Mating Matters

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Dr. Wendy Walsh uses science, personal interviews and pop culture to reveal that mating strategy is the secret evolutionary motivation for most every human behavior. Let’s face it, we are wired to reproduce. So powerful is this instinct that it has secretly embedded itself in almost every human behavior. Even when we are not thinking about sex, our ancient programming makes us respond to reproductive cues that impact just about every decision we make. Using evolutionary psychology, Mating Matters examines relationships, sexuality, and how society and culture shape human behavior. Dr. Wendy Walsh looks at the biological, psychological and sociological underpinnings of love, attachment and gender dynamics. Visit for more. Please be aware this podcast talks scientifically about topics that include sex, violence and other aspects of the human condition that may be challenging. Adult language is used periodically. Mating Matters Message Line: 323-207-8277

Episode Date
The Evolution of Epstein
Uber wealthy millionaire Jeffrey Epstein has a thing for girls. Epstein has been arrested a second time on charges of sex trafficking in Florida and now also in New York. He was sentenced in 2008 to 18 months in a Palm Beach "jail," but ended up doing 13. (It was anything but hard time.)&nbsp;<br><br>Dr. Wendy Walsh digs through the evolutionary reason a man with boundless resources goes to the dark side. And despite a bottomless stash of cash, he and other men like him can't do it alone. You know what, though? Times. They are a-changin'.<br><br>Mating Matters is a podcast that includes and examines content meant for adults. It may not be appropriate for younger listeners.<br><br>Mating Matters Message Line: 323-207-8277 We are asking for a tough one, but it's important. We are looking for men who have committed a sexual assault. Anyone speaking with us will be kept anonymous.
Jul 10, 2019
Listeners Talk: Pornography Trigger
Listeners Talk is a series of full interviews with Mating Matters fans who have called our message line. Ashli has had some troubling times over the years in her relationships because of pornography. She contacted Dr. Wendy for some clarity and advice. We used some of her interview in Pornography Mindf**k, but, truly, the conversation she had with Dr. Wendy was so great and it's about something that is affecting so many people, we thought we'd just let you all be the fly on the wall and maybe glean a little something extra from the full interview. Enjoy!<br><br>Thank you, Ashli, for being so open and candid. It's a topic so many people find difficult to talk about.<br><br>**Note: This interview has been slightly edited for quality and relevance.<br><br><em>Our Mating Matters Message Line is 323-207-8277</em>&nbsp;<br>Listener Call Out: If you have anything to say about <strong>polyamory</strong> or <strong>different reasons, women, you have sex</strong>, please share. <br><br>When you call, try to find a quiet place with a good connection just in case we want to use your voice. Plug in your ear buds, the microphone sounds pretty darn good! <br> <br>You can find all transcripts and full episodes <a href=""><strong><em>HERE</em></strong></a><strong><em>!</em></strong><br><br><br><br><br><br>
Jun 19, 2019
Pornography Mindf**k
Pornography. It feels like it’s everywhere. And the debate about porn keeps heating up. Is porn addictive? Are our relationships being hurt or helped by pornography? Why did humans evolve to copulate with a screen? Well, it's definitely complicated. Pornography might simply be what is known to scientists who study sexual behavior in other animal species as a "mating error." <br><br><em>Our Mating Matters Message Line is 323-207-8277</em> <br>If you have anything to say about<strong> breaking up, including break up styles and skills - are you really good or really bad at it?, stalking or being stalked</strong>, please share. <br><br>When you call, try to find a quiet place with a good connection just in case we want to use your contribution. Plug in your ear buds! The microphone sounds pretty darn good. <br> <br>You can find all transcripts and full episodes <a href=""><strong><em>HERE</em></strong></a><strong><em>!</em></strong>
Jun 05, 2019
Mean Girls, Gold Diggers and Sluts
You know them; you've seen them; maybe you're even one of them. All the gossip, trash talk and slut shaming nearly every woman has grown up with? It actually has a reproductive purpose. The same kinds of female disses take place across our entire species around the world and have been from the beginning of time. But the truly tricky part is that women actually need each other...badly! From the early days of our species’ evolution, it was a circle of women practicing co-operative parenting who really kept the tribe together. They shared food, protection, emotional support, babysitting duties, and sometimes even men. But, to this day, we never share one of those without a fight.&nbsp;<br><br>Mating Matters Message Line: 323-207-8277<br><br>Hot Tip: When you call, try to find a quiet place with a good connection just in case we want to use your contribution; use your ear buds, the microphone sounds pretty darn good.<br><br><br><br>
May 29, 2019
BONUS: Beware the Silver Medal
Did you already know that to your brain there is no difference between physical pain and emotional pain? There's a scientific reason people describe hurt feelings as a slap in the face or a punch in the gut - it's real. Dr. Wendy explains the importance of social integration, finding your tribe, and looking down when you're feeling bad - especially when you're finding your mate. Oh, the silver medal? For some, that would be a slap in the face.<br><br>Mating Matters Message Line: 323-207-8277<br><br>Hot Tip: When you call, try to find a quiet place with a good connection just in case we want to use your contribution; use your ear buds, the microphone sounds pretty darn good.&nbsp;
May 22, 2019
BONUS: An Alpha and His Junk Food Sex
A listener called in to ask Dr. Wendy for some advice about his rampant promiscuity. At almost 7-feet tall. our friend says he went from high school "freak" to college basketball golden boy and the ladies lined up. He's been taking advantage of the sexual opportunities, but he says he isn't any happier than all of the guys he knows who can't even get a date. Men, is he living the dream? You may be surprised by what he says is lacking. Ladies, is he a dog? What's a young, single guy to do when women are throwing themselves at him? <br><br>A special thanks to this incredible listener for speaking with Dr. Wendy so honestly and openly. Like a true alpha, he took a risk. Thank you for trusting us.<br><br>Mating Matters Message Line: 323-207-8277<br><br>Hot Tip: When you call, try to find a quiet place with a good connection just in case we want to use your contribution; plug in your ear buds, the microphone sounds pretty darn good. <br><br>Song "Junk Food Sex" is by Beans on Toast. To hear more of his music, click <a href=";v=A"><strong><em>HERE</em></strong></a><strong><em>!</em></strong><br> <br>Also, you can now find all TRANSCRIPTS of the regular episodes, <a href=""><strong><em>HERE</em></strong></a><strong><em>!</em></strong>
May 16, 2019
BONUS: The Chosen One
The genes we inherit from our ancestors may set us up for emotional and relationship challenges, but that doesn't mean we are doomed. Biology is not destiny. Dr. Wendy gets in to some new research on intergenerational psychology. If you have unexplained anxiety and depression, you may be carrying trauma from your family's past. You may be "The Chosen One" in your clan to investigate your family's history and heal your family today. But not to worry! It's a gift.<br><br>Mating Maters Message Line: 323-207-8277<br><br>Research Links:<br><a href=""><strong>Study Of Holocaust Survivors Finds Trauma Passed On To Children's Genes</strong></a><strong><br></strong><a href=""><strong>Nongenomic Transmission Across Generations of Maternal Behavior and Stress Responses in the Rat</strong></a><a href=""><strong>Biological pathways for historical trauma to affect health: A conceptual model focusing on epigenetic modifications</strong></a><a href=""><strong>Sex-Specific Programming of Offspring Emotionality Following Stress Early in Pregnancy</strong></a><a href=""><strong>Epigenetic Influence of Social Experiences Across the Lifespan</strong></a><strong><br><br></strong>Also, you can now find all TRANSCRIPTS of the regular episodes, <a href=""><strong><em>HERE</em></strong></a><strong><em>!</em></strong>
May 08, 2019
BONUS: Mating Message of Interracial Hots
In this BONUS tweener (between episodes) Dr. Wendy explores race in evolution and in love, What turns you on? Why? Well, believe it or not for once there is a pretty simple answer! Can't give it all away, but let's just say a joyful squeal from mom might have something to do with it.<br><br>We love hearing from you. Thanks to everyone who has called to tell us what they like, would prefer, and want to hear more of. Speaking of callers...<br><br>Our Mating Matters Message Line is 323-207-8277. If you have anything to say about <strong>pornography</strong>, please share. No judgement, just human behavior. You can talk about you, your significant other, a friend - doesn't matter. What's going on? How often do you watch or indulge? Do you feel like it's getting in the way of your relationship somehow? Can you still enjoy sex with a person? Could you stop? <br><br>When you call, try to find a quiet place with a good connection just in case we want to use your contribution. Plug in your ear buds! The microphone sounds pretty darn good. Heads up, the message recording will cut you off after 3 minutes.<br> <br>Also, you can now find all TRANSCRIPTS and the episodes, of course, <a href=""><strong><em>HERE</em></strong></a><strong><em>!</em></strong>
May 02, 2019
The Price of Manhood
What does it mean to be a man? Why did uber masculine behavior evolve in the first place? Is there a mating advantage? Spoiler alert. There used to be an advantage, but the environment is changing and men are adapting to a different kind of hunting ground. Way back in 1874 Charles Darwin had human mating figured out. In fact, he once wrote “if each male secures two or more females, many males cannot pair.” That’s the biggest fear of any man. No guy wants to be the one who misses out on mating.<br><br>Please be aware this episode contains strong language and content regarding domestic violence and sexual assault..<br><br>Mating Matters Message Line: 323-207-8277<br><br>Links:<br>Tony Porter, TEDWomen 2010, "A Call to Men" -<br>Justin Baldoni, TEDWomen 2017, "Why I'm done trying to be 'man enough'" -<br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
Apr 24, 2019
Mothers, MILF's & Wives - Part 2
There’s probably no deeper, heart-wrenching emotional experience for women than the feelings that surround reproduction. Hope for a baby, the loss of a baby, the joy of a baby, the worry over a baby, and the feelings of sadness when a woman’s fertility window closes with no baby in sight. The risks and burden of reproduction seem to fall unfairly on women who face the challenges of survival with children in tow, and sometimes have to make heart-breaking decisions. This isn’t new. Our cave-women ancestors also faced harsh environments -- a famine a millennium ago has become a recession and job loss today.&nbsp;<br><br>Mating Matters Message Line: 323-207-8277<br><br>
Apr 17, 2019
Mothers, MILF's & Wives - Part 1
Motherhood is tricky. That's because motherhood is all about sacrifices and...worry. They worry about health, shelter, nutrition, education, and money. Despite this, about 80% of women become mothers one way or another, and most of the others are mothers to the village. Women have long had plenty of reproductive choices - if they have a baby, when they have a baby, with whom they have a baby, whether that baby will survive, and whether they’ll care for their own or others. If you’re a woman, there are plenty of ways to keep your genes in evolution’s chain or raise the species as a whole.&nbsp;<br><br>Mating Matters Message Line: 323-207-8277<br><br><br><br>
Apr 10, 2019
BONUS: Mating Messages of Status and Sexuality
Mating Matters has busted out a new message line for people to ask questions and tell stories. While we're super busy producing more episodes for you, we thought we could cover some other territory in the meantime. On this BONUS episode, Dr. Wendy focuses on two interesting calls she has received - one about how a short man can raise his dating status in this new world of trigger swiping dating apps; the other from a woman who got married young to a man she loves deeply, but has never been sexually attracted to. After ten years of marriage, they decided to switch to a poly amorous relationship. Tricky? Perhaps, but her actual question, though, may surprise you.<br><br>Mating Matters Message Line: 323-207-8277
Apr 03, 2019
BONUS: Evolution's Hard Truth
Evolution's Hard Truth addresses the fact that "survival of the fittest" can be a tough pill to swallow. About 10% of men never mate and about 18% of women never reproduce. Human mating is an inside job. though, and there are things you can do to make sure you find yourself a mate, if you want one. Dr. Wendy gives some tips on how we can win the mating game by raising our mate status and focusing on things we CAN control. No, you do not need to be rich and great looking, but you do need to get yourself in shape - inside and out - to be the person another person wants to be with. Use your single time to do important personal work so you're ready when someone special comes along.<br><br>Mating Matters also has a brand new message line! Call 323-207-8277 to ask Dr. Wendy a question, share your thoughts or tell us a story. We may include your voice on one of our episodes. Please know that by leaving the message you are giving us permission to use it.
Mar 27, 2019
Survival of the Gayest
Ever wonder why same-sex behavior evolved in our species? If we are wired to reproduce, being gay - and theoretically not reproducing - seems like a sure fire way for our species to struggle to exist. For the record, at this point in our evolution, humans still need an egg, sperm and a womb to reproduce. So how have people who may not reproduce stay in our gene pool? Historically, same-sex behavior actually has increased chances for survival. And did you realize heterosexual people have a&nbsp; secret advantage if they have a gay brother or sister? Mother Nature is a perfect planner. And survival of the fittest might also mean survival of the gayest.&nbsp;
Mar 20, 2019
Sexy Money
In this episode of Matting Matters Dr. Wendy explores how the pursuit of money is really pursuit of sex for men, and why it works in reverse for women; why some singles pay more for sexual opportunity than they do for rent; why prostitution rates rise when women are disadvantaged, and why the price of sex drops drastically when women rise in economic power! No matter how you reckon it, sex costs.
Mar 13, 2019
What is Love?
Art imitates life. The science of falling in love involves biological, social and psychological mechanisms. Dr. Wendy breaks down the underpinnings of everyone’s favorite drug - love -using vibrant examples from your favorite movies.&nbsp;
Mar 06, 2019
Dating App-athy
How dating apps can change your brain and bio-hack your evolutionary programming…unless you use them correctly.
Feb 27, 2019
The God Who Clubs
Religions created rules around dating, mating and procreating to increase reproduction and membership. If you don't know someone, but you know they share the same religion, or tribe, there is almost instant trust. Hint: the more punitive the God, the faster a religion grows.&nbsp;
Feb 21, 2019
The Trouble with Testosterone
How this hormone can affect a man’s ability to fall in love, and, in high testosterone men, increase death rates. Why we evolved to have some low testosterone men even while the pharmaceutical industry has turned it into a diagnosis.
Feb 07, 2019
Hidden Eggs (Ep.1)
Concealed fertility in humans has contributed to the sexual double standard, good dads, and strippers who make more money when they ovulate.&nbsp;<br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
Feb 07, 2019