How and When to Talk to Your Kids About Sex
Sex is so important to talk about and can be a very difficult topic to bring up but with this episode it just got easier! We dive deep with Sex Addiction Therapist, Mark Bell, on how and when you absolutely need to talk to your kids about sex....it will surprise the heck out of you and relieve so much tension and stress around the topic. This is a MUST MUST MUST listen for any parent and will impact your kids' lives greatly! Do not skip over this one...
|Mar 20, 2019
Speaker 1: Hey everybody, welcome to Rad Dad Secrets episode number 15, how a trip without my kids helped me become a better.
Speaker 2: So the big question is this. How do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting, who only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets. Okay, everybody. Hey Jefferson Harmon here. I recently returned from a trip to Disneyland with my wife and no kids kids.
Speaker 1: It was one of the best experiences I've ever had in my life. I love Disneyland. My wife and I, that's one of our favorite places to go is Disneyland. I know it sounds crazy and Jim Gaffigan does a bit on this about the crazy adults that are there with no kids. Yes, that was my wife, myself and a couple of members of her family. Well, most of her family. Uh, the adults in her family. We went to Disneyland to celebrate a birthday of somebody in one of my inlaws. It was one of the funnest times I've ever had in my life. Uh, we were there for five days in the park, going back from, from Disneyland to California adventure. We were there for five days. We walked over 70 miles. I was about to say 70,000 miles, but now 20,000 steps a day, 70 miles. In those five days, we were exhausted.
Speaker 1: I felt like when I came back, I needed a vacation from my vacation, but it was super fun. Now going away with my wife, just, just her and I without the kids is crucial in becoming a totally red debt for me. I love my children, but at the same time, I need time to reconnect with my spouse. This one on one time helps us reconnect without the hustle and bustle of every single day life. We live very neat. I say hectic lives. My wife, she is the, the master of the house. She, she's the, the taxi driver. She's the cook. She does most of the chores. I help around the house a little bit, but she is basically the air traffic controller of the house. She, she makes sure things are nice and organized in the house. And we have five kids and tonight we actually signed every single one of them up for soccer.
Speaker 1: We have three kids in track, so three of those kids are going to do soccer and track. We have my three girls are in dance, so some of my kids have, we live busy lives and I know I'm preaching to the choir there. There are many of you dads and moms out there that also from lead busy lives. So this right here is one of the most important things that I can do for my marriage is take time away from my kids to reconnect with my wife. I want to say that we, we go on about a couple of vacations a year without the kids. Uh, and it's, it's some of my favorite times now vacationing with my family. It's again, it's one of my favorite times as well. But going away, just my wife and I is, is phenomenal and it is a crucial, crucial step in becoming a totally rad dead.
Speaker 1: Now my wife and I were walking around Disneyland and I was thinking to myself, this place has it figured out. They have everything figured out now. They've had years and years and years to perfect what they've, what they're doing. Uh, we walked around one day and we just, we were kind of looking around and as much garbage as they sell, as much food and souvenirs and everything that they sell inside the park. If you go to Disneyland and look around, you will hardly find trash on the ground, even if it's just popcorn or, or just food. You know, kids will be eating food and they'll spill. I mean, Mike and my kids still all the time, but spilling food on the ground, you will rarely find litter on the ground as, because they have tons and tons of cast members. That's a, that's what they call their employees.
Speaker 1: If yo
|Mar 12, 2019
Let Them Suffer The Consequences...
Speaker 1: All right, everybody, this is Rad dad secrets, episode 14. Let them suffer the consequences.
Speaker 2: So the big question is this, how do regular dads like us but weren't given a playbook on parenting who only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love. That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets. Okay. So everybody, I just full transparency here,
Speaker 1: got done recording the podcast and realized I didn't hit the record button. A Jefferson is on vacation and I'm recording this by myself. He probably would have caught that and called me out on it. Um, so this is my second go through and I uh, don't know if it's going to be any better. Um, but hang tight with me and we're going to get through this together. So I wanted to talk today. Everybody's heard of the helicopter parent, right Always soaring around their children. Well, I read recently an article about the lawnmower parent, which I thought was fascinating and it's a, it's a problem that I see happening with our generation raising kids. And now the lawnmower parent, um, basically they go to whatever lengths necessary to prevent their children from having to face adversity, struggle trials or any type of failure. And I know you guys have seen this and, and I know that these parents and myself included, it has happened shins.
Speaker 1: Um, but it's going to cause problems in the long run. So it basically, instead of prep preparing your kids for the challenges that they're going to no doubt face in this life, they zip ahead of their kids and mowed down those challenges to make sure that they don't ever been up against those challenges with the idea that they're going to help them to be happier and more successful in some way. But this will lead kids to panic, to shut down and to cope with addictions. There's going to be blame involved and there's going to be internal rationalization. Some people will never actually figure out how to face their challenges or if they do, it might be later on in life there they will have missed out on so much of life's opportunities because when they finally hit those trials and they weren't mowed down because mom and dad were not around anymore, that they're not going to know what to do.
Speaker 1: So truly to have successful children who experience higher levels of happiness, you have got to allow your children to experience trial to experience challenges and go through that. Right I have a five month old baby, she rolls over and she's on her stomach and she's on top of her left arm, right And her right arm is out. She's pushing up and she can't seem to get that left went out. Now I want to go and just pull that arm out and help her out. But the other part of me is like, you know, you know what Let's let her figure this out. And she kind of wobbles around, wiggles around, and finally gets arm free. And at five months old you can already see that. She feels a sense of accomplishment, right So natural consequences is what I want to talk about here today. And when, uh, when our kids were younger, they would forget their lunch and we would see it on the counter and be like, Oh man, they forgot to have lunch.
Speaker 1: And we'd take it to the school, have them drop it off for them so they'd get their lunch. We had some friends like, oh, no, no, no, no. My kids forget their lunch. They're done. They don't get lunch. I was like, that is so mean. How could you possibly do that And then all of a sudden it dawned on me, I was like, this is starting to become a problem. My kids are forgetting their lunch an awful lot and they're not learning. And all of a sudden I'm like, wow, they're becoming enabled and feeling entitled. Right Oh, it's not a b
|Mar 06, 2019
The Unstoppable Totally Rad Dad
Speaker 1: All right, everybody. Welcome to Rad Dad Secrets, episode 13 the unstoppable totally Rad Dad.
Speaker 3: So the big question is this. How do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting, who only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets. All right, everybody. Glad to have you back. And we got some exciting information to go over today. So we want to talk about being unstoppable.
Speaker 1: Totally Rad Dad. And there's a lot to it, right There's a ton that goes into this, but one of the first things is that as a Rad Dad, you can, you can't just kick your feet up if you feel like you're doing a great job, the worst thing you can do is kick your feet up and be content, right You just rest on your laurels. Say I'm doing a good job. I don't need to progress. I don't need to get any better is one of the worst errors you can make. You do need to be happy, but never satisfied out of the totally Rad Dad. Even after you achieve goals, you're never truly content, and it's interesting to never be satisfied that that can be taken in two different ways, right To accomplish a goal and you're like, oh, I'm just not satisfied. You know You can look at it like that, but in all reality, you want to be content.
Speaker 1: You want to be happy with your accomplishments, but to not be satisfied, it means that you're not going to stop. You're not going to stop progressing. You recognize your potential and you really recognize the potential of your kids and your family as far as how much more they can progress, how much further that you can reach. You know, they always say reaching for the stars because it's basically something that that's almost unreachable. I mean, there's galaxies beyond galaxies, beyond galaxies, but reaching for the stars in the same way it can be reaching inside yourself. It's like reaching for the stars. There is no end to our potential and the, the limits. We truly are limitless. We need to not be satisfied and continue to push on and achieve that next goal and work toward that next goal. Be Happy with what we've got and grateful for what we've got, but continue to push on. Yeah. Also kind of along those same lines, if you've got to be true to ourselves,
Speaker 2: you know, you've got to be true to yourselves. Um, I like this quote. This is by Amber Riley. As long as you are, are being true to yourself, you will always find happiness when it comes to things that are done around the house. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses, right I know what I'm good at and what I'm not good at. I am not, I am not a handyman. We are, we are eventually going to get our floors done. We have all the, uh, all the woods sitting in our house acclimating to this climate, but that's a youtube format. No, youtube is not going to fix a, my clumsiness. I, I know what I'm good at and I know what I'm not good at. So we are going to have somebody come in and put our floors in and that's just not something that I'm good at.
Speaker 2: I know some of you, some of you dads out there are going to be rolling your eyes at me and saying, you know, just like you were saying, look it up on Youtube. You could do it now. There's too many corners, too many angles, stairs that I want it done right. So I know, I know what I'm good at and I'm going to be true to myself and say, you know what, I'm going to leave this to the professionals. Kind of the same thing in my office too. I know what I'm good at. I'm not good at doing the insurance billing, so I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna do that. Right I'm going to let somebody, I'm going to let the professionals do that. Also, if something isn't right in
|Mar 01, 2019
Be Prepared To Be A Rad Dad
Speaker 1: Everybody. This is Rad Dad Secrets, episode 12 be prepared.
Speaker 2: So the big question is this, how do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting, who only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets. All right everybody, this is Eric and Jefferson
Speaker 1: and we want to talk to you yesterday about being prepared. So my son was asked to give a lesson for a youth group and he had never taught, he's 14 never taught the lesson before. So I was pretty proud of him. He sat down on his own and started putting it together, this lesson and he put up, put together a pretty good lesson, found some stuff on the Internet and I sat down and refined a few things with him and, and we went over it. He was doing good. And I just, I really emphasize you really need to go over this multiple times. And then I kind of left it in his court. We went, you know, the next day he taught his lesson and all in all it went really good. Um, but there are a few moments where I could tell he was kind of at a loss and wasn't sure where to go.
Speaker 1: And tis defense his first time he's ever taught a lesson like this before we got through the lesson and it was really good. And afterwards I was like, how do you think it went And he's like, well it went pretty good. I was like, yeah, I agree. And he was like, it went really good when they adults would talk though. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I mean, why do you think that is It's like, well I dunno cause you guys are grownups. It's like, well yeah, kind of. I was like, honestly, it's because we've prepared, we've taught hundreds if not thousands of lessons, right We've talked about these subjects so many different times that our confidence levels are so, so high. And he's like, oh, okay. And I gave him the example and I just said, you know, like when I, when I teach a lesson or you know, in my office idea of health presentations and when I go to give a health presentation, I deliver that talk on that night and people watch it and it's 30 to 45 minutes long and it's, it's pretty flawless and everybody is like, Oh wow, that was really great.
Speaker 1: And it looked really easy for you. Really. It was pretty easy for me. And the thing was though, what they don't see or didn't know is that that 30 to 45 minute talk, I had practiced that literally the night before for hours, went through it 10 to 15 times start to finish and just really, really became a master of that talk. What that does for you when you get that prepared is it allows you to go off the cuff, right It allows you to, if somebody derails you a little bit, you know exactly where you don't have to use your brain anymore to actually think about things. You're just on autopilot and you can bring it right back in. And he was like, okay, yeah, I get that. I get that. So, you know, I'm hoping next time that he hill, you know, go through and practice a little bit more. And how does that relate back to being a dad Well, let's be honest as as a dad, if, if we're not cognizant, if we're not preparing ourselves to be the best dad possible, man, I get curve balls every single day from my kids and when I'm not on my game, I trip up and I fall hard. And, and whether that's falling into old habits, whether that's losing my temper, whether that's not responding properly, if I'm not in tune with, with what needs to be done, it falls apart fairly quick.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And I think what we've talked about on previous podcasts who really helps with as being prepared now we're not going to be giving presentations to our kids and stuff like that. But mental preparedness. When you do have those situatio
|Feb 25, 2019
My 9 Year Old Said What!?
Speaker 1: This is Rad Dad Secrets, episode 11 my nine year old said, what!?
Speaker 2: So the big question is this. How do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting, who only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets. Welcome back everyone. This is Jefferson and Eric. This is rad dead secrets. And I wanted to start off this podcast by telling a little story. So a couple blood days ago,
Speaker 1: my wife and I, we were sitting down with our kids and we were kind of going over it, a little discussion on how to right the wrong and how to make things right after you've done something wrong. So we, you know, we went through the discussion and I, we figured that it was all over and we go to stand up and, and everyone goes and they start doing their homework or start, you know, taking a bath and stuff like that. And I got up to do the dishes and I was sitting there doing the dishes and my nine year old came up to me and said, dad, I have something to tell you. And I said, okay, what do you need to tell me sweetie And she was, she was kind of quiet about it because she didn't want anyone else to hear. During our discussion, we kind of, my wife and I kind of said almost, have you, have you seen that episode of the office where Michael Michael Scott, the manager of the office
Speaker 1: Yeah, the branch manager. He gets up and he says, Hey, this is the time right now to, you've got immunity. If you've done something wrong in the office, let me know. You know, and there's, there's this, this lady, this Meredith gets up and she just says something horrible like, and everyone's like, uh, she needs to be punished. And Mike was like, no, she's got immunity. I said that. So I kind of felt like that because my wife and I, we said, look, if you guys, if you, if you've ever done anything wrong, come up to us and tell us and let's write this wrong and let's move on for him. Let's grow from this. And so she came up to me, she's like, I need to tell you something. Um, I've been using bad language at school. Ooh. And I'm like, what do you mean you've been using bad language at school, Sweetie, you're nine years old.
Speaker 1: So we go from the kitchen and I, and I take it back to the room creating this podcast and in doing research on, on dads and, and how can I become a better dad My blood was boiling, but at the same time I was like, okay, I've got to, I've got to stay composed. I need to approach this in the, in the correct way. Right. One of our, one of our mottos is discipline with love, not with anger. And so going to the go into the bedroom, she, she basically explains to me that she's been using some, some bad language of school. I'm not going to get into the language. I said, okay sweetie, why, why would you use those words And she's like, I don't know. And I, you know, I'm trying to get these answers out of us, like our other kids using these words.
Speaker 1: And she's like, yes. And I said, okay. So I basically diffuse the situation and I did it lovingly. I, as much as I just wanted to just lay into her, I didn't, I said, okay, let's write this wrong. Can you promise to me that you won't use those languages Can you be the example at school for other kids by using correct language and good language And she said, yes, dad. And so yeah. So it got me thinking though after, after she left, it got me thinking about a couple of things. Number one, I have always said that I want to be the one to teach my kids. I do not want the world to teach my kids. I did not want other influences. Teaching my kids, taking the responsibility as a parent, as a father, I am going to be the one to teach my kids
|Feb 22, 2019
Vision - You Are The Architect of Your Future
Speaker 1: Hey, what's up everybody This is Eric and Jefferson. You're listening to Rad Dad Secrets episode 10 you are the architect of your future,
Speaker 3: so the big question is this. How do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting who only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets. All right, everybody. Glad to have you back on and we're excited for today. I know on the last EP
Speaker 1: facade we mentioned today we're going to be talking about something super critical, super exciting. Your vision, and this is one that I'm super passionate about and it's one that I go back to an address on a very consistent basis. It's vision is powerful. It literally creates your future. I remember when I was dating, my wife decided that I was going to ask her to marry me. He called her dad. That was not the easiest thing I've ever done in my life. But he said yes, and I was like, sweet, obviously doesn't know me just getting, but to propose, I want to do something crazy, super cheesy because that's kind of who I am. So I created these like vision board type things, you know, I put some pictures of us while we were dating and I said just dating and I put some pictures of us while we were engaged and then some pictures on a different papers that just married and then some pictures on a different one saying you know us in the future.
Speaker 1: Right. And so I kind of presented these pictures to her, gave her some flowers, propose you, you, you assume the sale. I like that. Yeah. Right. Well I had already kind of gotten the sale sold before I actually proposed that I, I wasn't that risky. So anyway, I give her these with, with no real intent behind these pictures, these collages that I made for her and, and I learned later on that that's basically a vision board. Right. What's your super duper powerful I didn't know it at the time, but what's interesting about six or seven years later, we were going through stuff. We were moving and we're going through our boxes. I pull them out and I look at them and the just married. I had, you know, I'd put a picture of us with a dog with a cat, with a certain kind of car with this, that and the other. And seven years into it, I would say about 90% of everything that was on that picture had come completely true. Completely true. And it's just, it's what I had envisioned us doing once we got married. It was in that moment really that I had the Aha moment and the power of creating a vision. And since that time I was like, dude, if that worked, I'm going to continue to do this. So making vision boards, sitting down, envisioning with my wife and creating that has been a part of a part of our from then on.
Speaker 4: Yeah. It's crazy to think that just by doing that you can, you can, like you said in the very beginning, you can become the architect of your future. You can plan your future even though you have no idea how everything's going to work out. That's what I love about visions is you just set that out there. You said it like you, like it's already done. Like you already have it. You already have it and it's crazy how it works, but I'm the same thing. I, I've done vision boards in the past and it's the same thing. As long as you're working towards that, you can't just set it there and put this collage. Are you up in this vision board and just, and just look at it every day and do nothing, right. You have to have action. There's a quote that I like. Um, vision without action is merely a dream action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world. And that is so true because you can't just sit there, you know, have this vision a
|Feb 18, 2019
A Rad Family Comes From Me, Not To Me
Speaker 1: Hey Rod Dads, this is Rad dad secrets. Episode number nine. Arad family comes from me not to.
Speaker 2: So the big question is this, how do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting, who only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad's secrets, a red dads. So we want to talk to day about beliefs. And I want to start out with a little story, a little backstory here.
Speaker 1: Um, both Eric and I are were, were chiropractors. And when I first got into my business, I didn't feel like I had a lot of confidence. And I think a lot of that will stemming from my belief system when I was growing up and how to, I don't know where it came from. I, I haven't received any, uh, any therapy or anything on this. But looking back on it, hindsight being 20, 20, I feel like some of that came from beliefs, beliefs that I had. And so just like any good athlete, any good business person that wants to get to that next level, I hired a coach and this coach of mine, he was, I, I remember our very first conversation, he, he's this guy from Jersey. He had this really thick Jersey accent. His name was Joe and I looked him up on the Internet.
Speaker 1: He was a, he was a big bite. He was a bodybuilder. And so I just envisioned this guy, I could still hear his voice in my head, just as big guy. And, uh, one of the first things he ever said to me was this. He said, Jefferson, my favorite ten two letter words are if it is to be, it is up to me. And when he first said that, I kind of was like, did you just have like a, did you just have a mini stroke Are you okay And you know, then he, then he gets into, you know, what, what that's all about. And it's all about your belief system. Like if you believe that you're going to be successful, you're going to be successful. But I, I mean I thought it was really interesting how he, how we started out on working on working on me and working on my belief system because is that if we don't get that straight, you're not going to be successful at all. I guarantee it. You might make a little bit of money, but you're going to struggle your entire career if you don't. No for a surety that you are going to be successful. That just kind of the kind of hit me at first, but then getting into it and, and really learning how to change my beliefs. Uh, it was huge. That was, that was the game changer. Uh, at the beginning of the podcast, we, you know, we, we titled this a Rad Awesome. Does not
Speaker 3: come to you. Oh, Rad. Awesome family comes from you and your belief system. So Jefferson, you're dropping bombs like the those and I just counted on all 10 of my fingers if it is up, if it is to be, it is up to me that literally is ten two letter words that are so, so deep. So that's awesome. And then it really, it doesn't come to you. It comes from you. And that that goes for so many different aspects of life. When you talk about your beliefs, your, your beliefs literally control your behavior, right If you don't like one of your behaviors, then you need to look at your beliefs. What are you believing that's causing that behavior And uh, one of the coolest things you just said too is with your beliefs, you, we have a lot of beliefs that we don't realize that we have.
Speaker 3: We're holding onto these beliefs internally and it's controlling so much of what we do and, and how we are acting, whether with our family, at work, on our own, whatever it is. But it really, it's introspection. It's, it's being able to really think deep and figure out what do I believe, what are my beliefs And once you figure out the beliefs, the coolest part about this, Wayne Dyer has a quote tha
|Feb 14, 2019
Use Your Trials to Make You Stronger - Interview with Dr. William Wagnon
Speaker 1: All right, what's up all your Rad dads. This is episode eight and I've got a special interview for you guys.
Speaker 2: So the big question is this, how do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting will only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets. All right everybody. Welcome to the podcast. I told you have a very special interview in that we do and the man that we're interviewing today happens to be a totally rad, bad and not just that
Speaker 1: he happens to be the biggest hero in my life and it's my dad and I was lucky enough and blessed to have a dad that was as amazing as him that taught me everything that guided me. Married an awesome woman, took good care of her four kids. The best part. He has a huge story because he had no example and he did this completely on his own and completely I Marvel at what he has done and it's something that I think we can all glean from his wisdom and what he has done and I want to introduce to you guys. My Dad, he's a chiropractor, inspired me to be a chiropractor. Dr William Wagnon. Welcome Dad.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: So let's jump right into this. So give us a brief history. Where. Where'd you come from What What made you decide to be a father Give us your story.
Speaker 3: I'll start off fairly brief through other things will pop into my head, but I grew up without a dad. Basically. My father left when I was seven years old. Never time again until I was 39 and I didn't get a Christmas card or not a word from him and so didn't know how to be a father. Really Yeah. But I did know what not to do. Yeah. You know, and after I met your mother, I know that she was absolutely gorgeous. In fact, I could take, take you to the place where I first met her and I remember she was driving a a light blue Volvo, but I knew she was beautiful. She's kind, she's sweet. As I got to know her, I realized that she'd be at it. Fantastic wife and a fantastic mother and she could help me learn what I needed to do, but she could pick up where I was faltering, which I knew there was going to be places.
Speaker 1: I've heard that story many times. I love it. I wish we can go into more detail on that, but what were you hoping. I mean, I know you, you didn't have a father to give you the example and you met my mom and she was awesome. You knew that she'd be kind of the Yin and the Yang. She'd be able to balance out in those ways, and I know you guys have worked together and I've been married 15 years now and I know it's no easy road and parenting and all that, but when you got married, what were you hoping to be able to the most as a dad and before you had kids at what Going into that What were you hoping or wanting to accomplish
Speaker 3: I wanted my children to know who their dad was, what and where he was at all times. One of them I know that I love him with all my heart and as much as I could possibly love anything,
Speaker 3: but I wasn't sure. I was kind of afraid, you know, I had some, some external struggles and trials to go through and it must, like everyone in first gets married. I was 23 year old and your mother turned 21 four days after three days after we got married. I struggle with a lot of things, you know, making money, how to support, going to school at the same time always held down a job. I have to pay the rent. Uncertainty of, you know, how to provide for me and my wife and the struggle of possibly bringing children in, which we knew we do sometime and so it was kind of a gamble on my part and not having that example, but the internal struggle that I had,
|Feb 11, 2019
Speaker 1: What's up everybody This is Rad dad secrets, episode seven. Have you interviewed your kids
Speaker 2: So the big question is this, how do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting will only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets.
Speaker 3: All right everybody. I'm here and I'm here with Eric Wagner and we were talking
Speaker 1: a while ago about something that, that Eric does that I think is really cool. Then I'm going to implement it into my family. He basically. Well, you know what I'm going to let him explain what he does with his kids. Eric, go ahead. Take it away. All right, so. So here's, here's what I started doing and I had heard about it a while ago, but honestly started at the beginning of this year and it is literally one of the best things I have done as a dad. So one of the things that I'm noticing and everybody tells me is that your kids grow up really, really ridiculously fast, right And it's happening right before my eyes. I have a 13 year old, five years is going to be 18 and heading out of the house, you know, in our church, we typically serve missions between 18, 19 years old.
Speaker 1: He's going to be gone just like that. So it's happening fast. And the problem is that as your kids get older, that you start to have this gap of communication, right And I'm starting to notice it with my team where it's getting a little bit more difficult to communicate. And there's moments where I'm like, okay, aliens have abducted my child and they left somebody else in his place because this is not the same kid. Um, he's definitely still in there, but the communication is getting a little bit more difficult. And the thing I started doing is a weekly interview now these interviews, it's not so much important exactly how I do it. I think as I explained this, I want you guys, everybody's listening. I want you to get your own style. I want you to get your own flavor. You're a personality mixed with your children and figure out this, this interview style that's going to be for you.
Speaker 1: And I used the word interview, but I mean really it's a friendly chat session where where everything is safe. So I'll explain a little bit, but the purpose behind this, you want to start them young and if your kids are already old, you know what the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. When's the second best time Right now you're, you're, there's this gap, right And you want to bridge the gap of communication so that when they're teens, there is no gap. The communication is completely there. When you start doing these interviews, you're essentially, they learned that you're their friend, right And I know in the last we talked about being a parent first and you can never forget that, but it's super critical that you're also their friend and when you do these interviews, they're going to realize that you're, you're their friend, you're easy to talk to because kids don't think you're easy to talk to you.
Speaker 1: I remember growing up thinking it was really hard to talk to my parents at times, but they're going to think you're easy to talk to. It builds trust and it shows them that you truly do care, and I'm going to tell you what these interviews are not, so this is not a time to discipline or criticize your children to sit there and point out their faults and you want to make sure that they're aware that no feelings and no thoughts are off limit. Everything's fair game right There's no judgments in that room. What happens in the interview stays in the interview to build that competence, one of the important things too is to make sure that they're&
|Feb 04, 2019
Speaker 1: What's up everybody This is Eric and Jefferson coming at you with episode number five. Start with why and find your purpose as a dad
Speaker 2: So the big question is this, how do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting will only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets. Hey, every body, Jefferson harmon here. I'm here with Eric Wagner, who want to kind of go over something that's pretty important to us. Should be
Speaker 1: I'm a huge Tony Robbins guy. I listen to a podcast a while back and he was talking with this individual about having an extraordinary life is an extraordinary dad life possible for you. You know, is. How do you define that Is it different for everybody Can you achieve it What does fulfillment as a father look like to you As he was talking with this individual It basically led him to this statement that he said, you have to start with your why. The why is the key to this is is the key to success. You have to find something that you value more than yourself. It's not all about you. In fact, when you make it, when you make it about you, it does not work, so you need to find your passion. What are you passionate about What gets you going What wakes you up in the morning, and then you just want to scream like, oh my gosh, I love today.
Speaker 1: Today's going to rock. What is that If you don't have that, find somebody that does have passion. Find somebody that has passion. Surround yourself with that person and figure out like, why What, what makes them tick I think you need to model what works, right If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Success leaves clues, and so what we want to go through today is just some, some things on how to figure out what your why is. If you already have that figured out, things that you can do on a daily basis that get you waking up in the morning excited about life, excited about being a dad, excited about, about being a productive member of society. If you guys can't tell I'm. This subject gets me jacked up like I am a. my wife calls me a self-help junkie. Like I love reading and listening to stuff that helps me become a better person.
Speaker 1: Jefferson, you know what you said that I loved. Success leaves clues and you got to figure out what your why is. Find that purpose. And I took a course a couple years ago, I think I mentioned in a previous podcast, but what it did for me in six, I'm. I'm a self help junkie too. I love the stuff and what this course did for me is, is I took these clues that all this success left for me, but I had to do the work myself. Right And you, if you haven't done the work for yourself, you've got to do that. And I'm gonna tell you right now, it's not always easy to figure this stuff out, but when you dig deep, when you really dig deep and find and think, figure out what your beliefs are, figure out what your purpose as a father is because I guarantee you have one.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be listening to this right now if you didn't have a purpose as a father and maybe you already know it, maybe you don't, I don't know, but if you haven't written it down, you have got to get that pen to paper and take the time. Sit down and really think about what your purpose is, your personal purpose as a father to your children. What is that What does that look like and what does that mean to you To me it means it means the world, and I do have this written out. I took a ton of time. I'm not going to read through everything here, but I will tell you a few of the things that I have written down right here in front of me and a few of the things, my my purpose as a dad come
|Jan 28, 2019
Speaker 1: Hey everyone, welcome to Rad Dad Secrets. This is episode six, parent first, friend second.
Speaker 3: So the big question is how do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting will only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets. All right guys,
Speaker 1: so happy to be here with you guys. And glad you guys are joining us today. We've got an awesome topic today called parent and friend. Second. So my buddy Jefferson over here, um, came up with this idea for this podcast and I think it's golden. So why don't you start us off here, Jefferson
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I, I read this on facebook. It was one of these little memes that uh, I'll just read right here, says my promise to my children for as long as I live, I will always be your parent first. And your friend second, I will stock you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare and hunt you down like a blonde bloodhound when I have to, because I love you. When you understand that I will know you have become a responsible adult. You will never find anyone else in your life who loves praise, cares and worries about you more than I do. If you don't matter, or if you don't mutter under your breath, I hate you at least once in your life. I'm not going. I'm not doing my job properly. Parts of this. I agree with that. I don't. I don't. Yes, I, I've always said, you know, if you're not making your kid hate you at least once a week, you're not doing your job. You know, it Kinda goes back to kind of marketing. You know what I was going to say that taken at least one person off by by noon. You're not doing your job right. I don't necessarily agree with that, but I do agree with the idea of parent first and then be be their friend second.
Speaker 1: One of the things that stuck out to me on that really quick, I just want to throw it I the older I get, the more respect I have for some of the things that my parents did, I was like, Oh man, I did not get why they were so strict on this or they wouldn't let me do that or this happened and I didn't get it, and now all of a sudden, and I'm sure a lot of you guys listening can relate to this, but you're parenting your kids and you're like, what the heck just happened I was my dad for a second, and sometimes that's good. Sometimes it's not good, but either way you start to value and see why your parents did certain things and you start to understand. So just when it said, once you come to grips with why your parents did all this stuff, that's when you become an adult. So I guess in the last maybe year or so I became an adult. I don't know. I'm 39 now, but just getting there. Anyway, just wanted to throw that in there. I liked that. That was really cool.
Speaker 2: I feel like society right now has a lot of parent friends. What, what should we call them Fragrance for. That's not a very good word, but we'll, we'll come up with a word and yeah, we'll uh, we'll coined the term prints, prints. I like that. And what happens is we're raising a society that does not respect authority because they were not taught how to respect authority because they're, their parents were, you know, whether it's to the teachers, whether it's just to um, to police were, I mean, whatever it is, authority, they're not teaching them properly how to respect them. And so basically I went in an article I read, they, this person broke down, parents parenting into kind of two roles and emotional role and a functional role. And they said, um, they, they explained it really well when we are babies, we need both of those, you know, we needed our parents to fulfill both of those roles. And so
|Jan 22, 2019
Speaker 1: up everybody Welcome to another episode of Rad bad secrets. This is episode four.
Speaker 2: Date your kids.
Speaker 3: So the big question is this, how do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting, who only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets.
Speaker 1: I'm eric. I'm here with Jefferson and we're, we're talking about a topic that both of us I think share a lot of passion behind in the reason we share this passions because we both have a lot of experience with it and it has totally changed our relationship with our kids and made one of the biggest differences. I would say I'm with my kids and what I'm seeing in them.
Speaker 2: We have a lot of passion and we have a lot of kids too. So there's a lot of both out a boat.
Speaker 1: So, uh, yeah, the, the way this came about and, and if this is date your kids and the benefit of this is unbelievable. Um, I started doing this. I really made it an absolute priority. Um, probably three or four months ago coming into the new years, I did it off and on and I was like, man, what's the one thing that I do with my kids that builds my relationship and helps me to really connect with them. I was like, man, when I get one on one time with them and I can look them in the eyes, we can do something fun together. The, you know, is their choice, whatever it, it creates this bond. And I see their attitudes changed, their frustrations melts away. They're nicer to their siblings, they listened to me. They do their chores, they do their homework. Everything seems to work better. His life perfect. Absolutely not. But it doesn't make a huge difference in the right direction. Absolutely. It's been absolutely huge.
Speaker 2: And I actually stole this idea from you. I think when the first time we met you were talking about different things that you do with your kids and you've said that you, every Thursday you and your wife a rotate through the kids and when we both have an odd number of kids, so it works out perfect by the time we get through all of our kids, the next go around we're going on a different, it's a different track and so you take a different kid out. So, um, yeah, we stole this from you and we actually stole the night as well every Thursday night. And My, my, my wife just again it was, it was the new year and my wife just put down every single Thursday. I think we haven't planned out for I think the year. Um, but we on the calendar, right. It's just, it's there in ink, it's pinned on the calendar. Even if it's something, go
Speaker 1: to a someplace to get a shake, you know, just something really, really basic and really easy. Yeah, absolutely. And so, I mean some, some of the benefits that I've noticed, um, and some of the great perks to taking your kids out on these dates on a weekly basis and I think that's the key. Like you just said, get it on your calendar. I mean if it's this idea, which it was before, and I have it on my calendar every single week now as well throughout the entire year. Um, before it was on the calendar, it was like this idea, like I should take my kids out and spend some time with them. But man, life happens. Like there's not time to do that unless you make the time. And it doesn't take a whole lot of time. I mean, my goodness, how valuable are your kids to you and what do you want them to grow up to be
Speaker 1: Do you want society raising your kids or do you want to raise your kids yourself And this is one opportunity that you do not want to pass up for us. Thursday night is perfect. I think it's a great night in general to be able to set some time a
|Jan 15, 2019
Meet Jefferson Harmon Co-Founder Totally Rad Dads
Speaker 2: So the big question is this, how do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting will only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets.
Speaker 4: Hey, what's up while you read dad's out there. I appreciate you being here listening to this podcast. We've got a special one for you today. If you have you been listening to the podcast, uh, the, the previous podcast, definitely after this one, go back and listen to that. We're interviewing, um, Jefferson harmon today. He interviewed me last last podcast and we're going to get to know Jefferson harmon on a, on a deeper level here. Gets know what makes him tick. And, uh, let's jump right into it. So, Jefferson, what, uh, give us, give us an intro of yourself. Who, who are you And uh, what are you all about
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm, I'm Jefferson harmon. I met my wife in college. We'd been married for 14 years. We've got five kids. I started my chiropractic office, my practice in southern Oregon in 2012. Um, and basically I, I, I spend time with my wife and kids. I mean, that's, that's what I love to do. That's what, that's what drives me, my family is my why and, and that's, that's what keeps me ticking. That's awesome.
Speaker 4: And I think that's so true for all of our listeners here to where the family is our wire at our kids, our wives make us tick. So what, uh, one thing that we love is a talking about quotes, things that motivates you, something that's meaning to you and, and, uh, are, are there any quotes, any, any sayings or anything like that that give meaning to your life
Speaker 1: My wife and I actually came up with this quote and uh, it's just kind of a little phrase that we use. We say newlyweds for life and what that means is everybody goes through that phase when they first get married, right That blissful newlywed. Oh, you know, I'm so in love with you and, and everything, everything is bliss. But then we lose it, we lose it. And for some reason we lose that feeling, you know, we, we get back to reality and so like, oh, wow, okay. Or life is kind of a kind of boring and it kind of sucks. But my wife and I decided why, why do we have to do that Why don't we have to lose that And so we came up with this newly weds for life and I, we live by that daily, like why I want to remain, I want to remain in that state of bliss with my wife throughout my life, not just for the first couple of months of marriage.
Speaker 1: So we came up with that and uh, that's what we live by. And another one of my favorite quotes, and I think this, uh, this speaks to me as a parent is a, it's actually by the great philosophizer Mike Tyson says everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face. And so, I mean, this especially speaks to me as a father and as a parent because inevitably we have this, this idea of how life and how parenting is going to go, uh, and then reality sets in, you know, this, this, this plan, the plan we have out and laid out is not, it never really goes how we want and so we all have this plan and then we get punched in the face. And what are we going to do about it when we do get punched in the face You know, I think that's a, that makes us stronger once we get through those punches and uh, if it doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.
Speaker 1: A men too, that both of those, man, those are both powerful. I love that newlyweds. Why not, right I mean, why, I mean everybody has, there's the social norm that after you're married for awhile, marriage just gets boring and it gets busy and things get dull. Why Why Right I mean, let's, let's change that paradigm and it's all, it's all your belief system
|Jan 15, 2019
Getting Real about Fatherhood with Rad Dad Eric Wagnon
So the big question is this, how do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting, who only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets. Welcome to Rad Dad Secrets, episode number two. We thought in the next couple of episodes what we would do is kind of introduce ourselves. And so, uh, my name is Jefferson harmon and I am going to actually want to be interviewing Eric Wagnon. I'm the CO founder of Totally Rad Dads and red dead secrets, the podcast. So, Eric, what, who are you?
Who Am So I am a middle aged man. I'm, no, I've, I, so I've been married for 14 years, going on 15 and April. Um, we have had six children over those 14 and a half years, um, ranging from our oldest is 13 every couple of years down to five year old twins. They just turned five literally on Thursday, two days ago, which you guys are going to be listening to this later on. But Anyway, um, I've been a chiropractor now for 10 years, had my own practice. Um, and I am the co founder of totally Rad dads and a really, if I had to say what my passion in life is, my passion in life is helping other people. It sounds Cliche, it sounds weird, but I, I get, I get my fulfillment by educating and helping other people too, to better their lives, which is why I became a chiropractor. I wanted to be able to help people in some way. I am in. The crazy thing is I feel that. So when I was, when I came up with this idea of, of totally Rad dad's, I was just thinking to myself, who can I bring into this to help me with this, to help me take this to two people And uh, Eric was&am
|Jan 15, 2019
Rad Dad Secrets - The Beginning
So the big question is this, how do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting will only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers.
This is Rad Dad Secrets Secrets, episode number one. My name is Jefferson harmon. I am a dad of five kids. I've been married for 14 years and I live in southern Oregon and I'm Eric Wagnon and I have been married for 14 years as well. We've had six kids. I live in a little town called Rocklin in northern California just outside of Sacramento and we're happy to have you guys here, we're absolutely stoked out of our minds to be getting this going and getting our first episode up and running. And what we wanted to do is start out and tell you guys where we came up with the name totally Rad dads and we're, we're stoked about it. I'm simply because dads are age typically grew up in the eighties and nineties. And Rad was like the raddest word of all. I mean, that was, that was that you could use it for almost anything. It just depicted the best. Right And I think that's as dads what we all want to be. Do we want to be totally Rad. So that's where the name came from. It. My, my buddy over here, the cofounder, Jefferson Harmon, he, uh, he actually called me one day with this idea of uh, he, he initially was like, dude, preserving fatherhood, you know, we've got to have that. And so I. where'd you, how'd you initially come up with the idea for preserving Father had jeff, I don't know where it came to me one day and I just said, man, preserving fatherhood. I think that's a really good, really good name. I think fathers nowadays are, are being, you know, kind of taken through the mud and we're just kind of viewed as mumbling, mumbling idiots and not really necessary here, um, you know, in society. So I came up with that name and then, uh, when we, when we first met a man a couple of months ago and started brainstorming ideas about what, how we wanted this course to go or this, this, this, this thing to go, uh, we kind of went away from preserving fatherhood that didn't, that didn't resonate with us well as a native. I remember I googled it and it sounded awesome. I was like, preserving, heck yeah dude. We to preserve fatherhood. And I googled it. A bunch of sperm banks started popping up on my feed. I was like, Ooh, I don't know if I'm preserving fatherhood right. And uh, I, I don't know who came up with that was it, I don't know if it was me or if it, if it was you and all of a sudden it just came to me or us and it was totally Rad Dads. That's like, wow, that, that, to me as a dad as an eighties kid. Oh, I'm totally on board with this. Amen brother. No. And so we're stoked about the name. Um, but you, you went into it a little bit when you talked about why you came or where this idea came from and when you called me, I mean, it gave me goosebumps, like literally it gave me goosebumps and I was like, man, this is so much bigger than us, you know, and we're, we're a couple of regular dads, right We're, we're trying our hardest where we're tripping up everywhere. We're struggling but we're pushing through it and you know, we've gone through some hard times, but we've, both gone the extra mile and try to learn and become better and better and, and uh, we want to be able to share that with you and also, you know, through our facebook page, have you guys share some insights with us and help each other along the way.
But why the podcast I mean, going back to it. I mean, you mentioned dads are portrayed as these bumbling, expendable chumps, right And, and I mean if you look, if you watch TV shows, and this is not just today, but I mean go back even when we were kids. I mean, look at the simpsons, you have got homer Simpson married wi
|Jan 15, 2019