Hot Marriage. Cool Parents.

By Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner

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Rate for this podcast



 Feb 28, 2019

Lili
 Jan 30, 2019
Loved the interview with Jephte and Shawniece. I liked the fact that the four of you were talking like it was a fireside chat; just friends being real with one another. Great show guys!!

Ally
 Jan 10, 2019
Too many pee and poo stories. To keep it interesting they need to step up their game. It's going to get really boring if they don't.

Description

Are you looking for someone to share their deepest, darkest secrets on keeping their marriage spicy? Are you like, “puhhlease DISH on how to be a cool parent .. because, yeah ... I dunno!” Well Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner have got all you hubbies and wifeys - and mommies and daddies - covered, because each week they find a guest who will SPILL all their dirty secrets! Because we all wanna keep our marriages hot and our parenting cool!


Episode Date
Ep 13: Going Behind the Scenes of Reality TV with Kate Casey
01:06:13

Before we dive in today, we just want to take a moment to say thank you! We really appreciate that you’re here and listening to our show, and how loyal and supportive you are.


In today’s show, we’ll start off by chatting about Married at First Sight! The current season is coming to a close, and soon the couples will need to decide whether they want to stay married. So if you’re not up-to-date on the show, go watch it and then come back so you don’t accidentally hear spoilers!


Can you believe that Kate and Luke have been having sex since the honeymoon?! The way he talks about her has never been okay, but knowing that they’ve been intimate this whole time is wild. We’ll also talk about AJ and Stephanie’s interactions in the newest episode, and Stephanie’s (wise!) decision to go to bed mid-drama. Everyone is talking about Kate and Luke, so we’d love to hear your thoughts on AJ and Stephanie in particular!


Our guest today is Kate Casey, who you may recognize from her podcast Reality Life with Kate Casey! She interviews top producers and directors, and somehow manages to get the inside scoop on everything. Today, she goes beyond her professional life, and explains both her complicated relationship with her father and what it’s like to be a parent of five children.


Kate believes that lots of people (including some from this season of MAFS…) go on reality shows not because they believe in the premise of the show, but because they want a boost to their business or social media. Tune into the episode to hear more about her theory, as well as which shows she recommends watching!


In This Episode:

[00:58] - Welcome to the show, and thank you so much for being here! Before we start, here’s a shoutout to a listener who left a review on iTunes.

[02:32] - Let’s talk about Married at First Sight! We’re approaching the end of the season, when the people on the show will decide whether they want to get married.

[05:06] - Jamie and Doug move onto talking about AJ and Stephanie, and whether any of the couples are a genuinely good match.

[07:23] - Doug and Jamie introduce today’s guest, Kate Casey.

[09:08] - Kate talks about her life growing up, and explains the complicated non-relationship that she had with her father (and how they get along today).

[14:00] - We learn that Kate’s father isn’t interested in doing a DNA test.

[14:48] - Is it manageable to have five kids?

[20:48] - Kate has been watching this season of Married at First Sight, and shares her reaction to Luke as well as her thoughts on why people tend to go on later seasons of reality shows.

[25:18] - Kate talks about how many cast members pitch themselves for a spinoff, and shares her experience in meeting the cast of 90 Day Fiance.

[31:06] - Jamie rewinds a bit and explains what they’re talking about for anyone who isn’t up to date on this season of MAFS.

[34:05] - Would Kate sleep with someone if they told her that they felt dead and repulsed after making out with her?

[35:58] - Kate shares her thoughts on this season of the Bachelor, and whether Colton is in love with any of the girls.

[39:16] - Doug explains that lots of the guys auditioning for MAFS in the first season were actors.

[41:43] - Jamie believes that the experts on MAFS are pure, she explains.

[46:43] - The American MAFS is more genuine than the Australian version, Jamie explains, and Kate talks more about the Australian version.

[50:28] - Kate offers some suggestions for reality shows that Jamie might like to binge.

[52:01] - What are Kate’s top three favorite reality shows, and what are some she dislikes?

[59:47] - We hear Kate’s recommendation for what to watch after finishing Leaving Neverland.

[61:41] - Where can...

Mar 19, 2019
Ep 12: Questions for Doug Part 2
01:02:15

A couple weeks ago, we did an episode where Doug answered a lot of questions from listeners. We really enjoyed it, and from the feedback we’ve gotten, it sounds like you did too! He got so many questions, though, that we weren’t able to cover them all in just one episode. Since you liked that one so much, we’re back with part two to finish answering all the questions we didn’t get to last time!


Jamie needs to head out, so most of this episode will just be Doug answering your questions! If you’ve ever wanted to hear more about him and have him be the star of the show for an episode, this is the one for you, so don’t miss it. He’ll answer questions ranging from the deeply personal to the fun and whimsical, and you’ll get a great insight into who he is.


Doug will start things off by talking about his expectations of being a parent, and how the reality was different from what he expected. As he’ll point out, one of the hardest things is not knowing what you’re doing right. He’ll then talk about how much of Married at First Sight is real as opposed to staged or edited for dramatic effect. At least in the first season, it was all real! (And no, Doug doesn’t get to see new MAFS episodes before they air.)


Other great questions that Doug will answer include whether he feels like being on TV has changed him (and whether any changes were for the better), whether he got much extra attention from women (and ex-girlfriends in particular) after the show aired, what Doug’s best piece of marriage advice is, and even how Doug lost his virginity. Don’t miss this unique episode that lets you learn more about Doug, his perspective, and his experiences as a husband, dad, and MAFS success story.



In This Episode:

[00:07] - Doug announces that he and Jamie want to give listener shoutouts, and explains how to potentially get a shoutout in a future episode!

[01:37] - Jamie chats about how much Doug enjoys this kind of episode, and mentions that she’ll be absent for most of today’s show.

[03:33] - The first question for Doug is about what has surprised him the most about parenthood, and what was easier (and harder) than he expected.

[06:41] - Doug shares the next question, which is about whether Doug and Jamie will do more (and longer) vlogs on YouTube.

[07:52] - How much of Married at First Sight is real? And will Doug and Jamie be visiting Toronto any time soon?

[10:40] - Before MAFS, had Doug ever been close to proposing to someone?

[12:21] - Doug answers a question about whether he gets to see new MAFS episodes before everyone else. He then talks about how he handled the recent miscarriage.

[15:13] - What does the tattoo across Doug’s chest mean? Did Doug end up getting stitches in his hand, after his recent incident with a knife?

[17:00] - Now that Doug is in the public eye, are women coming onto him more? Have any of his ex-girlfriends reached out to him?

[21:05] - Does Doug think that being on TV has changed him as an individual? If so, was it for the better?

[23:25] - What is Doug’s favorite movie and TV show? What is he listening to? Do Doug and Jamie get free or discounted merchandise in exchange for promotions? And would Doug and Jamie get matching tattoos?

[26:55] - How do Doug and Jamie deal with having a difference of opinion when it comes to raising Henley?

[28:52] - Doug answers a question about how he and Jamie get through their losses.

[32:36] - Which bands, music, and singers does Doug like?

[34:31] - Doug explains why he and Jamie are in California at the moment, and whether it’s a permanent move.

[37:00] - What’s Doug’s top piece of marriage advice, coming from the perspective of a guy?

[39:58] - Doug answers a multiple-part question about his dream job, whether he’s a Trump supporter, whether he goes to church, and whether he’s a good dancer.

[42:13] - What one thing should women understand about how men feel...

Mar 13, 2019
Ep 11: Motherhood in Hollywood
00:50:14

We’re super excited to have Heather Brooker on the show today. This mom, comedian, podcaster, and actress has been on shows including The Office and Grey’s Anatomy, and Jamie really looks up to her. If you’re not familiar with her from her acting roles, you might recognize her from her podcast Motherhood in Hollywood.

 

As you’ll hear in this conversation, Jamie is really excited to hear about Heather’s life and career. Heather has been a TV reporter and international correspondent, as well as a host on the red carpet at the Oscars, so you can imagine why Jamie is thrilled for this conversation! You’ll love it, too, because it’s a powerful look into accomplishing big dreams, even when it takes a while.

 

One thing that Heather has struggled with is finding a place in Hollywood as a heavier actress. We’ll go into some depth today about the issues with typecasting and the tendency to portray heavy people as being funny when they’re the butt of fat jokes instead of being comedic in their own right.

 

As you might have guessed from that, being heavy in Hollywood requires a lot of confidence. And, luckily, that’s something that Heather has! It’s great to hear her take on how she builds and maintains this confidence, even when it seems like the people around her are set on destroying it. In fact, she’s so confident that she’s able to joke and laugh about events that would hurt other people deeply. Just wait ‘til you hear her story about trying to get Hugh Grant’s attention!

 

Tune in to hear a refreshing, down-to-earth, and downright funny perspective on what it’s like to be a mother in Hollywood, a heavier woman on the red carpet, and a wife who’s been married for more than half of her life. She’s an amazing person, and this conversation was such a treat!

 

Today’s Guest:

Heather Brooker

Heather Brooker in Twitter

Heather Brooker on Instagram

Heather Brooker on LinkedIn

Motherhood in Hollywood

Motherhood in Hollywood on Facebook

 

In This Episode:

[01:20] - Welcome to the show, and thank you to everyone who asked Doug a question last week!

[06:38] - Doug introduces today’s guest, Heather Brooker. Heather’s daughter also chimes in to say hi!

[09:17] - Heather talks about how she came up with the name Motherhood in Hollywood.

[11:15] - What was it like to be a host on the red carpet at the Oscars?

[11:17] - Jamie responds to Heather, sharing a point about reaching for big dreams.

[14:52] - We hear a bit of a blog post that Heather wrote that really resonated with Jamie, and that a lot of listeners will probably relate to as well.

[19:15] - Doug responds to what Heather has been saying about her audition for the part of “Fat Pam.”

[21:04] - Heather points out that fat jokes are an easy target, and digs into why it might be more acceptable to make fat jokes than racial jokes, for example.

[23:21] - Is Heather’s daughter always in the back of her mind when she’s choosing new roles?

[25:43] - Heather shares a story about being on Facebook Live at the red carpet, as well as other tales from the red carpet.

[30:25] - We hear Heather’s thoughts on having publicists who are very standoffish and even rude to...

Mar 06, 2019
Ep 10: Questions for Doug Part 1
00:47:52

Today’s show is going to be a little different! Instead of having guests, Doug will take today’s episode to answer listeners’ questions. He invited these questions on social media before the show, and hasn’t even read them yet because he wants his answers to be completely real and unrehearsed. Ready for this?!

Before we get into Doug’s Q&A session, we’ll talk together to answer one of the most common questions we get from listeners: why we’re in Los Angeles right now! Jamie loves California and feels at home here, so she put it out to the universe that she wanted to spend significant time here before our daughter is in school. Tune into the episode to learn how we made this work!

Our first question is about the most difficult chapter in our marriage after the show ended. This was when we had to move into Doug’s parents’ house after Jamie got pregnant. If Jamie hadn’t been pregnant, we actually might not have made it through this period. Our next question goes the other direction: what’s a positive thing about marriage that Doug didn’t expect? His answer is all about communication.

Other topics we’ll address in the answers to these questions include how Doug felt about Jamie at their wedding and immediately afterward, whether Doug struggles with Jamie’s initial lack of attraction to him, how he became such a secure person, whether we still watch Married at First Sight, how he would rate our marriage, whether Doug officiates weddings,

This is your chance to learn all about Doug, so don’t miss it! And if you want to submit a question to a potential future Q&A episode, stay tuned on our Instagram accounts. We’ll let you know when we’re accepting questions for the next Q&A session with one (or maybe both) of us. We love to get your questions, and we’d really like to get your feedback on whether you want more episodes like this!

Today’s Guest:

Maya Vorderstrasse on Instagram

@MayaVstrasse on Twitter

Maya Vorderstrasse on Facebook

Once Upon a Letter Board

In This Episode:

[01:20] - Doug welcomes listeners, and explains what today’s episode will be all about.

[07:35] - Jamie was unaware of the “ask Doug anything” event on social media. She then shares the story of Doug accidentally stabbing himself in the hand.

[11:44] - Listeners learn why Jamie and Doug are in LA right now, and how much Jamie loves spending time in California.

[16:33] - Doug starts his Q&A segment! The first question is about what was the most difficult chapter in our marriage after the show ended.

[20:33] - What is one positive thing about marriage that Doug didn’t expect?

[21:36] - Are Doug and Jamie considering moving to LA?

[22:40] - How did Doug feel about Jamie during the wedding, immediately afterward, and the next day?

[26:25] - How did Doug move past the fact that Jamie wasn’t attracted to him at first? Is he insecure about this now?

[28:08] - Jamie shares a story about her awkwardness.

[30:02] - How did Doug become such a secure person?

[31:05] - Would Doug and Jamie do another reality show? Are they watching the new season? What do they think of people comparing Jamie to Luke?

[32:42] - Did Doug quit smoking?

[33:37] - How would Doug rate the marriage today? Is Jamie content now?

[35:21] - Why did Doug become ordained to officiate weddings, and does he do so regularly?

[37:07] - What’s the best part of being a dad?

[38:09] - How does Doug’s family deal with the temporary move to California? What do Doug and Jamie struggle with when it comes to co-parenting?

[39:57] - What is the best advice that Doug’s parents gave him about marriage and parenting? Do Doug and Jamie get along with...

Feb 27, 2019
Ep 9: Postpartum Depression with Maya V.
01:00:58

There are some people on Instagram who Jamie loves following, and today’s guest is one of them! Maya Vorderstrasse is a fantastic inspiration, and you might recognize some of her ideas as the inspiration for some of our own Instagram pictures. As the mom of “Irish twins,” Maya has two children who were born within 12 months of each other. (So if you thought you couldn’t get pregnant while breastfeeding, think again!)

This already sounds overwhelming, but add to it the fact that Maya’s whole family is in Brazil, so she doesn’t have the sort of day-to-day family help that could lift some of the burden. She’s open about the struggles of parenthood, not only in terms of this family situation, but also her struggle with postpartum depression.

As you’ll learn today, Maya was super energetic after her first daughter’s birth and during her second pregnancy. Even immediately after the second birth, she felt excited (even though some days were hard). To her surprise and confusion, postpartum depression set in months after having her second baby. She felt like she was fading away, and spent months ignoring the feeling and trying to push it down. Finally, it burst forth as anger so bad that she left a hole in the wall, and her husband supported her in getting help. This was when she was finally diagnosed with postpartum depression.

In our conversation, Maya offers a sensitive, intimate, and often humor-filled look into the realities of postpartum depression. She openly shares her journey, offering a realistic yet inspirational look into dealing with this struggle. If you’re a woman who has suffered from postpartum depression (or might in the future), this episode will give you hope. And if you’re lucky enough to be someone who will never need to deal with postpartum depression directly, this conversation will help you understand the struggles so you can be a better partner, family member, or friend.

Today’s Guest:

Maya Vorderstrasse on Instagram

@MayaVstrasse on Twitter

Maya Vorderstrasse on Facebook

Once Upon a Letter Board

In This Episode:

[00:37] - Jamie and Doug welcome listeners to today’s episode, and chat about today’s guest, Maya Vorderstrasse.

[06:51] - Maya comes onto the show and jokes about why she’s doing this episode in the car.

[09:08] - We hear about how Maya takes her pictures without a photographer, and how she gets her babies to sleep at the same time.

[11:15] - Maya explains what it means to be a mom of “Irish twins,” and talks about her breastfeeding experience.

[13:30] - Jamie shares her perspective as a labor and delivery nurse on the topic of breastfeeding.

[15:13] - How does Maya do it, in terms of having two young children who are only 11 months apart in age?

[18:22] - We learn that Maya’s family is all in Brazil, so she doesn’t have the kind of local support that might make things easier.

[20:45] - Does Maya feel like she has conquered her postpartum depression? She answers, and talks about the experience of developing postpartum depression six months after having her second child.

[23:52] - Maya talks about the anger that developed as part of her postpartum depression, and how she ended up getting diagnosed.

[27:58] - When Maya’s kids were born, she decided that they were the only thing that mattered, and that’s what led to her falling apart.

[29:15] - Jamie takes a moment to talk about the importance of getting help, and encourage listeners to seek treatment for mental health struggles.

[30:43] - Maya shares her...

Feb 20, 2019
Ep 8: Dating as a Single Mom and Creating a New Family With Erica Rose & Chuck
01:08:00

If you’re a Bachelor fan, you’re already familiar with the lovely Erica Rose! We became really good friends on Bachelor Pad, and she was even at our wedding on Married at First Sight. Erica became a single mom shortly after having her daughter, and is now very happily remarried. We think her tips on finding love as a single mom will be really powerful for all the single moms listening to this podcast.

 

As you’ll learn today, Erica met a lawyer at work, and they quickly decided together to have a child that they would co-parent. They got pregnant on the first try, and actually ended up getting engaged. As Erica reveals, though, this was out of obligation more than being in love; their personalities were too different to be compatible as a couple.

 

When her daughter was just six weeks old, Erica and her ex separated, and she moved from California back home to Texas for more family support. She and her ex tried to keep things open and have a happy family, but it was very painful for both of them. It took a while before Erica was ready to look for love again, because she needed time to get back to being herself again.

 

One of the most impactful parts of this episode is Erica’s insight and tips for single moms. She talks about how important it is not to date until you’re ready. Other tips include having a good support system around you, and making sure you’re looking and feeling confident before you start dating. If you’re a single parent (or know one), don’t miss this episode that will give you insight, inspiration, and an intimate look into what it’s like to date after having kids.

 

Today’s Guests:

Erica Rose on Instagram

Erica Rose on Twitter

Erica Rose Sanders on Facebook

Charles Sanders on Instagram

Charles K. Sanders on Facebook

 

In This Episode:

[00:37] - Doug and Jamie welcome listeners to today’s episode of the podcast and introduce the guest, Erica Rose.

[03:36] - We learn more about Jamie’s upbringing with a single mom and several siblings, as well as her quest to find her father.

[06:48] - Jamie shares a question that she wonders: if her mom had had support and the right resources, would her life had turned out differently?

[10:21] - Jamie takes a moment to introduce Erica Rose and her husband, Chuck.

[11:29] - Erica explains how she and Jamie met and how their friendship developed.

[13:13] - We learn that Erica had no success on Tinder, but reconnected with Chuck on Bumble. Jamie shares one of her own Tinder stories.

[17:37] - Erica shares the story of how she and her ex met and decided to have a child together.

[22:57] - What was it like for Erica to be a single mom?

[25:42] - Erica talks about the point when she was ready to date again, and we hear more about how she and Chuck met.

[28:46] - We hear about how much importance Erica’s dad put on her spouse being Jewish, and how that played out.

[32:41] - Erica takes a moment to express her appreciation for how open Doug and Jamie are.

[33:08] - What does Chuck do?

[37:54] - We learn about how little Chuck knows about the Bachelor...

Feb 13, 2019
Ep 7: Doing Your Best, Life as a Mom, & Remembering to Laugh With Cat & Nat
00:47:14

It’s just me, Jamie, hosting the show today! When Doug went to drop our daughter off at daycare, the car broke down, so he can’t join me. The show must go on, though, and I can’t wait for you to hear this conversation with today’s guests! I think you’ll love Cat & Nat, who are amazingly funny and offer refreshing perspectives on parenting.

Cat and Nat are basically twins with different parents. They’ve been friends since high school, and even have husbands with the same name. Today, their lives are deeply intertwined, as you’ll hear in this conversation! These two amazing women stumbled their way into becoming mom millionaires, and they want to help you become a mom millionaire too! As a stay-at-home mom, it can be hard to watch your husband feeling the stress of being the only breadwinner, and you might even feel guilty about spending the money that he earns. Finding your own financial success relieves this stress on both of you.

Since you’re listening to this podcast, you probably already know that Doug and I met on Married at First Sight. Since Cat and Nat don’t know that story, though, I’ll tell it to them (including with some background on my time on The Bachelor), and I think you might enjoy hearing it from this different perspective! You’ll also hear about one of the most awkward moments that I had with Doug.

Of course I wish that Doug could have been here for this conversation, but it was super fun (and even funny, I think!) even though he couldn’t be here. Tune in to hear all about being a real mom from two moms who really get it, and who are here to offer the perfect combination of fantastic advice, non-judgmental understanding, and a big dose of fun. I think you’ll love these two as much as I do!

 

Today’s Guests:

Shawniece on Instagram

Jephte on Instagram

Shawniece on Twitter

Jephte on Twitter

 

In This Episode:

[00:37] - Welcome to the show! Jamie will be hosting it alone today thanks to Doug’s car problems.

[04:37] - Cat & Nat joke about how to tell which of them is which (even though they aren’t identical twins, or even sisters).

[06:18] - We hear the story of Cat and Nat’s friendship, which started when they were in high school.

[1:33] - Do Jamie and her husband both work from home?

[12:37] - We learn that Jamie discovered Cat & Nat on Instagram, and we hear an excerpt from their their #MOMTRUTHS clip about Marie Kondo.

[16:26] - We hear about the difficulty of throwing out things that don’t spark joy when you’re a busy mom.

[18:24] - What are Cat and Nat’s tips for moms who want to become mom millionaires too?

[21:18] - Jamie, Cat, and Nat talk about finances, being a working mom, or staying at home.

[23:32] - We hear about how Jamie and Doug met and got married, including the background of her time on The Bachelor.

[29:20] - How did Jamie’s family react to her decision to get married at first sight?

[30:53] - Jamie talks about her book, and gives an example from the book of an awkward situation she and Doug got into.

[34:14] - Cat and Nat talk about their upcoming book, Cat and Nat’s Mom Truths, as well as their tour and Jamie’s desire to move to California.

[40:49] - Where can people find Cat and Nat online?

[42:02] - Jamie reassures listeners that Doug isn’t stranded and in trouble, even though he wasn’t able to be here...

Feb 06, 2019
Ep 6: Shawniece & Jephte Talk Marriage, Reconciliation, and Parenthood
01:24:02

Before we dive into today’s episode, we want to say thank you to all of you for the love and support for the miscarriage we recently experienced. You’re incredible, and we’re so grateful for each and every one of you.

Today’s guests are Married at First Sight Season 6 stars Shawniece and Jephte. They had a tumultuous pregnancy during which they separated, but found their way back together again. We went through some struggles while pregnant too and honestly didn’t know if our marriage would pull through, so we can absolutely relate to them.

At the beginning of their relationship, Shawniece was instantly smitten. For Jephte, though, things took a while longer. They’ll explain today how their journey progressed from this stage to being in a solid, loving relationship with a baby. We’ll also learn about how Dr. Pepper Schwartz helped them to navigate some of their struggles.

The four of us will dig into the word “stranger,” and its complications. We all started this Married at First Sight process as strangers, but because the word means different things to different people, hearing it can be hurtful in two very different ways. We’ll also explore how things change once the cameras leave, and why it’s so important to have time to miss each other instead of being together all the time.

Other topics we’ll explore include the role of the chase in relationships, how to turn the trust on, working through disagreements in a healthy and respectful way, the value of communication, diaper-changing duties, and much more! Jamie will also talk about her search for her father, and her experience with growing up without her dad.

Today’s Guests:

Shawniece on Instagram

Jephte on Instagram

Shawniece on Twitter

Jephte on Twitter

In This Episode:

[02:03] - Doug and Jamie start things off with a message of appreciation for all the support.

[05:26] - We learn about today’s guests, Shawniece and Jephte, and the similarities that they have with Jamie and Doug.

[12:58] - Shawniece and Jephte have an inspiring story and they’ve been through a lot.

[16:19] - Doug, Jamie, Shawniece, and Jephte chat about their similarities and the weirdness of getting married at first sight.

[18:15] - When did Jephte and Shawniece consummate their marriage? Was it during the show?

[20:01] - We hear about how Jephte and Shawniece’s journey went from the beginning, when Shawniece was instantly smitten.

[24:22] - What advice did Dr. Pepper give Shawniece and Jephte that convinced them to tough it out rather than give up on their marriage?

[27:48] - Jamie points out one of the hard things about Married at First Sight.

[29:41] - Shawniece shares her perspective on the word “stranger,” which Jamie has just been talking about.

[35:39] - We learn about why Shawniece and Jephte split while Shawniece was pregnant, and some of the issues that they had.

[38:48] - How far along was Shawniece in her pregnancy when they went through their split?

[42:30] - Jephte shares his thoughts on the experience of Married at First Sight Happily Ever After? ending, and how it was different from the end of Married at First Sight.

[44:01] - Doug talks about the abrupt transition from being single to immediately being married, and the importance of having time to miss each other.

[45:51] - What was Shawniece’s pregnancy like?

[50:35] - Jephte and Shawniece talk more about their relationship dynamics, and the experience of the chase.

[53:45] - Throughout their journey and even their...

Jan 30, 2019
Ep 5: Struggling With Loss (You’re Not Alone!)
00:45:07

We never planned on recording this episode, but you know how much it matters to us to be open and honest with you. We’ll never pretend that everything is perfect; we value you enough that we want to be vulnerable with you.

Not long ago, we announced that we were pregnant. Jamie felt deep down that this was going to be a great pregnancy… until she started spotting. This can be totally normal for some women and some pregnancies, but Jamie had the exact same symptoms with our angel baby, Jonathan. Unfortunately, for us, the spotting indicated that there was a problem.

If you haven’t heard, we had a (failed) miscarriage. We were so excited for this pregnancy, but part of us was guarded because we had lost a pregnancy before, even as we tried to stay positive. It’s amazing how hard it is to stay calm and stress-free while accepting that you can’t control whether your pregnancy has a successful outcome.

Of course, this brings up a lot of complicated thoughts and emotions. We’re so happy for our friends who are due around the same time we were, but at the same time, it’s impossible to avoid feeling sorrow that we’re not going to be having a baby with them. Something we’re grateful for is that we went against the conventional wisdom of waiting to tell people about a pregnancy; how can they support you through your loss if you don’t tell them? On that note, we’re so grateful for the outpouring of love. Thank you for helping us to get through things.

If you’re wondering what you should (and shouldn’t) say to someone who has suffered from a loss, don’t miss this episode. We’ll discuss some tips, and list some specific things you absolutely shouldn’t say (even if they’re true for us). For example, don’t ever say things like, “At least you know you can get pregnant,” “You weren’t that far along,” or “This miscarriage must be easier than the last one.” Things you can say include, “I’m thinking of you,” “This baby will never be forgotten,” “I’m so sorry for your loss,” and “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” Even better is to sit and just listen!

We don’t want you to ever feel alone. If you’ve suffered with fertility in any way, and you feel like there’s no one you can talk to about it, please reach out to us! So many of us go through these things, and no one should ever feel like they don’t have someone on their side.

Finally, we’ll chat about Jamie’s book, Wifey 101! Tune into the episode to hear what it’s about and get a taste of what you’ll read when you buy it. (Plus you’ll learn how to get a signed copy!)

Links and Resources:

Married at First Sight

Hot Marriage. Cool Parents. on YouTube

Jamie Otis

Wifey 101 by Jamie Otis

hotmarriagecoolparents on Instagram

Jamie Otis on Instagram

Doug Hehner on Instagram

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Miracles in the Making

Jan 23, 2019
Ep 4: Pregnancy, Loss, and FertilityIQ
00:55:11

Today’s episode isn’t an easy one. We recorded this episode when we were at the end of the third trimester, but shortly after the conversation, we suffered a miscarriage (as you may have heard about). Even though we’re in a different space now, we still absolutely wanted to share this episode with you.

A year and a half after we got married, we got pregnant with our son Jonathan. We were so excited, and publicly shared that we were pregnant with our first baby. Just a week later, we found out that the pregnancy wasn’t viable and we were going to end up losing our baby. Naturally we wanted to find a reason or an explanation, and a way to make sure it wouldn’t ever happen again. But the hard truth is that sometimes it’s just out of your control.

In the first part of this episode, we’ll dig into that first pregnancy experience, including the aftermath, how we dealt with losing Jonathan, and why bunnies have become so important to us.

We’ll then move onto talking with our guests, Deb and Jake from FertilityIQ. Their website helps people find a doctor who will be a good fit based on anonymous reviews. The two of them were fertility patients who got pregnant and had two miscarriages, and felt like no one could give them a straight answer about anything. Ending up with the wrong doctor was a waste of time and money, and they were frustrated with not being able to find the right information.

Deb and Jake decided to do something about both of these problems! They started FertilityIQ to help people find the right doctor and to provide real data to help people make the right decisions. In our conversation, they’ll also talk about their own journey with infertility, including some of the things that they tried. No matter where you are along your fertility journey, this conversation should help you understand that you’re not alone and there are resources out there to help.

 

Today’s Guests:

FertilityIQ

FertilityIQ on Instagram

FertilityIQ on Facebook

FertilityIQ on Twitter

Deborah Anderson-Bialis on LinkedIn

Jake Anderson-Bialis on LinkedIn

 

In This Episode:

[01:51] - Jamie and Doug welcome listeners to the episode, joke about a fourth episode anniversary, and mention today’s guests, before talking about their experience with their first pregnancy.

[06:56] - A week after announcing their pregnancy, Jamie and Doug found that it wasn’t viable. They share details of the experience.

[12:22] - Jamie and Doug describe the moment that they learned that their pregnancy wasn’t viable.

[17:08] - We hear about the impact that Jonathan made on Jamie and Doug.

[22:00] - It’s nice to be around positivity, Doug points out.

[23:00] - Jamie introduces today’s guests, Deb and Jake from FertilityIQ, before we hear messages about a few amazing sponsors.

[27:04] - Deb and Jake come onto the show and explain who...

Jan 16, 2019
Ep 3: Should Hubby Watch the Birth?
01:10:55

By now you probably know that Jamie is pregnant again! We’re so excited, and want to bring you along on our journey. That’s why today’s episode includes the audio from the exact moment that Doug learned about the pregnancy. We had just gotten back from Disney, and he was feeding Henley. As you’ll hear, his reaction wasn’t as excited as it could have been (and neither was Henley’s), but you get to share in the genuine, real reaction rather than a staged moment.

Today’s amazing guests are the fantastic Erica Eckman from Everything Erica and her husband Dan, a real estate guru. She and I met on social media when she reached out on Instagram, and she’s honestly one of my best friends now. She and her husband are intelligent, down-to-earth, and just lovely people.

If you’ve ever wondered about how Erica and Jamie met, this is the episode for you! You’ll learn that Erica took a chance and reached out, the two featured each other, and the friendship blossomed organically from there. As Erica points out, you never know what might happen if you just say “hi”!

Erica is a fairly new mom, and the four of us will talk about the experiences of birth and parenthood. Of course having children is an amazing blessing, but there are definitely parts of the pregnancy, birth, and parenthood process that’s a struggle. There’s no shame in asking for help or not being able to do it all yourself.

We’ll dig into all sorts of things, including how Erica’s birth process went, whether men look at women’s vaginas differently after watching them give birth, how long the recovery process takes, how much it hurts after birth (including a story involving peeing on a nurse), the issues that can be involved in breastfeeding, and much more.

Today’s Guests:

Erica Eckman on LinkedIn

@everythingerica on Instagram

@dansdadlife on Instagram

Everything Erica

In This Episode:

[01:43] - Jamie and Doug chat about the podcast, and introduce today’s topic: Jamie’s pregnancy announcement to Doug!

[05:32] - We hear the audio from when Jamie announced her pregnancy to Doug right after getting back from Disney.

[10:08] - The reaction wasn’t as enthusiastic as it could have been, but at least it was genuine!

[13:57] - Erica Eckman from Everything Erica and her husband Dan are today’s amazing guests.

[16:57] - Jamie explains who Dan and Erica are for people who aren’t yet familiar with them.

[18:10] - Erica shares the story of how she and Jamie initially met.

[21:14] - Doug brings up the point of people surrounding themselves with people who they admire or look up to.

[23:31] - Did Erica deliver her daughter vaginally or through a C-section?

[28:35] - Since Jamie works in labor and delivery, she was interested in her birth process and even checked her own dilation.

[29:38] - How painful is it after having a baby?! Erica shares a post-birth bathroom story about the pain of even peeing.

[31:50] - Erica and Jamie chat about breastfeeding and Erica’s struggles with it.

[36:02] - Is the common sense of shame over not breastfeeding self-imposed shame, or is it from external sources?

[40:45] - Doug wonders whether there’s a good way to ask new mothers whether they’re okay or might be grappling with depression.

[44:21] - Does Dan remember the first...

Jan 09, 2019
Ep 2: Moving, Marriage, and Pregnancy with Ashley and Anthony from "Married at First Sight"
00:53:59

Last week, on our first-ever episode of our new podcast, we shared an exciting announcement. If you didn’t hear it, we won’t keep you in suspense: we’re pregnant!! Doug’s first reaction was concern for our wonderful daughter Henley, but we quickly got super excited.

After a couple stories about intimate moments gone very wrong, we’ll transition into talking about more important (and less, uh, personal) things: our two amazing guests today from our MAFS family! In case you’re not familiar with our story or the acronym, we met and got married on the same day on the first season of the show Married at First Sight

Our guests, >Ashley Petta and Anthony D’Amico went through the same crazy experience in season 5, and it turned out wonderfully for them too! If you’ve ever doubted the idea of love at first sight, you need to watch their season. They’re still so in love, beautifully happy, and are super pregnant in their new house as we speak. 

We’ll chat about the experience of moving while heavily pregnant, which is something we have in common. We’ll also dig into the topic of intimacy while pregnant, including suddenly-larger boobs that are off-limits (ouch!) and having sex while pregnant. We also share the stories of how we respectively revealed our babies’ genders. 

You’ll learn that Anthony has special dream-powers, because he figured out his future wife’s first initial and his future baby’s gender through dreams. We then talk about baby names! We always knew we wanted to name our daughter Henley, but we don’t even have a boy’s name picked out. Ashley and Anthony aren’t ready to reveal their unborn daughter’s name yet, but they’ll share a name they aren’t using!

Tune in to hear more about all of this! We’ll also talk about how long house-hunting took for them, whether they have experience with other infants in the family, taking advantage of pregnancy (and nursing), putting swings together, conceiving our babies, and more. Our daughter Henley will even make an appearance!

Links and Resources:

Married at First Sight

Ashley Petta on Instagram

Anthony D’Amico on Instagram

White With Style (our sponsor!) Use coupon code Jamie28 for a huge discount!

FabFitFun (our sponsor!) Use code 40Jamie to save 40% off your first box

Married at First Sight: Happily Ever After?

Erica Eckman on Instagram

Wifey 101 by Jamie Otis on Amazon

Wifey 101 (autographed copy)

Jan 02, 2019
Ep. 1: Our Surprise Revealed
00:34:45

Doug and Jamie make their surprise announcement! 

Jamie says,"Please don't judge me after hearing this". 

Jamie is searching for her father. 

Changes coming in Jamie's nursing career. 

Plans for future episodes. 

For full episode notes: https://jamieotis.com/1

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Wifey 101 by Jamie Otis on Amazon

Wifey 101 (autographed copy)

Dec 25, 2018
Introduction
00:10:13

First of all, I think that maybe people don't know us, so we should give a little background on us, because we're a little crazy to start.

It's been almost five years. We were on a little show that nobody knew about called "Married At First Sight."

Doug: And I remember it perfectly, I was in my car, I was working for a water company at the time. And I got a voicemail saying, "Hey are you single? We're doing a show in the tri-state area. Give us a call back."

Jamie: That's how you were asked to be on "Married At First Sight?"

Doug: And I called back and I spoke to somebody and I said, "Yes, I'm single and okay I'll fill out a questionnaire." And I want to say it was maybe, what was it, three weeks later, I found out I was getting married and going on a honeymoon.

Jamie: Yeah. And honestly, very much similar for me. I got a call and they said, "Do you have trouble dating in New York City?" And I was like, "Raise your right hand and your left hand if you could understand that." 

So, long story short, we were married at first sight on season one, which is now a huge hit show on Lifetime.

We also are so excited that we now have a daughter and it was not an easy path whatsoever-

We really struggled a lot with pregnancy and getting pregnant and then ... Well actually the truth of the matter is, when I got pregnant with Henley, our daughter, the pregnancy was very easy. And it was almost so easy that it was scary because we had suffered at loss at 17 weeks and one day and so that's definitely mid-second trimester and it was just scary.

Even before though, I think that where we're coming from, not many people have gone through what we went through. Being married at first sight. I mean, yes, there's arranged marriages but I mean, this was literally putting your fate and future in the hands of experts. And giving information about yourself and hoping that you know yourself enough to know what you want and getting married at first sight and marrying a stranger and taking that step which is nutty. It is crazy but it also made sense at the time. And it worked out.

That being said, we are not experts but we've had this fast track tutorial on how to work on a marriage, what do to with a marriage, we've reached extreme lows, we've went through extreme highs, we have a child now and I think over five years, it's almost like we went through what most couples go through in maybe 10, 20. Jamie has a very unique background with her upbringing and environment, which is almost complete opposite to mine. And I think that not only do opposites attract but I think that we have very different perspectives on things.

Sorry to share our weird truths. But you know what, we didn't become named the most awkward couple on TV for no good reason.

But I genuinely am excited for this podcast because it's gonna give everyone a voice and we want to speak with you, we want to talk about what you talk about, we want to keep you in our lives. And I think that this is gonna be a fun journey.

Yeah, we are so excited to get to know you guys more and be able to have another way to kinda communicate with you and keep in touch with you and hang out with you. So every week you'll be able to get a new episode from us so I think this is the third time we've tried to say goodbye, but clearly we love to talk.

Yes, we love you guys so much and like we said before, give us anybody that you love and you want to hear from on our podcast that relates with parenting or marriage. We would love to bring them on and chat with them. So yeah, let us know and of course subscribe because Christmas Day we have a little gift for you.

Visit us online at: https://jamieotis.com

Dec 25, 2018