Since bringing in Conscious Parenting to my coaching practice and my personal life, I have seen a powerful positive change in how I relate to my children. This is why today’s interview with Sandra Fazio is personally so wonderful for me. Sandra not only teaches parents how to begin bringing the principles of Conscious Parenting into their homes, but she also loves it out with her own daughter. Sandra, like many parents, thought she had everything planned out to perfection. As we all learn once we become parents, children rarely align with even the best-laid plans. Sandra found it difficult to relate to or discipline her daughter, and so she turned to Conscious Parenting to end some of the strife in her home. What she unlocked was a whole new way of not just thinking about her child, but about herself too.

When the pressure of being a Solo Parent pushes you to a breaking point, Conscious Parenting reminds you to check in with yourself. Self-kindness is easily one of the most powerful tenants of Conscious Parenting, and it’s a step that Sandra has taken to heart. She now encourages everyone to parent through deep connection and open communication. I am thankful to include Sandra’s story and perspective into the Solo Parent Community because she has faced many of the same setbacks that we have as well.         

Sandra’s story reminds us to take each day one step at a time. Your relationship with your children is ever-evolving, and it is time to trust that you know how to listen and respond to your children in a conscientious way.

More in this episode:

• Sandra shares her own motherhood story as an older mother.
• How Sandra got interested in conscious parenting.
• Tough times parenting her daughter influenced Sandra to stop putting so much anxiety into how her planned parenting.
• Letting go and living presently enabled Sandra to see how conscious parenting could change her life.
• What conscious parenting is all about.
• How Sandra incorporated conscious parenting into time with her daughter.
• Parenting is an ever-changing, ongoing journey.
• Children are operating at a much higher wavelength now.
• Sandra needs to pay attention to her daughter to see how her needs change.
• How to cope with our own triggered emotions.
• Parents have to wear many hats.
• How to say “no.”

Resources:

Sandra Fazio

Facebook - Sandra Fazio

Parent Listening Group

Solo Parent Life - Coaching

It can be difficult to find moments of peace in the middle of our crazy lives. Sometimes, we feel so overwhelmed and out of our depth, and we simply want to step away from it all. Unfortunately, if you are a solo parent, you can’t always pass the kids along to your partner for 10 minutes of quiet. How can you, as a single parent, cultivate some peace and positivity into your daily life? I have an expert guest with me today that is going to give you incredible, easy tools you can use to take care of yourself and connect with your children.

Dr. Laura Markham is a Clinical Psychologist and founder of Aha! Parenting. Laura loves working with parents to help them build mindfulness and peace back into their parenting. She knows how unsupported parents feel as they try to guide and connect with their kids, so she has generated resources and written books that you can use at any time. Her most recent book, The Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook is filled to bursting with exercises that will help you rewire your thinking and build peace back into the day-to-day. Knowing that parents are always busy, and single parents even more so, Laura has crafted her resources to fit any schedule.

Today, we are going to chat about how to build up your inner resilience, understand your parenting triggers, and work through difficult situations in a helpful way. Whether the kids are bickering or your child is shouting, Laura’s techniques will help you regulate your emotions and transform high-tension moments into moments of peace. Her skills are founded on coaching principles that focus on positivity, rather than simple survival. You will breathe a sigh of relief once we are done talking today! Peace is possible, and we are going to get you there.

More in this episode:

• Laura tells us about how she works with parents to guide and grow their children in a supportive environment.
• Connection is everything!
• We need to be coaching instead of punishing.
• Parents need to have support to know how to self-regulate and take care of themselves.
• We need to have emotional generosity.
• Understand your own triggers as well as your child’s.
• You can take care of yourself while you are with your kids.
• Advice for parents who are struggling with self-love.
• Positivity is building coaching moments.
• What these techniques are doing to change how your brain thinks.

Resources:

Aha! Parenting

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook plus all of Laura’s books!

Connect with me!

soloparentlife@gmail.com

Busy Solo Parents often wonder how they are going to get food on the table, let alone make something jam-packed with nutrients that everyone will eat. Life is already chaotic enough! I am here to tell you today that making, simple, healthy, and delicious meals are absolutely within your reach! I’ve brought on a guest today who is going to walk us through the process of creating nutritious meals children will love. As an added bonus, she’s a mom herself who has seen her fair share of struggle. Welcome with me to the show today, Maria Quintana-Pilling!

Maria is a functional nutrition and lifestyle practitioner, certified nutrition consultant, and the chef-founder of Urban Spice Nutrition. After struggling with her own health and digestion, Maria found the strength to make significant lifestyle changes, including her diet. She certainly knows how difficult it can be to raise kiddos while your health is failing, so now she is committed to empowering women struggling with similar hormonal and digestive issues with her incredible nutrition programs.

I know you are going to find this episode just as helpful as I did. Maria emphasizes that planning your meals ahead of time gives you power over those key nutrients your kiddos need. Today, she will teach us how to be mindful of how we prepare meals, and why balanced nutrition is so important! Our nutrition affects everything from our energy levels to our hormone balance. When we are putting more of what is good for us in, we can only see positive results. Maria believes the key to a healthy future is giving our children the tools and resources they need to make healthy choices for the rest of their lives. What could be a better gift than a legacy of healthy food to power them through life’s biggest moments?

More in this episode:

• Maria explains how nutrition became her second career after a fibroid diagnosis.
• Nutrition has played an important role in Maria’s continued health through pregnancy and beyond.
• Good nutrition can keep your hormones in balance!
• Why you should not be skipping breakfast!
• Breakfast staples you can use to stock your kitchen.
• Plan dinners a week ahead of time!
• Your freezer is your friend.
• Maria chimes in on detoxing, and how to make it yours.
• Advice for Solo Parents tackling nutrition.

Resources:

Co-Parenting Resource

Solo Parent Life

Urban Spice Online

Maria@urbanspicenutrition.com

Squash Soup Recipe

Maria’s Breakfast Challenge

One of the biggest fears many parents face is the fear that we are not preparing our kids for the “Real World.” Life skills are difficult to teach, but they are so important for our children to be successful. The official name for this vital skillset is “Social Emotional Intelligence,” or the ability to navigate social problems with empathy and self-respect. I am excited to begin to dive into this topic with Jennifer Miller today. Jennifer is the founder of Confident Families Confident Kids, an online compendium of resources all about parenting children with a high Social Emotional Intelligence. She is quite the expert on the topic, and today she will share practical examples as well as encouraging stories showcasing exactly why we should be prioritizing Social Emotional Intelligence in our parenting.

After realizing there really was not a simple, research-based resource for parents on Social Emotional Intelligence, Jennifer set out to create one. She used her own personal struggles as well as her informed perspectives to write articles and offer up tips for parents. When her son was very young, Jennifer noticed she had quite an emotional response to his misbehaviors. Rather than being content with these feelings and challenges, Jennifer armed herself with knowledge and changed her parenting to model and reflect Social Emotional Intelligence. I think Jennifer’s approach is admirable, and I know you will be encouraged by her stories. Rather than hiding the struggle, Jennifer embraces the process of slowly developing the skills that will set her son up for an incredible future.

You do not have to be ruled by the fear of failing your children. Thanks to Jennifer, you have resources at your disposal to help you develop Social Emotional Intelligence with your kiddos. Listen today to find out how to get started!

More in this episode:

• Jennifer shares everything about her family and why she is passionate about Social and Emotional Intelligence.
• Jennifer wanted to write on her blog to intentionally help parents develop social and emotional skills for everyday life.
• Get a good definition of Social Emotional Intelligence.
• We can take cues from our emotions and respond in ways that does no harm.
• Learn the 5 Competency areas of Social Emotional Intelligence.
• We work inwardly first, so then we can begin the outward work.
• Step back and reflect on our responses as a parent.
• Teaching self management is about demonstrating them ourselves.
• Your history as a parent will come up.
• Intentional practice can be a part of playtime.
• Tips for parents with older kids.
• Tools and resources for you to use right away!

Links

Confident Parents Confident Kids

Family Emotional Safety Plan 

NBC Parent Toolkit

Parenting your pre-teens and teenagers has its own unique set of challenges. While there might not be any more diapers to change or tantrums to manage, older children still need a specific kind of love and attention. Most of the time, parents end up frustrated! This phase of life can often be isolating for Solo Parents. Without carpool lines and trips to the park, it can be difficult to find a place to commiserate with fellow teen parents. This is exactly the kind of thing that my guest, Vickie Vann, is trying to fix!

Vickie is a fellow therapist in the area who loves to work with adults and families. She has a teen son and felt she was missing a safe place to express her concern, get advice, and vent a little. After finding there were no opportunities for parents of teens to connect and support each other, Vickie cofounded with Deb Blum parent support groups at her son’s high school. The groups have taken off, and many parents are finding comfort and confidence through genuine connection with one another.

Vickie is going to share just how powerful communities really are. She’ll dive deep into the mind of a teenager, and come up to bat for the dreaded “helicopter parents.” She is a wealth of advice on everything from scheduling sleepovers to pushing through homework blocks. If you are a teen parent, you are definitely going to want to give this show a listen! Parents of little ones, this episode is a glimpse into what’s coming for you in just a few short years. Pre-teens and teenagers require parenting in a different way. Don’t be afraid of these challenges! Instead, Vickie encourages us all to seek out opportunities to shape your children into the adults they will become. Deny it all they want, these teens still need mom and dad. We promise!

More in this episode:

• Vickie loves working with parents by creating discussion groups and support networks.
• Understanding the teenage brain.
• Our kids are exposed to so much so early, they seem more mature than they are.
• Parenting gets more intensive when your children get older.
• We can help our children develop and grow by “lending them” our frontal lobes.
• Letting our kids fail is not always the best method to teach them.
• Move out of negative thinking and into positive change.
• Stay in the game! Find your common ground and get into their world.

It is a busy time of year, isn’t it? With kids out of school, gifts to buy, and relatives to see, the pace of the holidays feels hectic, even more so for a single parent. There are some seasons of life when you feel all the weight of responsibility on your shoulders. Seasons come and go; some are wonderful, and some more difficult. Today, I wanted to highlight just how important it is we keep this in mind during times that are more hectic or troubling. I think this is something my guest, Kelsey Baldwin, knows well.

Kelsey is the owner of Paper +Oats, an online business that has seen a lot of success in recent years. Kelsey is also creating incredible online content including e-courses for budding business owners. On her blog, she often writes about how she manages a business as a single mother. Especially since she is pretty much the whole show at her business, I wanted to pick Kelsey’s mind about how she finds a balance between work and life. She maintains that balance well but acknowledges that it hasn’t always been easy. Keeping in mind the seasons that come and go, Kelsey moves her life in a direction that benefits both her and her daughter, Poppy, in a positive way.

This is a sweet and compassionate interview that will resonate well with those of us who are walking through a difficult set of circumstances. Let Kelsey’s story fill you with hope, and give you a few ideas for how to enter into this next phase of life.

More in this episode:

• Kelsey shares all about herself and her online business, Paper + Oats.
• The story behind how Kelsey became a single parent.
• The baby was a place for Kelsey to celebrate during the early days.
• We chat about how the grieving process really never ends.
• How to find the work/life balance with small children.
• Kelsey’s personal strengths that allow her to run her business on her own.
• Dealing with the pressure of everything falling on you.
• Parting words of wisdom for those of us in the middle of difficult seasons.

Resources:

Paper + Oats

https://www.paperandoats.com/

Join our Facebook community for my weekly Facebook Live: https://www.facebook.com/DrRockettSoloParentLife/

How can we all work together to build a community that supports our children? Our school-aged children spend most of their week at school, so our job as parents is to support and cooperate with the teachers they are spending that time with. Ideally, this process would be as collaborative and compassionate, but sometimes those teacher relationships can be challenging. This is why I am excited to have Dr. Arina Bokas with me today. Her book Building Powerful Learning Environments: From Schools to Communities is directed towards teachers but applies to everyone. She is going to talk about her book, her experiences as both a teacher and a parent, and then give us some strategies to use as our children grow and learn at school.                 

Building a good relationship with our teachers is essential for supporting your children through the school years.  Any good communication you can set up early will help pave the way to success. Dr. Bokas encourages us to approach communication with compassion and curiosity. She has such useful tools to share with us today, with wisdom directed at Solo Parents, who sometimes feel even more pressure to be involved in their child’s education.

You definitely do not want to miss out on this excellent interview! I certainly got a lot out of my conversation with Arina, and I know you will too.

More in this episode:

• Hear all about Arina’s experiences with school communities.
• The book was built around a need.
• There was a breakdown in communication and understanding, which leads to a divisive nature in our ability to teach our students.
• Parental concerns v. Teacher concerns.
• Understanding the whole child means we have to work together.
• The conflict between adults in the child’s life can affect them.
• Be proactive. Connect with your teacher at the beginning of the year.
• Teachers need to know you are a single parent.
• Do not be afraid to ask for help.
• Organizing time, allowing your child to struggle.
• Show curiosity in what your child is learning.
• Assisting students who are older.
• How to communicate what your child needs to your teacher.
• What happens when things don’t go the way you want them to.
• Don’t go over the teacher’s head to the principal.
• Be careful about our language. We can collaborate without playing the blame game.

Resources:

Kids Standard Magazine: http://www.kidsstandard.org/

Dr. Arina Bokas http://culturesofpartnerships.com/

Twitter @ArinaBokas

Link to buy Dr. Bokas’ Book:

Building Powerful Learning Environments

Are you feeling a little anxious about The Dating Talk? My kids are still very young, but I am already beginning to think about how to have conversations about healthy relationships. So often we think of words like “consent,” and automatically go to sex. Consent is about more than physical intimacy; it’s also about respect and boundaries. The more our children understand their boundaries and needs, as well as the needs of others, the better they will be when things like sex and dating come up in their lives.

We often get a little stuck on all the heavy emotions around dating and romance, so I wanted to bring to you a resource to help you navigate tricky moments. My guest today is Mike Domitrz, the author of May I Kiss You? And the founder of The Date Safe Project. Mike has created amazing resources for parents and kids to use together to have healthy conversations about relationships. Most important to Mike is that both adults and kids understand true consent requires more than permission to touch. It’s also about wanting that intimate contact. Consent comes down to communication, and you and I both know how tricky it can be to communicate with pre-teens and teens. Luckily, Mike has for us today some easy ways to have conversations that make the whole thing feel less icky and personal.

Do you want your kids to be able to respond well when their peers start joking about sex? What about sexting and pornography? Mike is going to share with you today the tools and skills your kids will need to know in order to navigate these tricky social situations. In the end, I think these conversations are an avenue to really connect deeply with your older kids. You do not want to miss out on all this information today!

More in this episode:

• Mike never planned to be speaking on sexual health and consent, but a family circumstance showed him his calling.
• Understanding consent in the healthy and the legal way.
• Clear communication with boundaries is key, and it won’t “ruin the moment.”
• Teaching consent starts with ourselves.
• How we can open the door to conversations about consent.
• Issues of consent crop up even without the issues of dating and sex.
• All about Can I Kiss You? And who it will really reach. There’s no age limit.
• Reading body language is a power trip.
• How to talk to your kids without making it personal and emotional.
• Giving kids skillsets to deal with all the hormones and feelings.
• Kids have information available to them online, so we can be a resource instead of their other sources.
• Dealing with sexting and giving them skills to handle moments with friends.
• How to have a goofy or a serious moment to connect with your kids.

Resources

Mike’s Online Home

https://www.datesafeproject.org/

Reach out to me to join one of our listening groups!

soloparentlife@gmail.com

What can you do when your child is acting out? There is a lot of information out there about discipline, behavior modification, and diagnosing the root of your child’s behavior. Some of us have come from traditional, disciplinarian homes. Others have problems setting up boundaries. Have you ever taken a moment to reflect that these moments of acting out are a chance for you and your child to grow closer together? Before you lose your cool entirely, give this interview with Lori Petro a listen. She truly has some great recommendations and resources for parents who might be struggling with everything relating to discipline.

Lori is the mind behind Teach Through Love, a wealth of online resources for parents, solo or not, that serve to build up communication and enhance emotional intelligence with your kids. When your child is acting out, it is usually in response to an inability to express what they are thinking or feeling. We as parents have a huge opportunity to teach our children how to express themselves and then listen to what they have to say. Lori is going to show us today some ways that we can begin to build trust with our kiddos. We can build emotional intelligence starting with our own responses to behavior. It truly is as simple as learning to listen.

More in this episode:

• Lori created Teach Do Love to help parents understand their children.
• The big struggles most parents face as far as behavior is concerned.
• What are we saying to ourselves when our children are misbehaving?
• Lori sees conflict as a way to grow and develop our brains.
• Kids need to know it is safe to make mistakes.
• Lori uses her own childhood experiences to inform the resources she creates for parents.
• Forget whatever goals you are trying to work on, and work on building that relationship.
• Give your children an outlet for their feelings.
• Feelings are a part of life, and if we stuff them, they come out in different ways.
• We are really building emotional intelligence.

Resources

Teach Through Love: http://www.teach-through-love.com/

Have you given much thought to the legacy you want to leave behind? As Solo Parents, we have a great capacity to fill our children with memories of our lives and theirs to empower, inspire, and reassure them during times of hardship or uncertainty. No one understands that better than Melanie Vetter, and that is why I am so excited to start our conversation about legacy today. Melanie’s work with Legacy Letters is incredibly interesting, and the fact that she’s my neighbor makes this conversation an extra treat.                  

Melanie Vetter is a writing instructor and legacy advisor, but really she helps people use their personal stories to build connections, resilience, and personal legacy. Melanie is passionate about the power of our personal stories and is dedicated to teaching and empowering others to celebrate document, and share a purpose-filled life using fun and joyful tools and techniques. She is an attorney, a certified Legacy Advisor, and a Certified Senior Advisor, and holds a certificate in Guided Autobiography Instruction from the Birren Center for Autobiographical Studies.

Melanie and I had a chance to chat in-person, which is such a gift, let me tell you! As we enter this season of thankfulness and family, this episode will help you cultivate the gratitude and excitement you need to have these conversations with your family. You’ll be amazed! This is a powerful episode filled with so many incredible resources you do not want to miss.

More in this episode:

• Melanie shares how she became involved with Legacy Letters.
• Ways Melanie’s family have been using the letters to grow closer together.
• Tools that Melanie teaches her guided autobiography classes.
• Autobiography is a powerful way to gain a new understanding of yourself.
• The hidden power of the thank-you note.
• Tips for Thanksgiving, sharing stories, and legacy.

Resources:

Melanie’s Website www.wellfleetcircle.com

Contact her at melanie@wellfleetcircle.com

Melanie’s Thanksgiving blog post: http://wellfleetcircle.com/thanksgiving/

Link to sign up for the Free 5 Questions to Ask at the Holiday Table guide http://wellfleetcircle.com/5-questions-ask-holiday-table/. 

Melanie’s SMILE Guide for writing thank you notes with ease and joy: http://wellfleetcircle.com/smile-ebook/

Legacy Letters Blogs: http://wellfleetcircle.com/category/legacy-letters/

Legacy Letters Examples: http://wellfleetcircle.com/legacy-letters-and-legacy-books/

Is there such a thing as a perfect parent? Absolutely not! Is there such a thing as a thriving parent? YES! As Solo Parents, the pressure feels like its been pushed up to 11 for us. It can be a struggle to make it through the week with everything in one piece, let alone feeling good about those pieces! How can we begin to enjoy the abundance of life? What is the secret to a thriving life filled with contentment? It’s all about your mindset!

My guest today is Shawn Fink, the founder of Abundant Mama. Shawn’s program and writing are focused on supporting Moms, but her advice applies to everyone. She doesn’t shy away from difficult topics. Instead, she is on a mission to connect moms to one another with programs and tools designed to get you working from the inside out. She wants to show women that they can feel connected to other moms out there in a pursuit of abundance. Find people who are hurting like you are hurting, and then work together to heal and grow!

Shawn’s approach to parenting is compassionate and real. We talk about so many relatable topics, but the takeaway is that it is worthwhile to cultivate a contented life. Trust yourself on your journey, and take it slow. You’ve got this.

More in this episode:

• Shawn shares how all of her different life experiences allows her to fuel her writings on motherhood.
• Loneliness was a tool Shawn used to form Abundant Mama.
• What exactly is an Abundant Mama? Hint: It’s not perfection!
• How we can cultivate contentment.
• There is inner work to do to find abundance.
• So many of our struggles are universal, and there is such beauty in that!
• How to navigate parenting expert advice in your unique situation.
• Make decisions that honor where you are right now.

Resources:

Check out Abundant Mama Online and sign up for Shawn’s newest class!

http://www.abundantmama.com/

We love to sing the praises of self-care on the Solo Parent Life Podcast, but for many parents, actually finding the time and space to practice can be a challenge. If they do manage to find the time, we sometimes feel guilty or unsure that self-care is even worth the time! Are you one of those parents? Then this episode is for you! Have you been practicing self-care, but seem to be missing out on all the benefits? Then listen in too. Today, we sing just a little more to share our self-care successes!

One of the joys of my podcast journey has been reaching out to local parents in my area. Today, I got a chance to chat with my new friend Deb Blum. Deb is a Parent Coach who loves working with Moms on self-care. Not only is she a dynamic coach, but she is also quite simply a lovely person. I enjoyed my conversation with Deb, because of her generosity and care for others. She is truly a supporter of all Mamas from all walks of life, and I think you will find yourself encouraged after today. There is no right or wrong way to take care of yourself. It is all about being able to listen to what you need at the moment. Give yourself a little grace, and hop on into this uplifting episode!

Also in this episode:

• How Deb encourages her clients to make an identity shift and take care of themselves.
• What Social Media has done to the pressures of motherhood.
• How you can take steps to limit your suffering and embrace your full life.
• Deb explains how she learned to listen to her body and her emotions.
• Tools that parents can use to help us through life’s hardest struggles.
• The freedom of letting go of your to-dos, and embracing the small moments of joy!

Connect with Deb online

It’s been a year since I started Solo Parent Life, and I can hardly believe it! Thank you to all of you who have listened and offered feedback and support for me during this exciting journey. Today’s episode is simply a chance for me to pause and reflect on the insights that I have gained doing a year of podcasting. I’ll cover my favorite episodes, favorite guests, and challenging topics that I have used to grow as a parent. You are not alone out there, friend! Thanks for coming along on this journey with me.

More from this episode:

• I’ve been learning to trust myself.
• How to turn the volume down on your self-criticism.
• What this community has served to do in my life.
• Being present with our kids when they most need it is our greatest work in progress.
• I share some of my favorite episodes!

Links:

Feel free to reach out to me at soloparentlife@gmail.com or go to soloparentlife.com/coaching to get started with your free 15-minute consultation.

Now that school is in full swing and the kids are (hopefully!) back in a routine, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to bring out this pre-recorded interview with Michelle Gale. Michelle is a kind and compassionate mother, who is encouraging parents with her own podcast, “Mindful Parenting in a Messy World.” Today, we sit down and chat a little about how to compassionately and mindfully connect to our children in the messy moments of life. 

Michelle is going to share with us today her practical, easy to use strategies to increase our awareness in the middle of our messy lives. Along the way, you’ll pick up a few memorable moments from our own adventures in parenting. All of Michelle’s wisdom comes with a healthy dose of compassion, so if you need a pick-me-up, this episode is for you. Take a breath. Let it out. And let’s begin with Mindfulness! 

More to learn in this episode: 

• Michelle shares how she teaches Mindfulness to everyone. 
• Why pausing and being Mindful brings power to your parenting.
• Let’s dispel some of the common myths of Mindfulness. 
• Learning to be present in any moment. Even the dull ones. 
• Michelle spills the beans on her new book. 
• How to cultivate self compassion. 
• How the S.T.O.P acronym can help you in the heated moments. 
• Practice Mindful Listening after school this week. 

Don’t forget to grab your copy of Michelle’s Book!

Mindful Parenting in a Messy World : 

https://www.michellegale.com/

I think now is the perfect moment to pause. Pause for a moment, and be thankful for your kids, your support team, and community. From that heart of gratitude, I want to offer comfort and assistance to those who have been in the midst of tragedy. My heart goes out to the victims of the Las Vegas shooting and their families. Locally, we are also experiencing some terrible forest fires that have left many people homeless. As I am reaching out to offer my aid, I am also reaching inward towards my kids.

With tragedy and insecurity in the back of my mind, I am especially grateful today for my conversation with my guest, Scott Noelle. Scott is a passionate parent coach who has built up an incredible model called “Path Parenting.” This parenting style focuses on a cooperative partnership with your child, and without the sense of authoritarian control. I think Scott has a vital perspective on parenting that is so essential while our world feels a little unsteady. When we learn the language of Path Parenting, we can remain more secure in our partnership with our children in what is definitely a tumultuous time. He emphasizes compassion, leadership, and trust above all else, and I think that is just the kind of message we need to hear today. You are going to learn so much from Scott today, so let’s begin!

More in this episode:

• Learn ways to filter through the noise and trust your parenting intuition.
• Scott’s own experiences with his parents informed and inspired his love of helping parents.
• We describe the collaborative dynamic between parents and children.
• Path Parenting applied through the development stages.
• Combating our control-obsessed culture.
• Leadership begins when the parent models behaviors and attitudes.
• How Trust Orientation can transform your relationship with your kids.

Resources:

Sign up for Scott’s Daily Groove newsletter for a little inspiration right to your inbox!

https://www.dailygroove.com/about

A Daily Groove Post Related to our talk:

https://www.dailygroove.com/terrible-not/

The Continuum Concept

http://www.continuum-concept.org/book.html

Welcome back, everyone! What a gift it is to see our Solo Parent Community grow and grow as we take this crazy journey together. I love that you have all been so honest with me about the triumphs and the struggles that you experience. Lately, I have been hearing from many solo parents that they struggle with feeling like they are never “good enough.” Being a single parent is tough and isolating. Our feelings of inadequacy can affect not just our self-esteem, but how we react towards our kids. Today, I want to talk a little bit about how to battle the “Not Enough” monster while also staying strong for our kiddos.

You’re tired. It’s the weight-of-the-world kind of tired. Sometimes, it feels like everything has been placed on your shoulders. How are you expected to carry that weight and pay the bills and raise healthy, bright kiddos? I’ve been there! I want to share with you how I learned to manage my unmet expectations, set boundaries, and talk through my own feelings of inadequacy. You are not alone in the journey! Reach out and let’s talk. The dishes can wait!

More in this episode:        

• Let’s pick apart the “I’m not Good Enough” Mentality.
• How to sort through your unmet expectations.
• Boundaries are a big deal! Tips from my family to yours for creating boundaries.
• I share the story of when my self-confidence took some hard knocks.
• Unlock the power of listening.
• Know when to slow down on your own and slow down with your kids.

 Links:

Join one of our Parent Coaching Groups

soloparentlife@gmail.com

School is back, and things are finally starting to settling in, aren’t they? As school routines, and all the busyness that comes with them, become the norm and not the exception, it is helpful to have a discussion about how we can help our family roll smoothly. Life gets busy during the school year, so how can you manage the chaos in a healthy way? I am excited to share the things that have been lifesavers for my family, with the hope to spread the love to yours!

It’s tempting to want to “wing it,” sometimes, but never underestimate the power of a good plan. I’ll share with you an outline or two for a morning routine that starts your day right. When the kids come home and want to crash, I’ll show you how having a meal plan in place can feed everyone’s bellies without breaking your bank. Finally, I am excited to share the ways that I’ve been making time to connect with my kids. Time is a precious thing, so let’s talk about ways to save your time and your sanity!

More tools for your school year:

• How you can maximize your morning routine while including your kids.
• Simple food prep tips for making school lunches a snap.
• Using your afternoon routine to manage chaos.
• Being aware of your child’s homework needs.
• The hidden power of a Meal Delivery Service.
• Ways you can make special time with your kids and connect with them.
• Questions to ask your kids to slow down in the moment.

Links:

How do you rock your morning routine? Reach out to let me know!

soloparentlife@gmail.com

Interested in Parent Coaching?

Soloparentlife.com/coaching

Welcome, everyone! It is such a good thing to have a community of support around you, and that is just what Solo Parent Life has become. Community support for a solo parent can mean the difference between giving up and growing strong during what can be a truly difficult season of parenthood. What makes this community even better is that it is inclusive of all types of solo parents, including single dads! I’m thankful that I can bring a single dad’s perspective to you today.

My guest is Robert Beeson, who hosts his own podcast for us solo folks, “Solo Parent Society.” Robert has a big heart and an even bigger idea of what having a community mindset is all about. After a divorce that left him the full-time caregiver of his three girls, Robert decided that he had an opportunity to get rooted in his identity, strengthen his faith, and come out of a season of hardship even stronger than before. Solo Parent Society was born out of a desire to create resources that single parents can use—free from judgment!

Through Solo Parent Society, Robert is taking the idea of community support group right to the people who need it most. He is right on the brink of launching Solo Parent Society material nationally, and I am excited that he gets the chance to be on the show. He adds so much value to our ongoing discussion about parenthood with vulnerability, passion, and a lot of inspiring personal growth. I hope you are ready because his passion is infectious.

• Robert shares why he created his podcast.
• Becoming a single parent can really strip away our identities.
• Single Parenthood can be life-changing in a positive way.
• The power of support groups for recovery.
• Finding a grounding point is key to finding yourself in the seasons of parenthood.
• There were not a lot of resources for single parents to build community, so Robert knew he needed to step in.
• There is value in telling our stories.
• Words of hope for those who might be struggling.
• How meditation and religious chanting has given Robert clarity.
• Have real conversations with your kids. Be present with them.
• How the Solo Parent Society has grown from a Nashville phenomenon and is growing nationally.

Links:

Check out the Beta Site for starting or finding a group near you.

Soloparentsociety.com

Don’t miss any of the Solo Parent Summit Interviews!

Soloparentlife.com/summit

Recently, I asked my community for topics that you most wanted me to cover on the show. You have spoken, and I have listened! So many of you in our Solo Parent Community have asked me about how to navigate Co-Parenting. How can we Co-Parent well, while also keeping myself sane? I hear you loud and clear, so today I am excited to bring my experiences and best tips right into your ears. The way I see it, there are two major issues at stake.

1. How can I deal with all the Big Feelings surrounding the separation?
2. How can I deal with Big Feelings surrounding my Ex-Partner?

The bottom line to remember is that we are doing this for our kids. How we respond to our Big Feelings will inadvertently give our children a way to manage their own. We want our kids to grow up feeling loved and supported by everyone, including our Ex and any new partners. I know how difficult and isolating it can be to Co-Parent on your own. With that in mind, I want to welcome you to a place of acceptance where your Big Feelings are acknowledged and supported. I appreciate you letting me into your ears today! Happy listening! 

Also in the show:

• Ways that you can change your perspective about your Ex-Partner.
• Communication tools that you can use.
• A discussion of the Big Feelings that we tend to have when Co-Parenting.
• It’s all for the kids! How can you refocus to put them first.
• Tips for In-The-Moment Anger Checks.
• Text and Email communication tools for writing back to your Ex
• Healthy ways to handle your hurts.
• What to do when they bring up your Ex’s new partner.”
• For extra support in Co-Parenting, reach out to our Solo Parent Community!

Feel free to reach out with Questions and Comments about the Podcast!

soloparentlife@gmail.com

Parent Coaching is still available.

http://soloparentlife.com/parent-coaching/

Welcome back to another moment to join together with the Solo Parent Community. We’ve had some exciting times in my household with the addition of our new family dog, Marley! Having a new family member has been such a welcome change and a breath of fresh air. It’s a little bit like self-care for me since having Marley around is such a positive experience. We talk all the time on the show about the importance of taking care of yourself, so it is great to find a new way of putting that into practice.

My guest this week is Karrie Myers Taylor, and she certainly knows a thing or two about self-care too! I am excited to share this interview with you not just because her healthy tips are superb for busy solo parents, but she was also interviewed for the Single Parent Summit happening this month! Karrie focuses on a holistic approach to health and wellness and really puts the focus on why you are eating the foods you eat. Healthy changes can begin today, and I know you will be inspired to start by what Karrie has to say. Go ahead and give it a listen! Karrie battled with perfectionism and its impact on her mental and physical health.

• After struggling with her weight, Karrie shares why she used food for a buffer.
• Quick healthy eating habits that you can use today!
• The emotional side of eating can be positive.
• How to detox from sugar and caffeine with easy swaps.
• Karrie speaks to how she can help with the anxiety associated with changing health habits.
• Getting the kids to buy into healthy eating.
• Ongoing support can lead to a breakthrough.

There is still time to sign up for the Single Parent Summit

http://soloparentlife.com/summit/

Let’s talk money! You might hear that and get excited, or you might hear that and start to groan. Money can be a source of both security and anxiety. Which is it for you? Have you ever had a time when an unexpected expense pops up? You know the kind—big birthday gifts, replacing those heavy (and expensive!) winter coats, or a once and a lifetime opportunity to do something you’ve always wanted to do. How did you handle those expenses? Did your budget last? OK, how about this question: do you have a budget?

If your mind is already swirling, take a pause and rest assured that my guest this week is about to make your money madness so much better. Today, I am talking with Jen Hemphill, host of the “Her Money Matters” podcast. I love Jen’s podcast, and it has really helped me keep an eye on my finances without driving me crazy in the process. She has tons of tips and resources to get us through those unexpected expenses. I am excited that she gets to share with you today!

Also in this episode:

• Jen shares her own experiences as a Solo Parent as a Military Wife.
• The inspiration behind the “Her Money Matters” Podcast.
• Tips and tricks for the coupon-leery
• Budget mistakes we all tend to make.
• Tackling unexpected expenses with practical, monthly steps.
• Planning for life with a single income.
• Focus on what you can control

Resources

Get caught up on the “Her Money Matters” Podcast and seek out Coaching and Community:

http://jenhemphill.com

Hello and welcome to another special and encouraging episode of Solo Parent Life. Today, my very informative guest is Melissa DaSilva, an LGTBQ+ community activist, and therapist. Melissa’s mission is to support parents and children as they navigate LGBTQ+ issues, and educate the public in the middle of a rapidly changing world. We know more about gender identity and sexuality than we ever have before. So how can we as single parents educate our children and teach them to respect everyone regardless of gender and sexual orientation?

I am thankful that Melissa took the time to educate me in my limited experience with the LGTBQ+ community, and I know that each one of you will take away something encouraging and inspiring from our talk. As parents, we have the exciting privilege of teaching our children respect and love. Let’s let that love grow today!   

Also in this episode:

• Learning the letters of the LGBTQ+ community.
• Navigating gender issues early in life.
• Kids accept transition better than we think!
• Melissa’s best advice for parents seeking to teach about LGBTQ+ issues.
• How do we have good conversations about sexuality?
• Talk through the difference between what you know in the mind and the heart.
• Join in with a local group like P Flag!

Links:

Pride Connections Podcast: https://prideconnections.com/podcast/

Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook @PrideConnections

Welcome, everyone! I am so excited to share with you today the pearls of wisdom from fellow podcaster Dr. Robert Puff. Dr. Puff runs the show over at The Happiness Podcast, where he shows you just how easy it is to be happy. This is a show I listen to, and it certainly feeds my positivity as I navigate single parenting.

Robert believes that everyone can be happy, and there are easy, practical steps that we can take as single parents to make that happen. Today’s show is filled to the brim with easy ways to start taking care of ourselves. When our cup runs over, we can better teach and grow our children to mirror that positivity. Single parenting definitely isn’t easy, and I am thankful for Robert’s unique insight into a happier life. I certainly cherish his words, and I know they will make your day just a little bit brighter.

More in this episode:

• Getting a happy life is like staying in shape—you have to work at it.
• We have to model healthy behavior for our kids.
• Treating ourselves well when life changes.
• Starting your day with a healthy mindset.
• The power of the “Pause.”
• Learning to ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?”
• The skills the bring into parenting through our community.
• Channeling awareness with your current situation so you can increase the quality of your time.
• Practical tips for “filling your cup” straight from Dr. Puff.

To connect with Dr. Robert Puff and Listen to his Podcast http://www.happinesspodcast.org/

Today, I am delighted to sit down with Elizabeth Salin, MFT and Ruth Jaeger, LCSW two therapists in my local community that have worked for many years with families in transition. They created a program for parents going through a divorce that teaches mindfulness skills to help reduce stress, anxiety and self-critical thoughts.

I am so amazed by the support and love that Liz and Ruth provide and the wealth of knowledge between them about families going through a divorce is incredible.  I can’t wait for you to hear all the wisdom these ladies have to share with you today. Enjoy!

• Liz’s experience working with kids and families. 
• Ruth’s passion for supporting families through mindfulness. 
• Exploring the ways that a Mindfulness practice can fortify your relationship between you and your children. 
• What is R.A.I.N? Can it help you during the inevitable overwhelming moments? 
• Tools you can use to practice mindfulness, both formal and informal.
• Self-care you can begin today. 
• Offering a place of support for parents so they don’t feel alone, but empowered. 

Our Featured Poem today is “Love After Love” by Derek Walcott:

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Check out Regaining Balance for Parents for mindfulness resources.

http://www.regainingbalanceforparents.com/

Hello, everyone! This week, I wanted to pause a moment to speak to you all directly about this wonderful (and sometimes exhausting) summer season. Summertime is filled with so many wonderful opportunities for our kiddos, including the ubiquitous summer camp. Camps are fabulous: they help our children socialize, they encourage them to spend time outside, and they provide a creative outlet to fill the long summer hours. But when our kids have been “on” all day, inevitably they are going to melt down. We’re talking tantrums, tears, and too many biting words. So what do we do when the meltdowns happen? How can we support our kids in love without losing our sanity?

It turns out that it is all about connection. Dealing with meltdowns is not easy, but it would be harder to try to stifle those feelings. Anticipate that this summer, your post-camp kiddos will quite possibly be a big, hot mess. Here is your opportunity to slow your life down during the tantrums to be there and listen. Let your kids express some of that exhaustion and frustration. I promise it will be well worth your time and busted eardrums!

Show Highlights:

• Summer camps and the inevitable end-of-camp meltdown.
• Normalizing the melt-down moments.
• A summer camp case study with Sofia.
• Creating space for our kids to express themselves.
• Anticipating the meltdowns as school begins and camp ends.

Interested in joining a listening group or parent coaching? Feel free to reach out to me!

soloparentlife@gmail.com

Life can really get you down, can’t it? As a Solo Parent, there are already so many limitations that seem like they are well beyond our control. We all sometimes feel alone, scattered, or misunderstood. No one could possibly know what I’m going through, right? Well…maybe not. This week, I am happy to share the story of one Mom who wasn’t content to let limitations be her master.

Sara Dean is a Seattle-based podcaster and gym owner. She runs the show at Shameless Mom Academy, a podcast all about sharing stories of parenthood in full honesty. Sara says that her podcast was born out of the struggles of parenthood, and she knew that if she shared how she beat her own limits, you and I might walk away with our heads a little higher. Our stories, our struggles, and our triumphs shape who we are, and transformation begins when we share them. I am consistently being inspired by Sara’s vulnerability, and I know you will be too.

What limits are you holding on to? Let them go today!

Also in this episode:

• Sara created a business based around her motherhood, but it didn’t look like she thought it would!
• Created a podcast to inspire and transform conversations with other women.
• Sara’s steps towards “shamelessness.”
• Learning from the power of our stories.
• Be inspired by Sara’s challenging IVF journey.
• Find spaces who know you and can listen to what you are going through.
• Discover the Adaptive App for personal wellness and self-care.
• Daily routines for cultivating peace.
• Sara’s favourite personal development books.

Links

Work with Sara through her website:

http://shamelessmom.com/

Hey there Solo Parents! This week is all about dating, with a fairly heavy emphasis on women and how they navigate relationships. For all our male listeners, we need your feedback too! There are tidbits of wisdom for everyone in this episode, and what a fun topic too. Dating, for better or for worse, is an exhilarating, complicated task. To help us out we sat down with Nichole DiRocco, a dating and life coach with an eye towards the kinds of struggles single parents will inevitably face once they step out into dating.

            Once she started coaching, Nicole noticed that women in leadership positions, while seeing success in the working world, had a much more difficult time in the dating realm. The same could be said for a Solo Parent. As Nichole says, we are essentially the “CEO of our lives.” Used to initiating, taking charge, and setting terms, it can be difficult for a single mom to sit back and be pursued… Not to mention all the other vulnerabilities and anxieties we go through waiting for the phone to ring!

            So how do we do it? How do we date with grace and respect towards ourselves and our unique stage of life? Check out this episode to see!

• Nicole’s real world inspiration to form Dating With Grace.
• Nicole discusses the biggest setback for “Alpha Females” in the dating world.
• Initiating and taking charge in relationships.
• Learning to say “Thank you,” without initiating. Receive his pursuit.
• Self-care to combat the anxiousness within vulnerable moments.
• Character, consistency, and communication.
• What is the love-bomber? Nicole spills all the details!
• Technology has changed the dating game. Save getting-to-know-you for in-person!

Links

Nicole DiRocco, ACC                                                                

Dating and Relationship Coach for Executive Women

Visit:  Dating With Grace.me

Follow:Twitter Facebook, LinkedIn

This week, let’s sit down and do something a little different. I really wanted to share a co-parenting success story that is very near and dear to my heart. Kat was our beloved babysitter, and her parents divorced when she was young. If two parents managed to handle divorce the “right” way, it was Sandra and her husband.

I have Kat and Sandra on the show this week, and together they tell the story of their family, just so we can all gain a little perspective. Sure, their family may look a little different than what they had hoped it would be, but with sacrifice and intrepid spirits, their family still had two supportive parents doing everything in their power to be present with their children. Just like it takes work to make a marriage, it takes work to make a divorce too! I think Sandra’s courage and compassion is so inspiring, so join us this week to see how.

Also in this episode:

• Learn from a divorce done “right.”
• Learn from a divorce done “right.” The importance of a support system, even from the grandparents!
• The importance of a support system, even from the grandparents! Family dynamics, cultural influences, and parental accountability during the divorce process.
• Family dynamics, cultural influences, and parental accountability during the divorce process.
• Being resolved to bite their tongue and make things work for the kids.
• Letting go of the things we can’t change.
• Showing compassion and kindness in co-parenting.
• Keep regrouping! Work through the tough spots and grow together.

One of the best things about this podcast is that we have such a fabulous community. I am thankful for all the comments and questions, and so this week I wanted to change the pace just a bit and tackle one such questions I’m seeing more and more often: How can I take care of myself while my children are away?

Ah, yes. Times of separation from our kids can be painful, uncertain, and difficult to manage. When we spend so much of our time and energy making sure our children are happy, healthy, and cared for, it can be jarring to not have those concerns 24/7. What can we do to take care of ourselves when we have this time? I want to show you in this episode that time away from your kids can be a gift in disguise. I’ll share some of my best ideas, and I hope to hear your self-care ideas in return. Together, we can do this thing!

Want even more cools ways to get involved? Sign up for the Solo Parent Newsletter, and find all the information about the Single Parent Summit coming up soon!   

In this episode:

• What are we doing for ourselves when our children are away?
• Understanding and working through the grieving process.
• Not just dealing with loneliness, but embracing it.
• Healthy habits you can use to work through childless times.
• How to handle anxiety when your kids are away.
• My suggestions for re-filling your bucket.
• Plan something to look forward to.

Books I love

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brock

True Refuge by Tara Brock

Links

Join the Newsletter on my Website!

http://soloparentlife.com/

When a marriage ends, the effects are far-reaching—from the emotional, psychological, logistical…and financial. I’m sure for so many of us, the last thing on our minds when we begin our Solo Parent journey is our finances. Eventually, the bills start rolling in, and we have to look at the bank statements up close. Houses get sold, finances that were once shared are no longer in a joint bank account. Who can you turn to when you start swimming in dollar signs?

Enter Shawn Leamon, host of the “Divorce and Your Money” Podcast. Shawn is a Financial Planner and guru who is passionate about being there for folks who are living through a difficult time. Separation and singlehood can bring us many complications, so Shawn is here to help. Let Shawn’s experience and savvy be your guide in this info-packed episode of “Solo Parent Life.”

• Shawn shares his first suggestions for post-divorce financial decisions.
• Putting your finances in perspective with the long-term.
• Hear Shawn’s three major goals for your finances.
• When it comes to reaching your goals, start somewhere and start small.
• Discussing the differences between the types of financial planners and advisors.
• Removing the fear out of finding a financial planner.
• The Big Question you need to know before choosing a financial planner.
• What is this crazy word “Fiduciary” and how can it impact your future finances?
• Interviewing as a free education process for the world of finance.
• Common money management practices. Get informed now!
• Preparing for all live events, both big and small.
• Start investing today with “Robo-advisors.”

Links

Find all of Shawn’s episodes and advice at

https://www.divorceandyourmoney.com/show/

Once you embark on the Solo Parent Life, there’s a period we all experience when we have to start making some mental shifts. Life as we understood it is changing. As daunting of a task as that might seem, it is also an opportunity to re-define your family. It is a chance to dive right into something new and better than before. That is just what Theresé Connolly did.

Theresé is a Mother to one boy and champion of Parents and Families who are ready to grow and develop healthy mindset habits together. Theresé was divorced shortly after relocating, and she found herself alone in a new place. Instead of letting life roll over her, Theresé decided to jump into her community through her son’s school and workshops. Now, Theresé is beginning a new journey as a Parenting and Life Coach. Ready to see how she did it all? Listen and find out!

• Theresé shares how she is refocusing her career post-divorce by shifting her focus from therapy to coaching.
• The challenges we face when co-parenting.
• Theresé shows how we can dive into our community and open ourselves up to ease the transition into the Solo Parent Life.
• Obstacles to co-parenting can be overcome through a strong community support.
• How our personal growth impacts what we can give off and support in others.
• Learning to be present by creating rituals about how we are in our home.
• What is a “Rose” and how can it help with bedtime? Theresé shares this simple technique.
• Learn a mindset of starting the day with gratitude.
• Parent Coaching and Life Coaching can create a sense of value and foundation.
• Create a Family Mission Statement to enhance your values.

Links

http://www.mindfulkidsandfamilies.com/

The school is ending, and change feels imminent. For a single parent, these times can be both amazing and lovely, but difficult and trying at the same time. Given that season's ebb and flow with the times, it is important to take time to pause and give gratitude for all the wonderful things we have in our lives. When you are living the Solo Parent Life, nothing could be of more importance than a community of good people to support and care for you. When that community reaches back out, well that’s just icing on the gratitude cake.

Amy Rice Jones reached out on a local single parenting group with how much the podcast has impacted her life. Her journey is inspiring and ongoing, and the kind of story worth sharing. Amy teaches us how to be present. Be present with your kids; be present with yourself. Join In with the big story this week, and take heart for this season of change and transition.

 Show Highlights:

• The leaps of faith towards living with another single family, and the support that it has given along the way.
• Struggling to leave a career in order to support her family.
• Changes in how we interact with our kids and becoming “present” with them.
• The importance of self-care as a single mom: daily meditation, guided imagery, and moment by moment mindfulness.
• The value of Life Coaching, therapy, and exploring courses on wellness to help balance your life in single parenthood.
• The trickle down effect of mindfulness towards your children.
• Teaching children to feel the full range of emotions.
• The importance of connecting with a broader community by joining groups on Facebook.

Are you struggling to figure out how to work your finances so that you can build a really solid financial future for yourself and your children? If so, you will really benefit from listening to today's show, with Tanya Steinhoff, a Financial Advisor and also a local mom!  Listen in, as Tanya helps you understand how to take ownership of your financial life.

It can be really hard to make the right decisions about money, over time, as the children get older and things evolve and change. Tanya works with young families and also with single mothers after their divorce, helping them to understand their money and budget. She shows them a good way of thinking about how to budget and helps them to move forward with the different phases that everybody seems to go through, in their journey towards retirement. Listen in today, as Tanya talks about some things that would be helpful to you, as single parents and offers you a great number of resources and books to read, to build a good, solid financial future.

Show Highlights:

• Tanya talks about her background and about what she focuses on, in her business.
• How Tanya actually helps people and the services that she provides.
• The importance for newly divorced women to understand that they need to take responsibility for their finances.
• Great books to read to help adults and even kids understand more about finances and investments.
• Why Tanya really believes in educating people about their money.
• How Tanya helps to get her clients get up to speed on budgeting and cash flow.
• That some people struggle to come to terms with a new lifestyle, after a divorce.
• Not talking to your kids about money, or your financial limitations will eventually do them more harm than good.
• You really need to understand and move beyond the baggage that you carry from childhood, around money issues. 
• Tanya's ongoing assistance for her clients
• Tanya's focus on her client's human capital, and it's real worth to them in their career, or to make money.
• Why you need to have an Emergency Cushion and how to create one.
• Some great tips for investing.

Links:

Tanya's website: www.redwoodgrovewm.com

Tanya can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin.

Books: Prince Charming Isn't Coming by Barbara Stanner

           The Elements Of Investing by Burton Malkiel and Charles D. Ellis

           Raising Financially Fit Kids by Joline Godfrey

Do you feel like your lawyer can give you the best financial advice during your divorce? Today’s guest thought so too and ended up making some very costly mistakes. Her mistakes motivated her to become a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst so that she can help others avoid the mistakes she made.

Melanie Johnson lives in Austin, TX and her firm specializes in helping people who are going through divorce sort out their finances and plan for their financial future. Clients may be trying to figure out how they are going to survive with reduced income or may be trying to figure out how to pay for college and other aspects of their children’s lives. Melanie specializes in making sure you are covered financially in every aspect of your divorce. She uses the facts and the numbers to show you the real cost of decisions, so you can make the best ones for you and your children!

Show highlights:

• Melanie can enter the picture at any point in the divorce process.
• With divorce, you get one chance to get your finances right before the papers are signed.
• Even though your divorce attorney is working for you, they don’t have the best answers about your money, so you need additional expertise on your side.
• Why you want to look for a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst to help you through the divorce, rather than just a Certified Financial Planner.
• Examples of assets that are commonly forgotten in a divorce and how they are valued.
• One consideration of home value in a divorce that is often overlooked and could be very costly. You want to be prepared for changes in the real estate market!
• Even if you pay the bills in your relationship, you may not have a complete picture of your financial assets. There could be 401K’s, IRA’s, Health Savings accounts or other assets you have no idea exist.
• Things you need to be aware of when considering the cost of staying in your home for the sake of your children. You don’t want to miscalculate and end up squandering your retirement nest egg just to stay afloat.
• Kids can always get a loan for college, but you can’t get a loan for retirement. Don’t sacrifice your retirement for your child’s college education if you can’t afford to!
• Documenting post-divorce expenses before you sign off on the divorce papers, it almost always helps the situation.

Resources:

Melanie’s Website - www.divorce-financial-solutions.com
Second Saturday Divorce Seminars - austindivorceworkshops.com or secondsaturday.com

Have you ever felt like you are a bad parent? Maybe you’ve felt this way because your child is having a meltdown in the store and you just won’t give them what they want. There are lots of other situations on a daily basis that can test our limits as a parent. Today’s show will offer some alternative methods to help your child through these moments of discomfort, in a way that will make it easier for you to parent in the long term.

Today’s guest is Taylor Ross. Taylor is a local parent consultant and I wanted her to come on the show today and talk about her role in consulting with parents and what she does to help parents stay connected to their children. She’s specifically talking about how to deal with those uncomfortable moments as a parent. 

Taylor has a passion around having relationships that build connection and trust and parenting is her specialty. She helps in a variety of situations, such as behavioral issues or family dynamics.  She offers guidance and support to parents struggling to find a connection with their child when they are struggling with difficult emotions.  She helps families build a more connected and loving relationship between the parent and child.  

Show Highlights:

• Ways parents can take care of themselves and connect when their child is having strong feelings
• Ways you can teach your kids how to have a healthy relationship with disappointments.
• It is important to be able to give yourself an “out” when you aren’t prepared to parent compassionately in the moment.
• Just because we hold a boundary, doesn’t mean we can’t be empathetically connected with our child in the moment.
• The uncomfortable moments in parenting are opportunities to connect and deepen our parent/child relationships.
• Ways to be kind to yourself and engage in self-care.

Connect with Taylor:

thepracticeofparenting.com

taylor@thepracticeofparenting.com

My guest today is Jax Anderson, of Psykotherapist.com. We are in a Facebook group for therapists together that focuses primarily on marketing, especially through videos. Jax’s work is primarily with teens, and she’s created some cool videos about how to talk to your teen, along with other helpful resources for parents, teachers, and counselors. Two topics that Jax is passionate about are helping 8th graders transition to their high school years, and how to manage a bullying situation. Join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• About Jax: she’s a Scorpio from Wisconsin who started her private practice in 2014, and she fell into work with teenagers in the second phase of her counseling career, after a short stint in law enforcement
• The difference “being real” makes with teenagers
• How we give teens a safe place to be themselves: Be congruent
• The “adults-in-training” perspective
• Preparing teens for high school: The worksheets and topics in Jax’s summer series
• Why repetition is CRUCIAL for teens
• The biggest topics for teens entering high school:
  • Making/maintaining friends
  • Managing a bully
  • Communication
  • Confidence
• The value of role-playing and modeling
• How to deal with bullies: don’t ignore them, use sarcasm, and don’t stay and engage them
• Learn the best responses to a bully
• What a bully wants: to feel superior

Resources:

www.psykotherapist.com (Visit Jax’s online store, watch videos, and check out her blog!)

Does your teenager have anxiety? Being a teenager is hard enough, but add to that peer pressure, social media, school testing and relationships, and it’s no wonder that many of today’s teens are facing a very real battle with anxiety. 

If you'd like to learn how to become a pillar of support to your teenagers, to help them through this really challenging time in their lives, listen in to today's show, and find out from Robbin's guest Lorraine Platt, who is with Teen Solutions.

Lorraine and her husband, Richard do some really good work with teen girls and boys and their parents. Today, Lorraine, who is both compassionate and a wealth of knowledge, talks about the hot topic of teens and anxiety. Listen in now and find out how you can really support teens, with all that they have coming to them.

Today, Lorraine talks to Robbin about:

•The high levels of stress for teens today.

•Where she becomes concerned about the stress turning into worry.

•What she sees coming up with teens who are battling with stress.

•The most important message that you can give to your child: You're enough and I love you exactly as you are.

•The need for boundaries with parents and teens, to create a sense of safety.

•The need to rest and integrate and recover from the necessary stress.

•The importance of healthy downtime in teen's lives.

•That boredom has value in stimulating creativity.

•A good boundary to use- taking away your teen's cellphone at night.

•That it's never too late to create boundaries with teens.

•How important it is for your teen to feel connected to you and supported, if they're experiencing anxiety.

• Finding balance, to relieve anxiety.

•Creating the space for your teen to hang out with you... and not with their cellphone.

•Ways that teens tend to try to have control and slow things down in their lives.

•Why teens tend to resist so much.

•That the expectations placed on teens today are higher today than they were in the '70's and '80's.

•Ways that you can begin to connect meaningfully with your teenager.

Links:

For Robbin's Infographic, go to: www.soloparentlife.com 

For Lorraine's blog, go to: www.teensolutionstherapy.com

My guest today is Cindy Witteman, from San Antonio, Texas. She’s a former single mom of three girls who has created a non-profit called Driving Single Parents, Inc. She finds and donates a car, with the license, tax, and title paid, to a needy single parent. Single parents often find it difficult to secure resources and support, but Cindy’s inspiring story shows what can happen with a heart to give back and help others. Join me for Cindy’s story!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• How the non-profit grew from her personal experience with single parenthood and the need for transportation
• How Cindy finds and chooses the single parents
• The qualifications for recipients: A valid Texas driver’s license, car insurance, and a single parent
• How Cindy hopes to expand the program and gain more funding
• The first recipient, John, who lost his wife and his leg in an accident
• Why single parents often feel alone and without help
• How this program can be duplicated in other communities
• Cindy’s first idea of providing child care for single parents, and why that didn’t work
• How the idea of providing vehicles came about
• The situation when walking, biking, and public transportation are simply NOT options
• How to make donations to help
• Being a single parent: when people stop answering your phone calls

Resources:

www.drivingsingleparents.com

Email Cindy: drivingsingleparents@yahoo.com

Call Cindy: 210-251-5666

Donate to Driving Single Parents here!

My guest today is Laura Harrison, owner of Less Mess, More Life. Laura has helped make some awesome changes to my home and helped me be motivated to purge things that needed to GO. I’ve gotten organized and transformed our family room. My kids were excited and amazed when they saw the house less cluttered and more functional. Do you want to find inspiration and tips on letting go of all those toys, clothes and extra stuff? Laura has nuggets of wisdom to help you! Join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• How Laura went from corporate event planning to using her innate skill in organization
• Why Laura loves empowering people to make changes and live an organized life with LESS
• Why taking control brings benefits
• Organized house=calmer mindset
• Getting organized doesn’t mean spending a fortune!
• How Laura helps clients
• How to deal with family heirlooms
• Laura’s process: the walkthrough and the playbook
• The #1 excuse people use? “I don’t have time!”
• Getting started and staying focused
• Why you should start with the linen closet
• Tips if you’re ready to dive in:
• • Put “donate” bags in every room
  • Walk through and see what needs to be purged
  • Let things go!
• The emotional attachment to THINGS (and the actual grief in letting them go)
• Why minimalism can be a scary word

Resources:

www.lessmessmorelife.com

Find Laura on Facebook and Instagram, too!

If you enjoyed learning about the Hand In Hand approach to connecting with your children and you would like to know more, you will really gain a lot from today's show, with Robin Setchko as guest. Robin was the leader of the Hand In Hand Intensive Group, which was featured in episode 23 of this show (Parenting Through Connection www.soloparentlife.com/23). Listen in today, as she talks to Robbin about her work with Hand In Hand and how it's helped her, both as a professional and as a  parent.

Robin, who lives in Northern California, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and she's also the parent of two young adults, a twenty-five year old daughter and a twenty-two year old son. She works a lot with parents and also with individuals. More and more of her work has moved towards working with parents, as she's found that raising children and wanting the best for them has shown to be a really effective way to bring things up in parents, that need to be worked on. Listen in today and find out more about how you can move closer to your children, as you move things out of the way.

Today, Robin and Robbin discuss:

• That Robbin finds the Hand In Hand way of helping people learn how to coach others through first doing it themselves in their own lives, to be really powerful.
• How long Robin has been a Hand In Hand instructor and how she first got involved with it.
• That there is the sense with parents that they need to do something, yet it's not that, it's about really listening.
• That often, just your presence with your children is enough.
• Robin explains what is meant by processing emotions.
• How people recover through the proper processing of emotions.
• How children grow, neurologically through this process and how this forms the foundation for good relationships later on in life.
• The unique and transformative effect of the deep and warm support that Robin received from other parents with Hand In Hand and how it impacted on so many other areas in her life.
• What the Stay Listening concept looks like.
• How being heard helps you to think better.
• That all parents really do tend to relate to each other in a profound way.
• How Robin has seen this process work with the families that she works with.
• The parallel process that parents go through while raising their children.
• The relief of just 'saying it as it is' and not having to put a good spin on things.
• The passionate journey of loving your children.
• What Robin says to parents who think that this approach will indulge their children's inappropriate behavior.
• The more often that your children can recover, in your presence, the less likely they will be to behave inappropriately.
• How children learn, through this process, that they can trust that you will help them.
• The role of faith in this process.
• That, through this process, children eventually come to know that they're heading for a meltdown and will then look to 'offload' to you, or to someone safe.

Links:

Robin's email: rsetchko@sonic.net

Robbin's email: soloparentlife@gmail.com  - To join Robbin's upcoming Parent Group, put 'Parent Group' in the subject line and email her.

If you would like to find a new and effective way to really connect with your children, you will gain a lot from Robbin's guest on today's show, Patty Wipfler. Listen in today, to find out about Patty's loving way of listening.

Warm and compassionate Patty, who has worked with thousands of families over many years,  is the author of the book Listen, which offers some groundbreaking tools for parents, to help to strengthen their connection with their children and to build their children's intelligence, cooperation and their ability to learn. Join Robbin and Patty today to get some really great listening tools and learn how to address the root cause of your child's difficult behavior. 

Today, Patty talks to Robbin about:

• Her childhood and how it lead her to believe that she was going to become a great mom.
• How she came to realize that she was in trouble as a mom.
• How her emotional dam burst when someone really listened to her, which lead to her joining a Listening Class.
• The Listening Classes and how they evolved to listening to children.
• The emotional support that parents need, in order to be good and loving parents.
• How children's confidence erodes when their parents don't get emotional support.
• How she really understands from her own experience, just how isolating life can be for single parents.
• How having your own tantrums can help you to pay warm attention to a child doing the same.
• How to support someone with real care.
• How warm support can really help to heal the hurts of parents.
• Special Time, another simple and powerful listening tool that really enhances the connection of parents with their children.
• Laughter, a really great medicine for parents and children.
• The benefits of having a regular practice of connecting with your child.
• Ways to get your kids back into their right mind.

Links:

Patty's website: www.handinhandparenting.org

If you're a parent going through a difficult transition in your life and you could really use some support, listen in to today's show, with Robbin's guest, Tricia Wiig, and find out how she assists mothers through her faith-based support.

Tricia is the Director of Children and Family Ministries at United Methodist in New Valley and she also runs a faith-based support group for mothers. She has a wonderful way of talking to people about how to move through different life transitions and how to tap in, incorporate and thrive around their faith. Today she talks to Robbin about faith and about remembering how important it really is to have faith to ground you, when you're going through transitions in life- even that of becoming a parent. Listen in to find out more.

Today, Tricia talks to Robbin about:

• Her Grace Within Support Group for mothers- how it works and what it has to offer.
• How she helps people to remember their faith when they're going through a difficult time, with songs and stories.
• Using Godly Play, a Sunday School Curriculum and a model for worship to help children and parents.
• Tricia shares some sacred stories that she finds to be really meaningful and uses to help children.
• Remembering that your faith is always with you, no matter how difficult the situation may be.
• That there is no one way to find your faith, so it's important to remain open and remember that there are many things that can give you insight.
• Tricia shares one of the questions that she asks the people in her group, to help them build their self-respect and self-esteem.
• Asking yourself questions as a way to open yourself up to new possibilities.

Are you co-parenting with someone who you suspect to be a narcissist? If you would like to find out if this is actually so and what you can do in that case,  listen in to today's show, with Robbin's expert guest, Wendy Behary, who has a really deep understanding of narcissism, having worked with narcissists for more than twenty-five years and find out how to deal with the situation. 

Wendy, who has a private practice in Springfield, New Jersey, is the author of the book Disarming The Narcissist- Surviving and Thriving With The Self-Absorbed. As a trained psychotherapist, she spends most of her time educating the general public and other clinicians around the world about how to work with the very challenging narcissistic client. She also teaches people how to deal with narcissism in their lives. Wendy stumbled on this as her specialty, through her curiosity about her own reactions in the treatment room, when she was confronted with narcissists. She found herself reacting as she would have as a little girl - caving in and apologizing, rather than responding as an adult therapist. This was a start to her adventure of learning and teaching about narcissism. Listen in today and to find out more about how to handle the narcissistic behavior of a co-parent and set yourself free from the associated drama.

Today, Wendy and Robbin discuss:

• How to identify someone who is narcissistic.
• Gaslighting- What that means.
• The impact that narcissists tend to have on those who are close to them.
• The difficulty of raising children within a narcissistic relationship.
• Wendy's advice for single parents who are raising children with a narcissistic co-parent.
• The use of empathic confrontation when dealing with a narcissist.
• How understanding narcissism helps you to deal with narcissistic people.
• What empathic confrontation looks like.
• Why many people tend to avoid confrontation.
• That the motivational driver is not to change the narcissist, but rather to change yourself in your responses to them.
• How you can help your kids to deal with a narcissistic parent.
• How you can model for your kids by empathizing with their situation.

Links: 

Wendy's website: www.disarmingthenarcissist.com

My guest today is Anya Manes, whose work I’ve followed for a while. She educates parents about talking to their kids about sex, holding workshops and webinars especially for parents of tweens. After dealing with awkwardness and strife in her family surrounding sex, she became a high school biology teacher and realized the need. She explains practically how to handle these difficult topics with your child, and why you shouldn’t wait until the middle school years to have these discussions!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• The norm: a scary, powerful view of sex
• Anya’s years as a high school biology teacher
• Why she left teaching to pursue motherhood and supporting parents in sex education
• Advice to parents about creating a safe space
• Communicating the rules and boundaries about physical bodies
• Anya’s book recommendations for parents
• The “Answering Questions BRAVELY Formula”
• • B--Take a deep breath
  • R--Recognize and affirm your child
  • A—Ask why they are asking
  • V—Investigate further
  • E—Evaluate your circumstances
  • L—Give the lowdown, but follow the two-sentence rule
  • Y—Your values
• Anya’s free interview series

Resources:

www.talkingaboutsex.com

www.talktokidsaboutsexseries.com  (Anya’s resources)

Sex is a Funny Word by Cory Silverberg

Would you like to know more about the concept of temperament and how it can give you a clearer picture of who you are? Or would you simply like to be able to appreciate others more than you do now? If this rings true for you, listen in today and find out as Stacey Horn, the guest on today's show, spells it out.

Stacey is an ever-evolving social worker, who specializes in relationships. She has been working as a therapist in Aspen, Colorado for the last twenty-five years and now also works with people online. Stacey, who is passionate about the concept of temperament (or personality), has recently been doing a lot of coaching, which she sees as an educational process. She works mainly with families and couples who are no longer together. Listen in and find out more about temperament and how it makes sense out of relationships.

Today, Stacey talks to Robbin about:

• How her understanding of temperament helps her in her work with parents.
• How she first became interested in the concept of temperament.
• How personality relates to temperament.
• Why she likes Ray Lincoln's model of Innerkinetics.
• The four types of temperaments.
• A story of how she and her husband have shifted in dealing with their daughter, who has a different temperament type.
• The gift of no longer taking things personally.
• How to manage time management issues more effectively.
• How Stacey meets with her husband, who is a different type of temperament, through this method.
• The new awareness, which re-frames entire relationships, that can be found through this method.

Links: 

Stacey's website: www.staceyhorn.com

Stacey's phone no. 970 616 44 01

Stacey's Podcast: The Deeper Connections Podcast (Soon to be launched)

Robbin's website: www.soloparentlife.com

Resources:

Books: I May Frustrate You, But I'm a Keeper by Ray W. Lincoln

           I'm Still A Keeper by Ray W. Lincoln

           Innerkinetics by Ray W. Lincoln

If you would love to really connect with your kids on a deeper level, but you're battling to keep your head above water with the daily demands of life as a single mom or dad, listen in today and find out how you can adopt a new and more effective approach to parenting.

Today's guest, Julie King is co-author of the book How To Talk So Your Little Kids Will Listen. After completing Law School and having had her first child, Julie became aware of how people were talking to their children and realized that most people knew nothing of the approach to child rearing that she, herself had been raised with. When her daughter was in pre-school and Julie was studying Group Facilitation and Group Development, she offered to read a workshop-style book on child rearing to a parent group at the school. Due to the demand from the parents attending this group, it continued way beyond the initial eight week period and eventually turned into an ongoing support group for the next four and a half years! Other people heard about it, so Julie was asked to facilitate other groups and this is how Julie found herself involved with something fantastic, that she had not planned on doing. Listen in and find out how Julie conferred with her old friend Joanna Faber, who was doing similar work on the East Coast and how they ended up writing a book together. You're going to find this conversation really helpful!

Due to the demand from the parents attending this group, it continued way beyond the initial eight week period and eventually turned into an ongoing support group for the next four and a half years! Other people heard about it, so Julie was asked to facilitate other groups and this is how Julie found herself involved with something fantastic, that she had not planned on doing. Listen in and find out how Julie conferred with her old friend Joanna Faber, who was doing similar work on the East Coast and how they ended up writing a book together. You're going to find this conversation really helpful!

Today, Julie talks to Robbin about:

• How Julie grew up with Joanna, the daughter of Adele Faber, who wrote the book How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And How To Listen So Kids Will Talk, in 1980.
• The influence that Adele Faber had on Julie's life.
• What motivated Julie and Joanna to write their book.
• How challenging it can be to be a mom 24/7.
• How her book can help parents to deal with their child's emotions- and their own.
• The connection between how kids feel and how they behave.
• How our intuition can lead us astray.
• The challenge of responding to negative behavior in the moment.
• The general orientation of her approach.
• How to encourage cooperation in your kids that's respectful and realistic- and gets them out the door in the mornings!
• Kids don't like being told what to do.
• Problem-solving with your kids.
• Her advice to parents who get angry, or battle to remain calm and think creatively in the moment.
• How we all need time to work anger out of our bodies.
• How to deal with your kid's sibling rivalry.
• Julie's workshops for parents, in the Bay Area.
• Julie's hope to develop a supportive community of parents.

Links:

Julie's website: www.julieking.org

Julie's Book's Website: www.howtotalksoyourlittlekidswilllisten.com

Robbin's website: www.soloparentlife.com – For the infographic for when parents are stressed.

Facebook Group: Solo Parent Life

We’ve all had moments where we felt negative space between ourselves and our children.  It’s important to find ways to connect with them in those times, in the happy times, and in the sad times. But, sometimes as parents, we need to listen and be supportive and leave space to let them release feelings.  This isn’t about making wrong or right decisions, but allowing them the moments to separate those feelings so that they can make good decisions. Learn how to manage these feelings and handle these situations by tuning into Solo Parent Life, with your host, Robbin Rockett. 

• How to deal with kids when they have a hard time with separation 
• Getting to the root of the problem 
• Understanding the problem and how to deal with it 
• Just listening and not offering a bribe or solution
• Just hanging in there with your child and not being impatient 
• Taking time to spend with all your kids and listen 
• Avoid redirecting their feelings 
• Connecting with your children and creating time to connect gives them the tools to make good decisions 

Resources:

HandinHand.org

If you're unsure about dating as a single parent, or how to introduce a new partner to your kids, listen in and find out from today's guest, Nettie Reynolds, how single, yet supportive co- parenting has really worked for her and her partner.

Nettie, a positive and supporting person with integrity and courage, is a storyteller, a performer, a Hospital Chaplain and the single mom of two young adults. Listen in today and discover how she has managed to incorporate her partner into her life with her kids successfully and in a truly unique way- perhaps a way that could work for you too.

Today, Nettie talks to Robbin about:

• Her transition from being married to being a single mom.
• Her rationale behind her crazy trip with her kids to the Grand Canyon to bury her wedding ring.
• How she learned that no matter what you do, as long as you're safe and productive, it's going to be okay.
• Her use of the word 'transition' rather than the word 'divorce' and the positive effect that it had on her kids.
• When and how she introduced dating into her single parent life.
• How she went about introducing her new sweetheart to her kids.
• How she and her sweetheart helped each other to get up and get going, when things got tough.
• How she and her sweetheart have approached the integration of their two families, without co-habitation.
• The importance of not being defined by your gender, as a single parent.
• How their decision not to blend their families has taken a lot of the pressure off.
• Why it is important for you to date, as a single parent.
• How she coped during her early transition, with the help of pajama- jeans and long lasting lipstick.

Links:

Nettie's website: www.nettiereynolds.net

Nettie on Twitter: @netreynolds

Robbin's email: drrockett@soloparentlife.com

For Robbin's infographic, go to: www.soloparentlife.com

Nettie recommends: Listen To Your Mother on Youtube.

When it comes to navigating life, we could all use a little assistance. Being a single parent is difficult, and it’s reassuring to know you’re not the only one making monumental decisions for yourself and your children. Introducing dating into the mix can also make your life a little more complex. Dating as a single parent is something we will probably all face at some point, so we wanted to give you some great advice to help you steer clear of the pitfalls of dating again! Stay tuned to hear some authentic, honest, and helpful advice from hardworking, single mom, Katy Olds, with your host, Dr. Robbin Rockett. 

Listen as Katy also discusses:

• Challenges of becoming a newly single parent 
• Strategizing how to meet people
• When is it too early to put yourself out there 
• Don’t bury the fact that you’re a parent out of embarrassment 
• Appreciate the new, available opportunities 
• Taking time to decide if you’re ready to date 
• Finding validation in yourself 
• Arranging dates and minimizing electronic communication 
• Deciding your boundaries and requirements 
• Being honest about your circumstances

Parenting is difficult no matter the situation and transitioning into being a single parent can be scary. You have to completely reestablish and build not only your life and social circle but yourself. If you’re struggling with making a decision about dating, or simply want to hear another point of view, tune in while your host, Robbin Rockett, collects some helpful tips and tricks from single mom, Dr. Jill Gross. 

• The process of online dating as perfected by Jill
• The importance of knowing what you want and don’t want 
• Setting up values and enforcing them 
• Always be truthful and know the audience you're appealing to 
• Be sure to express yourself and not to advertise something meaningless 
• Online dating is just an introductory 
• Someone who’s serious about a relationship will want to keep the virtual communication to a minimum 
• It’s easier to communicate through a screen and the internet can be deceiving 
• The importance of being honest and cutting off relationships if necessary 
• Focusing on how that person makes you feel and the atmosphere they give off 
• Focusing on the present in the relationship
• Getting to know someone takes time 

Connect with Jill:

www.drjillgross.com

If you're a recently divorced parent and unsure if you're ready to begin dating, or if you'd like to find out how to know when the time is right, listen in to today's show and find out from the guest speaker, Jill Gross, what you can do to ensure that you're well prepared for meeting a possible new partner.

Jill is a psychologist, living in Seattle and she's the single mom of two kids, aged 12 and 14. She has been divorced for about eight years and during that time, she developed a system, which is effective when it comes to playing the dating game. Jill should know, as she found herself a new partner that way and they have been together for the last three years. Join Robbin and Jill today, for the first half of a two-part series about dating and being a single parent and find out how to know when you're ready to date.

Today, Jill and Robbin discuss:

• Some sound advice for single moms and dads, about where to start with the dating game.
• How Jill relates to the problems experienced by single parents.
• Dealing with the grief of divorce when dating.
• The HOW to do it- Honesty  Openness and Willingness to try. (Melody Beattie)
• Dating from a place of adding value, rather than filling a void. 
• The end of a marriage can feel like a death and it often requires mourning to come to terms with it.  
• Why it can take you a couple of years to work out your 'stuff' after your marriage ends.
• Using support or interest groups to be with people who are going through the same thing as you are.  
• Getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new, something that scares you a little, even.          

Links:

Robbin's website: www.soloparentlife.com -This is where you sign up for the Solo Parent Life Weekly Newsletter.

 www.drjillgross.com

Resources:

Robbin suggests: www.meetup.com

Would you like to learn to deal with stress on demand, in the moment? Or to be an example to your kids of how they can cope with challenging times? Then listen in to today's guest, Dr. Melanie Greenberg and learn about how you can transform life's stresses to positive motivation.

Melanie is a psychologist, coach, speaker, and author, who helps people to manage the stress in their lives. She has recently written a book called The Stress Proof Brain, due to be released at the end of January. Join her and Robbin today, as they discuss ways that you can get back to the present and connect with your kids, when feeling stressed, overwhelmed and flooded with negative feelings.

Today, Melanie talks to Robbin about:

•The effects of stress on the brain.

•The value of mindfulness.

•How you can raise resilient kids.

•Techniques for you to move out of stress and into observation.

•Using your breath as an anchor for mindfulness.

•The value in having a daily mindfulness practice.

•Deep breathing to ground you quickly.

•Building your mindfulness muscle.

•Changing your relationship with negative thoughts.

•Breaking the cycle of ruminant thoughts.

•Dancing with your kids and coloring yourself calm.

•The ripple effect of practicing mindfulness.

Links:

Melanie's website: www.drmelaniegreenberg.net

Nick Bender, the guest on today's show, is the twenty-seven-year-old single dad of a gorgeous five and a half-year-old son. He also has a podcast, called Single Parent Podcast, a nitty gritty bare bones kind of show, offering great suggestions to single parents about all aspects of single parenting.

Today, Nick talks to Robbin about how much he loves living the life of a single parent. He also talks about his podcast, how it came about, his motivation in doing it and how it has helped him to grow into becoming a better co-parent. Listen in and find out how you too, can create a better life for yourself and your child, going solo.

Listen to this episode as Nick and Robbin talk about:

• What Nick has learned about the court system and how it can help you.
• How his podcast has helped him to better articulate his thoughts and feelings around being a parent.
• Nicks “recording studio” in his car.
• The amount of energy it takes to be a single or a co-parent.
• How he came to love his single parent life by embracing it.
• Why Nick thinks it's easier to be a co- parent than to be married with kids.
• Why it's really important to spend time alone.
• The 3 things Nick recommends to make co-parenting so much easier:
• 1) Develop trust
• 2) Be flexible
• 3) Don't sweat the small stuff
• Being flexible, yet maintaining firm boundaries.
• How in the past, Nick's need to avoid conflict outweighed his need to be honest.
• How much easier life can become when you learn to brush (the small) things off.
• How children feel the weight of unspoken resentment between parents.
• How changing your attitude for the better will feed through to the other co-parent and that they are likely to start doing the same.
• You cannot control other people.

Links:

Find Single Parent Podcast is on iTunes and on Facebook.

Nick on Facebook: Nick Bender

Robbin's website: soloparentlife.com

To ask questions or leave feedback, go to: www.bit.ly\soloparentlife17

Welcome to January and our theme of dealing with stress and anxiety! My guest today is Elizabeth Bonet, who hosts the podcast Hypnotize Me. She’s fast becoming a friend, sounding board, and supporter. She is a single mom, a psychotherapist, and hypnotist in private practice in south Florida---and she’s a former teacher of prenatal yoga. From her wide range of experiences, Elizabeth is here to share advice about being mindful and productive as an entrepreneur. Join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• How entrepreneurship gives freedom and flexibility to single moms
• Elizabeth’s tips for managing stress:
• • Recognize it
  • Regroup
  • Check in with others
  • Set limits around work
• How meditation can help manage stress—even just five minutes!
• Elizabeth’s “car meditation” breathing exercises
• Why the podcast, Hypnotize Me? To learn more and help educate others
• Benefits of hypnotherapy, including help with trauma, anxiety, depression, and smoking cessation
• “Inner child” work, through hypnotherapy
• Stress management from the inside out
• Finding support in online groups and forums
• Elizabeth’s tips for time management:
• • Schedule your day for self-care
  • Know your own energy and patterns

Resources:

Insight Timer Meditation App

www.drlizhypnosis.com

My guest today is Heather Sontag, who created the company called Serene Space. She goes into people’s homes to help them organize spaces, de-clutter, and manage their time. Her work goes beyond the simple organizing of STUFF, though, because she helps people from the inside out as they find their life’s purpose and organize their LIVES. Great tips are oozing from this conversation, so join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• As a mom of two and a business owner, Heather works hard to help other busy moms
• How to de-clutter and improve your time management
• Getting your kids involved
• Tips for organizing kids’ chores to foster independence
• Connecting with your own inner guidance
• Exercises to connect with positive body emotions
• “Better it, bag it, or barter it”---advice from Martha Beck
• Common struggles for women that they don’t even realize!
• How to care and nurture yourself in little ways
• Daily, weekly, and monthly mindfulness
• How being grounded leads to better decisions
• Why we all need “re-do’s”
• Clear boundaries and priorities
• Learn when to say YES and NO
• Empowerment from being selective about saying YES
• Letting things go

Resources:

www.ssorganize.com (Find Heather’s blog, newsletter, and information about classes!)

Upcoming Events:

Envision and Empower Your Ideal Life- January 18th

Beyond Motherhood, quarterly call- February 2nd

Join Dr. Robbin Rockett, a psychologist, consultant and host of Solo Parent Life, on the last episode of the show for 2016. 

Solo Parent Life currently has more than twelve hundred listeners from all over the world! In this fourteenth episode, she reflects on the recent holiday weekend and honestly shares about her current life situation and her intentions for the coming year.

Listen in as Robbin talks about:

• The unnecessary pressure she puts on herself and how she deals with it.
• The importance of being mindful and taking time out when the family is together.
• How you don't have to do it all and it will still be good enough - it's not about being perfect.
• That being mindful allows you to relax.
• How being real and honest can take the pressure off.
• Her gratitude for having started Solo Parent Life and how it's growing.
• Some upcoming podcasts in this series, featuring charismatic Nick Bender, a single dad, Dr. Melanie Greenberg, a psychologist who has written a book called 'The Stress Proof Brain' and Heather Sontag who organizes homes and offers workshops to help mothers deal with stress and anxiety.
• Her goals for 2017.
• How you can reach out to her and offer her feedback on the kind of topics that will benefit you on her show in 2017.
• Questions that you may have that she can answer in a Q&A episode in 2017.
• Some things she's learned through doing Solo Parent Life podcasts this past year, that she intends carrying forward into the new year.

Links: 

Robbin's website: http://southernmarinpsychology.com/solo-parent-life-podcast/

 To ask questions or leave feedback, go to: www.bit.ly\soloparentlife14

Today’s guest is Lorraine Platt. She and her husband co-own Teen Solutions and they focus on lots of different issues that teenagers deal with. Admittedly, Lorraine started out being afraid of teenagers, but the more she worked with them, the more she fell in love with them. Lorraine and her husband focus on mentoring services for teens, which is so needed as teens are growing up in these challenging times.

Listen to this episode as Lorraine also discusses:

• Why same-sex mentoring is so important
• The issues that can be uncovered when teens are free to talk openly about anything
• How social media is pressuring teens today
• A parents job is to raise and launch their children. Find out what that means!
• Why it’s important to take an interest in who your teenager is
• Phone use and boundaries plays a big role in developing relationships with your teen
• Does your teen want to spend time with you, even when they act like they don’t?
• Dad’s have some advantages as a single parent that Moms don’t have
• Teenagers are under the pressure of perfection, so we have to counteract that as parents
• Encouraging your teen to express themselves as who they want to be to the world

Connect with Lorraine:

www.teensolutionstherapy.com

My guest today is Suzan Aiken, a family law attorney who works with families going through divorce. She raised her son as a single mother and then helped raise three stepchildren in her blended family.  Suzan helps families get through divorce in a respectful and healthy way, through collaborative divorce. Join us to learn more about this low conflict way to divorce!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• How collaborative divorce is different as a conflict-resolution process
• When both parties agree NOT to go to court
• The team effort
• How mediation factors into collaborative divorce
• The holistic picture
• The language around collaborative divorce
• Parenting plans that are customized for each family
• When collaborative divorce WON’T work
• Feeling “heard” in the divorce process
• Working with couples on prenuptial agreements with a different approach
• Regrouping and revisiting prior arrangements
• Suzan’s tips:
• • Separate your emotions from the legal system
  • Arrive at a resolution with positive, constructive efforts
  • Take a holistic look at the big picture
• Suzan’s recent appointment as president of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, active in 20 countries and multiple languages

Resources:

www.aiken-sinaiko.com

Welcome to an enlightening conversation with my guest, Ann Buscho. Ann is Psychotherapist practicing in CA, who is the mother of three and stepmother of three. We’ll learn more today about the technique called “collaborative divorce,” but we’ll also discuss ways to reframe the language we use around divorce and its many-faceted issues that affect both adults and kids. I think you’ll find this conversation helpful in many ways. Join us for this incredibly insightful interview!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Why Ann decided to focus her work primarily on adults—after years of working with children
• What is “collaborative divorce”?
• Why collaborative divorce can be a great option instead of going to court
• The health and welfare of the family are the primary focus
• The language—it doesn’t have to be the language of “the broken home”
• Maximizing the time with your kids
• Language: Peace-building vs. Adversarial
• Why collaborative divorce is an interest-based process
• Divorce: 95% emotional and 5% legal
• “Ripping off the bandage”
• What to talk about in front of the kids
• Why kids need reassurance
• Self-care and the single parent
• How different rules cause conflict
• The “loyalty bind”
• Why kids need to hear good things about BOTH parents
• The choices we make
• Be curious about your kids’ feelings
• Helping kids accept step-parents and new partners
• Why your kids DON’T need all the details

New widows and stay-at-home moms who suddenly find themselves alone after the loss of a spouse or a divorce will need all the support they can get. If you are a widow or a divorced mom, the process of vocational analysis or evaluation is the scientific way to assess your employability and wage-earning capacity especially if you have not had any previous employment or have been unemployed for quite a while. 

Robin’s guest is Lisa Trustin, a career counselor and coach.  She counsels people seeking to redefine or reinvigorate their careers or explore the possibilities of returning to work. After the assessment, the client receives a report which includes the interpretation and free consultation. 

Show Notes 

• How the interview process is the best start to evaluate a client’s employability
• How her assessment helps the client re-enter the job market after an absence
• How it helps the client find more success in any current job 
• How she helps solo parents in a litigated family law case
• Method of career planning appropriate to the individual’s circumstances
• Career counseling as support platform for solo parents 
• The most effective strategy of helping parents 
• The criteria for exploring the 
• Resources for the client 
• Training provided to clients include
• • Creating resume
  • Using social media
  • Creating an account in LinkedIn
  • Social networking
• If somebody needs to work, there’s work for him. 
• How to avoid anxiety’s in job search
• There are programs to join for the elderly solo parent 
• Lisa finds it fun and fulfilling to support people every step along the way 

Resources 

http://www.lisatrustin.com/

FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/Lisa-Trustin-MA-ABVE-Vocational-Evaluation-Expert-Career-Counselor-1507712092788583/?fref=ts

Drew Lamden, LCSW, has been in private psychotherapy practice for so many years and works  with families, adults, adolescents, children, Family Courts, and Family Attorneys. He is a Collaborative Law Coach and a Child Specialist. 

He is Vice President of the Board of Directors of the Northern California Mediation Center, he is the Director of Schools Program, and provides clinical supervision for Community Institute for Psychotherapy. He also provides clinical supervision for Apple Family Center, and is Clinical Consultant to A Home Within. He has developed and conducted student and parent groups in the schools, and consults to attorneys, various schools, mental health training programs, clinics, crisis, and family court settings. He is also co-coordinator of the Marin Teen Mental Health Board. He is on the Clinical Faculty at Langley Porter, Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, UCSF.

Show Notes 

• What to tell and not to tell the kids , general guidelines in telling the children about divorce
• The importance of protecting children from the harsh realities of divorce 
• The importance of postponing informing young children about adult issues
• Waiting for children to grow more mature when giving them adult info 
• Children don’t do as well as adults too
• Importance of having mindfulness over the children
• Importance of good communication between the divorced parents about their children’s  well-being
• Importance of having a business-like relationship with the co-parent
• Can parents tell all to their children
• How much time is needed to tell all 
• How to deal with your children’s questions
• Children need to feel that they are loved by both parents 

Resources 

 alamden@alamdenlcsw.com

(415) 454-0736 phone 

In today’s episode, Dr. Robbin Rockett discusses the upcoming holiday season and how to move through this season successfully. This time of year can bring up many emotions - loneliness, loss and even jealousy. There’s no reason to face this time alone, so it’s time to get some resources and support for your holiday season.

Some aspects of the holiday season that we will discuss today are:

• How to deal with your emotions
• What happens when the holidays involves your ex-spouse
• How to make your children have a normal holiday

In this show Dr. Rockett discusses:

• At 4 years post divorce, how it still affects her
• What are 3 things you cannot live without this holiday season
• Ask the same question of your children and then figure out how to incorporate all of them into your holiday celebration
• Get real about what feels meaningful to you and your children
• Make giving back a part of your holiday season - it helps your heart and is a great example to your children
• Help your children as they purchase a gift for the other parent
• Are you co-parenting your children without conflict? Consider a joint celebration/event as long as it is a safe space for everyone
• If you are still in a place of conflict, it’s not a good idea to spend time together at the holiday
• If you are considering joint holiday events, discuss it with your ex first, not the kids
• Stay thoughtful and mindful of all parties, while still reflecting your boundaries
• Plan ahead to have a support system around you when emotions are overwhelming
• Continuing to make time for adequate self-care is critical

You can create your own new normal for the holiday season. Make it about you and creating rituals and events that support you and make you feel good. Know that you are not alone and we are always here to support you!

Today on the show Dr. Robbin Rockett has a very special guest. We’re talking about a topic every single parent will have to deal with at some point. We’re talking today about erotic integrity!

Dr. Claudia Six has several appellations to her name:  Ph.D. in Clinical Sexology, MA in Counseling Psychology, A.C.S for American College of Sexologists certification, and ABS certification #2532 from the American Board of Sexology. She is also a member of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality and the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors & Therapists. She was born and raised in France (no French accent at all) and came to the US at nineteen. Her practice includes divorce coaching, Marriage and couples sex therapy, Singles coaching, psychotherapy. 

Show notes:

• What does erotic integrity mean?
• What is the rebound relationship?
• Don’t misrepresent what you’re looking for
• In her own words, she is:  “…not bound by certain cultural constraints that Americans sometimes struggle with.”
• One should explore all of what you are as a sexual being
• Why humans are ambivalent = part of us wants change, and part of us wants to keep things the way they are. 
• Dr. Six believes her role is empowering you to make choices that support what you really want your life to be.
• Learning from the relationship you’ve been in
• People should embrace informed choices 
• Erotic Integrity, requires honesty, and the key component of honesty is communication. 
• It is not shameful to confess desire 

Resources

Website: http://www.drsix.net/

Erotic Integrity book: https://www.amazon.com/Erotic-Integrity-True-Yourself-Sexually/dp/1631520792

Dave Taylor is a blogger and writer who focuses on being a single Dad. He and his ex-wife actually began a parenting blog together while they were still married, and he kept it up through his divorce and it has chronicled his struggles and adventures as a single Father.

Dave has the same struggles every parent has, and he tries to focus his blog on the positive and negative aspects of parenting, without using all of his “Daddy-baggage”. Dave has turned his blog into a supportive space for single Dads, and he has also found support through his writing.

Listen to the episode as Dave also discusses:

• How Dave went about building a community
• Dave’s “time off with good behavior”!
• The role Dave’s friends (he has a lot of them!) have played in his single Fatherhood
• How he had to learn to grow a thicker skin
• Why it makes it harder when others to criticize parents for entertainment
• Why men have a learning curve when it comes to nurturing the children
• Society reinforces nurturing behavior with girls, but boys are made fun of for it
• Seeking support with your parenting can also help boost your confidence
• Dealing with emotions of having his oldest daughter go off to college
• The metaphor of parenting and ship building
• Mistakes that Dave and his ex-wife made as a couple
• Getting to know your children and their interests is a great way to stay connected to your children regardless of their age

Connect with Dave:

www.gofatherhood.com

twitter.com/davetaylor

Stress levels can be high in the household of a single parent with a teenage son or daughter. In this episode, we will focus on how to connect and communicate with teenage boys.  I have invited Richard Platt, MA, LMFT of Teen Solutions Therapy to discuss how parents of teen boys can build a stronger relationship.  He and his wife jointly run Teen solutions, a teen mentoring group and parent coaching firm in Marin. They have successfully counseled hundreds of families by helping them understand their teens and offer guidance in how to connect with them. 

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to build a stronger relationship with your teens
• Recognizing stress in your teenager 
• The 6 levels of connection with your children
• Providing a balanced life for your teens 
• Guiding them to focus on their responsibilities 
• Preventing  depression 
• Dealing with anxiety 
• How to earn your teen’s trust
• When to seek support for your teenage son
• 5 tips for single parents with teen boys

Resources:

Richard & Lorraine:  http://www.teensolutionstherapy.com

Solo Parent Life Website:  http://www.soloparentlife.com

Subscribe to the Podcast:  Itunes

Join the Facebook Group: Solo Parent Podcast Community

Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/DrRockettSoloParentLife/

Children of divorced parents deal with the difficulties in navigating challenging circumstances that morph from their original family situations. Our guest, Rebecca Picard, J.D., L.L.M, and a new therapist, talks about the dilemma that children of divorced parents go through. She is a mediator attorney, a conflict resolution coach, a Collaborative Family Lawyer, and a lately a therapist. She has mediated hundreds of civil, divorce, employment, estate planning, victim-offender, and workplace cases.  She has a lengthy experience in civil litigation and family law.

She has spoken locally and internationally about mediation and has done extensive training in psychology, communication and personal growth. She has also reviewed research on the development needs of children and the effects of divorce on children. She is also very much interested in new findings from neuroscience regarding emotions and decision-making. She is very passionate about helping people address relational conflict; she combines professional expertise with compassion and empathy in helping individuals. She can develop highly customized mediation agreements and emotional resolutions providing people with opportunities for growth. This is the primary reason she has recently shifted from legal practice to therapy practice.  

What you will learn from Rebecca:  

• Other reasons she shifted work from mediator attorney to a therapist
• Legal issues and emotional issues between parties are closely intertwined she works on the best balance
• The overlapping issues between a mediator and therapist 
• How divorced parents can deal with co-parenting relationship
• Mode of communication between parties can affect the results 
• Why email is the recommended mode of communication for couples who are in conflict resolution status
• Family relations could become a “business relations” 
• A co-parent relationship is very different from the normal parenting role 
• Kids can handle  2 different “cultures”  (things that are going on in the other house)
• Kids don’t need to know everything about the separated parents 
• What is a “parentified” child?
• How divorced parents can prevent developing a “parentified child”  
• Empathizing with the children of divorced parents

Resources: 

Website:  http://www.soloparentlife.com

Subscribe to the Podcast:  Itunes

Join the Facebook Group: 

This week’s guest is a licensed therapist based in San Francisco Bay Area, Therapist Susan Gadoua, L.C.S.W.  She counsels clients via phone or Skype all over the world. She is the author of Contemplating Divorce, A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go and Stronger Day by Day: Reflections for Healing and Rebuilding After Divorce. She has co-authored with journalist, Vicki Larson, the book The New I Do, Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels.  Susan also authored an eBook entitled, The Top Ten Misguided Reasons to Stay in a Bad Marriage. She conducts workshops and retreats and is a sought-out speaker on marriage and divorce. She has appeared on television, radio and print, including The CBS Early Show and publications such as The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Huffington Post, Psychology Today, and Divorce Magazine.

What you will hear in this episode 

• How helpful it is for solo parents to join a community 
• What marginalization is 
• The change in life and social circle can cause isolation 
• The transfer of location can also cause isolation 
• How divorce can cause emotional distress 
• How a separation/divorce support group can differ from therapy 
• What a divorce parent struggles with 
• When to join a support group
• Precautions in telling your pain and personal details to a social media group 
• Why your common friends may not be the right people to talk to
• Confidentiality and personal security in joining support groups 
• Susan is not worried about people reaching out to her; but she worries about people who stay isolated and drown themselves in alcohol 

Resource Center: 

Website:  http://www.soloparentlife.com

Subscribe to the Podcast:  Itunes

Join the Facebook Group: Solo Parent Life Podcast Community

Dr. Robbin Rockett conducts a virtual therapy session and provides 4 ways to get help. Please share it with a friend. 

What you will hear in this episode 

• Dr. Robbin Rockett’s own story on her single parenthood
• How to transition from married life to solo parent
• Transition period: The changes you may go through 
• How to  help yourself:  Be compassionate to yourself 
• Other people who can help 
• 4 ways you can be helped:

1.  Activity:

• Think of the past and try to remember how you were feeling 
• Try to play the role of a compassionate friend   
• What would you say to your other self? Write down what you would say as a compassionate friend

• Listen to the podcast for the complete instruction

2. Find a support group

3. Individual Therapist 

4. Building a supportive community – engage in recreation, sports, and fun activities.

Resource Center: 

Website: http://www.soloparentlife.com

Subscribe to the Podcast: Itunes

Join the Facebook Group: Solo Parent Podcast Community

Here’s help for you, the single parent – the single mom, single dad, divorced parent, widowed parent, a single parent who isn’t married yet or a single parent by choice. Dr. Robbin Rockett, who has a Doctor of Psychology degree with a specialization in Clinical Psychology, is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice. She has over a decade of experience in helping children, adolescents, adults, and families.  She is a single parent, too, and she knows the challenges that single parents deal with. She specializes in family systems approaches, anxiety and panic disorder, bereavement and grief, divorce, relationship problems and parenting issues. Her main purpose in creating the Solo Parent Podcast is to be able to form a community where single parents can find resources to help them cope with the challenges they face.  She will invite authors, coaches, fellow counselors and therapists, divorce coaches, mediators, and clinical sexologists as resource persons. 

What you will hear from the Solo Parent Life Podcast Episodes:

• Join the community and be the best that you can be for yourself, your children, and others 
• Listen to stories and testimonies shared by the guest speakers
• Arm yourself with the facts and tips
• Other special challenges faced by fellow single parents
• Avoiding strain on your paychecks
• Adjustments to make for a widowed parent
• Adjustments to make for a divorced parent 
• Handling emotional issues arising from loss or change 
• Dealing with single parent stress 
• Handling conflict with the other parent
• Helping children cope 
• Other types of information, help, and resources

Resource Center: 

Website:  http://www.soloparentlife.com