A podcast with friends. One’s a bartender, and the other is…well, also a bartender. After leaving his long, yet unfortunate career as a morning radio show host, Drew Mitchell gave the middle finger to anything promising ahead of him in exchange for a chance to make something of himself through this lackluster, at best, podcast. Then there’s Nick Amoroso, the second wanna-be headliner of the show. Nick, in short, is akin to the sharpest crayon in your childhood trapper keeper, but like only sharp because the color was so awful you vowed to never use it. The show, aptly named Drew and Nick are Going Nowhere, is a podcast with friends. But, let’s be honest – these guys don’t have friends. So really, this show is just a chance for the people that tolerate them to come together for an hour or less in Nick’s Kitchen and create the greatest content ever known to man. Future generations will tell times of the show’s segments like “Where Do Squirrels Go at Night”, “The Nic of Love”, which we hear the theme song is up for a Grammy, or even “Random Whiskey Thoughts with Drew Mitchell.” If we’re lucky, future thots and hipsters will wear t-shirts with our logos on them, ruining our reputation (if that’s even possible), while posing on the Instagrams and Twitters of tomorrow, or whatever “the kids” will be calling them then. This show isn’t for the faint of heart, those who are easily offended and especially those who won’t hold the towel – because really, if you’re asked to do that, it’s a privilege and you should treat it as such. Damn. We are so glad you took the time to actually read this description. You must know, it took an intoxicated friend entirely too long to write it, so thank you. And thank you for listening. I guess we could pull a Meryl Streep here and dedicate this moment of your time to tearing down Donald Trump, but we’re too selfish for that. This is our time and we’re the ones here to make ‘Merica great again.