The Couples Therapist Couch

By Shane Birkel

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Description

The Couples Therapist Couch is a podcast by licensed marriage and family therapist, Shane Birkel. The show provides education, support, and connection for Couples Therapists, Marriage Counselors, and Relationship Coaches. Each week Shane interviews an expert in the field of Couples Therapy to explore all about the world of relationships and how to be an amazing therapist.

Episode Date
134: Modern Couples Therapy with Jourdan Virginia Blue
01:05:59

The episode this week is with Jourdan Virginia Blue. She talks all about the innovative approach to working with couples that she has created. Secret Love Hacks is a 12 week couples therapy approach that any therapist can use with their couples. All the sessions are direct, fast paced, easy to teach and easy to apply.

Find out more at https://moderncouplestherapist.com/

Jourdan Virginia Blue is a full-time couples therapist in Nashville, TN. She leads couples workshops annually, offers all day couples intensive sessions on the weekends, is the creator of a relationship focused podcast, and is the expert in her area for couples work in her private practice!

Find out more at https://jourdanvirginia.com/book

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Jul 07, 2020
133: Peggy Kleinplatz on Magnificent Sex
45:26

Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz is a Professor in the Faculty of Medicine and Director of Sex and Couples Therapy at the University of Ottawa, Canada. She was awarded the Prix d’Excellence in 2000 for her teaching of Human Sexuality. She is a Certified Sex Therapist and Educator. She is Director of the Optimal Sexual Experiences Research Team of the University of Ottawa and has a particular interest in sexual health in the elderly, disabled and marginalized populations.

Get a copy of the new book, Magnificent Sex

Please see optimalsexualexperiences.com

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to Feeding America.

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Jun 30, 2020
132: Racialized Trauma with James Hawkins
47:13

Show notes to come...

Jun 24, 2020
131: Relationship Skills on the Dating Scene with Marni Feuerman
48:56

In the episode today, Dr. Marni Feuerman talks about why couples therapists make the best individual therapists. We discuss how important relationships are in everyone's lives even those who are single. We also talk about using dating apps, being a respectful dater, and what the dating scene looks like these days.

Dr. Marni Feuerman is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in South Florida. She is a nationally recognized relationship and marriage expert with specialized training in couples' therapy.

Dr. Marni is a frequently quoted expert in the media and recently released a self-help book for women who struggle with repeated unhealthy relationship patterns titled, Ghosted & Breadcrumbed: Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart about Healthy Relationships. Visit her official author website at DrMarniOnline.com.

This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.  Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to Feeding America.

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code COUCH to get an additional 10% off.  They have a number of free podcast CE courses, too, including a CE interview with Dr. Julie Gottman.  Check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

 

Jun 16, 2020
130: Joe Kort on When the Other Woman is a Man
45:48

In this episode, Dr. Joe Kort talks about when a straight spouse finds out that her husband has been with other men. He talks about the problems with defining acting out sexual behaviors as sex addiction as well as how to work with people in a sex positive way.

Joe is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist & Supervisor of Sex Therapy. He is the author of several books, lecturer, and facilitator of workshops for therapists. He is also the Director of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health. Find out more at www.JoeKort.com.

Find him on twitter @drjoekort

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here to find out more about the online Men's Group facilitated by Shane Birkel. 

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

 

May 26, 2020
129: Relational Life Therapy with Shane Birkel
53:20

This episode is a brief summary of some of how Relational Life Therapy is different from other models of couples therapy. I am a certified RLT therapist and have been mentored by Terry Real. I talk all about shame, grandiosity, patriarchy, self-esteem, boundaries, and leverage.

Terry Real is the creator of Relational Life Therapy. You can find out more about him at terryreal.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here to find out more about the online Men's Group facilitated by Shane Birkel. 

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

 

May 19, 2020
128: Race in Couples Therapy with Corey Yeager and Kirsten Lind Seal
54:24

The episode this week was with two guests, Dr. Corey Yeager and Dr. Kirsten Lind Seal. They discuss the reality of race and privilege in therapy. At one point Corey said, there is no such thing as cultural competence. That implies arrival. What is more appropriate is the idea of cultural understanding and responsiveness. As human beings we will always be struggling with this and part of the work is getting comfortable with the struggle. 

Dr. Corey Yeager is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, researcher, activist, and the life coach/psychotherapist for the Detroit Pistons. 

Find him on instagram and twitter @drcoreyyeager

Dr. Kirsten Lind Seal is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many publications, training experience and appearances in the media.

Find out more about Kirsten Lind Seal at kirstenlindseal.com

You can find both of them on the show, Relationship Reboot, WCCO TV (CBS)

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here to find out more about the online Men's Group facilitated by Shane Birkel. 

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

 

May 12, 2020
127: Implementing the EFT Model with James Hawkins
51:17

In this episode, Dr. James Hawkins and I explore therapist's process of growing their ability to implement the EFT model specifically. We also talked a lot about self of therapist in the room and how we have the ability to have a big impact on society.

Dr. James Hawkins is an Emotionally Focused Therapist and trainer. You can find out more about him at dochawklpc.com and @dochawklpc on social media. He has recently started 2 podcasts called the Leading Edge and the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

May 05, 2020
126: Emily Nagoski on Sex and Science
55:26

Show notes to come...

Apr 28, 2020
125: Continuing to Cope During the Quarantine with Jen Silacci
35:00

The quarantine continues for much of the world and we are all doing what we can to cope. As therapists, we have scrambled to transition to online therapy, experienced huge changes in our caseloads and are dealing with the unpredictability of what's next.

In this episode Jen Silacci talks about how we can cope with these difficult times. She describes many different strategies we can use to make sure we are taking care of ourselves as therapists. She also talks about the new nonprofit she started called coronavirusonlinetherapy.org.

Find out more at coronavirusonlinetherapy.org

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

Apr 21, 2020
124: Dealing with the Emotions of Online Therapy with Amber Lyda
45:36

These times during the Coronavirus Pandemic have been extremely stressful on many different levels. As we all switch over to online therapy, it is important to be mindful of the emotional this is taking on us and think about how we can be making sure to take good care of ourselves.

Dr. Amber Lyda has been doing online therapy for awhile now and has a facebook group called the Online Therapists Group. You can join for free to have access to lots of resources and support for your therapy practice online.

Find out more about Amber at amberlyda.com.

Join the Online Therapists Group on facebook.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

Apr 14, 2020
123: David Wexler on Counseling in the #Metoo Era
53:07

Because of the history of power and influence in our world, we are socialized in ways that impact our relationships in a huge way. If we aren't aware of these realities, we might behave in inappropriate or boundary violating ways that are offensive to the people we care about the most.

Dr. David Wexler talks about this topic and what we can do to live in a way that is more relational for everyone. David Wexler has been teaching and writing about relationships and men's issues for decades. He is currently working on a new book about Counseling in the #Metoo Era.

Find out more about David at davidwexlerphd.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

Apr 07, 2020
122: Working with Infidelity and the Developmental Model with Kim Gist Miller
48:15

In this episode with Kimberly Gist Miller we talk about using the Developmental Model in working with Affairs. Many of the clients we work with have a lot of trauma and it is so important to know that history and to know how to work with it.

Kimberly Gist Miller is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Frisco, Texas, outside of Dallas. She specializes in working with couples, relationships, and infidelity. She is also a trainer and speaker on different aspects of relationships and for therapists.

You can find her at myfriscocounselor.com

and a_beautiful_marriage on instagram

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

Mar 31, 2020
121: Keeping the Hope In a Pandemic with Shane Birkel
53:22

This episode is a recording of a webinar I did recently with the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook group. We talk about the implications of this time during the coronavirus pandemic. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

Mar 24, 2020
120: Moving Your Couples Therapy Practice Online with Clay Cockrell
42:46

In the last few days we are seeing changes in our whole society that are bigger and happening more quickly than anything else in decades. At some point in the coming weeks, most of us will have to consider seeing clients online as restrictions continue because of the Coronavirus. 

This is a special episode with Clay Cockrell which specifically addresses the issue of moving your Couples Therapy practice online. It is a particularly helpful conversation for those who haven't practiced online before.

Clay has a podcast called The Online Counseling Podcast and an Online Counseling Directory. These can be found at onlinecounseling.com.

Clay also has a new podcast called Finding Therapy which can be found at these social media handles:

https://www.facebook.com/findingtherapy

https://www.instagram.com/findingtherapypodcast/

https://twitter.com/FindingTherapy (@findingtherapy)

Podcast: https://www.onlinecounselling.com/finding_therapy/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

Mar 18, 2020
119: 5 Things Couples Therapists Should Know from a Sex Therapist with Martha Kauppi
49:55

Most Couples Therapists understand the importance of bringing sex into the conversation in couples therapy. Unfortunately, most feel unprepared to know what questions to ask, how to make clients feel comfortable, and what to do with the information once it is part of the conversation. In this episode, Sex Therapist, Martha Kauppi and I talk all about how to do that.

Martha Kauppi has a lifelong career in sexual health, counseling, and creative education. She has been a midwife, an artist, and is currently a certified sex therapist. She is the founder of The Institute for Relational Intimacy which is committed to competence working with a full array of sex issues, including sexual health concerns, alternative sexualities, problematic sexual behavior, and LGBTQAI+ related concerns.

Check out Martha's website at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

Martha Kauppi, surveyed over a hundred therapists about their toughest cases related to sexuality. She found that the vast majority of these tough cases revolved around desire discrepancy.
Guided by these responses, Martha crafted an in-depth article series designed to help therapists work with their toughest desire discrepancy cases. Now she’s sharing it, at no charge. The five-part series will show you how to:
● Untangle the relationship between menopause and desire discrepancy
● Help higher-desire partners cope, despite frustration and resentment
● Rekindle the spark in relationships gone flat
● Break the toxic cycle of internal or external pressure that further decreases desire
● Help higher-desire female partners in heterosexual relationships deal with the shame and
embarrassment of not matching gender expectations
Get the complimentary article series delivered direct to your inbox by signing up here.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

Mar 10, 2020
118: Running on Empty with Jonice Webb
38:15

We often see clients in our offices who are struggling with things like a lack of fulfillment, a deep sense that something isn't right with me, a feeling of disconnection, and a lack of emotional intelligence. It can be hard to know how to work with these clients and help them make connections about why they might be feeling these things.

In this episode, Dr. Jonice Webb sheds light on this issue and discusses how prevalent the reality of Childhood Emotional Neglect is in our society and the impact it has on people's lives and relationships. 

Dr. Jonice Webb is a recognized psychologist expert with over 25 years of experience, and the author of the best-selling books Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents & Your Children.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

Mar 03, 2020
117: Where Does Masturbation Fit Into a Couple's Sex Life with Ari Tuckman
55:06

How is masturbation being used in the couple--as a path of least resistance to avoid confronting sexual/relational issues or as an add-on to an otherwise good shared sex life? How can couples balance the right to self-pleasure against the right to a sexually available partner? Does masturbation use up sexual interest--or kindle it? Does it matter whether external erotic material is used (porn, erotica, etc)?

Dr. Ari Tuckman discusses these, and many other topics in the latest episode of the The Couples Therapist Couch.

Ari is an expert at working with ADHD, relationships and is also a sex therapist. He has written 4 books and has a podcast about ADHD called More Attention, Less Deficit.

Books:

  • ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship (August 2019)
  • Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook
  • More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD
  • Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD: A Practical, Easy-to-Use Guide for Clinicians

Find out more at adultadhdbook.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

Feb 25, 2020
116: Attuning to the Attachment Dilemma with Ryan Rana
47:41

One of the most difficult thing we do as couples therapists is to get both members of a couple to feel like we get them and we want what is best for them. In this episode, EFT trainer and supervisor, Ryan Rana, walks us through the process of attuning to a client's deepest pain or attachment dilemma. Once we show them that we "get it," they will be much more hopeful about the work in couples therapy.

Ryan Rana, PhD, LMFT, LPC is an ICEEFT certified EFT Trainer, Supervisor and Therapist. He is the current President and Founder of the Arkansas EFT Center. He and his wife, Anne, founded The Joshua Center where he currently practices and acts as the Executive Director. Ryan is a sought after public speaker. Ryan also supervises and consults with clinicians and leaders in Arkansas and around the world in online platforms. In his 21 year career he has spoken to groups on over 1,000 occasions.

Find out more at ryanrana.com and arkansaseft.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

Feb 18, 2020
115: Janina Fisher on Working with Trauma in Couples Therapy
44:50

Show notes to come...

Feb 11, 2020
114: Alexandra Solomon on Taking Sexy Back
48:21

Women are expected to be sexy, but not sexual. We’re bombarded with conflicting, shame-inducing, and disempowering messages about sex, instead of being encouraged to connect with our true sexual selves. Sexy gets reduced to a performance, leaving us with little to no space to reckon with the complexities of sexuality.

In a culture intent on telling you who and how to be, standing in your truth is revolutionary. (from the Amazon book description for Taking Sexy Back)

Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon is a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University and a licensed clinical psychologist. She is the author of the book Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want (New Harbinger, 2017).

Her second book, about sexual self-awareness, Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationship You Want, was published in February 2020. Dr. Solomon maintains a psychotherapy practice for individual adults and couples, teaches and trains marriage and family therapy graduate students, and teaches the internationally renowned undergraduate course, “Building Loving and Lasting Relationships: Marriage 101.”

Find out more at dralexandrasolomon.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

Feb 04, 2020
113: Shane Birkel on the Impact of Childhood Neglect on Relationships
58:26

We often have clients who are shut down emotionally and don't understand why. It is difficult for them to access their emotions. Most of the time this is due to living in a family where emotional expression either wasn't modeled or encouraged, or  where it was actively shut down. This emotional neglect is abusive and shaming to children, but most people think that it was just "normal" which can be part of what makes it so difficult to work with.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Jan 28, 2020
112: Dr. Pat Love on The 5 Forces Destroying Your Relationship that You Probably Never Heard Of
52:49

Show notes to come...

Jan 21, 2020
111: Helen Fisher on The Anatomy of Love
58:14

Show notes to come...

Jan 14, 2020
110: Alexandra Katehakis on Sex Addiction and Healthy Sex - (rerun)
47:06

When looking at sexual betrayal, many people in our society simplify it down to the fact that the betrayer is bad, wrong, and should be cut off. This leaves out the opportunity of a much more complex way of viewing these situations. To think about this with a more open mind is not to say that there is no accountability on the part of the betrayer, but to hold them accountable while at the same time bringing understanding to them as a person.

In this conversation with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis we talk all about healthy sex, sex addiction, love addiction, and how to work with couples facing these issues. 

Alexandra Katehakis, PhD is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles and the author of several books which I will list below with links. She is an LMFT and clinical supervisor at the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists and a clinical supervisor and member of the teaching faculty for the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), a national certifying body for sex addiction therapists. She is a prominent writer and expert panelist at sexuality conferences and public events.

Check out Alex's website at centerforhealthysex.com

Books: 

Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction

Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment

co-author of the award-winning daily meditation book, Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence

and contributing author of the award-winning clinical textbook Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts

and her brand new workbook: Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

 

Jan 07, 2020
109: Janis Abrahms Spring on Healing After an Affair - (rerun)
52:06

How do unfaithful partners typically respond differently than hurt partners after an affair? What constitutes an affair - intercourse? Instant messaging? Flirting? How can unfaithful partners take responsibility for the damage they caused and earn forgiveness? 

These are just a few of the many questions that leave couples feeling confused about what to do after there has been an affair. Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD has beautifully answered these questions in her book, After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful. She normalizes and reassures couples about what they are going through in a way that gives them hope.

That book has been incredibly successful and has sold over 500,000 copies. In addition to that she has written two other books which are linked below. She has been in practice for over 40 years in Westport, Connecticut. 

Check out Dr. Spring's website at janisaspring.com

Books

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Dec 31, 2019
108: Laura Long on Marketing, Niching, Websites
01:03:26

Show notes to come...

Dec 24, 2019
107: Removing Blocks to Success with Kine Corder
59:35

show notes to come...

Dec 17, 2019
106: Sue Johnson on Emotionally Focused Therapy
01:07:38

In this episode, Dr. Sue Johnson talks about the beginning of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and the lack of options for Couples Therapists to get training at the time. 

Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, popular presenter and speaker and a leading innovator in the field of couple therapy and adult attachment.

Sue is the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Couples and Family Therapy (EFT), which has demonstrated its effectiveness in over 30 years of peer-reviewed clinical research. She is founding Director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT).

Find out more about Sue at drsuejohnson.com

Find out more about EFT trainings at iceeft.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Dec 10, 2019
105: Ellyn Bader on The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy - (Rerun)
50:17

This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience. 

Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate. They were pioneers in the field of couples therapy at the time and have since educated numerous therapists on how to work effectively with couples.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Dec 03, 2019
104: Gottman and RLT Comparison with Zach Brittle
56:32

Show notes to come...

Nov 26, 2019
103: When HE Has a Higher Sex Drive than SHE with Susan Bratton
51:48

Show notes to come...

Nov 19, 2019
102: Couples Intensive Retreats with Kerry Lusignan
55:13

Show notes to come...

Nov 12, 2019
101: How to Help Your Partner Heal from an Affair with Linda MacDonald
50:57

One of the most difficult situations that couples face is when there has been an affair and they are trying to heal. Every one of these situations is unique and different, but there are some general themes that tend to come up a lot. When partners can learn the skills and are willing to work at it, the recovery can go much more smoothly.

These skills are exactly what Linda MacDonald teaches partners in her book, How to Help Your Partner Heal from an Affair. It is also the topic of our conversation in this episode of the podcast.

Linda J. MacDonald, MS, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist with over 30 years' experience specializing in helping couples and individuals heal from infidelity. She graduated from Seattle Pacific University in 1988 with a Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. She has been in private practice since 1987 and currently works at The Shepherd's Center in the Pacific Northwest.

She felt compelled to write "How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair" due to the lack of material that offered practical steps for unfaithful spouses who want to salvage their marriages after an affair. 

Find out more about Linda here: lindajmacdonald.com

Purchase the book on Amazon: How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Nov 05, 2019
100: Harville Hendrix on Imago Therapy - (rerun)
56:36

Show notes to come...

Oct 22, 2019
099: The Importance of Conflict for Couples with CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke
47:55

Show notes to come...

Oct 15, 2019
098: Neurodiverse Couples with Grace Myhill
51:14

Show notes to come...

Oct 01, 2019
097: Female Desire with Lisa Taddeo
53:05

In the history of our society there has been a huge amount of shame for women about their own desires. There is still a pervasive problem of not talking about what is going on and what people really want. Because no one is talking about it, no one feels accepted or validated about their desire. Author, Lisa Taddeo, breaks this silence in her book Three Women.

Lisa is a #1 New York Times bestselling author and journalist and two-time recipient of the Pushcart Prize for her short stories. She has been published numerous time and has been awarded the William Holodnok Fiction Prize and the Florence Engel Randall Award in fiction.

Check out Lisa Taddeo on Instagram and Twitter. Here is a link to her book, Three Women.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

Sep 24, 2019
096: Elliott Connie on Solution Focused Brief Therapy
52:56

In this episode about Solution Focused Brief Therapy, Elliot Connie talks about some amazing strategies to help couples achieve great results in their relationships. He goes into details about how much of psychotherapy is all wrong, asking the right questions, and letting the client take the lead. He describes how asking people what they want in a skillful way and staying with it, requires them to move into deeper levels of vulnerability.

Elliott Connie is a therapist, author, speaker, and educator in Solution Focused Brief Therapy. He has written several books on the topic and travels the world teaching other therapists. He founded The Solution Focused University where he hosts events, travels the world lecturing and often release free learning materials to help learners master this approach and use it in their work, even with the most challenging clinical situations.

Find out more about his books, trainings, and videos at his website here: elliottconnie.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

Sep 17, 2019
095: How to Be a Functional Adult with Jan Bergstrom
47:50

In this episode with Jan Bergstrom, we go into depth about the 5 Core Practices of a Healthy Life. This work was inspired by Pia Mellody and has become the foundation for many models of therapy. We talk about doing inner child work, feelings reduction work, and standing in your truth. We also touch on the importance of self-esteem and boundaries.

Jan is the co-founder of the Healing Our Core Issues Institute. She is the author of the new book, Gifts From a Challenging Childhood. She has trained with Pia Mellody, Peter Levine, John Kabat Zinn, Sue Johnson, and Terry Real.

For more information on trainings and workshops go to healingourcoreissuesinstitute.com.

Get Jan's book, Gifts From a Challenging Childhood

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

 

Sep 10, 2019
094: ADHD and Couples Therapy with Ari Tuckman
53:01

Show notes to come...

Sep 03, 2019
093: Men and Communication with Robert Kandell
45:36

Show notes to come...

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

Aug 27, 2019
092: People of Color and Couples Therapy with Dr. Angela Clack
53:51

In this episode, Dr. Angela Clack discusses cultural legacies that have been passed down for generations. She talks about how to make people from minority cultures feel accepted and understood and hold space for the change that needs to happen in relationships.

Dr. Clack is known for her ability to teach, supervise, coach, and provide training in various areas pertaining to children, youth, and their families. Because of her training and teaching abilities, Dr. Clack has made a massive impact in her community by reducing the stigma of people of color who seek mental health treatment. She is the Author of Women of Color Talk.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Find out more about Dr. Clack at clackassociates.com

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

Aug 20, 2019
091: Deirdre Fay on Feeling Safely Attached
36:18

In this episode, Deirdra Fay talks about the transformational change that is possible when we understand attachment and trauma and are able to do deeper work within ourselves. Deirdre talks about the seven steps to a solid internal world and helps people learn how to become safely embodied.

Deirdra is the Author of Becoming Safely Embodied and Attachment-Based Yoga and Meditation for Trauma Recovery. She is also publishing a new book soon. She does a lot of teaching for therapists and has been inspired by her time living in an Ashram, yoga, mindfulness, IFS, Sensorimotor Therapy and Compassion Focused Therapy.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Find out more about Deirdre at dfay.com

You can also sign up for her free Safe Guide

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Today's Sponsor

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

Aug 13, 2019
090: Attachment Styles with Annie Chen
56:42

Show notes to come...

Jun 18, 2019
089: Infertility, Postpartum Depression, and Perinatal Loss with Bina Bird
41:48

So many of the couples we work with are going through the baby phase of their life. Whether they are trying to get pregnant, are pregnant, have lost a child, or just had a baby, there is going to be a lot of stress and a lot that is hard to predict. Unfortunately, there has historically been a lack of education about this for couples and a lack of support.

In this episode Bina Bird talks all about how to help and guide these couples as they go through these phases and how to identify if more intensive support is required.

Bina Bird is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Haslet Texas and helps couples navigate the pregnancy and postpartum phase of life.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Get your free course on Couples Therapy Here: Working with Couples 101

Get your free handout about the impact of prenatal loss on relationships

Check out Bina's website here: hasletcounseling.com

Join Bina's facebook group for Maternal Mental Health Providers

 

Jun 11, 2019
088: Lynn Grodzki on Bringing Aspects of Coaching into Therapy
47:22

In this episode with Lynn Grodzki, we talk about bringing aspects of coaching into our work with couples in therapy. There is a lot we can learn to make sure we are retaining clients in today's marketplace. Lynn talks about 9 skills we can start bringing into our practice now.

Lynn Grodzki is a practice building expert who has helped hundreds of thousands of therapists and helping professionals build the practice they want. Lynn has written 6 books listed below including best seller, Building Your Ideal Private Practice.

Her new book that just came out is called Therapy With a Coaching Edge.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Get your free course on Couples Therapy Here: Working with Couples 101

Lynn is giving away a free chapter from her new book: Chapter from Therapy with a Coaching Edge

Check out Lynn Grodzki's website at privatepracticesuccess.com

Click here to see all of Lynn's books

See Lynn's site for her new book called Therapy With a Coaching Edge

Jun 04, 2019
087: Sex Talk with Erika Miley
47:37

Show notes to come...

May 28, 2019
086: Martha Kauppi on Working with Open Relationships
57:43

There is a growing reality of non-traditional couples who are coming in for relationship therapy. People who are in polyamorous relationships, want to open up their relationship or are among a number of other sexually marginalized populations are looking for guidance. As therapists we might not always know how to work with these types of relationships, but it is our responsibility to be as compassionate, understanding, and as open as possible.

In this episode Martha Kauppi talks about how we all have particular biases that we bring to our work with clients and the importance of being aware of these and open to learning more about relationships we may not have worked with before.

Martha is the founder of the Institute for Relational Intimacy. The Institute is committed to competence working with a full array of sex issues, including sexual health concerns, alternative sexualities, problematic sexual behavior, and LGBTQAI+ related concerns. She also offers training and support to therapists.

Her dream is to debunk myths and prominent cultural beliefs that disrupt intimate connections between partners, and help create a world where it is easy to find a therapist who can work effectively with relational intimacy challenges.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Martha's website and free course at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

May 14, 2019
085: The 5 Stages of Relationships with Leanne Clarkson
46:22

In this episode Leanne Clarkson talks about the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy which was created by Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. This is one of the leading model of couples therapy and Leanne does an amazing job of describing some of the ways this model can be used with couples. 

She identifies the 5 stages of couple's development which include:

1. The honeymoon phase  2. Differentiation  3. Exploration  4. Reconnection and  5. Synergy

Leanne Clarkson, MPCC is a clinical counselor and certified couples counselor from the Couples Institute; Bader/Pearson Developmental Model, and an Addictions Counselor in Vancouver, Canada.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Leanne's website at www.heartsmatter.ca

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

 

May 07, 2019
084: Men and Masculinity with Joseph Losi
54:21

There are very different ways that men and women are socialized in our culture. Often, this reality is unspoken and creates challenges for relationships. As therapists, we frequently see this in our office and it can be a challenge to know how to address the situation. 

In this episode, Joseph Losi talks about a healthy masculinity and what men can do to be more intimate, vulnerable, and connected to their emotions. 

Joseph A. Losi, MA, LMFT walks with couples, men and women toward a more powerful belief of self and more creative, fulfilling relationships. He blends a decade of therapeutic work with couples and individuals as a Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist and Supervisor in Training with fifteen years of experience in the Mankind Project. He helps his clients embrace authentic, vulnerable, and compassionate lives.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Joseph's website at josephlosi.com

Learn more about the mankind project at mankindproject.org

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

Apr 30, 2019
083: Keeping it Real with Couples with Jasmine Foulkes
46:49

In this episode, Jasmine Foulkes talks about her journey in becoming a therapist and what has been helpful for her in her work with couples. She has a talent for connecting with couples and uses emotionally focused therapy as the primary model that she works from.

Jasmine is a therapist in Nottingham, England. Using EFT, she helps couples have greater insight, raise self-awareness, and improve communication. She encourages and ability for couples to reach out when they feel distress.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Jasmine's website at jfoulkescounseling.com

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

Apr 23, 2019
082: Wendy Behary on Working with Narcissism
53:36

When working with clients in therapy I often wonder if someone might be displaying aspects of narcissism. I often question myself and my reality. It is important to realize that partner of people with narcissism feel this way all the time. The following is from Wendy Behary's website:

Typically, narcissists display ten of the following thirteen traits:

  1. Self-absorbed – Acts like everything is all about him or her
  2. Entitled – Makes the rules; breaks the rules
  3. Demeaning – Puts you down, bullyish
  4. Demanding – of whatever he or she wants
  5. Distrustful  – Suspicious of your motives when you’re being nice to him or her
  6. Perfectionistic – Rigidly high standards – his or her way or no way
  7. Snobbish – Believes he or she is superior to you and others; gets bored easily
  8. Approval seeking – Craves constant praise and recognition
  9. Unempathic- Uninterested in understanding your inner experience or unable to do so
  10. Unremorseful – Cannot offer a genuine apology
  11. Compulsive – Gets overly consumed with details and minutiae
  12. Addictive – Cannot let go of bad habits; uses them to self soothe
  13. Emotionally detached – Steers clear of feeling

Wendy Behary is a leader in working with people with narcissism. She is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She wrote the book Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Find more resources for working with narcissism at disarmingthenarcissist.com

Find out more about the book Disarming the Narcissist

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

Apr 16, 2019
081: Healing from Heartbreak with Chautè Thompson
45:05

 

 

For many people, one of the most difficult times in their life can be going through a breakup or divorce or experiencing some other brokenness in their relationship. Because we are wired to connect as humans, going through this heartbreak can feel like a significant trauma. It is important to have the tools, support and resources to go through this type of experience.

Chautè Thompson talks all about how to recover from these types of situations in the episode today. She wrote a book called Brand New Me: The Pursuit of Wholeness. Chautè Thompson, LMHC is a licensed clinician, speaker, author, educator, consultant and certified family mediator. She offers life changing strategies, transformational empowerment, personal development and mental/emotional health messages to schools, churches, conferences, workshops and seminars.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Find out more about Chautè at brandnewmejourney.com

Visit Chautè's practice website at inspirehopehealthhealing.com

Check out Chautè's book at Brand New Me: The Pursuit of Wholeness

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

Apr 09, 2019
080: Lori Gottlieb on Normalizing the Human Experience
35:36

So often, the individuals and couples we see in therapy feel alone in their experiences. As therapists, art of what we can to for them, is make them accepted and normal. We can help them to feel like they don't have to be so alone in whatever it is they are experiencing. Even in our own experience as therapists we often feel alone and think to ourselves, "am I the only one?"

Lori Gottlieb reveals all in her column as well as her new book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. She discusses what goes through her head in the therapy room and does it in a very compassionate, human way. She is funny, and direct, and sensitive at the same time. 

Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author who writes the weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column for The Atlantic. She has written hundreds of articles related to psychology and culture, many of which have become viral sensations all over the world. A contributing editor for the Atlantic, she also writes for The New York Times Magazine, and appears as a frequent expert on relationships, parenting, and hot-button mental health topics in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Dr. Phil, CNN, and NPR. Her next book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, is forthcoming in April.  Learn more at LoriGottlieb.com or by following her @LoriGottlieb1 on Twitter.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Lori's website at lorigottlieb.com

Read articles from Lori's column, What Your Therapist Really Thinks

Lori's Books

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

I Love You, Nice to Meet You: A Guy and a Girl Give the Lowdown on Coupling Up

Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self

Inside the Cult of Kibu: And Other Tales of the Millennial Gold Rush

Apr 02, 2019
079: EFT and Attachment Injuries with Leanne Campbell and David Fairweather
54:05

We have had a few episodes about emotionally focused therapy (EFT) lately and for good reason. EFT is one of the most well respected and widely used models of couples therapy. This conversation focuses specifically on how couples heal if there has been an affair or other attachment injury.

Leanne Campbell and David Fairweather go into detail about the use of EFT to heal attachment injuries from trauma. They talk about being able to anchor the process of grief resolution in the context of EFT. Connecting with emotions is an important part of the healing process and attending to the role of shame can often be a barrier to forgiveness.

Leanne Campbell and David Fairweather are co-directors at the Vancouver Island Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy. They have both been training with Sue Johnson since the 1990s and are EFT supervisors and trainers.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit the Vancouver Island EFT website

Visit the inEFT website for training in EFT

 

Mar 26, 2019
078: Stan Tatkin on Understanding Your Partner's Brain
50:30

After years of studying couples, neuroscience, and attachment, Dr. Stan Tatkin knows what is necessary for a deep, enduring relationship. In this episode we talk all about those factors and also where couples get off track. 

Stan is the founder of the PACT institute which stands for the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy. He is one of the leading trainers in the world of couples therapy and offers an extensive certification program in this model. Pact has a reputation for effectively treating the most difficult couples.

Click the link to check out the previous interview with Stan in episode #35.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Stan's website at stantatkin.com

Also check out thepactinstitute.com

Mar 19, 2019
077: EFT and Trauma with Kathryn Rheem
45:39

It is becoming more and more evident over time that incorporating aspects of trauma work into couples therapy is incredibly beneficial. Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (one of the leading couples therapy models) is a great way to be able to work with how the trauma is coming up in the present relationship.

Kathryn Rheem is a certified EFT therapist and teacher of the model. She has worked closely with Sue Johnson for over ten years and does lots of training for therapists learning EFT. She is also the director of the Washington Baltimore center for EFT.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Kathryn's website at washingtonbaltimorecenterforeft.com

 

Mar 12, 2019
076: Couples Retreats with Rachel Zamore
53:41

Couples retreats and intensives are getting more and more popular and for good reason. It is a very good way of making a lot of progress in a short amount of time. 

In this episode, Rachel Zamore and I talk all about retreats. We cover the difference between an educational couples experience with a group of couples vs. a private couples retreat vs. an intensive. We also talk about the various options like discernment retreats, affair repair retreats and repair and renewal retreats. 

Rachel Zamore is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and offers compassionate, integrative counseling and relationship coaching for couples and individuals.  Rachel’s work is informed by her deep commitment to mindfulness, to loving presence, and to nurturing the wholeness and unique gifts of each person and relationship.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Rachel's practice website at innerwell.org.

Visit Rachel's site for therapists at relationshipcrossroads.com

Mar 05, 2019
075: Using Mindfulness in Couples Therapy with Rob Fisher
45:45

When working with couples in therapy, it can be easy to get lost in their story and stay focused on the content of what they are talking about. This often feels like a tennis match, watching the ball go back and forth. In the interview this week with Rob Fisher, he talks about how to use experiential techniques in order to help couples slow down, be more present, and tune into what is going on inside them. 

Rob is a certified Hakomi Therapist and Trainer. He teaches couples therapy internationally. He is the publisher of The Couples Psychotherapy Newsletter and the author of a book about experientially oriented couples therapy entitled Experiential Psychotherapy With Couples: A Guide for the Creative Pragmatist.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Rob's website for more information

Here is a link to the Hakomi Institute website

 

Feb 19, 2019
074: Lisa Ferentz on How Trauma Impacts Adult Relationships
51:06

In this episode Shane interview Lisa Ferentz, who is an expert on trauma and has trained and educated hundreds of therapists on how to work with trauma.

She talks about how necessary coping strategies evolve in childhood in response to not having a secure attachment and how these strategies impact adult relationships.

We talked about what people can do in the present when these parts of themselves get triggered. Lisa also touches on sexual abuse survivors and the experience of trying to be sexual in adult relationships. 

Lisa is a recognized expert in the strengths-based, depathologized treatment of trauma and has been in private practice for 32 years. She presents workshops and keynote addresses nationally and internationally, and is a clinical consultant to practitioners and mental health agencies in the United States, Canada, and the UK.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Lisa's website for more information

Check out Lisa's most recent book, Finding your Ruby Slippers: Transformative Life Lessons from the Therapist's Couch

 

Feb 12, 2019
073: Navigating Stepfamily Situations with Karen Bonnell
59:36

Bringing two families together can be one of the most difficult things for couples to deal with. Whether both partners have children, or one partner has children and the other doesn't, it is a very challenging situation. Most people go into these situations without any education or experience in knowing how to handle it. They often come to us as the Therapist looking for guidance and skills they can use to improve their situation.

Enter step-parenting expert, Karen Bonnell. Karen helps families who are going through divorce, working through co-parenting situations, and guiding step-families. She recently wrote a book called The Stepfamily Handbook along with Patricia Papernow. In this episode, she talks all about what to expect and how to work with Couples who are going through the process of becoming a stepfamily.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Karen's website for more information

Check out Karen's new book, The Stepfamily Handbook

Feb 05, 2019
072: Psychodrama with Couples with Walter Logeman
55:15

Using psychodrama in therapy has the capability to help people unlock neural pathways in ways that they wouldn't otherwise be able to with typical talk therapy. This episode explores that process as well as goes through several examples of how to use psychodrama with couples.

Walter Logeman is a therapist in Christchurch, New Zealand who specializes in working with couples. He is a supervisor, trainer, and qualified Imago therapist. He conducts workshops for therapists on how to use psychodrama with their couples. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Walter's website

Jan 29, 2019
071: Hedy Schleifer on Creating Transformation in Couples Therapy
54:31

In this episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, Hedy Schleifer and Shane go deeper into the ideas created by Hedy in her method of working with couples called Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy.

She talks about visiting each other's neighborhoods and unraveling the survival knot. The way that Hedy works with couples is deep and transformative and leads them into much greater intimacy with one another.

Hedy Schleifer has been a therapist for decades and has a wealth of experience educating, training, and presenting to other therapists. Find out more about her and her model, and her trainings at hedyyumi.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Jan 22, 2019
070: Bill Doherty on Marital Commitment vs. Individual Happiness
48:20

Never before in history has there been such a movement towards individual happiness. For a long time people have had a strong sense of commitment to their marriage and to their families. That has all changed a lot in the last 70 years. Couples and family therapy has a evolved a lot along with this movement. More than ever before, people feel the crunch between individual happiness and marital commitment. 

For this reason, Dr. Bill Doherty along with his daughter, Elizabeth Doherty Thomas, started the Doherty Relationship Institute. He has written 15 books and regularly teaches and trains therapists and couples. He has served as President of the National Council on Family Relations and received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Family Therapy Association. He is also the founder of Discernment Counseling for couples on the brink of divorce.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit The dohertyrelationshipinstitute.com

Find out more about the 2020 Kauai CEU Retreat for Therapists

Nov 20, 2018
069: Tammy Nelson on Sex and Couples Therapy
54:37

In this episode with the amazing Couples and Sex Therapist, Dr. Tammy Nelson, we talk about the importance of therapists being comfortable with talking about sex. We talk about how much people's sex lives (whether they have much of one or not) is a huge part of how we define ourselves. Tammy also talks about how to recover from infidelity from a sex therapist standpoint.

Dr. Tammy Nelson is a leader in the field of sex therapy. She has written books and regularly teaches other therapists how to work with couples. She has almost thirty years of experience working with individuals and couples and in private practice she focuses on helping people of all ages, orientations and genders find love, healing and passion.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Here is the free resource mentioned by Tammy: Six Weeks of Erotic Dates & A Protocol for Erotic Recovery

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit Tammy's website at drtammynelson.com

Find out more about the 2020 Kauai CEU Retreat for Therapists

Nov 13, 2018
068: Emotionally Focused Therapy Training with Jill Fischer
48:44

This episode is with Jill Fischer who is a leading Emotionally Focused supervisor and trainer. She provides listeners with a fantastic overview of EFT as a model and what is necessary for training.

Emotionally Focused Therapy is one of the leading models in the world of couples therapy. We talked about the externship, core skills training, and how your own personal work as a therapist can enhance your ability to go deeper with the couples you work with. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit Jill's website at positivecouples.com

Nov 06, 2018
067: Rebecca Jorgensen on EFT and Therapist Development
57:16

When couples come for therapy they are usually aware of anger, frustration, and lack of connection. As humans we are very good at figuring out who to blame our feelings on instead of communicating with vulnerability. Emotionally Focused therapy helps people to connect with themselves and their more authentic emotions. When people tap into their feelings of sadness, fear, and hurt and communicate those from a place of vulnerability, they are more likely to be able to be heard and connect with each other.

Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen is a trainer and supervisor for Emotionally Focused therapy. She works with a lot of therapists to help them grow in their ability to do good therapy with couples. She has a facebook group (link below) where you can learn more about the practice of EFT. She also has trainings on her website.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Click here to join the Emotionally Focused Therapy Facebook Group

Check out Becca's website at rebeccajorgensen.com

Oct 30, 2018
066: Allison Puryear on Building a Fantastic Couples Therapy Practice
42:16

As therapists we get lots of training and do an amazing job of serving our clients in therapy. What most of us don't learn and need help on is how to build, run, and grow a great business. Whether you have clients coming in the door, willing to pay your full fee might have little to do with how effective you are as a therapist. There is a lot that most of us can do to improve our marketing, presence on social media, and networking with our communities.

Talking about all of this today is Allison Puryear from Abundance Practice Builders. Allison is passionate about helping therapists grow the practice of their dreams. She knows what it's like to love the work as a therapist, but not feel like you can even survive on what you are making. It is her mission to empower therapists to do the work they love AND make good money doing it. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Allison's website at abundancepracticebuilding.com

Join the Abundance Practice Builders Facebook Group

Learn more about the AbunDance Party membership site

 

Oct 23, 2018
065: Connectfulness with Rebecca Wong
41:16

For so many of us we don't have a strong sense of what we want in our lives. We spend a lot of time doing what we think will make us happy or what we think others want. Connectfulness is the process of defining what we really want for ourselves so that we can show up in our lives and relationships in a more authentic way.

Rebecca Wong is a couples therapist who works with couples in a deep way. She also works with therapists through one on one coaching, her mentorship program, and the signature retreat. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Rebecca's website at connectfulness.com

Find out more about her retreat and mentorship programs

Oct 16, 2018
064: Black Belt Husband with Quentin Hafner
46:37

Because of the way that men and women are socialized differently, there are particular challenges that men face when it comes to relationships. For this reason, Quentin Hafner wrote a book that provides a clear and actionable roadmap for becoming a successful husband.

The book, Black Belt Husband, outlines twelve character traits necessary to be a great husband, man and partner. Quentin Hafner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Orange County, California, who works with men and couples in his practice. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Quentin's website at quentinhafner.com

Get a copy of Quentin's book, Black Belt Husband

Oct 09, 2018
063: A Couple Educating Couples with Dr. Jameson and Herdyne Mercier
46:39

Often people try to please their partner and lose sight of what they want for themselves. It is important that we speak up for what we want in our relationships in order that we don't grow resentful over time.

In this episode with Dr. Jameson and Herdyne Mercier, they talk about how marriage takes work and they are dedicated to teaching couples the skills they need to have great relationships. They work with couples in their practice in Florida. They have a podcast called the Couples Counsel and have several videos on youtube for people to be able to learn about relationships.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Mercier Wellness and Consulting

Listen to the Couples Counsel podcast

Watch the Mercier's relationship videos

Oct 02, 2018
062: The 5 Core Issues from Pia Mellody and RLT with Kim Ploussard
55:25

Babies aren't born with the ability to have a healthy self-esteem and good boundaries with others. As humans, we learn these things from our parents, but often the education and modeling in our upbringing is lacking in some way. This relational trauma is what causes stress and problems for us in our adult relationships throughout our lives. 

In this episode, Kim Ploussard talks about the 5 core issues that form the foundation of Pia Mellody's work. This is the framework for Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy and he credits Pia with providing the foundation for much of what he teaches. The 5 core issues are: 1. Self-esteem 2. Boundaries 3. Reality issues 4. Dependency 5. Moderation. 

Kim Ploussard works a lot with couples in her practice in Albany, NY. She also does trauma intensives and is one of the coaches for Relational Life Therapy.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Kim's website at albanylifeworks.com

Learn more about the Healing Trauma Network

Sep 18, 2018
061: EFT vs. RLT Debate with Figs O'Sullivan
52:28

In this episode, Emotionally Focused Therapist, Figs O'Sullivan, conceptualizes a case from the standpoint of working from the EFT perspective. Relational Life Therapist, Shane Birkel, talks about how an RLT therapist would work with the same couple. Figs and Shane talk through some of the similarities and differences in the two approaches and how they view couples cases that come in for therapy.

Figs is a Couples Therapist in San Francisco and the creator of the relationship quiz, Empathi. He has studied various couples therapy modalities, but is particularly dedicated to Emotionally Focused Therapy.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Figs's practice website at therapywithfigs.com

Check out the relationship quiz Figs created at Emaphi.com

Sep 11, 2018
060: Relationships 101 with Signe Simon and Simone Humphrey
48:30

In the last few decades there has been an amazing amount of progress and movement towards freedom for individuals in many societies. While this freedom has afforded new opportunities for people, it has also brought about a new level of anxiety. At the same time, there have been advancements and change in the way we use technology. People are more connected than ever, while feeling more isolated and confused about how to navigate these new waters.

The need for relationship education is more important than it ever has been before. In this episode, Signe Simon and Simone Humphrey discuss the new rules of relationships and how we can make sense of them. They talk about what is important for therapists to understand as we are seeing more and more clients impacted by these realities in their relationships and dating lives.

Signe and Simone are both Psychologists in New York and are the founders of Lovelink. They have a wealth of information on their website and you can find out more about listening to their podcast and the relationship workshops they are offering.

Find out more at Lovelink.co.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

Sep 04, 2018
059: Emotionally Focused Family Therapy with Gail Palmer
52:04

As couples therapists, most of use have heard of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), but the same foundations of this model are being used more and more in working with children, their parents, and their families. This model is called Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT).

From an attachment perspective, there is an assumption that parents and children are "wired" together. Parents can be an active agent in healing for the child by: (1) interrupting symptoms and supporting health-focused behaviors, (2) helping their child to process overt and underlying emotions that may be fueling problematic thoughts and symptoms, and (3) leading the repair of relational injuries if applicable.

In this episode with Gail Palmer we talk all about EFFT, how it evolved from EFT and how she is using it to effectively help parents and children who have been stuck. She has developed and teaches other therapists how to do this model.

Gail is one of the founding members of the Ottawa Couple and Family Institute and co-director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy and is Chair of the Education Committee. For over twenty years, Gail has trained and supervised therapists and students in Emotionally Focused Therapy and has conducted Externships, Core Skills Trainings and workshops on a number of EFT topics across Canada, the United States and Europe. She is co-author of Becoming an Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist: The Workbook.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Link to the EFT home page

Emotionally Focused Family Therapy link to the new book by Jim Furrow, Gail Palmer, Susan Johnson, George Faller, and Lisa Palmer Olsen.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

Aug 28, 2018
058: The Five Losing Strategies in Relationships with Shane Birkel
22:48

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy. This report compares Emotionally Focused Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, The Developmental Model, The Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, IMAGO, Gottman, and Internal Family Systems.

The episode today discusses the 5 losing strategies and also 5 winning strategies that couples can use in order to stop feeling stuck. Shane Birkel also gets into how to use the feedback wheel which is a valuable resource for helping couples communicate.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

 

Aug 21, 2018
057: Tiffany McLain on The Money Mindset for Therapists
45:45

As children, we grow up with money messages that we don't even realize are being implanted in us. We often have a hard time knowing how to explore or challenge the psychology of money and how it impacts each of us in a personal way.

As therapists, especially in private practice, we must have a deeper understanding of money both for our business and for our personal lives. In this episode Tiffany McLain talks about the psychology of money, how fear holds us back, having the life we want, talking with clients about money, setting fees and much more.

Tiffany McLain is a therapist in private practice in San Francisco. She is the founder of heytiffany.com which is a wealth of resources to help therapists make more money. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

Don't forget to visit heytiffany.com for more resources

Aug 14, 2018
056: Gottman and Infidelity with Jennifer Lagrotte
48:08

There is so much to consider when working with couples after an affair. The partner who feels betrayed is having a traumatic experience. They feel like the very person the depend on to support them is the one who has done something to hurt them more than anything. It is very important as therapists for us to have a clear sense of how we are helping people heal and recover from these situations.

Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte describes the method for dealing with affairs that is taught by the Gottman Institute. The process involves the steps of Atone, Attune, Attach and she goes into detail as to what this looks like in our work with clients.

Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte, DMFT, LMHC, LMFT, a therapist in practice in Parkland, FL, specializes in working with couples.  She is an expert on showing couples how to stop fighting and start communicating. Her passion is couples, and she has dedicated her work to exclusively working with couples.  Her speciality is affair recovery and uses the Atone/Attune/Attach Method, learned from in-person training with Julie and John Gottman. Learn more about her style at www.facetofacetherapy.com

If you want to find out the top 10 reasons people cheat or take a quiz on infidelity you can take a look here https://www.facetofacetherapy.com/therapy-services/infidelity/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

Aug 07, 2018
055: Attachment vs. Differentiation Debate with Nathan Hardy and Adam Fisher
49:39

This conversation explores the debate between differentiation and attachment. This episode is with the authors of an article entitled Attachment vs. Differentiation and in that article they use Emotionally Focused Therapy (Sue Johnson) vs. Crucible Therapy (David Schnarch) to compare these two models. We talk about whether these two developmental theories are compatible and whether or not it is effective for a therapist to try to integrate aspects of them at the same time, in our work with couples.

Nathan Hardy, PhD is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professor at Oklahoma State University.

Adam Fisher, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and professor at Brigham Young University.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out their article here: Attachment vs. Differentiation

 

Jul 31, 2018
054: Love Worth Making with Stephen Snyder
51:26

As Couples Therapists we know that most people just don't talk about sex. Because of this, when people face sexual issues it can feel overwhelming, anxiety provoking and stressful. In this episode, Dr. Stephen Snyder M.D. talks not only about how to help guide couples to reduce their anxiety about sex, but how to help them have ridiculously great sex.

Dr Snyder has specialized in sex and relationship therapy for over 30 years in Manhattan, where he’s helped over 1,500 individuals and couples regain closeness and satisfaction in their relationships.

Dr Snyder is also the author of one of the most acclaimed sex and relationship books of our time, LOVE WORTH MAKING: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship (St Martin’s Press, 2018).

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Stephen's website at sexualityresource.com

Jul 24, 2018
053: Money Conversations and Couples with Kiné Corder
49:09

When couples come to us with issues related to money they often feel completely stuck. One partner might want to save for the future and one partner might want to give their children valuable experiences in the present. There is often a multitude of stuff going on beneath the surface that couples are only partially aware of.

In this episode with Kiné Corder we go into detail about how to help couples listen and understand each other's values without compromising their own. We talk about how to help couples not only communicate, but also to make a plan that they can both feel good about and provide them with structure about how to work through difficult money conversations. 

Kiné Corder is a best-selling author, international speaker, and psychotherapist specializing in financial therapy. She is the host of the Love and Money Podcast.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

To learn more check out kinecorder.com

Connect with Kine on Facebook: http://kinecorder.com/facebook

Connect with Kine on Instagram: http://kinecorder.com/instagram

Get the free money course: http://kinecorder.com/free-course

Jul 17, 2018
052: Harville Hendrix on Imago Couples Therapy
56:11

This episode explores fundamental questions like why do we fall in love, why do couples fight and how can couples work through conflict? Harville Hendrix has been on the forefront of teaching about relationships for decades. He is the founder of the couples therapy model called Imago Couples Therapy.

Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

To learn more check out harvilleandhelen.com

and relationshipsfirst.org

 

Jul 10, 2018
051: How to Have an Amazing First Couples Therapy Session with Shane Birkel
26:48

As Couples Therapists we all know that Couples Therapy is much different that Individual Therapy. It is easy to get off track and wrapped up in content. It is very important that we have the ability to stay still and redirect the couples we work with to stay with the conversations of process.

As we begin to collect data in the first session it is important to have a mental framework in mind for us to think about how we are conceptualizing the case. We must also make sure to get each person's perspective separately. In this episode Shane Birkel goes into detail about how to manage that first session and how to make sure each partner feels heard in the process.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Shane's practice website at shanebirkel.com

 

Jul 03, 2018
050: Ian Kerner on Treating Sexual Issues in Couples Therapy
45:53

Some of the most popular episodes on the podcast have been about working with sex in the context of Couples Therapy. There are so many dimensions to explore beyond the physical aspect of what is going on sexually. In this episode Ian Kerner talks about a range of ways to explore sexuality in more depth. Considerations include where clients fall in the life span, cultural, family of origin, medications, psychological issues, internalized beliefs interpersonal and relational issues.

Also during this episode we talk about using a science based approach, the PLISSIT model, low desire, mismatch libido, erotic temperament, sexual function issues, and the willingness window.

Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues. Ian is regularly quoted as an expert in various media, with appearances on The Today ShowThe Dr. Oz Show, and NPR. He lectures frequently on topics related to sex and relationships.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.
Jun 26, 2018
049: Ellyn Bader on The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy
51:20

This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience. 

Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate. They were pioneers in the field of couples therapy at the time and have since educated numerous therapists on how to work effectively with couples.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.
Jun 19, 2018
048: Kinky Folks and Non-Traditional Couples with Heather Garner
48:36

As therapists there is a lot we can do to make people feel more comfortable and safe to open up. Doing our own work to challenge biases is an important part of helping other people grow. Part of what is helpful is to be kink aware and come at any sexual conversation with a spirit of openness, understanding, and without judgement.

In this conversation with Heather Garner, she talks about how to get educated as therapists and continue to grow in order to make people feel safe and accepted. Heather is the founder of Garnering Change Psychotherapy, a group practice near Baltimore, MD. She has a passion for working with sexual minorities. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Heather's practice website at garneringchange.net

Resources

Black Rose:  http://br.org/br/

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom:   https://www.ncsfreedom.org/
 
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon
 
Documentary:  BDSM: It's Not What You Think  http://www.bdsmdocumentary.com/
Jun 12, 2018
047: George Faller on Pursuers and Withdrawers in EFT
49:03
Many couples fall into a predictable dance that neither one of them want to be in. They end up being stuck in this pattern and can't seem to free themselves. One partner is the pursuer and one partner is that withdrawer. The more the pursuer pursues, the more the withdrawer withdraws. In order to make progress, both partner must be able to give up their stance in this situation.
 
George Faller has seen this pattern play out time and time again and has helped couples to be understanding of each other and make new moves that enable them to be free of the vicious cycles they get stuck in. George teaches couples that they can understand the pattern and work together. It is all about trusting the other partner and being able to change the dynamic.
 
George Faller is a husband father, therapist, educator, speaker, writer, and global leading in helping people reconnect and strengthen their relationships. He is a certified Supervisor/Trainer/Therapist in EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and founder of the New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy, where he serves as president.
 
The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out George's website at georgefaller.com

Find out more about George's book Sacred Stress

Jun 05, 2018
046: Millennials and Gen Zs in Love with Shadeen Francis
56:11

Expectations for relationships are changing faster than ever. What was considered "normal" for our grandparent's generation is being challenged and evolving all the time. 

In this interview with Shadeen Francis, we talk about the ever changing realities of relationship expectations for Millennials and Gen Zs. Much of what we discuss is helpful and important for any relationship. 

Shadeen Francis, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist, professor, and author. She has over 7 years of experience training, supporting, and collaborating with non-profit organizations, medical schools, homeless shelters, and university counseling centres. Her work allows people of all backgrounds to improve their relationships and live the lives they desire.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Shadeen's website at shadeenfrancis.com

May 29, 2018
045: Multi-Heritage Couples with Melvin Escobar
53:22

When we assume that someone is right and someone is wrong, we are already setting ourselves up to be frustrated in the conversation. Instead of proving who is right, it is much more effective to be understanding and compassionate, especially with our partners.

Melvin Escobar beautifully describes the dynamics of power, privilege, internalized oppression, and cultural (in)sensitivity. Melvin has a private practice in Oakland, CA. He is also a registered yoga teacher. Melvin identifies as a queer cisgender man of color and second-generation El Salvadorian. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.
May 22, 2018
044: Building an Online Presence through Social Media with Dr. Julie Hanks
44:04

Most therapists don't like the idea of being in front of dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of others. We feel right at home with one or two people in our office, but we need to build confidence in showing up and getting our message out to the world.

Some of the best ways to do this is to have a fantastic website, being present on social media and reaching out to the media at large. Dr. Julie Hanks talks all about how to do this and what strategies to focus on as you begin to build your influence in the world.

Dr. Julie Hanks is the author of The Burnout Cure and The Assertiveness Guide for Women. She is a private practice consultant and helps therapists grow their private practices and group practices. She has a website and facebook group called the Private Practice Toolbox. She teaches Rock the Media School for therapists.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out DrJulieHanks.com

Check out Julie's practice website at wasatchfamilytherapy.com

Julie's website for therapists, privatepracticetoolbox.net

and for the Rock the Media School

Click here to join The Private Practice Toolbox Facebook Group 

connect @DrJulieHanks on social media

Video of Julie Singing

 

 

May 15, 2018
043: Beyond Mars and Venus with John Gray
01:27:41

50 years ago men and women were more likely to know what each of their different roles were and feel competent to fulfill their partner in the relationship. In the last few decades women have become more empowered in their careers and men have become more involved at home. This has been a positive evolution for humans, but has led to a lot of stress on relationships.

John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. In hardcover, it was the #1 bestselling book of the 1990s. Dr. Gray’s books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller.

Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships.

John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out John's website at marsvenus.com

and marsvenuscoaching.com

 

May 08, 2018
042: Katherine Woodward Thomas on Conscious Uncoupling
51:17

Going through a break up, separation or divorce is one of the most difficult things people ever have to face. In this episode, Katherine Woodward Thomas discusses how this process can be done with respect, care, and love so that everyone involved is less negatively impacted. This is especially important when children are involved. She outlines a 5 step process for couples to work together as they experience their uncoupling.

Katherine Woodward Thomas is a licensed marriage and family therapist and teacher to thousands from all corners of the world in her virtual and in-person learning communities. She is the originator of the Conscious Uncoupling process made famous by Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin as well as creator of the Calling in “The One:” 49 Days to Love online course.

She is the author of the New York Times Bestseller Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After, which was nominated for a Books for a Better Life Award, and the national bestseller, Calling in “The One:” 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life. Links to those books below.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.
May 01, 2018
041: Alexandra Katehakis on Sex Addiction and Healthy Sex
48:48

When looking at sexual betrayal, many people in our society simplify it down to the fact that the betrayer is bad, wrong, and should be cut off. This leaves out the opportunity of a much more complex way of viewing these situations. To think about this with a more open mind is not to say that there is no accountability on the part of the betrayer, but to hold them accountable while at the same time bringing understanding to them as a person.

In this conversation with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis we talk all about healthy sex, sex addiction, love addiction, and how to work with couples facing these issues. 

Alexandra Katehakis, PhD is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles and the author of several books which I will list below with links. She is an LMFT and clinical supervisor at the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists and a clinical supervisor and member of the teaching faculty for the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), a national certifying body for sex addiction therapists. She is a prominent writer and expert panelist at sexuality conferences and public events.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Alex's website at centerforhealthysex.com

Books: 

Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction

Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment

co-author of the award-winning daily meditation book, Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence

and contributing author of the award-winning clinical textbook Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts

and her brand new workbook: Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan

Apr 24, 2018
040: Polyamorous Relationships with Jonathan Burstein
01:03:07
There are more and more people who might be defined as sexual minorities and it is as important as ever for therapists to be educated and sensitive all types of people they are working with. In this episode Jonathan Burstein discusses polyamorous relationships and how we might become more culturally competent as therapists.
 
Couples need to feel like their therapist won't pathologize their lifestyle choices and make "poly" the problem when they are actually coming in for other relationship issues. There are some important considerations for couples who are considering opening up their partnership.

Johathan Burstein is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Berkeley California. He specializes in working with LGBTQ and alternative relationship communities.
 
The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Jonathan's website at jonathanburstein.com

Apr 17, 2018
039: Lynn Grodzki on Building Your Private Practice
46:12

In grad school we learn all the essentials to become a great therapist. Unfortunately, most therapists come out of that experience lacking any sort of preparation for running a successful business. 

It is essential for therapists to know how to run their business in order to serve as many people as possible and not have the financial stressors that impact their ability to do good work. 

This is a bonus business episode with Lynn Grodzki, a practice building expert who has helped hundreds of thousands of therapists and helping professionals build the practice they want. Lynn has written 6 books listed below including best seller, Building Your Ideal Private Practice.

She has a new book coming out in May called Therapy With a Coaching Edge.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Lynn Grodzki's website at privatepracticesuccess.com

Click here to see all of Lynn's books

See Lynn's site for her new book called Therapy With a Coaching Edge

Apr 10, 2018
038: Terry Real on Relational Life Therapy
45:22

Traditional therapy has done a great job of providing clients with a warm, loving, compassionate environment to heal. Unfortunately, it falls short when it comes to bringing up difficult truths to people when that is necessary.

In this episode, Terry Real talks about the three phases of his model, Relational Life Therapy (RLT), the first of which is joining through the truth. In this way he begins the process of creating quick, profound change in the individuals and couples he works with. 

During the conversation we get into stance-stance-dance, empowering the latent, using a lot of pause, grandiosity, inner child work, and many of the other aspects of Terry's model for couples therapists (RLT).

Terry Real is a leader in the field of couples therapy. He has written 3 books which are linked below, numerous articles, and has been featured in countless interviews with media outlets. He is the founder of the Relational Life Institute and continues to work with couples as well as train therapists. For more information on his upcoming level one training click the link below.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Terry Real's website at terryreal.com

Click here to learn more about RLT level 1 training

Books

The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work

How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women

I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

Apr 03, 2018
037: Janis Abrahms Spring on Healing After an Affair
52:19

How do unfaithful partners typically respond differently than hurt partners after an affair? What constitutes an affair - intercourse? Instant messaging? Flirting? How can unfaithful partners take responsibility for the damage they caused and earn forgiveness? 

These are just a few of the many questions that leave couples feeling confused about what to do after there has been an affair. Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD has beautifully answered these questions in her book, After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful. She normalizes and reassures couples about what they are going through in a way that gives them hope.

That book has been incredibly successful and has sold over 500,000 copies. In addition to that she has written two other books which are linked below. She has been in practice for over 40 years in Westport, Connecticut. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Dr. Spring's website at janisaspring.com

Books

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent

Mar 27, 2018
036: Co-Parenting through Divorce with Karen Bonnell
01:00:21

Some of the most challenging couples we see in Couples Therapy are those who are no longer even in a relationship. When children are involved, it is not possible to ever completely be free of one's ex partner. 

In these situations it is incredibly important for these co-parents to work together in order to support the children in the best way possible. Karen Bonnell is an expert at helping these co-parents work through these situations in a way that is healthy for everyone.

Karen is a collaborative divorce coach who has been helping families for the last 30 years. She teaches parents the best ways to support their children, strengthen their co-parenting, and discover the necessary tools to skillfully create a two-home family.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Karen's website at coachmediateconsult.com

Books

Get a copy of The Co-Parenting Handbook: Raising Well-Adjusted and Resilient Kids from Little Ones to Young Adults through Divorce or Separation

Get a copy of The Parenting Plan Workbook: A Comprehensive Guide to Building a Strong, Child-Centered Parenting Plan

Mar 20, 2018
035: Stan Tatkin on A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy
51:32

Stan Tatkin says that being a Couples Therapist is like being a good Jazz Musician. With a jazz performance, the musicians follow the flow and play in the moment. They're not following a rehearsed piece. No concert is the same. With jazz, it's the many years of practice and expertise, that give each performance its unique identity.

As Couples Therapists we bring our own experience and training to each couple we work with. The best Therapists have the ability to be present and trust their instincts to guide couples to what they need.

Stan Tatkin is the creator of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy. He is the author of several books for couples which are listed below with links. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Stan's website at thepactinstitute.com

Stan's TED Talk called Relationships Are Hard, But Why?

Stan's books:

Wired for Dating

Wired for Love

Your Brain on Love (6 CD set)

Love and War in Intimate Relationships

 

 

Mar 13, 2018
034: 10 Ways to Make More Money in Your Private Practice
31:22

This is the 6th edition of the bonus business episodes that are released the first (or second) Thursday of each month. This is a solo episode with Shane Birkel that is all about steps you can take if your practice isn't quite where you want it to be yet.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Mar 08, 2018
033: EFT and Attachment with Anabelle Bugatti
53:20

People often have a hard time feeling heard and understood, especially in their relationships. In this episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, Anabelle Bugatti talks about attachment and how that influences how we are in relationships.

Anabelle works with couples using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and discusses important considerations for using EFT with couples and how this framework is one of the best ways to get results in couples therapy.

Anabelle Bugatti is an LMFT and certified EFT Couples Therapist. She has a practice near Las Vegas, Nevada. She is currently pursuing a PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Anabelle's practice website at lasvegasmarriagecounseling.com

Check out her videos for therapists and couples at wehearttherapy.com

 

Mar 06, 2018
032: How Parenthood Impacts Relationships with Elly Taylor
01:01:22

In our society, we do a terrible job of preparing new parents for what is to come in their relationship with each other. 92% of parents report increased disagreements after the baby is born. Adding to the huge amount of stress experienced in the transition to parenthood is the perception that we are not good enough or that we are doing something wrong. 

Elly Taylor has made it her mission to help couples better prepare for the journey of becoming their new version of "us". She has broken it down into 8 steps for families to understand in order to be able to thrive.

Elly Taylor is an Australian relationship counsellor, independent parenthood researcher and author of the award winning book Becoming Us. Elly is the founder of Becoming Us, an organisation created to teach helping professionals her research and evidence-based approach to the transition into parenthood and to support mothers, fathers, partners and families to thrive.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Elly's website at ellytaylor.com

Buy Elly's book: Becoming Us: 8 Steps to Grow a Family that Thrives

 

Feb 27, 2018
031: Premarital Counseling with Mayi Dixon
43:06

As couples therapists we know how important a good foundation is. Educating couples about relationship skills right from the beginning can set them up for a lifetime of fulfillment. Unfortunately, we are not taught nearly enough about what it takes to have a happy, healthy relationship in our society.

Mayi Dixon helps couples with this by offering premarital counseling in her private practice in Atlanta, Georgia. She works with these couples to learn how to have a fulfilling relationship and gain understanding right from the beginning.

Mayi has worked in the mental health field for over 10 years. Mayi specializes in Marriage and Family Therapy and Play Therapy. She works a lot with adults recovering from infidelity, attachment, adult parent child relationships, and healing from sexual trauma with an emphasis on attachment.

Currently, Mayi host her own relationship show on Blog Talk Radio entitled the “Heart and Soul of Relationships”. Mayi works as an Adjunct Professor at Mercer University and is a doctoral student at Mercer University studying Counselor Education and Supervision. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Mayi's website at premaritalbliss.com

Follow Mayi on instagram at http://www.instagram.com/innovcounseling

Follow Mayi on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/innovcounseling

Feb 20, 2018
030: Helping Couples Cope After Infidelity with Terri DiMatteo
53:28

Everyone knows someone who has been impacted by infidelity. It is such a prevalent reality in our society, yet there is still so much taboo and limited understanding in the way that we talk about it. There tends to be a lot of shame and judgement involved which can make it even more difficult for couples to work through it.

In this interview with Terri DiMatteo we talk about how to help couples affected by infidelity and betrayal. We go into detail about how to guide couples to have a different perspective and learn to trust and depend on each other again. 

Terri DiMatteo is a Licensed Professional Counselor in New Jersey and the founder of Open Door Therapy. She spent many years as an Early Childhood Specialist where she learned about the work of John Bowlby and Attachment Theory. She brings that understanding into her work with couples. She specializes in helping couples cope with infidelity. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Terri's practice website at opendoortherapy.net

Check out Terri's blog loveBONDS

Here is a link to her podcast on iTunes. It is called Love Bonds

Feb 13, 2018
029: Love Your Paperwork with Maelisa Hall
48:30

*Bonus business episode. We all have trauma from being in school and getting a big red X on a paper. When people mention the word paperwork it can definitely trigger an anxiety response in a lot of people. 

Maelisa Hall, with her business QA Prep is not only making paperwork more fun, but also making it meaningful to enhance the work we do with clients. 

Maelisa is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who has created educational programs to help therapists make paperwork a valuable part of the work that they do in therapy. She is also the co-founder of My Biz Bestie with Amber Hawley.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and once a month there is an episode about the business of private practice.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out QA Prep at qaprep.com

Get your free private practice paperwork Crash Course

Check out My Biz Bestie

Feb 08, 2018
028: Exploring EFT with Jim Thomas
01:01:02

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is one of the most well regarded models being used by couples therapists today. In this episode Jim Thomas offers a glimpse into some of the aspects of EFT that make it so powerful when used well with couples.

Jim Thomas has received supervision from the founder of EFT, Sue Johnson and is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer and a member of the ICEEFT Strategic Planning Committee dedicated to spreading the word about EFT. He still does a lot of work with couples, much of which is in intensive therapy sessions. Jim also does a lot of workshops and trainings for therapists. Jim is facilitating an EFT externship on May 30-June 2 in Denver.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Jim's practice website at www.jimthomas.care

Find out more about the EFT Externship Jim is leading.

Feb 06, 2018
027: Harriet Lerner on Apologizing
47:14

A meaningful apology can transform a relationship. A lackluster apology can just as easily lead to major problems in people's ability to connect. 

For the past 2 decades, Dr. Harriet Lerner has studied the art of the apology and recently just published her latest book called Why Won't You Apologize?

Harriet Lerner is one of the nation's most loved and respected relationship experts, renowned for her scholarly work on the psychology of women and family dynamics. She has written 12 books including the New York Times bestselling The Dance of Anger, which has sold several million copies.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Watch Harriet's TED talk on apologizing: TED Talk

Find out more about Harriet's book, Why Won't You Apologize?

Visit Harriet's website at https://www.harrietlerner.com/

Jan 30, 2018
026: Less Conflict, More Connection with Figs O'Sullivan
01:01:50

All couples get stuck in emotional interactions and patterns that lead to them feeling hurt and wanting to be loved at the same time. It can feel very confusing when the person who we feel is hurting us is also the one who we want to love us.

Figs O'Sullivan talks about getting beyond the content of these couples interactions to guide couples to be more understanding and feel more connected.

Figs is a Couples Therapist in San Francisco and the creator of the relationship quiz, Empathi. He has studied various couples therapy modalities, but is particularly dedicated to Emotionally Focused Therapy. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Figs's practice website at therapywithfigs.com

Check out the relationship quiz Figs created at Emaphi.com

 

Jan 23, 2018
025: Love is a Verb with Bill O'Hanlon
01:00:40

When we think about problems in our relationships we often want to place blame on our partner and attack their character. When this happens it makes people feel stuck and helpless to do anything about the situation. 

In the conversation with Bill O'Hanlon, he talks about guiding couples to express themselves by using specific examples and come up with specific solutions that empower them to break through the areas where they feel stuck.

Bill O'Hanlon is the founder of Solution-Oriented Therapy and the author or co-author of 36 books. He has given over 3500 talks in 27 countries and his work has been featured in many media outlets including an appearance on Oprah.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Resources

Visit Bill's website at billohanlon.com

Just Some of Bill's Books

For Couples: Stop Blaming, Start Loving, AKA: Love is a Verb

For Therapists: Rewriting Love Stories

To Use in Therapy: Couples Therapy Homework Planner

Jan 16, 2018
024: Couples and Autism with Janeen Herskovitz
45:30

There are specific things for therapists to think about when working with a couple who has been impacted by autism. It could be a child of the couple or one of the partners who is on the spectrum, but whatever the case, there is a lot to consider. 

This conversation with Janeen Herskovitz sheds light on many of those concepts for therapists to keep in mind. 

Janeen is a Mental Health Counselor in private practice in North Florida. She loves helping autism spectrum families live happier more peaceful lives.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Resources

Visit Janeen's podcast website at autismblueprint.com

Visit Janeen's practice website at puzzlepeacecounseling.com

Jan 09, 2018
023: Ernesto Segismundo on Creativity, Video, and Social Media
57:21

As therapists, we have so much to offer people, but we are often afraid. Whether it is a case of imposter syndrome or just getting stuck in the day to day, it can be easy to stay in our comfort zone.

In this bonus business episode with Ernesto Segismundo, he talks about how to put ourselves in new situations in order to see things from a different perspective and get fresh ideas.

Ernesto is always challenging therapists to create content on social media, particularly using video. He helps therapists find their voices and share their messages with the world.

He has a facebook group for therapists who want to learn more about using video called FYLMIT.com--Video Marketing for Therapists.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday and a bonus business episode released the first Thursday of each month.

Please rate and subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Resources

Visit Ernesto's website FYLMIT.com

Visit Ernesto's group practice site at cavfamilytherapy.com

Click here to join the FYLMIT.com Facebook Group

Jan 04, 2018
022: Gay Couples with Alapaki Yee and Salvatore Garanzini
01:03:43

In the field of Couples Therapy there has been very little research on gay couples. Fortunately, more and more is being done all of the time. It is important for Couples Therapists to be educated on this research and also understand how they can communicate in a way that is inclusive.

This episode was with Alapaki Yee and Salvatore Garanzini, the founders of the Gay Couples Institute with locations in San Francisco, San Diego, and New York. They created the institute because they disagreed with many of the things their gay and lesbian friends were being told in their own relationship therapy that were not based on any research.

They both have advanced training in the Gottman method and Salvatore is a Certified Gottman Therapist. They continue to do research and are at the forefront of what is working in couples therapy. Please, please, please read the article below about their work!!!

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday.

Please rate and subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Resources

Visit The Gay Couples Institute website at gaycouplesinstitute.org

Article:

Gottman Method Couples Therapy Established as Evidence-Based Treatment for Same-Sex Couples

Jan 02, 2018
021: True Love is not True: Relationships Take Work
20:09

This is the first solo episode on the Couples Therapist Couch. Shane Birkel talks about how love changes over time and normalizes how different it might feel at different phases of the relationship. In order to keep love alive with our partners, it takes a lot of work. 

As the New Year approaches it is important for all of us to set relationship goals along with all of the other areas of our lives. 

Thank you all for listening in 2017. There are already lots of great episodes scheduled for 2018. I appreciate all of you!

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Dec 26, 2017
020: How to Ask About Sex in Couples Therapy with Martha Kauppi
52:47

Most Couples Therapists understand the importance of bringing sex into the conversation in couples therapy. Unfortunately, most feel unprepared to know what questions to ask, how to make clients feel comfortable, and what to do with the information once it is part of the conversation. In this episode, Sex Therapist, Martha Kauppi and I talk all about how to do that.

She has identified 6 questions that she says should be a part of the assessment process for every couple we see. She clearly breaks down important issues that we should be specifically asking about and what to do with that information.

Martha Kauppi has a lifelong career in sexual health, counseling, and creative education. She has been a midwife, an artist, and is currently a certified sex therapist. She is the founder of The Institute for Relational Intimacy which is committed to competence working with a full array of sex issues, including sexual health concerns, alternative sexualities, problematic sexual behavior, and LGBTQAI+ related concerns.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Resources

For more information visit Martha's website at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

Sign up here for the free mini workshop.

The next 16 week course starts on February 5. Go to the website for more information.

Dec 19, 2017
019: Hedy Schleifer on Encounter-centered Couples Therapy
01:01:13

Hedy Schleifer has developed an deep and rich model of working with couples based on her decades of experience as a couples therapist as well as using her own relationship as a "living laboratory."

Encounter-centered Couples Therapy is an experience for one couple to work with the therapist for two full days and connect with each other in a way they have never imagined.

This experience leads to transformational change for the couples and there is more and more research to show that the synaptic process of the brain can be changed through something called memory reconsolidation. 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Resources

For more information visit Hedy's website at hedyyumi.com. She has tons of resources and educational materials on her website so definitely check it out!

Here are the events Hedy has coming up.

 

Dec 12, 2017
018: Amber Hawley on Building Your Business Community
51:26

This is the third Bonus Business episode in a series that is release the first Thursday of each month.

Being in Private Practice can be lonely and therapists tend to be introverts to begin with. In this episode Shane talks with Amber Hawley about how therapists can build their business community. Therapists need to do a better job of making their businesses a priority and having a business bestie (or besties) can help.

Amber Hawley is the co-host, along with Maelisa Hall, of the podcast, My Biz Bestie. She is also the owner of a group practice, licensed marriage and family therapist, business coach, ENFT, mom of three kids and avid coffee drinker.

My Biz Bestie is a podcast focused on sharing ways of connecting with other female entrepreneurs, making the most of networking, discussing helpful biz resources and having fun while being in business.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and a bonus episode the first Thursday of each month about the business of private practice.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Resources

Visit Amber’s personal website at www.amberhawley.com

Visit Amber's practice website at www.fremontcounselingservices.com

Check out the podcast website for MyBizBestie

Check out the site for online resources for couples, couplesfix

Maelisa Hall's site for paperwork support for mental health professionals QAprep

Books

Get Rich Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield-Thomas

Dec 07, 2017
017: Using Gottman Interventions to Enhance Intimacy with Laura Heck
54:40

In order to guide couples to greater intimacy it can be helpful to have a framework that is backed up by decades of research. Laura Heck talks with Shane in this episode about the fact that as a therapist, there is no substitute for experience, but having exercises and interventions can be life changing for couples when used properly.

Laura Heck is an LMFT and Certified Gottman Therapist in private practice in Salt Lake City, UT. She is co-founder of forBetter, an action driven online coaching tool for couples that teaches the science of successful relationships through straight talking and exercises.

She co-hosts Marriage Therapy Radio where you can be a fly on the wall while two marriage therapists hash out some of the most common issues couples encounter. She is the co-developer and master trainer for the Gottman Seven Principles Program and consults as a relationship expert for corporations and media outlets.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Resources

Visit Laura Heck's practice website at www.laurahecktherapy.com

Check out the online coaching tool for couples at www.forbetter.us

Check out Laura's podcast, Marriage Therapy Radio

HIPPA compliant video conferencing mentioned during the show: wecounsel.com

Dec 05, 2017
016: Joy Harden Bradford on Being Open to the Conversation of Privilege
48:57

Lately in our country it seems like race and privilege are at the forefront of the media. From police shootings, to Donald Trump, to kneeling during the national anthem, these issues have a huge impact on everyone, particularly people of color. This is not new, in fact it has been going on for hundreds of years. 

In this episode, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford talks about being open to staying in the conversation. The worst thing we can do in these situations is to shut down the things that need to be discussed. We need to open up our awareness to the microagressions that happen on a daily basis all around us.

Dr. Joy is a Licensed Psychologist in Decatur, GA whose clinical specialty is helping women recover from breakups. She is the founder of Therapy for Black Girls which is a community of collegiate and professional black women who are committed to mental wellness and personal development.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Resources

Visit Dr. Joy's website at therapyforblackgirls.com

Check out Dr. Joy's podcast called Therapy for Black Girls on iTunes.

Find Dr. Joy Harden Bradford and Therapy for Black Girls on twitter, facebook, and instagram.

Nov 28, 2017
015: Lori Gottlieb on Writing to Help Relationships
41:09

In therapy we participate in the conversation with people as they explore the potential for their lives. As a masterful therapist, Lori Gottlieb knows this work, but she is also an expert at something that is a bit different.

She receives letters from people who need help in their lives. She doesn’t talk with them, ask questions, or get to know who they are. Using only the letter each person sends, she crafts a response that sheds light and provides amazingly in-depth insight for her column in the New York Magazine called What Your Therapist Really Thinks.

Lori is a psychotherapist and bestselling author of 4 books, most recently, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. In this episode she talks about the process and challenges of writing her column. She is also writing a new book called, Girl Walks Into A Therapy Room.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and a bonus episode the first Thursday of each month about the business of private practice.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Resources

Visit Lori's website at lorigottlieb.com

Read articles from Lori's column, What Your Therapist Really Thinks

Lori's Books

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

I Love You, Nice to Meet You: A Guy and a Girl Give the Lowdown on Coupling Up

Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self

Inside the Cult of Kibu: And Other Tales of the Millennial Gold Rush

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Nov 21, 2017
014: Addiction and Couples Therapy with Bob Navarra
53:26

Addiction and substance abuse are significant issues that affect a huge number of relationships. Unfortunately, many therapists feel incompetent to work with couples when this is a presenting issue. Dr. Bob Navarra sheds light on this matter by giving therapists a new way of thinking about couples and addiction.

Bob Navarra is a master Gottman Therapist and has over 35 years of experience working with couples. He has done extensive work with couples and addiction and now teaches a training to help educate therapists about how to work with this.

Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and a bonus episode the first Thursday of each month about the business of private practice. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Resources

Visit Bob's website at robertnavarra.net

Visit the facebook page called Couples Recovery

Check out the trainings and resources available at the Gottman Institute

Assessments mentioned

Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test (AUDIT)

CAGE questionnaire

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Nov 14, 2017
013: Law Enforcement Couples with Cyndi Doyle
49:59

When working with couples where one partner is a first responder there are specific issues to be aware of that can help make the work in therapy much more beneficial. Whether one works as a law enforcement officer, for the fire department, or as an EMT, there are common themes that can be extremely important for the partner as well as the therapist to understand.

During this interview, Cyndi Doyle goes into great depth about how we can be more aware of and sensitive to specific challenges that first responders and their partners face. Cyndi has a podcast called Code 4 Couples, which is specifically for law enforcement officers and their relationships.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and a bonus episode the first Thursday of each month about the business of private practice. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Resources

Visit Cyndi's podcast website called Code 4 Couples

Visit Cyndi's practice website at Pecan Branch Counseling

Books mentioned:

A CHiP on my Shoulder by Victoria Newman

I Love a Cop: Revised Edition: What Police Families Need to Know by Ellen Kirschman

Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement: A Guide for Officers and their Families by Kevin Gilmartin

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Nov 07, 2017
012: Building an Instagram Following with Silvy Khoucasian
53:02

There is a growing movement of therapists who are using various social media platforms to connect with the people who need them. In this incredible interview with Silvy Khoucasian, we talk all about using Instagram in order to market your private practice. This is the second bonus business episode for the purpose of helping therapists grow their private practices.

Silvy has been able to grow her Instagram following to over 16,000 followers in under a year. Because of this, she has a way to provide value to people to help them in their relationships. Potential clients have the opportunity to get to know her before deciding to work with her. She has tons of amazing tips for listeners to be able to grown their reach by building an Instagram following.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and a bonus episode the first Thursday of each month about the business of private practice. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Resources

Visit Silvy's website at silvykhoucasian.com

Follow Silvy on Instagram at silvykhoucasian

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Nov 02, 2017
011: Pragmatic/Experiential Therapy for Couples with Brent Atkinson
56:57

When we think about relationships, we often minimize how much work it takes to maintain the happy, healthy connection with our partner. We often feel like love should just come naturally or that if we are with the “right” person everything will just fall into place. What good couples therapists know is that being in a satisfying relationship absolutely does take a lot of effort.

In this interview, Dr. Brent Atkinson talks about how there is often too much insight and understanding as the focus in couples therapy and too little focus on repetitive practice. He proposes that we are all programmed in a way that makes it very difficult to get unstuck when unhealthy patterns play out with our partner. We need to learn to recalibrate the way that we interact with our lover in order to be capable of communicating in a different way.

Dr. Brent Atkinson is the principle architect of Pragmatic/Experiential Therapy. This approach translates new knowledge about how the brain processes emotion into practical methods for improving relationships and increasing personal success. He is Professor Emeritus of Marriage and Family Therapy at Northern Illinois University and his ideas have been published in several journals and magazines. He continues to facilitate trainings and has been the keynote speaker at many professional conferences.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy and a bonus episode the first Thursday of each month about the business of private practice. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes!

Resources

Visit Dr. Brent Atkinson's website at The Couples Clinic

Check out several articles by Brent in The Psychotherapy Networker magazine

Train with Brent in Houston this February in this 5 day intensive training for mental health professionals

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Oct 31, 2017
010: Parenting Issues in Couples Therapy with Mallory Grimste
51:02

One of the main issues that couples bring up in therapy is disagreements about parenting. The way people parent is often related to the way they were brought up by their own parents. That makes these ideals deeply ingrained and particularly triggering for people. Adding to that is the reality that we are impacting our children in a way that will affect them for the rest of their life.

The amazing teen therapist, Mallory Grimste joins The Couples Therapist Couch today to talk about the children’s experience during these parenting struggles. Mallory has a passion for helping teen girls feel more emotionally confident. Her clients often come to her complaining of anxiety and loneliness. They leave therapy feeling better about their relationship with themselves and others. They are no longer afraid of the uncomfortable and have the skills to create a life they love living.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

If you enjoyed the podcast please take a moment to leave a review on iTunes. Thank you!

Resources

Visit Mallory's website at mallorygrimste.com

Get your FREE downloadable meditation at mallorygrimste.com/couplestherapistcouch

Book Recommendation: Untangled by Lisa Damour about guiding teenage girls into adulthood.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Oct 24, 2017
009: Clay Cockrell Talking Online Counseling with Couples
45:56

When it comes to doing online counseling a lot of therapists feel overwhelmed by everything there is to consider. On this episode, Clay Cockrell does an amazing job talking about all of the ins and outs when it comes to working with couples online.

Clay Cockrell is a therapist in New York City. He gained a lot of publicity for starting to do walk and talk therapy in central park. His latest project is building an online counseling directory where therapists can sign up to have a profile searchable by potential clients.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Resources

Visit Clay's online counseling site at onlinecounselling.com

Visit Clay's walk and talk therapy site at www.walkandtalk.com

Check out Clay's podcast called The Online Counselling podcast.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Oct 17, 2017
008: Nazanin Moali on Sex in Couples Therapy
54:00

Sex is such an important part of couple relationships and comes up all the time in our work. Dr. Nazanin Moali gives couples therapists tons of insight into how to work with the sex issues that couples bring up during sessions. She is a Psychologist in California and works with couples and people struggling with addiction.

 In her podcast called Sexology, Nazanin untangles the science of sex and pleasure. She helps individuals and couples improve their sex lives and achieve deep and passionate connections with their partners. She is dedicated to educating people around the world to embrace sexuality as an essential aspect of life and eliminate the stigma associated with it.

 The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Resources

Visit Nazanin’s website for her podcast, Sexology

Email Nazanin at drmoali@sexologypodcast.com

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Oct 10, 2017
007: Joe Sanok on Building a Successful Private Practice
42:54

When it comes to making money in private practice, Joe Sanok is on the forefront of leading therapists to reach their potential. In this episode he talks about the risk involved in having a safe, secure 9-5 job, focusing on a niche, and making more money in your private practice.

Joe is the host of The Practice of the Practice podcast and has a website that offers therapists tons of great resources for starting, growing and leveling up their practices. Joe is also a consultant who works with therapists to help them be successful in business and make more money.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Resources

Visit Joe Sanok's website for therapists at practiceofthepractice.com

Check out Joe's own group practice site at mentalwellnesscounseling.com

Sign up for the 28 step checklist practiceofthepractice/start

Sign up for the World Changers Challenge at practiceofthepractice/challenge

Listen to Joe's podcast called the Practice of the Practice. You can find on iTunes, Stitcher, or Googleplay.

Books mentioned

The Scream Free Marriage by Hal Edward Runkel and Jenny Runkel

Subscribe for more great episodes to come.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Oct 05, 2017
006: Acceptance in Couples Therapy with Andrew Christensen
45:19

Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy is the model that Andrew Christensen developed for working with couples along with Neil Jacobson. In his extensive work and research with couples he found that most couples therapy was focused around change. A primary difference in his approach is that it is focused on acceptance first.

 Andrew Christensen has been researching couples for 35 years. He is a distinguished professor at The University of California Las Angeles. He is the author of a multitude of articles and co-author of the book Acceptance and Change in Couples Therapy and Reconcilable Differences.

 The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Resources

Visit Andrew Christensen's website at drandrewchristensen.com

Visit his site for free, online, relationship help at ourrelationship.com

Learn more about Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy at ibct.psych.ucla.edu

Books mentioned

Reconcilable Differences by Andrew Christensen, PhD, Brian D. Doss, PhD, and Neil S. Jacobson, PhD

Acceptance and Change in Couples Therapy by Neil S. Jacobson and Andrew Christensen

Clinical Handbook of Couples Therapy edited by Alan S. Gurman, Jay L. Lebow, and Douglas K. Snyder

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Oct 03, 2017
005: Race and Privilege with Mercedes Samudio
40:15

In this episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, Shane interviews Mercedes Samudio about race and privilege both in society as a whole as well as how it impacts our work in therapy.

Mercedes emphasizes how important it is to come from a place of wanting to understand, respect, and support. Often, people end up changing the subject and don’t want to talk about the fact that power and privilege have a huge impact on each of us in our society in different ways.

Mercedes is the author of the book Shame-Proof Parenting. She is a therapist and coach who helps parents and children communicate with each other, manage emotional trauma, navigate social media and technology together, and develop healthy parent-child relationships.

Sep 26, 2017
004: Discernment Counseling with Rachel Zamore
51:03

Sometimes couples aren't sure whether they are ready to work on their relationship or not. When this happens it isn't appropriate to do traditional couples therapy until both partners buy in to the process of therapy. Rachel Zamore gives us a closer look at how to work with these mixed agenda couples using Discernment Counseling.

This is the podcast for couples therapists that explores the practice of couples therapy. Shane Birkel, LMFT interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Come join the conversation in the Facebook group, The Couples Therapist Couch. Please subscribe!

Sep 19, 2017
003: State-dependent Couples Therapy with Kerry Lusignan
47:01

Welcome to the third episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, a podcast by couples therapist, Shane Birkel. This is the podcast for Couples Therapists, Marriage Counselors, and Relationship Coaches to explored the practice of couples therapy. In this episode Shane interviews expert, Kerry Lusignan. Subscribe for more great content!

Sep 12, 2017
002: Bringing Couples Closer with Mark Moses
39:26

Welcome to the second episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, a podcast by couples therapist, Shane Birkel. This is the podcast for Couples Therapists, Marriage Counselors, and Relationship Coaches to explore the practice of couples therapy. In this episode Shane interviews couples expert, Mark Moses. Subscribe for more episodes to come.

Sep 12, 2017
001: The Art of Couples Therapy with Margaret Thompson
51:17

Welcome to the first episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, a podcast by couples therapist, Shane Birkel. This is the podcast for Couples Therapists, Marriage Counselors, and Relationship Coaches to explore the practice of couples therapy. This episode is with expert therapist, Margaret Thompson and explored the Art of Couples Therapy. Subscribe for more great episodes to come.

Sep 12, 2017