Beat Your Genes Podcast

By BeatYourGenes

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Description

Let's look at life through the lens of our ancestors. Our instincts were shaped by their struggles in an environment much different than our current environment. Our instincts haven't changed much but our environment has changed dramatically. We blend the science of evolutionary psychology with the clinical experience of Doug Lisle, PhD to explore common problems and stumbling points in our pursuit of happiness. We are live on Wednesdays at 8:30-9:30pm PST. If you have a question or comment, or maybe even a complicated situation that you'd like some advice on, feel free to call us live at 657-383-0751 or email us at BeatYourGenes@gmail.com . Check out our website for the recommended reading list and more: www.beatyourgenes.org

Episode Date
215: Coronavirus with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk
00:49:00
In today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk wanted to make a video podcast so the audio has been uploaded here but you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/x40WWoUpeds
Apr 02, 2020
214: Coronavirus 2020 Part 2
01:04:00
In today's show, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk continue the coronavirus pandemic discussion.    Dr. Lisle is a former professor of statistics at Stanford University and he has analyzed the data on the coronavirus data coming out of the worldometers.info website.   He shares his insight and interpretation with us.   Dr. Howk's recent articles, "When Bad News is Good News" and 'Of Pandemics and Personaity" are also the topic of discussion in this show.    
Mar 26, 2020
213: Coronavirus 2020
00:54:00
In today's show, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss the coronavirus pandemic and what to consider when hearing news of this outbreak. 
Mar 19, 2020
212: Being a therapist, Overcoming fears & anxieties
00:45:00
In today's show, the Dr's discuss the following questions: 1. Would you still recommend psychology as a career? I am interested in becoming a therapist, and your podcast has turned what I thought I knew on it's head and has completely changed the way I would want to go about my theoretical orientation. But now that it's so different, I feel like I am doubting everything.  Could you talk a little about what it's like to be in the position of the therapist? I am looking for information to direct my behavioral output. 2. How do I overcome fear? I have a friend who is brave and courageous! I would so like to accomplish those qualities, but whether it comes to sky diving, public speaking, or taking other risks im super scared and it takes so much for me to make the leap? How can I make the leap easier and become more courageous when I know that's what I really want? any tricks/shortcuts/technique or game changing information regarding this? 3. I am a female in my 50s now, and all of my life when someone is mad or upset with me, for any reason and no matter who has the 'right' to be upset, I cannot live with it. I perseverate on it and I cannot shake things until things are resolved and even after sometimes I do not find a release. I am surprised that at this point in my life I cannot shake this. For example, at work I made a mistake and I am working to fix the error, but I am ashamed and even though I am moving forward with efforts to fix the problem and grow from it, I cannot rest for weeks. What is this heavy and stressful feeling trying to tell me?
Mar 12, 2020
211: Neuroticism and IQ, Creating habits, Saving a post-affair marriage
01:00:00
On today's show, the Dr's answer these questions: 1. How does neuroticism interact with IQ? We've all been in situations where a reasonable point of view is met by a barrage of irritable insults. Are people whose emotions play such a major role able to reason in an abstract and measured way, or does high neuroticism knock off the equivalent of 10 or 20 IQ points? Has this ever been studied? 2. What are the uses and limits of trying to create habits? For example, I often try to establish patterns of doing the dishes before bed, going to bed early, showering early during the day, cleaning regularly and the like, but it inevitably falls apart like someone coming off a diet. In what areas are/situations is it worth bothering, and how do I keep of track? How do I alter the CB amd make my conscious priorities into my nervous system's priorities too? 3. My husband had an affair last year, but we are slowly working through things ourselves and taking steps to save our marriage for our children. 1. How can I get over the feelings of inadequacy I have in my marriage post-affair? It's been almost a year since I found out and I still bring it up in arguments. At times I use it as my trump card and win our arguments as he feels bad every time I bring it up. Yet I can't bring myself to stop doing it. 2. How can I let go of the jealousy and resentment towards his affair partner? They are still in contact and remain friends. I find myself checking her social media accounts and obsessing over her, and I want to stop.
Mar 05, 2020
210: Well-meaning organization getting off-course, Personality cancer
00:46:00
In today's show, Dr. Howk discusses the following questions: 1. I belong to a professional organization that has been working to root out genuine problems with racism, albeit in fits and starts. But lately it feels as though the tone has devolved from one of problem-solving to grievance-seeking and grievance-magnification. The communications have been hijacked by highly disagreeable and/or highly neurotic individuals, plus those who are gaining status as lead torchbearer. A few have said they'd rather destroy the organization than be part of one which hasn't achieved their goals for diversity, even if said organization was doing good advocacy work for others. Is there any coming back from this? All pleas for mutual respect and professionalism are decried as tone-policing and their originators as enablers and bigots. Anything I can do besides keep my tongue tucked and eyes on my own work? Thank you for your thoughts! I'm grateful to this podcast for giving some psychological distance from the ongoing shit show. 2. Dr. Lisle has mentioned the concept of “internal ugliness” a couple of times in previous shows. How does one go about identifying their own internal ugliness, and then mitigating or correcting it?
Feb 27, 2020
209: Susceptibility to addiction, Dealing w family bullies,Attraction C/B
00:42:00
In today's show, Dr. Lisle answers the following questions: 1. Are some people more susceptible to addiction than others? If so, why are some people more susceptible to addiction than others? 2. In my husbands family, several members are bullies. Even my husband will join the bully pack if there is any indication they might turn on him. I am highly agreeable and conscience and find I am often the target of their bullying. What is the best 'tactic' to use with adult bullies in families? 3. What attracts people to others from different ethnic backgrounds to themselves? I wish was drawn to women with dark features as there are so many more of these women in the world. 4. People get physically less attractive as they age. They also become less fertile to the point of being infertile. What happens when looks and the prospect of sex are no longer appealing due to age related decline? How does evolutionary psychology explain attraction at this point in life and beyond?
Feb 20, 2020
208: Arrogant/cocky people, Epidemic of anxiety, Evo psych of suicide
00:54:00
On today's show, Dr. Lisle goes over these questions: 1.I have a brother-in-law who is mildly successful, makes decent money. he thinks he’s the most intelligent and successful person. He constantly finds ways to brag about how well off he is and how he is just better than everyone. How does one deal with a person like this? 2. I would like to understand this epidemic of anxiety that is happening these days. What is happening? I have 5 adult children and they are all thriving, successful, socially contributing adults ranging from 20 - 37. 4 of our children and 1 daughter in law are all suffering from high levels of anxiety. 2 of them are taking medication for it. I have taught meditation for several years now and I see it in the classrooms with children even as young as kindegarten. They suffer with being able to fall asleep and have trouble 'letting go' and just relaxing. Their anxieties are different among them. The girls seem to get anxious about general life situations and the boys are more anxious about every ache and pain in their bodies being some sign of a horrible disease. I'm so confused as to what's going on in this world that so many people have anxiety and how as a parent can I help them.  3. If mild depression is an uncomfortable feeling that prompts us to evaluate our behavior, in some cases, which would be a positive move to make if we need to make adjustments, how would a more serious form - including suicide - be evolutionarily beneficial? Is this a helpful response gone awry due to more than tolerable social conditions? Do you think we have more depression today than in previous decades, centuries, or civilizations?    
Feb 13, 2020
207: Calibrating to the market, Showing off genes in the cold, Finding a mate
00:50:00
In today's episode, we go over these questions: 1. I understand from evolutionary psychology that certain market distortions, like a large number of females in college, or a small number of males in elderly age affect the quality of partners we're willing to date. What I am not sure about is how this calibration changes subjective experience. Do people only change their behavior to attain a partner, or do they also feel more attracted to people of perhaps lesser gene quality? 2. When I was in my twenties, I used to go to bars and wait in line to get in during the winter. In Montreal, winters can be very cold but one would always see girls waiting in the cold with no proper clothing. These happened to be the sexiest girls. My buddy would be impressed with them, saying that they seemed to have a supernatural ability to beat the cold. My question is: do you think that exhibiting the capacity to sustain a noxious stimulus can be used as a gene quality signal? Do you think that smoking can also viewed in this way? It is obviously a pleasure trap, but smokers may want to send the signal: "Look how high quality my genes are, if I can get away with smoking with impunity" 3. I am an introverted married woman in my mid forties. I have a friend who is single and in her early 60s. She frequently asks me and a small covey of women (who all happen to have mates) to go out dancing, to dinner, etc. via group texts. As I refuse to go to nightclubs, I occasionally join them for dinners (maybe twice a year) but refuse to go to nightclubs. My question is, Does a woman increase her chances of finding a mate if she surrounds herself with other women? Is she attempting to create a lure of sorts? I don’t want to continue to be uncooperative about assembling with the group if this is something that could potentially increase her chances at finding someone. 
Feb 06, 2020
206: Depression, Why does mad girlfriend ignore, 25 year relationship no sex
00:57:00
In today's show, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk go over the following questions: 1. Depression often gets talked about as being a biological condition and that just like having a broken arm, treating depression with medication is similar to treating a broken bone with a splint. What is the opinion of Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk about treating depression with medication vs. taking an evolutionary approach to helping individuals improve the esteem dynamics in their life? The combination of medication and therapy is often viewed as the best treatment, but I don’t think most therapies take the approach that Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk do. 2. I'm a male and I've noticed that in numerous relationships, if my girlfriend was mad, then she would just flat out ignore me. I don't understand this behavior as anger would usually lead me to talk through issues and try to resolve them, whereas they might just ignore my calls and messages for days at a time. This caused me tremendous stress ro the point of getting no sleep and significantly impaired life functioning. How do I deal with this situation? And is this a male/female difference in conflict resolution, or an esteem dynamic where I'm over rewarded? 3. Ive been living with my boyfriend for over 15 yrs. Been with him total of 25 yrs. Im a young 60, he is 57. Ready to fall off ur chair? We have never had intercourse. First 10 yrs we done sone other intimate things, but no more. He never pursues or initiates anything with me. I used to try, but tired of being rejected.;( I want to leave the relationship. But do not. I definitely need help, can u give me some insight & guidance.
Jan 30, 2020
205: Moderation vs. fanaticism in life pursuits, Social media as pleasure trap
01:03:00
In today's episode Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk answer the following questions: 1. My brother never does anything in moderation, for example if he starts working out, he'll organize his life around it, stop all social drinking and the like. Then he will eventually feel empty and complain he's burnt out. My question is, is he destined to live in this open-unstable roller-coaster ride, or can I give him some advice (perhaps Harry Browne style) that will help him find his place? 2. I've heard Dr. Howk talk about social media as a potential pleasure trap, and I was wondering if she could go into more depth on that. What are the circuits being hijacked? What advice would you give to a low-key social media addict?
Jan 23, 2020
204: Do emotions trigger relapses? How to prevent/minimize addictive relapse?
00:54:00
In this episode, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk briefly discuss a recent article titled, "Harvard researchers help explain link between emotion and addictive substance use".  https://www.hks.harvard.edu/faculty-research/policy-topics/health/report-sadness-triggers-addictive-behavior They discuss addiction, relapsing, channel factors, Dr. Howk shares a personal story, and we answer the following listener question: Most of the people I know use chemicals to manage their lives as least in some aspects: coffee to wake up, alcohol for social lubrication, SSRIs when feeling down, and beta blockers for anxiety, even Adderall or cocaine for productivity and charisma and so on. Even knowing what I know, it's hard to resist the feeling that I'm leaving some competitive advantage on the table by not partaking. I assume you would discourage the use of most if not all of these substances. It it because you think they are all net negative in the long run, or do you find the whole concept puts the cart before the horse by trying to mold emotions to fit the environment instead of working on the environment? Are there any exceptions?
Jan 16, 2020
203: New Year's resolutions, Pleasure Trap, Health questions
00:58:00
In today's show, we'll get the Dr's take on a recent study "Surviving and Thriving: Fundamental Social Motives Provide Purpose in Life" published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin." https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0146167219883604 We'll also go over these questions: 1. Where do New Year's resolutions come from?  Why start something Jan 1 vs. any other random day? 2.  Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss the most common New Year's resolution:  weight loss 3. What do the Dr's think about the work of Dr. John Sarno in curing chronic back pain using education of how the mind works as treatment? According to Dr. Sarno childhood abuse can lead to rage in the unconscious mind and brain triggers TMS or chronic pain to repress this internal rage and there have been hundreds of people who have cured their back ache after reading his book, Healing Back Pain
Jan 09, 2020
202: Leaving an unhappy marriage, Flirting, Toxic parents, Needy friends
00:51:00
Today's questions are:   1. I’ve been married to a 90% disagreeable man for 42 years. Many times I’ve packed my bags but never followed through. I dream of being on my own, doing the little things in life without being questioned. As he has gotten older his drinking has become a problem. Every year finds me more depressed. How to know when to go? 2.why do men flirt? I am falling for a guy who is a huge flirt. I see him flirting with me and with other women, and he has a long distance, long term girlfriend who he is faithful to. Why does he flirt so much? Why am I falling for him even though I know he doesn't mean anything serious by flirting? 3. How do you deal with toxic and controlling parents who like to believe that they are doing RIGHT by continuing to control your life well into your adulthood ? Is it normal to feel that you have a hate relationship with your mother because of lack of support and love to you? As a daughter it feels awful to feel it this way but I can’t get over the fact that having a distant and uncaring mother has driven me into agreeing to marry a person who is totally different to me in personality. Even to this date my mother still emotionally blackmails me to not get a divorce by using her health as a reason. You can divorce your spouse but how can you ever divorce your mother and get over it without feeling the guilt? 4. A friend of mine is having some troubles getting in touch with his friends regularly. He always thinks, if I (or anyone else) doesn't contact him first, I don't like him anymore. It seems to me like he is suffering from some kind of inferiority complex in that sense. How do you explain such a behavior in an evolutionary sense or to broaden my question, why do people suffer from inferiority complexes and how can they try to overcome such feelings?
Jan 02, 2020
201: Accessing the subconscious, Depression from illness, Brain maturity
00:42:00
Today's questions: 1. Is it true that there are parts of the mind that we don't have access to, like a "subconscious?" Put another way, is there any information in our mind that we cannot reach down and consider with our conscious thinking? Some neuroscientists talk about thoughts as if they are served up to our awareness. But it seems like we can "direct" our thoughts. But can we "access" all the information and ideas that are in the darker corners of our brain's file cabinets? 2. You mentioned in episode 2 that people can also get depressed about their personal survival, like in the case of discovering they have cancer, but you didn't elaborate on what purpose that might serve evolutionarily. People in the Stone age wouldn't have known they had terminal cancer, but they might have a good sense that a disease or wound was almost certainly going to fester and kill them... What are the genes telling this person to do and why?  As a follow up, once a person can accept their impending death with certainty, should the depressive feelings decrease or end? Do people who embrace their mortality find relief and the ability to enjoy their remaining time relatively stress-free? 3. Why do human brains take so long to mature to competence? Yes we are born relatively early to accommodate the size of the head, but it's not a matter of a few more months. No other animal is so helpless for so many years. Are human brains slow to mature because they are so adaptable, so they hold off on forming synapses right away? Or is it because they simply have so many neurons to wire up in more complex ways compared to other animals, it truly takes that long? If the former, what is it about human intelligence that is so much slower to wire up if it's all hard-coded by the DNA anyway, and what advantage is there in postponing the ability to walk etc for so long?
Dec 26, 2019
200: Episode 200
01:03:00
We celebrate this milestone episode with some fun questions for Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk. 
Dec 19, 2019
199: Attraction tiers, Bluffing conscientiousness, Jimmy the guitar player
00:52:00
Today's show we go over these questions: 1. If two people typically rate as 10/10 yet one is deemed more attractive on average, would that mean they're objectively better looking while being in the same tier? 2. Could someone who is genetically lower in conscientiousness maintain performance that would resemble a higher level in the trait? 3. Jimmy the guitar player calls in to the show
Dec 12, 2019
198: Earning attraction, IQ discrepancy,Market-limiting cues in dating profiles
00:55:00
In today's show, we go over the following questions: 1. I think that you are absolutely right when you say that happiness comes from esteem, earned in the right way from the people that matter. It's really beautiful to me how that works. But on the other hand, I occasionally meet women who impress me a great deal, strictly based on their DNA- i.e., above-average looks, brains, and personality. Or, as you might expect, even just well above average looks. So my question is, how can attraction be such a profound emotional experience when so much of it is purely on the basis of DNA, and nothing that has been done to earn it? And in fact people are more impressed with someone when it appears that they are not trying? Is how we feel about ourselves based on what we earn, but how we feel about others mostly just a matter of their DNA? 2. How does IQ affect relationships? Specifically, a male having a greater IQ than his female partner, at what point would this cause problems in the relationship and how? 3. I am a recently single 30 year old male, and I’ve been hitting the online dating apps once again. With my more finely tuned evolutionary lense thanks to your podcast, I’ve noticed something interestin.  It seems as though most of us, while we want to put our best foot forward in order to increase our chance of success, we still can’t help but leak potentially market-limiting queues. Is it simply that we are programmed to be honest so that we don’t end up wasting our time with people who wouldn’t find these market-limiting interests appealing? Is this a simple energy conservation cost-benefit analysis?
Dec 05, 2019
197: Myelin sheath/child development,Are private ppl missing out,Measuring genes
00:41:00
Today's questions: 1. Does the myelin sheath development also apply to more purely mental abilities like reading and comprehension, or the ability to imagine and come up with inventive solutions to a problem?  For example, how much can learning and practice be helpful in growing infants and children? Will a baby that is spoken to for 5 hours a day learn to speak significantly faster than one exposed to only an hour of language a day? Or are parents kidding themselves when they spend so much effort to give their child an edge in cognitive development? 2. I'm a private person: I cringe when people air their dirty laundry or have what to me are very private conversations in the facebook comment section. I don't signal affiliation or loyalty the way most people do, and tend to minimize advertising even when it would be seemingly beneficial: I recall declining someone wanting to write an article about me back in high school because "it's nobody's business". I realize I'll always be like this, but the way you and Geoffrey Miller talk about advertising opened it a new perspective. Do you think I'm missing out, and if so, how could I improve where it matters? 3. How do scientists go about measuring genes? How do they identify and associate them with human behavior? Is this something they can see with Petri dishes and a microscope? What would a behavioral scientists day look like?
Nov 28, 2019
196: Attraction patterns, 'Control freak', 'Emotional blackmail'
00:51:00
In today's show, the Drs answer the following listener questions: 1.I was married to a man for 3 years who was a recovering drug and alcohol addict.  In any case, we have recently divorced. There is another man who I have known for about 20 years. We have recently reconnected and are exploring the beginnings of a relationship.I am noticing a heavy drinking behavior in the man in the new relationship. Its hard to tell because right now we are long distance and only see each other on weekends. So am I attracted to addicts?  2. I often hear the term "control" thrown around in pop psychology and fiction. It often turns up in dialogue like one person asking why the other did something stupid or self-destructive and the answer being "I just really needed to feel in control, just for a minute". Or there is the notion that people will calm down when given (the illusion of) control.  3. I'm male, early twenties, been on a whole plant food diet for about 1,5 years. Arguments I can handle (I'm pretty disagreeable), but my family has been emotionally blackmailing me, having what amount to interventions with my mother crying, them saying I'm wasting away and will one day find myself in an ambulance. I'm 5'9 about 132 pounds. I lost about 20 pounds early on and have not lost any more for over a year. I have always had low muscle mass, even when working out -I've come to think I'm just naturally low on that bell curve. But for a year I've finally been able to do proper push-ups, pulls-ups and the like and generally feel fine. I feel distanced from my family and have come to dread spending time with them. What can I do?
Nov 21, 2019
195: Pleasure Trap, Making yourself proud, Social cost of eating healthy
00:54:00
On today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk will answer the following questions: 1. Imagine a 20-year-old male.  Every day, he plays video games, eats Twinkies, drinks Mountain Dew, binge watches Netflix, mindlessly scrolls through Social Media, and watches .  What are the long-term and short-term effects of all this supernormal stimuli? 2.I feel like I’m stuck in a diet mindset where my internal audience won’t recognize any of my efforts unless I’m 100% compliant all of the time.   Considering all the crap other people eat, I feel like I should be able to have one meal a week that’s not 100% wfpb and still be fine and not feel all this guilt? 3. I understand your view on how to handle questions about "why do eat that way" etc however i am wondering about what to say when people say things like "Oh i really need to do something about my weight so i have just started eating low carb high fat". Or " i have diabetes so i can't eat pasta or potatoes." Lately my respone has been to smile and say nothing however i am left feeling frustrated that there is so much that i could contribute to the conversation but i just hold back. What is the best approach when people say or do things that either simple wrong or not the best solution, particularily when you care about the person and want to be helpful?  4. I am impressed with the data behind a whole foods plant based diet but felt this wasn't something I could stick with long term. I've read in the pleasure trap strategies for telling others to buzz off, but still didn't like the social implications of being a young male vegan. Long term concerns for being on this diet? Would you recommend it for anyone?
Nov 14, 2019
194: Evo psych of punishment & revenge, Fairness in male/female dynamics & more
00:59:00
In today's show we discuss the Evolutionary psychology of individual, group, and self punishment and revenge. How does this factor in to Hamilton's rule?  Listener questions: 1. Why do people seek revenge and compensation pain from a person who has angered them even if they lose as well? Why do people take an approach of 'I will hurt you back even if it means I get hurt as well' when they are in rage? 2. Are there evolutionary reasons for sending signals to the others by physically harming oneself? 3. Kind of a weird question but why is it so hard to convey to guys/male partners that they should simply put down the toilet seat after they are done peeing?  I find this conversation extremely unnecessary and childish however it seems to me that there is something deeper behind (evolutionary) otherwise it doesn’t make sense to me to make such a big fuss about it. I know it sounds dumb but thanks for answering! 4.  What is it about human social psychology that make Stone age tribes or "villages" tend to Max out around 50 or 150 people or so? Was it that nothing could invite more people than that under any common purpose?. 
Nov 07, 2019
193: On-Air session: Dealing with a Micromanaging Boss (replay)
00:38:00
In this episode, we have an on-air session with a listener whose new boss micromanages everything he does. 
Oct 31, 2019
192: Group therapy, Plomian curse, Enlightenment trap, Being less critical
00:45:00
In today's show we have the following questions: 1. What are Dr. Lisle's thoughts on group therapy? What is the purpose if there is one and how would he apply evolutionary principles and esteem dynamics to group therapy? 2. My MIL treats her 4 granddaughters quite differently.  I am a disagreeable person who really values fairness. It’s hard not to comment or approach her when she treats them so different. Let’s not even begin to get into how many more clothes and toys (resources overall) she gets for her daughter’s girls. Is there a way for her to look at my daughter differently and allocate resources fairly? 3. Recently you described the Enlightenment Trap, which interested me greatly and I wondered if you believed there was some degree to which meditation practice was a means of beating the genetic disposition for egoistic drives for status enhancement. Robert Wright certainly seems to think so. I recognise that there are apparently many examples of pseudo- meditators displaying their practice conspicuously as a status / virtue-signalling attempt, but do you believe there are some devotees who genuinely manage to reduce egoistic drives? 4. I am a professional woman in my middle years and want to be less critical of people and other things. 5. 
Oct 24, 2019
191:Impostor Syndrome, Parenting a mischievous son, Boyfriend went to stripclub
00:57:00
We go over the following questions: 1.  What is impostor syndrome? Can you change the perception of feeling like a fraud?  2. A dad's son climbs on a roof to look at his neighbor's nude sunbathing. Dad handles it, but mom is furious and thinks this is huge issue warranting psychiatric medications.   3.  A listener's boyfriend ended up at a stripclub with coworkers.  He denies he got a lapdance even though everyone else got one.  Listener wants to know if she is the one insecure and if a more confident woman wouldn't mind this happening.  And also if this is 'normal behavior' for men and so she should expect it from any future partners.  4. Does having more wealth increase the trait of openness? 5. What does the future hold for humans capable or not capable of thriving in the modern environment in the face of so many traps? 
Oct 17, 2019
190: Minimizing distortions, Worth it to disagree?
01:02:00
The questions for tonight's show are as follows: 1. I was wondering how Dr Lisle reconciled two seemingly opposing thoughts I've heard on separate episodes. 1. CBT is an effective therapy to mitigate cognitive distortions and 2. The human brain/nervous system does an immaculate job of evaluating its effectiveness and status within a group. If our brains do such an amazing job of evaluating feedback from the group, why are cognitive distortions so common? 2.I've often felt anger when someone seems to misunderstand something, perhaps honestly and perhaps disingenuously in something that is approaching an argument. The feeling often keeps me from explaining exactly what I mean because I expect that the exact points of the disagreement are disingenuous so it won't matter and I will only regret justifying myself and "opening up". You've often mentioned that that communication in relationships isn't faulty the way most psychologist say, but you've also talked about getting crystal clear. So should I beat my genes and get crystal clear, or is the inference that it won't change a thing correct?    
Oct 10, 2019
189: Introducing Dr. Jen Howk
00:58:00
We welcome to the podcast our newest guest, Dr. Jen Howk. We'll find out about who she is, how she got interested in Evolutionary Psychology, the work she has done, and her thoughts on a few select topics. 
Oct 03, 2019
188: Couchsurfing as a woman, Resilience vs coddling, Jealousy after a break-up
00:58:00
In today's episode, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk, discuss the following questions: 1. My niece and I have been debating whether it’s safe for attractive young solo female travelers to couch surf. She believes that a careful reading of a host’s couch surfing profile enables her to spot would-be predators. What are your thoughts on this Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk? 2. Can you talk about what resilience is with regard to personality/the big 5?  Do you think that it is possible to help people develop resilience or grit?  3. I dated a guy for about 5 years who would never commit and cheated on me several times, though I did not learn of his indiscretions until after the relationship ended. I recently found out that he married one of the women who he cheated on me with after dating her for only a brief time. After our split was all said and done I definitely felt like I came out it with the better end of the deal, and I’m now in a relationship that has major *magic 10%* potential; so my question is: why am I so irritated about my loser ex’s quickie marriage? 4. I contracted Herpes from a long term boyfriend who was cheating on me about 10 years ago. I find it so difficult to share this information with a new person. I am 50 years old and reasonably attractive but haven’t been dating from shame regarding this condition. You’re straight talk suggestions are so helpful on this podcast, I’m wondering if you can advise me on how to best frame this situation for myself, my status, and potential mates.   
Sep 26, 2019
187: Stuck in a stagnant rut, Mirror emotions, More detail on agreeableness
00:58:00
Questions for tonight's show are: 1. Why am I so stagnant? Despite doing poorly in practically all the dimensions of my life (romantic, social, pursuit) I don't take any effective action. I've done an immense amount of therapies from various modalities, worked with many therapists, including numerous other things to no avail. I stew and rage but don't do anything and I don't know why. I also like to feel like a victim so as to not feel the pressure of responsibility. 2. Your explanation of anger and guilt being mirror emotions really struck me.  Do you think there is always a mirror emotion like anger and guilt? Or is it rather mostly a spectrum like your explanation of depression and boredom, when related to stress? I would be curious to hear about more on categorizing emotions. 3.  I am a bit confused about when disagreeableness is seen as a negative and positive trait. You said agreeableness is a highly valued trait, and while it is clear that one would want a disagreeable lawyer, you also said that charisma basically comes down to disagreeableness, and when most people think of charismatic people, they certainly don't think of pushiness and anger. I am probably ~75th percentile disagreeable (but pretty stable) and generally try to beat my genes by hiding it, but, not contradicting people, avoiding confrontation, for example with groups of friends. Am I right to do so, or could I win more friends/esteem by being more "assertive"? 4. I'm trying to work on it, but I feel I have an issue with agreeableness. I'm too agreeable, to the point that I feel bad about myself for disappointing others, like turning down a job offer or rejecting a potential partner when it's obvious that those situations won't work out. How do I get past this, "trying to please all of the people all of the time" mentality?
Sep 19, 2019
186: Male/Female dynamics Part 2 with Drs. Doug Lisle and Jen Howk
00:52:00
We welcome back Dr. Jen Howk for her part 2 debut on the BYG podcast.  Dr. Lisle and Howk answer the following questions from listeners: 1. I would describe myself as a 9. I am pretty and fit. I am educated and have a great job. Since I have graduated college I have had an extremely difficult time with dating.  2. If I slept with someone that I like too soon and they are showing less interest in me is there a way to get their interest back? I remember one episode you mentioned looking your best was a way to do this which I am working on losing some weight. Are there any pyschological mind tactics I can practice in the mean time? If someone is actively ignoring you is it best to do the same? 3.  I have a question regarding the full moon on the female psyche The Mother of my two children becomes more abusive and more unstable during a full moon. Generally she is a pretty tricky person to deal with and tripping over some petty little trap opens a gate for verbal and sometimes physical abuse.  She often blames the full moon or PMS for these episodes but she is rarely a picnic in the park in between.  My question is whether there is any validity in the claim that the full moon has on anyone's psychology or is it just an excuse for bad behaviour and just some new age hippy nonsense for people who are high in openness. 4. What advice would you give to a female who is being stalked? 5. Is it reasonable to suggest that modern third-wave feminism is now about confusing males about the dominance hierarchy and their own sexual selection criteria, so as to turn them into being beta males?  To find out more about Dr. Howk or to book a phone consult, visit www.JenHowk.com
Sep 12, 2019
185: Is effective health care possible? Sharing health info w sick friends
00:45:00
Our questions for this show are: 1. Given the profitability of prescribing pills and surgical procedures, do you believe the mainstream medical-industrial-complex will ever reach a tipping point and head in the direction of true health care? As opposed to the current system of what basically boils down to disease maintenance? 2. In church this week I felt very guilty. No one is specifically asking me for nutrition advice but every week we hear about and pray for members of our congregation that have everything from kidney stones to cancer and everything in between. All of these conditions would be helped by a whole food plant based diet. I don't feel comfortable saying much about my diet at church but I feel very guilty about not speaking up if information that I have could help someone who is suffering.   Do you have any recommendations? 3.  I am a Clinical Psychology Doctoral candidate, and I will have my first patients this Fall. I am nervous, excited, but mostly curious. What concepts and theories from EP have you found most useful in your clinical work? And what are the one or two things from EP that I can focus on to help better serve my patients?  4. Given that many core characteristics of personality are genetically determined, and that the evolutionary process of blind variation is bound to produce extremes, aren't there always bound to be some individuals in society who are likely to experience impulses to commit violent acts - with particularly horrific consequencies when gun laws allow comparatively easy access to lethal weapons?In the 'bottling up' episode you say that some people are bound to be 'shitheads' - so aren't there also always bound to be 'psychopaths' and no amount of moral education, religious observation or societal conservatism could ever eradicate the problem of mass killings?
Sep 05, 2019
184: Male/Female Dynamics with Dr. Lisle & Dr. Jen Howk
00:49:00
In this episode, we introduce Dr. Jen Howk, who recently earned her PhD from Harvard. She brings a female perspective to our male/female dynamics questions and offers her insights to our show.  
Aug 29, 2019
183: Do rewards improve motivation? Can parents 'toughen' up their kids?
00:58:00
"I'll do it, but not because you told me to"  is a common humorous refrain in movies & TV shows.  In this show, we explore where this emotion comes from.   First, by reviewing a famous study that found that kids spend less time drawing if you tell them that they’ll get a good student award for drawing a good picture, compared to if you just let them draw without telling them anything.  Then, Dr. Lisle answers the following questions: 1.  With regard to the ego and pleasure traps, if you want to instill a sense of motivation, do you set goals and fundamentals that solicit a stress response as opposed to soliciting an anxious or depressive response? How do you decide on a goal or the fundamentals that can begin the process of getting you out of the ego/pleasure trap? Is it a matter of deciding what is 10% better than what you are currently doing? 2.  Can parents toughen up their children, including infants, so that they don't cry as much, by pampering them less? In other words, is there evidence that you can make infants cry less or make young children less sensitive or whiny be letting them have to deal with a little discomfort rather than helping them out all the time? 3. When you talk about narcissists you usually discuss those who come across as highly disagreeable. But it seems some can be very charming.  Can you explain the charming narcissist and how to spot one? 4. Why does my anxiety and feelings of regret tend to peak at night but dissipate throughout the day?
Aug 22, 2019
182: Enlightenment/Ego Trap, Trading w a Toddler, Keeping kids innocent? & more
00:46:00
We start this episode with a question about the Enlightenment & Ego Trap - left over from last episode. The rest of the questions are about interacting with children/kids.   1.  I have a number of friends who come from difficult backgrounds – a family history of mental illness and/or abuse, poor decision-making, relative poverty and very little work experience. I’ve found that they’re generally unwilling to consider most basic employment options to alleviate their financial difficulties, figuring they are “better than” most realistic jobs and even enduring a great deal of debt to get dubious education credentials which – most anyone with a critical eye can see – are not going to simply leapfrog them into a high-paying job, especially given the lack of work history. Can the “ego trap” exist for those who don’t have much outside esteem coming in? Is it a form of deferral of failure? 2. I have a 2 yr old and another baby on the way. Being a dad is teaching me that I have to constantly fight my disagreeableness, because I am having to give more of myself to my kid and can't sustain trying to trade at 75/25 with him. My brain keeps telling me I am getting a bad deal with my kid, but I know I signed up for this and need your help beating my genes. What tactics or advice do you have for someone to at lease fake trading at less than 75/25 with a toddler?  3. Why kinds of adult things should generally be kept from kids, say 8-12 year olds? Is there any harm in letting them have unfiltered access to the internet, as long as we make sure they aren't getting into drugs or risk of pregnancy? In other words, to what age should they be kept fairly innocent, if at all, and why? 4.  This listener's question is about her mother, a school teacher, who lost her cool with an unruly child and had some significant resulting guilt.
Aug 15, 2019
181: Showing weakness, Dominance Hierarchy, Sharing Evopsych, Ego Trap?
00:46:00
In this show, we discuss showing weakness as a sexual strategy, then we move to a question about dominance hierarchies vs. competence hierarchy (is there a difference?).  Next question is about the mixed perceptions of evolutionary psychology.   Finally, Dr. Lisle then takes some time to discuss elements of the ego trap.   The questions are as follows: 1.  Do you think there are situations where a man showing weakness to a woman can be positive? Can women get away with it easily, or weakness also a signal of sexual interest when it comes to them? 2.Some people seem to be so driven to compete and rise to the top, however their internal audience is constantly asking them, “are you sure you’re not being too dominant? Is this step up worth it?”, either directly or indirectly in the form of general stress. Emotional stability seems to be a huge component in how this plays out on an individual basis.  I’d be curious if you think this competence/dominance inner battle is part of what plays into the pleasure trap. 3.I want to spread the truth of evolutionary psychology but I also don't want to hurt my mating chances by getting labeled a reject. Should I keep my evolutionary thoughts a secret and only explain it in easy to digest chic talk or should I spread these ideas with testicular fortitude? 4.I am wondering about how the ego trap might apply to people who have not been given reason for high expectations. In a sense, whether there is some interaction between the ego trap and the Dunning-Kruger effect of lower-capacity individuals being less likely to recognize their own limitations.  Can the “ego trap” exist for those who don’t have much outside esteem coming in? Is it a form of deferral of failure?
Aug 08, 2019
180: Subjective experiences, Downsides of overshooting evolutionary advantage
00:48:00
Dr. Lisle goes in depth about why nature has selected for subjective experiences.  The question is as follows: What is your take on why a subjective experience would have been selected for, as opposed to animals simply being like machines with no subjective experience inside?  More importantly, what is your take on how a subjective experience can possibly be created in the mind? How could neurons firing create a personal experience? Next, he tackles this broad few questions: Why were we given the intellectual capacity to overshoot our evolutionary advantage and create inventions that cause our demise?  Why would our minds become so advanced to create a world where we live with and around multiple pleasure traps daily, where even the strictest, most conscientious of us will fall prey to decision fatigue and give in to a few of these traps, thus affecting our happiness? Why do they have the capacity to do this? It seems as though we would have been happier animals as a species with a little less intellect.
Aug 01, 2019
179: Money & Esteem, Casual mating friends, Communication manipulation, LDR's
00:52:00
Questions tonight are as follows: Can you please talk about the relationship between money and self-esteem and how to learn to enjoy the money one makes? If women in one's social circles, acquaintances, friends, etc. seem receptive to casual mating, should we go for it without much worry, or is it bound to lead to future problems with them and the group? Why does it appear that people make so much up? (at least on TV when asked questions) Am I the oddball for feeling that when you've known someone for a long time, that means something? Is it because I'm low in openness and introverted?
Jul 25, 2019
178: Stress of decision-making, Esteem choices
00:46:00
A recent study published in the Journal of Personality & Social Psychology* attempts to tackle understanding the stress of decision making.  Nate G goes over the article and Dr. Lisle offers his take.  Can the stress of decision making be explained solely by the personality trait conscientiousness?   Dr. Lisle and Nate discuss.    The next topic stems from a listener's question:  "Can we choose who we want the most esteem from?  Is there a way I can care less about the esteem from some people? It is sometimes exhausting to try to please everyone."   *PDF of the JPSP article : http://blogs.cuit.columbia.edu/mayarossignacmilon/files/2018/08/Chen.Rossignac-Milon.Higgins.JPSP_.2018.pdf
Jul 18, 2019
177: Does seeking validation hinder happiness? Role of evolutionary mismatch
01:03:00
In this episode, we review a new study in the science of happiness. The first, by Bruce Headey called, Happiness and Longevity: Unhappy People Die Young, Otherwise Happiness Probably Makes No Difference, explains what effect happiness has on our longetivity.  The first listener question is from a young man whose short love life has allowed him to feel the moods of happiness while in a relationship. Since the most recent breakup, he feels as though he has low self-esteem and is curious about whether this low self-esteem is due to his need to seek validation from others.   The next question is about evolutionary mismatch and whether happiness may come from correcting as many evolutionary mismatches as possible.   To finish out the show, we have a live caller asking about how to fine tune his diet & lifestyle and get over the proverbial "hump" after losing some motivation.  
Jul 11, 2019
176: Behavioral Genetics, Hiding w status loss, getting ignored in class
00:51:00
We start the show with a question about whether a higher extroversion individual would act more introverted due to status loss.  Then, we move on to a question about why & what to do when getting ignored or constantly interrupted in an academic setting.   Then we move on to a quesiton about whether we have natural, genetic discipline and ambition.  Dr. Lisle shares his opinion about a recent book, Blueprint by Robert Plomin.
Jul 04, 2019
175:Ben Franklin effect, Burying feelings, Bottling up emotions, Internet trolls
00:52:00
Ben Franklin effect, Burying feelings, Bottling up emotions, Internet trolls
Jun 27, 2019
174: Does casual mating doom pair bond chances? Evo psych & spiritual experience
00:48:00
Does casual mating doom pair bond chances? Evo psych & spiritual experience, sibling rivalry
Jun 20, 2019
173: Being cheap, Loaning money, Alcoholic husband, Influencing others
00:55:00
Being cheap, Loaning money, Alcoholic husband, Influencing others
Jun 13, 2019
172: On-air session: Dating a salesman
00:49:00
On-air session with a lady who has questions about how to spot casual mating
Jun 06, 2019
171: Advice for an indecisive man, Advice for a teacher, Delusional friends
00:47:00
Advice for an indecisive man, Advice for a teacher, Delusional friends
May 30, 2019
170: Is knitting a sexual display? Is sexual inexperience a turn off?
00:49:00
Is knitting a sexual display? Is sexual inexperience a turn off? 
May 23, 2019
169: Finding a dream job, Drama at work, Helping parents find happiness
00:49:00
Finding a dream job, Drama at work, Helping parents find happiness
May 16, 2019
168: Why do we get manipulated? Are emotions contagious?
00:56:00
Why do suckers get suckered into things, Are emotions contagious? 
May 09, 2019
167: Epigenetics, Stress and health, ego-centric bias while dating
01:00:00
Epigenetics, Stress and health,  ego-centric bias while dating
May 02, 2019
166: Where does guilt come from, where do 'body issues' come from, etc...
00:53:00
Where does guilt come from? Why do some people have 'body issues'? What's the difference between empathy & compassion? Specifically, in the context of a sociopath? Is there a link between highly-open people & reduced genetic preference?
Apr 25, 2019
165: Dating down vs. up, Do we embarrass to assess mate value? etc...
00:57:00
Dating down vs. up Do we embarrass to assess mate value? What to do if alcohol becomes the preferred social lubricant? Do pair-bonded agreeable people feel happy together?  
Apr 18, 2019
164: What if kid doesn't want college? Is there anti-10 paid dates culture?
00:59:00
 What if your kid doesn't want to go to college?   Is there an anti-10 paid dates culture? Why are things "manly"? How to tell if a potential employee is agreeable & conscientious? Why does family discourage physical fitness vs. career success? and more!
Apr 11, 2019
163: Expectations vs performance, politics questions, business partner conflict
00:59:00
Expectations vs performance, politics questions, business partner conflict
Apr 04, 2019
162: Explaining the Ego Trap 2 of 2
00:54:00
The second part of a 2-part show explaining the ego trap.  In this episode, we take questions from listeners about their own ego trap.
Mar 28, 2019
161: Explaining the Ego Trap 1 of 2
01:00:00
Explaining the Ego Trap 1 of 2
Mar 21, 2019
160: Special Episode - Broadcasting on Facebook Live
01:02:00
Special Episode - Broadcasting on Facebook Live
Mar 14, 2019
159: Internal audience, public speaking, Hot/cold lovers,Getting over a breakup
00:49:00
Internal audience, public speaking, Hot/cold lovers,Getting over a breakup
Mar 07, 2019
158:Are women harder on themselves, Stuttering, Marriage problems, Is there a limit to esteem
00:52:00
Are women harder on themselves, Stuttering,  Marriage problems, Is there a limit to esteem
Feb 28, 2019
157: Free time, Pseudo esteem
01:00:00
  Free time, Pseudo esteem
Feb 21, 2019
156: Keeping attention in class, When authority is altruistic, autism, war
00:53:00
Keeping attention in class, When authority is altruistic, autism, war
Feb 14, 2019
155: Dilated eyes, Friendships, Romantic excitement, Live caller
00:58:00
 Dilated eyes, Friendships, Romantic excitement, Live caller
Feb 07, 2019
154: Female ambition psychology, Messy roommate, roots of privacy
00:48:00
Female ambition psychology, Messy  roommate,  roots of privacy
Jan 31, 2019
153: Falling out of love, Cultural shifts, Faced w food temptations
00:42:00
 Falling out of love, Cultural shifts, Faced w food temptations
Jan 24, 2019
152: Anger in relationships, Falling in love w a monk, Food cravings
00:50:00
Anger in relationships, Falling in love w a monk, Food cravings
Jan 17, 2019
151: 10 paid dates from a man's perspective, Open-loops from casual flings
00:48:00
10 paid dates from a man's perspective,  Open-loops from casual flings
Jan 10, 2019
150: How to deal with a micro-managing boss - an on-air session (replay)
00:38:00
How to deal with a micro-managing boss - an on-air session
Jan 03, 2019
149: Shy vs bold men, Getting away from a narcissist, Is there a utopia?
00:56:00
Shy vs bold men, Getting away from a narcissist, Is there a utopia?
Dec 27, 2018
148: Forgiving and letting go, Lonely older single women, Shy vs bold men
00:53:00
Forgiving and letting go,  Lonely older single women, Shy vs bold men
Dec 20, 2018
147: Effects of long-term marijuana, Spousal abuse, can severe OCD be beaten?
00:50:00
 Effects of long-term marijuana, Spousal abuse, can severe OCD be beaten?
Dec 13, 2018
146: Binging on broccoli, Do we want what we can't have? Live caller
01:04:00
Binging on broccoli, Do we want what we can't have?  Live caller
Dec 06, 2018
145: Eating healthy while socializing, during the holidays, live caller
01:08:00
Eating healthy while socializing, during the holidays, live caller
Nov 29, 2018
144: Gaining your edge in life (replay)
00:48:00
Gaining your edge in life (replay during the holiday)
Nov 22, 2018
143: Restriction/binges? Healthy mom pushing health on family, 2 callers
00:51:00
Restriction leads to binges? Healthy mom wants her family to eat healthy.  2 callers: Girlfriend has a question about her boyfriend.  Parent asks about child's grades and about genetic determinism. 
Nov 15, 2018
142: Why do boys pick on girls, giving gifts, people you dislike
00:47:00
 Why do boys pick on girls, giving gifts, people you dislike
Nov 08, 2018
141: Facial cues, Guess the personality, non-food potential pleasure traps
00:50:00
Facial cues, Guess the personality,  non-food potential pleasure traps
Nov 01, 2018
140: Anorexia, Paternity testing, Selecting for pair bonds on a dating profile
00:43:00
Anorexia, Paternity testing, Selecting for pair bonds on a dating profile
Oct 25, 2018
139: Radical Honesty, Genes vs Environment, Reconnecting w an old friend
00:57:00
Radical Honesty, Genes vs Environment, Reconnecting w an old friend
Oct 18, 2018
138: Older vs younger generations, applying Evo Psych, genes vs environment
00:55:00
1. Why do many older people complain of younger people "ruining" the world. Is this contempt built into us as we age?  2. Evo Psych makes sense, but how should a therapist apply this knowledge to a client/patient? 3. If I'm born a disagreeable jerk, can I beat my genes in a simliar way that a person with genes for heart disease/cancer can beat their genes? 
Oct 11, 2018
137: The Psychology of Humor (replay)
00:46:00
The Psychology of Humor (replay)
Oct 04, 2018
136: Why we feel unhappy sometimes, The meaning of life, What is intuition?
00:57:00
 Why we feel unhappy sometimes, What is the meaning of life, What is intuition?
Sep 27, 2018
135: Finding the source of depression - an on-air session
01:00:00
In today's episode, Amy calls into the show because she feels depressed. Dr. Lisle talks to her during an on-air session as they try to figure out the source of her mysterious depression and what to do about it.   
Sep 20, 2018
134: Nostalgia, Studying for MCAT, Getting asked health questions
00:48:00
Does bad weather trigger feelings of nostalgia which in turn results in more feelings of optimism and higher self-esteem?   A listener is stuck trying to study for the MCAT but caught in the ego trap.   Dr. Lisle's "seem strategy" works to get others to stop challenging us about our healthy diet but what can we do if we want to show off our knowledge? 
Sep 13, 2018
133: Empathy, Brains vs. Beauty:Trade-off? Male confused on a date
00:59:00
Empathy, Brains vs. Beauty:Trade-off? Male confused on a date
Sep 06, 2018
132: Being productive, Escaping the ego trap
00:47:00
Being productive, Escaping the ego trap
Aug 30, 2018
131: Health questions. What to say when friend asks if she's overweight? Are there cultural shifts
00:48:00
Health questions.  What to say when friend asks if she's overweight? Are there cultural shifts?
Aug 23, 2018
130: Internal audience judgment, anorexia, why do people interrupt each other?
00:56:00
 Internal audience judgment, anorexia, why do people interrupt each other? 
Aug 16, 2018
129: Cheapskates, Hoarders, Energy vampires, Marriage trouble
00:52:00
Cheapskates, Hoarders, Energy vampires,  Marriage trouble
Aug 09, 2018
128: 6 "Romantic" Gestures That Are MAJOR Red Flags
00:55:00
We review some Romantic Gestures that are MAJOR Red Flags in dating.      
Aug 02, 2018
127: Do men judge more than looks, keeping peace in the family, pop psychology
00:51:00
Do men judge more than looks, keeping peace in the family, pop psychology
Jul 26, 2018
126: Delaying sex? Does a woman's self-esteem increase with age?
00:45:00
Today on the podcast a few questions from listeners will include a questions from a man trying to understand why Dr. Lisle recommends that women delay sex a bit.  Another question asks whether women get more confident as they get older despite aging and perhaps feeling less attractive.  And finally, an older listener has a crush on a much younger man in her life, what will Dr. Lisle say?
Jul 19, 2018
125:Committing to goals, displaying confidence, soulmates
00:51:00
Committing to goals, displaying confidence, soulmates, why do guys push sex? 1. I'm 42 overweight would like to be married and would still like to have kids though I'm running out of time. I know exactly what I need to do to lose weight so I can feel better about myself and attract a mate but I just won't commit to doing it. Why? Are these things actually not important to me even though I think they are? 2. Setting New Year's resolutions seems to be a universal phenomenon. Is there an evolutionary basis for this (i.e. periodically reflecting on your recent history and determining what to improve)? 3. I'm quite shy, trip over my tongue in social situations, blush easily, and my eyes often automatically dart away when they meet the eyes of others. All of these feel really self-defeating in the modern world. Do all of these have the same source and can I improve, with practice or otherwise? 4. Is it common for a reasonably smart  independent woman to stay in an unloving marriage of over 30 years ? Is being provided for enough of  a trade off  for lack of mutual respect , fun and great physical relationship too or ARE SOULMATES JUST A FANTASY? THE QUESTION....... If a woman decides to stay in that unloving relationship , what are some ways to stay out of the pleasure trap??   Register for Pleasure Trap Webinar with Dr. Doug Lisle and Dr. Alan Goldhamer https://events.genndi.com/register/169105139238437069/db40db1837
Jul 12, 2018
124: Stress in the modern world vs. stone-age
00:56:00
Stress in the modern world vs. stone-age
Jul 05, 2018
123: Placebo effect, Stockholm syndrome, Listener's son having mental breakdown
00:49:00
Placebo effect, Stockholm syndrome, Listener's son having mental breakdown
Jun 28, 2018
122: Aren't humans omnivores? Stanford Experiment, Placebo effect, Stockholm
00:54:00
Aren't humans omnivores?  The evo psych of human diet.  Stanford Experiment, Placebo effect, Stockholm syndrome. Stanford Prison Experiment: " The Lifespan of a Lie" https://medium.com/s/trustissues/the-lifespan-of-a-lie-d869212b1f62
Jun 21, 2018
121: Dating after appearance change, Disagreeable Doug, Flooding the Circuits, Managing anger
00:50:00
A very unique dating question from a listener who has gotten healthier.  Under what circumstances does Dr. Lisle turn disagreeable? Flooding the Circuits - tips, tricks, technique Managing anger & passion
Jun 14, 2018
120: A novel approach to cravings for junk, Personality differences & dislikes
00:49:00
Dr. Lisle discusses a novel approach to cravings.  Are we prone to dislike certain people with personality traits opposite from ours?  Do we select friends subconsciously based on status like we do with mates?  
Jun 07, 2018
119: How does our personality change? With circumstance? With age?
00:55:00
How does our personality change? With circumstance? With age?
May 31, 2018
118: Hamilton's Rule, Altruism, Kin selection
00:55:00
Hamilton's Rule, Altruism, Kin selection
May 24, 2018
117: Cost/benefit of displays, directing esteem cues, evo psych of economics, internet trolls, and
00:53:00
Q1:  What makes certain people do more for others than they would for themselves? Q2: What's the scoop on altruism? Q3: What's wrong with socialism? Q4: Why do internet trolls say mean/harsh thing online? One caller has a question about her special needs son.  Second caller has a question about identity politics in 2018.     
May 17, 2018
116: Beauty standards for women, Prostitution, and Emotional Intelligence
00:51:00
An instagram model recently stopped shaving her armpits and wearing makeup as a sort of protest against the "societal programming" of beauty standards.  What does Dr. Lisle think about this?  What's the Doug Download on Prostitution?  Is emotional intelligence a thing?  
May 10, 2018
115: Depression, Psychedelics
00:58:00
 Depression, Psychedelics
May 03, 2018
114: Evo Psych in academia, advertising, music
00:57:00
Evo Psych in academia, advertising, music, and leadership
Apr 26, 2018
113: Fear of commitment, Live callers, Evo Psych in academia, advertising, music
00:47:00
Caller questions are about "Fear of commitment, Evo Psych in academia, advertising, and why do we  love music? Live caller asks about video game addiction in young men.   Another live caller asks about his pinball teammates' differing views on children.  
Apr 19, 2018
112: Intervention overconfidence, Caller question, Alcoholism, Evo Psych in academia, advertising,
00:55:00
Questions today: 1) Listener has a friend who is an alcoholic.  What can be done as a friend?  2) Why can some people drink heavily and not become addicted to alcohol? 3) Is it worth being an evolutionary psychologist in academia? 4) How does advertising & media influence people? 5) Why do people love music?
Apr 12, 2018
111: Evolution of language, Emotional first-aid, helping a friend
00:58:00
Evolution of language, Emotional first-aid, helping a friend
Apr 05, 2018
110:Co-dependency, child attachment styles, advice on losing a child
00:50:00
Questions for this show are: 1. Strategies for "healing" from an abusive relationship.  Do spouses that escape a narcissist spouse need therapy and support on codependency? 2. Are children’s attachment styles bogus in predicting their personalities? Also, what’s the earliest age at which you can see a person’s personality characteristics? 3.What advice would you give to a parent who’s lost a child (say 18 years old) under tragic circumstances, such as suicide? Are there any useful techniques or ways of thinking to really help ease the pain of such a profound biological loss?
Mar 29, 2018
109: What can our behavior signal to a romantic partner?
00:34:00
Questions for tonight are as follows: A listener's husband spends money on certain displays but not others - what does it mean? How does a 10-year married couple navigate being swingers when one of them no longer wants to do it?  Why do some men feel guilty or nervous about Valentine's Day? Why do romantic partners act surprised when their spouse/partner leaves despite threatening to do so for a long time? Why does it feel so devastating when a spouse cheats?
Mar 22, 2018
108: Punishing children, advice to psychology students, cynical from evo psych..
00:47:00
Questions today are about: Influencing children - how does punishment work? Advice to psychology students who want to learn evo psych in a school that teaches conventional psychology Phobias like snakes, heights, etc.. are briefly explored Brief question regarding Big Five personality and how/if those traits can change as we age and gain status. Sharing evolutionary psychology knowledge in social settings. Getting cynical from evolutionary psychology - accepting the tragic view of existence.  
Mar 15, 2018
107: Bullying, Job satisfaction, Changing careers
00:59:00
Listener questions today are: 1.  Pediatrician has overweight child patients that get picked on at school.  Asking for advice on what to tell them.  2. Job satisfaction - should people select their job based on their own IQ, conscientiousness, and stability?   3.  Stay-at-home mom has finished raising her kids and now wants to do something that makes her feel productive.  Her family, on the gravy train because of all that she does for them is giving her push back.  She's a little stuck between starting personal projects & disrupting the family balance.  We have two callers:  Alan - who asks about Dr. Lisle's thought process for diagnosing a problem. And the next caller, Rob, asking about how humans react differently to significant events vs. everyday events that are similar.     
Mar 08, 2018
106: Dreams, Meditation, Listener calls in
00:54:00
Dreams, Meditation, Listener calls in about a childhood question
Mar 01, 2018
105: Personality traits of 'alpha' males, advice to women dating 'alpha' males
00:56:00
A news article sprinkles in evolutionary psychology when explaining why people are purchasing certain electronics.  We will review the alpha/beta male dynamics, discuss the typical personality traits of alpha males, and shed some light on what women should consider when dating the 'alpha' male.  We also have a listener who calls in asking for advice about a family conflict.
Feb 22, 2018
104:Helping mom out, Closing an open-loop
01:03:00
Helping mom out, Closing an open-loop
Feb 15, 2018
103: Family conflict turns into 8 years of unresolved rumination
01:02:00
We start the show with an update from a listener who took Dr. Lisle's advice last year.    We had a caller on hold looking to discuss her open-loop - Our caller had a falling out with her family 8 years ago, then her father passed away of cancer, she has now been estranged from them for years and is looking to get clarity on the situation.
Feb 08, 2018
102: Relationships, Time in Womb, Free Will, Evo Psych of Bad Teeth
00:56:00
Relationships, Time in Womb, Free Will, Evo Psych of Bad Teeth
Feb 01, 2018
101: Neoteny, Why do women stay w men who don't love them, Asexuality
00:52:00
Neoteny, Why do women stay w men who don't love them, Asexuality
Jan 25, 2018
100: Special Episode: Getting Personal with Dr. Doug Lisle
01:05:00
Getting Personal with Dr. Doug Lisle
Jan 18, 2018
99: Introvert socializing, happiness triggers, Kid is flunking, Nature fallacy
01:01:00
Socializing as an Introvert, Finding happiness triggers, Kid is flunking, Appeal to nature fallacy
Jan 11, 2018
98: Evolutionary psychology in 2018
00:47:00
Evolutionary psychology in 2018
Jan 04, 2018
97: On-air session - Daughter is having health problems, what do we do?
00:33:00
97: On-air session - Daughter is having health problems, what do we do? 
Dec 28, 2017
96: 10 paid dates-what now? Societal expectations of parents, future of race
00:51:00
10 paid dates-what now?, Parenting with societal expectations,  the future of races
Dec 21, 2017
95: OCD, Jealousy, Over-working, and advice for a naturopath
01:01:00
 OCD, Jealousy, Over-working, and advice for a naturopath
Dec 14, 2017
94: Dating on a diet, Painful memories, jealousy, working long hours
00:59:00
Continuing on with the questions from last week's show.   5. Is orthorexia real?  Does it apply to an actually health-promoting diet & lifestyle? 6. Dating while on a diet: How to bring it up without scaring your date away 7.  Painful memories: Why do they replay?  Why do they come up? 8. Do women naturally attempt to dominate men in long term relationships? 9. Jealousy 10. How much abuse can our bodies take from working long hours all our lives?
Dec 07, 2017
93: Relocating, Sexual Harassment current events, Dating on a diet, and more...
01:04:00
Tonight's questions will be: 1. Follow up question for what the future will look like 2.  What to consider when relocating your life:  Near family, low cost of living, wild experiences, etc.. 3.  Sexual harassment allegations in the current news 4. Anxiety about transitioning to a healthy diet 5. Is orthorexia real?  Does it apply to an actually health-promoting diet & lifestyle? 6. Dating while on a diet: How to bring it up without scaring your date away 7.  Painful memories: Why do they replay?  Why do they come up? 8. Do women naturally attempt to dominate men in long term relationships? 9. Jealousy 10. How much abuse can our bodies take from working long hours all our lives?  
Nov 30, 2017
92: What will the future look like?
00:57:00
What will the future look like?    
Nov 16, 2017
91: Live callers
00:48:00
Live callers
Nov 09, 2017
90: Saying sorry, Borderline personality, Multiple personality, politics
00:58:00
Saying sorry, Borderline personality, multiple personality, politics
Nov 02, 2017
89: Ex-husband & father of my kids is a sociopath. On-air session
00:53:00
Ex-husband & father of my kids is a sociopath. On-air session
Oct 26, 2017
88: Quitting vices: One by one or altogether? Helping your SO with their vices
00:51:00
Topics: Quitting vices one by one or altogether?  Helping your SO with their vices Why are students so stressed? Tips to deal with this. Standing up for yourself if you're highly agreeabl  
Oct 19, 2017
87: Psych of Halloween costumes, talking to yourself, modern technology
00:50:00
87: Psych of Halloween costumes, talking to yourself, modern technology
Oct 12, 2017
86: What is a middle-of-the-bell-curve person like, braces, alcohol addiction .
01:02:00
What is a middle-of-the-bell-curve person like? and more listener questions
Oct 05, 2017
85:Is online dating worth it, qualifying for your spouse..
00:53:00
Is online dating worth it, qualifying for your spouse.. Article on online dating:  https://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/30/science/for-couples-time-can-upend-the-laws-of-attraction.html
Sep 28, 2017
84: Building a community, Getting over an ex's past, non-sexual fetishes, & more
00:55:00
Building a community, Getting over an ex's past, non-sexual fetishes, & more
Sep 21, 2017
83: Q &A
00:48:00
Ep 83
Sep 14, 2017
82: Overcoming height/weight/financial differences while dating
00:44:00
Overcoming height/weight differences while dating
Sep 07, 2017
81: Questions for Dr. Lisle
00:55:00
episode 81
Aug 31, 2017
80: On-Air Session w Listener & Dr Lisle
00:57:00
On Air Session w Listener & Dr Lisle
Aug 24, 2017
79: Doing good, Overbearing parents, Does birth order matter, facing death
01:04:00
Overbearing parents, Does sibling birth order matter, facing death
Aug 17, 2017
78: Google's memo controversy
01:03:00
A google engineer wrote a memo explaining biological differences between men and women.  
Aug 10, 2017
77: Child prodigies, Cat-fishing, Being born w a deformity
01:01:00
Child prodigies, Cat-fishing, Being born w  a deformity
Aug 03, 2017
76: Dating mind-games, Binge-eating
01:13:00
Some fun listener questions 
Jul 27, 2017
75: Helping friends/family, self-confidence vs. self-esteem
00:55:00
Helping friends/family, self-confidence vs. self-esteem
Jul 20, 2017
74: Millenials
00:53:00
Millenials
Jul 13, 2017
73: Parenting styles, Millenials, Bringing back purpose
00:51:00
Parenting styles, Millenials, Bringing back purpose
Jul 06, 2017
72: Confidence, Intolerance, finding your purpose
00:50:00
We'll go over an interesting study, some listener emails/questions. 
Jun 29, 2017
71: Hard-wired: Nature vs. Nurture
00:59:00
Tonight's episode:  - Two recent studies  - Listener emails - A very funny caller with a great question
Jun 22, 2017
70: Finding your identity - an on-air session w Dr. Lisle and a listener
00:48:00
Dr. Lisle talks with a listener during an on-air session about life direction, identity, and finding happiness. 
Jun 15, 2017
69: Animal haters, Porn in LTR, Being a nicer person, Decision fatigue & Netflix
00:58:00
1.  If evolutionary psychology considers parental investment theory and the investment in kin as essential why do so many people in the West keep animals.  2.  I used to get really upset when my partner watched . I have relaxed and now feel like it's not the worst thing he can do and will not end my relationship so I shouldn't get upset. What do you think? 3.  Can a person's placing on the agreeability continuum be situational? I believe I am more or less disagreeable depending on the dynamics of different relationships. Is there anything a disagreeable person like me can do to Beat My Genes and become a nicer person. 4.  Previously, you've mentioned the thing that matters for a woman's pair bond value is her physical attractiveness, and that the female is objectively 1 rating more attractive than the male, who comes with resources. I know a few couples where the male is significantly more attractive than the female, and in which the female has greater resources to offer than the male. This sort of pair bonding relationship should not happen according to you. What's going on here?  5. What can people do to defeat decision fatigue and overcome the allure of Netflix? I have a project that I've been slowly working on, but after work I'm too tired to work on it, and on weekends I'm so overwhelmed by decision fatigue about whether to do more pressing errands (cooking, creating a budget, shopping, etc) or devote time to my project that I end up neglecting everything. 6.  You explained male homosexuality from an evolutionary psychology perspective, but what about female homosexuality? 7.  Other than being the best renditions of our respective selves, what can one do to build up their perceived status in the village?
Jun 08, 2017
68: Explaining enablers, dating with psychiatric disorders, and having grit
00:57:00
 Explaining enablers, dating with psychiatric disorders, and having grit
Jun 01, 2017
67: About Dr. Lisle Part 2, Myths of Moderation when making health changes
00:50:00
Part 2 of Dr. Lisle's interview on Andrew Taylor's Spud Fit podcast.  He disusses the Myths of Moderation along with the Ego Trap with regards to making healthy lifestyle changes. 
May 25, 2017
66: About Dr. Doug Lisle
00:45:00
We'll get to know a little more about how Dr. Lisle became a psychologist and how he learned about evolutionary psychology.  This is Part 1 of a two-part interview.  Stay tuned next week for part 2. 
May 18, 2017
65: Finding your edge in life
00:48:00
I'll read a follow-up email with one of our listeners. And some fun questions from our listeners this week as well.  We will try to get to as many as possible.
May 11, 2017
64: Dealing with a Micromanager - An On-Air session with Dr. Lisle
00:38:00
Our caller just got a new job and his new supervisor insists on micromanaging everything he does.  
May 04, 2017
63: Marital jealousy, Distancing yourself, Self-limiting beliefs,and more...
00:43:00
Question we will try to get to: 1. Is the concept of self limiting beliefs the same as ego traps in evo psych? Why do these occur? 2.  My boyfriend and I are very nice people (very agreeable). Frustrating and funny at the same time. We have a problem figuring out what we want, since our first reaction is to please other people. But because we are not alone in the world, what happens a lot is that our decisions are made by others... We decided to try to have a baby. There is simply so much written and said on how to raise a child and even what’s best for pregnant women. I’m panicking even just by looking down this hole. Since we are both highly conscientious  as well, I’m afraid of falling into “read everything, talk to everyone, worry about advice that don’t go well together and try to find the perfect solution”.  Your last  shows sort of comforted me. If almost everything is in the genes, then I don’t have to worry as much about bringing up a small child. So my two questions would be: Do you have any special advice for the first time parents?  Do you have any sort of suggestions for dealing with relatives, friends, acquaintances for two agreeable parents like us? 3. How does Evo Psych examine dictators, group compliance & control, etc. through an evolutionary lens? Figures like Stalin, Hitler, Jim Jones, Chares Manson come to mind to name a few. Also, how would something like the door-in-the-face technique be explained through Ev. Psych?  4. In my circle of friends and family, it seems to me that those who identify as “Dog” people are skewed on the disagreeable side of the bell curve. While “Cat” people, are heavily skewed on the agreeable side of the curve. Is there any truth to this Cat/Dog person comparison, or is it a gross generalization?      
Apr 27, 2017
62: Making it to Date #2, Political Correctness, Self-Limiting Beliefs
00:54:00
Listener questions we will try to get to for today: 1. For a successful first date, Dr. Lisle said the goal is to not get ruled out.  I'm using online dating and it seems like every time that I've met a girl that meets my standards physically, we'll have a pretty good first date, but then when I try to set up another date I usually hear from them that they didn't feel a connection.  Based on what you guys talk about in your podcast it leads me to believe that what they're saying is an inoffensive way of saying I wasn't physically attractive enough myself.  But I remember Dr. Lisle mentioning in his advice for guys that we want to take advantage of the repeat exposure effect.  How do I take advantage of this effect when I'm consistently told there's no connection from the woman after we've only gone out on one date.  And as a side question, has online dating ruined the repeat exposure effect since people feel obligated to judge others for romantic potential very quickly. 2.  Why does so much anger exist from groups like Black Lives Matter? What is the evolutionary psychology foundation for political correctness & why is it so pervasive? Why is it so difficult for people to accept political in-correctness without feeling angry or insulted? Is there a way to make someone less sensitive to political in-correctness? 3.  What are men and women trying to signal with tattoos?  What are women trying to signal by getting tattoos in non conspicuous locations, for example hidden behind the ear, or on the ankle. 4. Is the concept of self limiting beliefs the same as ego traps in evolutionary psychology? Why do these occur? 5. In his session with Olivia, Dr. Lisle alluded to the next phase dealing with disagreeable personalities, but he didn't get into the meat of it. I need the meat. Any chance you could expound?
Apr 20, 2017
61: Marxism, Affairs, Video Games, Tattoo signaling
00:49:00
Marxism, Affairs, Video Games, Tattoo signaling
Apr 13, 2017
60: What if your mate rival drives a Porsche, Succeeding at job interviews
01:01:00
What if your mate rival drives a Porsche, Succeeding at job interviews
Apr 06, 2017
59: How different do we act when we're being watched?
00:53:00
How different do we act when we're being watched? 
Mar 30, 2017
58: Mate-choice copying, The Milgram Experiment, Trans athletes, Darwin Awards
00:58:00
-Do men appear more desirable when seen with attractive women? What does the science say?   -Stanley Milgram's famous study demonstrated people's capacity for obedience to an authority figure in the name of the common good. Recently, Milgram's work was replicated.  The results may surprise you. -One transgender athlete has made it to the spotlight in competitive lifting.  Listen to what happened.  -In honor of Darwin, we present a Darwin Award whereby someone unwittingly takes themselves out of the gene pool in an unbelievably silly manner.  Runner-up award may be given to those who only injured themselves. 
Mar 23, 2017
57: Listener emails, questions
00:55:00
57: Listener emails
Mar 16, 2017
56: How to deal with flaky/lazy children & flaky friends
00:55:00
How to deal with flakes part 2
Mar 09, 2017
55: Discussion about vicious cycles, listener emails, callers welcome
01:04:00
Vicious cycles, listener questions
Mar 02, 2017
54: Repairing a strained relationship: On-air session with Olivia & Dr. Lisle
00:56:00
Olivia is having some trouble at home so she calls in and has a session with Dr. Lisle.   
Feb 23, 2017
53: Flakes, gays, and cougars
00:59:00
A conversation with Dr. Lisle about flakes.  We take a caller with a few excellent questions. 
Feb 16, 2017
52: Listener questions, emails, and comments
00:57:00
Listener questions, emails, and comments
Feb 09, 2017
51: How to feel good, how to succceed at life improvement
00:56:00
How to feel good, how to succceed at life improvement
Feb 02, 2017
50: What's your personality?
00:54:00
We will review how to assess your own personality characteristics by going over the BF-10/Ten Item PersonalityIndex survey.  You can download it here:  http://gosling.psy.utexas.edu/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/tipi.pdf
Jan 26, 2017
49:Overthinking, Reading ppl, family embarrasment, & what to do if you're 'ugly'
00:55:00
49: Listener questions & comments
Jan 12, 2017
48: What's the point of psychotherapy, how to influence others
01:05:00
What's the point of psychotherapy?
Jan 05, 2017
47: Free will, Basis of EvoPsych, Positive/Negative Reinforcement
00:46:00
We discuss free will, take a call from a behavioral therapist asking about the scientific validity of evolutionary psychology, and Dr. Lisle explains the flawed thinking of positive & negative reinforcement. 
Dec 29, 2016
46: Listener emails & questions
00:57:00
Episode 46:  Listener emails & questions
Dec 22, 2016
45: Willpower & Change Part 2
01:02:00
Understanding willpower and change part 2.  A follow up from last week.
Dec 15, 2016
44: Willpower and Change
01:01:00
Willpower & Change, an evolutionary psychology take.
Dec 08, 2016
43: Inside the Criminal Mind
00:54:00
Dr. Lisle shares his experiences as a forensic psychologist for the criminal justice system in Dallas, Texas.  We will go inside the psychology of a criminal mind with some insights & stories. 
Dec 01, 2016
42: Listener questions, comments, and emails. Callers welcome!
00:57:00
 Listener questions, comments, and emails. Callers welcome!
Nov 24, 2016
41: Why is academia so left wing?
00:46:00
Why is academia so liberal/left-wing?
Nov 17, 2016
40: Sexual Abuse/Trauma
00:51:00
How does sexual abuse or trauma affect us?
Nov 10, 2016
39: Procrastination
00:56:00
Understanding procrastination.
Nov 03, 2016
38: More listener questions/comments
01:05:00
Lots of emails and questions from our last few shows so I'll be reading the emails on air and Dr. Lisle will be answering your questions. 
Oct 27, 2016
37: Election 2016- Psychology of Trump, Clinton and the rest of politics
01:06:00
The USA Presidential Election has been unbelievable.  We will be discussing the psychology of Trump, Clinton and how an evolutionary psychologist, Dr. Doug Lisle, PhD, would view this election and its many politics.  
Oct 20, 2016
36: Dealing with Grief, Loss, and Sadness
00:49:00
We'll talk about dealing with grief, loss, and sadness
Oct 13, 2016
35: Keys to a Successful First Date (for Women)
00:57:00
This week is for women. Last week was for men. 
Oct 06, 2016
34: Keys to a successful 1st date (for Men)
00:59:00
This week is for men.  Next week is for women.
Sep 29, 2016
33: Stress Management
00:59:00
How do we manage stress?
Sep 22, 2016
32: Listener emails & questions
00:45:00
We'll read & answer listener emails & questions.
Sep 15, 2016
31: Psychology of Humor
00:46:00
We'll talk about the psychology behind humor. 
Sep 08, 2016
30: Listener questions
00:59:00
Email any questions to BeatYourGenes@gmail.com or call in 657-383-0751    Some of the questions we'll go over... From listeners: 1) Why do we see a huge discrepancy between societies empathy towards human needs until it comes to sexual satisfaction. We use tax money to fund basic needs of all kinds but if you're a sexual loser you're basically on your own in every way shape and form. Aren't outcast losers in the sexual realm more likely to become radical, rebellious, dangerous to the group? Are there any "stone age" examples of us quelling these dangers and are there any modern examples? 2) Western men seem to be overwhelmed because they are seeing the women they want drenched in sexual attention and it is petrifying them, often at an early age. Age difference is key here because guys in middle to late teens are just starting to figure out their place in the world, but teen girls the moment they hit legal status can be launched all the way into status and they aren't often keen to hide it. Western society is at a place where hypergamy is broadcasted due to marketing patterns which have always taken advantage of sex while young men are unable to ignore their peers being rocketed into the sexual marketing realm left wondering what is really left for them?  
Sep 01, 2016
29: Grudges, Sports, and Rivalry
00:53:00
Evolutionary pscyhology explains grudges, sports competitions, and the rivalries that go with it. 
Aug 25, 2016
28: Listener questions & call-ins
00:56:00
If you've listened to an episode and had some questions or comments, now's the show to call in and ask them.  Email me with your questions  BeatYourGenes@gmail.com  or call in 657-383-0751 live at 8:30pm PST.   
Aug 18, 2016
27: How to Make Great Friends
01:06:00
How do we make such great friends? We'll answer this question by going over an article called "Why Men Are Better at Friendship Than Women"
Aug 11, 2016
26: What He Says vs. What He Means
00:55:00
A humorously scientific look about what men say vs. what they mean.   
Aug 04, 2016
25: What she says vs. What she means
00:55:00
A humorously scientific look about what women say and what they really mean. 
Jul 28, 2016
24: Keys to a Successful Relationship
00:58:00
We will discuss: - Why Do Relationships Fail? - What your partner says vs. what they mean - Comment on ways to "Hack Your Relationship"   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Feel free to call with your own story, question, or comment at 657-383-0751.  We are live on Wednesdays at 8:30pm PST.  Or email us at BeatYourGenes@gmail.com
Jul 21, 2016
23: Do opposites attract?
00:59:00
In this episode, we discuss a prominent psychologist's approach to relationships (called Emotional Focused Therapy) and how it relates to evolutionary psychology.  We will hear a discussion between Dr. Lisle and a Marriage & Family Therapist on the differences between their approaches.  We discuss an article about the key to relationship happiness.  We go over more real life examples and questions. 
Jul 14, 2016
22: More real life examples of relationship conflict
01:00:00
Listen in as we go over a few real examples from our listeners of relationship conflicts.      If you have a situation you'd like some help with please email us at BeatYourGenes@gmail.com or call in to the show live on Wednesdays at 8:30pm PST at 657-383-0751
Jul 07, 2016
21: Real life examples of relationship conflict
00:58:00
Listen in as we go over a few real examples from our listeners of relationship conflicts.      If you have a situation you'd like some help with please email us at BeatYourGenes@gmail.com or call in to the show live at 657-383-0751    
Jun 30, 2016
20: Common Relationship Problems & how to solve them
01:00:00
Nate G and Dr. Doug Lisle discuss common dating traps that men and women find themselves in.   We will also go over some listener comments/emails.    If you'd like some advice from Dr. Lisle, feel free to email us at BeatYourGenes@gmail.com or call in live at 657-383-0751 at 7:30pm PST on Wednesdays. 
Jun 23, 2016
19: Common Dating Traps & how to avoid them
00:59:00
Nate G and Dr. Doug Lisle discuss common dating traps that men and women find themselves in.   We will also go over some listener comments/emails.    If you'd like some advice from Dr. Lisle, feel free to email us at BeatYourGenes@gmail.com or call in live at 657-383-0751 at 7:30pm PST on Wednesdays. 
Jun 16, 2016
18: Which men and women "hook up" the most
00:59:00
We discuss which type of people hooks up the most.
Jun 09, 2016
17: Caller asks Dr. Lisle about polyamory
00:56:00
Pyschologist Dr. Doug Lisle, PhD, takes a call from a man looking to learn more about human mating psychology If any listeners would like to call and ask advice from Dr. Lisle for a show, please email BeatYourGenes@gmail.com
Jun 02, 2016
16: How much to spend on a first date?
00:55:00
Using the tips and tricks from evolutionary psychology, we talk about first dates and what they signal to our potential mates.   Dating can be confusing, frustrating, intriguing, but also fun.  If we are aware of the signals we're sending, we can modify our behavior to send the right signals.     
May 26, 2016
15: Making Yourself More Attractive
01:06:00
We continue on the topic of Love, Sex, Dating, and Relationships - how to make yourself more attractive and how to outsmart your genes when needed.   Nate G talks with Dr. Doug Lisle, PhD about evolutionary psychology and how it relates to dating & relationships, common issues that come up, and how to improve yourself to attract better partners.     
May 19, 2016
14: More on love, sex, dating, and relationships
01:05:00
We discuss real life situations to find what we need to do to find happiness.  To do this, we have to sometimes go against our instincts. This is called "beating your genes".  Listen as I, Nate G, your host, talks with Dr. Doug LIsle, evolutionary psychologist,  about life, love, relationships, and most importantly finding happiness in the modern world.    We are live on Wednesdays at 8:30-9:30pm PST.  If you have a question or comment, or maybe even a complicated situation that you'd like some advice on, feel free to call us live at 657-383-0751 or email us at BeatYourGenes@gmail.com .  
May 17, 2016
13: Making Yourself More Date-able Part 2
01:01:00
You might never become a Brad Pitt or Cindy Crawford, but that shouldn't stop you from trying.  Last episode, we went over the right moves to make to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex. This show, we'll get to all the listener comments and questions about how to make yourself more attractive. Join Nate G and Dr. Doug Lisle in a show designed to help you find happiness and navigate the modern world with what you've got.  A show where you''ll learn how to outsmart your genes to find true, lasting happiness.  We are live every Wednesday at 7:30-8:30pm PST. Callers are welcome to call in at (657) 383-0751 at that time with any questions no matter how "simple" or "basic" you think it is - We'd love to chat with you.
May 12, 2016
12: Making Yourself More Date-able
00:58:00
You might never become a Brad Pitt or Cindy Crawford, but that shouldn't stop you from trying.  In tonight's episode, we will go over the right moves to make to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex.   Join Nate G and Dr. Doug Lisle in a show designed to help you find happiness and navigate the modren world with what you've got.  A show where you''ll learn how to outsmart your genes to find true, lasting happiness.  We are live every Wednesday at 7:30-8:30pm PST. Callers are welcome to call in at (657) 383-0751 at that time with any questions no matter how "simple" or "basic" you think it is - We'd love to chat with you.      
May 05, 2016
11: Love, Sex, Dating, Relationships Part 3
01:01:00
We'll be following up from last week's episode on the same topic.  Callers welcome.  We are live Wednesdays at 7:30-8:30pm PST.   If you've always wanted to talk to a psychologist about something, we are happy to take the call no matter how "simple" or "basic" you think the question is.      
Apr 28, 2016
10: Biological Clock, Sexual Variety, Settling Down, & Male Groupies
01:00:00
This is a follow-up to last week's episode.. We will be going over more common mistakes that we all make in the mating dance that is dating.   ************************ Callers are welcome to call in this episode 657-383-0751 You can ask Dr. Lisle a question about a personal issue or just call in to comment on something ***********************   If you've ever had a dating experience where you felt you coudn't control yourself or the eventual outcome, that was your genes compelling you to behave in a certain way.  This is a double-edged sword.  On one hand, you can be optimizing your genes surviving but on the other hand, it may be detrimental to long-term happiness.  We have evolved to enjoy the pursuit of love & sex through dating and relationships.  In this episode we discuss how we can optimize happiness in this area by beating our genes. 
Apr 21, 2016
09: Love, Sex, Dating, Relationships
00:58:00
If you've ever had a dating experience where you felt you coudn't control yourself or the eventual outcome, that was your genes compelling you to behave in a certain way.  This is a double-edged sword.  On one hand, you can be optimizing your genes surviving but on the other hand, it may be detrimental to long-term happiness.  We have evolved to enjoy the pursuit of love & sex through dating and relationships.  In this episode we discuss how we can optimize happiness in this area by beating our genes.   
Apr 14, 2016
08: How to get along without going along
00:57:00
Ever have a pushy friend that's trying to get you to do something you don't want to?   It may seem like the only way to get them to understand "no" is to be rude or leave.   In this episode, Dr. Doug Lisle, PhD discusses how to get along without going along.  For a variety of scenarios it is in our best interest to get along with our friends, family members, and co-workers.  However, that does not mean that we have to just do everything they want us to.   Learn some unique tips and tricks for staying firm but remaining pleasant. 
Apr 07, 2016
07: Understanding Your Personality
00:57:00
We will be discussing personality diffferences and what role they play in different life circumstances.  For example, if you ever had to hire an attorney to defend you, you would want them to be a generally argumentative person.  If you had to hire an accountant, you'd want them to be very detail-oriented.  Similarly, if you are a naturally passionate and highly extraverted person, sitting at a desk job in your own cubicle all day long can be miserable even if it's a great job.  How can you meet these challenges while staying true to who you are?   
Mar 31, 2016
06: Gender Dynamics and Differences in Men and Women
00:53:00
We discuss the biological difference between men and women, how this translates into modern society.    
Mar 24, 2016
05: Stone-Age politics vs. Modern-day politics
00:58:00
Where do political views come from?  As you will hear, Dr Lisle explains that political differences evolved from our basic need to optimize the survival of the stone age village.  This results in a natural split of political views that essentially desire to either "share more" or "share less".  
Mar 17, 2016
04: A common scenario for women in the modern environment
00:55:00
As Dr. Lisle discusses the purpose of psychology, we begin with a discussion of thoughts, feelings, and behavior.    Some philosophers believe that we can think one thing and then feel something completely different but Dr. Lisle explains these seemingly conflicting thoughts & feelings explains how this relates to stress.  We continue on to discuss different models of psychology and some of the limits of learning theory.  For example,  do we learn our emotions during childhood?     Dr. Lisle discusses an example of a common "beat your genes" trap for women nowadays of staying with a man who's not right for her.    We continue on this topic for the remainder of the show and Dr. Lisle begins the explanation about differing mating strategies. 
Mar 09, 2016
03: High Cost of High Expectations
00:59:00
Motivation and expectations are supposed to go hand-in-hand.  The idea being - if you're expected to achieve a goal, your motivation kicks in to meet these expectations.  In this episode, Dr. Lisle goes over a concept called The Ego Trap.  Which is the trap we may find ourselves in if the expectations of our performance exceeds what we think we can reasonably accomplish.  Nate G asks Dr. Lisle to describe this trap, how this process works, why it works the way it does, and how to effectively overcome it. 
Mar 03, 2016
02: Stepping stones to Self-Esteem
00:58:00
What does "self-esteem" actually mean?  In this episode, Dr. Lisle goes over the history of the study of self-esteem.  Then he explains his own discoveries of  esteem processes including self-esteem. As it turns out, nobody can give you "self-esteem".  Dr. Lisle explains that self-esteem is quite literally esteem of your self, so it is how you view yourself.  So, what's called "low self-esteem" or "high self-esteem" is entirely based on how you view yourself.  However, this view is not easily changed, as Dr. Lisle describes a concept called the "internal audience" - a sort of social meter sitting inside your mind that views your own behavior & effort in context with expectations.   When you impress your 'internal audience' through diligent effort, you feel higher self-esteem.  In this episode, Dr. Lisle describes what you can do to impress your internal audience and therefore improve your self-esteem.  
Feb 25, 2016
01: Happiness vs. Pleasure : What is the goal of life?
01:00:00
In our very first episode, Nate G talks with Dr. Doug Lisle, PhD about the purpose of life, happiness vs. pleasure, and the psychological mechanisms that guide our behavior.    Dr. Lisle talks about some important findings that suggest that the purpose of life (biologically) is quite simple - to spread our own genes and ensure their survival into the next few generations.  Because of this, our entire biology, physiology, and psychology is built around this goal.  It's been like this for the entire history of our species and we have survived in nature due to this goal.  All of a sudden, comes the modern environment of convenience and innovation in an incredibly short time frame.  With this new environment comes a new set of challenges that our brains were never designed to solve. In this podcast and in future episodes, Dr. Lisle methodically describes what role the mind and, therefore, our behavior plays in our life experience and satisfaction.  
Feb 18, 2016