Foreplay – Radio Couples and Sex Therapy

By Laurie Watson

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Category: Sexuality

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Subscribers: 314
Reviews: 2

Crystal
 Mar 11, 2019
My husband and I have been listening to your show for a few weeks now. We love it! It gives each of us a different perspective on how the other one feels and why. We are learning so much together. It's very helpful. Thank you!

Anthony
 Sep 18, 2018
I listen with my wife very informative and entertaining.

Description

Sex podcast to help committed couples keep it hot! Find hope to keep your marriage and committed partnership emotionally connected and sexually erotic. Certified sex therapist Laurie Watson is joined by couples therapist and marriage counselor, Dr. Adam Mathews for an expert, frank and fascinating conversation about sex, love, therapy, relationship dynamics, healthy couples and marriage. We discuss everything from best sexual techniques and solving sexual problems, to building the emotional intimacy necessary for great sex in your relationship! Two therapists bring you sound, concrete tools to reframe your relationship problems and learn how to fall in-love again, rebuild trust, and feel desire. Subscribe to us today!

Episode Date
200: For Richer and Poorer
25:44

Money is one of the Big 3 -- along with Time and Energy. Negotiating the issues around money impacts a couple's capacity for intimacy. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they explore the money issue.

 

Join us for Love and Sex 360 in beautiful Asheville, NC November 15-17.

 

Please subscribe and rate/review Foreplay on iTunes! It helps us get the word out to more people. We appreciate it!

Oct 18, 2019
199: Three Commitments to Better Sex
27:19

One weekend, three commitments, better sex. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss how in one weekend with three commitments you can have a better sexual relationship.

Also a special announcement!

 

Join Laurie and Adam and their colleagues Shelly and Carol for Love and Sex 360, a weekend in November in lovely Asheville NC. More details here!

Help us reach more people... subscribing to the podcast makes us more prominent on the major sources for podcasts. Rating and reviewing helps too!

Ask questions, get on our mailing list on our contact form.

 

Finally, if you haven't filled out our short, 8-question demographic survey, it only takes a couple of minutes!

Oct 11, 2019
198: Extramarital Affair Recovery
26:49

Acting out in an affair are often signs of problems with the person's life. A push / pull dynamic can fuel the infidelity. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about the causes and how to recover from the pain of infidelity.

Join us for Love and Sex 360 in beautiful Asheville, NC. November 15-17. Find out more!

 

Take a moment and fill out our 8-question demographic survey.

 

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Transcript:

Laurie Watson:                  Adam, we're going to talk about extramarital affairs today, a difficult subject and something that certainly brings up a lot of pain for couples, but we want to offer some hope and some new ways to think about it. Hello again, and welcome to Foreplay – Radio Sex Therapy. I'm your host, certified sex therapist, Laurie Watson, author of Wanting Sex Again, and blogger at Psychology Today and WebMD , and I have with me Dr. Adam Mathews, my co-host, who's a couples therapist, psychotherapist, and President of NCAMFT. Foreplay is dedicated to helping couples keep it hot. Thanks for listening. Now, onto today's topic.

Adam Mathews:               A tricky subject today on the podcast, affairs, extramarital affairs. It's tricky for a lot of different reasons, right?

Laurie Watson:                  It is.

Adam Mathews:               People classify affairs in a lot of different ways, in how you label affairs whether, because then, a lot of people, it's not just a sexual affair, it can be an emotional affair. Some people are going to define kissing somebody else as an affair. Somebody might even just describe not telling their partner about a relationship that's forming with somebody that they're attracted to as an affair, and so it's wide-ranging and it's one of the more devastating things to a relationship, right? I think it's devastating in part because of how much it breaks the trust, the core trust in the relationship. It's for most people, especially people in committed monogamous relationships, they believe that their sexual relationship is like the primary boundary that distinguishes their relationship from every other relationship that they have in life, and so that primary boundary gets violated and it gets broken, and so it's very difficult to recover from something like that, but it is recoverable.

Laurie Watson:                  It is.

Adam Mathews:               There are ways that you can begin to move through a healing process in an affair.

Laurie Watson:                  And rebuild trust.

Adam Mathews:               And rebuild that trust.

Laurie Watson:                  Yeah.

Adam Mathews:               Right?

Laurie Watson:                  Yeah. I think that affairs happen for two reasons. One, an affair is a refuge from a relationship problem in the marriage, or in the committed partnership, but it also comes from a pain in a person's life. There's two forces often, or one or the other force that's happening. The classic midlife crises is the person who, maybe there are marital stressors, but they're facing aging, they're facing disappointments in their career.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  There are many internal issues that they're going through that caused them to act out and have an affair.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. Yeah. I would call this the push-pull effect, right? If there's relationship problems going on that can often be pushing them out of the relationship, where they turn to other things, or the internal that's pulling them towards something that they're wanting, that they feel like is lacking either in them internally or in the relationship, and so like recognizing that, those things, you then begin to just turn to something that you feel like is going to give you what you're lacking in that, either that safety in the relationship that you're not experiencing, the excitement, the attention, or it's going to satisfy that kind of pain.

Laurie Watson:                  Right. That's the push.

Adam Mathews:               That's the push.

Laurie Watson:                  That's the push out of the relationship, and the pull toward is what?

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. It is something that you're missing internally in yourself, confidence, loneliness, meaning in life, feeling like there's something that you're missing out on.

Laurie Watson:                  And they're trying to find that in a third-party.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. Right. It's difficult because those things, those things feel very real to the person that's seeking them out, right?

Laurie Watson:                  Yeah, and I'm aware as we're talking about this in a very methodical therapist-like way, we understand that if you've been betrayed, this is very painful.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  Very, very painful, and so we don't want to minimize the person who was in the relationship that did not step out their pain, but we also want you to think about this from two parts. I mean, this recruitment of a third-party actually allows stability to happen without real change, so the person maybe splits off and says, "Okay. I'm going to get my sex needs met over here. I'm going to keep my family intact, and that way, I can have what I need. I can feel stable without actually growing, developing, changing, or making the marriage better, or confronting the issues between myself and my partner, or in myself.

Adam Mathews:               Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think it provides a sense of it's safer, right? It's safer than doing the hard work of addressing those things in the relationship or in the self, and I would say-

Laurie Watson:                  Temporarily say.

Adam Mathews:               Temporarily, yeah, and I think that oftentimes, when people, say the person that has been cheated on says that, "I was blindsided by this. I didn't see this coming," a lot of times, I think it's an effect of that because for a while, it makes the marriage or the committed relationship more stable than it was, and so it feels like things are good, and it's hard to see that, right? As a person that's been cheated on, you're feeling blindsided, you're feeling run over, you're feeling like it's extremely personal, like it's a reaction to you, and to a flaw that you have, or something that's wrong with you, which is not true, but it's hard to see that you didn't really miss something. It just, that introduction of that third person into the relationship made it feel more stable, but that doesn't last, right?

Laurie Watson:                  It doesn't. Right, and it's also false because the fantasy of who that person is includes you're always dressed up, you always have time for each other, you're not talking about the bills, you're not talking about the stressors of your kids.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  I mean, it's a fantasy, and there's very little that competes with that gilded fantasy.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's lots of research that's just, might be helpful to mention too about the fact that affair relationships, people that leave their spouse for affair relationships, those relationships rarely last. Like the longest that they last, the top end is something like three years, so-

Laurie Watson:                  Wow, I didn't know that. I believe that.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  I mean, I think the problem with an affair in terms of the person who's acting out is they're not developing and growing. They're not changing.

Adam Mathews:               Right. Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  Whatever dynamic was not working in the marriage, they haven't fixed that.

Adam Mathews:               Right.

Laurie Watson:                  They haven't confronted it, and so how can they kind of expect that they're going to turn to another person? It's a fantasy to believe that, "I'm just with the wrong person."

Adam Mathews:               Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  As it turns out, we bring ourselves to every relationship, and so we're going to recreate similar problems.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah, your problems are going to follow you in those cases, because you're not actually dealing with anything that's significant, either in the relationship or within yourself, that's going to change it, so you end up having those same problems in the relationship if you fully lean into the affair relationship, right?

Laurie Watson:                  Yeah. Right.

Adam Mathews:               That when, to be able to do that, most people ... I am fully convinced that the vast majority of people do not go into their marriage or enter their long-term relationship feeling like they are going to have affairs, right?

Laurie Watson:                  Absolutely not.

Adam Mathews:               They're not planning on having an affair, and so to get into it, you have to begin to demonize the person that you're with to some extent, right?

Laurie Watson:                  Yeah.

Adam Mathews:               It's either at the very minimum, it's a belief, like you were saying, that they're the wrong person for me, that I'm just not supposed to be with them, and so you have to be able to do that to be able to then be with the affair partner, and so then with the affair partner, you begin to build them up higher than they actually are, right?

Laurie Watson:                  Yeah. I was treating a couple who had an incredibly sustainable marriage. They had been good friends for quite some time, and I mean, really had a good relationship, and somehow or another, an affair had entered in. I think what had happened was they went from this good relationship, and the partner who was having an affair began to tell themselves, "Well, this person is not really going to be with me in the way that I really want them to be with me sexually." The reason they denigrated their partner was because in their heart, the affair partner was truly monogamous, so the only way they could sort of justify what was happening was by saying, "But my partner isn't going to meet my needs, therefore, I need a new partner," because they were violating their own ethic.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  Their own ethic was one of being with one person, and so they couldn't do that without suddenly, kind of putting on the sunglasses and seeing all the flaws of their partner, and also putting on the rose-colored glasses and seeing all the blessings and the excitement of the new partner.

Adam Mathews:               Right.

Laurie Watson:                  I mean, in order to resolve this cognitive dissonance, we have to do something on the inside, and this is what the partner who was having the affair was doing, was just making their partner bad. Affairs do happen in good marriages.

Adam Mathews:               Absolutely, but that cognitive dissonance thing is important because it's very real, and it's helpful for the injured partner, the spouse that's been cheated on to understand that that is happening in the mind of the person that cheated, because it's not ... They almost have to ... A lot of times in, when an affair is happening, the partner will go, "Well, it's ..." They become a different person, right? They become a person, "I don't know who that person is," and that is the resolution of that cognitive dissonance.

Adam Mathews:               They're trying to resolve that, and in doing so, you have to almost become somebody that you're not to be able to have that affair. You have to look at the other person differently, build up the affair partner, and then choose between the, justify these behaviors that for most people, are behaviors that they say they would never engage in.

Laurie Watson:                  Right. I mean, I think the difficulty is people say it's, "The line in the sand," which is a very weird metaphor to me. Like a line in the sand is very shiftable, but anyway, the line in the sand is, "I was going to leave my partner if they cheated," and then they have their real partner cheat, and they realize, "But there's all this good in the marriage," and of course there's huge injury, and if they don't get help quickly, they can't resolve that.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  An affair is basically a solution that doesn't require the couple to face their inadequacies, in their relationship, and their sexual problems, the emotional distance or fusion, as we talked about last week, that result in a lack of eroticism.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. Laurie, why don't we come back after the break, and we want to be sure to tell you how we would deal with it in treatment, and keeping in mind that it is not an easy solution, but there is a solution and a way forward in relationship.

Laurie Watson:                  Okay. Yes, and there's hope, we believe. We want to remind all of you that we are thankful for the way you've shared the podcast. We continue to grow. It is our greatest honor when you share with a friend the work that we're doing and trying to help people so that they can make positive changes and strengthen their marriages and their partnerships.

Laurie Watson:                  We would like to invite you to our retreat in November. Loveandsex360.com is where you find us, and I think the last thing we'd like to say is both of us are doing intensives, so if you would like to work with us, let us know and call our centers. You can find us at foreplay-radio-sex-therapy .com.

Adam Mathews:               If you like what we're doing and want to help support us, we'd love for you to rate and review us on iTunes, so thanks for listening. All right. We are talking about affairs and how to move forward, believing that there's hope even when an affair happens in a relationship for there to be recovery, even without the injured partner having to compromise or to lay down their values, or to lay down their hurt, right? That doesn't have to happen. The affair partner doesn't have to live in the dog house forever in the relationship.

Adam Mathews:               There's ways to begin to move forward to have what I believe is actually a healthier relationship and a better relationship after an affair, if you're able to put into the work and kind of sustain through the really grueling process of recovering from one.

Laurie Watson:                  Yeah. I see couples who, the affair does signify essentially a cry for help in the marriage, and they go forward after treatment in a stronger, more intimate, more trusting place than they could have really gotten to without this crises, and nobody wants to go through that or think, "Isn't there a better way?"

Adam Mathews:               Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  There probably is a better way, but we also think that, like sometimes, a bone that breaks and is stronger when it heals after an affair, your marriage can be stronger.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. Yeah. What's the first step for you when you say, "How do we begin to deal with it?"

Laurie Watson:                  Yeah. First, we want to deal with the impact of it.

Adam Mathews:               Right.

Laurie Watson:                  The problem is, is that in the initial stage, it looks like the marriage is going to reorganize around the aftermath of the affair, instead of around the original problems that were kind of the push out of the relationship. We eventually, as a therapist and as a couple, you want to eventually get to the real problems. The difficulty with this is that the betrayed partner says, "You are saying it's my fault. You are making me responsible for this terrible, hurtful thing that has happened to me," and we're not. We know that it is terrible and hurtful what has happened.

Laurie Watson:                  You are not responsible for the pin that your partner pulled out of the grenade in the marriage. You are not responsible for that. You are responsible for the marriage in general and the problems that the two of you have co-created up until this point.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah, and Laurie, I mean, I think there's difficulty for me in that because I believe on some level, the partner that stepped out of the marriage has to take responsibility for their actions, right?

Laurie Watson:                  Yes.

Adam Mathews:               Nobody forced them to have an affair.

Laurie Watson:                  Right.

Adam Mathews:               Nobody forced them to cheat, or to step out, or to not talk about the problems, or whatever it was that they did. Nobody forced them to do that, right? There may be circumstances that were pressuring, that felt inevitable to them, that they didn't fully understand at the time, but nobody forced them to kiss somebody else, so nobody forced them to have sex with somebody else, to share intimate things with somebody else, and so talk to me about that because I just, I feel like they have to, that one of the first steps that has to happen is that they have to express some remorse, right?

Laurie Watson:                  Absolutely. Absolutely.

Adam Mathews:               If there's no remorse for the affair, then I don't know how to go forward in it.

Laurie Watson:                  Right, and they have to stop the affair if the marriage is going to go forward.

Adam Mathews:               Yes.

Laurie Watson:                  I mean, you can't be with somebody who is with somebody else, at least if that's what you want in terms of monogamy and a sole commitment. You can't do it, so yes, they have to stop the affair.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  They have to express remorse. I think for real healing, which doesn't happen right away, but for real healing, that person has to deeply understand the hurt that they have caused.

Adam Mathews:               Right. Yes, absolutely.

Laurie Watson:                  I think it's very painful in the beginning, because often, the affair partner is entitled. This is how they rationalize part of it, is they talk about, "Well, I have been hurt in this marriage, and this was my only path that I saw."

Adam Mathews:               Oh, sure.

Laurie Watson:                  That may be true for them. It is their only path that they saw, and they don't want to be labeled as a bad person.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. Absolutely, yeah. Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  The person who is betrayed says, "I didn't deserve this," and the person who stepped out says, "I'm not not a bad person."

Adam Mathews:               Yeah, and I think maybe that's the place that ... Maybe that's what you were saying before, is that to me, the person that's been injured, that's been cheated on has to eventually get to a place where they can separate what happened from the character of the person, that they're not a bad person. They've made really bad choices for the relationship, they made very injurous choices for the relationship, things that were, don't condone the affair or say the affair was okay. it was extremely hurtful, and we can sit with that while also saying the person that cheated is not a bad person. That in and of itself, I think takes some time, but I think it has to come as the person that cheated expresses remorse, and that remorse is heard and believed and genuine, followed by their actions of cutting off all contact with the affair partner, and then the person that's been cheating on, being able to express very specifically how they've been hurt.

Adam Mathews:               I hear a lot of people come in, and somebody is cheated and all that and they say, "Well, they should know how I feel. They should know how hurtful this is." Yes, like obviously, they should see that an affair is hurtful, but everybody's gets hurt by it in different ways and specific ways, and so being able to express that hurt and for that hurt to be heard and validated, I think is very important.

Laurie Watson:                  I think pursuers and distancers have affairs for different reasons.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah, absolutely.

Laurie Watson:                  Often, a pursuer will have an affair as a way to get the attention for their partner, like, "I am starving, and this other person has met my need either sexually or emotionally, and now it has become sexual," but it's oftentimes rooted in a point in time in the marriage where the pursuer has given up. "On the marriage, I've tried. I've tried to get through to you. I've screamed and hollered. I haven't been able to," and now they're in a distancing phase, and that's oftentimes when they will have the affair.

Laurie Watson:                  You would think that withdrawers wouldn't have affairs because they don't have that much pull to do it, but ironically, I see lots and lots of withdrawers having affairs, because I think its conflict is scary, intimacy is very difficult for them, and so they hide from that conflict in the primary relationship, but that reduces sexual feelings and eroticisms between them and their partner, and so they split that off into the affair partner.

Adam Mathews:               Absolutely.

Laurie Watson:                  "I'm going to have sex over here because I can't risk the intimacy that real sexuality in partnership demands of me."

Adam Mathews:               Yeah, it's too much.

Laurie Watson:                  "It's too much. It's too intense, and so I split these two things apart." You would think that withdrawers wouldn't do that, but they do, oftentimes have affairs, so-

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. Well, it's just a move outside of the relationship, so for withdrawers, it's a-

Laurie Watson:                  It's an absolute step away.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. For withdrawers, it's the ultimate withdraw from the relationship. For pursuers, it's the ultimate pursue, because you're looking at-

Laurie Watson:                  You're finally caught.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah, absolutely.

Laurie Watson:                  Somebody catches you. You chase, and they catch you, and that's so exciting.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. Well, and the hope of pursuers is that the distancing partner is going to see their affair and go, "Oh my gosh, I had neglected you. I should come towards you and move towards you in that."

Laurie Watson:                  Right. You are valuablae, because the pursuer often feels like they're not valuable to their partner, and so they're trying to get some of that with their outside partner.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  Yeah.

Adam Mathews:               I think after, as you-

Laurie Watson:                  I think the withdrawer is trying to avoid.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah, but you're dealing with that impact. You're dealing in that first step. You're dealing with the hurt. You're dealing with the remorse, but then, moving on to try to ... You call it finding meaning, right? I call it dealing with the decline of the [inaudible 00:20:39], whatever was the decline in the beginning, identifying that push-pull of what was happening before that both people are then responsible for, right?

Laurie Watson:                  Right.

Adam Mathews:               There's hard on both sides on the things that happened before the affair.

Laurie Watson:                  Yeah, and as we're learning sort of EFT, the languages, they're identifying their toxic cycle, right?

Adam Mathews:               Right.

Laurie Watson:                  How did they push and pull with each other? How did the pursuer chase, perhaps criticize, and that pushed the withdrawing partner away? The pursuer wasn't in some way soft enough or safe enough for the withdrawer to really talk about what was going on inside them, or how did the withdrawing partner make their pursuing partner so frantic by their withdrawal that they couldn't get it together, and that this pattern is repeated over and over in many aspects of their lives, certainly sexually?

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  I mean, people don't necessarily have affairs simply over sex. I mean, there is a sexual component, but often, the toxic cycle, and then healing that in the secondary phase of recovery is really important to understand what was going on at the time, where it is the affair fit into that cycle, and can they begin to see that this pattern may not work for them?

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. Yeah. This is often-

Laurie Watson:                  It doesn't work for them.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. This is often ... That part is often the hardest for the person that's been cheated on, right? The first phase of treatment for somebody in an affair, it's the partner that's done the cheating. It's hardest for them during that first phase, and it's harder for the partner that's been injured because talking about the cycle that happened before the affair often feels like condoning the affair, and it can feel like to them-

Laurie Watson:                  Or blaming them.

Adam Mathews:               Or blaming them for the affair, and so, and both things are not true, right? You're not blaming them or condoning the affair, but you're saying, "This is what was happening." Right? This was what was going on in your relationship. Your relationship was not the best before this.

Adam Mathews:               Right? I think a lot of times, you look back when something like an affair happens, and you romanticize, or you look back through rose-colored glasses on history, and you rewrite history a bit and go, "Our relationship was great. Our relationship was fine. Why would they ever do this?" Sometimes you can recognize the difficulty of it, but oftentimes, you look back and go, "The affair should never ... It doesn't fit in that cycle," which is not entirely true, and so you have to understand what was happening and finding that meaning, understanding that cycle so that you can begin to move forward and break that, right?

Laurie Watson:                  Exactly. In that recovery, we want the couple to basically find safety with each other so that vulnerability becomes possible again, sexual vulnerability, but also emotional vulnerability.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  The person who stepped out has to see how painful it was to their partner, and the partner has to see the binds and the difficulties that their partner who betrayed them was feeling, which is really hard work.

Adam Mathews:               It's such hard ... Yeah. Hard work.

Laurie Watson:                  It's such hard work.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah.

Laurie Watson:                  I know that one growth pattern for a man that I was seeing who'd had an affair, he said, "Well, my wife just isn't very creative sexually," and I said, "Do you share with her your sexual fantasies?" He's like, "Nope." I already knew that their sex life was pretty boring. The married couple's sex life was pretty boring, but his complaint was also without his vulnerability and sharing what he wanted and what he thought about, and all that kind of stuff, and so he just split that off, had the affair.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. We believe that it is possible. We kind of given you just a start. I mean obviously, this work needs an outside party. You need a therapist to help work you through this, preferably one that deals with affairs a lot.

Laurie Watson:                  I think you do.

Adam Mathews:               I mean, I think most couple therapists do, but finding one who kind of has a good framework for how to kind of help you move through it, and doing that work, it's difficult, it's hard, but there is hope for rebuilding your relationship. It takes a lot of time. I wish that this is not a quick process. Affair recovery is not ... It's slow, and oftentimes it feels like you're going backward.

Adam Mathews:               Part of the moving forward is really dealing with the flare-ups that come from what I classified as grief. Like it's, you're grieving the relationship that you had, and you're really building a new one, so a lot of times, those emotions flare up, especially for the injured partner, like it comes up randomly through very strange things, things that seemingly may not become-

Laurie Watson:                  Right. They get triggered.

Adam Mathews:               Yeah. They get triggered-

Laurie Watson:                  A politician in your city has an affair, or there's an affair on the movie that you go to see together.

Adam Mathews:               Oh, yeah, or you've somehow find yourself listening to the country station on Pandora, and every song is about an affair.

Laurie Watson:                  Right. Right, exactly. It's easy to get triggered.

Adam Mathews:               But you have to kind of be, learn how to deal with those triggers in your relationship and move forward, so really, just encourage you, if this is something that's happened in your relationship, don't ignore it. Please don't ignore it.

Laurie Watson:                  Yeah. Don't sweep it under the rug.

Adam Mathews:               Don't sweet it under the rug. It's a big deal.

Laurie Watson:                  And don't believe that your only choice is bitterness, that you just have to swallow that this is what happened.

Adam Mathews:               Absolutely. Yes.

Laurie Watson:                  We believe in forgiveness that there's a way, and it doesn't mean that you forget or that you look the other way. It's a way that you truly work through.

Adam Mathews:               Absolutely.

Laurie Watson:                  Thanks for listening.

Adam Mathews:               You can now call in your questions to the Foreplay question voicemail. Dial 833-MY4-PLAY. That's 833, the number four, play, and we'll use the questions for our mailbag episodes.

Laurie Watson:                  Hey, help us stay on top here at Foreplay. We'd love it if you would subscribe and share it with your friends, and please take one sec and rate and review us. Thanks so much.

Adam Mathews:               All content is for entertainment purposes only, and should not be considered as a substitute for therapy by a licensed clinician or as medical advice from a doctor.

 

 

Oct 04, 2019
197: Your Sexual Style
26:57

We all fall into relational patterns in how we initiate sex and respond to initiation, how/when/where we have sex, how frequently, how freely we talk about sex, and so on.

Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss the various styles and how you can spice it up to keep it hot!

 

Join us in scenic Asheville NC for Love and Sex 360! November 15-17! Find out more.

Take our demographic survey!

Sep 27, 2019
196: Becoming Cliterate with Dr. Laurie Mintz
31:14

Dr. Laurie Mintz is the author of 'Becoming Clitorate'. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson as she and Dr. Mintz talk about Orgasmic Equality.

 

Join us for Love and Sex 360 November 15-17 in beautiful Asheville NC.

 

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Sep 20, 2019
195: September 2019 Mailbag
26:51

Are you being used for sex? What is it like to be in a pursuer-pursuer relationship? And more! Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they handle your questions.

 

To submit your question click here!

 

Join us for Love and Sex 360! In lovely Asheville, NC, take a weekend and build your relationship and sex life. November 15-17 2019. For more info click here!

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Finally, if you haven't already, please take a moment and complete our short demographic survey.

Sep 12, 2019
194: Male Menopause
25:26

Do men go through menopause? Listen in with sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about what happens to men as they age.

Come to Asheville, North Carolina for Love and Sex 360! Limited spots available!

 

Sep 06, 2019
193: August 2019 Mailbag
24:53

Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they answer your questions!

 

Join us for Love and Sex 360 -- a weekend retreat in lovely Asheville NC.

 

Check out our sponsor Daily Harvest! Use promo code 'Foreplay' for a $25 off your first month!

Aug 30, 2019
192: Faking Orgasms
24:16

A certain proportion of women will fake an orgasm to reassure their partner. Laurie says this is short-sighted! Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about why women fake orgasms and how to change.

 

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Join us for a romantic weekend in Asheville, NC at Love and Sex 360!

Limited spots available! November 15-17

Aug 22, 2019
191: Forgiveness
28:46

Forgiveness is essential for long lasting love and great sex. Unforgiveness robs a relationship of intimacy, both physical and emotional. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about how to forgive the big hurts and the little hurts that happen in a relationship.

Come out to Love and Sex 360. This November in Asheville, NC. Find out more.

Please help us out by subscribing and giving us a rating and review!

Also if you haven't yet filled out our 8-question demographic survey, it helps us get to know you, our great audience!

Aug 16, 2019
190: Honeymooning Anytime
24:09

The focus of a honeymoon ought to be sex. Whether you are newly married or have been partnered for awhile, getting away for a few days strictly devoted to sex is a great boost to any couple. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they share some tips for a great sex time away.

Come join us for the Love and Sex 360 retreat. Find out more!

Also fill out our short (8-question) survey!

Aug 09, 2019
189: Interview with Erica Delong
26:13

We have special guest Erica Delong! She joins Laurie and talks about being a female sexual pursuer. Find out what it's like!

 

Join us for the Love and Sex retreat! November in Asheville, NC!

 

Help us out by hitting the Subscribe button!

 

Finally, take a minute and fill out our 8-question survey. Let us know who you are!

Aug 02, 2019
188: Riding the Crimson Tide
28:41

To have sex or refrain from sex during a woman's period? Research shows that there are 4 different reactions women have about sex on their periods. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk through the issues about sex on periods.

 

Please take a moment and subscribe so that you don’t miss any of our episodes!

Also check out our Fall retreat at LoveandSex360.com.

Finally, please answer our 8-question demographic survey!

Jul 25, 2019
187: Sexual State of the Union
30:22

Talking regularly about the state of your sexual union is essential to achieving and maintaining a satisfying sexual relationship. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss how to accomplish a regular state of the union.

Please take a moment and subscribe so that you don't miss any of our episodes!

Also check out our Fall retreat at LoveandSex360.com.

Finally, please answer our 8-question demographic survey! 

Jul 19, 2019
186: Mailbag - July 2019
27:33

Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they answer your questions! In this episode: Diagnosing problems with oral sex; and female sexual pursuers and male sexual pursuers.

Please take a moment and subscribe so that you don't miss any of our episodes!

Also check out our Fall retreat at LoveandSex360.com.

Finally, please answer our 8-question demographic survey!

Jul 12, 2019
185: Autopsy of a Sexless Marriage
28:51

Why and how does the frequency of sex decrease in a marriage to the point where it rarely happens? Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they dissect the genesis of a sexless marriage.

Join us for Love and Sex 360 this coming November (15-17)!

 

Also we'd love to find out more about our listeners. Please fill out our short demographic survey!

Jul 05, 2019
184: Fourth of July Fireworks
23:20

Fourth of July fireworks in the sky are great, but what about fireworks in bed? Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and Couples Therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss the two important factors for great sex on the Fourth and any time: fantasy and seduction.

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Jun 28, 2019
183: My Mother is a Sex Therapist
27:41

What is it like growing up with a mother who is a sex therapist? Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and her son, sex therapist Reed Watson as they talk about the unique experiences of growing up with a mother who is a sex therapist.

Jun 21, 2019
182: Virgin Sex--10 Steps to Make It Good
29:42

Our first sexual experience ought to be good. Even if your first sexual experience is in the rear-view mirror, understanding what would make it good through these 10 steps can help your sex life today. Also a great resource to share with someone heading toward their first sexual experience. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson as she shares how to make that first sexual experience good.

Take a quick minute and fill out our listener survey.

 

Please also Rate and Review us on iTunes or your favorite podcast source.

Jun 14, 2019
181: Saying It Better So You Can Do it Better
27:15

Good communication leads to more intimacy which leads to more and better sex. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about communicating better so that you can do it better.

Spend a moment and take our 8-question survey.

Jun 07, 2019
180: My Side of the Bed
26:23

Being connected with your partner is essential to communication and intimacy, but requires being able to take your partner's perspective. When we get stuck on 'our side of the bed' and have difficulty grasping what it is like from our partner's point of view, empathy becomes impossible. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss how to check out 'the other side of the bed'.

If you listen to us through iTunes, please take a moment and rate and review us.

Also, we want to know our listeners better! Help us by filling out our 8-question demographic survey.

May 31, 2019
179: The Perfect Argument
26:56

Learning to argue is essential for intimacy and therefore great sex in a relationship, but is often avoided by couples at all costs. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about how to have healthy arguments.

Please take a moment and fill out our 8-question demographic survey so that we can know you better!

May 24, 2019
178: Too Tired For Sex
27:47

We live our lives on overload: work commitments, family commitments, making dinner, chores, the necessities of everyday life can crowd out sex by making us too tired. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples' therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about ways to deal with the burden and make room for sex.

 

Take our quick 8-question survey here!

May 17, 2019
177: May 2019 Mailbag
25:11

The May 2019 Mailbag episode is here! Sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews take your questions and give you great advice. In today's episode, Laurie and Adam answer questions on what to do after an emotional affair, how to break the ice and have sex for two anxious people, and what does it mean to be 'safe', and others!

 

Take a moment and fill in our 8-question listener survey here!

May 10, 2019
176: Sex Game to Change the Game
28:35

Unhealthy power dynamics in relationships can hamper connection. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they explore the pursuer-distancer dance through the lens of power.

 

Take our short demographic survey here!

May 03, 2019
175: Infertility Grief and Sex
31:54

For National Infertility Awareness Week, Foreplay's sex therapist and author Laurie Watson discusses the impact of infertility, both permanent and episodic, on a couple's sexual relationship.

Apr 26, 2019
174: Sexual Equality
29:51

Sometimes in committed relationship sex becomes unbalanced and the mutuality of the experience goes out the window. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about how to achieve a mutually satisfying relationship.

Apr 19, 2019
173: The Eight Worst Sex Mistakes
26:03

Beware of these 8 sex mistakes! Every couple can fall into these bedroom traps. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples' therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they identify the big mistakes that destroy great sex!

Apr 12, 2019
172: The Secret Emotional Life of Men
26:52

Men are often viewed as mostly manly when they are least emotional. This dichotomy is confusing to men and leads them to most often shut down their emotions. Their partners are often starved for the emotional side of their men. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they explore the secret emotional life of men.

 

Let us know more about you! Take our short, 8-question demographic survey.

Apr 05, 2019
171: Sexual Resilience
28:30

In a committed relationship, challenges of all sorts impact both parties. Resilience is the power and capacity to use these struggles to draw closer together and makes our relationship stronger. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they explain sexual resilience.

 

Tell us more about you! Take our listener survey!

 

 

Mar 29, 2019
170: Female Sexual Pursuers
27:04

Women sexual pursuers are more common than our culture assumes. A woman who wants sex is sometimes viewed as a slut or whore, and is subject to negative feedback. What women sexual pursuers have in common is a solid erotic core. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss developing an erotic core.

Join Laurie and Adam at Love and Sex 360, the upcoming retreat in Asheville, NC. Find more details at our website.

 

Also let us know about you! Fill in our short, 8-question demographic survey.

Mar 22, 2019
169: The Change
27:00

What goes on during menopause? What exactly is changing? What can be done to mitigate the changes from menopause? Join sex therapist and best-selling author Laurie Watson and couples’ therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they take a deep dive into the issues around menopause.

Help us get to know you better! Fill in a short questionnaire.

Join us for Love and Sex 360, April 4th-7th, 2019!

Mar 15, 2019
168: March 2019 Mailbag
29:35

Listener questions answered! The problems with quick orgasms; pursuer shutdown frustrations, and listening to actions versus listening to words. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they respond to listener questions.

Mar 08, 2019
167: Sexual Positions
28:13

Different sex positions have different pluses and minuses in different situations. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss different positions for sex and where they each shine!

Let us know about you! Take our demographic survey here!

Mar 01, 2019
166: Unmet Expectations
26:40

We bring our expectations along with us into any situation. Particularly with our partner, we have a host of expectations that we want our partner to fulfill. A couple can run into problems if their expectations are not discussed, negotiated, and clarified. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about expectations in our relationships.

Help us get to know you better! Fill out our listener demographic survey.

Join us for Love and Sex 360, April 4th-7th, 2019!

 

 

Feb 22, 2019
165: Sleeping with a Narcissist
29:34

Are you sleeping with a narcissist? What is a narcissist in any case? The term is floated around casually and often unhelpfully. Join sex-therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about narcissism in a sexual relationship.

Please let us know more about you! Take our demographic survey at foreplayrst.com/listener-survey.

Feb 15, 2019
164: Overcome the Valentine's Day Curse
25:52

Get geared up for a great, romantic Valentine's Day! Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss ways to make Valentine's Day romantic and overcome the Valentine's Day curse!

Help us get to know you by filling out our demographic survey! Click here.

Feb 08, 2019
163: More Sex, More Money
30:20

The key to a great relationship, the hottest sex, the most money, the best connection, comes from secure attachment. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about how to become more securely attached.

Take our quick demographic survey! Foreplay Survey.

Feb 01, 2019
162: Fellatio
31:32

Following on last week's podcast on cunnilingus, this week we talk about fellatio for the fellows! Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews talk about fellatio!

Take a moment and fill out our demographic survey. We want to find out more about our listeners. Listener Survey! Thanks!

Jan 25, 2019
161: Cunnilingus
24:52

For the majority of women, oral sex is the best way to climax. Often however it gets caught up in the power struggle of the pursuer and distancer. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews get to the specifics of oral sex for her.

Jan 18, 2019
160: The Great American Vibrator
25:54

Gain orgasmic security with the Great American Vibrator! Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk all things buzzing.

The vibrator that Laurie recommends is available through Amazon here.

Help us know you better by filling out our listener demographic survey at our survey.

Jan 11, 2019
159: Fantasy in Relationships -- Part 2
21:11

Fantasy can play an important part in a committed relationship. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson in a seminar discuss fantasy and common obstacles to satisfying sex.

We are asking listeners to fill out a short, 8 question survey so that we can find out more about our listeners. The survey can be found here.

Jan 04, 2019
158: Relationship Goals for the New Year
29:14

Set relationship goals that cannot fail! 97% of new years resolutions fail. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss making great relationship goals for 2019.

We are asking listeners to fill out a short, 8 question survey so that we can find out more about our listeners. The survey can be found here.

Dec 28, 2018
157: Fantasy in Relationships
24:06

Fantasy can play an important part in a committed relationship. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson in a seminar discuss fantasy and common obstacles to satisfying sex.

We are asking listeners to fill out a short, 8 question survey so that we can find out more about our listeners. The survey can be found here.

Dec 21, 2018
156: Mailbag - Self consciousness about sex, intrusive thoughts, and date night sex
29:46

Self-consciousness about sex and talking about sex can get in the way of our intimacy and enjoyment of sex. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about reducing self-consciousness, dealing with intrusive thoughts, and date night sex.

 

Help us get to know you better by taking a short, 8-question survey. Click here.

Dec 14, 2018
155: Holiday Naughty and Nice Ideas
23:21

The holidays can be stressful for many reasons. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they go through the list of naughty and nice ideas for the holiday.

We want to find out more about our listeners! Please click this link to a short, 8-question demographic survey.

Dec 07, 2018
154: Sex After Kids
27:06

Having kids can radically change sex for couples and can complicate our sex lives for a number of reasons. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they work through the issues around sex after kids.

Nov 29, 2018
153: Body Image
23:18

Next to relational distress, a negative body image is the biggest disruptor for derailing sex and desire. While this has traditionally been a woman's struggle, increasingly it is also an isue for men. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about body image issues.

Nov 23, 2018
152: Criticism
29:30

Criticism can be destructive to our relationships. In the fourth and final of Gottman's 'Four Horseman' series, Laurie and Adam address this destructive behavior and distinguish it for communicating complaints in your relationship.

Nov 16, 2018
151: Sex and Anxiety
25:11

Anxiety can interfere with sexual satisfaction. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss how to deal with sex and anxiety.

Nov 09, 2018
150: Mailbag: Listener Questions Answered
27:50

Dr. Adam and Laurie are back at it again answering your listener questions! In today's episode they cover topics on getting your needs met, trusting your partner, a listener's boyfriend struggling with the death of a beloved pet and more! 

 

Love us? Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Nov 02, 2018
149: Defensiveness
28:00

Continuing Gottman's Four Horseman series, Dr. Adam and Laurie dive deep into defensive behavior. Tune in to learn how to spot defensiveness within yourself and your partner. In this episode they offer advice on what to do with this common yet powerful emotion. 

 

Love us on Patreon www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Oct 26, 2018
148: Getting Pregnant
27:44

Sexual problems and the quest for getting pregnant plague more couples than you'd think. The stress of conceiving can often prolong the process. Laurie and Dr. Adam talk infertility, conception and remaining calm with a common goal of pregnancy in mind. 

 

Love us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Oct 19, 2018
147: Sex and Depression
27:53

Dr. Adam and Laurie discuss the complicated relationship between sex and depression in both men and women. They discuss symptoms and how to stay connected when your relationship is impacted by this all too common mental health issue. 

 

Love us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst 

Oct 12, 2018
146: Mailbag: Listener Questions Answered
26:30

Laurie and Dr. Adam answer listener questions about sexual confidence, bringing a third person into a marriage, a porn addicted father and more!

 

Love us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Oct 05, 2018
145: Say Yes to Sex!
25:55

How to say yes to sex! Just because you or your partner is a sexual distancer may not mean you don't want to have sex. Some distancers have difficultly saying yes in the moment. Dr.Adam and Laurie explore how to get over the ''let's go for it'' hurdle. 

 

Love us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Sep 28, 2018
144: Stonewalling
27:25

What to do when your partner shuts down. In the second of Gottman's 'Four Horseman' series, Dr. Adam and Laurie address this destructive behavior and how to get through the seemingly unbreakable barriers of a silent a partner. 

 

Like us? Send us some love on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Sep 21, 2018
143: 10 Tips to Rekindle Romance
26:22

How to bring back the fun and romance into your relationship with these 10 easy tips. Listen in on Laurie’s controversial advice on becoming the "most romantic man in the universe"! Follow us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Sep 14, 2018
142: Before Marriage
29:19

What is the number one most important trait in a good partner? Tune in to find out! In this episode Laurie and Dr. Adam explore the importance of sexual attraction vs emotional attraction. They also reveal red flags to look out for before you fully commit. 

 

Love us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Sep 07, 2018
141: Porn: Good or Bad?
24:52

Porn use can bring out strong reactions on both sides: Some view it as a minor impact on a marriage while others feel it is equivalent to cheating. Dr. Adam and Laurie explore porn’s impact on the sexual partnership and the place of fantasy within a monogamous marriage.

 

Love us on Patreon!: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Aug 31, 2018
140: Contempt 911
25:55

Contempt, one of the most dangerous emotions in a relationship. This episode covers the markers of contemptuous behavior and why it's so destructive to a marriage. Laurie and Dr. Adam offer advice on recognizing this powerful emotion and how to bring the humanity back into your relationship.

 

Support us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Aug 24, 2018
139: Inside the Mind of the Sexual Distancer
27:57

Adam is back in part two of our two-part series on resolving the demand-withdraw sexual cycle. Why does sex feel so much riskier to the distancer than the pursuer? Laurie and Adam give tips on how distancers can better communicate their needs and how both partners can provide clarity and security in this all too common relationship dance.

Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Aug 17, 2018
138: Inside the Mind of the Sexual Pursuer
27:59

What in the world are they thinking? Today's episode is the first of a two-part series about resolving the demand-withdraw sex cycle between partners. Laurie addresses the expectations of the "sexual pursuer" and how to relieve the negative thought patterns that damage your marriage.

Find us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Aug 10, 2018
137: Special Guests: Anatomy of Marriage
41:22

We've got a special treat today! Seth and Melanie, from the Anatomy of Marriage podcast, share how they emerged from crisis in their marriage by developing tools for better communication, shedding shame and understanding their family of origins. Tune in, you don't want to miss this in-depth discussion.

Love us? Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Aug 03, 2018
136: Self-care (for Men)
24:40

Guys need self-care too! Men tend to run on low batteries without knowing handy ways of taking care of their bodies and minds. Dr. Adam and Laurie deliver practical tips on how to be present with yourself and in your relationship as a man or a woman.

 

Love us? Support us on Patreon! www.foreplayrst.com

Jul 27, 2018
135: Daring to be Vulnerable
26:08

How to share your true-self with your partner. Laurie and Dr. Adam dive deep into what vulnerability really means for men (and women too). 

 

Love us? Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

 

Jul 20, 2018
134: Premature Ejaculation
28:03

The easiest sexual problem to cure is often the most difficult to talk about. Dr. Adam and Laurie tackle the confusion and embarrassment associated with premature ejaculation. They offer help on addressing it with your partner and techniques for improving staying power. 

 

Love us? Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Jul 13, 2018
133: Mailbag: Listener Questions Answered
20:49

Laurie and Dr. Adam answer listener questions! A fiancé suddenly experiences attraction troubles, mental health, switching distancer and pursuer roles, and a question from a young woman about the screaming pleasure she sees in the movies. Don't miss this episode!

 

Like us? Support us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Jul 06, 2018
132: Sex Isn't Everything
22:17

Believe it or not sex isn't everything! A well-rounded relationship includes other aspects like shared aspirations, friendship and intimacy. Can you have a great relationship without good sex? Can you have great sex without a good relationship? Tune in to find out. 

 

Love us? Support us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Jun 29, 2018
131: Friendships
26:26

How do friendships impact romantic relationships? Dr. Adam and Laurie discuss keeping your individuality while maintaining a strong bond with your spouse. How to talk about friendship boundaries, the positives of a strong community and how trouble in your friends' relationships can affect your own! 

 

Love us? Join the community on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Jun 22, 2018
130: Getting Naked
22:31

Today's episode is all about nakedness. Why we grow to be self-conscious, positive self-talk and how getting naked in front of your partner builds intimacy and attachment. Shed the shame, shed the clothes! 

Love us? Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Jun 15, 2018
Suicide Prevention
10:19

Recognizing symptoms of depression and hopelessness in your loved one. 

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Jun 12, 2018
129: Mailbag: Listener questions answered
24:29

Today Dr. Adam and Laurie answer your burning listener questions. They cover everything from separate bedrooms to sexting to smoking pot and low libido! Tune in to get answers to the questions you've always wanted to ask. Have a question of your own? Email us at info@foreplayrst.com.

 

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/foreplayrst/memberships

Jun 08, 2018
128: Sex and Alcohol
23:00

The effects of alcohol on sexual performance and satisfaction are complicated. Dr. Adam and Laurie debate the pros and cons of this widely used social lubricant in your sex life. 

 

Love us? Support us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Jun 01, 2018
127: When does sex end?
21:52

Just because he orgasms doesn’t mean sex is over! To know when sex ends first we have to know what sex actually is. Join us as Laurie and Dr. Adam cover the sex cycle and how ending it right can improve your overall sense of satisfaction and desire.

 

Love us? Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

May 27, 2018
126: 7 Sex Dos and Don'ts
22:30

Don't miss these common dos and don'ts! Covering everything from phone etiquette to laughing at your loved one's short comings, Laurie and Dr. Adam give great tips on definitely what NOT to do between the sheets.

 

Like us? Supports us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

May 18, 2018
125: Dividing Chores for Better Sex
23:07

Dr. Adam and Laurie delve into the dirty details of how splitting your household tasks can impact your sex life. 

Like us? Become a Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

May 11, 2018
124: Is age really just a number?
24:53

Even a five to ten year age difference can have a meaningful impact on communication, health and sexpectations.  Dr. Adam and Laurie tackle blending families and other issues that can arise when marrying someone older or younger than yourself. Love us? Support us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

May 04, 2018
123: Sex and Self-Confidence
27:25

How to end the comparison game. Laurie and Dr. Adam discuss positive self-talk and tools for forgetting that critical voice, in and out of the bedroom.

 

Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/foreplayrst

Apr 27, 2018
122: Morning Sex
24:49
Equally loved and loathed by many, today's hot topic is all about getting busy in the AM. Dr. Adam and Laurie give tips on how to make morning sex great and delve into the biological differences between the genders in when they want it most. 
 
Want to keep it hot? Support us on Patreon.
Apr 20, 2018
121: What Happens in Sex Therapy
28:19

What goes on in the sex therapist's office? This week Laurie and Dr. Adam dispel popular myths around their practices and discuss who can benefit from talking to a trained professional.

Like what you here? Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/foreplayrst.
Apr 13, 2018
120: Facebook Friends and Exes in Town
29:28

Setting good boundaries with your partner shouldn't feel like a power struggle. Sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples counselor Dr. Adam Mathews discuss safeguarding your relationship and what to do if those boundaries get crossed.  

Apr 06, 2018
119: Sex Advice for Young Couples
26:17

Struggling with sexual problems in your 20s? You're not alone! In today's mailbag episode Dr. Adam and Laurie discuss common reasons for trouble in the bedroom, even for couples who are just getting started.

 

Support us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/foreplayrst!

Mar 30, 2018
118: Sexual Addiction and the Hole in the Soul
28:37

Sexual addiction or sexually compulsive behaviors involve using increasingly risky sexual actions to fill an inner emptiness. What is sexual addiction; what it is not. Healing the rift with EFT therapy.

 

Support us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/foreplayrst!

Mar 24, 2018
117: Stealing the Covers and Other Nighttime Disturbances
27:03

How you handle the non-sexual behaviors we share with our partner in bed – both positive and negative – can draw us together or drive us apart. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couple’s therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about stealing the covers and snoring.

Support us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/foreplayrst!

Mar 16, 2018
116: Affair Discovery
28:56

Affair discovery! To-do's and not to-do’s in the first few moments after discovering your partner is having an affair. While sexual betrayal strikes at the very heart of commitment, marriages and partnerships can often emerge stronger after an affair. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples' therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk through the steps to take if you find your partner has been having an affair.

Mar 09, 2018
115: Sexual Perfectionism
29:13

Having high standards and being driven to meet them can produce good results in life. But in your sexual relationship, being a perfectionist can be a problem. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss how to deal with sexual perfectionism in yourself and your partner.

Mar 02, 2018
114: What to Do When Your Partner Says No
27:21

Handling a rejection when we want to be intimate can sting. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk through how to handle sexual rejection.

Feb 25, 2018
113: Treating Erectile Dysfunction
35:25

Erectile Dysfunction has many potential causes and ways of treatment. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk with urologist Dr. Ryan Terlecki about the various ways of treatment of ED.

Feb 18, 2018
112: Valentine's Day 2018
26:23

Sexiest day of the year! Don't think you can write this day off as a greeting card holiday. Why sex is essential on Valentine's Day. Learn what Laurie and Adam are doing with their spouses to celebrate!

Feb 11, 2018
111: Male Sexual Desire Disorder
26:59

Men can have low libido and low sexual frequency for a number of reasons.Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Adam Mathews as they discuss the various causes of male sexual desire disorder and what to do about it.

Feb 05, 2018
110: Dating and Sex after Divorce
28:20

The challenges that a divorced person faces when they begin to date again are real and painful. Even more complications come when you start a sexual relationship after divorce. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and couple’s therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about the whens, hows, and whys of dating and sex after divorce.

Jan 28, 2018
109: Her Arousal on Thursday Night
23:33

Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson as she gets down to the fine details of women's arousal patterns in this solo episode of Foreplay!

Jan 22, 2018
108: Pursuer Pitfalls
27:03

What to do if you are a sexual pursuer and you feel constantly rejected and even the sex you have feels perfunctory? Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about the changes to make if you fall into the Pursuer Pitfalls.

Jan 14, 2018
107: The Ultimate Sex Game
28:04

The path to a long-term successful relationship requires putting your relationship above your individual interests, which runs counter to where we always start and where our culture starts, which is 'me first.' Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss how to win the relationship game and how to avoid 'starfish sex.'

Jan 07, 2018
106: Relational Resolutions 2018
26:02

New Years is commonly time for resolutions. But often those resolutions aren't about our primary relationships. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they share their own goals for 2018 and how to formulate effective relational goals.

Dec 31, 2017
105: Ghosts of Christmas Past
27:46

The holidays can evoke memories and strong feelings about our families. Managing these experiences in the holidays is a path of growth. Join sex therapist and acclaimed author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about dealing with our sexual pasts.

Dec 26, 2017
104: Grieving What Hasn't Been
29:00

Each of us has unreal expectations and fantasies about our partner and our relationship. When we are realistic about our sex lives, we can let go of, and decide to grieve, the losses of our idealizations of our partner and our sex lives. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couple’s therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about what and how to grieve.

Dec 17, 2017
103: I am Good, You are Bad
28:33

Black and white thinking is something that we can often fall into with our partner; doing so seems like it simplifies the world. But rigid black and white splitting is unrealistic and damaging. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss how black and white thinking impacts your relationship and your sex life.

Dec 11, 2017
102: Leaving a Sexual Intimacy Legacy
26:55

While we don’t often think of it in terms of our sex life, we leave our children a sexual intimacy legacy. Becoming more intentional about how we embody our sexual relationship directly and indirectly impacts our children. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about leaving a vibrant relational and sexual intimacy to the next generation.

Dec 03, 2017
101: Why Men Don't Talk
29:05

The strong, silent type is the culturally-valued view of classic manhood. Join nationally acclaimed author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about this classic archetype of manhood.

Note to our listeners: We have solved the sound problems that have plagued our recording sessions over the past 8 episodes. Since we record once a month for 3 to 5 episodes, it took us some testing and switching out equipment to figure out the problem. We have solved the issue(s) that were plaguing our system. This is the final poor-quality episode. Clear sailing from here out.

In this episode, we are offering a Foreplay RST coffee mug for the first 3 listeners who send us a rating/review on iTunes. Here’s what you need to do: go to iTunes on your computer (it doesn’t work on iPhones); search the store for Foreplay and click through to our page on the iTunes store. Click on ‘Rating and Reviews’ toward the top of the page. Then under ‘Customer Reviews’ click on the ‘Write a Review’ button and you will be able to rate us and write a review. Email us a screenshot of your review to info@foreplayrst.com. We’ll randomly draw three names from the emails we receive and we’ll send you out a Foreplay RST coffee mug!

Nov 26, 2017
100: A Sexual Feast
27:39

Just as in feasts like Thanksgiving, where we take our ordinary day-to-day activities and raise them to a new level, our sexual lives benefit greatly from quarterly sexual feasts – times together where our sexual times together get to a new level. Join national author and popular sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss the benefits and how-to’s of having a sexual feast.

 

Note to our listeners: We have figured out our technical recording problems and are back to the quality levels that we have set for ourselves.  However, we have one more (Episode #101 next week) that was recorded while we were still having problems.

Nov 19, 2017
99: How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Sex Life
28:10
How does your attachment style impact your sexual relationship? Join popular author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss how to know what your attachment style is and how it impacts your sex life.
Nov 12, 2017
98: When Sex Goes Wrong
24:30

Many things can make sex goes wrong; some have easy fixes. Join acclaimed author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and couple’s therapist as Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss the things that can wrong and what to do about it.

Nov 05, 2017
97: Optimal Sex and the Best Orgasms
27:04

Reaching orgasm is only the beginning. Optimal sex involves deeper connection and leads to more satisfying sex and even better orgasms. Join sex therapist and acclaimed author Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about how to get the most meaningful sex and the best orgasms.

Oct 30, 2017
96: #MeToo
26:02

#metoo - Laurie and Adam discuss their professional and personal experience with abuse and harrassment. In a serious conversation, they raise futher awareness about the stats and real situations of harassment and assault women face and why it matters.

Oct 22, 2017
95: Get More Sex Now -- Increasing Sexual Frequency
29:18

Husband’s positive behavior toward partner increases frequency of sex – but don’t wait too long to be positive guys. Even if you don’t feel like being positive, being positive is the route to more sex. What is positive behaviors? “Saying I love you” • “Making partner life” • “Engaging in physical intimacy outside of sex” • “Appreciative expressions” and more. Tune in to sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couple’s therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they share what works in increasing sex frequency.

Oct 15, 2017
94: Seven Ways to Increase Her Orgasmic Power
28:36
Oct 08, 2017
93: The Complexity of Male Sexuality
27:21

The expectations in relationship and in our culture for what it means to be a man often comes down to a big erection that works every time. The prevalence of porn has communicated unrealistic ideas about sex and sexuality. Join sex therapist and popular author Laurie Watson and couple’s therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they explore the complexity of male sexuality.

Oct 01, 2017
92: Secure Attachment Equals Plenty of Sex
28:44

A thriving, vibrant sexual relationship develops best in our relationship when we feel safe and secure and when we help our partner feel safe and secure. Join sex therapist and popular author Laurie Watson and couple’s therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about how to move to a more secure relationship.

Sep 24, 2017
91: Adam's Midlife Crisis Plan and Help with Hot Sex
27:50

Do you want long-term great sex? We have your growth plan and challenges mapped out. Join sex therapist and popular author and blogger Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they share how to have great sex for a lifetime. Laurie's blogs can be found on WebMD and Psychology Today where Laurie's blogs are frequently rated the most popular. Laurie's counseling center can be found at AwakenLoveandSex.com and Adam can be reached at mathewscounseling.net.

Sep 17, 2017
90: Sexual Pursuer Rescue Plan
27:39

Sexual pursuers can sabotage themselves through their own thinking about sex in the midst of the experience. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson as she talks about how sexual pursuers can manage their desire for great sex.

Sep 10, 2017
89: Mailbag -- Bodily Functions and Syncing Sex
27:37

Today's Mailbag Topics: Living in an intimate relationship includes sharing spaces and being exposed to our partner in ways that may not be appealing; and how to sync up the best times for sex. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they take questions from listeners. If you have a question for a mailbag episode, email us at info@foreplayrst.com. We are also set up now to take live callers. If you want to do a live mailbag episode, send us an email and we will arrange a time to have you call in!

Sep 03, 2017
88: Mid-life Crises and Sex
27:04

Mid-life crises are often caricatured, but often in our 50’s there is a real change in sex – declining abilities and physical attraction. These changes can be disruptive to our relationship unless handled well. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples’ therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss how to successfully handle mid-life crises with tips that work even if you are young!

Aug 27, 2017
87: Ten Mistakes Couples Make about Sex - Part B
26:47

Couples in committed relationships fall into certain traps and mistakes. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples' therapist, Dr. Adam Mathews, as they cover the second five of 10 Mistakes Couples Make about Sex.

Aug 20, 2017
86: Ten Mistake Couples Make about Sex
29:08

Couples in committed relationships fall into certain traps and mistakes. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couples' therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they cover the first five of 10 Mistakes Couples Make about Sex.

Aug 13, 2017
85: Friendship and Sex
28:42

Relationships have three broad areas of relating: the mundane details that must be done in live, sexual intimacy, and being friends -- liking our partner, enjoying their company, sharing the details of our inner worlds. The best relationships manage to have all three work; imbalance among them leads to problems. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about balancing these three essential arenas of relationship.

Aug 06, 2017
84: Involuntary Celibacy
27:18

Involuntary celibacy (going more than 6 months without intercourse) within a committed relationship occurs more frequently than you would imagine. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they explore the reasons behind involuntary celibacy and what couples can do to address (and avoid) it.

Jul 30, 2017
83: Male Pursuit and Female Resistance
31:12

After the wedding day, it is often easy for each partner to take their partner for granted. Men need to continue to pursue their partners. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk to caller Joe from Raleigh about men pursuing their partners.

Jul 23, 2017
82: Weight, Sex, and Marriage
28:30

Weight, sex, and marriage – Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couple’s therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they wade into the sensitive and dicey topic of weight gain in marriage and how it can impact a couple’s sexual relationship.

Jul 17, 2017
81: Pleasure
27:00

Pleasure can often be hard to arrive at with our performance-oriented, accomplishment seeking culture. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about what keeps us from pleasure and how to encourage pleasure with your partner.

Jul 12, 2017
80: Ending the Fight
31:39

Fighting in relationship is unavoidable with two people with natural differences. Often because our wants and needs are involved, our fights in committed relationships can escalate emotionally. How to fight fairly and how to end a fight are equally important. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews discuss how to end a fight.

Jul 09, 2017
79: Impact of Stress on Sex
28:29

Stress impacts sexual desire for both men and women. For women, stress can lower desire; for men, it can either lower or increase desire. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss stress and sex. 

Jul 03, 2017
78: Medical Challenges and Disabilities
25:31

Both short-term and long-term medical challenges/disabilities can impact a committed relationship. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews discuss how to handle these difficult situations.

Jun 25, 2017
77: Long-distance Relationships
27:31

Some couples are faced at times with relating over a long-distance, whether due to business travel, being in the military, school, etc. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Laurie Watson talk through how to survive long-distant relationships both sexually and emotionally in a committed relationship.

Jun 18, 2017
76: Confidence in Your Sexual Self
28:44

From adolescence onward, culturally we are expected to be sexually confident, often with no space for a learning curve. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews talk about developing sexual self-confidence.

Jun 11, 2017
75: Trust
28:50

Trust is a foundational element in a relationship. In our sexual relationship, part of trust is worshiping our partner with our bodies. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they explore building trust and how it is broken in relationship.

Jun 05, 2017
74: Jealousy
27:40

Can jealousy be healthy? If so, how? Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss how jealousy can be healthy and be helpful to a committed relationship.

May 28, 2017
73: Getting Comfortable Talking about Sex
28:08

Getting comfortable talking about sex and what you want in bed is directly correlated to satisfaction in committed relationships. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they help you get comfortable talking about sex. From a talk given by Laurie and Adam at the North Carolina Marriage and Family Therapist annual conference.

May 24, 2017
72: Making Time for Sex
27:39

In our busy lives, sometimes sex is bumped down the priority list by work, children, or other responsibilities. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss the necessity of scheduling time for sex.

May 21, 2017
71: Self-forgiveness
29:06

When we are critical and hard on ourselves, intimacy is more difficult. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss how to forgive yourself.

May 14, 2017
70: Trauma in Your Partner
30:00

What to do if your partner has been sexually traumatized in their past? From big traumas of date rape, sexual assault, or groped to serial sexism or shaming messages about sex. Each trauma has an individual impact. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss how to relate to a lover who has had trauma.

May 08, 2017
69: Ruthlessness
24:27

The ideal in a sexual relationship includes room for each partner to be ruthless in pursuing their own satisfaction. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they explore the benefits of a ruthless pursuit of sexual satisfaction.

Apr 30, 2017
68: What Women Really Think about Sex
25:55

Now it is the women's turn! In this episode, author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews take up what women really think about sex. Compared to men whose body's testosterone drives sexual desire, for most women, it is their mind and imagination that is the source of their sex drive.

Apr 23, 2017
67: What do men really think about sex?
27:51

What do men really think about sex? Move beyond the stereotypes and join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about what men really think about sex.

Apr 16, 2017
66: Postpartum Issues
31:41

In a response to a reader email, author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews take a deep dive into issues that arize for couples after childbirth.

Apr 09, 2017
65: Questions and Answers with Laurie Watson and Adam Mathews
34:54

Author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews presented a seminar on sex therapy to attendees at the North Carolina Association of Marriage and Family Therapists on March 30, 2017. Here are exceprts from the Question & Answer period.

Apr 03, 2017
64: Mailbag -- Impact of childhood and religious upbringing
32:47

Often our religious and family environments in childhood carry forward into our adult sex lives. Even when we believe and want to be free in bed, often those early messages get in the way of our sexual fulfillment. In this mailbag episode, join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss the impact of these early messages and how to overcome them.

Mar 27, 2017
63: Am I Normal?
26:02

Everyone has questions about what is normal in life, but particularly in our sex lives. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about specific questions of what is normal in sex.

Mar 20, 2017
62: Sexual Lulls
24:52

Sexual lulls happen in every committed relationship -- periods of little or no sex. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Adam Mathews as they discuss why sexual lulls happen and how to get out of them.

Mar 12, 2017
61: Emotional Connection
28:00

Emotional connection is not the same as being highly emotional. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews and learn the five ways to build emotional connection with your partner.

Mar 05, 2017
60: Sexual Bids
26:46

Our communication with our lovers (and others) can be broken down into discrete bids for attention and interactions. In thsi episode of Foreplay, sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews discuss the role these bids play in seducation and sex.

Feb 26, 2017
59: How to Keep Your Love Alive -- Part 2
29:54

Part 2 of the Keynote Speech author and sex therapist Laurie Watson gave to the Forsyth (NC) Medical Society "How to Keep Your Love Alive. September 1, 2016.

Feb 23, 2017
58: How to Keep Your Love Alive -- Part 1
37:54

Keynote Speech author and sex therapist Laurie Watson gave to the Forsyth (NC) Medical Society "How to Keep Your Love Alive. September 1, 2016.

Feb 20, 2017
57: The Power Struggle
25:43

Every couple struggles in ways that are common -- The Power Struggle. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they dive into the whys and hows of the Power Struggle.

Feb 16, 2017
56: Anal Sex - Why are we talking about it?
25:47

Do women want anal sex? Do they orgasm with anal sex? Do men find it more exciting than vaginal sex? Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews take on this trendy subject with honest answers to your questions.

Feb 12, 2017
55: The Highly Sexual Couple
25:05

Couples who have consistent, frequent sex have certain characteristics in common. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychologist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss these specific characteristics.

Feb 05, 2017
54: Seven Things Not to Say
24:25

While it is important to be honest in our committed relationships, tact goes a long way to making takling about the sensitive areas surrounding sex. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about the seven things not to say to your lover around sex. 

Jan 29, 2017
53: Sex and the Working Couple
25:59

Balancing the demands of work with family and your partner can be difficult. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they share strategies for keeping your relationship hot with the demands of work and home.

Jan 22, 2017
52: Stages of Sex
25:45

Sex follows a specific pattern from initiation to resolution. Understanding these stages helps to 'know where you are'. Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Adam Mathews as they lead you through the stages of sex.

Jan 14, 2017
51: Sex During Pregnancy
28:45

Through the three trimesters of pregnancy, a woman's body changes in different ways, but that doesn't mean that sex can't be good. Join author and certified sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about the changes in a woman's body at the different stages of pregnancy and how to keep sex alive and hot during pregnancy.

Jan 07, 2017
50: Sex Resolutions for the New Year
27:19

It's a new year and it is time for new year's resolutions -- including for sex! What sexolutions are you setting for 2017? Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews discuss the benefits and how-to's of sexolutions for 2017.

Dec 30, 2016
49: Foreplay Mailbag -- Recovering from Infidelity
28:15

The painful impact of infidelity in a relationship can be overcome with hard work and direct communication. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk through the process of recovering from infidelity.

Dec 25, 2016
48: Sex at the Holidays
25:16

Straightforward 'how-to' guide to using the time at the holidays to 'sex up' your relationship. Listen as author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Adam Mathews as they talk about sexy gifts and how to further your relationship during the hurly-burly of the holidays.

Dec 18, 2016
47: Pursuers and Distancers in Bed
27:22

Sex is often snagged in the relational problems of attachment -- the pull between closeness and autonomy. To improve sex, understanding this relational tension is essential. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they explore how pursuers and distancers come together in sex.

Dec 12, 2016
46: Attachment -- the basis for sex
26:44

The foundation for a healthy sex life comes from our ability to be attached to others. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they explain this important foundation for your sex life.

Dec 05, 2016
45: Sex Rules
26:50

Unspoken and explicit rules for sex: when, where, and how sex can happen with your partner can limit our sexual expression. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and pyschotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews discuss bringing these rules into a conversation with our partner.

Nov 27, 2016
44: Seduce Her
29:08

Often seduction seems to fade after the initial courtship in a committed relationship. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss the four questions to discuss with your partner to bring seduction back to a relationship and keep it hot!

Nov 20, 2016
43: Breakdown in Paradise
26:36

Conflict drives true intimacy! Too many couples want to eliminate conflict in their relationship; but to be intimate requires healthy conflict. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews discuss how to build a backlog of good sex and emotional connectedness that will allow conflicts to help build rather than destroy your relationship.

Nov 13, 2016
42: November 2016 Mailbag
27:12

 

Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they answer and discuss letters and questions that you the listeners have sent in.

  • What if you aren’t currently in a relationship? How do you keep your sexual self alive?
  • How can you have a satisfying sexual relationship when one of the people in the couple struggles with chronic pain?
Nov 06, 2016
41: When Your Partner Travels
25:50

What to do if one partner travels? How to manage the separation and make your time together a time for reconnection and building your relationship. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews share ideas for managing the stress of travel.

Oct 30, 2016
40: Make Up Sex
22:51

Make Up Sex. The best way to end an argument! Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews discuss the reasons behind the best sex after a conflict.

Oct 23, 2016
39: Witches, Wenches, and Role Play
28:04

Halloween and sex! What the emphasis on sexuality in women's Halloween costumes reveals about how our current culture views a woman's sexuality. Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and her co-host Dr. Adam Mathews hold the mirror of Halloween to discuss the impact of culture on sexuality.

Oct 16, 2016
38: Am I doing it right?
26:24

What can we do when we feel inadequate in bed or fear that we're not doing it right. How to manage the expectations we all have in bed. Join certified sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and her co-host pyschotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews in exploring this sensitive topic.

Oct 09, 2016
37: Breast Cancer
24:54

Breast cancer survivors suffer additional sexual side effects in addition to the gross impact to her physical breasts. From the point of diagnosis onward, breast cancer has a big impact on a women's sexual life. Join popular author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews discuss the huge impact of breast cancer on a woman's sexual relationship. Even if you aren't impacted directly by breast cancer, many of the points Laurie and Adam make can benefit anyone's sex life. 

Oct 02, 2016
36: Masturbation
23:33

Masturbation is often a charged topic with many individuals and couples. The messages we receive about masturbation can influence our current sexual relationships. Join popular author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychologist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss maturbation through adolescence and into adulthood, as well as it's impact on coupled sex.

Sep 25, 2016
35: Five Mistakes Men Make in Bed
25:40

Time to turn the tables. This week we take on the men, with 5 common mistakes that men make in bed. Join popular author and certified sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychologist Dr. Adam Mathews as they share these pitfalls to avoid.

Sep 19, 2016
34: The Five Mistakes Women Make in Bed
28:18

In this solo episode, author and sex therapist Laurie Watson talks about five of the common mistakes women make in bed, including focusing on body flaws and initiating too subtly.

Sep 12, 2016
33: Caveman Sex
25:26

Men and women approach sex often with different views of what is 'ideal'. Men are geared to the immediate, athletic style; women to more sensual and romantic. Balancing these differences can make our sexual relationship dynamic and hot!

Join popular author and sex therapist Laurie Watson and psycotherapist Dr. Adam Mathews talk about sex from the male viewpoint.

Sep 05, 2016
32: Size Isn't Everything
24:45

The popular conception is that a larger penis results in better sex. Join author and certified sex therapist Laurie Watson and her co-host psychologist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about the real world impact of penis size on sexual satisfaction.

Aug 29, 2016
31: The G Spot
16:40

Is the G-Spot real? Does every woman have one? Where is it? How to stimulate it? Join certified sex therapist Laurie Watson and psychologist Dr. Adam Mathews discuss the elusive G-Spot and how to discover it, and employ it in your sex life.

Aug 21, 2016
30: When He's Inhibited
28:52

Contrary to our cultural assumptions, men can be inhibited sexually just as easily as women.  Join certified sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and Dr. Adam Mathews discuss the underlying reasons and cures for sexual inhibition in men.

Aug 14, 2016
29: Physical Attraction
28:46

Afraid you've lost attraction to your partner? Certified Sex Therapist Laurie Watson and psychologist Dr. Adam Matthews explain why attraction can lessen in long-term relationships. Learn practical and psychological ways to feel desire again for your partner or spouse.

This episode is the final episode with lessened sound quality. We'll be back next week with our awesome quality level of sound.

Aug 07, 2016
28: Erectile Dysfunction
24:22

Find out the reasons behind Erectile Dysfunction and ways to cope with this syndrome to maintain a satisfying sexual relationship.

Jul 31, 2016
27: Sexy Getaways
24:58

Find out some great ideas for sexy getaways from certified sex therapist Laurie Watson and Dr. Adam Matthews.

Jul 25, 2016
26: Technology Menage a trois
23:13

With laptops and smartphones, technology can seem like a third partner in a relationship. Listen to Laurie and Adam suggest ways to deal with this intrusive partner.

Jul 18, 2016
25: Sex after Trauma
25:15

After a sexual trauma, whether recent or not, a satisfying sexual relationship can be difficult to recover for a women. Listen to Certified Sex Therapist Laurie Watson and psychotherapist Adam Matthews discuss this sensitive topic. Dealing with the shame and pain of a past violation needs to be talked through and healed.

Jul 11, 2016
24: Cunnilingus -- How to please her
20:39

Cunnilingus is an essential part of pleasing your woman. Listen in to a frank, helpful discussion of this essential part of love and sex.

Jul 03, 2016
23: Honeymoon Expectations and Sexpectations
23:09

With wedding season upon us, Laurie and Adam turn to discussing honeymoons and the relational changes that occur -- even for long-term couples.

Jun 28, 2016
22: Spirituality and sexuality
33:18

Faith and sexuality are not mutually exclusive, but can support and enhance each other. Often however in many faith practices, even knowledge about sex is ignored or suppressed, which can lead to problems once sex is allowed and expected in marriage. Listen to Laurie Watson and Dr. Adam Mathews discuss this delicate subject.

Jun 20, 2016
21: Desire Discrepancies
42:26

Discrepancies in desire are a stress on a relationship, and are common at different times in a relationship. Listen to sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and Adam Matthews provide helpful insight and tips for dealing with desire discrepancies in this first Mailbag episode where we respond to your questions. If you have a question, visit us at www.foreplayrst.com.

Jun 12, 2016
20: Talking to your teens about sex
43:55

Following up on last week's episode on talking to your younger children about sex, join Foreplay as we discuss talking to your teenagers about sex. Learn how to not only talk to them, but have them talk to you!

Jun 06, 2016
19: Talking to your children about sex
38:23

Talking to your kids about sex may be the most dreaded conversation for many parents. Some parents may never have a frank discussion with their children on the topic of sex.  Learn what to say and when to say it; give your children a great start to a future healthy sexual relationship.

Jun 01, 2016
18: Making Lemonade with Beyoncé
26:05

A woman who is betrayed in a relationship can feel inadequate and insecure. Laurie and Adam use the lyrics of Lemonade by Beyoncé to explore the feelings that follow an affair.

May 15, 2016
17: Affair Recovery
25:20

Recovery from an Affair – The delicate process of recovering from an affair; what works best for restoring the relationship.

May 08, 2016
16: Pornography
25:19

Pornography – The wide-ranging impact of pornography: what it is and how it impacts couples, including difficulties in arousal, attraction, and relationship.

May 01, 2016
15: His and Hers Fantasies
23:05

Fantasies can play an essential role in keeping a sexual relationship vibrant. Men and women's fantasies differ and understanding the differences can heighten the couple's experience together.

Apr 25, 2016
Episode 0: Foreplay
24:16

Foreplay -- What's it all about? Why is foreplay essential for the sex life you want to have.  Join author and sex therapist Laurie Watson discuss the whole point of the podcast Foreplay.

Apr 18, 2016
14: Variety
25:01

Variety and creativity in sex can both make our sexual relationship sizzling, but it can also be a source of tension.  Join Laurie Watson, author of "Wanting Sex Again" and her co-host discuss variety!

Apr 10, 2016
13: Affairs: What counts?
25:37

What is an affair? It can be broader than sex-outside-the-relationship. Different people have different definitions, which leads to tension within the relationship. Who can we be for our partner? Join Laurie and Tony as they discuss the difficulties of affairs.

Apr 03, 2016
12: Talking
24:42

Talking is one of the most underrated parts of Foreplay... and it can begin in the morning and last all day long. Join Laurie Watson and her co-host Tony Delmedico for this important, and overlooked, way to improve your sex life.

Mar 28, 2016
11: Premature Ejaculation
17:48

Premature Ejacualtion -- the number 1 sexual dysfunction for men is easily cured. Author Michael Castleman joins Laurie and gives vital information about the steps to cure PE.

Visit Michael's amazon page and his blog.

Mar 25, 2016
10: Kissing
26:19

Kissing often falls off in a long-term relationship. As the eyes are the window to the soul, kissing is the window to the heart.  Join the conversation with Laurie and Tony!

If you have topics that you'd like to hear about, email us at info@foreplayrst.com.

Mar 21, 2016
9: When Sex Changes
26:23

The frequency of sex in a relationship can change suddenly -- whether on the honeymoon, when partners decide to live together, or at other points when life crowds in and crowds out sex. Join Laurie and Tony as they discuss why this happens and what can be done about it.  Email the questions you want Laurie and Tony to address to info@foreplayrst.com. Visit us on the web at www.foreplayrst.com.

Mar 14, 2016
8: 52 and Needing Blue
23:19

Erectile dysfunction in men 45 and older in a partnered relationship is a problem with solutions. Listen to Laurie and Tony distinguish physiological ED and partnered ED and offer approaches to solve this problem in this podcast spurred by a question from a listener. If you want Laurie and Tony to address a question you are concerned about, email info@foreplayrst.com.

Mar 07, 2016
7: She couldn't care less
24:41

Her low libido: sources & cures. What to do when she is happy without sex.

Feb 29, 2016
6: Boobs, Butts, and Bulges
24:53

The erogenous zones and beyond. Talking about how to get your lover hot!

Feb 22, 2016
5: Saying No Without Wounding
27:00

Having your desire synced with your partner's may sound ideal, but rare in practice. Find out how to get back in the game when you are not in the mood.

Feb 17, 2016
4: Parents Still Lovers
25:15

Raising young children can dampen sexual desire and frequency.  Find out how to keep it hot when you have tots.

Feb 15, 2016
3: Go Oral or Go Home
25:29

Men describe the frustration of disappearing oral sex in a committed relationship. Find out how to restore this essential part of foreplay.

Feb 11, 2016
2: Valentine's Day Sexpectations
21:50

Is Valentine's Day a holiday just for her? Or does this big day have mutual obligations?

Feb 11, 2016
1: Her Big O
24:54

A woman's orgasm is essential to her sexual desire. Find out how to get her there.

Feb 11, 2016