Dear Hank & John

By Complexly

Listen to a podcast, please open Podcast Republic app. Available on Google Play Store.


Category: Comedy

Open in Apple Podcasts


Open RSS feed


Open Website


Rate for this podcast

Subscribers: 2824
Reviews: 27

Davis
 Nov 10, 2020
Great podcast! The personalities of the two amazing hosts really come out in this show in an (almost) perfect way. My only disappointment is that episodes are only released every week. Don't forget to be awesome, everyone. I won't, either.


 Aug 19, 2020
Perfect way to start my week.


 Jul 13, 2020

DoctorX17
 Jun 30, 2020
The best death comedy and Mars/AFC Wimbledon podcast on the internet.


 Apr 28, 2020
delightful

Description

Hosts John and Hank Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring their personal passions to each episode by sharing the week’s news from Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (the third-tier English football club).

Episode Date
279: Live Your Whimsy (w/Farah Alibay!)
00:53:39

How can Mars landings happen in realtime? How will humans keep track of days on Mars? How do I stop imagining mice in books? What's the coolest themed party you've ever attended? Will our radiation kill Martian life? What's it like being a systems engineer for the Perseverance Rover? Hank Green, John Green, and Dr. Farah Alibay have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Mar 01, 2021
278: Popeulation Density
00:40:31

Can a whale use a snorkel? Am I getting one vaccine or two? What is Hank's job? Why do some hoodies have pockets in their pockets? How many popes per square mile does the Vatican have? Is artificial gravity possible? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Feb 15, 2021
277: One Quirk Too Many
00:37:01

Why do American weeks start on Sunday? How long should Christmas decorations stay up? How do I add variety to my life? What's a failure that felt like success? Is it okay to use a gift in its thank you card? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Feb 08, 2021
276: An Onomatopoetic Wifi Explainer
00:44:03

How does science work? Is it rude to turn off the lights while my dog eats? How does wifi work? Do I always dream and just can't remember sometimes? What do I do as an adult? Why do cans explode in the cold but not bottles? Is it okay to get into something good for the wrong reasons? How do I work from home without burning out?  Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Feb 01, 2021
275: What Good Death Quotes
00:41:13

How does public domain work? What is the most common name in human history? Why do we sleep in the dark? What's up with epigraphs in books? When does researching become spying? How are categories useful? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

 

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jan 25, 2021
274: Not and Never Both
00:37:23

Is Benjamin Harrison the exact middle president of the USA? How did you predict a pandemic? Would a younger version of me be able to open my phone? When did we start counting minutes and seconds? Why would a bathrobe have a hood? What are small things humans do that make you happy?  Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jan 18, 2021
273: John's Shark Bite
00:42:02

What is John's emergency scale? What does "profit goes to charity" mean? When do you list someone other than immediate family as an emergency contact? How do I stop thinking about my thoughts? How much money is there in the world? Can planets be other shapes? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jan 11, 2021
272: If It Was A Good Moose
00:37:21

Are Medusa's powers affected by beauty's subjectivity? What's the difference between dry and wet measuring cups?  Have you ever started a blog before? What are some surprisingly edible things? How do I pet a moose? What do you get a baby for Christmas? Where is Gibson and why is your podcast shared there? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Dec 28, 2020
271: The Best Pant (Live at VidCon London w/Hannah Witton!)
00:36:07

How do I make new friends? How do you feel about vulva-print trousers? What do I do while someone is saying hi to my dog? Does organization help you maintain a career with ulcerative colitis? Will people of the future have inaccurate fairs about us? How do you come up with good, engaging content? How do you decide how to spend your time? How do you birthday a person who hates birthdays? Should radar keys be prescribed?  Hank Green and Hannah Witton have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Dec 21, 2020
270: Frailty's Pickle
00:43:02

What do I do when my friends don't invite me places? What are some conversation topics that are impossible to argue about? What do I do if I found my Christmas presents? How do I ensure my friend gets my dead hand? Is human vitamin D production dependent on skin surface area? Where does the phrase "in a pickle" come from? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

 

Time is tickell.
Chaunce is fickell.
Man is brickell.
Freilties pickell.
Poudreth mickell,
Seaſonyng lickell.

-John Heywood, 1562

Dec 14, 2020
269: Into the Future, Vittorio
00:54:26

How do I achieve my dream fridge? What do Danish people call Danish pastries? Is the North Pole a continent or an island? Why are cartoon mice cute? How do cats purr? How does rounding up for charity work? Can I put your voice in a build-a-bear? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Dec 07, 2020
268: How Onion Weight Per Onion
00:39:39

What do I do about a secret snake neighbor? What do I do with excessive root vegetables? How do I respond to someone asking if I'm blushing? Is the Earth at the same point relative to the sun every year? How do hurricanes get named around the world? Will John ever apologize for his Twix betrayal? If you need answers or even just lots of onion-related musings, Hank Green and John Green have what you're looking for!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Dec 01, 2020
267: One From the Archives
00:35:22

How much sand can I take from the beach before it becomes immoral? Are there fossils in space? Where does a pirate accent come from? What's the big city equivalent of a corn field? How do I cut down on screen time? Do I keep tea warm or cool it down?  Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Nov 24, 2020
266: Doin' My Work, Jerk
00:38:33

Why does the Twix company care about left and right Twixes? What would happen if I found dinosaur bones in my backyard? How do I reply to my boss's strange greeting? Did people roll their eyes in the 1800s? When will we need to update our maps for new continents? Do planes fly over Earth's poles or go around? Do Americans really put cream into coffee? Will copies of the Anthropocene Reviewed book be signed even at my local bookstore?  Hank Green and John Green have answers to all these questions in their first foray back into independent podcasting!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Nov 16, 2020
265: The Kazoo Came First
00:37:23

How do I get better at communicating my feelings?! Could the dinosaurs have seen the meteor on its way? Was John really shocked by an electric pen in Crash Course? How can I spice up solo meal times? How do you consolidate your possessions to move in with other people? What's up with kazoos? How do we get vitamin D from the sun? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Nov 09, 2020
264: The Opposite of a Trophy
00:37:47

Do you put your mask or earbuds on first? Why were soda fountains a big deal? Why don't holes in the ground below sea level always fill with water? Where did XOXO as hugs and kisses in letters come from? How do you tell if someone has been quantum leapt? Why is pint pronounced the way it is?  Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Nov 02, 2020
263: Before the Acorns
00:37:39

Can you really fly close enough to the sun to melt wax wings? Why does it take a minute for hot water to come out of the tap? Where are non-binary people from? Why shouldn't I eat grass? Do Americans have to pay fire insurance? What's topsoil? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 26, 2020
262: The Old Ramen Factory (Live in Carmel, IN!)
00:42:14

What's up with roundabouts? What should my former foster grandpa name be? What are your weirdest stress coping mechanisms? What's your absurd dream scent? What are your favourite non-touristy places in Indiana? What would happen if a werewolf went to the moon? How do I cope with taking extra time for college? What do I do for a disrupted honeymoon? What do I bring when moving to a new country? How can I get my partner and cat to get along? Hank Green and John Green have answers, but keep in mind they're answers FROM THE PAST! Specifically from March 10, 2020, so before ... you know, *gestures broadly* really popped off for their particular locales. Just know that sometimes dubious advice and the questions that inspire it age kinda weirdly!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 19, 2020
261: Not Pastable
00:37:57

Why is fire shaped like fire? What Halloween costumes work with a mask? Why do dumpsters all smell the same? How do I stop getting voting ads now that I've decided to vote? Will humans someday run out of dirt? Who had the idea for keys? Can you cook pasta in something besides water? Is it a bad sign if no ads show up in an ad break? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 12, 2020
260: His One Loamy Weakness
00:39:07

Why do superheroes fly with their arms out in front? Were my college expectations way off? Could we use space travel to look at dinosaurs? Should I feel bad about moderating my comment sections? Why aren't shadows totally black? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 05, 2020
259: Infinite Bird
00:39:30

Could the pandemic wipe out lice? What's up with the "birds aren't real" conspiracy theory? Do you think this will be over by the end of the year? What would human pet food taste like? Are birds pee-shy? How do I convince my partner that alligators aren't that big a deal? Can listening to music really loud really damage your hearing? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 28, 2020
258: A Really Old Cheetah
00:35:55

Will it be safe for my roommate's rabbit to be on TV next spring? What do I pack for an evacuation? Did people make paper planes before the Wright Brothers? What's the website you mentioned that had ballot information? Why don't we hear animals fart? How do I feel better about working at an oil company? Would giants be slow? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 21, 2020
257: There Eye Am (w/ Taha Khan at VidCon London!)
00:35:12

Why do different animals make such different noises? What's the deal with Fahrenheit? How do I not invite all my friends to a gathering? Why is my hair darker when it's wet but not underwater? Is snot me? What do I do with a lot of starfruit? Hank Green and Taha Khan have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 14, 2020
256: A Lonely Road (w/Jacob Goldstein!)
00:40:21

What is money? How do you not look suspicious when you find $60,000? How do I tell my friend I'm uncomfortable hearing brag about their salary? What do I do now that I accidentally turned my boyfriend's sheets pink? How do you pick a car? How do I get comfortable calling myself a writer? How do I handle my friends throwing a birthday party for their dog on my birthday? John Green and Jacob Goldstein have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 07, 2020
255: Hello, Mr. & Mr. Green
00:39:20

What is "other" on my phone's storage? How do I handle my life being thrown off track? What's the policy on renaming a fostered fish? Are mushrooms a vegetable? How do I smile from behind a mask? Can I run through people's sprinklers? How do I start a conversation with my roommate about enjoying your work? How do I navigate bookstore genres without consulting someone in person? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 31, 2020
254: It Ain't Easy Being Green Bunnies
00:37:59

How do eels reproduce? Why isn't there green fur in nature? Is small talk a betrayal? Where do rights come from? What do I do about a late birthday present? What's the name of our solar system? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 24, 2020
253: Tensor Tympani Work With Me
00:36:35

How much paint does it take to make a room smaller? Why can't we hear when we yawn? Are we always expanding the same way the universe is? Why does gatekeeping happen? Why is there an L on a hill in Missoula? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 17, 2020
252: A Comedy Podcast About Chemical Equilibrium
00:39:54

How do I handle my fear of megacryometeors? Why do bugs like lights so much? Where is John's Edgar Allen Poe bust? How do I stay productive while recovering from surgery? Would fireworks work in space? How do you work All Star into your video titles? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 10, 2020
251: 5 Seconds is 1 Mile
00:37:28

Where should I be during a phone interview? Do other animals get sick as often as humans do? What's the time/distance correlation between lightning and thunder? What's a rehearsal dinner? What do I do with really minor TikTok fame? What happens to amputated limbs? How do I make remote wedding guests feel included? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 03, 2020
250: Carl Yastrzemski's Business School
00:38:49

How do I live the dream of not having a job? What's the history of mouth cleaning? Do authors get to choose the font of their books? Why are piggy banks shaped like pigs? How do you feel about sibling comparisons? How finite is the atmosphere? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 27, 2020
249: The Liverbird in the Room (Live at VidCon Now!)
00:41:23

Any life advice for a recent college graduate? If you put milk in a bowl of croutons, is that dinner cereal? How do I stay motivated to create? What have you learned about yourselves or each other lately? What should I do for graduation cap decorations? What would you like to do for a solo podcast? How do create content while staying true to myself? How do you fit 3 bedrooms into 2? What was your favorite VidCon moment ever? What flavor of ice cream should I make? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 20, 2020
248: Nature's Solar Panels
00:37:06

How do you greet multiple friends in different time zones? What are some other card games that scratch the same itch as Uno? Could I swim in the water table like a lake? Can I photosynthesize like a plant? If other animals didn't already fly, would we still have invented planes? When bugs land on us, is it because they think we're majestic? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 13, 2020
247: Lobster Dream Hands
00:40:12

How do I learn to dance? Why do shirts have tags? Have you ever published a book under a pen name? Where did air quotes come from? How do you answer the phone at 2 AM? Should I be worried about entering the workforce if I don't like meetings? Why do you two use the same youtube account?

Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 06, 2020
246: A Hard Wet Sponge
00:37:27

What are some socially distant birthday strategies? Why do we refer to things as bone dry? Do all microwaves rotate in the same direction? Why haven't we cured cancer? Can I appropriate abandoned office plants? Is it okay to drink tea from a coffee mug? Why does alphabetical order exist? What does it mean to waste water? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 29, 2020
245: We Are Held Together by Sunlight
00:39:10

What happens to viruses when they die? Is it possible to separate the art from the artist? Why did you guys talk about Al Gore so much in 2007? How do you retrain your brain? How do I feel confident in my abilities around older people? What is the statue of limitations for the term "late"? What do I do with my new One Direction action figure set? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 22, 2020
244: screamingfrog.mp3
00:43:06

What could be in an audio file labeled "screaming frog"? Do you write with timelines in mind? What do I do with my grandma's fruitcake? Where do I get a bunch of mosquitos? Do Americans just walk into people's houses like on TV? What's the deal with voting? Do magnets work in space? Can we tell if a planet disappeared? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 15, 2020
243: Either 8½ or 68 Million
00:46:09

How do I help my mom manage her depression? How do I address a professor who signs their emails with initials? What size boot is Italy? What is the most seen you've ever felt by a piece of fiction? What's the best song to secretly learn on guitar? Has being writers affected your view of authorial intent? How do I learn to love opera for the music instead of the attention? What does stadium size have to do with football quality? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 08, 2020
242: I Was Dunking a Basketball (Live in Atlanta, GA!)
00:38:55

How do I show non-consumerist appreciation for my mom? Is it better to be sticky or slippery? What's your favorite chair? How do you get used to living in the cold? How do I deal with having an awkward screen name? How often do books get rejected by publishers? How do you have a moderate opinion? What's the dumbest way you've ever been injured? How do you fight for custody of a goldfish? How do I become mayor? How do I lie about how I met my best friend? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 01, 2020
241: An Exhaustive & Exhausting Study
00:39:54

How do I wrangle a lot of crickets? How do I spend less time looking at screens? Is a paperback version of a new book worth the wait? What do I keep having recurring dreams about Nicolas Cage being my uncle? Can you sneeze underwater? John Green and Hank Green have answers! Unless your question is "who are Nic Cage's parents," in which case the answer is August Coppola & Joy Vogelsang, neither of whom appear by name in this episode!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

May 25, 2020
240: Mail Order Memes
00:41:54

How does the ozone layer relate to climate change? How can I communicate with my phoneless best friend? How many ants would it take to carry a human? Can I drink 4-year-old soda? John Green and Hank Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

May 18, 2020
239: Does This Have Walnuts or Pecans?
00:41:12

How do I connect with my siblings? Why do some cereals falsely claim nuts? Is it okay to call a professor by their first name? Are coffee machines a kitchen necessity? How do I format a scholarship essay? John Green and Hank Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

May 11, 2020
238: The Meteor Men
00:39:59

Why don't people paint their houses black? How do I deal with loneliness? What are some good triplet pranks? What are the Google Street View must-see attractions? What's up with money? How much is one lock of hair? Where can I find a "Kirskagard" journal? John Green and Hank Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

May 04, 2020
237: A Well-Balanced Breakfast
00:40:21

Why have I become nocturnal? How do I write in a book? Where does the phrase "the high seas" come from? Which fruits are breakfast fruits? How do I help my mom appreciate art? How do I deal with negativity on social media? How big would googly eyes need to be to see them on the moon? John Green and Hank Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Apr 27, 2020
236: Connoisseurs of Our Own Embarrassments
00:38:06

How do I stop being embarrassed by mail? How do I edit my grandpa's book? Is it selfish to cry on your birthday? How do I live in a place with bugs? What is something that took you an embarrassingly long time to find out? John Green and Hank Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Apr 20, 2020
235: Do Duck Stuff While Ye May
00:42:01

What happens to ducks when they die? Have you written your will? Why are things blurry even when my face is close to the mirror? What should I grow in my garden? What should I learn about? Can I hang out with ghosts while still practicing social distancing? How do you talk while crying? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Apr 13, 2020
234: I Know About Drowsy, Too, Buddy
00:38:02

Are the astronauts stuck on the space station right now? What crafts or books can I use to pass the time? Will books still come out on schedule? How do I paint something other than animals in dresses? What does "under the weather" mean? Do chickens go through menopause? What's the best human law for a cat to break? Can you make your website less confusing? Why does rubbing alcohol evaporate? How do I stay positive while on the front lines of a pandemic? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Apr 06, 2020
233: The Adventures of Yukon John and Glass Foot Hank (w/ Dr. Aaron Carroll!)
00:39:48

How do I convince my parents to take social isolation seriously? Can I social distance from the same room? How can I get to know my new town while social distancing? Are squirrels real? Should I tell my parents about the secret passage I found in my room? Whatever happened to Soggy Pitch? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Mar 30, 2020
232: The Construction Paper Diploma
00:39:57

How do I entertain myself during a quarantine? Where is the center of the universe? Why are the letters on a phone keypad upside down from a keyboard numberpad? Should I stop talking to my friend because they don't like The Mountain Goats? How do I cope with sudden major life changes? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Mar 23, 2020
231: Bouquet Trebuchet (Live in Raleigh, NC!)
00:42:07

Have you ever added a strange fact to a book? How does a teacher inspire their students? How do I figure out if NASA has aliens? Do lobsters feel pain? How do I focus on one book at a time? How do I keep my family from bringing a siege engine to my wedding? How do I tell someone my name without embarrassing them for getting it wrong? Is only ever wearing one color attractive? How do I get to know my new city? Is being in a spoon cult an interesting enough fact when I introduce myself? Hank Green and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Mar 16, 2020
230: The Hot Love of Angry Pigeons
00:35:35

How do I stop losing forks? How do I handle my cat's internet fame? What's your favorite bird? How do I quit my job? What do I do when my job runs out of pasta? Why do some chairs have butt grooves? John Green and Hank Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Mar 09, 2020
229: You Don't Know When the Sickness Is Coming (w/ Sarah Urist Green!)
00:39:50

Should I go to a concert if my recent ex will be there? How do book blurbs work? Can a two-person book club even function? How do I become a better writer? How do I entertain myself while stuck in a department store? Should I feel guilty about making less money than my partner? How do I help my parents understand that Amsterdam is safe? John Green and Sarah Urist Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Mar 02, 2020
228: You Say Banana, I Say Banana (w/ Rosianna Halse Rojas!)
00:43:46

How do I cope with my unrequited love for Timothée Chalamet? Why have I started exclusively reading non-fiction? How can I both support and express concern for my mom's world-class Candy Crush skills? What's the expiration date on a frozen turkey? How can I tell if my fiancée thinks my grandma starred in The Sound of Music? How do I keep a journal? How do I entertain myself without looking at a screen? How do I feel better about accidentally growing the wrong plants? John Green and Hank Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Feb 24, 2020
227: One-Star Statue Reviews
00:39:54

Where do I start with Star Trek? Where does water go when I turn the faucet off? Why does my nose produce more snot when I cry? Should I ask permission before I sharpen my roommate's knives? How do I become less emotionally attached to a statue I don't own? Is it okay to wear white to a bride-less wedding reception? Is there a way to use social media without getting drawn into arguments? John Green and Hank Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Feb 17, 2020
226: It Is the Monkey
00:40:07

How close is the sky to the ground? How do you keep the words that captivate you from slipping away? Is it okay to have doubts on the day of your wedding? Could I keep my spouse's calcified heart on my desk? What do I do if I'm trapped in a car due to skunk? How do I properly use the phrase "It's all downhill/uphill from here"? John Green and Hank Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Feb 10, 2020
225: It’s a Hit and They Get Kicked (Live From St. Petersburg, FL!)
00:39:44

How can I find time to do all the things? If I smack someone with my lower limb prosthetic, am I kicking them? What is the oddest combination of food you’ve seen someone eating? What if I love something everyone hates? Did you ever consider throwing in the towel? When do you figure out how to solve adult problems? What do I do about my leg’s fart sounds? How can I appear older in a room full of high school students? How do I convince my spouse to move for my improv group? John Green and Hank Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Feb 03, 2020
224: The Octopuscene
00:39:36

What happens to balloons when they fly away into the sky? How do I record a video of myself? Who should you thank? Can bees feel happy and sad? When does the Anthropocene end? How do I get my boyfriend to take ghost travel seriously? What does Kindle highlighting say about humanity? John Green and Hank Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Jan 27, 2020
223: All at Once for Everyone
00:40:36

What hobbies should I take up while my feet are broken? What would you like to come back as in your next life? Am I "just a teacher"? What is the proper response to a cheese burglar? What should I do about the snoring guy? Is there an American seasoning? How long should you keep Christmas cards? How do you deal with reliving a horrible moment over and over again? Why does my daughter keep asking if I'm hungry? What is proper puzzle protocol? John Green and Hank Green have answers.

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Jan 20, 2020
222: Just a Man Who’s Lost His Dongle
00:39:43

What should I do with my art money? What do you do if you miss a flight? Are gas giants just tiny planets with big atmospheres? Why does my brain release endorphins for things that are bad for me? What should we do with the bird in the freezer? John Green and Hank Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Jan 13, 2020
221: Favorites of the 2010s
00:49:29

In this special episode of the pod, John Green and Hank Green discuss their favorites of the past decade! Topics include:

    Favorite bookFavorite poemFavorite dad jokeFavorite TV showFavorite tripFavorite songsFavorite sports momentFavorite Cheeto Guy momentBest conversationFavorite weird enthusiasm

We'll be back to giving dubious advice next week, so send your questions to hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Jan 06, 2020
220: Haunted Christmas Trees
00:37:07

Is it okay to go to your old house and ask if you can walk through it? How do you research? How do you interject in conversations smoothly? Can you unpickle a pickle? What should my rice crispy sculpture be? Can I enjoy religious music as an atheist? How do you sell yourself? Will this tree haunt us? John Green and Hank Green have answers!

Tour info: https://www.hankandjohn.com/appearances

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Dec 23, 2019
219: How to Become Part Crow
00:37:17

What is the proper reaction to a canceled Shawn Mendes concert? When should I wear my fancy diamond gold pretzel necklace? What am I supposed to do with the urn my dog's ashes were in? Why do hamsters like wheels? Why are there so few new Christmas songs? Could I get a blood transplant from a crow? Why don't we talk about the moon during the day? John Green and Hank Green have answers.

Tour info: https://www.hankandjohn.com/appearances

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Dec 16, 2019
218: Hank & John's Airport Stories
00:40:22

Why shouldn't I take my temperature after I eat? Will my fingerprint grow back? How will COPPA affect Crash Course? Can my bottle of frozen water get through TSA? At what age are you supposed to use the money in your piggy bank? What are the noises that landlines make when you dial a number? Could Bill Gates cure cancer? Will stickers be our civilization's cave art? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Dec 09, 2019
217: Rocks to Earth 2028!
00:37:52

Can stinging insects sting other insects? What is the scientific difference between stuffy and fresh air? Why aren't there many books about twenty-somethings? When did limos become uncool? How do I survive as the fifth wheel at Disney World? How do we know no two snowflakes are alike? What do you do on a bus with 51 twelve-year-olds? John Green and Hank Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Dec 02, 2019
216: Zombie Turtle Party
00:39:25

Why do we say “head over heels”? What should I wear to a Mountain Goats concert? What is the best thing that happened during the 2010s? Do airplanes have horns? What is my boyfriend’s interesting news?? How much money would I need to donate to PIH to get you to go bungee jumping or skydiving? What should I bring to a zombie turtle party besides a shovel? Justice or mercy? What happened to the short poems? John Green and Hank Green have answers.

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Nov 25, 2019
215: The Big Card
00:38:50

Is it acceptable to put sugar on cottage cheese? Can a Ravenclaw wear Slytherin merch? How do I stop stressing about stress? How do we know what's at the center of the Earth? Should British people get a constitution? Why don't snow globes get moldy inside? Why do grocery stores have olive bars? Should I ask why I wasn't invited to a wedding? John Green and Hank Green give advice!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Nov 18, 2019
214: Crime Dentures
00:36:54

How do I make a film for dental school? What if my anglerfish doesn’t match my room decor? What should I do with a bag full of 1500 pictures of pregnant Harry Styles? Do I need to talk to my boss about the book they lent me? Can I zest a bit of lime at the store? Any podcast recommendations? What song should I blast through the church steeple? Hank Green and John Green give advice!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Nov 11, 2019
213: Baddy One Shoe
00:36:42

Why don't we sink in sand? How do I not freak out about all the time I'm wasting? Do naughty people only wear one shoe? Why do microwaves rotate food? Am I up or down for whatever? My boyfriend doesn't know who Elon Musk is? What would happen if we immediately halted single-use plastics? John Green and Hank Green answer your questions!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Nov 04, 2019
212: The Billionaire Cactus Ghost
00:40:48

What can I do with my cactus costume? What do you do when people you don't know recognize you? Why are all the ghosts so old? Where do grownups keep their potatoes? Are there ghosts on Mars? How do I make my career choice not sound boring? Is climate change for real? Hank Green and John Green answer your questions!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Oct 28, 2019
211: You Can Tik Whatever You Can Tok, Baby (Live from VidCon Australia w/ Zach Kornfeld!)
00:38:52

What is the least dumb way to ask someone out? What’s your strategy for winning Seven Wonders? How did you start from nothing? If you can portray any celebrity in a biopic who would it be? Would you consider becoming a TikTok star? Why do birds? Zach Kornfeld of The Try Guys joins Hank Green to answer your questions live from VidCon Australia!

Find more of Zach at https://www.youtube.com/tryguys

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Oct 21, 2019
210: Chest Moose Tattoo (w/ SciShow Tangents!)
00:33:57

What's going on with microbes? What happens when an astronaut sneezes in space? Why do we have toes? Should I dress fancier? Why aren’t there drones on Mars? Do you get lighter every time you fart? What do I do about the poster I don’t understand? Why do animals live for different amounts of time? Hank Green, Ceri Riley, Stefan Chin, and Sam Schultz of SciShow Tangents join the pod to answer your Qs!

Listen to SciShow Tangents! https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/scishow-tangents

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Oct 14, 2019
209: Sword Dabbing (Live from Minneapolis, MN!)
00:33:41

How should I invest to survive a financial downturn? How often do I really need to change my underwear? Am I a bag? How do help seventh graders? Should we think about the 2D world? What are wedding planning tips? How do I stop imitating accents? How do I deal with the ghosts? How do I innovate in a sword company? John Green and Hank green give advice!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Oct 07, 2019
208: Speedo Minotaur Guy (Live from Madison, WI!)
00:37:31

Why is my instinct to hug my dogs too hard? If you had to move to Sesame Street, who would you want to be your neighbor? How do you know when the story you've written is done? Why was Halley's Comet selected for The Anthropocene Reviewed? How does one properly celebrate the removal of orthodontia? Am I causing defective elevators? What do I do if my boyfriend is the speedo guy? Is it okay if I wear my wedding band before I get married? John Green and Hank Green give advice!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Sep 23, 2019
207: The Still Escalators of Doom
00:36:55

Why are unmoving escalators so disconcerting? What do I do about the plant that died while I was house sitting? What should I tell people who think I'm moving to the worst place in the world? Should I tell my mom you're still alive? What condiment would your body dispense? How does iambic pentameter work? How do we know when we're deriving too much from art? How do I make friends in junior high? How do I talk my brother out of aspiring to be a YouTube star? John Green and Hank Green give advice!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria newsletter! https://nerdfighteria.com/nerdfighteria-newsletter

Sep 16, 2019
206: If You Can't Put Your Mouth There... (with Andrew Levitt AKA Nina West!)
00:37:05

How should I act around my professor who is also my peer? Do the knobs on toasters control heat or time? How do I not get matching tattoos with my mom? Do you ever think about where all your hair is in the world? How can I be less judgmental? How should you display a sugar packet collection? How do I tell people who think I'm dead that I'm not dead? What should I do when I ring the doorbell and I'm not sure if I rang the doorbell? How should you respond to neck skin compliments? Are my new friends friends? Andrew Levitt (Nina West) from RuPaul's Drag Race joins Hank Green to answer your questions!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 09, 2019
205: Piggy Bank Toughness
00:36:58

Should I call this strange number back? What have I missed on the pod? Why are your faves your faves? Don't you need more than lemons for lemonade? How do I get the money out of this coin bank? Should I get bangs? Should I change my email address? Why do I get the urge to get my life together in the middle of the night? How do I make time pass in my stories? What is with that baseball song? John Green and Hank Green yell at clouds and give advice!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 02, 2019
204: Quiet, Subdued, and Possibly Illicit
00:35:44

How do I make this flesh-eating bacteria sound safe? How do I tell my housemate not to get a crockpot? Am I as unlikeable as the character I wrote? Does my friend live with a ghost? How did conspiracy theories spread before the internet? Why are the most-viewed vlogbrothers videos about giraffe sex? How do I stop my favorite movie from being my whole personality? How would fandoms respond to the apocalypse? John Green and Hank Green answer your questions from the Madison Museum of Contemporary Art, but shhh.

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 26, 2019
203: Joy, Attention, Justice, Hips Don't Lie
00:47:06

What do I do with 15 pounds of cornbread? Where do song lyrics live in our brains? Why are we here? How did people get answers before Google? How often should I vacuum? Do wedding pianists get anxious? When are my vegetable plants ready? Can I skip the parts about farming in Anna Karenina? John Green and Hank Green answer your questions!

Invest in AFC Wimbledon: https://www.seedrs.com/

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 19, 2019
202: Pants Clone
00:46:45

Where are the natural wheels? How do I make a conspiracy theorist understand that space exists? What are SEO tools? Should we market climate change better? Why are car horns so primitive? How do I confront my mortality compared to red curry paste? What do I do about the frog in the car? Are Tic Tacs food? John and Hank have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 12, 2019
201: Giant Stone Abraham Lincoln 2020
00:43:58

Can a sentient statue run for president? How do I attend a show solo? How can I be bougie enough for art frames? Could Elsa solve climate change? How can I not be a sobbing mess on my wedding day? Should I make a new ring for my dad? What should I do when I'm not sure if I know someone? Hank and John have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 05, 2019
200: Only If You Got Enough Life Jackets
00:45:17

What is the setup for this joke? What's with people waving from boats? Why don't cartoons change their outfits? How do I tell someone I’ll be back but not RIGHT back? What is your self-care routine? How do I follow soccer? Where are all the Bob Ross paintings? Why are flies?? John and Hank have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 29, 2019
199: The Best of Dear Hank & John #2!
00:40:34

Over the last couple years, John and Hank have bestowed upon the world some true gems of advice and anecdotes. We compiled some favorites in one episode for you to enjoy!

We'll be back with a regular episode next week, so if you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 22, 2019
198: No Ticket Out
00:43:50

What's with birthday cake flavor? How do we know where we are in space? Are we the last generation of humans? Is it safe to shower when the power is out? Can I be a dyslexic nerdfighter? What do I wear to a pirate-themed wedding? What is the physics of window air conditioners? How do I stop talking about things my friends don’t care about? John and Hank have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 15, 2019
197: It's All About Empowerment! (w/ Jenny Owen Youngs!)
00:41:15

How do I promote myself? Are museums better explored individually or as a group? What should I do with memorabilia I don't intend to display? What do I do when someone's in my seat? How should Sincere sign off emails? Why do bugs die on their backs? How do we put less value in personality tests? Do mascots smile inside the suit when posing for pictures? Hank and Jenny from Buffering the Vampire Slayer answer your questions and remind you that you rock!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 08, 2019
196: There Is Nothing You Are Not
00:40:48

How did they decide doorbells should go ding dong? How do I get my coworkers out of my personal life? Why does Hank have button-up jeans? How do you not worry that everything you write has been written before? What are the odds that I'm part pigeon? Why don't you see tons of stars when you're in space? Hank and John have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 01, 2019
195: Fun with Bob and John!
00:46:17

What should I do with all these keys? How do I unrecommend a raunchy novel to my grandma? What's a good psychology team name? What is the most effective way to pull an all-nighter? What should I call my girlfriend's parents? Why are middle schoolers so terrifying? What do I do with all these tomatoes? Hank and John have advice!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

The survey is on the Patreon linked above and also here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/N7DKBW6

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 24, 2019
194: Fortunately, They Are Not Carnivores
00:43:28

How do I advance past the waving stage of acquaintanceship? What does one do at conferences? My friend based a character off of me but the character sucks? How do I get in my house if I'm locked out? From where does a giant African land snail poop? Can I have only one jacked arm? John and Hank have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 17, 2019
193: It's Like a Pool of Liver!
00:45:17

Why do I cry more easily as I get older? What is SPF? What are healthy methods to combat loneliness? What should I do if I busted a hole in the wall while bonding with my sibling? How do I be less curt in texts and emails? Where does John consume his hot takes? How do I stop being bad at cooking? How would John and Hank have met if they weren’t brothers? How do I make this locker room my new home? John and Hank have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 10, 2019
192: Raised on a Yacht (w/ Vanessa Hill of BrainCraft!)
00:46:46

Vanessa Hill of BrainCraft joins Hank to answer your questions! Has it ever not been raining? Can I change my major if I have a scholarship? Should there be compulsory voting? How do I learn to ride a bike? What is tipping etiquette in the US? When is it my turn to watch TV? Can I take a blanket covered with pictures of me to college? Will the US claim Mars as a state? How does boxed mac and cheese work?

For more Vanessa, check out youtube.com/braincraft!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 03, 2019
191: The Engagement Duck
00:43:10

What is the dress code if there is no dress code? Where can I be anxious at work? What should I do with 72 tall vases? How can I avoid having to do dishes? How can I grow my own vegetables if the Sun is in the wrong place? How do I sort out my priorities? How do I tell my girlfriend's mother we aren't ready for a duck? Is there a polite way to ask someone to eat quietly? How and where should I conceal the dream rock? John and Hank have dubious advice!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

May 27, 2019
190: The Top Three Best Things About Sneezing Underwater
00:48:12

How do I get people to remember who I am? What do I do about the Red Bull I spilled in a kid's backpack? How do I deal with my girlfriend's unaccepting parents? Does cold water boil faster than hot water? Which way should a staple face? Is it possible to sneeze underwater? What is the correct way to eat the bottom of a popsicle? How do I get out of being grounded? Can I bring my boyfriend to a thing even though it says "spouses only"? John and Hank are here to help!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

May 20, 2019
189: Weird Statistics
00:48:52

Do a lot of people swerve? What constitutes black coffee? How do I make mac and cheese if I don't have milk? What is the rage/luck relationship when it comes to pennies? How do I find out my therapist's name? Should I give books to people who don't like to read? How should I deal with family drama? How do I get my charger back? Is it time to rip off the Band-Aid? John and Hank have (dubious) advice!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

May 13, 2019
188: The Imperial Bridal March
00:45:21

What is the proper thing to do with abandoned table beer? What's the best way to spend time on trains? How do I move on when my favorite show ends? How do I sleep in without waking up with a backache? Should I have played "The Imperial March" at a wedding? Are you allowed to use the soap in another person's shower? Why do some carrots taste earthier than others? Why isn't there a Neptune Day? What should I do about Gavin's grass ideas? John and Hank have dubious advice!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

May 06, 2019
187: The Uncle Mike Way of Life
00:40:47

How do I fairly distribute my hugs? Could black holes suck up the Earth? How do I change the way I walk? How can I support my stressed-out dad? What's the best way to receive negative performance reviews? What do I do if I vomit at work? Why don't ants die when they fall from heights? Who should play me in the movie of my life? John and Hank have (dubious) answers!

The poem John mentions at the beginning of the episode is "The Palace" by Kaveh Akbar, found here.

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Apr 29, 2019
186: The Morlon Wiley Way In
00:42:25

How do you open an envelope? How do companies turn attention into money? What's the deal with the itsy bitsy spider? And more!

Get your signed desk sword!!! https://store.dftba.com/products/john-green-signed-desk-swords

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Apr 22, 2019
185: Time-Traveling Battle Axes
00:52:30

Who owns the bones? Why are American coins so confusing? Would dragon eggs have scales? And more!

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Apr 15, 2019
184: Lady with the Time Piece (w/ Helen Zaltzman!)
00:52:17

How do you deal with saying something wrong publicly? How far does a squirrel's social sphere extend? Can I ask my friend questions about her surgery? And more!

Thanks to Helen Zaltzman for being a temporary Green brother this week! Find more of Helen's work at helenzaltzman.com.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Apr 08, 2019
183: John's Subway Safety Procedures
00:45:22

How do you stay focused on one project for a long time? Should I tell this stranger to examine their zipper? Are there other kinds of ketchup? And more!

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Apr 01, 2019
182: It’s All Hermeneutics to Me
00:45:59

Are our voices actually slightly deeper? What's going on with paperclips? How do I keep out the chickens? And more!

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Mar 25, 2019
181: Comforting Existential Crises (w/ Jana Hisham!)
00:45:26

When are you too old to read YA? How do you get lost in a healthy way? Are there entire civilizations on the bottom of the ocean? And more!

Check out Jana's YouTube channel: youtube.com/aFriendlyArab

This episode was recorded live at VidCon London 2019!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Mar 18, 2019
180: The Bird Thunderdome (w/ Katherine Green!)
00:49:37

How do I win the bird hospitality battle? Are the keys part of the car? How do I get better at creative writing? And more!

You can listen to more Hank & Katherine in Delete This!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Mar 11, 2019
179: The Queen's Dream Job (w/ Danielle Bainbridge!)
00:33:28

Should I pretend to dislike my sister? How do I not put too much pressure on my dream job? How much salt does it take to mummify a person? And more!

Keep learning from Danielle in Origin of Everything!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Mar 04, 2019
178: Snack Man! (Live at PodCon!)
00:45:39

How do I propose to my girlfriend if I can't get down on one knee? How do I get rid of a bad nickname? Should I cause chaos? And more!

This episode was recorded live at PodCon 2 in Seattle, WA.

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Feb 25, 2019
177: Gum Influencers
00:49:51

How do I know if I'm being a know-it-all? How do we survive the 2020 presidential election? At what point does a flying fish become a swimming bird? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Feb 18, 2019
176: The Celebrity Life Coaches of Your Dreams
00:51:56

Should penguins go to Mars? Why do we chew rubber? Is this frantic, indecisive squirrel okay? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Feb 11, 2019
175: Burn It All!!!!
00:43:03

What should I put in my journal? Should I sign a card for someone I don't know? What do I do when strangers tell me my shoes are untied? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Feb 04, 2019
174: The Mysterious "Stolen" Car
00:48:28

Am I too old to race down hotel hallways? Is there a stranger in my attic? How do you make plans with a subgroup of friends? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Jan 28, 2019
173: My Ghost Date, Timothy
00:53:05

What should I do at prom by myself? Can ghosts ride in cars? How do you end a voicemail? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Jan 21, 2019
172: Get in Touch with Your Glitter Side
00:43:00

How do I stop receiving so many Peeps? Why do I have to sneeze immediately after I put on mascara? How do I use a bus? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Jan 14, 2019
171: Our Pasta-Making Robot Overlords
00:44:34

What do I do when all my friends hang out without me? Are beans basically small potatoes? How do you smuggle a swan internationally? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Jan 07, 2019
170: You Can Trust Us, We're Aliens
00:41:30

How do I teach a class I know almost nothing about? What if humans had tails? Why can’t you walk through a drive-through? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Get your PodCon tickets at podcon.com!

Dec 31, 2018
169: A Perpetual Christmas Civilization That Orbits the Sun
00:43:39

Why do we put people on pedestals? How can I get better at mornings? What should I hide under the floorboards? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Get your PodCon tickets at podcon.com!

Dec 24, 2018
168: All of Them, Including LinkedIn
00:45:44

Where did all the websites go? How do you solve a problem like Maria? What's my brand? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, SciShow Tangents and The Anthropocene Reviewed.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Dec 17, 2018
167: A Song Called Shhh
00:48:16

What should I do about the accordion player outside? Should I take a trip to a strange city by myself? How do I get in the secular Christmas spirit? And more!

There are still perks available on the Project for Awesome Indiegogo! Get yours at projectforawesome.com/donate.

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, SciShow Tangents and The Anthropocene Reviewed.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Dec 10, 2018
166: Do Not Enter the Secret Room
00:43:11

Why are human babies so useless? What's with Ohio's salad crackers? Why can't I use an umbrella in the snow? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, SciShow Tangents and The Anthropocene Reviewed.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Dec 03, 2018
165: We're Gonna Make It
00:50:37

What would it feel like to be microwaved? How do I get my dad to chill on Facebook? How do I confront my roommate about the ferret oatmeal baths? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, SciShow Tangents and The Anthropocene Reviewed.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Nov 26, 2018
164: The Kurt Vonnegut Special
00:45:51

How much money should I ask for? How do I talk to my crush? Will climate change make mountains shorter? And more!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!

Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, SciShow Tangents and The Anthropocene Reviewed.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Nov 19, 2018
163: A Man's Man's Guide to Potassium
00:40:24

How do I convince my boyfriend not to grow a mullet? What do I do with this small, hot towel? Should I destroy my sad friend in Words with Friends? John and Hank have answers to this and more!

Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, SciShow Tangents and The Anthropocene Reviewed.

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Nov 12, 2018
Hello from Hank and John!
00:02:36

Hosts Hank and John Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring their personal passions to each episode by sharing the week’s news from Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (the third-tier English football club). 

Produced by WNYC Studios, home of other great podcasts including Radiolab, Death, Sex & Money, On the Media, Nancy and Here’s the Thing with Alec Baldwin.

Nov 08, 2018
162: The Fault in Our Mars
00:53:24

What tricks can babies do? Should I become a space lawyer? Did I let a guy steal my car? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Nov 05, 2018
161: Your Dabbing Uncle Hank
00:50:42

At what point do I fail? What should I do while I'm waiting to be sawed in half? Should I eat the fungus? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 29, 2018
160: You Are Not My Bus
00:46:32

Where should I look when I'm talking to someone? Will aliens ride our roller coasters when we're all dead? Should guests help do the dishes? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 22, 2018
159: The Horrifying Five-Tined Fork
00:46:49

How do I get out of this maze? What do I do with this cello? When will I stop having to call my mom to help me figure out life? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

We're now on Twitter! Follow us at twitter.com/dearhankandjohn.

Oct 15, 2018
158: President Alligator
00:43:15

Why do people hate raisins? Is U2 a boy band? How do I make friends with the people I work with? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 08, 2018
157: It's My Soundtrack! (w/ Rosianna Halse Rojas!)
00:48:48

Should I treasure my books more? Can I learn to sleep standing up like a horse? Does everyone have an eighties disco playing in their head? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Find Rosianna:

YouTube

Make Out With Him

Twitter

Oct 01, 2018
156: There Is a Diversity of Opinions Among the People Who Drive This Car
00:43:09

How can I avoid having to dress up for Halloween? What do you do when your friends make fun of your friend? How do I artfully display my rib? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 24, 2018
155: Drunk Fruit Squirrels
00:39:48

Can I wear my Tuesday shirt on other days? How do I give advice that doesn't hurt feelings but is still helpful? Did I steal this plant? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 17, 2018
154: You're Doing Great (w/ Tessa Violet!)
00:44:19

What do I do when I'm asked to lie to children? Should I tell my boss I'm obsessed with her famous son? Why is Dodie so much better at stuff than I am? And more!

Check out Tessa on YouTube and wherever you get your music!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 10, 2018
153: Perfectly Normal Art Projects (w/ Sarah Urist Green!)
00:34:22

Can I use being an artist as an excuse for being weird? How do museum benches work? What is the best advice a parent can give their child? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.ocm

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible is offering listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Go to audible.com/dearhank or audible.com/dearjohn, or text “dearhank" or "dearjohn” to 500-500 to get started today.

Sep 03, 2018
152: Thank You, Hot Fries!!
00:52:15

Are we living in a simulation? Are there other types of teeth? What should I do with this bowl? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 27, 2018
151: Dapper Dudes
00:46:18

How do I tell my boyfriend he's beautiful? Can I talk to my cousin's ex? How do I figure out my music taste? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

The PodCon 2 campaign ends soon! Support it here!

Aug 20, 2018
150: Spicy Limes
00:56:33

What should I do with this tooth? How do I keep a secret? How do I get out of the shadow of my parents’ triumphs? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

PodCon 2 is happening!

Aug 14, 2018
149: Let's Be Mermaids
00:46:16

Where would you put an extra eye? How do I survive at home alone? Why is underwear a pair? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Thanks to HelloFresh for sponsoring this episode! For $30 off your first week of HelloFresh, go to hellofresh.com/dearhank or hellofresh.com/dearjohn and enter code dearhank or dearjohn.

Aug 06, 2018
148: Hiding Nuts
00:53:03

Why is there no $25 bill? What happens to a person’s consciousness when they're teleported? What does space smell like? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

PodCon 2 is happening! Check out the Indiegogo campaign here.

Jul 23, 2018
147: Celebrities on a Plane
00:56:05

Should I tell my boyfriend he has a fandom? What do you do in a non-reciprocal high five situation? Why are football scarves so short? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Thanks to Brilliant for sponsoring this episode! Head to brilliant.org/dearhank or brilliant.org/dearjohn and sign up for free. The first 200 people who go to those links will get 20% off their annual Premium subscription.

Jul 16, 2018
146: Skate with Snakes
00:49:06

How did people tell time before clocks? Should I go to a thing just to avoid FOMO? How do I deal with popsicle haters? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible is offering listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Go to audible.com/dearhank or audible.com/dearjohn, or text “dearhank" or "dearjohn” to 500-500 to get started today.

Jul 02, 2018
145: Wait to Panic
00:49:33

What should I do with the ends of bread? How do you know when you get to the end of the galaxy? How did they livestream the lunar landing? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Thanks to HelloFresh for sponsoring this episode! For $30 off your first week of HelloFresh, go to hellofresh.com/dearhank or hellofresh.com/dearjohn and enter code dearhank or dearjohn.

Jun 18, 2018
144: Great, Robust Berries (w/ Jenny Lawson!)
00:51:19

What is your innocuous life curse? What should I read when I've outgrown YA? How do I survive without my coping mechanism? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Thanks to Brilliant for sponsoring this episode! Head to brilliant.org/dearhank or brilliant.org/dearjohn and sign up for free. The first 200 people who go to those links will get 20% off their annual Premium subscription.

Jun 11, 2018
143: Eleven Peas
00:56:39

Are there any good billionaires? How do I get better at contracts? What are the rules of doctor-patient small talk? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Thanks to Simple Contacts for sponsoring this episode! Get $30 off your contacts at simplecontacts.com/dearhank or simplecontacts.com/dearjohn, or enter code dearhank or dearjohn at checkout.

Jun 04, 2018
142: Don't Harsh on My Yums
00:49:03

Why do people like ant colonies? What do I do about customers who come in right before close? Where do bugs go when it rains? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Thanks to Brilliant for sponsoring this episode! The first 200 people to sign up at brilliant.org/dearhank or brilliant.org/dearjohn get 20% off their annual Premium subscription.

May 28, 2018
141: Gretel's Instagram Regrets (w/ How to ADHD!)
01:00:15

Am I accidentally a horrible person? What should I do with 1,000 business cards? How do I not break my grandmother's heart? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Thanks to Jessica and Edward of How to ADHD for joining the pod today!

May 21, 2018
140: The Spoon in the Road
00:47:21

How often should I try new food places? How do you break up with someone without crushing them? What's the best way to greet a new neighbor? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Thanks to Skillshare for sponsoring this episode! Get 2 months of Skillshare for just 99 cents by going to skillshare.com/dearhank or skillshare.com/dearjohn.

May 14, 2018
139: What If the Moon Was One of Us
00:38:24

What should I spend my birthday money on? Is hope a dinosaur? What do I do with 23 plastic molds of my teeth? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Get your Snappy the T. rex shirt here: https://store.dftba.com/products/snappy-the-t-rex-shirt

Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible is offering listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Go to audible.com/dearhank or audible.com/dearjohn, or text “dearhank" or "dearjohn” to 500-500 to get started today.

May 07, 2018
138: Snappy the T. rex
00:52:50

Do dead bodies get sunburned? How do you science a baby? Who were the first fans? And more!

Take our survey! Your feedback helps us out a lot: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/dhjsurvey2018

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Apr 30, 2018
137: Manhole & Me
00:46:00

Why am I in Seattle? Why are bricks stacked that way in walls? Is nihilism hilarious? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Apr 23, 2018
136: Wake Up Canadian
00:46:12

What should I wear to Hamilton? If you work a four-day week, do you still get a hump day? Are books a distorted mirror? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Apr 17, 2018
135: Danger Noodles and Little Boops (w/ Emily Graslie!)
01:04:53

How do you throw away a trash can? Which animals have the most awkward adolescent phase? Are humans an invasive species? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Apr 09, 2018
134: The Millennial Avocadome
00:47:18

Are rocks actually soft? What are Pop-Tarts? My boyfriend's ex is dating my ex??? And more!

Apr 02, 2018
133: Fork Bouquet
00:54:39

What should I do with all these plastic forks? At what age do you grow out of regret? Do ants sleep? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Mar 26, 2018
132: Schrödinger's Floor
00:49:08

Why do we need constant mental stimuli? How do I clean my room? Can I still be friends with my ex's family? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible is offering listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Go to audible.com/dearhank or audible.com/dearjohn, or text “dearhank" or "dearjohn” to 500-500 to get started today.

Mar 19, 2018
131: Space War Fears
00:48:32

How do I handle the surprise baby hamsters? Can I take things from someone else's shopping cart? Are we all gonna die in a space war? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace! Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and use the offer code DEARHANK or DEARJOHN to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Mar 12, 2018
130: The LaCroix Boix
00:55:44

How much sand is there? How do I unfriend the murder? How does one finance baby? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Mar 05, 2018
129: The Worst Guest Books
00:53:05

Am I not invited to my aunt's wedding? Do I tell my friend I clogged their toilet? Is there an Olympic Hall of Urine? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

ROLF: https://store.dftba.com/products/rolf

Feb 26, 2018
128: AARTcoin
00:47:55

Are hitchhiker ants okay? How do I tell my parents I want to study economics? Who is responsible for calling back after a dropped call? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Thanks to RXBAR for sponsoring this episode! For 25% off your first order, visit RXBAR.com/dearjohn or RXBAR.com/dearhank and enter "dearjohn" or "dearhank" at checkout.

You Will Be Able to Say a Thousand Words: https://astoundingmagic.com/collections/books/products/you-will-be-able-to-say-a-thousand-words

MarbleLympics: https://www.youtube.com/user/jelleknikkers

Feb 19, 2018
127: How to Befriend a Crow
00:47:05

Should I follow my dreams of having strange animal friends? What would happen if I pee in this humidifier? Is it disrespectful to look at someone while they yawn? And more!

Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode! Go to squarespace.com for a free trial, and use the offer code DEARHANK or DEARJOHN to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Feb 12, 2018
126: The Space Alien Orange Peel Health Craze
00:42:22

Should I spend prom at Target or break up my friends? How does Legolas never run out of arrows? What would happen if all plants ceased to exist? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Some things mentioned: The Anthropocene Reviewed: https://soundcloud.com/theanthropocenereviewed An Absolutely Remarkable Thing: hankgreen.com Eons: youtube.com/eons Scatterbrained: youtube.com/mentalflossvideo

Feb 05, 2018
125: Book Hangovers (w/ Sarah Urist Green!)
00:47:32

How do people love reading when it hurts? How do you make friends in art class? How do you proceed after accidentally slow dancing with someone? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thanks to HelloFresh for sponsoring this episode! For $30 off your first week of HelloFresh, go to hellofresh.com and enter dearhank or dearjohn.

Jan 29, 2018
124: Liars and Litterers and Thieves
00:54:06

Can I hoard stolen goods? How do I make sure I don't become a racist? How do I get cookies? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Hank's book is available for preorder! Learn more at hankgreen.com. This episode is sponsored by Backblaze! Backblaze provides unlimited cloud backup for Macs and PCs for just $5/month. Check it out at backblaze.com/dearhank or backblaze.com/dearjohn.

Jan 23, 2018
123: The Incredible Glamorous Hulk
00:55:44

How do fish get into lakes? How do I stay aware of things without giving them views? Do aliens communicate with sign language? And more! Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible content includes an unmatched selection of audiobooks, original audio shows, news, comedy, and more. They're offering listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Go to audible.com/dearhank or audible.com/dearjohn to download a title free and start listening. You can also text dearhank or dearjohn to 500-500. Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Jan 15, 2018
122: The Last Brand Deal
00:55:20

Am I too young to be self-supervised? Can I throw away my dead grandmother's sponges? How do I make a personal retirement PowerPoint for Rick? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Jan 08, 2018
121: Every Plum Has Its Thorn
00:48:21

What is the point of love if it always ends? How do I scream? How do I stop a surprise avian ring delivery? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Dec 25, 2017
120: Snake Cuddle Time
00:45:57

How do I memorize all the birds? Should I join the Navy? How do you eat trail mix? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Dec 18, 2017
119: Water Is Dry (w/ Greg Miller!)
00:55:13

Why don't I have a lifelong friend? How can I become ruler of everyone with my name? What are snails trying to flee?? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Dec 11, 2017
118: Heavy Baby Bib! (w/ Alex Goldman!)
00:59:24

What counts as significant change? How do you know who you're supposed to buy presents for? Is it weird to let someone know you're thinking of them? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Dec 04, 2017
117: Lightsaber Your Tiny House (w/ Katherine Green!)
01:00:54

What do you do with cereal dust? What happens if kid doesn't like dog? How did cave people cut their fingernails? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Nov 27, 2017
116: Do Not Enter the Craft Fort! (w/ Caitlin Hofmeister!)
00:54:36

How do you surprise loved ones in small apartments? What is the line between archaeology and grave robbing? What is the appropriate time to get into the Christmas season? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Nov 20, 2017
115: Semi-Immortal 35-Year-Olds on Mars
00:48:29

What is the smallest part of the body you can be a doctor in? Why do we rub our eyes when we're tired? How do I turn my imagination off long enough to sleep? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Nov 13, 2017
114: Confused About Batman
00:51:37

Over the last month, Hank and John have been on the road going to cities all across America. Every stop, they did a short episode of Dear Hank and John, and some of those got recorded. Then Hank edited some of the best of those moments into this podcast. How do I promote my guinea pig's Instagram? Is it cold in space? When did you first feel successful? And Many Other Questions Answered!​ Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Nov 06, 2017
113: Aardvarks with Guns
00:43:48

Is outer space full of vampires? Am I engaged? Why haven't our mouths evolved to be better at pumpkin spice lattes? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 30, 2017
112: Toaster Is a Wolf to Dog
00:38:41

Where does candle wax go? Can you just switch where you're sitting one day? Does saying "I love you" eventually lose its meaning? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 24, 2017
111: Omagles All the Way Down
00:45:56

How do I get in on my neighbor's cranberry bread? How do I live in a very small room? Who's responsible for the divider in a checkout line? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 09, 2017
110: One and Less Extra Bone
00:48:35

Where does all the extra body come from? Why are grapefruits called grapefruits? Is it acceptable to talk about social media in real life? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 02, 2017
109: The Catastrophizing Kindergarten Teacher
00:48:10

How do I stop whistling? How do you not get burned out? How do I get rid of a death zit? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankdandjohn

Sep 25, 2017
108: We Would All Be Flounders
00:48:33

What do I say to my blind date? How do I get my mom to call me less frequently? Are you supposed to ask a father for his daughter's hand in marriage? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 18, 2017
107: skREvEL!
00:48:36

Why do I feel safer with the lights on? Why can't my bathtub be in my living room? Am I in danger of being electrocuted? And more! Turtles All the Way Down tour: http://www.turtlesallthewaydownbook.com/#tour Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 11, 2017
106: Cannibal Mermaids
00:45:19

How far can you get making only right turns? What's the proper response to being constantly serenaded? Does fire have mass? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 05, 2017
105: Fancy Diving
00:57:14

Is cake salty? How do I get alone time at a party without a cigarette? Where is the rest of An Imperial Affliction? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 28, 2017
104: Dove Quivering
00:43:57

Why am I afraid of something I know doesn’t exist? Can I avoid scurvy by sticking my arm in a giant vat of orange juice? What is proper etiquette for a cat birthday party? And more! Get 10% off your first purchase by going to hover.com/dearhank or hover.com/dearjohn Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 21, 2017
103: There Are No Boxes (w/ Gaby Dunn!)
01:00:16

What is a mug without a handle? When's the right time to get a Saturn tattoo? Should I come out when I'm not ready? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 14, 2017
102: The Friend Bucket
00:44:35

Could you take down a coyote with your arms? Should people be allowed to put things in someone else's Netflix queue? How do I cope with social anxiety? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 07, 2017
101: Knit like a Mofo
00:41:16

What would happen if all mosquitoes die? What do I do about my surprise YouTube celebrity boyfriend? What's the truth about John Lennon's "Imagine"? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 31, 2017
100th Episode Extravaganza Spectacular!!!
00:59:04

Who was the first joshing Josh? Do bugs understand glass? How do I learn to chill? And more! probablysignedturtles.com Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 24, 2017
99: A Fusing of the Hair
00:49:26

What do I do if my spouse wants to shave his head? Why are there birds at the airport? What if I'm not as well read as my boyfriend? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 03, 2017
98: An Army of Burrito Children (w/ Dodie Clark!)
00:56:41

How do you deal with the dissipation of your future plans? Should I tell my parents I met my boyfriend on Tinder? How do I succeed if I'm not a go-getter? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 26, 2017
97: Lemon Salty Whales
00:49:50

When should I introduce my kid to Star Wars? Can I dislike parts of my life even though I have privilege? How did humans start swimming? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 19, 2017
96: Next Level Laziness
00:49:03

If you put in work to be lazy, is it still laziness? Does Lin Manuel Miranda listen to Hamilton for funzies? At what point are you supposed to put water on a toothbrush? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 12, 2017
95: Lawn Care Vigilantism
00:56:36

What should my fun fact about me be? How do Christians and non-Christians get along? Am I too old to listen to this podcast? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 05, 2017
94: Pocket Conspiracy Theories (w/ Matthew Gaydos!)
01:09:14

Is Hank a reptilian-human hybrid? How do I grieve and also be there for my students? What do you do when you do something terrible by accident? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

May 29, 2017
93: Nothing Fits on a Bumper Sticker
00:42:05

Can a writer mess with science for poetic purposes? If you enjoy Narnia, would you enjoy The Fountainhead? Is there a right social construct to teach? And more!

May 22, 2017
92: Cewebrity
00:48:59

Should I contact the guy who owns the plane on which I was born? Are art and content different? Does it matter that the guy I'm dating has a six pack while I eat a lot of tacos? And more! PodCon! https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/podcon-podcast/x/1883440#/ Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

May 15, 2017
91: Everything Is Everything (w/ Mayim Bialik!)
00:56:00

Why do I like the smell of gasoline? What should I do about my racist boss? What is the clothes fastener technology in Star Wars? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

May 08, 2017
90: Glitter Soul
00:50:31

Are you really in the clear with liquor before beer? Should I embrace the error on my birth certificate? Does it really matter where I go to college? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com Patreon: patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

May 02, 2017
89: A Rich Guy with an Affinity for Bats
01:02:49

Is Batman a superhero? How do I claim an island as my own? Is there a "no politics" rule in dating? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Apr 24, 2017
88: Hank's Profound Graduation Speech
00:48:28

Why do rich people like golf so much? What color is the sky on Mars? How much do I need to fact-check news before I share it? Where are bird ears??? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Apr 10, 2017
87: The Future Is Gonna Rule
00:51:10

How do I develop a cool signature? How do I tell my dad I've been hiding a snake for several months? Is it acceptable to shout advice at strangers? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Apr 03, 2017
86: This Week in Ryans
00:48:52

Do taller people have bigger organs? Are more expensive clothes actually better? Is there a secular way to say you're "praying" for someone? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Mar 27, 2017
85: Stay Gold, Potaterson
00:49:39

What should my motto be? What vegetable is happiness? When is enough really enough? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Mar 20, 2017
84: Live from NerdCon: Nerdfighteria!
01:00:12

Where are all the fireflies? What is "the spark"? Was Alexander Hamilton or Sirius Black a bigger drama queen? And more!

Mar 13, 2017
83: There's No Rock and Roll on Mars
00:50:25

Is the Big Bang really a thing? Does the driver or the passenger get to pick the music? What if someone gets pregnant on Mars? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Mar 06, 2017
82: Where There Was Previously Nothing
00:48:03

How long until everyone is related to Beyoncé? When does parenting stop sucking? How can I help the world without being rich? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Feb 20, 2017
81: Always Making Progress Forever
00:49:59

Can you separate the artist from the work? How do bugs survive microwaves? Will we ever be a perfectly unified planet? And more! Sarah's cookies! https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/sarah755035 NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Feb 13, 2017
80: Life Is Hard and Also Has Good Things
00:50:02

What are the top ten kinds of spoons? Why do boys kiss like dying fish? What would happen if we lost gravity for fifteen seconds? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Feb 06, 2017
79: Tiny Useless Pelvises (That Are Still There)
00:41:25

How nice do you have to be at the grocery store? How do we know humans didn't come from Mars? What is sound even? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Jan 30, 2017
78: Being Sure
00:55:20

How do I stop catfishing someone? How do I not feel embarrassed sharing my writing? Should I DIY my shirt? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Jan 23, 2017
77: Save Us, Giant Octopus
00:41:37

Should you always imagine people complexly? Would constellations be different on Mars? How many trees would you have to plant to offset your carbon footprint? And more!

Jan 16, 2017
76: The Best of Dear Hank & John
00:42:30

A look back on some of the most memorable moments in the history of the pod! Featuring: Jurassic Mars, Ryan, OH MY GOD IT'S BURNING, John's atrocious cereal eating habits, pumpkins and penguins, the long con, and more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Jan 09, 2017
75: The Nutrient Coconut Milk of Sin (w/ Katherine Green!)
00:57:29

Who does my cat think I am? Is listening to music a waste of time? Should we get a new coconut? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Jan 03, 2017
74: The Kindness Muscle
00:46:59

How do I deal with finals stress? What building would you haunt? How do I teach my kid not to bully? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Dec 28, 2016
73: Planes, Trains, and Automosqueals
00:47:58

What do you do if you're lost in the forest? Is Santa subject to trademark laws? Should I take a boring job for money? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Dec 19, 2016
72: Planet Dirt (Hank Returns!)
00:49:13

Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Should I tell my mom about my risky plans? What is the tipping point for apocalypse chaos? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: http://www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

Dec 12, 2016
71: Only Pause for Applause (w/ Hannah Hart!)
00:47:49

Help, I can't tell my roommates apart! What if my relationship has an expiry date? How much reflection should you do after finishing a book? And more!

Dec 06, 2016
70: The Rhythmic Thud of the Space Bar (w/ Ashley Ford!)
00:54:43

How do we move forward post-Election Day? How do you know when/if to have kids? Why does the space bar sound like that? And more!

Nov 22, 2016
69: Live from NerdCon: Stories (w/ Karen Hallion!)
01:20:52

Who is the foxiest founding father? How do I convince my boyfriend to not go to Mars? Is all my sister's stuff mine now? And more!

Nov 07, 2016
68: Gaga in Space (w/ Tyler Oakley!)
00:42:11

Are quesadillas sandwiches? What is the ideal OK Cupid match percentage? How much of another person's food am I allowed to consume? And more!

Nov 01, 2016
67: Feeling Home
00:59:16

Should I ghost out of my job? Are bubble baths a hobby or an interest? How do I not feel like a forever foreigner? And more!

Oct 24, 2016
66: A Great Bit of Oratory
00:51:20

How do I keep enjoying music I enjoyed with an ex? How do I recover from being doused in bull semen? What are my responsibilities when people ask me to watch their stuff? And more!

Oct 17, 2016
65: But... You're a Horse
00:44:56

Should we fear a locust apocalypse? Will listening to Japanese while I sleep help me remember it? How do I remain confident in my art around older, more experienced artists? And more!

Oct 03, 2016
64: Really Terrible Scandinavian Geography Lessons
00:49:22

Why won't people accept my tissues? Should half-wolf children be vaccinated? What do I do when I see a stranger crying in public? And more!

Sep 26, 2016
63: World Queen
00:51:31

What do I do while people are singing "Happy Birthday"? What are mushrooms even? Is it okay to want people to not be wrong? And more!

Sep 19, 2016
62: Pumpkins and Penguins (and Fiddles)
00:55:06

How do I go about my secret fiddle long con? Why do almost all zippers have the letters YKK on them? Do bugs ever have a destination in mind when they walk around aimlessly? And more!

Sep 12, 2016
61: Tiny Acts of Kindness
00:49:33

How do gas planets work? What is proper door etiquette? Is Hank going to put the lime in the coconut and drink it all together? And more!

Sep 06, 2016
60: There Is Almost Always a Future
00:45:41

Where all all the dead birds? Should I really live each day of my life like it's my last? Am I a fraud for being a social chameleon? And more!

Aug 30, 2016
59: Hank's Disaster Preparedness Plan
00:45:08

What is my actual favorite color? At what point in the day do I switch to "have a good night" as my go-to courtesy? What do I do when The Big One hits? And more!

Aug 22, 2016
58: That's the Science (w/ Flula!)
00:49:46

Why are there holes in crackers? What is proper hot tub etiquette? Can I snapchat politicians about immigration reform? And more!

Aug 16, 2016
57: Og Nomekop
00:41:02

How do I organize someone else's books? How do I justify the money allocated to extending my life? How does tug of war work? And more!

Aug 09, 2016
56: Is It Going to Throw Up?
00:52:58

How do I dad? Are expiration dates just suggestions? What do I call the people I work with? Do I really need to get drunk on my twenty-first birthday? And more!

Aug 02, 2016
55: A Proper Dumpster Fire
00:57:22

Should I sell cold, fresh potty water? Why don't we write phonetically? Why do I like all this sad stuff? And more!

Jul 26, 2016
54: Nerd Punk
00:52:11

Are bell peppers airtight? How do I quit smoking? Why is that new baby smell so good? And more!

Jul 06, 2016
53: The Worst Episode Ever
00:46:29

Do fish swim? Is Hank snapchatting? How do I stop my earphones from getting tangled? How do I deal with a job that I hate? And more!

Jun 30, 2016
52: We Are in This Together
00:50:14

Will my laptop sterilize me? Do you like (or write) fanfiction? Where is the rest of the lizard whose tail I found in my room? And more!

Jun 21, 2016
51: Weird/Bad Dancefighting
00:44:15

What are nerdfighters fighting? How do I learn to enjoy physical activity? How do I stop talking about Mars in my sleep? And more!

Jun 15, 2016
50: Things Are Like Other Things
00:49:36

Why isn't John on Hank's Top 8 on MySpace? What is the correct way to eat an Oreo? Is my can opener a sign that I've entered an alternate universe? And more!

Jun 07, 2016
49: Not Not an Adult (w/ Sydney Green!)
00:41:24

How do you define adulthood? Is it slice of pizza or piece of pizza? How do I reclaim my armrest when I'm in the middle seat? And more!

May 31, 2016
48: Pizza John Priorities
00:39:48

Is Pizza John inherently unsexy? Should I court familial disaster? Where else can I seek dubious advice? And more! AFC update tag music is 'News Sting' by Kevin MacLeod. http://incompetech.com

May 24, 2016
47: You're Gonna Be Okay
00:47:57

How do I mourn a mug? What if it had been Vlogsisters instead of Vlogbrothers? How do I navigate roommatedom? And more!

May 17, 2016
46: Brotherhood 3.0
00:45:56

Where are all the Bob Ross paintings? Why is a minor injury more painful to me than literal childbirth? How do I get myself a surprise party? And more!

May 02, 2016
45: Not Knowing
00:52:58

Should I feel guilty about liking Hamilton? Why aren't we talking about our impending death by Yellowstone? Should I be saving all my burrito money for the economic apocalypse? And more!

Apr 26, 2016
44: A Life Sandwich
00:52:48

How do I find joy when my main source of it has been taken away? How do I deal with my unfortunate name, which is not Ryan? How do I handle compliments? How do I deal with over-the-top laughter? How do I deal with the closest thing there is to death? And more!

Apr 20, 2016
43: Gotta Be Kitten
00:45:56

Why do people put up with banana opportunity cost? How do I deal with bird attacks? Chemtrails: what's up with them? And more!

Apr 12, 2016
42: Mayonnaise Malaise
00:49:17

Am I making unethical sandwich decisions? Am I a sucker for not cheating in school? Do we need drive-thru reform? Why do farts smell worse in the shower? And more!

Apr 05, 2016
41: In the Absence of Toes
00:51:52

Have we checked in on the bees? What would happen if you lost your big toe? How do you stir hot cocoa efficiently? And more!

Mar 29, 2016
40: Almost Distressingly Good Advice
00:54:22

How Canadian am I, really? How should I unpack? How do I reconcile my ideals with my actions? And more!

Mar 21, 2016
39: Feelings Are All Right (with Katherine Green)
01:04:53

How do I overcome pizza betrayal? What's the deal with sesame seeds? How do I solve my sibling ball crisis? What do I do in Montana? How do I deal with my driving anxiety? And more!

Mar 16, 2016
38: The Smelling in Your Dwelling
00:53:48

Why don't bugs die when we flick them? Why do we talk the way we do? What's the deal with dollars in movies? How much would it cost to buy the world a coke? And more!

Mar 08, 2016
37: The Floridiest Place
00:56:15

How do you reattach John's head? Why aren't supreme court justices chosen more efficiently? How do you hug? Does Mars have seasons? Why don't people eat grass like cows?

Mar 02, 2016
36: Grief Is Super Weird
00:55:54

Is there a secret planet opposite ours? Is strawberry flavor fooling us all? How can we be better listeners? Why do people ghost other people?

Feb 23, 2016
35: Should I Get Baptized if I Don't Believe?
00:48:01

Am I Lisa Turtle or Screech? What would happen to lava on the sun? After blowing ones nose, why does one look into the Kleenex? Coconuts are hairy an make milk, are they mammals? When does the early 2000s become "The Turn of the Century"? AND OTHER QUESTIONS ANSWERED!

Feb 16, 2016
34: YouTube Freaky Friday
00:46:09

Can I eat expired Mac N Cheese? What would you do if you only had 300 subscribers on YouTube? Is a kitty on my lap an excuse for tardiness? What if you dumped the sun into a massive MASSIVE bucket of water? What do you do when someone asks you a question that you aren't ready to answer?

Feb 09, 2016
33: Putting Water in Cereal?!
00:51:38

Why do we fall for clickbait? Why do smells become normal? Why do we call aluminum foil "tin foil?" Why do people always ask where I'm from? My name is boring! Are four-sided bananas safe to eat?! THESE AND OTHER QUESTIONS, ANSWERED FOR YOU TODAY!

Feb 03, 2016
32: Broccoli-Flavored Chocolate
00:46:56

Can create fresh water by boiling the sea with a giant magnifying glass? Is suffering necessary for us to appreciate the beauty in life? What about asteroids and super-volcanos! Should a heart be judged by how much it loves or by how much it's loved?

Jan 27, 2016
31: Breakin' the Law (and Being Good.)
00:43:47

Should I give up on my dreams of changing the world? Is mayonnaise an instrument? Why are DVD cases not squares? Can you burn a cucumber? Does the moon have Earth eclipses? Do you have anonymous social profiles?

Jan 19, 2016
30: Ending the Hiaaeetus!
00:44:10

What do you do when your couple friends stop hanging with single you? Should we imagine evil people complexly? Could you light Saturn on fire? How long could humans survive only eating humans? And then we discuss our over/unders for age of death.

Jan 11, 2016
29: Barbershop Genghis
00:38:48

Do you need to be a Patreon supporter to get your question answered? How do I make my partner comfortable at his first Christmas with my family? Why are mini-M&Ms better than the regular kind? Why do we always assume life needs water? And an important update from Sweden!

Dec 22, 2015
28: John's Top Ten Probable Apocalypse List
00:44:41

Why are there no feral cows? What are you looking at? Should you say "Bless You" when someone coughs? What would happen if the magnetic poles reversed? How do I keep my nerves from getting the best of me (while playing competitive Pokemon)? What can we do to make the conversation around religion less awful? And more questions answered here at Dear Hank and John! And YES the new Wimbledon stadium at Plough Lane has been approved!! Edited by Nick Jenkins. Music by Gunnarolla.

Dec 15, 2015
27: Giving Gifts without Breaking the Bank
00:40:54

Did we discover the periodic table, or did we invent it? How do you start running a business with friends? How would one go about crashing the moon into the Earth? Is an emoji a word? And finally, most importantly, when is it ok to start listening to Holiday music?

Dec 07, 2015
26: Should I Make Out with My Roommate?
00:46:27

How do I choose an ethical engagement ring? There's a wasp trapped in my dorm room! How do I know which arm rest is mine at the movie theater? And a question about grammar...from our father. Also, we have a patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Dec 01, 2015
25: LIVE IN NEW YORK it's NARS MEWS!
00:42:00

Why are we so obsessed with zombies? What do you do if your dentist tries to talk to you when you obviously can't talk? How do beat my girlfriend's gift skills? Should I try to re-kindle a friendship with someone who I did something nasty to? AND OTHER QUESTIONS answered here, today, on Dear Hank and John.

Nov 23, 2015
24: The Great Finger Licking Debate
00:42:46

How do you learn new things as an adult? Oral surgery advice? Worrying about hexagons and etc!

Nov 17, 2015
23: OH MY GOD IT'S BURNING
00:45:01

Why do different trees change color at different times? What if a friend isn't creating their creative work that you love? Some advice for job and scholarship interviews. How do I express empathy properly? How should I feel about getting worse at Tetris?

Nov 09, 2015
22: Post-Menopausal Cousin Marriage
00:37:04

How should toilet paper be dispensed? Help! My fingers are glued together! If you hover a helicopter in the same place for 24 hours, why don't you travel around the earth? What food weird combinations do you like? What should I do if a scholarship requires me to read Ayn Rand? AND OTHER QUESTIONS ANSWERED!

Nov 03, 2015
21: Who Am I?
00:48:40

Halloween costume advice. Does John think people are evil? Misunderstanding Risk. Advice for referees of kids soccer games. Would the Bat Signal actually work? How does the stock market work? And, of course, a very brief discussion of the self.

Oct 26, 2015
20: This Episode Contains Puke
00:48:03

Should I cave to my parents and have them at my wedding? Are we just cats? Why does 98 degrees feel hot if that's my body temperature? How do I read slow books? What do you do when your loved one is in a pyramid scheme? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 19, 2015
19: Should I Abandon My Stuffed Animal?
00:34:29

Should I watch YouTube ads? How do I make friends with my old neighbors? What do I do when my daughter won't sleep because she's always on the internet? When is it worth arguing on the internet? Will climate change mess with forecasts?

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 12, 2015
18: Coming to Terms with your Nerdiness
00:43:27

How do I balance my marriage with my career? What if your job isn't morally ambiguous? Is there something wrong with me if I am informed but also not sure who to vote for?

But boy do we spend a lot of time on that first one because we clearly think about it a lot! Also...WATER ON MARS!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Oct 05, 2015
17: Meeting Taylor Swift('s parents)
00:43:35

How do I stop projecting onto people? What do you do when you get pigeonholed as "the smart kid"? Is English class valuable? And of course...do you have any advice for new drivers...of course we do...be very careful and do not kill us.

NOTE: This was recorded before the big Mars news that was released today but, oddly enough, Hank talks about the thing that the news is about which is a bit confusing. Sorry about that.

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 28, 2015
16: Handling Awful Roomates
00:51:44

Hey! Let's talk about Patrick Rothfuss's beard! Also, talking with Nathalie, falling asleep instead of singing, and how to run a press junket. It's a pretty weird and varied episode of Dear Hank and John! A comedy podcast about death.

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 21, 2015
15: Get That In Your Mouth!
00:42:00

What is art? Should we lower the drinking age? What kind of liquor is the best? Who should I play with on Mario Kart? How do decrease my impact on the environment without money? What do you do when "The One" leaves you? And OTHER QUESTIONS ANSWERED!!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 14, 2015
14: Jurassic Mars
00:49:37

Do other people exist? How do I become a good middle school teacher? How do I know if I'm being egotistical? What is "home" and will I ever find it? And a secret that Hank has never told anyone and is totally ashamed of!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Sep 07, 2015
13: John and Hank and Wheezy Waiter!
00:39:38

How do you make friends? What's your favorite planet? What would happen if you fell into Jupiter? Is it all downhill from 30? What sports did you play? If you could be a prodigy at any one thing what would it be?

Edited by Nicholas Jenkins.Theme music by Gunnarolla.

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 31, 2015
12: Tree Climbing Strategies
00:39:09

Do old people love minions? Do you believe in the multi-verse? What languages would you Matrix into your brain? How do you pick a sports team? What do fish dream about? These and other questions answered in this delightful episode of Dear Hank and John.

Edited by Nicholas Jenkins. Theme music from Gunnarolla.

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 24, 2015
11: How Do You "Make Something of Yourself"?
00:37:38

If you could punch anyone in the face, who would it be? Do you need to "protect your image"? Do adults continue to change as they get older? What are some cheap date ideas? If you could invent a new word, what would it be? These and other questions (and also the news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon) are contained within!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 17, 2015
10: When Your Friend Likes Ayn Rand...
00:42:53

Dear Hank and John now with 100% MORE JOHN! Here we discuss what to do when a young relationship is endangered by different goals, whether memory implants would be awesome or awful, and how to pick books and TV shows in a world of infinite content.

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 10, 2015
9: Dear Hank and Felicia (w/ Felicia Day!)
00:48:06

Can you ruin your life in high school? How do you un-friend someone IRL? What video game world would you live in? Hank Green and Guest-John Felicia Day take on these questions and more in the final episode before John's return next week!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Aug 03, 2015
8: Dear Hank and Grace (w/ Grace Helbig!)
00:57:49

How do you adjust to a new culture in a new town? Do I have to study at an Ivy League school? Should I keep chasing my dream? Grace Helbig and Hank Green have all the answers!
 If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 27, 2015
7: What to do About Stomach Farts
00:52:36

How do you avoid being pretentious when you're intelligent, Charlie and Jimmy's school uniforms, when to look for a new job, and all the news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon.
 

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 20, 2015
6: Would You Eat a Moon Sandwich? (w/ Emma Blackery!)
01:16:31

Hank is joined by Emma Blackery (youtube.com/emmablackery) to give you some dubious advice about gherkins, Google Plus, fate and being short.


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 13, 2015
5: Should I Lie to Get a Job? (w/ Maureen Johnson!)
01:02:04

With John out of town on the Paper Towns press tour, Hank calls on long-time John-replacement Maureen Johnson to help co-host this extra long edition of Dear Hank and John. In it, we discuss the science of sight, whether it's OK to lie to get a job, and how to deal with that paralyzing feeling that your life isn't special and that you're just going to do all of the same boring crap everyone else has already done.

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jul 06, 2015
4: What's in a Name?
00:47:34

Will a nickname change who I am? Are the bees OK? Should I go to a fancy college? And is it OK if you don't feel as sad as you think you should? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 29, 2015
3: Pain Demands to be Felt
00:38:26

In which Hank and John discuss pain, the Istari, eschatology, and the slowness of apocalypses. Thank you to all of the many people sending in questions!


If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 22, 2015
2: It's a Humor Podcast!
00:43:24

In which Hank and John answer questions about global development, chronic pain, and being depressed in hotel rooms. It's a humor podcast!! 

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 15, 2015
1: The Debut: Do You Pee on Your Own Head?
00:24:15

John Green and Hank Green get together for the very first time to answer to answer a bunch of questions. Will we go to Ava's wedding? What college major will help the world most? Have you ever peed on your own head? Will humans eventually colonize the galaxy? What's going on with Mars? Also...AFC Wimbledon?!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

Jun 08, 2015