dawn’s approach to back talk from our teens, learning how to help a child who is sworn to secrecy by a friend whose secret needs to be known, and the subtlety of where bullying comes from in families.
This podcast is one not to be missed!
Find Dawn at:
Teams Rise Up: Summer Leadership Intensive
|Feb 12, 2018|
37: Hilary Jacobs Hendel - It's Not Always Depression
How do you respond to your child when they get angry at you? Is your answer or reaction also one of anger? Wouldn’t it be great if we understood what emotions get triggered in us that make us respond the way we do?
This podcast with Hilary Jacobs Hendel will help you answer these questions. Hilary has written a book called “It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self.” While the title might lead you to think this book is about therapy or psychoanalysis, there is a lot in it to help parents understand where our emotions come from and how we can respond differently to our kids when they are upset; we can also teach them how to deal with their emotions, rather than throwing up defenses to avoid them.
|Feb 05, 2018|
36: Tricia Uber: College Applications: How much should a parent be involved?
Tricia Uber, Director of College Counseling at Hyde School, advises parents on how much to be involved in the college application process, and where to leave things up to the student. "Students need to have a team for the application and decision process," she says, "but the final decision should be up to the student."
Listen to this podcast and get more advice and wisdom about the entire college application process from Tricia, some of which may surprise you!
|Jan 29, 2018|
35: “This could be good or this could be bad…” Mantras 26-30
This sounds like a parenting conundrum, doesn’t it? So many parenting moments are moments of doubting what the outcome will be, and often doubting ourselves. That’s when we need to go back to our principles, and assure ourselves that even a bad outcome will move us into a new place of learning – about ourselves, as well as our children.
This podcast is filled with gems of parenting wisdom from author and head of Hyde School, Laura Gauld. The mantras we discuss include,
|Jan 22, 2018|
34: Geno Ring on teens and substance use / abuse
Are you worried about a child using substances? Would you like to know how to speak with your teen about substance use?
In this podcast we hear from Geno Ring, Certified Alcohol and Drug counselor, as he shares his 34 years of experience as a substance abuse counselor with us. Geno is not only knowledgeable about the dangers of substance abuse in teenagers, he also has great advice for parents.
While he advocates finding a counselor in your area so you can meet in person, you can find Geno at this confidential email address: email@example.com
|Jan 15, 2018|
33: Fundamental #2: Raise children to be accountable to life: Mantras 21-25
Just the title of this parenting fundamental tells us that parenting is a big job! If we want to help our children grow into responsible adults, with a moral compass and a conscience that guides them, we need to keep in mind that our goal, even when they are teens, is to help them thrive and become independent.
As Laura says in this podcast, “The world is not their mother.”
The five mantras Laura Gauld and I discuss are,
|Jan 08, 2018|
32: Clues on how to teach and model trust, grit, & respect - Mantras 16-20
Do you want your children to grow up trusting their instincts? Of course you do! You want them to take responsible risks, trust themselves, have grit, and be respectful – of themselves as well as to others.
This podcast, covering the last five mantras or lessons of Parenting Fundamental # 1: Understand Your Job as Parents, will give you clues on how to teach and model that, as well as many other tips on making parenting just that much easier and fun.
|Dec 25, 2017|
31: The Next Right Step - Mantras 11-15
In this podcast, Laura Gauld and I look at parenting lessons that will teach us about the different moments we experience in parenting; there are many easy ones, but then there are some that are “calculus moments.” (Tune in to see what these are!)
Be prepared for these calculus moments by listening to the third group of lessons or mantras of Parenting Fundamental # 1: Understand your job as parents:
|Dec 18, 2017|
30: Dawn Menken: Raising Parents, Raising Kids
"If we are awake, children will show us the kind of parenting they need," says Dawn Menken, author of Raising Parents, Raising Kids: Hands-on Wisdom for the Next Generation.
What would that look like? Wouldn’t that be letting the kids be in charge? Not at all says Dawn; it would mean listening differently to our kids and realizing that it’s our job to help them discover their uniqueness, and if we follow their process, the job of parenting becomes one that teaches us more about ourselves along the way.
Dawn Menken is a therapist in Portland, Oregon; she does individual, relationship and family therapy and is also on the faculty of the Process Work Institute in Portland where she teaches graduate courses.
She travels and offers workshops on a variety of themes, including conflict resolution, group facilitation, diversity issues, children and school issues and health and psychology.
You can find her at www.dawnmenken.com
|Dec 11, 2017|
29: Elizabeth Berger: The Book I Wish I Had Read Before My Children Were Born
"Sometimes parenting is two steps forward and one step back," says author Elizabeth Berger in her book, Raising Kids with Character: Developing Trust and Personal Integrity in Children, "But don’t let that discourage you. Your job as a parent is to control the situation, not the child."
Dr. Berger, a board certified child and adolescent psychiatrist with thirty years’ experience treating children and families, shares with us her knowledge about what goes into raising a child of character and the importance of the parent being intensely real. She also says, "it’s never too late."
|Dec 04, 2017|
28: Parents, Stop That Dance of Deception!
Did you like the first 5 lessons that taught us more about Parenting Fundamental #1? If so, you’ll also like this quick session with Laura Gauld on the second five lessons for this fundamental:
Tune in, and discover the courage to stop your own dance of deception and embrace your job as parent. As we say with parenting, it's hard, it's doable, and it's never too late.
|Nov 27, 2017|
27: Mary Moore: Family Meetings Changed Our Lives
Have you ever wished for more meaningful communication in your family? Or how about just more communication?
In this podcast, Director of The Biggest Job Family program at the Hyde School, Mary Moore, describes the difference she saw in her family relationships when they started having family meetings. At first, she felt the meetings were hoakie, but after the first several, she realized there was a different level of trust developing between her children, her husband and herself.
Tune in and find out how you can do family meetings in your home; with commitment and letting go of outcomes, you, too, might establish a deeper level of trust between you and your kids.
|Nov 20, 2017|
26: Jamy Bechler: The Leadership Playbook
Most of us know that sports teams all have leaders. However, would it be possible for everyone on the team to be a leader? Wouldn’t that create confusion, or chaos?
“No,” says Bechler in his most recent book, The Leadership Playbook: Become Your Team’s Most Valuable Leader. “Everyone on the team needs to be striving to do their best, and be their best. It’s called collective responsibility; you are your brother’s keeper; what you do affects others.”
This book teaches anyone who wants to be a leader on a team, or in life, the importance of having core principles and living by them; the importance of leading yourself, and how to do it; how to lead regardless of your role on a team.
Listen to the podcast with Jamy and learn more of what’s in the book, how he came to write it, and his views on the importance of character for kids and parents, whether you’re on a sports team, a work team, or a family team.
|Nov 13, 2017|
25: Robin Sabag: A Guide to Raising Teenage Girls in a New Era
Are teenage girls really difficult to raise? Not according to Robin Axelrod Sabag, who is the author of Strong Girls, Strong Parents: A Guide to Raising Teenage Girls in a New Era.
Not only will you enjoy this podcast, you’ll love the book. Robin is enthusiastic as she imparts many tips for parents of girls and gives background information on understanding why they are the way they are in their teens.
|Nov 06, 2017|
24: Laura Gauld: Parenting Fundamentals, The First Five Lessons
Do you ever wish you had a map and compass for parenting? The 100 Lessons that go with The Five Fundamentals of Parenting might be the closest thing you will find.
In this series, Laura Gauld, co-author of The Biggest Job We’ll Ever Have, will talk about 20 lessons that go with each of the Five Fundamentals. Tune in to the first five lessons, and learn how to do the right thing as a parent, present a united front, and the importance of parenting from your principles, rather than from fear, guilt or control.
Here is a break down of the first 5 Lessons Laura talks about in this podcast of the first Parenting Fundamental, "Understand Your Job as Parents";
|Oct 23, 2017|
23: Mom & Daughter on Raising Responsible Kids
As most parents know, letting go of our children is very hard; we don’t want to see them fail and we often don’t want them to be unhappy. But how do our kids feel when we can’t let go?
This podcast is with a mom, Sally Ross, and her daughter, Bryn Nolan, who graduated from Hyde, and who have a mature, open, and honest relationship with each other. The daughter talks about how grateful she is that she’s learned to be independent, and the mother shares with us the importance of not being afraid to let your child struggle.
They both offer parents some valuable advice on raising responsible kids.
|Jan 30, 2017|
22: Malcolm Gauld: How Brother’s Keeper Works
Imagine a school where every student cared – really cared and was concerned – about the best in their fellow students?
Where the discipline and structure of the school was the responsibility of the students, and not just the teachers?
This concept, originally called Brother’s Keeper and now being called Each Other’s Keeper, is one of the most important concepts of Hyde’s basic tenets: Be the best possible you.
We can’t be the best on our own; we need the help and concern of those around us to achieve our best.
Malcolm Gauld, president of Hyde Schools, explains it best.
|Jan 09, 2017|
21: John Rigney: Every Kid Has Character
Do you ever worry that your child is off track in his or her character? That you’re not getting honest answers to your questions; that they don’t seem passionate about things in their life, or they aren’t really going after something?
Character isn’t missing in kids; it’s there, and just needs to be uncovered. So says veteran teacher, John Rigney of Hyde School.
In this podcast, John describes how, through classes such as he teaches, kids can better understand themselves and be better prepared for college and the world as they leave high school.
Find John on Twitter: @jdrigney
|Dec 05, 2016|
20: Louise Kreiner: Parents, Teens, and Privacy
Do you think you know what’s going on with your teen? Louise Kreiner, an educational consultant for over 30 years, thinks most parents don’t know what’s going on with their teens. “Teens are very private,” she says. “They share with their friends but they don’t share with their parents.”
She thinks parents should have access to their teen’s room and also to their computer and devices; she feels too many parents today walk on eggshells around their kids. “Be the parent, not their friend,” she says.
Louise is a big fan of Hyde and she talks candidly about the type of family that she feels is a good fit for the school.
Louise Kreiner, MA, CEP
Phone: (978) 388-1578
|Nov 21, 2016|
19: Lenore Skenazy: Free Range Kids
How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry)
Want the answers to this statement? Then read Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy; and, listen to this podcast. (Well, the answers are in the book; the podcast is about what has influenced our fear of letting go…)
Lenore is the woman who let her nine-year-old ride the New York City subway by himself. And started a whole new movement about what it means to keep kids safe.
She says, (and I’m paraphrasing)… “I don’t blame helicopter parents; it’s not their fault. We’ve been programmed to believe that the world is a very scary place, and unless we have a GPS on our kids at all times, we’re not being good parents.”
She rebuffs this idea with facts based on research and conversations that will help parents realize when and where they might be overprotecting their children and preventing their competence and confidence.
You get an immediate sense of Lenore’s delightful humor from the website www.freerangekids.com: “fighting the belief that our children are in constant danger from creeps, kidnapping, germs, grades, flashers, frustration, failure, baby snatchers, bugs, bullies, men, sleepovers and / or the perils of a non-organic grape.”
Hope you enjoy!
|Nov 07, 2016|
18: Laura Gauld: The 5 Fundamentals of Parenting
Wouldn’t it be great to have a map and a compass for our parenting? A “true north” answer for every situation that challenged our parenting decisions and wisdom?
In our second interview with Laura Gauld from Hyde School, we are introduced to 5 Fundamentals of Parenting that might be that kind of guide.
While not actually being answers, these 5 Fundamentals give us a grounded place from which to look at each parenting challenge, and a kind of compass to keep heading in the right direction.
|Oct 31, 2016|
17: Rhonda Moskowitz: Parenting is Hard
No one knows this more than parenting coach Rhonda Moskowitz of Columbus, Ohio. She says,
“We have to remember that it’s about us, the parents; if it were about the kids, it would be called kidding.”
In this podcast interview, Rhonda tells us the four things about which parents most often seek her advice:
In an upbeat, insightful way, Rhonda shares the importance of remaining calm when faced with a parenting fear, that going into high panic mode is not helpful, despite how fearful the issue might be, and the importance of building a relationship with your child.
You can find Rhonda Moskowitz at www.practicalsolutionsparentcoaching.com or by phone at 614-459-8628.
|Oct 24, 2016|
16: Jason Warnick: 3 Surprising Traits High School Graduates Need
Jason Warnick has spent 15 years interviewing kids and families interested in Hyde School. He has seen teens as they begin their freshman, sophomore, or junior year, and he has watched them as they have come to gain confidence in who they are and where they are going in their lives. He’s observed three – what he calls “surprising” – traits that these kids possess:
And where do kids learn these traits? You guessed it – from their parents. How are you doing in these three areas?
|Oct 17, 2016|
15: Donna Dubinsky: What Teens Don't Know About Technology
Most parents think their teens know everything about technology, and in fact are ahead of us, the parents. But Donna Dubinsky, head of technology at Hyde School, shares some fascinating information about what teens don’t know in this area.
What does a private account on face book really mean? Does it mean complete privacy? Will college admissions offices be able to see postings that teens thought were private? If they post on snap chat and then delete, does it really go away? What is trolling? Why don’t teens see sexting as an intimate conversation?
Donna learned from the teens she teaches that they feel the adults in their lives are not setting the best example in digital citizenship. Listen to this podcast and learn what you need to know to advise your teen, and to be the best you can be as a digital citizen.
Learn more about Hyde School's Parenting, The Biggest Job at www.biggestjob.com.
|Oct 10, 2016|
14: Cyber Wise: Raising Teens in the Digital Age
Do you ever wonder if you'll ever be as savvy on those devices as your kids?
And what about the amount of time they spend "plugged in?" Do you worry about a proper balance in their lives?
Diana Graber and Cynthia Liebermann, who run an organization called Cyber Wise: No Grownup Left Behind, met in graduate school in a program called Media Psychology and Social Change. They decided to take what they had learned on digital literacy and how kids learn in this changing world, and make it available to the people who need it most: parents and teachers.
If you worry about the ethical decisions behind what your kids do when they're on-line, join this podcast for some great advice.
Learn more about Hyde School's Parenting, The Biggest Job at www.biggestjob.com.
|Oct 03, 2016|
13: Ben and Bonita Davis: Taking a Risk By Letting Go
If you've noticed a theme in some of our podcasts about letting go, that’s probably because most parents struggle with it – a lot!
In this podcast, former and current parents - one son has graduated and a second son is going into his senior year - Ben and Bonita Davis, share candidly about how the tension in their family had drifted from the vision they had for family members and themselves, how they found Hyde, and how it helped them in their parenting.
They found that the parent program deepened their trust in their kids and strengthened the love and trust that they had for each other.
Learn more about Hyde School's Parenting, The Biggest Job at www.biggestjob.com.
|Sep 26, 2016|
12: Barbara Leventhal: “What Your Child Needs to Be Happy”
“Every parent has a dream for their child; what is your dream?”
This is the question educational consultant, Barbara Leventhal, asks parents the first time she meets with them. “The most universal answer,” she says, “is, ‘I just want my child to be happy.’”
“It’s usually in middle school when parents come to me, realizing that their child is turned off. Once this happens, there are often a myriad of problems that can start to happen, from eating disorders and cutting, to unsafe friends and distractions while driving. And I believe that most of these things happen when kids are disengaged in learning.”
As a former classroom teacher and then school administrator, Barbara now works with middle and high school students, teaching them study skills and time management, what is often referred to as executive function.
In this podcast, Barbara gives parents the answer to what their child needs to be happy.
|Jul 11, 2016|
11: Holly White: “A Blended Family & Boarding School”
School is for kids but Hyde is for families.
Holly White, former Hyde parent, has a blended family that all benefited from Hyde School, although only her youngest child attended the school.
She talks candidly about getting past the disappointment of not having your child at home with you for high school, the financial burden of the tuition, and especially the resistance of the teen to leave home and go away to school.
She uses the term “deterioration of the fabric of our family,” a term that typifies many families today. At Hyde, Holly learned that she was the peacemaker in the family, and how that role held the family back from creating a vision by which to live. She now lives with the weight of her foot in Truth over Harmony.
|Jul 04, 2016|
10: Vicki Hoefle: “Duct Tape Parenting”
“What would it be like if parenting was fun and exciting and life with your kids was full of peace, harmony, cooperation, and respect?”
This is a question early in Vicki Hoefle’s book, Duct Tape Parenting.
Consistent with the Biggest Job philosophy, Vicki teaches parents that the true job of parenting is what our kids will be like from the ages of 18 – 80. She stresses that moms have got to get out of the job of being the maid in the house; that when we do for our kids what they can do for themselves, we send the message to them that it’s not okay for them to make mistakes.
“Look at how you might be feeding the weeds of bad behavior and attitudes,” she writes, “by noticing your responses to your children.”
If you’d like a blueprint, complete with road map and directions, on how to raise respectful, responsible, and resilient kids – here it is!
|Jun 27, 2016|
Paul Tough: "Helping Children Succeed: What Works and Why"
Paul Tough’s book, his third, is great! Although focused on disadvantaged populations of kids and families, there are many ideas, interventions, and strategies that apply to all populations. These include:
Focusing on children who grow up in chaotic and stressful environments, Paul talks about the influence that adverse childhood experiences have on both kids and those who are parenting or teaching them. He relates stories about proven interventions that he has observed, sharing the outcome of long-term studies. He shares with us his hope for change in education, and why he thinks it takes so long for change to occur.
You’ll hear a lot from the book in this interview with Paul, but you’ll still want to read this little, 114 page powerfully-packed book!
For more about Paul Tough, visit his website at www.paultough.com/helping.
|Jun 21, 2016|
09: Claire Grant: “Parenting Today vs. 20 Years Ago”
Is parenting different today than it was 20 years ago?
How much does fear of a more unsettled world affect parenting today? Why do parents protect their children more these days? Is the world really less safe? Is the job of parenting different?
Children today, especially teens, don’t really know what it means to “grow up.” Is this a problem with the child or with our parenting?
We take a look at this question with podcast guest, Claire Grant, Executive Director of Family Education at Hyde School. Listen to what Claire has learned in her 35 years of work with parents and teens, and learn from her what parents can do to raise children who will achieve their potential.
|Jun 20, 2016|
08: Randi Levin: “Divorce and Your Teen”
Randi Levin, a transitional and reinvention coach in New Jersey, talks about her experience as a child of divorced parents and the effect it had on her growing up. She feels that children of divorce experience the divorce for much longer than they realize, and that pieces of it stay with you throughout your life.
After the recent death of her mother, she recognized that her mother’s death caused her to relive the divorce in some way.
Randi says, “No matter how old your children are when you divorce, the foundation you lay coming out of the relationship with your significant other sets the tone that your family will have for the rest of your lives.” She sees this as very important and asks parents to remember that they are not divorcing their children.
|Jun 13, 2016|
07: Hilary Jacobs Hendel: “Anxiety, Anger, & Shame”
Hilary Jacobs Hendel is a psychotherapist in New York City who helps her clients heal and transform themselves by using the science of emotions. Her expertise is in AEDP, which stands for Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy.
She suggests that it’s often a comfort for teens to be able to be angry at their parents; that when parents make decisions for their kids that are not popular, the kid can be angry, but they won’t feel shame about their choice because in some circumstances the decision needs to be made for the teen.
She counsels parents on how to “be there” for their teens and at the same time be able to step back enough to let the teen feel the support and ask for it if needed. She finds parents are as frightened of the separation from their teens as the teen is, and she acknowledges how difficult it is for parents to let go because of all that is out there and available to kids today.
|Jun 06, 2016|
06: Joe Gauld: “Unique Potential, Destiny, and Parents”
Back in 1962, Joe Gauld, founder of Hyde School, had a crisis of conscience because he felt the American education system was too focused on achievement and not enough on character. He shares with us the founding of the first Hyde School in 1966, stating that the school was founded on the belief that, “Every individual is gifted with a unique potential that defines a destiny.” Later, he learned the school must incorporate an essential parent program, as he discovered that “Home is the primary classroom, and parents are the primary teachers.” He also shares that parents need to go through the same process as the kids.
Joe talks about how distractions – those parts of us that take us off track from being our best - in both parents and kids, can cause shame; but once these are realized simply as distractions, we can deal with the shame and move on.
In Joe’s words, “I think that parents today are too worried about parenting, and the worry takes away their strength in parenting. It’s just a matter of connecting with their kids, recognizing that their kids want to grow and they just want someone to help them grow.”
Lastly, he talks about the importance of vulnerability in order to grow. And he recommends two things parents need to do. You’ll find them in the podcast.
|May 30, 2016|
05: Laura Main: “From Special Needs to a Special Kid”
Laura Main is an educator who knew that her son was not getting what he needed in his hometown, public school setting. He was classified as a special needs kid, but no one was paying attention to what those special needs were, nor was anyone concerned that this student live up to his unique potential.
After being told by a psychiatrist that she was “wasting her money” sending her son to her, Laura found Hyde School. Here her son turned into a “special kid,” not a special needs kid, thanks to the dedication and vision of the faculty at the Hyde School in Woodstock. He became a leader who learned to speak in front of large groups, and he loved learning to be part of a team.
Tune in to hear Laura’s story about how Hyde helped not only her son, but herself and her entire family.
|May 23, 2016|
04: Fern Weis: “Changing the Dynamic with your Teen”
After sending her son to a wilderness program, Fern Weis had learned about The Hyde School and knew it was the right place for her son and their family. Two things sold her on Hyde: the 24/7 character culture and the parent program.
“We were good people,’ she said, “and we tried our hardest, but our good intentions were not enough. We didn’t give our son credit for being able to maneuver through life; instead of going for his best, we were always trying to prevent the worst.”
A former teacher now turned parent coach, Fern finds that most of her clients are frustrated with the lack of communication they have with their teen and the deterioration of the relationship. She also sees a lot of parents who are abdicating their role as a parent.
In this podcast, learn Fern’s tips for changing the dynamic with your teen.
|May 16, 2016|
03: Malcolm Gauld: "Family-Based Character Education"
Is Hyde really a school for parents? Malcolm Gauld shares his journey as a student at Hyde, a faculty member at Hyde, as the Head of School, and his journey as a parent in the program.
He also shares some insight into the teen mind. Find out the answer he gets when Hyde asks students, “If you had a serious life problem and you needed to get some help, who would you seek? Would you choose your parents? Would you choose a Hyde faculty?”
On what exactly “family-based character education” is, he states—“if you put great teaching up against poor parenting, poor parenting will win as the ultimate influence in a young person’s life. What we need to do is have great teaching and great parenting.”
On the Hyde School Family Education program, “The parent program at Hyde, for me,” says Malcolm, “was my deepest experience as a Hyde person. It caught me a little bit by surprise.”
Having worked with teens and their families for decades, Malcolm has also developed some keen insights into the college process, and shares his #1 rule that, if followed, seems to always guarantee a student will be successful in college.
|May 09, 2016|
02: Jessica Lahey: "The Gift of Failure"
Wouldn't it be great to be a parent who didn't fear failure for your child? Who didn't worry if your daughter studied or not for the biggest test of the semester? Who trusted that if the grade wasn't what she was capable of, she would speak to the teacher and take care of it, not you, the parent?
How can one become this kind of mom or dad, who knows when to take hold and when to let go?
Listen to Jessica Lahey, author of The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed, to find out. You'll start to understand the deep reasoning she uses to explain the importance of allowing your children to struggle, and how to be the kind of parent who puts raising competent, capable adults ahead of their own happiness.
|May 02, 2016|
01: Laura Gauld: “Take the Long View in Parenting”
How can a parent take the long view in parenting when the police have just arrested their teen for drunk driving? Or when the school has called and said, “Your daughter is not going to walk with her class due to a plagiarizing incident…,” or any other myriad of challenges that kids seem to put before their parents.
“Take the long view,” says author Laura Gauld. “Instead of asking yourself, ‘Will my child grow up to be happy?’ or, ‘will my child be independent as an adult?’ ask yourself, ‘will my child learn how to take a risk and fall flat on his face?’”
In this introductory podcast to Parenting Teens: The Biggest Job We’ll Ever Have, based on the book of the same name by Laura and Malcolm Gauld, learn from Laura the importance of taking the long view, the importance of having a personal vision for your life, and that it’s never too late to change your parenting.
|Apr 17, 2016|