The Betchelor

By Betches Media

Listen to a podcast, please open Podcast Republic app. Available on Google Play Store.

Category: Comedy

Open in iTunes

Open RSS feed

Open Website

Rate for this podcast

Subscribers: 50
Reviews: 0


The Betchelor is a Bachelor recap podcast presented by social producer Kay Brown of Betches Media and former Bachelorette heartthrob and Bachelor in Paradise winner Derek Peth. This weekly podcast follows the latest episodes and makes fun of all the ridiculous things the contestants say and do – because honestly, why else watch the show if not for the commentary? For more info check out weekly recaps from Bachelor alums at or their Instagram, @betchelorpodcast.

Episode Date
Fantasy Suites: Jesus Take The Windmill
Kay and Derek are back for fantasy suites and start the show with a hilarious listener review. At 7:30 they discuss Pilot Pete’s ex-girlfriend dragging him in a recent article. They also react to the brand new Paradise trailer. At 27:50 they dive into this week’s episode, beginning with Pete’s underwhelming boat date. Why don’t any of these final three guys actually have something meaningful to say? Next, they talk about Tyler’s lack of emotional connection with Hannah on his date. Should we be shocked that she didn’t end up choosing to sleep with him? Then they cover Luke P’s constant pouting, visit to the fantasy suite, and subsequent meltdown. At 49:00 they discuss Luke’s pathetic use of his religion as a weapon. Then they finish the show with the most memorable moments of the week and their Cringe Harrison Award winner.   Thanks to our sponsors! SkinnyPop Popcorn: You can find SkinnyPop at retailers nationwide, or go to!
Jul 16, 2019
Hometowns: Pete’s Dad Is Too Pure For This World
Kay and Derek are back to talk about the hometowns episode of The Bachelorette. They start with the trip to meet Pilot Pete’s family in California. Is this the sweetest family in the history of the show? At 12:30 they move on to Tyler C’s date and ask if there’s any emotional connection between these two. Next, they discuss Luke P’s hometown visit and all the red flags that came along with it. What do the people in his bible study group think of him now that the show has aired? At 32:10 they cover Jed’s hometown and the elephant in the room. Why does she still need validation from his family if they made it this far? At 45:00 they recap Hannah’s breakdown at the rose ceremony and her ultimate cop out. Then they close out the show with the sweetest, saltiest and cheesiest moments of the week, plus their Cringe Harrison Award winner.   Thanks to our sponsors!   SkinnyPop Popcorn: You can find SkinnyPop at retailers nationwide, or go to!   BetterHelp: Go to and enter discount code Betchelor for 10% off your first month!   Scentbird: Go to and use code Betchelor for 50% off your first month!
Jul 09, 2019
Dry Heaving On A Horse In Amsterdam
Kay and Derek are back to break down the Bachelorette’s trip to Amsterdam. They start with updates on the two guys who entered the house with girlfriends at home, and discuss all the toxic masculinity going on this season. Is this the bro-iest season in the history of the show? At 10:20 they break down the show going to Amsterdam and how obvious it is that Jed has never travelled in his life. At 22:00 they discuss all the dry heaving that happened on Hannah and Tyler’s date. They cover Mike getting cut from the show and speculate about what’s next for him. Then they dive into the showdown between Garrett and Luke, including the moment when bologna got thrown around. Plus, they discuss Luke trying to use his faith to manipulate Hannah. At 53:00 they close out the show with the best and worst moments of the week and the Cringe Harrison Award winner.   Thanks to our sponsors!   SkinnyPop Popcorn: You can find SkinnyPop at retailers nationwide, or go to!   BetterHelp: Go to and enter discount code Betchelor for 10% off your first month!
Jul 02, 2019
Is Hannah Dickmatized By Luke P? Ft. Brandi Cyrus
Kay and Derek are joined by Brandi Cyrus to break down this week’s Bachelorette drama. They start off with Derek’s return from filming Bachelor in Paradise and recap what he missed while he was away, including Jed’s shady move. At 11:53 they dive into Hannah and Garrett bungee jumping naked. Does anybody think that counts as a sexy date? They revisit last week’s weird recap scene and share conspiracy theories on what that was all about. At 22:45 they discuss the group date and Luke P’s possessive behavior. Is Hannah just keeping Luke P around because she’s dickmatized? They talk about some of the surprise roses handed out tonight and share the best and worst moments of the episode, then close out the show with their Cringe Harrison Award winner.   Thanks to our sponsor!   SkinnyPop Popcorn: You can find SkinnyPop at retailers nationwide, or go to!
Jun 25, 2019
Thirty, Flirty & Unemployed Ft. Grant Eckel
Kay is joined by Bachelorette contestant Grant Eckel to spill some tea and talk about his recent departure from the show. He reacts to the crazy news story about Jed, explains how he was originally cast on the show, and tells us what Hannah was really like. Plus, Kay and Grant play a game of Red Flag or Dealbreaker. Thanks to our sponsor! SkinnyPop Popcorn: You can find SkinnyPop at retailers nationwide, or go to!
Jun 19, 2019
Derek Goes To Paradise Ft. Caila Quinn
Kay is joined by Caila Quinn of Ben Higgins’ season of The Bachelor to discuss last night’s episode. They start off with a huge announcement about where Derek has been the last two weeks. Then they break down the newly-announced cast of Bachelor in Paradise. At 10:35 they dive into the latest Bachelorette drama, beginning with Hannah and Luke P’s never-ending date. Why is she still hanging onto this guy? They talk about the cocktail party, including Hannah’s weird “unseen you” speech. They discuss Chris Harrison coming in to recap the entire season after only six episodes. At 32:15 they share their sweet, salty and cheesy moments of the week, then close out the show with their Cringe Harrison Award winners. Thanks to our sponsors! SkinnyPop Popcorn: You can find SkinnyPop at retailers nationwide, or go to! Scentbird: Go to and use code BETCHELOR for 50% off your first month! BruMate: Visit and enter code BETCHELOR to get 15% off your first order!
Jun 18, 2019
In Memory Of John Paul Jones Ft. Jared Freid
Kay is joined by Jared Freid of the UUp? podcast to break down this week’s episode of The Bachelorette, and they’re both not having it with ABC’s scheduled change. At 7:50 they discuss the untimely exit of John Paul Jones and try to explain why the audience came to love him. Next, they talk about Hannah’s weird decision to play therapist between the Lukes and her one-on-one date with Mike. Is he poised to become the next Bachelor? They react to the Scottish wrestling group date when all the guys went balls out for Hannah’s attention, and discuss Jed’s strong move to get the rose. At 43:00 they talk about the painful Luke P. date. Is this guy really a master manipulator? Then they close out the show with their Cringe Harrison Award winners for the week. Thanks to our sponsors! BetterHelp: Go to and enter discount code Betchelor for 10% off your first month! Openfit: Get a special extended 30-day free trial membership to Openfit when you text Betchelor to 303030 StoryWorth: For $20 off, visit when you subscribe!
Jun 12, 2019
Tyler C., You’re An Outfit Repeater
Kay and Derek kick off with some Bachelor Nation news featuring inside info on Raven and Adam’s engagement. At 7:45 they dive into this week’s episode of The Bachelorette, starting with Luke’s tequila company making it on the show and Jed’s head getting a one-on-one date. They talk about Kay’s dream of a group date, including the aggressive rugby match and all the pastel outfits. Are we all just going to ignore the fact that Tyler C. is an outfit repeater? They discuss the Luke on Luke crime that went down during the cocktail hour and tell us who they think deserves to be the next Bachelor. At 45:45 they close out the show with their Cringe Harrison Award winners.
Jun 04, 2019
Was Hannah Actually Sick Or Just Hungover? Ft. Fat Carrie Bradshaw
Derek is joined by Chris Burns (Fat Carrie Bradshaw) of the Everyone’s Gay podcast. They start out talking about beauty pageants and Derek learns what a filler queen is. At 7:05 they discuss the first group date featuring Jason Biggs and his wife. WTF was that electric shock scene all about? At 15:00 they talk about Jed’s one-on-one time with Hannah, then dive into Mike’s heartfelt moment and the Cam-Mike conflict that ensued. At 23:05 it’s time to talk about Hannah’s weird hospital visit and Connor’s cheesy love notes. Do we believe he really thought of that himself? At 31:30 they talk about the music performance and the pets photo shoot, including Demi’s failed spy mission. Then they discuss Cam’s latest sob stories and break down the rose ceremony. They close out the show with their “Cringe Harrison Award” winners, featuring Luke P’s emotional week.
May 28, 2019
Cam Could Not Be Any Creepier
Kay and Derek cover this week’s episode of The Bachelorette, starting with all the Kelly Ripa drama. Why is she coming for the show? At 6:00 they discuss the awkward Mr. Right Pageant, including Luke’s crazy-early expression of love for Hannah and the surprising winner. Kay shares some inside info she got in a DM from Cam’s ex-girlfriend. They talk about the first one-on-one date and Derek makes a prediction for who the next Bachelor could be. Then at 28:00 they dive into Cam’s creepy date-crashing moment and the confrontation that ensued. Is Cam just trying to make this show all about himself? At 33:00 they close out the show with a rose ceremony recap and the “Cringe Harrison Award” winners of the week.
May 21, 2019
Bachelorette Premiere: Rule #1 Don’t Have A Girlfriend
Kay and Derek are back for the premiere of Hannah’s season of the Bachelorette. They start out with updates on the biggest news in Bachelor Nation and Derek spills the tea on rumors going around about him and Stephanie Pratt. At 12:20 they dive into the new cast and discuss the weird rumors about Matt. They recap the cast introductions, including the most memorable entrances, and talk about some of the strangest moments of the episode. Was the FaceTime chat with Hannah the most awkward way they’ve ever broken the news to a new Bachelorette? They close out the show with a conversation about who got the first kiss, who got sent home, and the bombshell news about one of the guys having a girlfriend at home.
May 14, 2019
#42 Bachelor Finale: Hannah B. Is Already Annoying Ft. Nick Viall
Kay and Derek are back and talking about the finale to Colton’s season of The Bachelor. They start by recapping the insane Betches watch party in New York City. At 4:45 they dive into the aftermath of Colton’s fence jump and everything that followed. Who is Chris Harrison talking to on his burner phone when Colton goes missing? They talk about Tayshia handling the breakup so well, Hannah G not even getting a final date and Colton’s new haircut. They share their thoughts on whether or not Colton trapped Cassie, then finish the finale recap with a reaction to Hannah B getting named the next Bachelorette. Is everyone already getting tired of her lack of personality? At 41:40 we hear the live #BetchelorNation finale pre-show. Nick Viall joins them onstage to talk about this season and discuss life after The Bachelor. Then Connor Obrochta and Jordan Kimball stop by to close out the show with a Bachelor BFF Dating Game.
Mar 13, 2019
#41 Fantasy Fence And The Women Yell All Ft. Jared Freid
Kay and Derek are joined by comedian Jared Freid of the Betches U Up? podcast to break down Monday night’s episode in Portugal and discuss all the fantasy suite action. Jared weighs in on Cassie’s surprising decision and predicts what will happen next. The fence jump finally happened and they discuss every detail, including Colton’s disappearance. What’s going to happen next? At 53:50 Derek and Kay recap Tuesday’s “Women Tell All” episode. Derek offers some behind-the-scenes insight into how these episodes are produced. They cover all the drama onstage, including Courtney and Demi’s showdown, the moment of Hannah B redemption and continued speculation about Colton’s virgin status.
Mar 06, 2019
#40 Hometowns: You Can’t Microwave A Relationship ft. Ben Higgins
Kay and Derek are back and talking about the Kardashian drama they accidentally started between Khloé and Mike Fleiss. Could she become the next Bachelorette after all? They also discuss the song Colton recorded with boy band O-Town. At 8:30 they get into this week’s hometown visits and talk about Colton asking each father for permission to marry his daughter. They speculate on where Chris Harrison has been the last two weeks and tell us who they’d pick to host the show if he ever leaves. At 46:20 Ben Higgins joins the show to talk about sliding into his new GF’s DMs, a recent burglary at his house, and his thoughts on who will win Colton’s season of The Bachelor.
Feb 26, 2019
#39 Where The Hell Is Chris Harrison?: An Investigation Ft. Brett Vergara
Kay is sick so Derek is joined by Brett Vergara to recap all things Bachelor Nation. At 8:30 they recap Colton and Tayshia’s ultra millenial date in Denver. At 18:20 they break down Caelynn’s one on one and whether or not she’s too perfectly prepped and polished for the show. At 26:15 they talk about Hanna B’s date and the awkwardness of Colton’s dad dressing like a millenial. At 34:05 they break down the 4 on 1 group date and whether or not it includes Derek’s favorite show exit of all time. Thanks to our sponsors  Sugarbear Hair- Go to for amazing hair and a healthier you!  Scentbird- Go to and use my code BETCHELOR for 50% off your first month. Daily Harvest- Go to and enter promo code BETCH to get three cups FREE in your first box!  
Feb 19, 2019
#38 Who Else Is Pissed Colton Hasn’t Jumped The Fence Yet? Ft. Fat Carrie Bradshaw
Kay and Derek are joined by Chris Burns (Fat Carrie Bradshaw) of the Betches podcast Everyone’s Gay. At 3:50 they talk about the first two girls sent home this week and cover Hannah G’s makeout-heavy one on one date. Does anyone really want to share a shower with another person, even if it’s Colton? At 13:30 they talk about the cringy boxing date where Demi got punched in the face, and discuss the call with her mom. At 24:40 they compare each of this season’s contestants to a different alcohol. They discuss Colton’s boring date with Kirpa and break down her non-answer to his engagement question. At 38:15 they talk about the rose ceremony and Colton freaking out after Katie told him to watch his back. They close out the show with some Paradise cast predictions and award their Cringe Harrison winners of the week.
Feb 12, 2019
#37 We Call BS On Heather’s ‘First Kiss’ Ft. Blake Horstmann
Kay and Derek return to keep you up to date with everything happening with Colton and the girls as they take Thailand. At 12:00 they talk about Derek and Heather’s over produced first kiss. At 16:20 they talk about the group date which was a fun scavenger hunt to find food in the jungles of Thailand. At 28:45 they are joined by Blake Horstmann to talk about eating during on camera dates, his predictions for this season and life after Bachelor. Thanks to our sponsors Sugarbear Hair- Go to for amazing hair and a healthier you! Thirdlove- Go to now to find your perfect-fitting bra and get 15% off your first purchase!
Feb 05, 2019
#36 Is Demi The New Corinne? Ft. Sean and Catherine Lowe
Kay and Derek are back and talking about The Bachelor going to Singapore. They talk about the high-pitched scream from Colton during his bungee jump. Is that the same sound he’ll make when he finally gets to the fantasy suite? At 17:00 they touch upon the serious conversation Caelynn had with Colton during their one-on-one date. Then they discuss the non-apology that took place between the two pageant girls. At 22:00 they dive into the showdown between Demi and Courtney. Was it fair to call Courtney the cancer of the house? At 24:40 they hand out their “Cringe Harrison Award” winners of the week and each make a bold prediction. Which host is right about who will be the next Bachelorette? At 32:00 Kay is joined by Sean and Catherine Lowe to talk about married life after falling in love on The Bachelor Season 17. They share their guilty pleasures and weigh in on the current Bachelor season.
Jan 29, 2019
#35 Trust No Pageant Girl Ft. Marie Roda
Kay is joined by Marie Roda of MTV’s The Challenge. At 7:10 they talk about the pageant girls Hannah B. and Caelynn turning on each other. They agree that the pirate themed date looked like a great time. The age shaming is at an all time high this season. At 13:40 they discuss the weird spanking moment from Demi. Do we love her or hate her? They talk about Elyse’s heartwarming date. Did everyone else cry too? At 21:30 they talk about the Bachelor’s Strongest Woman competition and break down the limo pull challenge. At 29:00 they recap the pool party drama. They conclude the show with a recap of who went home.   Betches has launched a new dating app called Ship! Check it out now at   Thanks to our sponsors!   Daily Harvest- Go to and enter promo code "Betch" to get three cups FREE in your first box!   Sugar Bear Hair- Go to for amazing hair and a healthier you!
Jan 22, 2019
#34 Can Someone Teach Hannah How To Make A F*cking Toast?
Kay and Derek are back and start with Colton’s weird intro from bed this week. At 3:30 they recap the group date featuring Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman. Are we the only ones disappointed by the “first time” stories? They agree that everyone overreacted to Demi picking up the rose. At 13:30 they talk about Hannah B’s painful one-on-one date and pick apart her toast. Just say “to us” and be done with it! At 26:15 they compliment Billy Eichner’s appearance and discuss his “first gay Bachelor” joke. Might Billy be onto something? At 37:35 Kay and Derek close out the show with the first ever “Cringe Harrison Award” of the week.
Jan 15, 2019
#33 Betchelor Nation Is Back PREMIERE (Recorded Live From Xfinity Reality Week In South Beach Miami)
Recorded live from Xfinity Reality Week in South Beach Miami, Kay and Derek are back with a live episode immediately following the “Bachelor” season 23 premiere. They agree that we didn’t need a full hour of watch-party footage to start the episode. At 4:45 they talk about some of the most memorable introductions. They discuss the best and worst virginity jokes of the episode. Kay predicts who will be the biggest villain this season. At 26:40 Jordan Kimball joins the show to share his initial thoughts on the cast and gives us his go-to pick up lines. At 35:20 Connor Obrochta stops by to talk about first date kisses, including the three that already took place at the first mixer. They play a round of “Red Flag or Dealbreaker” with Connor. At 41:30 Eric Bigger joins to give his list of the early frontrunners for the season. Eric plays a game of “Date Marry Disappear” featuring a list of former cast members.
Jan 08, 2019
BONUS EPISODE: Everything You Need to Know Before The Premiere
Kay and Derek are back with a bonus episode ahead of the premiere of Colton’s season. They catch you up on everything that happened in the offseason and have all the details you need to know about the cast of characters competing for Colton’s final rose.
Jan 02, 2019
#32 BIP FINALE: Jenna Ghosted Our Podcast Because She Did Some Super Shady Sh*t
Kay and Derek have finally reached the finish line of an exhausting season of ‘Paradise’. They start with the Jenna controversy. Jenna was supposed to come on this week’s show but completely ghosted them after the news of her texting a random man behind Jordan’s back hit the internet. In lieu of having Jenna in the studio, they recap the final episode of ‘Paradise” before the reunion. At 23:00 they talk about the Joe and Kendall break-up that shocked Kay. At 32:25 they mention the love triangle between Venmo John, Diggy and Olivia which ends with Olivia choosing John, sending Diggy home with the trumpet player he hired to win her heart. At 39:30 they talk about the reunion recapping who’s together and happy, and who is on their own.  
Sep 12, 2018
#31 Can Somebody Tell Us What 'All In' Means?
Kay and Derek are back and they’re not thrilled about Colton being named the new “Bachelor”. Derek is a bit skeptical because all he’s ever seen Colton do on camera is cry. At 4:45 Derek reveals that he received a DM from a listener informing him that Leo is throwing hands all over Twitter calling former “Bachelor” contestants beta males after his royal rumble on “BIP”. At 12:55 they talk about the Colton and Tia breakup. Kay thinks that for someone who can’t get his emotions together, Colton said goodbye to Tia pretty easily. At 26:30 they talk about the wild rose ceremony where a lot of the ladies were on the chopping block. At 31:30 they talk about Joe and Kendall’s terrible first date….watching Tanner and Jade’s kids? This episode is brought to you by Leesa. Don’t miss Leesa’s limited time Labor Day Sale! Extended now through September 13: Get up to $235 off and free shipping on the Leesa mattress at and enter promo code Betchelor at checkout.
Sep 05, 2018
#30 Annalise: The Stage 5 Clinger
Kay and Derek are back for another “Bachelor In Paradise” marathon. With so much action they’re getting a little exhausted. Kay thinks Connor is pretty hot but Derek thinks he’s doing a “Mr. Cool” routine like Chris. Derek also can’t understand why these contestants keep lying to the audience. It’s almost as if the contestants keep forgetting the audience sees everything they’re doing. At 21:00 they discuss Leo who was a fan favorite during Becca’s season, but has turned cringe worthy, intimidating, heel in paradise. At 28:30 they discuss Benoit who cannot stop crying. Has he become the new Annalise? At 32:28 they discuss Colton’s odd gesture to bring Tia….hotdogs? This episode is brought to you by Leesa. Don’t miss Leesa’s limited time Labor Day Sale: Get up to $235 off and free shipping on the Leesa mattress at
Aug 29, 2018
#29 WTF Is Up With All The Ass Blurring?
Kay and Derek are back with another 2 episode “Bachelor in Paradise” recap. They agree that Chris, Tia and Krystal are caught in the love triangle from hell. Derek thinks that Chris is trying to look like “Mr. Smooth” but isn’t fooling anyone. At 7:10 Derek explains that paradise is, in fact, actually smelly because no one there can ever stop sweating. At 11:30 they talk about how Venmo John has made himself the clear cut prize on this edition of ‘Paradise’. At 19:50 they talk about David’s continuous attempts to troll and sabotage Jordan. Kay thinks that Jordan’s intensity is starting to freak out all of the women in paradise. At 25:10 they talk about the triumph entrance of Leo who is an immediate favorite for all the ladies...except for Kay. Kay has changed her tune on Leo who she liked during Becca’s season but now thinks is a total jerk. This episode is presented by Leesa. Go to or use the promo code BETCHELOR at checkout to receive $165 off your purchase of a mattress, or $235 off your purchase of a sapira.
Aug 22, 2018
#28 Kevin Is Definitely A Mouth Breather
Kay and Derek are back and they are filled to the brim with “Bachelor In Paradise” gossip. At 6:40 they talk about David and how he’s back to his old tricks, bad mouthing Jordan by spreading rumors that he is only here to “settle”. At 12:15 they discuss Colton and the mess that he’s made for himself in paradise by leading Tia on. Kay says you can see Colton hit his breaking point when Becca finally shows up and surprises everyone. At 17:00 they discuss the rose ceremony and its twists and turns. Tia gives her rose to Chris? Bibiana gives a rose to Colton?! At 23:40 they play a very special ‘Paradise’ edition of Shoot, Fu*k, Marry.
Aug 15, 2018
#27 Goodbye Blake, Hello Paradise
Kay and Derek are back with 5 hours of Bachelor Television rolled into one action packed podcast. They discuss the “Bachelorette” finale and it’s few surprises. At 6:10 Derek explains that Blake got screwed by being the second guy to meet Becca’s family. At 17:00 they discuss ABC’s attempt to address Garrett’s love for racist memes and whether or not his apology was sincere. At 20:00 they move into “Bachelor In Paradise” and their first impressions of the cast. At 29:00 Derek spills the tea on what happened during his season of ‘Paradise’. Who’s bunk bed did he steal? Who ruined the most microphones? Why is everyone wearing puka shells?
Aug 08, 2018
#26 Men Tell All: A.K.A. Talk A Lot Of Sh*t Ft. Jordan Kimball
Kay and Derek are joined by everyone’s favorite male model, Jordan Kimball, to discuss the “Men Tell All”. At 2:15, Jordan explains where he gets his analogies from and how he plans to elevate them to a “biblical” level in the future. At 4:20, they mention that Lincoln is missing from the episode and Jordan spills some tea about what it was like to bunk with him. At 8:00, Derek can’t understand why Colton called out Jordan on the Tell All. Jordan doesn’t seem to care, he’s just hoping that Colton can embrace being a virgin and be comfortable in his own skin. At 15:31, Kay says she’s disappointed with this year’s glow ups, which gives Jordan an opportunity to defend his glow up strategy. At 27:00, Kay and Derek confess their love for Joe The Grocer and Jordan explains that he and Joe bro out extremely hard in the upcoming “Bachelor in Paradise”.
Jul 31, 2018
#25 Fantasy Suites: Where Everyone Hooks Up In The Same Bed
Betches gives a rose to your new hosts of The Betchelor, Kay Brown and Derek Peth! Kay and Derek sink their teeth into Tour Guide Becca’s Thailand adventure with the boys. At 7:33, they talk about Becca ruining this week's episode by saying she’s in love with Blake and Garrett, but only falling in love with Jason….bye Jason! Derek explains that most of these contestants are only with the Bachelor/Bachelorette for 15 hours before they get engaged. At 13:33, Kay can’t get over how obsessed Blake is over Becca. Blake is stuttering, sweating and twitching like a Becca addict. At 17:30, they talk about Becca’s cricket dinner with Jason which turns out to be his last meal. At 24:00, Derek explains his theory that Jason is positioning himself to be the next Bachelor. At 25:50, they talk about Becca going river rafting with boring Garrett. At 29:14, Derek speaks about his very public breakup with Taylor and gives the listeners some breakup advice of his own.
Jul 24, 2018
#24 Blake's Mom Needs a Haircut
This week Aleen and Jordana are joined by the host of 1010 WINS “The Trend”, Rebecca Granet. It’s Hometown Date Week and there’s a lot to discuss. Is Becca’s stylist doing a bad job? Rebecca gives Garrett the award for biggest letdown of the season. Despite being from Buffalo, they agree that Jason’s stock is rising, while Blake’s mom makes him sound like a loser. At 28:50, it’s time for Colton’s sex ed class with Chris Harrison. Finally, at 34:00, they discuss who the next Bachelor might be.
Jul 17, 2018
#23 Becca Has No Good Options
Aleen says this was a good episode but nothing really happened at all. They talk about Garrett and his love for racist memes - Becca still doesn't know. They move onto Colton and how he's a virgin that can't drive. Isn't it cruel that they took him on a boat making sexual conk puns? Aleen finds him boyish. Sami is confused at why sports and football would preclude him from having sex. They theorize that he's gay because guys pretty much only want to have sex. So what's the deal, Colton? This is not to say all of the other guys aren't flawed as they definitely are. Blake, Colorado is not the state with the most sunshine. Jason has nothing to say. All in all, Becca got stuck with a bad lot. Discussing Garrett's beliefs, they talk about the male tendency to reduce a woman's action to a thing women in general do. They wrap up making predictions about the end of the season.
Jul 10, 2018
#22 Is Lincoln The Dorit of Bachelor Nation? Ft. Alexis Waters
Jordana and Aleen are joined by Alexis Waters to talk about this and past seasons of the Bachelor. She talks about listing her job as "Aspiring dolphin trainer", how she had to go with a shark costume, and mentions that she wouldn't "boom" anyone on this season. They move onto this season and agree that Jason is the frontrunner. Nobody likes Chris. Jordana thinks he seems like an angry Ben Stiller and/or Eddie, the crazy roommate from friends. Lincoln got sent home, but who cares? Sometimes Bachelorettes have really good style and other times their name is Becca. They wrap up talking about Scallops Girl.
Jul 03, 2018
#21 Jordan is a Real Life Derek Zoolander
Sami and Jordana have gotten complaints that they don't actually like the show, but they can't help it if it's objectively bad. They talk about Vegas - is it the perfect place to fall in love or the exact opposite? Sami views Becca's approval of Colton as obligatory. After, they move onto the Wayne Newton portion of the episode. Hopefully, one day we can live in a world where contestants don't have to write songs (or Google Wayne Newton). They talk about Jordan and his preoccupation with his skin care, hair care, and the gym. At 22:39, they play some games including "Shoot, fuck, marry" Jordan, Chris and David. And don't miss: Would you rather have sex with Wayne Newton or Chicken?
Jun 26, 2018
#20 There Was Nothing Better Than Watching Jean Blanc Spiral
Aleen sits down with Tyler Gilden to discuss this season of the Bachelor. They talk about Garrett (and his questionable likes on Instagram). After they move onto to group dates. Then they talk about Jean Blanc’s massive downward spiral. Finally, they move onto Becca’s blah date with Wills. Don’t miss ample roasting of David. Like, who falls off a bed?
Jun 19, 2018
#19 We Wish We Had Seen Chicken Fall Off The Bunk Bed
Aleen debuts on the Betchelor for this season of Bachelorette. She's mainly relieved that no one is saying, “Let’s do the damn thing." She and Jordana discuss Jordan, who may be good looking, but how often does he get a SECOND date? Everyone on the show is officially a climber. The Colton and Tia drama is ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as the faceplant situation with Chicken. Chris talks like a robot. They wrap up going over Becca's likely top 4 and talking shit about Arie.
Jun 12, 2018
#18 Behind the Scenes Tell All Feat. Corinne Olympios
Sami and Jordana are joined by Bachelor favorite Corinne Olympios to talk about this season and more. Regarding last night: the group dates are cheesy and the guys are overly dramatic. It all feels like sleep-away camp. And the forced meet ups with former contestants are way too much. They also talk about Corinne’s beef with Taylor and how the producers are milking stories just a bit too much (could it be the lack of breakout talent?). If you’ve ever wanted to know who Corinne was friends with and who she was ready to back stab at a moment’s notice, it’s a must-listen.
Jun 05, 2018
#17 Is There a Giant Group Chat When The Bachelor Ends? Feat. Andi Dorfman
Sami and Jordana sit down with former Bachelorette Andi Dorfman to kick off Becca’s season. They discuss what it’s like to be the lead, and how life changes after the show ends and you have a million new insta followers. They touch on Ashley and Jared’s new relationship, Andi’s old relationships, the pros and cons of going on the show, and if the guys are really getting worse every season or it just seems that way. What’s it really like on the first night? How do you remember everyone’s names? Why does it seem like the contestants only hang out with each other after the season ends? These answers and more on this new episode of the Betchelor.
May 29, 2018
#16 After the Final Rose with Bekah M, Kendall, and Amy Kaufman
Jordana and Sami meet with Bekah M. and Kendall. They talk sororites, eating on location during the Bachelor, and Kendall's love for dead animals. Bekah is wearing the circular earrings that Arie put his fingers through. After, they interview the author of Bachelor Nation who gives them a look behind the scenes of this season (and who can't stand Arie as much as the rest of us).
Mar 08, 2018
#15 Arie Deserves Borin' Lauren
Jordana and Aleen discuss the season finale of The Bachelor. Arie and Becca's awkward, silence-ridden end was emphatically undramatic. Aleen felt nothing. Arie's choosing of Lauren proves that exactly what everyone predicted: Arie just wants a 'hot dumb blonde bitch.' The most she ever opened up was her saying, "I want our dogs to meet." Arie's sole criteria appears to be that Lauren is very hot, which she is, but c'mon. Needless to say, they spend the whole episode criticizing Arie because as it turns out, his creepy hands were one of his better traits. Enjoy life with borin' Lauren, Arie- though we hope she turns you down.
Mar 06, 2018
#14 Is It Still a Fantasy Suite if Arie's In It?
Sami and Aleen discuss the Women Tell All and Fantasy Suites episodes, since rebranded as the “Romantic Overnight Date” episode. Sami quips that the first thing that stood about the Women Tell All episode is that the show was much better without Arie. Aleen then discusses a Betches controversy; Arie blocked @betchesluvthis on Twitter, so the drama is real.
Feb 27, 2018
#13 We Are Living in a Bachelor Totalitarian State
Jordana and Sami discuss the massive amount of Bachelor programming (six hours a week!). Jordana mentions that picking the person to vote off on the Bachelor Winter Games was a bit mean-spirited. Then they talk about the role of race, with several pointed critiques. After, they go over this week’s episode. Arie visits several of the contestants hometowns, and let’s just say: they’re weren’t all for him.
Feb 20, 2018
#12 Arie Likes Girls That Aren’t Into Him With Taylor Nolan
Jordana and Aleen are joined by Taylor Nolan from the next season of the Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise. She’s engaged to Derek. She talks about their relationship and how they met in June and were engaged about two months later. She also expresses how much crazy action was taken out of the Bachelor, including Derek licking her armpit. Taylor also talks about her sobriety and how crazy things could get on location (including Derek’s first night where he got totes blackout). After, they move on to how Arie is cute, but weird nonetheless.
Feb 13, 2018
#11 Why Does Arie Hate Smart Women?
The contestants head to Paris in a highly-sponsored boat, everyone has intimacy issues, and Arie's love of under-30 women is called out once again, all on this week's episode of the Betchelor. As much as it hurts to think about, Lauren B.'s and Arie's awkward date must be discussed. Is Krystal's voice the only sane thing left? Actually, no... and there goes Jordana's bracket.
Feb 06, 2018
#10 How Awkward is Arie's Entire Body!?
Sami and Aleen talk about this week’s ep of the Bachelor. The gang heads to Ft. Lauderdale, but the contestants don’t seem to realize that those yachts aren’t Arie’s. As Sami puts it, “It’s just a show. When it’s your life, you’ll be going into debt with Arie as he runs out of Instagram endorsements.” The gentle Ft. Lauderdale breeze can’t soothe that kind of brutality. Sami and Aleen also agree they wouldn’t give up caring for their boyfriend’s niece or their Boston Terrier to be on the Bachelor.
Jan 30, 2018
#9 Krystal Speaks in Inspirational Instagram Captions
Sami and Aleen cover this week’s episode of The Bachelor. Krystal’s voice is again a target, but her tendency to give speeches consisting of empty inspirational quotes shows that her weird voice is actually one of her better traits. She has issues. Aleen can’t stop cringing when Arie makes his moves, particularly on a certain 22-year-old. They conclude that Bekah actually has more maturity and poise than just about everyone, especially Arie. They wrap things up talking about glam-shaming, the controversial practice of calling people out for being too hot.
Jan 23, 2018
#8 Arie Just Eliminated Everyone Over 30
This week on The Betchelor, Jordana and Aleen discuss the fact that Arie thinks with his penis and has eliminated all of the older contestants. They talk about his weird kissing with Bekah M during the wrestling date and how young she is, the awkward Napa date with Lauren S., and Annaliese’s mental breakdown. They play "Shoot, BFF, Party With" with Bibiana, Krystal, and Annaliese and talk about how old is too old to go on The Bachelor.
Jan 16, 2018
#7 Krystal’s Voice is a Combo of a Porn Star and a Fairy Princess
On this week’s episode of The Betchelor, Jordana and Aleen discuss Krystal’s annoying voice and creepy hometown date. They talk about Arie pretty woman-ing Bekah M, Annaliese’s absurd bumper car freak-out, and the showdown between Bibiana and Krystal. Finally, they play 'Shoot, BFF, Party With' with Siene, Bibiana, and Chelsea and discuss which of the awkward first dates they’d prefer in real life.
Jan 09, 2018
#6 Everyone on this Season is an Instagram Model In Training
On their premiere episode for this season, Samantha and Jordana discuss why Arie is a skeevy bachelor. They name their top 5 moments from this episode and discuss this week’s contestants at length. They play Shoot Fuck Marry with Arie, Nick Viall, and DeMario Jackson and discuss how much they’d have to be paid to have ABC air their wedding on national television.
Jan 02, 2018
#5 Someone Get Dean A Therapist ASAP
The Betches discuss thew sea on finale of Bachelor in Paradise, the new Bachelor Arie, and play shoot fuck marry with ridiculous scenarios
Sep 12, 2017
#4 And The Next Bachelor Is..
The Betches discuss the remaining couples on Bachelor in Paradise, the fact that Dean is not going to be the next Bachelor, our predictions for who it will be, and answer a listener email about meeting Daniel in person. We play would you rather about Taylor and Ben and Scallops and Jack Stone and end with a round of Shoot Fuck Marry
Sep 06, 2017
#3 The Three Eyed Raven
We break down all the relationships, the Corinne tell all, and play games with Bachelor contestants
Aug 30, 2017
#2 Everybody Loves Raven
Topics include Dean's f*ckboy behavior, Lacey's thirst, Evan and Carly's "journey to love", the DeMario/Corinne sexual assault scandal, and how Raven is the hero of the season. And we obviously play Bachelor edition games
Aug 23, 2017
#1 The Best Bachelor In Paradise Podcast You’ll Ever Listen To
The Betches discuss the Bachelor in Paradise scandal and how ABC handled it. They discuss Carly & Evan’s wedding and break down the blossoming couples on the show so far. Finally, the play Shoot Fuck Marry using absurd BiP contestants.
Aug 16, 2017