Heaving Bosoms: A Romance Novel Podcast

By Erin and Melody

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Category: Literature

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Subscribers: 88
Reviews: 2

 Sep 13, 2019
My all time favorite podcast. With most podcasts the banter bores me, but their banter absolutely gives me life. I cannot say enough good things. Wonderful ladies reviewing romance novels and empowering other women. Just subscribe. Trust me

 Aug 26, 2018
One of my favorite podcasts! An absolute laugh out loud joy to listen. Two friends recapping romance books. I love it!


Best friends and romance lovers, Erin and Melody, recap romance novels from a comedic, open-hearted feminist, sex-positive perspective! Giggling, tangents, and sincere joy abound! We take ourselves VERY seriously.

Episode Date
Ep. 114 - The Knight Before Christmas (Netflix Movie)

Hey HBs! We're here with Netflix movie The Knight Before Christmas! We unironically LOVED this story of an Ohio teacher and the knight who travels space and time because TRUE LOVE. 

Bonus Content: surprise sneezes, sick men, are horses cars, *Bing Boong Bong* Mittens with Erin, embarrassing people who are JUST FINE, and so much more! 

Episode Sponsor: Faux Ho Ho by Nathan Burgoine! It's a sweet, queer, fake relationship holiday romance! 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Nadia J., you are a niffler. You might look super cute and huggable with your ducky snout and fluffiness, but you are capable of wreaking enormous havoc when you want. Your taste for the finer things knows no bounds, and why should it? You're used to getting what you deserve: everything.

Dec 09, 2019
Ask-A-Badass HB 8: Becci D!

Oh boy. Becci and Natalie go some places with this conversation. Please keep an eye out for the Patreon episode with an HOUR more of content. EESH. But in this episode, find out what true romance and Cool Ranch Doritos have in common, what Becci is reading, how and why you should JUST SAY NO, and why Ketchup is the only correct answer.

And tune in on Monday, December 9 for Erin and Melody recapping Netflix movie The Knight Before Christmas! 

Dec 07, 2019
Ep. 113 - Safety Not Guaranteed with Tessa Bailey

Hey HBs! Tessa Bailey joined Melody to recap the rom com Safety Not Guaranteed! It's an Aubrey Plaza/Mark Duplass flick that surprised us both with it's mix of odd, lovely, and full-hearted wonder. And we chat about her release Fix Her Up and podcast Read Me Romance! 

Bonus Content: toilet hair, *Bing Boong Bong* DO NOT RUN IN FRONT OF SOMEONE TARGET PRACTICING with Melody, werves, high school nostalgia, toddler drivers, and so much more! 

Lady Loves: 

Tessa: Get a mammogram. You need a healthy baseline, preferably before you're 40. Do it! 

Melody: Yeah, make that appointment you're putting off. I finally went to the dermatologist about a couple of moles and they're gone now! 

Episode Sponsor: Tempting Heat by Sara Whitney! It's a sassy, steamy, snowed-in second chance romance that is super witty. 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Jennifer L, you are a doxie, which is a small flying creature sometimes mistaken for a fairy, but get close enough and a careless observer will find they've made a big mistake. Doxies are sometimes called biting fairies because they have two rows of teeth don't put up with any bullshit. They also have extra limbs and poisonous venom. So, basically like fairies but better.

Dec 02, 2019
Ask-A-Badass HB 7: Ali F!

This week we talk to Ali F! Natalie and Ali do a deep dive into the Myers-Briggs Personality Test, Fangirl over Penny Reid, discuss what could truly be the most versatile thing to dispense out of your belly button, and Nat negs Ali for moving to Florida.

And tune in Monday, December 2 for Safety Not Guaranteed with Tessa Bailey! Yes, THE Tessa Bailey! *squee!*

Nov 29, 2019
Ep. 112 - Thanksgiving by Janet Evanovich

Happy Thanksgiving, American HBs! We're so thankful to and for you, listener, no matter where you're from. What better way to show that than with a themed episode?! We bring you THANKSGIVING by Janet Evanovich! It's a book we expected to love because we love Stephanie Plum so much, but were mostly confused, amused, and amazed by. Join us on this journey where two eccentric narcissists non sequitur each other into love. Maybe? We think? Thanksgiving is involved! 

*if you'd like to advertise on Heaving Bosoms email heavingbosomspodcast@gmail.com it's a pretty cheap!*

Bonus Content: 

Hansel and Gretel jokes, Erin's drunken excursions into Colonial Williamsburg, old-timey dick joke hilarity, *Bing Boong Bong* Mandatory Reporters with Erin, nose obsessions, INSANE reading by Melody, and so much more! 

Lady Loves: 

Melody: Listen to Wicked Wallflowers Club's episode with Angelina M. Lopez HERE! It's so empowering regarding how podcasting is one more way to celebrate romance and connect with other romance lovers. Angelina also opens up about her 20 year journey to becoming a romance author and it's an inspiring take on setting boundaries, embracing your limits, flexing your writing muscles in other, small ways, and then really committing when the time and idea are right. And I'm so thankful for our sister podcasts WWC, Fated Mates, and Black Chick Lit. We have been embraced by some truly brilliant and wonderful women and you should listen to them all!  

Erin: ...have you heard of snack olives? They make these little packages of olives that are a tiny tasty treat. 


Kimberly L, you are descended from Priapus, a rustic god of abundance, guardian domesticated animals, a protector bees and gardens, and a fixture in humorous tales. You are a wonderfully sweet soul who connects easily with animals and you serve as a refuge to many, animal and human alike. You project a safe, protective vibe without trying, and yet, you manage to also be boisterous and fuckin' hilarious. Finally, and I’m not sure if anyone has told you this before, but you give off some serious BDE. That’s Big Dick Energy for the uninitiated. You can than Priapus for that, too, because he had a famously large penis. So. Get on with your bad self, Kimberly. And never change. 

Make sure to check out our Patreon bonus content!

Subscribe! Rate! Review! 

Merch: Redbubble

And follow our socials: 

Instagram: @heavingbosoms

Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Facebook: facebook.com/heavingbosomspodcast

Nov 25, 2019
Ask-A-Badass HB 6: Jenny!

Hey HBs! This week, Natalie and Jenny chat romance, tarot, witchiness, and so much more! 

And tune into the regular episode on Monday, November 25th for Thanksgiving by Janet Evanovich! 

Nov 22, 2019
Ep. 111 - The Holiday with Jill Shalvis

That’s right HBs! We’re kicking off the holiday season with a recap of The Holiday with Jill Shalvis ! Holiday romance! Dogs! Logistics with Erin and Jill! Jude Law putting on glasses! The old guy! Be sure to watch the movie and pick up Jill’s new holiday romance, Wrapped Up in You!

Episode Sponsor: 

Wall Street Titan by Anna Zaires! Billionaire in search of a wife, cat lady bookworm, mistaken identity, opposites attract! Get a copy ASAP! 

Nov 18, 2019
Ask-A-Badass HB 5: Bethany!

Natalie learns about how important it is to follow your dreams, how romance can help you learn about yourself, Nora Roberts, what a Swamp Bat is, and why skin care is important.

And on Monday, join Erin and Jill Shalvis while they recap The Holiday. It's a classic Christmas rom-com with Kate Winslet, Jack Black, Jude Law, and Cameron Diaz! 

Nov 15, 2019
Ep. 110 - Prince Joe by Suzanne Brockmann

Hey HBs! We're here this gorgeous Veterans Day with Prince Joe by Suzanne Brockmann! When terrorists Digiorno and Sausalito decide to assassinate a Prince, he needs his American Doppleganger, a Navy Seal, to impersonate him. Luckily, he has a high class, dancing, media consultant who can turn this wrong-side-of-the-tracks guy into Royalty. Or something. Begrudging association becomes steamy bed play! And then LOVE!! 

Bonus Content: 

Erin's spectacular mom reads romance now!, we're stoked for ACOWAR, Jordan Catalano, teeny tiny sleeps, Erin's favorite version of Showgirls with crazy cartoon bikinis covering the T&A and goofily-dubbed cursing, *Bing Boong Bong* SO MANY THINGS with Erin, nipple lapels, bearing down, head hopping (discussed a bit in this episode of Fated Mates), something called a "chopter," and so much more! 

Lady Loves:

Melody: bras that fit. Get them on your body. Erin endorses the Spanx Pillow Cup Signature Pushup Plunge Bra. It's got memory foam cups! 

Erin: one that note, pants that fit! High-waisted Madewell are awesome! 

Episode Sponsor: 

Wanna Bet by Betsy Dudak! 

Harper McReynolds a single mother of two, with a troubled history, who needs stability for herself and her daughters. Randall gives her all she asks for in a boyfriend—kindness, predictability, structure, and routine. Harper's head keeps trying to remind her that she doesn't want the bad boy who makes her combust every time she's near him.

Brody Reed's addiction claimed a brother's trust and started his own downward spiral. Growing tired of life on the road, a woman at every concert and a dependency on liquid courage, Brody put his life back together piece by broken piece. But the woman he lusts after may just shatter all of this.

An off-handed bet Brody and Harper make after a passionate kiss may change everything for them. Will they gamble on their hearts to prove to each other they are all in? Or when the stakes get too high, will they fold and walk away?

Indy Podcast Promo: 

The Secret Life of Weddings

Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, etc. or at http://secretlifeofweddings.com
Nov 11, 2019
Ask-A-Badass HB 4: Alie!

Hey HBs! It's time for Ask-A-Badass! Today Natalie learns about Human Resources and what you can do in romance novels, but not in real life (spoiler alert: DON'T KEEP PANTIES IN YOUR DESK DRAWER, OK??).

And tune it on Monday, November 11 for Prince Joe by Suzanne Brockmann for Navy Seals, 90's callbacks, patented HB action sequences, and so much more!

To be featured on Ask-A-Badass, email askabadasspod@gmail.com and before you second-guess yourself YES WE MEAN YOU! 

Nov 08, 2019
Ep. 109 - The Mark of the Midnight Manzanilla by Lauren Willig (PART 2)

Hey HB's! We're here with the climactic end to The Mark of the Midnight Manzanilla by Lauren Willig! We're back with the Duke of Sexydom Lucien and Sally, Patron Saint of Self-Worth and crack detective to discover who the muuuuuuurdererrrrrr is! And also kissing! And fighting! And groveling! And love! And WEASELS! Yes please. 

Bonus Content: Erin is haunted and GOAT is capitalizing, sexy HB fanfic, LOTS of Melody fanfic, INTRIGUE, secret passages, and so much more. 

Lady Loves: 

Erin: Don't ingest things that are actually poisonous for you. Respect any *intolerances* you might have!

Melody: the show LETTERKENNY on Hulu. Go to there! 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Jenny Whitty, you are the lovechild of Eutychia, goddess of happiness, and Elpis, goddess of hope. From Eutychia you get your positive outlook, sunny disposition, and practice of random acts of kindness. Whether it’s big, like volunteering, or small, like introducing us to the reading sexy mudflap girl, you’re always there to lift others up. Now, the Greeks weren’t super into hope, they more saw it as an extension to human suffering, and there’s something sort of beautiful about that. So, from Elpis, goddess of hope, you get your healthy coping mechanisms and ability to take on big challenges. Life hasn’t been all roses and sunshine for you, but you push through the trials and pain and come out stronger on the other side because a big part of hope is belief, or faith, in yourself. 

Nov 04, 2019
Ask-A-Badass HB 3: Jackie!

In this episode of Ask-A-Badass, Natalie learns about Jackie's love of old school romance, how to swindle pregnant ladies out of rocking chairs, important pinball information, and all about Hugh Jackman.

To be featured on Ask-A-Badass, email askabadasspod@gmail.com! 

And join us on Monday, November 4 for part 2 of Mark of the Midnight Manzanilla by Lauren Willig! 

Nov 01, 2019
Ep. 108 - The Mark of the Midnight Manzanilla by Lauren Willig (PART 1)

Hey y'all! We're here with part 1 of The Mark of the Midnight Manzanilla by Lauren Willig! There's a confident heroine who oozes awesome, there's a Vampire Duke (!! or is there?), spies!, MURDERRRRRR, it's a spooky good time. 

Bonus Content: 

Melody's salty because there's no sex. Listen! The characters are so hot and the romance is so good that she just wants there to be sex! It's because Lauren Willig is SO GOOD! And because Melody is a perv. #onbrand. Also, Trevor the Ferret, Beauregard the Dog, and #saladjokes! Enjoy.

Lady Loves: 

Melody: Impeachment, A Daily Podcast from WNYC's Bill Laher and Vox's Impeachment Explained Podcast. So good, so bite-sized, so curated, so not the gaping hole of the internet. 

Erin: be a proud Pumpkin Slut! 

Patreon Shout Out!

Emmi S., you are the lovechild of Themis and Eos. Themis was a Greek Titaness in charge of order and fairness. You get the solid head on your shoulders from her. She also built the Oracle of Delphi and was, herself, orcacular, so that might explain how you broke the mold on those tattoos from your youth. You’ve always just KNOWN. Meanwhile, Eos is the goddess of dawn and new beginnings. She is where you get the bravery to start fresh and realize your dreams, no matter where you are in life. So you keep lacing up, working hard, and meeting your heroes, Emmi. You’re a goddamned inspiration.


Oct 28, 2019
Ask-A-Badass HB 2: Blair!

Hey HBs! We're here with THE ONE AND ONLY Blair! Natalie debuts her wonderful, warm interviewing style and finds out Blair's problematic faves, how writing works, the importance of mayonnaise, and other Necessary Blair Facts. Enjoy! 

And join us on Oct 28 for Part 1 of The Mark of the Midnight Manzanilla by Lauren Willig! Come for the Sherlock Holmes Times, which Melody thought was England Times, but was MISTAKEN, and stay for the vampire rumors and SALAD JOKES. You can only get this content here, folks. 

Oct 23, 2019
Ep. 107 - The Right Swipe by Alisha Rai with Erin and Cole!
Hey there listener! We're kicking off year three of this crazy ride with a guest host! Fan-favorite Cole is back to discuss The Right Swipe by Cole's very favorite author, Alisha Rai. Join us for this smart, super hot contemporary about a take-no-shit CEO and the sexy football player that is the spokesman of a rival company. Get ready for some enemies to lovers, Hufflepuff-Slytherin cinnamon roll goodness!
CONTENT WARNINGS: Alzheimer's, CTE/TBI, emotional abuse, sexual harassment
Bonus content: Cole has a serious, not creepy crush on Alisha Rai, saying "yum yum" during oral sex: is it sexy?, Cole doesn't know any modern dating terms despite going to high school with Erin, Varsity Blues, Mark McGrath freaking out on a teen, sweaty cakes, glitter, Grandpa Joe is a fake and a liar, and Chekov's ex-boyfriend.    
Lady Loves
Cole: nostalgic music playlists, Popeyes crispy chicken sandwich, seeing old movies on the big screen
Erin: homemade dunkaroo dip
Oct 21, 2019
Ask-A-Badass HB 1: Host Natalie!

Hey HBs! Join us on Monday, Oct 21 for Erin and Cole recapping The Right Swipe by Alisha Rai! Cole positively swoons over his author crush writing his prima book girlfriend and Erin gets to introduce this quasi-newbie to romance novel phenomenon Chekhov's Abusive Ex. Woo! 

And it's our first Ask a Badass pod! In this episode, you are introduced to Natalie M-M, the host of Ask-A-Badass. Melody asks Natalie questions that Natalie created, and Natalie has trouble coming up with her answers. There are baked goods, cackling, pirate sex, survival skills, what else? Who knows.

To be featured on Ask-A-Badass, email askabadasspod@gmail.com! 

Oct 16, 2019
Ep. 106 - 2nd Podiversary!

Hey HB's! It's been TWO YEARS OF AWESOME!!!! Y'all are amazing. For real. We can't believe how lucky we are to have you in our world. In celebration of our two year podiversary we're coming at you with some fuck/marry/kills, some best and worst podcast awards, and some listener questions. Plus The State of The Cult and a BIG announcement. Woo! 


Make sure to check out our Patreon bonus content at https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast

Subscribe! Rate! Review! 

Merch: Redbubble

And follow our socials: 

Instagram: @heavingbosoms

Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Facebook: facebook.com/heavingbosomspodcast

Oct 14, 2019
Ep. 106 TRAILER - 2nd Podiversary!

Hey HBs! We're 2 YEARS OLD! That's right! We've been in your earholes for two whole years and on Monday, Oct 14 we're here to celebrate! Come listen to bests and worsts, FMKs, listener questions, The State of the Cult, and A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT! Yaaaayyyyyyy! 

Oct 09, 2019
Ep. 105 - The Covert Captain, or A Marriage of Equals by Jeanelle M. Ferreira (PART 2)

Hey HB's! We're here for part two of The Covert Captain, or A Marriage of Equals by Jeanelle M. Ferreira! We *think* we wrap up the plot of this book quite nicely! Once you parse through the Englandtimes phrasing, our extreme jet-lag, and not having read the book in a ... a few weeks? LISTEN. We're making plans and resolutions to be better in the future because Erin is hereby EMBARRASSED.  

Bonus Content: 

WE'RE IN THE SAME ROOM! For the first time ever! Erin so tired she almost quit podcast, #intellectualismin2020, our thoughts on the manners of Little Red Ridinghood and other nursery story girls, Erin FINALLY opens her Kindle, we come down on one of the MC's for the way she talks to, and about, a Jewish family in the book, Mollyhouse!, Rooster's Salmon Oil Tantrum, Our new hit single ~Early in the Fuck Morning~, our observations about dried up spinsters on the shelf (*psssst* don't discount them, they definitely 69), Washer/Watcher Women, HYPOTHETICAL Tree Sex that A FRIEND had, #bringbackdueling #doitbetterthough, Maid's half birthdays, #goodjobdueling, and our future resolutions for the next couple of years.

Lady Loves: 

Erin: Cozy sleepy sleep. Get some. Cherish it. 

Melody: Prank your kids! Even if they're jet-lagged toddlers! 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Jadine T, you are a pukwudgie, a mythical forest trickster that can appear and disappear at will, use magic, launch poison arrows, and create fire. You tend to be grumpy and value your independence, but you are also hardworking and loyal. Most importantly, pukwudgies are known for a tendency to steal pumpkins and hoard them for personal use due to a true love of autumn. A pukwudgie loves a warm scarf and a PSL and a bonfire just as much as the next girl, and you are not going to be ashamed of it. 

Oct 07, 2019
Ep. 104 - The Covert Captain, Or a Marriage of Equals by Jeanelle M. Ferreira (PART 1)

Hey HB's! We're here with The Covert Captain, or A Marriage of Equals by Jeanelle M. Ferreira, a historical that's so historical, even two ladies who can read and understand Shakespeare couldn't quite decipher it a lot of the time. What we understood, we loved, though! It's about a Captain in the army with a Big Secret and the spinster with nothing to lose bonding over pianos, horses, promiscuous relations, and the idea that ladies are capable and worthwhile just as they are. 

Bonus Content: Melody's apologetic spoken word poem, Frogs, *things* eating their own tails, secret passage ways, duckies (not), absconding via windows, diets of postage, and so much more. 

Lady Loves:

Melody - Tracy Chapman. Listen to her. She's amazing. And Lizzo's MTV Music Awards performance in front of a giant inflatable ass. 

Erin - MBMBaM episode 413: Faster Car. Hilarious! 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Ariel LG, you are a sphynx, a fearsome majestic lioness with the face of a gorgeous woman. The word sphynx comes from Arabic for the terrifying one, which is kind of an understatement. The great sphynx is the ultimate protector and guardian, devouring all that cannot answer her clever riddles. She has super-high standards for men to get past her, and she should, because she's a literal lion goddess. You are so fierce that Ancient Egyptians believed just a statue of you could scare off those that might disturb the great pyramids. They were right. Just the idea of you is scary and awesome. Never change.


Sep 30, 2019
Ep. 104 TRAILER - The Covert Captain, Or a Marriage of Equals by Jeanelle M. Ferreira

Hey HBs! We're coming at you on Monday, September 30 with Part 1 of The Covert Captain: Or, A Marriage of Equals by Jeanelle M. Ferreira. You guys. We tried, but it's written in England Times. No, it's not just SET in England Times, it's also WRITTEN in England Times, so deciphering all the details was beyond us. So, come hear what we *think* happened! 

Sep 25, 2019
Ep. 103 - The Duke and I by Julia Quinn

Hey HBs! This week we're rereleasing our episode on The Duke and I by Julia Quinn because a) we're so stoked for the Bridgerton Series coming to Netflix next year, b) it's the birth of "England Times," and c) we're just as thankful to everyone who listens now as we were then! WE LOVE YOU, LISTENER! Thank you for loving this wonderful genre as much as we do!

So, are you a sucker for a rakish Duke, a lady who can throw a punch, and a fake dating scheme? We are TOO! 

Content Warning: sexual assault, miscarriage

Self-Love Recommendations: 

- Ginger-infused tea; it'll cure what ails you! 

- Listen to episode 7 of Queery with Cameron Esposito; it's an interview with Stephanie Beatriz about bisexuality, bi-erasure, acting, and "being shitty with yourself" in order to succeed. So good! 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Tanya GM, you are an Ogopogo, a legendary Canadian lake serpent demon that is basically living its best life. You are about 40 million years old and probably immortal, so you don't take any shit from anybody. And if you love somebody for a thousand years like in that Twilight wedding song, it would basically be a blip on your radar. Coolest of all, even though you are a fierce, reclusive, deadly beast, people love you and want to put you on T-Shirts and use you as a mascot. You're both feared and loved, which is basically the dream. Your name is also a palindrome, so that's pretty cool.

Sep 23, 2019
Ep. 103 TRAILER - The Duke and I by Julia Quinn

Hey HBs! On Monday, September 23rd we're re-releasing our early episode on The Duke and I by Julia Quinn because we are so excited for the Bridgerton Series coming to Netflix in 2020! Let's get excited! 

Sep 18, 2019
Ep. 102 - The American President with Erin and Cole


Erin joined Cole on Cigarette Burns Podcast to talk about one of their all-time favorites, “The American President”.  This film has it all – prime Rob Reiner, young Aaron Sorkin, the second coming of sexy Michael Douglas, perfect Annette Bening, and hair….serious hair.  The more they talked about it, the better this film got. Great score, wonderful performances, wit and humor, romance, and a Christmas-carol singing Richard Dreyfuss.  Don’t miss Erin’s obsession with Erik von Detten, sexy Presidents, and some serious bullhonky regarding the perfect television show Sports Night.  Also, it turns out Cole is better than Chris Pine at exactly one thing.

Recommendations: “My Date with the President’s Daughter”, “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington”, “Romancing the Stone”, “Black Rain”, “The Grifters”, “Charlie Wilson’s War”, and the New Camelot Trilogy (“American Queen”, “American Prince”, and “American King”) by Sierra Simone.

Sep 16, 2019
Ep. 102 TRAILER - The American President with Erin and Cole

Hey HBs! We're here with your favorite! Yes, the jig is up. We know Cole is your favorite. You can stop pretending it's either Erin or Melody. WE KNOW OK?! Come listen to Erin and Cole recap the movie The American President on Monday, September 16. It originally aired on Cole's show The Cigarette Burns podcast and now we're getting it to your earholes! 

Sep 11, 2019
Ep. 101 - The Lady's Guide To Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite

Hey HB's! It's time for the Great Big Romance Read! We're reading The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite! Do you love a lady scientist? What about a lady fiber artist? What about two ladies who SUPER BELIEVE IN EACH OTHER AND WILL FIGHT THE MAN TOGETHER. This novel is all that plus hot, hot smooching and gorgeous prose! 

Bonus Content: Rooster's adventure, is GOAT a criminal mastermind?, we're a history podcast now, and by history we obviously mean geography, "nepotizing!" AKA Melody cracks herself up by making up words, Melody attempts being demure, college seduction techniques, England Times Flipping Tables, and GODDAMNED COMETS. 

Lady Loves: 

Take a friend vacation! x2

Episode sponsor: 

Rocking Her Boat is a debut novel by Melanie Edwards! It's got a driven marine biologist heroine and a bad boy rising rock star hero that you should check out immediately! 

Podcast Promo: 

Hot and Bothered

Patreon Shout Out!

Anna S, you are the genetic copy of the chosen one, a galactic princess with interplanetary royal blood and the ability to control bees. You are the legal owner of the Earth. If any weird siblings try to come here and suck all our blood for youth, you have veto power. You also love dogs. You always have. Specifically, you love one dog in particular with flying roller blades. He used to have wings, but someone cut them off because he bit somebody. Anyway, you are basically a superhero space queen who saves everyone. You can make out with any dog-men you want and no one can tell you different because you have the title to the Earth. Congratulations.

Sep 09, 2019
Ep. 101 TRAILER - The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite

Hey HBs! Come join us on Monday 9/9 for The Ripped Bodice's 2019 Great Big Romance Read with The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite! Hear all about a lady astronomer who wants to come out of the shadows of her father's work and the Countess who thinks she should be recognized for her abilities just like any man. Along the way they recognize the other's myriad passions and support each other's dreams as much as they appreciate their carnal connection. It's a feminist text that we want to swim in forever!!! 

Sep 04, 2019
Ep. 100 - Set It Up with Talia Hibbert

Hey everyone! SPECIAL GUEST EPISODE! Talia Hibbert joined Melody to talk all about the Netflix movie Set It Up, as well as her two new releases Work For It (9/3) and Get a Life, Chloe Brown (11/5). Both are available for pr-order! Come listen to us chat about this *almost* woke movie while Melody peppers in questions about Talia's writing and generally dies over her awesomeness. 

Bonus Content: What are s'mores, KISS CAMS QUESTION MARK, #justiceforgolfguy, *Bing Boong Bong* Unexpected Patriotism with Melody, and so much more! 

Lady Loves: 

Talia: Konjac sponges! Fun, awesome, natural! 

Melody: Work For It and Get a Life, Chloe Brown. Get them immediately! 

Episode Sponsors:

Rocking Her Boat is a debut novel by Melanie Edwards! It's got a driven marine biologist heroine and a bad boy rising rock star hero that you should check out immediately! 

Words and Kisses the UK monthly romance subscription box!

Patreon Shout Out! 

Safoora B., you are descended from Aegle, the Greek goddess of radiant health. You may have had that beautiful baby, but you haven’t lost your glow because it’s always come directly from your soul. No matter the situation you can light up any interaction with your sparkling wit, luminous smile, mischievous gleam, and lovely warmth. Your beautiful family, employer, and friends couldn’t do without your dedication to leaving everything better than when you got there. Plus, you have an eye for beauty that is goddess-sent. 

Sep 02, 2019
Ep. 100 TRAILER - Set It Up with Talia Hibbert

Hey Everyone! On Monday, we've got TALIA HIBBERT ON THE POD! That's right. Come here Melody gush directly into Talia's ears in what is hopefully not a desperately awkward manner. Also, they review the Netflix film Set It Up with Lucy Liu, Taye Diggs, Bland Girl, and Lacrosse Douche! 

Sep 01, 2019
Ep. 99 - One Wore Blue by Heather Graham (PART 2)

Hey HBs! We're back for One Wore Blue Part 2. I know, we don't want to be here either. HOWEVER! Come hear Mel and Erin cope through humor and ranting! 

Content Warnings: enragingly whitewashed depictions of slavery and hate speech. 

Patreon Shout Out!

Katie K., you are The Witch of the Wild, made modern. You use your powerful magic for good, whether it’s through humor, the way you wield a makeup brush, or bringing a cosplay to life. I also have a feeling that, when behind the bar, your party potions can be legendary. Like the witch you’re inspired by, you also have powerful healing magic. You can pick up a friend who’s down with a look, a kind word, a funny joke, or a cutting remark aimed at the person who hurt them. You can take down your loved ones enemies with the best of them, and you’re not afraid to go there. I’m so glad our cult has you to entertain and protect us.

Aug 26, 2019
Ep. 98 - One Wore Blue by Heather Graham (PART 1)

Hey HBs! Come join us in this love letter to Confederate Generals where two privileged slave owners angst at each other over states rights (but not slavery because they're both pretty okay with that; STATES RIGHTS!) until they bang it out, or while they bang it out, or after they bang it out. Also it's our first AmericaTimes book! 

CONTENT WARNINGS: inaccurate and whitewashed depiction of slavery and hate speech

Bonus Content: 

Mel copes with this deplorable version of Antebellum white washing with THREE WHOLE PAGES of charming and hilarious southern phrases, Erin hates it, many southern accents, Podcast of Northern Aggression?, Kiernan SUUUUUUUUUCKS, *Bing Boong Bong* Civil War Name Dropping with Erin, was Moses Fancy?, orgasming through a snapchat filter, and Erin proposes a hypothesis after reading Sookie and this: is this type of O the super power of Civil War Era Southern Gentlemen? 

Lady Loves

Melody: "Hard to Swallow Pills: Rejection Sensitivity" Graphic

Erin: Katmai Bear Cam! Watch bears being bears at nature's conveyor belt sushi! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4C1c4z8hTQ

Patreon Shout Out: 

Jen RR, you are a Book Dragon. A creature whose passion for the written word is matched only by your expansive intellect and charring wit. While most dragons hoard their belongings and guard them fiercely against all intruders, you are benevolent and share with anyone who’s looking for a recommendation. You shout good writing from the door of your lair and your taste never falters. One thing you do guard fiercely, however, is your inner circle. You are incredibly protective over, and take gentle care of, the people you deem yours. And your fire breath is a mixed bag. You’re not afraid to call out ignorance and injustice and you can burn anything to the ground with almost zero effort, but you’re quick to warm up a chilled friend with a kind word. You also give amazing hugs.

Aug 19, 2019
Ep. 98 TRAILER - One Wore Blue by Heather Graham (PART 1)

Hey y'all! This Monday we've got our first America Times book! The Civil War novel, One Wore Blue by Heather Graham. Did Melody spend a ton of time compiling hilarious southern phrases? Are there egregious southern accents? Are we a little conflicted about rooting for two slave owners getting their HEA? I mean YEAH. See you Monday!

Aug 14, 2019
Ep. 97 - Chat with Christina Lauren!

Hey HBs! Erin got to talk to CHRISTINA LAUREN! Both Lauren AND Christina! In addition to spending a little time talking about What's My Number (they hate slut-shaming *swoon!*), they talk all about their friendship, writing, breaking into the movie biz, and a ton more. Most importantly, you get to hear how right they are about The One True Chris! #christinalaurensecretthing

Make sure to pre-order their next book Twice in a Blue Moon, which is out October 22, 2019!  

Patrons will get bonus content with cult questions this week as well! 

Lady Loves: 

Christina: the K-Pop group BTS! They're her happy place.

Lauren: Orange Theory? Well, yes, but also The Right Swipe by Alisha Rai! It's out now! 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Victoria E, you are descended from Brigid, the Celtic Goddess of poetry, healing, and spring, and a protector of livestock and the young. You have an artist’s soul, the work ethic of a meticulous scientist, and an analytical mind that can tackle any problem. Like the season Brigid governs, you rejuvenate everything you lay your eyes on. You pick yourself and your loved ones up because you’re a steadfast champion of well-being in all aspects of life. So, grab a book, a cup of tea, some berries, and curl up with those kitties, because you deserve all the care and contemplation you crave. 

Episode Sponsor! 

Rocking Her Boat is a debut novel by Melanie Edwards! It's got a driven marine biologist heroine and a bad boy rising rock star hero that you should check out immediately! 

Aug 12, 2019
Ep. 97 TRAILER - Chat with Christina Lauren

HOLY OMG YOU GUYS. Erin got to talk to Christina Lauren and you get to listen to it!!!! This Monday, it's ON ^TM. 

Aug 09, 2019
Ep. 96 - Perv by Dakota Gray (PART 2)

Hey HBs! Are you wondering how the story ends for Nate and Robyn? You're in luck because we're here to recap part two of Perv by Dakota Gray! Plus, why is smells, what is time (a flat circle?), how does money, where friendship? But more than anything, TIT SLAPPING! 

Bonus Content: 

Matthew McConaugHEYYYYYY vs. The McConaissance, doggy paddle boarding, Big Al's, doe-shaped eyes, and so much more! 

Make sure to check out our Patreon bonus content at https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast

Subscribe! Rate! Review! 

Merch: Redbubble

And follow our socials: 

Instagram: @heavingbosoms

Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Facebook: facebook.com/heavingbosomspodcast


Aug 05, 2019
Ep. 95 - Perv by Dakota Gray (PART 1)

Hey HBs! We’re here with Perv by Dakota Gray. It has so many things we usually love. Interracial couple! Graphic sex scenes! Kink! Frank sexual health talks! And yet…. It wasn’t for us because Alphaholes aren’t Melody’s thing and Erin … well, Erin explains. It's specific. 

Bonus Content: 

Mel’s brother is now a patron (gah!), Erin is honest to a stranger about what she’s reading, Melody has MANY OPINIONS about alcoholic beverages, the Bachelorette contestant Lil’ Pete, the Wine Aficionado of Cunts, Bing Boong Bong Army with Erin, Bing Boong Bong Sexual Health with Melody, Irrational Assholes and Irrational Alphaholes, Melody explains dental dams, and the Kenny G board game. 

Lady Loves:

Melody - The Dixie Chicks

Erin - Queer Eye Season 4

Patreon Shout Out: 

Ali F, you are a parasitic Arctic ice worm that burrows deep inside the brains of unsuspecting geophysicists, a dog, and at least two FBI Agents that refuse to accept their true feelings for each other. You turn your hosts into murderous psychopaths incapable of controlling their wrath and paranoia. You are ruthless, crafty, and devoted to survival at all costs. It's not the most glamorous job, but you do get to hang out in Alaska, which is pretty cool. Even cooler, you delivered that great scene where Mulder and Scully check each other's bodies for parasitic ice worms. This was very important to Erin in 1993, so she thanks you.  

Jul 29, 2019
Ep. 94 - Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris (PART 2)

Hey HBs! Come join us for the end of Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris! In addition to Sookie and Vampire Bill's HEA (or HFN? WHO KNOWS!), Erin and I tell you all about "The Melody" from Erin's wedding, we hate book Jason but Melody LOOOOOVES TV Jason, we get real with Tweety Bird, and question how we've done orgasms our whole lives? 


Jenny P., you are an acolyte of The Norns, or the Fates of Norse mythology. From Skuld, or she who is becoming, you get your widely celebrated connection to, and ability to interpret, the future. Only someone like you could capture both the beauty and support that tarot has to offer and make it tangible for so many. From Urd, or that which was, you get a millennia of human experience baked into your bones. You draw from this wisdom daily, especially when it counts. Finally from Verdandi, or that which is becoming, you get your impressive ability to be present. No matter what life throws at you, never underestimate the value of just being you when shit inevitably hits the fan. It’s not about saying or doing the “right” thing, it’s about being there for those you love, and your instincts won’t let you do anything else. 


This episode is sponsored by Love and Gravity by Rebel Carter! It's her first rom com and a multicultural STEM Hufflepuff romance with a curvy Latina lab queen and swoon worthy reformed bad boy. One reviewer gushed, "Anton and Grace are hilarious, flawed, sweet people who I fell in love with right away! This book is witty, fun, and emotional. And it has ladies killing it in STEM!”"

Hurry, hurry! Purchase this hilarious novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases! 


Jul 22, 2019
Ep. 93 - Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris (PART 1)

Hey HBs! We're here with part 1 of Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris, the first book in the Southern Vampire series or, as we like to call it, the Sookie Stackhouse series! This was a foundational book in Erin's romance-loving career and she will defend Sookie and Bill's perfection until true death. Meanwhile, Melody is more of a show girl, soooo...

Bonus Content: Erin's post-army haircut!, Mel was a little bored with Sookie (partially because she's not in a great mental/emotional state), Ryan Kwanten doing yoga (drool), the excellence that is Dillards on a sexy vampire, and more! 

Jul 15, 2019
Ep. 92 - Always Be My Maybe

Hey HBs! Due to a gross but minor health issue, Erin was unable to read about sexy vampires last week. So, we put Sookie on hold and discussed everyone’s favorite new Netflix romcom, Always Be My Maybe! Next week we will return to our normal reading list!

Bonus Content: A little on Erin's wedding, loooooots of Keanu love (his thumbs!), and so much more! 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Crystal T, you are a Splintercat, a ferocious feline legend of the Pacific Northwest that has incredible speed, can fly, and has an uncrackable skull. You basically fly at top speed into trees to knock the raccoons and bees out so that you can nom on raccoon meat and honey. You’re apparently the cause of all the dead snag trees seen around the Northwestern United States. There’s a bad rumor that Splintercats are mean and very moody. Lumberjacks are advised to never approach a Splintercat in a bad mood and leave gifts of food when in doubt. It’s not the best reputation, but hey, men leave you alone except to give you free food? If you don’t want that gig, we’ll take it.

Jul 09, 2019
Ep. 92 TRAILER - Always Be My Maybe

Hey HBs! We're coming at you with Netflix movie Always Be My Maybe! Extenuating circumstances made recapping a movie necessary, so come with us on a magical journey with Ali Wong, Randall Park, and (wait for it) KEANU REEVES (the one true chris?). Let's do it! 

Jul 03, 2019
Ep. 91 - Cinnamon Blade: Knife in Shining Armor by Shira Glassman, with JenReadsRomance

Hey y'all! We're here with JenReadsRomance from twitter and Fated Mates Podcast glory to chat about Cinnamon Blade: Knife in Shining Armor by Shira Glassman! It's an f/f novella starring a superhero and a nerdy assistant. There's aliens, there are consent boners, there's public sex, there are puns... in the words of Cin, "heart eyes!" We loved it. 

Plus, lots of Melody and Jen not being able to remember names of movies and important comic book characters, so the usual! 

Self Love Recommendations: 

Melody: Coffee concentrate ice cubes! Yum!

Jen: Do something naughty in the middle of the day. Like have an alcoholic beverage! The light of day makes some regular old things feel illicit and nice. 

Episode Sponsor:

Heart and Hand by Rebel Carter! It’s a menage, mail order bride romance set in Western Times that will melt your heart and set your bathing suit parts alight. Talia Hibbert says "Rebel Carter writes with wit, elegance, and longing. Her love stories exist in a world of their own, and it's one I never want to leave." Hurry, hurry! Purchase this wonderful novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases! 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Misty HL, you are a Joint Snake, a legendary creature from the Southern United States that can break itself or be cut into teeny tiny pieces and magically reassemble like nothing happened. One account says that if the Joint Snake is cut with a knife, it will make the knife into a new piece of itself, making it even stronger than before it was cut. Seriously, do not fuck with this snake, she’ll just use whatever comes at her to come back even stronger. Resilience is her superpower.

Jul 01, 2019
Ep. 90 - Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren (PART 2)

Hey HB's! We're coming at you with Part 2 of Josh and Hazel's Guide to not dating! In which we swoon and try not to read you the entire thing because we love it so muuuuuch. 

Patreon Shout Out! 

Liz Z, you are a Snallygaster, a dragon-like beast that specifically inhabits Frederick County, Maryland. The Snallygaster is half-reptile, half-bird, so basically a badass dinosaur. You swoop silently from the sky to catch your victims and then you suck their blood vampire-style. Your screech is louder than a locomotive whistle and you have an extra eye in the center of your forehead. Seriously, you are a very badass situation. No joke, Teddy Roosevelt considered postponing his African safari to hunt for Snallygasters in the Greater-D.C. Metro Area. This really happened. And he was the President.

Jun 24, 2019
Ep. 89 - Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren (PART 1)

Heyyyyy! We've got some quirky, light adorableness for you! No content warning here except maybe, Get Ready For the Squeeeeee! Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren was everything we could have wished for. Hazel is Melody on cute and cuddly crack, Josh is currently in the running for Best Book Boyfriend of 2019, the angst is low, the steam is high, the voices are FUN, and the romance is super sweet. Just. Lovely. 

Bonus Content: 

Erin gets revenge, we talk about our Patreon fundraiser for the Yellowhammer Fund, Hazel is confidence goals, Mel comes in with some food hot takes, we duel for the stage, Erin comes clean the risks she'll take for free butter cookies, and so much more! 

Episode Sponsor!

New Girl In Town by Rebel Carter. It's an age gap romance with an older heroine who is starting over after leaving an abusive ex-husband. The hero is so sweet and respectful and hot and swoon-worthy. Hurry, hurry! Purchase this wonderful novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases! 

Patreon Shout Out! 

Patricia BM, you are an Agropelter, a fearsome critter that lives in hollow conifer trees from Maine to Oregon. From your vantage point in the trees, you take great joy in pelting unsuspecting lumberjacks with splinters and branches with the speed of a bullet. But probably only those who super deserve it.  There exists no description of what you look like, because you are so quick that you have never been seen by human eyes. However, we all know you’re incredibly gorgeous. You also only have babies in odd numbers and you eat hoot owls and woodpeckers. So you keep on shooting your excellence into the world, Patricia, it’s what you were made for.

Indie Podcast Promo: 

World Stealers from More Banana

Hosts and professional nerds Cait and Liz take deep dives into some of their favorite fandoms and into the amazing corner of the internet that is fanfiction. Covering everything from Star Wars to The Little Mermaid, each episode is a fresh discussion of a new bit of geek culture followed by an original fanfiction, written and read by one of the hosts. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wish they were better at British accents.

Subscribe via AppleStitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Jun 17, 2019
Ep. 89 TRAILER - Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren (PART 1)

Hey HBs! WE HAVE NO CONTENT WARNINGS THIS WEEK!! *heart eyes!* We cover Part 1 of Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren and it was a delight from start to finish. It's wonderful. Come swoon with us. 

Jun 13, 2019
Ep. 88 - Bully by Penelope Douglas (PART 2)

Hey HBs! We're back with the final part of Bully by Penelope Douglas! Hear more about The LOOP!, girl-on-girl crime, sex in an autumn storm, and the caper of a lifetime. 

Bonus Content: Always Be My Maybe, Erin's motorcycle trip and subsequent hypothermia, and Celine Dion's All Coming Back To Me Now music video. 


Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin: Busy Philipps is a QUEEN whose show Busy Tonight got cancelled on E!. And she proceeded to do a meditation on lady love and knowing your worth in the final two episodes. The biggest take away: "you're running a marathon, but the trick when things go sideways, is to realize the marathon you're actually running." 

Melody: Episode 13.5 of Fated Mates called "Freewheeling." It's all about women's bodily autonomy and reproductive issues like pregnancy, miscarriage, still birth, abortion, and more, and centered in romance! 



Be sure to pre-order today's sponsor novel Blood Captive by Kim Loraine for just $0.99! books2read.com/bloodcaptive The novel releases on June 17. 

Here’s the description:

He wanted me for my blood…

Living on the run was all I’d ever known. My life was unstable, but at least I wasn’t alone. That all changed when my mother was murdered.

I ran from the unknown creatures she’d always feared. Until the day I stopped being afraid. That was my first mistake.

Cashel Blackthorne took me as his captive, but more than that, he opened my eyes to the terrible truth of the world. Vampires exist, and I am the key to their salvation.

The Blackthorne vampires need my blood but their prince desires more—me.

There’s something between us neither of us can deny. He is my captor, but I’ll be his ruin.



Michele K, you are a Goofus Bird, a backwards-flying taloned bird of prey that flies backwards and builds your nest upside down. You have a turkey-like head, long green neck with silver scales, a black right wing and a pink left wing, which sounds kind of nuts, but trust us, you’re working it. The Goofus marches to the beat of its own drum. The Goofus is often perceived as silly and aimless, but underestimating you is a big mistake. You know exactly where you’re going and what you’re doing. That’s why you don’t even need to look. Maybe your nest is upside down, or maybe your nest is the only one that’s right-side up.


We're doubling and donating all new and increased Patreon pledges in June and July to the Yellowhammer Fund, so if you're on the fence, now is the time! https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast


Indie Podcast Promo: 

There Will Be Porn with Cait and Murda! 

Vintage Porn recapped by millennial women who are mostly ok with butt stuff.



Jun 10, 2019
Ep. 87 - Bully by Penelope Douglas (PART 1)

Hey HBs! We're here with Bully by Penelope Douglas. It's a new adult romance between middle-aged-sounding high schoolers who used to be best friends until he turned into a super villain and started bullying her. Listen, a lot of it didn't work for us, but the sexy times did. It was also an incredible vehicle for raceway noises, learning about arborists, and Melody climbing so high on an anti slut-shaming soap box that I doubt we'll ever see her again. 

More Bonus Content: 

Erin's got attitude, Mel's got disclaimers, Cult housekeeping, book recs are NEVER a reflection on the person who recommended them, name opinions, Melody cannot let go of all the girl-on-girl crime, *Bing Boong Bong Bird Click* What Are Arborists? with Erin, vrooom vrooom beep beep! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Melody: Please, please, PLEASE donate to The Yellowhammer Fund to help our sisters in Alabama and The National Network of Abortion Funds to help our sisters all over the nation access basic medical care and take charge of their reproductive futures. 

Erin: ... Yasso Greek Yogurt Ice Cream Bars are super good! 

Episode Sponsor:

Heart and Hand by Rebel Carter! It’s a menage, mail order bride romance set in Western Times that will melt your heart and set your bathing suit parts alight. Talia Hibbert says "Rebel Carter writes with wit, elegance, and longing. Her love stories exist in a world of their own, and it's one I never want to leave." Hurry, hurry! Purchase this wonderful novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases! 

Patreon Shout out:

Danellia V, you are a Cactus Cat, a feline of the American Southwest, with hair like thorns and a particularly spiny tail. At night you slash cacti with your sharp tail, and then come back a couple of days later to drink the now-fermented juice. It is said that the Cactus Cat can be heard whooping it up at her very own badass cactus juice party from miles around. You’re basically a home-brew and self-care expert. You’re also immune to scorpions.

Indie Podcast Promo: 

World Stealers from More Banana

Hosts and professional nerds Cait and Liz take deep dives into some of their favorite fandoms and into the amazing corner of the internet that is fanfiction. Covering everything from Star Wars to The Little Mermaid, each episode is a fresh discussion of a new bit of geek culture followed by an original fanfiction, written and read by one of the hosts. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wish they were better at British accents.

Subscribe via Apple, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Jun 03, 2019
Ep. 87 TRAILER - Bully by Penelope Douglas (PART 1)

Hey HBs! Join us on Monday, June 3 for Bully by Penelope Douglas! It's a YA romance that features some really impressive architecture, us making lots of racing noises, and some content warnings: beware of situations involving bullying, casual violence, and sexual assault. Oh! And lots of girl-on-girl crime. Woo! 

May 29, 2019
Ep. 86 - Haven by Rebekah Weatherspoon

This episode, Erin and Melody are talking about Haven by Rebekah Weatherspoon! It's part of her Beards and Bondage series and, really, what more can you ask for, AMIRITE?? Come experience how Claudia and Shep are thrown together by tragedy and discover that the best way forward is through dominance, submission, and the careful application of .... bungee cord. SWOON! 

Bonus Content:

Paradise Hotel (already cancelled!), Erin mutes a cough! Guys! Erin mutes a cough!, Melody discovers a CB radio kink, *Bing Boong Bong* You Need a Lawyer with Erin, the ladies attempt quantum mechanics and NOTHING goes wrong, Erin and Mel realize they're not mathologists, nor penis geometrists, but they might be able to handle penis physics?, #TITSOUTFORBREAKFAST, Sexy Safety with Erin, #nopoopin2020 (hahahahaha, never gonna happen), Shep makes Melody's favorite garment: crotchless leggings. 

Lady Loves: 

Erin: How Did This Get Made's episodes on Little Italy, When Justin Met Kelly, and Speed 2: Cruise Control

Mel: Beware Psychic Vampires and watch Someone Great on Netflix! 

Patreon Shout Out:

Monica M, you are a Glawackus, or Northern Devil Cat, a fearsome critter who makes an impact on everyone you come in contact with. You are a combination of a lion, bear, and a panther known for its bone rattling screech and, of course, your graceful courage. You have eyes that glow like embers, and your gaze is so intense that a lumberjack cannot look into your eyes without forgetting their own name. That definitely sounds like you, lady. Get it.


May 27, 2019
Ep. 86 TRAILER - Haven by Rebekah Weatherspoon

Hey HBs! Join us on Monday, May 27 for Haven by Rebekah Weatherspoon! It's part of her Beards and Bondage series. There are consent boners, there's bondage, there's banter. Most of all, there's HEALING and HOT HOT HOT sex. Hooo dangy. Yes. 

May 23, 2019
Ep. 85 - Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey (PART 2)

Hey HBs! We're back for Part 2 of Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsay! Viking Times continues to be pretty problematic, but with a little escape, imprisonment, kidnapping, and (of course) rape, these two crazy kids end up together. Yay!(??)

Bonus Content: 

*Bing Boong Bong* What are Scandinavian Bears with Melody, the worst one woman show script we've ever read, and "is anyone even listening?" with Erin. 

Lady Loves: 

Melody: the movies Wine Country and Teen Titans GO!

Erin: Fancy French Macaroons! 

Patreon Shout Out!

Becky C, you are a Dungavenhooter, a crocodile-like creature that resides in the Northern Woods of the United States. The Dungavenhooter uses its huge tail to murderlate drunk lumberjacks, then jumps up and down on them until they turn into a vapor that it inhales to live. The only sound you make is a snort, but that’s okay because you can use that for both humor and disapproval, which are really the only two things you need to express anyway. THe world needs more ladies who will take absolutely no shit, so you enjoy inhaling your drunk lumberjacks, girl.

Make sure to subscribe, and rate and review for the bribe! 

May 20, 2019
Ep. 85 TRAILER - Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey (PART 2)

Hey HBs! We're coming at you with part 2 of Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey on Monday, May 20! In addition to how these two crazy kids end up together, we're bringing you delights like "What Are Bears" with Melody and Erin's snippet of the worst one woman show script we've ever read. Woo! 

May 15, 2019
Ep. 84 - Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey (PART 1)

Hey HBs! Oh boooyyyyyy. We're coming at you with Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey! I'm not gonna mince words. We loathed it. I'm not even sure this thing is funny. We did a lot of laughing, but mostly out of discomfort, bafflement, and rage. Part 2 will be funny, though! This is a Viking Times book originally published in 1980 and, while a Johanna Lindsey "bodice ripper" was requested, Melody really out did herself with this particular choice. We've got Vikings, betrayal, slavery, so. much. rape., and ... arms akimbo! 

CONTENT WARNING: slavery, rape, assault, other various sexual assaults, kidnapping, and more. 


To the ultimate Queen of Pentacles: Happy birthday to Holly the woman who does it all, from flourishing at work, to hosting an excellent podcast, to nurturing your King of Pentacles and sweet rascal Mac, you’re a force to be reckoned with and your friends, especially Esther, hope you have an amazing birthday week.


Jennifer LB, you are descended from Hestia, the goddess of the hearth, architecture, and good order in all things. You may be an introvert, but you possess Hestia’s inviting warmth down to your core. The hearth was the center of every household and, so too. you are the center and glue of your family. Your tender nurturing, balanced with your scorching wit, are irreplaceable. And Hestia would be beyond proud of how you wield the Dewey decimal system. After all, what's more orderly than the miles of well organized bookshelves you preside over? 

Indie Podcast Promo: 

There Will Be Porn with Cait and Murda! 

Vintage Porn recapped by millennial women who are mostly ok with butt stuff.



May 13, 2019
Ep. 84 TRAILER - Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey (PART 1)

On Monday, May 13 we're bringing you Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey! I'm gonna be super transparent, this is only Part 1 because our delicate sensibilities couldn't handle what this VikingTimes bodice ripper served up. There's snark, there's cackling, there's uncomfortable cry-laughing. But really, what do you expect when we attempt to navigate all the sexual assaults? There's like 50, minimum. 

CONTENT WARNING: sexual assault, rape, kidnapping, slavery

May 08, 2019
Ep. 83 - Barbarian's Mate by Ruby Dixon (Ice Planet Barbarians #7)

Hey HB's! We've got more Melody catnip: alien erotic romance! We're talking about Barbarian's Mate, the 7th installment of the Ice Planet Barbarians series. We've got Josie, the last of the original women to resonate, and Haeden, the grumpiest 7 foot blue alien a girl could ask for. But dudes! He's not grumpy! He's a secret cinnamon roll who just can't stop spilling in his loin cloth! This duke is a virgin and he's the virgin duke of her secret dreams. 

Bonus Content: 

Potty training, our humble comments on the title (get @ us authors, we offer our services to all), new segment transition: *Beep Boop Bird Click*, IUD hijinks, taking someone to your FURS, faking farts to hide your true love, luxury caves, lady nectar, heavy balls, spurs, sexy papoose, and how to not be a Romeo. 

Lady Loves: 

Erin: Maybelline Super Stay Matte in Self Starter (which she now concedes is the best lipstick on the market)

Melody: Make good choices for yourself, like not furtively eating frosting with a spoon like a Gollum.

For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!

Patreon Shout Out: 

Whitney J. You are descended from Poseidon. Just like the god of the sea, horses, and earthquakes, you know how to juggle everything within your domain to perfection. You possess the depth and power of the sea, with a good sense of when to go with the flow. You have the loyalty, dependability, and high spirit of the fastest steed. And you have not only the wisdom and foresight to know when things need to be shaken up, but the courage to follow through. You love boundlessly and are fearsome when defending your domain.


May 06, 2019
Ep. 82 - 99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne (PART 2)

Hey all! We're back with part 2 of 99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne! Darcy and her werve Tom get steamy in a bar, make us shout "It's ON (TM) in the best ways, and force us to read too many gorgeous passages at an almost compulsive level.

Bonus Content: Tiffany Reisz got Melody a birthday present in her release of The Rose, Erin chats about the Bananas Books panel at Kiss Con, we plug Read Me Romance podcast, we share our wisdom about hard work bodies, Erin makes it clear that she DIDN'T objectify that man out loud... at first, we take a hard stand that we want only the most rational asshole, Erin shows her tarot prowess, you get a peek at our editing stratagems, Erin noodles, *Bing Boong Bong* Turtle Time with Erin and Melody. 

Lady Loves: 

Mel: C-section support panties are gonna be a great hack to get you close to the glory of underswears. Just get out that embroidery needle or iron-on kit and go to town! 

Erin: Lizzo's new album Cuz I Love You. AMAZING lady love. 

Check out Read Me Romance podcast! 

iTunes https://apple.co/2zWd7tX
Google Play https://bit.ly/2AGnL9v
Spotify  https://spoti.fi/2FFs205
Stitcher https://bit.ly/2yX2zeH

Patreon Shout Out: 

Shevaun B, you are descended from Aglaea, one of the three graces who was known for beauty, splendor, glory, and adornment. You’ve taken what could be a lovely, yet shallow legacy and turned it into something truly inspiring. You understand the most important thing is to cultivate the beauty of your interior, so you take time and effort to learn and grow both intellectually and emotionally. You glorify your relationships with care and respect. You realize that true splendor lies in good food and even better company. And you adorn your beings with the hallmarks of a life well-lived: love, laughter, loyalty, and longevity. 

Apr 29, 2019
Ep. 81 - 99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne (PART 1)

Hey HB's! We're coming in hot after 2 weeks of being away from each other while Erin was traveling. And we've got 99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne! It's her second novel and it's just as quirky, funny, beautiful, and romantic, plus it's packing some extra depth with a heroine on the road to healing and a hero who's trying not to buckle under the pressure the world puts on him. Childhood friends! Tiny dogs! Sugar addiction! Fortune telling Grandma! Contemporary WERVE! It's got everything.

Bonus Content: 

Erin's EPIC first meeting with Sally Thorne. 

Lady Loves: 

Melody: Get yourself a big change if you're feeling like you're in a rut. This haircut was everything I needed and more. 

Erin: Read the Behind the Book Essay in this novel. Sally Thorne had to start over from scratch in the face of The Hating Game's huge, unexpected success and she wrote this book with her sweat and tears and worry and above all, her insane talent and voice. She uses this essay to inspire readers to finish whatever impossible thing they've started because "whether it's a success or a failure, no one can take your The End prize away from you." 


Brittany B, you are a Nereid, a sea nymph who represents all of the best parts of the ocean. Your personality is kind as a helpful current, your intellect as bountiful as an untouched coral reef, your heart as deep and wide as the Mariana Trench, and your wit as quick as a darting fish. People should know not to mess with you, though, because you've got riptides and crashing waves enough to protect you and everyone you love. Nereids are represented by beautiful maidens and girl, you got that going on, too.

Apr 22, 2019
BONUS BOSOMS: Introducing Purple Panties

Hey HB's! On April 22, we're delivering 99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne! Friends, we loved it. We loved it so much. So this will be part 1!




And until then, we want to tell you about a new podcast: Purple Panties is an erotic fiction story created by New York Times best selling author Zane. On the outside Maddox, Loren and Stephanie go against the grain when it comes to sex. But as relationships shift and physical needs change, can they keep up with the facade? Follow them on their journey as they navigate their professional and personal lives. The sun isn’t the only thing hot in Atlanta… Listen to Purple Panties now: purplepantiespodcast.com

Apr 17, 2019
Ep. 80 - Can't Escape Love by Alyssa Cole with Sara Netzley

Hey friends! Melody is joined by friend of the pod and Golden Heart Finalist Sara Netzley AKA Sara Whitney! We're coming at you with a DELICIOUS novella by Alyssa Cole, Can't Escape Love! It's part of her Reluctant Royals series, where Portia's twin sister Reggie gets her HEA with the puzzle nerd of her dreams. It's adorable, it's smart, it's witty, it's super sexy. And it's a great primer for A Prince On Paper, which comes out on April 30! 

Bonus Content: Kiss Con Jealousy, salad dressing, and more chats about open-eyed kissing! 

Lady Loves: 

Sara: the mid-2000's TV show Chuck, staring Zachary Levi and Yvonne Strahovski (StraHOTski!). 

Melody: Oreos, but more than that, recognize when something will be good for you, even if you need to reframe your mindset or pump yourself up to get there and DO IT!

Apr 15, 2019
Ep. 79 - The Cutting Edge with Erin and Cole, via The Cigarette Burns Podcast

Hey HB's! Erin joined cult favorite Cole on his podcast to recap the best rom com of all time, The Cutting Edge. As a former competitive figure skater and semi-professional podcaster, Erin jumps right in and tells Cole what he’s been getting wrong in the podcast (a lot), drops scorching hot takes, and gives you all the on-the-ice details you need. Don't worry guys, she's only seen this movie at least 185 times and she STILL took detailed notes. Listen to just how deadly the “Pamchenko Twist” is, why Olympic figure skating shouldn’t be done in the dark, and Erin’s theory about Terry O’Quinn’s acting method (hint: it all starts with facial hair). “Toepiiiiiiiiick!!!!" 

Follow the Cigarette Burns Pod on social media! Instagram and Twitter: @cigburnspod

Thank you to all of our patrons! If you want to join the ranks head to https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast

Thank you to everyone who's subscribed, rated, and reviewed! It helps us so much! 

Follow us on social media! 

Instagram: @heavingbosoms

Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Facebook: Heaving Bosoms Podcast

Closed Facebook Group: The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult


Patreon Shout Out: 

Sarah B., you are Thalia, one of the Graces, and the goddess of Festivity and Banquets. You have a warm, enthusiastic personality, and a smile that can light up any room. While not in the mood to entertain all the time, you still use your welcoming effervescence to put anyone you come in contact with at ease. You have a deep well of love and your friends really appreciate the way you tailor your affection to suit each and every one individually.

Apr 08, 2019
Ep. 78 - Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell (PART 2)

Hey HB's! Happy Monday! Are you ready for the conclusion of Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell? The slow burn is about to pay off! Plus, this excellent romance turns into an all-out action movie we want to see. 

 Bonus Content: 

Melody's serious face, hair falling out by the fistful, the Chris EVANS Mountain Lodge candle from Yankee Candle, all of the amazing and hilarious cult videos about the candle, don't you dare touch our spanx, the well-known Constantinople Wagon, a Colorado acre, Snoot Boopers: Equine Edition, and so much more!  

Sponsored by Through the Red Door by Sadira Stone! You can find her debut contemporary novel on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Googleplay, Overdrive, Kobo, and iTunes!


Letting him inside could be her salvation…or her undoing.

Clara Martelli clings to Book Nirvana, the Oregon bookshop she and her late husband Jared built together. When rising rents and corporate competition threaten its survival, her best hope is their extensive erotica collection, locked behind a red door. In dreams and signs, her dead husband tells her it's time to open that door and move on. When a dark and handsome stranger's powerful magnetism jolts her back to life and he wants a look at the treasures of that secret room, she can't help but want to show him more.

Professor Nick Papadopoulos is looking for historical erotica. Book Nirvana's collection surpasses his wildest dreams, and so does its lovely owner. A widower, he understands Clara's battle with guilt, but their searing chemistry is too strong to resist. Besides, he will only be in town for two weeks, not long enough for her to see beyond the scandal that haunts his past.

Patreon Shout Out!

Shante G., you are an acolyte of Iris, Greek goddess of the Rainbow and messenger for the gods. Just like Iris, your specialty is helping people get their messages out to the world, helping them curate their ideas to have the most impact. But, lady, you do it with passion and pizzazz. You bring the full spectrum of verve to everything you do, because you can’t help but be the personification of a rainbow. For many coastal-dwelling Greeks, rainbows would appear to arc from the ocean up into the clouds, so they believed that Iris replenished the rain clouds with water. Just like her, you rejuvenate everyone you come in contact with because of your positivity and love.


Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review. And follow us on all the socials! 


Apr 01, 2019
Ep. 78 TRAILER - Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold (PART 2) & The Cigarette Burns Podcast!

Hey HB's! We're bringing you the second and final part of Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell! That's on Monday, April 1. 

Plus, you can have so much Erin because she's guest hosting on The Cigarette Burns Podcast on the same day! She and your friend Cole, King of Cracker Barrell and all-around movie buff, are talking about The Cutting Edge! It's one of Erin's all time favorite movies because 1) enemies-to-lovers 2) figure skater and hockey hunk 3) "toe pick!" 

You don't want to miss either of these episodes! 


The Cigarette Burns is a podcast for movie and TV lovers where you can listen to *usually* two guys discuss, debate, worship, and poke some fun at all their favorite things coming out of Hollywood. Hosted by Cole Williams and Jedd Weise. 

Facebook: Cigarette Burns: A Movie Podcast
Twitter and Instagram:  @cigburnspod
Mar 28, 2019
Ep. 77 - Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell (PART 1)

Hey HB's! This here is Part 1 of Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell. We've got an interracial relationship which starts with a traumatic shotgun wedding, a slow-burn romance that pays off (in our next episode), and so much action and world-building we couldn't do it all justice. This book is an excellent western and an excellent romance, but we have some content warnings! There are depictions of assault, sexual assault, animal abuse, racism, and more. 

Bonus Content: Alaskan minigolf and a hibachi engagement, new time period thanks to HB Fanny - Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman Times!, Melody gets a visceral education about the word mongrel, cowboy leans, Erin has udder questions, Melody brings the club to the country with abs, abs, abs, DICK!, Melody decides that Hapa is an acceptable term to use for the hero, who is half Native American, half white, because that's the accepted and celebrated term she grew up with in Hawaii for mixed-race babies and what she calls her own children, hilarious practical jokes in Dr. Quinn Times, how we imagine Ann C. listens to the podcast, and so much more. 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin: You can curl your hair with a skinny strightening iron! 

Melody: SPF - get it on your face. 

Episode Sponsor: 

Bubbles and Books!

Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order!

Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night" 




Patreon Shout Out! 

Bethany M., you are smiled upon by Hi'iaka, the Hawaiian goddess of hula, chants, sorcery, and medicine. Hi'iaka was known for her loyalty, dedication, kindness, and bravery. Like her, you will take up perilous quests for those you love, whether they deserve it or not. Hi'iaka helped the people of Hawaii express themselves through hula and song and you similarly use your technological skills to do the same. And if she had bluetooth, you bet believe there would have been more than one mishap as she consumed her smut. Most of all, you're beautiful on the inside and out, and will be rewarded just as she was. 

Mar 25, 2019
Ep. 77 TRAILER - Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell

Hey HB's! On Monday, March 25th we're coming at you with Part 1 of Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell. It's a Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman Times book about a literal shotgun wedding between an affluent white woman and a half white, half Native American man with a reputation for danger. It's a slow burn romance with a whole bunch of added action and intrigue. 

Content warnings: assault, sexual assault, and abuse.  

Mar 20, 2019
Ep. 76 - The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory

Hey HB's! We're here with The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory. It's a contemporary, BWWM romance that's... mostly about donuts and coffee? THAT'S UNFAIR. Listen, we really wanted to love this one and we didn't. 

BONUS CONTENT: Hey skippers! You're in luck because Erin is over banter. Melody might be extra critical because she's acclimating to her hormonal IUD, but she doesn't think that's the problem. Awkwardness that can happen in interracial relationships, illegible muppet notes, has Erin been to her own wedding?, Michael's secret Toy Story obsession, bathroom trips with friends new and old, that one wedding where Erin was double-fisting double gins and Melody was heaping dairy on her plate (intolerance be damned), tip-of-the-nose-kissing gets a boop on the snoot, Snoot Boopers: a new show for dogs, *BING BOONG BONG* HIPAA Violations with Erin, and the problem with depictions of body issues with no orgasmic band-aid.

We mention Black Chick Lit Podcast and Lacey's GoodReads review of The Proposal! Check them both out! Twitter: @blackchicklit, Instagram: @bclpodcast

Not Your Mom's Romance Book Club also has a review about this novel! Twitter and Instagram: @notyourmomsrom

Self Love Recommendations: 

Melody: don't feel bad about DNFing a book. Read something you know you'll love like I did with Surrender to Sin and The Devil's Submission by Nicola Davidson. 

Erin: You guys there's this new show called Snoot Boopers that's a riot and a half. So if you're a dog in a TV rut, check that nonsense out!

Episode Sponsor: 

Bubbles and Books!

Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order!

Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night" 




Patreon Shout Out! 

Sarah E., you are a Ghost Writer. No, not someone who helps authors finish their manuscripts, but rather a shy, friendly ghost that rearranges text to solve cozy mysteries, correct grammar, help children learn, and basically make everything better. Ghost writers are known to travel through time, illuminating historical texts for today’s readers and giving new voice to history. They are known to hang out with Jamal, Gabby and the gang in Brooklyn in 1995, but also curled up with a cup of tea and a feline companion when not on the job. In related news, boy, do we hope you watched the American kids TV show, Ghostwriter.

Mar 18, 2019
Ep. 76 TRAILER - The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory

Join us next week for The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory! Gotta be honest, we didn't love it. At all. But come talk about all the donuts, coffee, tacos, and an incredible inability to make important words at a romantic partner. Woo! 

Mar 15, 2019
Ep. 75 - A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas (PART 2)

It's our 75th episode and we're here for the conclusion of A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas! Feyre and Rhysand are working together, spying badly, dry humping in the Court of Nightmares, and FALLING LURVE FOREVER. 

Bonus Content: Pleasure Barges, Scrotal Wings, IUD's, *Bing Boong Bong* Immortality Bathtubs with Erin, and so much more. 

Lady Loves: 

Erin: The Shkoop! A staple of arctic fashion. 

Melody: Get yourself some clothes that fit. Waiting until you lose that *X* amount of lbs and fit into your pants again just makes you needlessly feel terrible about yourself. Dress the body you've got because it's wonderful and gorgeous and good to you. 

Check out out PATREON to see all the awesome benefits you can get by supporting us! 

Patreon Shout Out! 

Ashley M., you are the Loch Ness Monster. Hear us out. Deep in what appears to be a quiet sea of cubicles, lurks an HB with some serious smut in her headphones. Like Nessie, you are more than happy to submerge with a good book or reality show for a few hundred years, and you only show your scales when absolutely necessary – to stand up for what you believe in, or to protect your beloved home, family, and furbabies. Most of all, like the magical, immortal creature of the Loch, you are absolutely one of a kind.


Want to advertise on the podcast? Email heavingbosomspodcast@gmail.com for our rates! 

Mar 11, 2019
Ep. 74 - A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas (PART 1)

Hey HB's!! IT'S TIME! We're finally talking about A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas! It's book 2 of her Court of Thorns and Roses Series. We've got Feyre out from under the mountain and engaged to that dumb dummy Tamlin, but not for long! Then it's all night court all the time. 

SKIPPERS! Skip to 20:35 if you want to get straight to the book. You're gonna miss out on Ripped Bodice, though. 

Bonus Content: Blood sharing, new names for book 1, Erin's Pilgrimage to The Ripped Bodice, Sexy Night King sexiness, "Schmerger," Spring Court: The Taint of Fairyland, Erin still refuses to learn or remember names, #feministfaeisbae, *Bing Boong Bong* Tamlin's Not that Bad with Erin, *Bing Boong Bong* Tamlin is a Big Dumb Dummy with Melody, Water Wraith Drummer Boys, and the best, most delicious Brownie Batter metaphor you've ever heard. YUM. 

Self Love Recommendations: 

Erin: The Magicians Season 4 and Little Italy, a terribly wonderful movie on Amazon Prime

Melody: Big Mouth Season 2 and "We're all a little broken, that's how the light gets in"

Episode Sponsor: 

Bubbles and Books!

Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order!

Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night" 




Patreon Shout Out! 

Blair B., you are a Basilisk. You are a great serpent queen with a deadly glare, turning lesser beings to stone with just one glance. Leaving deadly venom in your wake for all those deserving of your ire, you are one badass lady. According to our online research, you only have two weaknesses: the odor of weasels (weird, right?) and preteen Gryffindors, so watch out for that. Otherwise, you are pretty much the queen of everything.

Mar 04, 2019
Ep. 74 TRAILER - A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas (PART 1)

Hey HB's! Join us on Monday, March 4th for Part 1 of A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas! It's book two of her A Court of Thorns and Roses series wherein we get ALL NIGHT KING ALL THE TIME! YAAAASSSSS Rhysand, High Lord of our hearts and bathing suit parts. This YA fantasy novel delivers a slow burn that will melt your face. 

Make sure to follow us on all the places! Patreon, for bonus content, Instagram for reading lists and sweet bookstagram pics, Twitter for more of that and random thoughts and convos, Facebook for even more of us, and our Facebook Group, the happiest place on the internet! 

Feb 27, 2019
Ep. 73 - The Seduction of Viscount Vice by Nicola Davidson

Erin and Melody discuss The Seduction of Viscount Vice by Nicola Davidson. It's a DELICIOUS England Times/Highlander Times 2nd chance love story between a burly Highlander and the lass he thought was dead. There's also the pleasure club he owns, the pleasure club she's helping to open by spying on him, excellent side characters, betrayal, and sexy exhibitionism! 

Bonus Content: 

Mel talks about experiencing postpartum anxiety, Erin woke up feeling REAL ok with not having any responsibility this morning, apple tarts, Prince Thabiso makes a cameo, flirting via cakes, awarding the Heaving Bosoms Cunt Award, highlander hair salon dreams, PIRATE QUEENS, sexy theater directions, Sexy Pied Pipers, and so much more! 

Lady Loves: 

Erin: The Spanx Pillow Cup Signature Pushup Plunge Bra. It's got memory foam cups! 

Melody: Take care of yourself, forgive yourself, and don't forget to do something you love, even when you're not quite feeling up to it. Your day will improve! 

Episode Sponsor: 

Bubbles and Books!

Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order!

Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night" 




Patreon Shout Out! 

Dani R., you are a Manticore. With the body of a great cat, the spiny tail of a scorpion, and the face of a beautiful woman, you are known for your ability to be many things at once – majestic, snuggly, cunning, lethal, and of course, drop dead gorgeous. A worldly being, you have components from Egypt, Persia, and India, picking up knowledge and skills wherever you go. Sure, you also eat human flesh, but we’re sure it’s only when you got reasons.


Feb 25, 2019
Ep. 73 TRAILER - The Seduction of Viscount Vice by Nicola Davidson

Join us on Monday, February 25th for The Seduction of Viscount Vice by Nicola Davidson! It's an Englandtimes/Highlandtimes book set in a London pleasure club! 2nd chance romance, exhibitionism, hot Highland warriors! MMmmmmm. 

Feb 20, 2019
Ep. 72 - Tikka Chance On Me by Suleikha Snyder

Hey HB's! This week Erin is telling Melody all about Tikka Chance On Me by Suleikha Snyder. It's a delicious novella about a motorcycle club enforcer (or so we think!) and the dutiful daughter working at her parent's Indian restaurant. After months of eyeboning, they learn that the only thing this Chris Evans lookalike might love more than samosas is the Heroine. 

Bonus Content: 

Sing Movie takeover, the Lunar Eclypse in Alaska, Doggy Genetics, how we'd handle a cease and desist order (with champagne!), and the fact that we can't handle it when Romancelandia is angry. 

Lady Loves: 

Erin - Schitt's Creek. Come for the Canadian sitcom, but stay for the best portrayal of a gay romance that she's seen in a while. 

Melody - the band Me First and the Gimme Gimmes! If you love dancing like a fool to punk covers of great songs, these cats are for you! They're happiness in your speakers. 

Patreon Shout Out: 

This is a gifted shout out from Susan. Sarah R., you are descended from Maui, the great demigod if Polynesia. Maui was a trickster, a creator, and a survivor. Like Maui, you are beloved for your selfless sense of caring and protection. Maui pulled the Hawaiian islands from the bottom of the ocean and defeated Tuna The Long Eel; similarly, you will bend over backwards to make miracles happen for those you love. And the trickster isn’t quite out of your system. Your red hot sense of humor keeps everyone in belly laughs, and in check, when you’re in their orbit. Maui was dedicated to making the world a better place for all humans and that lives on in you. Your commitment to serving our country, your family, your rescue animals, and your tireless, sometimes biting positivity make him proud. And on a very personal and immediate level: Lady, you’ve got an entire cult, an entire coven behind you. Your light cannot be diminished.

Feb 18, 2019
Ep. 72 TRAILER - Tikka Chance on Me by Suleikha Snyder

Hey HB's! On Monday, February 18, Erin is telling Melody all about Tikka Chance on Me by Suleikha Snyder. This biker/law enforcement novella is charming and hot from start to finish. Get stoked!

Feb 13, 2019
Ep. 71 - Maternity Leave Roundup

We're BAAAAAAAAACK! It's Erin. It's Melody. TOGETHER AGAIN! In this episode we chat a bit about what we did over maternity leave, but mostly we talk about all about the books we read (listed below) and the 2019 HB Reading Embrace! 

- Merry Inkmas by Talia Hibbert

- A Girl Like Her by Talia Hibbert

- Untouchable: A Small Town Romance by Talia Hibbert

- Just For Him Complete Series by Talia Hibbert

- Dare to Love a Duke by Eva Leigh

- Fair, Bright, and Terrible by Elizabeth Kingston

- A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas

- A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas

- Once Ghosted, Twice Shy by Alyssa Cole

- The Scarlett Letters: My Secret Year of Men in an LA Dungeon by Jenny Nordbak

- Heart and Hand by Rebel Carter

Bonus Content: 

Breastfeeding friendship mishaps because Valor is a special guest!

Patreon Shout Out: 

Kathy, you are descended from the Hippocampus; the half horse, half sea creature who was often depicted pulling Poseidon's chariot. Like the Hippocampus, you're graceful and agile, if not always physically, definitely mentally. Your conversation flows due to your creativity, imagination, and easy empathy. Your pack animal ancestor was known to live deep in the ocean, away from the tumult of the surface and, likewise, you crave time in your refuge to recharge, soaking up the tranquility and loyalty of your inner circle. Sailors considered the Hippocampus a good omen because they were a gentle, care-taking creature. Those qualities are reflected in your deep, soulful eyes, while the sparkle and fine laugh lines are a reflection of the joy you take in the choices you've made.

Feb 11, 2019
Ep. 71 TRAILER - Maternity Leave Roundup

Hey HB's! Join us on Monday for our first episode back together from maternity leave! We discuss the books we read when we didn't have a set list, we chat about some of the happenings while we weren't recording, and there may be some breastfeeding revelations. Yay! 

Feb 09, 2019
Ep. 70 - And Playing the Role of Herself by KE Lane
It's our final guest-hosted episode and our first all-lady romance as Erin and her friend Liz dive into And Playing the Role of Herself by K.E. Lane. This is a steamy contemporary about two actresses on a Law and Order-style TV show -- one that can't stop being a total bitch, and one that can't stop getting horribly injured. It's fitting that this was our first, because it seems to be the first lesbian romance for a lot of romance readers! If you've ever thought about or read Law and Order: SVU fan fiction, this one is for you!
Bonus Content: Morning breath issues, toe rings, confusing spit takes, noises we make when we really appreciate food, swiping right on a clitoris, obscure references from The Bachelor and Days of Our Lives, the cookie diet, the mysterious way Erin's cats died, lesbian love sex, and plenty of Law and Order: SVU discussion.
Lady Loves:
Erin: The new Kindle Paperwhite
Liz: The Wirecutter, Sweethome, and The Strategist for every purchase you make.
Feb 04, 2019
Ep. 70 TRAILER - And Playing the Role of Herself by KE Lane

Hey HB's! Join us on Feb 4 for the last of our maternity leave guest hosts! Erin and her long-time friend Liz recap And Playing the Role of Herself by KE Lane. It's a super sexy, angsty tale of two actors in a Law and Order style show and our first wide-release lesbian novel! See you Monday! 

Jan 30, 2019
Ep. 69 - A Soldier's Scoundrel by Cat Sebastian (PART 2)

Hey HB's! Tanya's here with Melody for the final part of Cat Sebastian's A Soldier's Scoundrel! Jack and Oliver figure out the mystery of the stolen letters, have some VERY SEXY sexy time, and get their HEA. 

Bonus Content: 

*Bing Boong Bong* Anal Sex with Tanya, Talent Boners, Melody's inability to say the phrase worcestershire sauce, Sara N's personal library, and how to be a good friend with a library.

Lady Loves: 

Tanya: Three lady-led TV shows that are great! The Bold Type on Freeform, Imposters on Bravo, and Killjoys on SciFi. 

Melody: Deep condition your hair! Sometimes, it's just as effective as a trip to refresh your locks. 

Tanya: It's never too late! If you need to uproot your life to make an important change, then UPROOT YOUR LIFE! Tanya went back to finish her degree at 37 and is now completing her Masters degree! 

Jan 28, 2019
Ep. 68 - A Soldier's Scoundrel by Cat Sebastian (PART 1)

Hey HB's! It's the next episode of maternity leave line up, featuring TANYA! Oh that's right, Tanya from A Knight in Shining Armor fame and glory. Don't worry, she says her piece here. 

This week, we're covering part 1 of A Soldier's Scoundrel by Cat Sebastian. It's a queer romance featuring an injured veteran gentleman and a criminal-turned-fixer from the streets. Will they solve the case of the Lady's missing letters? And will they be able to suppress their own desires long enough to do so with their hearts uncompromised? 

Bonus Content: A little about our friendship, the England Times gay scene, and the vehicle we're calling The Jeep of England Times. 

Jan 21, 2019
Ep. 68 - The Soldier's Scoundrel by Cat Sebastian (PART 1)

Hey HB's! It's the next episode of maternity leave line up, featuring TANYA! Oh that's right, Tanya from A Knight in Shining Armor fame and glory. Don't worry, she says her piece here. 

This week, we're covering part 1 of A Soldier's Scoundrel by Cat Sebastian. It's a queer romance featuring an injured veteran gentleman and a criminal-turned-fixer from the streets. Will they solve the case of the Lady's missing letters? And will they be able to suppress their own desires long enough to do so with their hearts uncompromised? 

Bonus Content: A little about our friendship, the England Times gay scene, and the vehicle we're calling The Jeep of England Times. 

Jan 21, 2019
Ep. 67 - Priest by Sierra Simone with special guest Jenny Nordbak

Hey all! We have a special guest for you! JENNY NORDBAK FROM THE WICKED WALLFLOWERS CLUB PODCAST! *squeee!* 

Jenny and I talk all about Priest by Sierra Simone. A gorgeous tale about a Priest who's tempted for the first time when he meets a new resident in town. He's got a six pack and a dominant side, and while she's looking for direction for herself, they just might be each other's salvation... or undoing. The squee is real in this episode, y'all. Melody might reach pitches only dogs can hear at times. 

Bonus content: Jenny's book The Scarlett Letters: My Secret Year of Men in an LA Dungeon, SchemePod, drunk yoga, BUTT STUFF, and more! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Melody: Put cinnamon directly into your french press when you make winter coffee. Yum! 

Jenny: So Beautifully Broken Jewelry. A fellow book lover makes beautiful custom jewelry with many of our favorite lines of books and other motivational sayings. 


Instagram: @terriellenburg


Jan 14, 2019
Ep. 67 TRAILER - Priest by Sierra Simone

Hey HB's! This week, we've got Jenny Nordbak from the Wicked Wallflowers Club with us! She and Melody discuss Priest by Sierra Simone, Jenny's memoir The Scarlett Letters, sex work, and empowered submissives! Plus gush about this WONDERFUL book. 

Jan 09, 2019
Ep. 66 - Beautiful Player by Christina Lauren

Oh HBs, do we have a treat for you! Erin and Sara Netzley of The DC TV Report podcast sit down to gush and giggle over Beautiful Player by Christina Lauren, a sweet(but hot) contemporary with more internal conflict than we could handle at times. This one features overworked scientist Hannah and her older brother’s hot friend, Will. If you like outspoken heroines and reformed players, this one is for you!

BONUS CONTENT: “Nerd Lingo with Sara,” names for hats, the merits of having a murdery boyfriend, the dos and don'ts of food and sex, “Sexual Safety without Mel,” rules for putting Jesus statues in your cleavage, and pooping in ditches at Disney World.

Lady Loves: The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, and My Dad Wrote a Porno

Jan 07, 2019
Ep. 66 TRAILER - Beautiful Player by Christina Lauren

Hey HB's! It's maternity leave episode number 2!!! Erin and Sara Netzley take a deep dive into Beautiful Player by Christina Lauren. Sara has a podcast called The DC TV Report all about the wonderful world that is CW Superhero Shows, so check it out! 

Jan 02, 2019
Ep. 65 - The Marriage Contract by Katee Robert

This week Erin teamed up with her friend of fifteen years, Cole, a straight man and novice romance reader, to read The Marriage Contract by Katee Robert. It's a romantic suspense story set in the seedy world of Boston's Irish mafia (or underground?). Do you like Logistics with Erin? Because this episode is basically a two-hour rant about how the mafia and FBI work, with some high praise for *very* good sexytimes, banter, and dirty talk! Plus, we've got in-depth discussions of the critically acclaimed masterpiece, We Bought a Zoo, high school plays, the Bold and the Beautiful, the secret reason Cole needs to go to the Cracker Barrel in Victorville, and more movie references than any of you ever wanted. Spot Conlon! Brooklyn!  

Patreon Shout Out: 

Bridget M., you are a modern-day high priestess of Nike, the goddess of strength and victory. As a devout worshipper, you know your goddess has been a little misunderstood over the years, because there’s more to life than just winning. Nike is the deity of all the hard work and training that has to go into any endeavor before victory can be assured. Like your lady, you know that self-improvement can always be attained with the right attitude, tools, and sense of commitment that is bones-deep. More than that, you have come around to the notion that you, just as you are, are worth all the effort and long-hours. Furthermore, you’re the embodiment of Nike’s most well-known role in ancient times: divine charioteer. Just like she flew around battlefields rewarding victors with glory and fame, you lift up those around you daily. You’re an amazing role model not only because of your hard work, but because of your innate sense that a rising tide lifts all boats. You’re the cheerleader everyone needs and they can’t help but be inspired by your actions as well as your effervescent support.

Dec 31, 2018
Ep. 65 TRAILER - The Marriage Contract by Katee Robert

Hey HB's! It's our first maternity leave episode! Erin and her long-time friend Cole read the first of the O'Malley's Series, The Marriage Contract by Katee Robert. Cole is a recent convert to romance and they're both lawyers, so if you like *Bing Boong Bong* Logistics and Law & Order with Erin, you're going to love this! And if you love bad boys and criminal syndicates and HOLY MOLY SEXY TIMES, you'll love the book! 

Dec 26, 2018
Ep. 64 - Christmas Wedding Planner (Netflix Movie)

It's here, it's HERE, the MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! The stockings are hung, Melody is wrapped in her Reindeer Onesie, knowing the Reindeer Mafia will protect every HB, and we've got basically unlimited access to ALL THE CHRISTMAS LOVE MOVIES. This episode we recap Christmas Wedding Planner. There's, you guessed it, a plucky wedding planner, a PI who's not afraid to ruin everything, and a mystery surrounding the groom-to-be. Will two actors with absolutely zero chemistry fall in lo--WAIT, IS THAT JOEY FATONE? Indeed it is! 

Bonus Content: You guys, as of recording Melody is SO PREGNANT. STILL. Also, Deathly Hallows concerts, fried chicken scones, mean mugging, set design excellence, a Melody reaction involving a mahogany desk that Erin wasn't expecting, JOEY FATONE, Melody's excellent impressions, and so much cackling we may have hit our limit. 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Ushma P., you are a descendent and acolyte of Euphrosyne, one of the three Greek Charities, or Graces. They were responsible for spreading joy and cheer throughout the world, and Euphrosyne in particular was the embodiment of beauty and grace. Ushma, you bring the same enthusiasm and mirth to any task you take on. Like the Graces, you know that a smile and positive attitude can make any situation, no matter how serious, more palatable, and your outlook is a ray of sunshine to anyone you meet. Do you govern your entire life with frivolity? Absolutely not. Instead, you know that the best launching pad for any interaction is kindness and you will offer others the benefit of the doubt as much as humanly possible. However, you’re also not one to let opportunities pass you by in favor of passing fancies, nor will you be anyone’s doormat. Instead, you see every occasion as an opportunity for betterment, whether it’s for yourself or the world at large. Your big heart and sunny disposition give you great power for good.

Dec 24, 2018
Ep. 64 TRAILER - The Christmas Wedding Planner (Netflix Movie)

Hey HB's! We're coming at you on December 24 with Netflix Movie "The Christmas Wedding Planner." We've got an amazingly developed plot that prompts absolutely no questions whatsoever, some incredible mean mugging, and Melody's impressions which really bring the experience to life. Get stoked! 

Dec 19, 2018
Ep. 63 - How The Dukes Stole Christmas, an Anthology by Tessa Dare, Sarah MacLean, Sophie Jordan, and Joanna Shupe

Hey HB's! We got into the Christmas Spirit by reading two novellas within this anthology called Heiress Alone by Joanna Shupe and Meet Me In Mayfair by Tessa Dare! Each of these wonderful novellas are tied together by Sarah MacLean's family shortbread recipe and they are just as scrumptious as your favorite holiday cookie. Patrons should stay tuned for our recaps of the other two novellas, because those will be coming soon! Happy Holidays! 

Bonus Content: 

Our Christmases: David makes eggnog by hand, Melody is a crazy person when it comes to cards and has opinions about when it's appropriate to start your Christmasing. Erin waxes more philosophic about how her story is a time travel novella. Hear all about the best way to survive the cold; it involves shared nakedness, sleeping bags, and Fox Moulder's infinite wisdom. We give you a pro-tip about watching the movie Atonement. Hear all about Melody's strategy at events with passed appetizers. And Melody continuously shuts Erin the hell down.

Patreon Shout Out:

Mary F., you are one of the many descendents of the Hydra. Like all quote, unquote villains of history, the hydra’s story was told by the victor and omitted the hydra’s many wonderful qualities. As a water-dweller, the hydra took many of her characteristics from her surroundings. She was principled, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t adapt to a change in the flow. She was highly emotionally intelligent and an empath, which is something you’ve channeled in your existence; so deep was her emotional intuition that she often needed time away in her cave to recharge after interactions with others. More than anything, though, was her power of persistence and regeneration, which have both suited you well in your life. When knocked down, you’re not one to stay down. What many don’t know is those powers didn’t come from her poisonous blood or breath; no those are just a mark of her species. Her powers of regeneration and persistence came from her loyal, abiding, and protective heart. She could not leave those she loved to suffer alone, so she would reinvent herself at any attack to ensure their safety and happiness. You, Mary, you have that same deep well of vigor and rejuvenation and you use them well.

Dec 17, 2018
Ep. 63 TRAILER - How The Dukes Stole Christmas, an Anthology by Tessa Dare, Sarah MacLean, Sophie Jordan, and Joanna Shupe

Hey HB's! On Monday, December 17th, we're bringing you our first holiday special How the Dukes Stole Christmas, an anthology by Tessa Dare, Sarah MacLean, Sophie Jordan, and Joanna Shupe. We'll bring you two of the novellas in the regular episode and then patrons will get the other two! 

Dec 12, 2018
Ep. 62 - Match Me If You Can by Susan Elizabeth Phillips (PART 2)

Hey HB's! We finish up our discussion of Match Me If You Can by Susan Elizabeth Phillips! 

Bonus Content: Alaskan earthquakes, month-long Christmas for very pregnant Melody, more stories of Rooster the Dog, our demand for discernible lady orgasms and maybe some goddamned foreplay, Melody is almost defeated but then goes ape-shit over depictions of disordered eating, gaslighting, that time Erin got 3 pairs of FUBU jeans because her mom was MAKING A STATEMENT, and so much more!

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin: earthquake putty. Do it! Do it today! Get it done! 

Melody: don't fucking take it anymore. If you feel like you need to be polite and always brush things off, know that you don't. Own your outrage and express it in any healthy form that appropriate for the setting, x3. Your default will usually be less than what is appropriate for any setting. 

Special thanks to Jenn at Post Pouring Company for the amazing Keep Being a Bad Ass candle! It got Melody through the editing she had to redo last-minute.

Social Media: @postpourco 

Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/PostPourCo

Patreon Shout Out:

Jenny N., you are a descendent of The Fates, the three sisters who use their prowessin the textile arts to tell the future of mortals. Like these three, you're talented with fabric, expressing yourself with piecework. You can take a collection of what other would call "nothing" and turn it into a gorgeous work of art that keeps people as warm as your personality, aura, and heart. In short, positively toasty. You've also taken your ancestor's cold talent for premonition and turned it on it's head by shaping the future of anyone who encounters you with your vast wisdom and bottomless empathy. You might untether people, but instead of cutting their life cords, you cut the leashes keeping them bound to their own sense of limits, insecurity, and to the voices in their heads telling them they can't. You're truly inspiring.

Dec 11, 2018
Ep. 62 TRAILER - Match Me If You Can (PART 2) and Maternity Leave Info

Hey HB's! We're finishing up our coverage of Match Me If You Can by Susan Elizabeth Phillips on Monday, December 10. After which, things are changing a little. We're going to postpone The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory until after maternity leave because OMG MELODY IS SO PREGNANT AND TIRED. And she still has tons of life stuff to get done before her slippery wombat makes its exit. Or entrance? It really depends on your perspective. 

So! Instead, on December 17, we'll bring you a recap of cult-voted movie "The Christmas Wedding Planner" available on Netflix. Then, December 24 will be the 2018 Anthology How the Dukes Stole Christmas. You'll get two of the novellas as a regular episode, and Heaving Bosoms Patrons will get the remaining two. After that, we've got guest episodes coming your way until Mel returns full-time. 

Dec 05, 2018
Ep. 61 - Match Me If You Can by Susan Elizabeth Phillips (PART 1)

Hey y'all! I feel like we haven't hated something for a MINUTE. Well, get stoked because we... didn't like this very much. We've got a hot mess heroine that was even too much for Melody and a douchenozzle hero who thinks he wants a wife, but is really looking for a personal assistant/status enhancer he can take to the bonezone. Will they see that they're perfect for each other? Probably. Will they be right? WHO KNOWS; THIS IS ONLY PART ONE. 

Content Warning: clumsy and sometimes downright gross treatment of a transgender character, and illusions that Trump is the hero's actual hero throughout. This was published in 2005, though, so try to keep that in mind. 

Bonus Content: Melody is wearing her Reindeer Mafia Onesie! Rooster is getting old. Erin divulges that on paper Melody would confuse and annoy her; thank goodness we know each other in person! Plus, all the snake imagery, misunderstanding of kundalini yoga, and imagined vaginal attacks you probably never knew you needed. 

Lady Loves: 

Erin: Holistic Tarot Agency Podcast. Co-hosted by an HB, it's all the witchy, tarot, giggly content that can make Erin's pagan heart soar. Also, they accept questions, so participate! 

Melody: 1. Set some boundaries and be brutal in enforcing them. Your interpersonal relationships will thank you in the long run. And 2. Aromatherapy booties. They're hot! They're cold! They smell amazing! They will relax and delight you. 

Indy podcast promo: americansexpodcast.com Check them out! 

Dec 04, 2018
Ep. 61 TRAILER - Match Me If You Can by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Hey HB's! We're reading Susan Elizabeth Phillips' Match Me If You Can on Monday, December 3rd, 2018! We.... didn't love this one. BUT WE HAVE FUN! This will be part 1 of a 2 part series, so get your big kid pants on. We're talking all about a hero who's the cross between a leather portfolio and a can of Bud Light, a Hot Mess Heroine who's maybe even too much for Melody, and so many coiled snakes waiting to get you right in your kundalini chakra (that's your vagina). *whip noise!*

See you Monday! 

Nov 28, 2018
Ep. 60 - A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

Heyyyyyyyyy HB’s! Many of you have requested books from Sarah J. Maas’ series A Court of Thorns and Roses and we are here with book 1! Book two will follow after Melody’s maternity leave. We meet Feyre, a human girl who’s taken on the burden of providing for her fallen family, and Tamlin, a Faerie High Lord who needs to win her heart in order to break a curse and save the world. Book 1 is such a BEAUTIFUL introduction to this world, but it’s also super dense. We may have fudged some details here and there. We may have done things out of order. We might have taken some liberties in our tangents. Whatever, we loved it! Tamlin is a big sweet dummy and Rhysand is the sexiest king of the night in Everdom. Also, NECKBITES.

Bonus Content: Erin hates Melody’s current TMI just because pregnancy is gross, GOAT joins us in the recording studio, Melody says District 11 when she meant 12, we talk about stupid titties and ungrateful sisters, Erin accidentally admits a food group you can’t expect, Erin has to endure an entire book with a GOLD MASQUERADE MASK *shudders,* and we discuss how we’d react to a Calamari Party with enchanted wine. Spoiler alert: Melody’s tits would be out.

Lady Love Recs:

Erin: the podcast My Dad Wrote a Porno had a wonderful bonus episode featuring Dame Emma Thompson AND IT WAS PURE MAGIC. She talks all about her theory on sex education with her daughter, her whips, and is generally just the Queen we all want to worship.

Melody: you know that To Do list you might be neglecting? Is it mocking you? Are you lying awake at night? If so, bite the bullet and get stuff done! It feels so good to get those accomplished and cross them off the list, or remove the post-it from your to-do board.

Patreon Shout-Outs:

Katie T., you are a shining descendent of Cerberus, watchdog of the underworld. By nature, you're very kind and protective, shepherding those under your purview with great care. However, you have high standards for your loyalty and you're not afraid to dish out consequences to those who step out of line or abuse others. You have great respect for the arts, talent, and the beautiful in this world, so you've been known to show your soft underbelly when pampered by someone you trust. You also may only have one head, but you retained the cast amount of wisdom that Cerberus packed into each of his 3 brains, so your capacity for knowledge AND empathy is a thing to behold.


This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone!

Website: bubblesandbooks.com

Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/

Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromance


Nov 26, 2018
Ep. 60 TRAILER - A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

Hey y'all! HAPPY THANKSGIVING TOMORROW, American HB's! Join us on Monday, November 26 for A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas. It's a faery-rific fantasy romance set in permanent springtime! We've got a survivor heroine and a hero who's magically stuck in Erin's favorite thing: a gold masquerade mask. There's magic, there's art, there's assorted bewitched wine, and what we lack in recalling specific plot structure, we make up for with enthusiasm. We both really liked it and we can't WAIT to cover A Court of Mist and Fury after Melody's maternity leave! 

Nov 21, 2018
Ep. 59 - Seduced by Dr. Bigfoot, Attorney at Large by Chuck Tingle

It’s the mostly tingly time of the year... That’s right everyone, we read CHUCK TINGLE! In this episode, we recap Seduced by Dr. Bigfoot, Attorney at Large and Space Raptor Butt Invasion. Can Mark handle his attraction to a mythical creature who’s a lawyer AND a doctor? Will Lance have to spend have to spend his entire time on the planet Zorbus alone, or will he be able to warm up the cold-blooded creature he meets there? Come with us on these journeys to self-discovery, new sexual horizons, and all the semen descriptions you might be able to handle. THEN, if you’re a patron, you get to hear us tell each other about two bonus stories! And, I always feel silly saying this because everything we do is explicit, but this one is EXPLICIT. The text demands and we deliver.

Bonus Content: THE WINNER OF THE BUBBLES AND BOOKS GIVEAWAY is Jennifer Sumner! Congrats, Jennifer!  Melody tells everyone about officiating her friend's wedding, dancing her face off, and staying up until 3am like a kid... and the aftermath. We also get into the murky story of national treasure Dr. Chuck Tingle, Banksy of Erotica, why something is exponentially funnier if you aggressively include their professions in the description, the merits and demerits of sex against the window of the 72nd floor, and good goddess we hope all the descriptions of things being gay aren’t meant to be funny in a bad way. It feels too pure to be bad! It brings too much joy! And *Bing Boong Bong* Mythical Creature Safe Sex with Melody and Logistics with Erin.

Lady Love Recs:

Melody: Try a new fun thing called “Breakfast in Bath.” It’s far superior to Breakfast in Bed because you won’t drop crumbs in your sheets, you get all the bathtime relaxation you want, you start the day exfoliated, and it’s generally amazing. Erin is HORRIFIED, but we have very different bathtime strategies and outlooks.

Erin: ERIN NEEDS TO GET SOMETHING OFF HER CHEST. Forever ago, she rec’d a Bare Minerals lipstick that’s made with cocoa powder and NOBODY DID A GODDAMNED THING. Now there’s apparently a “cult lipstick” that Melody rec’d WAY LATER and it’s been quietly “grinding [her] gears.” Wait no, her Lady Love is an episode of Busy Tonight with Busy Philipps. On the episode with Emily Ratajkowski where they do a bit about the weirdest things women have ever found in their bras that had her DYING with laughter.

Patreon Shout-Outs:

Brandon S., you are a rare unicorn-centaur hybrid. Your unicorn lineage gives you the nobility, purity of heart, and sweetness of temperament which makes others crave our presence and respect. And your centaur side gives you wisdom and positivity in pursuits of both the mind and of the flesh. Regardless of your methods, you have an innate ability to make anyone feel wonderful about themselves and life in general

This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone!

Website: bubblesandbooks.com

Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/

Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromance


Nov 19, 2018
Ep. 59 TRAILER - Seduced by Dr. Bigfoot, Attorney at Large by Chuck Tingle

Hey HB's! Get stoked for Monday, November 19th by reading the Chuck Tingle tomes Seduced by Dr. Bigfoot, Attorney at Large and Space Raptor Butt Invasion. He's the Banksy of imaginative erotica and our new favorite person. Our patrons already know the DELIGHT he's brought to our lives because we've already recapped one with another to come next week, so if you want a sneak peak, head over to www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast and become a Patron! 

Nov 15, 2018
Ep. 58 - The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands (PART 2)

Hey HB's! This week on Heaving Bosoms we're finishing up our coverage of The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands! Are you on pins and needles about how he stealths her for the second time? Do you want to know who's trying to kill Saidh? Are you super invested in #justiceforFenella, #justiceforMilly, or Melody's new addition #personhoodforMilly? WE HOPE SO. But, spoiler alert: you're only gonna get the first couple. Our hashtags sadly didn't trend in time for poor Fenella or Milly. But mostly Fenella. 

Bonus Content: the Pastafarian Ministry and their successes, Melody's feel good vibes about her officiant dress in the cult, *Bing, Boong, Bong* Murder Times with Erin and Capital L Ladies with Melody, and a new turn of phrase, "did you crickets him?" That's right, we present a new verb: "to crickets."

IT'S GIVEAWAY WEEK! Bubbles and Books is offering a free monthly box to the lucky winner of our Heaving Bosoms Giveaway! Visit www.bubblesandbooks.com/bosoms to enter!! 

Lady Loves: 

Melody - Be okay with your well-reasoned choices, even if there's a lot of societal pressure saying that your decisions are antithetical to some role or status. Mel misses Ember, but she's also RELISHING the extra time she has while he's across the world being immersed in Mandarin and spending quality time with family. 

Erin - SOUP. That's right. One word. SOUP. It's soup and stew season and we loves it. We'll post recipes this week! 

Patreon Shout Out: Aasha M., you are a Greek Muse, a goddess of literature, science, the arts, and, in your case, so much more. You are the embodiment of inspiration, not just because of your positivity and supportiveness, but also because you lead by example. Whether is a career accomplishment, a creative flair, or the way you overcome hardship, those around you can learn a huge amount if they pay attention. While you're not boastful, you're also not stingy with the details of your process, so anyone can improve themselves just by being a member of your Greek choir, or at the very least, positioning themselves in your close orbit. And it should to without saying that your taste is impeccable, but I'll say it: you have impeccable taste.

This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone!

Website: bubblesandbooks.com

Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/

Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromance

Nov 12, 2018
Happy Election Day! Be sure to vote!

Hey HB's! IT'S ELECTION DAY! It's Midterm Tuesday! It's a day where you can make your voice heard, no matter your political beliefs! It's a day where you can have an impact on your local school district, the makeup of your state legislature, national legislature... important measures that will impact you, your friends, your family, that cute kid down the street!

Get stoked and VOTE! Share your experience with us on social media! YAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS!

Nov 06, 2018
Ep. 57 - The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands (PART 1)

Happy Monday, HB’s! This week we’re heading back in our fiction time machine to HIGHLANDER TIMES with The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands. Melody really loved this reading/listening experience. Erin would describe it as two sociopaths falling in love. If you like a Scottish Brogue combined with red hot sexy times, some murder, some intrigue, a whodunit, and a TRADITIONAL HIGHLANDER FINGERBANGING, then this book is for you!

Bonus Content: #justiceforFenella, #justiceforMilly, *Bing Boong Bong* Murder Times with Erin, our thoughts on communication within relationships and/or life, many talks about “duckies,” and Mel speaking about her first time with the phrase “I knew a lot about sex, but I didn’t know how to enact the mechanics.”  

Lady Love Recs:

Erin: People in the cult have started a weekly AMA thread called Ask A Badass because there are SO MANY BADASSES with cool jobs and interests in the cult! It’s amazing. Join and ask questions!

Melody: Follow the artists Karen Hallion and Brett Weldele on all the socials. They’re awesome!

Patreon Shout-Outs:

Jennifer S., you are the Hermes of Smut and Embracing your weird. Your particular wheelhouse is when something seems questionable on the surface, but will bring hours of joy, self-reflection, and giggles. You are clever, mischievous, and, most of all, heartfelt in your pursuits and relationships. Just like Hermes was a god with varying and vast responsibilities under his umbrella, your beneficence knows few bounds. What more can I say about the person who brought Grace Goodwin into our lives? You’re truly a treasure.

Alie S., you are a modern day acolyte of Artemis. You appreciate the forests and hills she governed and you’re a lover of animals, but you also apply her principles to your modern-day interests. You come to your pursuits with an excitement akin to wild abandon, and you’re always on the hunt for your next passion project. Meanwhile, the purity of focus you apply to your loved ones and the protective instincts you cultivate with children and those less fortunate than you would make your virginal, bow-carrying goddess proud. And just like the moon that Artemis loved, you have the ability to cast a soft, comforting glow on even the darkest situation.


This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone!

Website: bubblesandbooks.com

Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/

Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromance

Nov 05, 2018
Ep. 57 TRAILER - The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands

Join us on Monday, November 5 for The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands! It's got romance, it's got intrigue, it's got all the brogue, we may experience what Erin has coined a Traditional Highland Fingerbanging. Yay HighlanderTimes! 

Oct 31, 2018
Ep. 56 - Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert

Happy Halloween Week, HB's! This week we're coming at you with a sexy, spooky special: Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert. We've got a devoted Werewolf who just wants to impress his mate, and a bloodthirsty Huntress who's determined to prove her ability to slice and dice... her aforementioned mate. It's DELICIOUS! 

Also, Talia, we're serious: did they, or did they not, eyeball that fingerbang? 

Bonus Content: 

*Bing Boong Bong* Culture Time with Erin and Melody, our thoughts on where you should and shouldn't commit a murder (psssst! Not at your house!), Erin's Blueberry Muffin Missile, the merits of going into a fight without underwear, more of Erin's thoughts on food in the bedroom, werewolf erections, tricksie witches, an Ember cameo, Dana Scully is Erin's Halloween Minion, and so much more! 

Lady Love: 

Melody - When you can, communicate via video instead of just print or audio. It's WONDERFUL. 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Megan, you are a Selkie, a shape-shifting protector who can seamlessly transition from culture to culture, place to place, with a quick shedding or redonning of your seal skin. Your gentle, protective instincts make you a natural mentor and valued friend, and your beauty shines from the inside out. Though you may be naturally introverted, your strong sense of loyalty allows you to thrive in large groups, just like a regular seal. And your bark, when employed, can change even the most recalcitrant among us.


Oct 29, 2018
Ep. 56 TRAILER - Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert

Hey everyone! Join us on Monday, October 29 for Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert! If you're like us, you've been craving a stabby heroine and this will not disappoint! She's strong and feisty, he's awkward and swoony and a WERVE, and the mating trope still inspired so many consent boners. We highly suggest you pick this up if you haven't already. It's the perfect Halloween TREAT.

Oct 24, 2018
Ep. 55 - 1 Year Anniversary Episode!!

IT'S BEEN A YEAR!!!!!!! We're so excited! In this episode we go through some listener emails, do a couple of Melody's Kryptonite: Top 5 Lists, and generally talk romance, the podcast, the cult, and YOU! Thank you so much to all you listeners, all you patrons, and everyone who has made this past year so amazing for us! 

Bonus Content: Top 5 Heroes of books read on the podcast, Top 5 fictional characters overall, romance as escape, therapy, and a reminder that your feelings and emotional landscape are valid and important, why Melody would be the worst (best?) Bachelorette ever, How the podcast has helped us this year, Funny listener stories, TONKU revisited, our top snacks, How Erin met David, advice for people who are scared of starting or releasing a new creative project, and SO MUCH MORE! 

Patreon Shout Out:

Christine D. you are a centaur from Chiron's line. While most centaurs are known for being ruled purely by their animal nature, Chiron the wise, teacher of Achilles, is where you get your lineage. Thus, you possess the best of both. You have the intuition of a healer and scholar, yet you're not afraid to partake in the pleasures this world has to offer. Your robust physiology makes you magnetic and your empathetic, quick-witted, herd-loving mind makes you a treasure your friends and family cherish.


Oct 22, 2018
Ep. 54 - The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata (PART 2)

Hey y'all! Thanks for your patience and understanding! Here's the wrap-up of our convo about The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata. As Erin puts it, its the tale of two never-nudes who enter into a marriage of convenience, or, a slow burn with... very little burning? 

Bonus content: Comic Con NYC, essential oils, Erin's engagement photos, our thoughts on who a guy is REALLY assaulting another dude for in "your name" (hint: it's never actually about you), the downside to Michael always thinking Melody is pretty, and new segments *BING BOONG BONG* Minions with Erin and Running Long Distances with Erin and Melody. 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin: SPANX MADE JEANS. If you like hugs for your butt, spend the money. Also, Lifetime movies. If you've forgotten their glory, treat yourself! 

Melody: Maybelline Super Stay Matte Lip. It's so good! 


Patreon Shout Out: Mirandia, you are a maenad who has grown bored of Dionysus and has set off for the altar of Athena. While you have little care for the war strategy she governs, you bring the same amount of mirth and frivolity to the worship of wisdom and art that you did while dancing naked with your maenad sisters under falls of wine. You have an innate sense of good taste and joy that's only strengthened by your commitment to building a safe, wonderful environment for your babies to flourish.

Oct 16, 2018
Ep. 53 - The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata (PART 1)

This week, in part one, we cover The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata. It's a "slow burn" with a former personal assistant turned full-time graphic designer and the Canadian football star who wants her back in his employ.. or life? Will they get together after a scheme to commit marriage fraud together? 

This is, indeed, a slow burn. Emphasis on slow? We... tried to love this novel. And it didn't quite work. 

Bonus Content: Curly girl tricks, *bing, boong, bong* Antihistamines with Erin, and so much more! 

Lady Loves: 

Melody - while trying to commit to bullet journaling, Melody has tried to enact the idea that something doesn't have to be perfect or beautiful, just useful. Do something against your nature and don't punish yourself if yours doesn't look like the youtube artist's. 

Erin - LOVE FALL if that's what you love. More than that, keep loving what you love without apology and without fear of being called "basic" or whatever else people throw your way. Fuck 'em. 

Oct 08, 2018
Ep. 53 TRAILER - The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata

Hey HB's! Monday, October 8th is Part 1 of The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata! It's a SUPER slow burn about an assistant with graphic design small business ownership dreams and the pro football player she used to call "boss." When he needs an American wife to get citizenship, forced proximity ensues! See you then! 

Oct 03, 2018
Ep. 52 - A Princess In Theory by Alyssa Cole (PART 2)

This week we finish up our discussion of A Princess in Theory by Alyssa Cole. Part 2 takes place IN THESOLO! Can Ledi solve the puzzle of the disease outbreak while learning more about her homeland and, perhaps, taking her place as it's future queen? Can we handle Thabiso's disney eyes and talk of happy endings? Can we handle the cave sex? 

Bonus Content: 

Erin's at-home London Fog, a quick discussion called "what are lattes," one woman shows, the most romantic socks EVER, Melody's theory that donkeys with literally any name are funny and adorable, Alaskan cattle drives are still not a thing, and so much more. 

Self-Love Recommendation: 

Melody - Pay attention to the ping pong balls (the things necessary to make you a happy, well-adjusted person) in your life and make sure you start with those. If you start with the jelly beans and sand, you'll have no time for the things in life that are essential to your happiness. https://www.facebook.com/viralmotion/videos/a-teacher-taught-his-students-a-valuable-lesson-about-life/1378315445631232/

Erin - Bare Minerals new matte lipstick that's infused with cocoa powder! 

Oct 01, 2018
Ep. 51 - A Princess In Theory by Alyssa Cole (PART 1)

Hey HB's! We're here with Part 1 of Alyssa Cole's A Princess In Theory. It's Book 1 of her Reluctant Royals series and SUCH A GREAT READ. We've got Naledi Smith, a public health grad student with 3 jobs and a good head on her shoulders because she was a life-long foster kid and knows she can only rely on herself. Then there's Thabiso Moshoeshoe, her long-lost betrothed, an African Prince, and a person she's never even heard of. He's determined to find out why her family disappeared and was never heard from again, but when Naledi mistakes him for just a regular guy, Thabiso embarks on an elaborate plot in the name of getting to know her better. 

Bonus Content: Ember says goddamnit in front of his grandmother! We geek out over getting a DM response from THE ALYSSA COLE, Erin stumbles into the phrase "oiled up toddlers" (YEESH), Erin's tale of quitting dramatically, we swoon over the idea of experimenting with the tensile pressure of a beard on thighs, Melody waxes poetic about her Sex Ed Boner, Self-Assurance Boner, and Competency Boner. Erin worries about garlic, sleepy kisses. Melody expounds on the merits of a hot guy with a matriarchal religion. And Melody and Erin talk about the first "I love you's" they heard from their beaus. This is a doozy! 

Lady Loves: 

Melody: making friends as an adult is hard. So, if you meet someone you think you might connect with, do your best to push past the first few awkward pauses and see if there's something there! Melody met a woman who might turn out to be a great friend, but she wanted to take the escape hatch at every pause in their first conversation. 


Patreon Shout Out: 

Haley J., you are a Naiad. A demi-goddess who makes her home in fresh water. Like the spring you inhabit, you're energetic, bubbly, and crucial to the well-being of those around you. A rich, vibrant, serene home-life is incredibly important to our vitality, so you're careful to curate a space and environment which allows you to thrive and stay inspired. Nurturing, beautiful, and protective, your nature is to give of yourself and your intellect needs to be fed like the plants that surround your lush space.

Sep 24, 2018
Ep. 51 TRAILER - A Princess In Theory by Alyssa Cole (PART 1)

Hey HB's! Join us on Monday, September 24th for A Princess in Theory by Alyssa Cole! It's book one of her Reluctant Royals Series. It's a contemporary with everything: an independent STEM heroine, an African Prince, a mistaken identity meet-cute, and a love for the ages. Get on it before the episode!! 

Sep 19, 2018
Ep. 50 - Interview with Tessa Dare

Hey HB's! This week we're all getting treated with an interview with Tessa Dare! We chat about her new release The Governess Game, as well as her upcoming anthology How the Dukes Stole Christmas, her as a writer, reader, and political being. 

There's more about duck sex, themes in The Governess Game like healing and grief, education, early childhood development, learning through play, inspiration from her own life, amazing women she's come across in her research, her auto-buy authors as a reader, her trope catnip, and so much more. 


Authors and works mentioned: 

- A Spark of Light by Jodi Picoult (out Oct. 2, 2018)

- Cat Sebastian


Self-Love Recommendations: 

Melody - Try to practice constructive communication when you're in a conflict with a loved one and don't be afraid to advocate for yourself for that from other people. We get so caught up in wanting to be right and heard that we can lose sight of the feelings of others really quickly. So, if you need to process extra crap with someone, ask yourself, does it really need to be the person I'm in conflict with, or can my extraneous feelings be processed elsewhere? 

Tessa - Learn a new skill....like making cocktails! She hosted a party at her house recently and had to take over the bar when the bartender was late. She had so much fun learning new cocktails for the guest's orders and gaining a new party trick. 


Check out Tessa's interview with The Wicked Wallflowers Club as well. And special thanks to Jenny for her guidance about long-distance recording with a guest!  


Instagram: @wckdwallflowers

Twitter: @wckdwallflowers

Sep 17, 2018
Ep. 50 TRAILER - Interview with Tessa Dare!

Hey All! We're taking a quick break from our reading list to bring you AN INTERVIEW WITH TESSA DARE!!!!!!! We chat all about her new release The Governess Game, book two of her Girl Meets Duke series, the upcoming Christmas anthology she's contributed to, and so much more! See you Monday! 

Sep 13, 2018
Ep. 49 - After We Fall by Melanie Harlow

Hey HB's! This week we read After We Fall by Melanie Harlow. It's a contemporary novel with a soul-searching, rich girl heroine and an emotionally isolated widower who's still navigating symptoms of PTSD. There's a farm. There are attempts at chores. There are accidental meetings. There are dubious outdoor decisions outdoors. There's some peeping. There's some excellent dirty talk. And TREE SEX. Oh yes. 

Bonus Content: Erin is SO SICK! Rooster's probable Telegram Company. Melody's Bubble Bath. The Alaskan State Fair. Our thoughts on dudes with pastel whale shorts, boat shoes, and a disgusting sense of entitlement. A discussion of how to be a friend. And how Melody might employ gymnastics to coat your car in all sorts of nonsense if you don't offer her the bathroom. 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin: Consider taking the leash off. Erin was too scared to let Rooster off the leash for years and this weekend she proved herself to be an ecstatic off-road adventure dog! Your loved ones could surprise you.

Melody: Make sure you're registered to vote! We've got some important upcoming elections whether local, state, and national elections. Your voice matters! 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Hannah M., you are a pixie of mischief, wonder, and good humor. Always up to try something new, spending time with you is always a novel experience. Most pixies care little for the garb that adorns their bodies, but your love of costumes and the theatrical make you an even better traveling partner and random acquaintance. The gusto you put into each new task, whether it's making mischief with those you love, making merry, or snuggling with a furry friend makes you a delight to be near. And although those wings are shiny and your mind quick, those around you should take care to think of you as well. Your deep bag of magic can be used for good as well as ill, cutting sarcasm, and all kinds of right good set downs.

This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books! The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month!

facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/
Sep 10, 2018
Ep. 49 TRAILER - After We Fall by Melanie Harlow

Join us on Monday, September 10th for After We Fall by Melanie Harlow! It's a contemporary romance about a widower, veteran hero and a soul-searching heroine who's in hiding from high society after "the scone incident." We loved the hot sex scenes and attempt to shed light on the age-old question: "is that a goat?" 


Sep 05, 2018
Ep. 48 - The Red: An Erotic Fantasy by Tiffany Reisz

This week we've got an especially tasty little morsel: The Red by Tiffany Reisz! It's an erotic fantasy novel about a fiery gallery owner who's in debt and on the brink of losing everything and the mysterious man who wants to help her save it... for a price. He's not interested in her soul, though, he's interested in her BODY. Yum! 

Bonus Content: Ember's newest skill, Erin's trip to IL, wedding dress shopping, a discussion on using the term "whore" in the most empowering and delicious way, reclaiming the word cunt, and the segments *Bing Boong Bong* "safe sex work with Melody," "do your fucking job with Melody," "sex with mythical creatures with Erin," Melody's favorite alternate universe, and Erin's feelings on masquerade masks. Plus, MINOTAUR DONG. And does our podcast have a low-key new theme?

Strap in and maybe strap on. You're gonna need all your resources for this one. 

Lady Loves: 

Melody: Email or tween an author to tell them how much you love their work. Sometimes making other people feel great and know their worth is such a lovely pick-me-up. 

Erin: To All the Boys I've Loved Before and Love Simon. Sunshine, rainbows, and feel good films! Get them in your brain! 

Indy Podcast Promo: 

The Secret Life of Weddings

Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, etc. or at http://secretlifeofweddings.com
Sep 03, 2018
Ep. 48 TRAILER - The Red by Tiffany Reisz

On Monday, September 3rd we're bringing you our lengthy gush-session on The Red: An Erotic Fantasy by Tiffany Reisz. It's about an art gallery owner who's in debt and on the brink of losing her mother's life's work and the mysterious man who wants to help her save it, in return for 1 year of carte blanche sexy times. Hooooooo dangy. 

New segments abound, including: Safe Sex Work with Melody and Sex with Mythical Creatures with Erin. 

See you then! 

Aug 29, 2018
Ep. 47 - Split by JB Salsbury

Hey HB's! Happy Monday to you! Were you missing our personal brand of hate in your life? NEVER FEAR! We're here to deliver in this monster episode covering Split by JB Salsbury. It's about a girl who comes back to her small AZ town in disgrace after assaulting a colleague and the man she meets with Dissociative Identity Disorder and a mysterious, violent past. Will there be disclaimers? Yes. Will there be laughing through rage? Yes. But what more can we do when one of the heroes LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL THE HEROINE?!

Bonus Content: 

Erin's most embarrassing professional moment ever, *bing boong bongs* Do Your Fucking Job and Super Creepy People with Erin, the racism Erin saw while living in AZ, Melody pulls back the curtain on whether she's ever thought to herself, "your dad died? I want to see your penis immediately," Navajo Tacos: they're basically Gorditas, right? Wethinks not. And you get to learn all about Harmony and Butch. 

Lady Loves: 

Erin: The Type, a spoken word poem by Sarah Kay. You can find it on youtube and go down the delicious rabbit hole that is Sarah Kay's brilliance. 

Melody: ......

Patreon Shout Out:

Lauren C., you are a Griffin of great power and emotional understanding. Combining the body of the queen of all earthly creatures and the queen of all aerial creatures, you possess unparalleled courage of heart and vast intelligence. Bold and compassionate, those wings of yours will take you to heights surpassing even your wildest dreams. 

Aug 27, 2018
Ep. 47 TRAILER - Split by JB Salsbury

Hey y'all! On Monday, August 27 we're discussing Split by JB Salsbury. It's a romantic suspense novel about a girl who returns to her quiet mountain town in AZ after being fired from her job and the quiet, mysterious man she meets who blacks out and loses time. 

If you haven't read it, we would be remiss if we didn't give you a *content/trigger warning.* This novel contains themes and acts of physical abuse, emotional abuse, child abuse, and sexual assault. We will be discussing all those factors with varying degrees of detail in the episode! 

Aug 22, 2018
Ep. 46 - How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper (PART 2)

Here we go with Part 2 of How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper! Will they figure out who's attacking locals? Will there be super sperm? Will we have more opportunities for *bing boong bong* Wildlife Safety with Erin? All that, plus realistic truck sex! 

Bonus Content: Melody's volunteer tomato, how condoms only work if they're used 100% of the time, and much more! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin: Smartypants vitamins. The serving size is SIX gummy vitamins! 

Melody: Have what you crave around, otherwise, when you're craving dark chocolate you may end up eating a meal-replacement bar. 

Aug 20, 2018
Ep. 45 - How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper

This week we're bringing you part 1 of How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper, one of Erin's favorite books! We've got a Mississippi transplant in Alaska and a hero who's begrudgingly attracted to the outsider. She's fleeing her overbearing hippy parents, he's got a furry secret. There's intrigue, there's murder, there's baking, there's a whole kaleidoscope of fabulous side characters. There's deep, fiery passion. There's *bing boong bong* What Sex Position Is This? with Melody. 

Bonus Content: 

Pulling necks, #bringbackdueling SUCCESS, the jungle that is Alaskan Match.com, our proposed alternate title "Slap, Slap, Kiss", Life Saving Measures with Erin, Obstructing Justice with Erin, Melody's sickness REVEALED, and all the bear encounters Leigh-Ayn could ever wish for. 

Patreon Shout Out: 

Leslie B., you are a unicorn of care, companionship, and silliness. Throughout the ages, unicorns have gotten pigeon-holed as the creatures of sweetness and light. While you've gotten those characteristics in spades, you also prove the species has so much more to offer. Your sass, longing for new challenges, and commitment to the safety of your herd is unmatched. I mean, you basically have a bayonet on your head and you know how to use it. Plus, that flowing mane of waves is something that even us land mermaids need to tip our hats to.

Aug 13, 2018
Ep. 45 TRAILER - How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper

This week we need you to read How To Flirt with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Hunter! It's a super fun paranormal romance set in backwoods Alaska and it's one of Erin's favorite books!  It features a heroine fleeing from her overbearing hippy parents and a brooding hero with a secret. This episode will be PART 1 because we enjoyed it so much. 

Aug 08, 2018
Ep. 44 - Let's Get Textual by Teagan Hunter

Hey y'all! This week we have Teagan Hunter's Millenial delight, Let's Get Textual. It's got a wrong number meet-cute, two sarcastic, adorable characters, a baby goat, Harry Potter boxers, wholesome yet sexy strip teases, a whodunit, BAD Titanic jokes, questionable Dorito placement, and some low-key social justice issues. 

Bonus conent: PIG ROOOAAASSTTTT, Melody's bottle baby goats and her knowledge of goats as snuggle partners, some Erin snark on bonding over universal experiences, our shared HATRED of ranch dressing, and so much more. 

Also, introducing some new segments: *bing, boong, bong* How to (In)Correctly Identify Basic Character Traits with Erin, and Gold Star Parenting with Melody. 

Patreon Shout-Outs: 

Tiffany A., you are a phoenix. Your powers of rejuvenation make sure you're never down for long. Whether it's a momentary lapse, or a huge loss, you always have it in you to bounce back. Even at your most decrepit and downtrodden, you need look no further than your own inner beauty and ability to set you right.

Elizabeth S., you are a water sprite. Your dazzling personality and playful nature make you a delight to be around, and friendship with you is as flowing and deep as the waters you inhabit. When rough currents hit, you know how to strike a healthy balance of go-with-the-flow and swim-for-your-life. And everyone better take note: when you're pushed, your bite is just as strong as your bark. 

Aug 06, 2018
Ep. 44 TRAILER - Let's Get Texual by Teagan Hunter

Hey all! We're coming back atcha on August 6th with Let's Get Textual by Teagan Hunter! It's a book geared toward Millennials which is fun, filled with snappy banter, and adorably romantic. 

Also, get ready for tales of Erin's pig roast, the merits of long-distance relationships for the thirsty, and some truly deep wisdom regarding penis potholders. 

Aug 02, 2018
Ep. 43 - Melody's Interview on The Things She Does Podcast

Hey All! We are so appreciate that you've been so understanding about our hiccup in programming, but a plastic shard getting lodged in your cornea doesn't happen every day. Poor Erin! 

Luckily, Nickie from The Things She Does offered to allow us to publish her interview with Melody so you didn't have a huge lapse in your feed! 

We talk romance novels, the value they bring to the world, feminism, sex education and pleasure education, being a mom, "balance" or lack thereof, and so much more. 


Jul 30, 2018
Ep. 42 - The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang (PART 2)

Hey HB's! We're back with Part 2 of Helen Hoang's debut novel, The Kiss Quotient! Stella and Michael are embarking on a classic EnglandTimes fake relationship and find that they're dynamic just might be perfect. That is, of course, if Michael's past, Stella's coworker, both of their understandable insecurities, misunderstandings, and a wealthy woman with nothing to lose don't screw it up forever! 

Bonus Content: Face nipples, GOAT the spanish-speaking dog, more Gelato Teenager antics, Erin's views on sex in the workplace, The Handmaid's Tale, a doozy of a film called Killing Me Softly, and much more! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin - Follow @timburkephoto and @hanna.c.johansson and their burgeoning romance as the motorcycle through Norway together. So cute! 

Melody - Have a sob in public if you need to. Give yourself that catharsis. 


If you ever have problems getting the episodes through your preferred app, feel free to visit our RSS feed http://heavingbosoms.libsyn.com/ and listen to our episodes directly from there! 

Jul 23, 2018
Ep. 42 TRAILER - The Kiss Quotient 2 and Melody's Interview!

Hey HB's! If you haven't read The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang yet, PLEASE DO because we'll be finishing our discussion on July 23!!

And if you haven't listened to Melody's interview yet, head over to The Things She Does! We chatted about romance novels, feminism, empowerment, the need for women's voices, and the transformative and educational power of reading smooching books. 

And follow her on social media @thethingsshedoes

Jul 18, 2018
Ep. 41 - The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang (PART 1)

Get ready for some squee HBs, we're here gushing over the first half of The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang! Scientist/mathematician + male escort/fashion designer?! Neuroatypical heroine?! Hapa hero?! We are very here for this. Plus all the heart-felt romance and red hot sexy times you can handle. And consent! So, so much consent on the page. Melody was in hog heaven. 

We have limited experience with autism particularly and the neurodiverse community in general, so if you feel inspired to correct us on something we said, please don't hesitate to email heavingbosomspodcast@gmail.com!

Bonus Content:

Pig roasts, gelato teenagers, how Melody eats candy, how Erin can't sing, the best Army pun EVER, pheromones, Mr. Spenglish, and so much more. 

Patren Shout Out: 

Jackie G., you are a fairy of fortitude and friendship. You will use anything at your disposal, all the tricks up your sleeve, to help the ones you love, and your mischievous imagination makes you a hoot to be around.

Thank you to all of our patrons! If you want to join the ranks head to https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast

Thank you to everyone who's subscribed, rated, and reviewed! It helps us so much! 

Follow us on social media! 

Instagram: @heavingbosoms

Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Facebook: Heaving Bosoms Podcast

Closed Facebook Group: The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult


Jul 16, 2018
Ep. 41 TRAILER - The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang

Hey friends! Get ready for July 16, 2018 by reading The Kiss Quotient, Helen Hoang's debut, own voices novel. Seriously. Read it. Immediately. It's about an autistic heroine who is convinced she needs to improve her sexual abilities in order to have a successful romantic relationship in the future. She hires an escort for "lessons" but romance is in the air when he decides to show her just how perfect she is already. 

We LOVED this book, so this will be a two-parter! The heroine is wonderful and vivid, the hero is work of art from his full-body dragon tattoo to his devoted and sweet nature, the romance is swoon-worthy, and the sexy times are hot hot hot.

See you, Monday! 

Jul 11, 2018
Ep. 40 - The Virgin Romance Novelist by Meghan Quinn

Hey HB's! We're back for The Virgin Romance Novelist by Meghan Quinn! It’s a friends-to-lovers romantic comedy with some slapstick antics that had us in stitches! Rosie is an aspiring romance novelist who hasn't gone "all they way" ... or anywhere, really. Henry is her best friend of 5 years who's just biding his time until she notices him. When Rosie decides to put herself out there and have sex to gain the experience she needs for the novel (at Henry's urging), hilarity ensues. Yes, like all rom-coms in the 90's and 2000's, it's also a little problematic. So. Full disclosure, Melody may have gotten on a soap box or two.

Bonus Content: Learn about Erin's illicit bread, the end of #cockygate, why the virgin trope in contemporaries rarely works for Melody, a discussion of all the Chris's and which is best, adventures in DivaCups, we find a line Mel won't cross (even for Erin), Erin sheds light on her thoughts on bowling hygiene and the scene in Anchorage, TEQUILA and why it doesn't work, we all get a lesson in eating tacos, a discussion on whether oral sex is "relaxing," and HOW TO BE MELODY'S FRIEND (surprise, surprise, it involves TMI).   

Featured Segments: Law and Order with Erin, TMI with Melody (throughout), and a brand new segment, Melody Briefly Morphs Into Erin! 

Patreon Shout-Out: Natalie M-M, you are a beatific wood nymph. You can inspire with your joyous energy alone and your abilities in the outdoors make you an excellent partner for anyone's adventures. Who doesn't love a lady with survival skills?

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin - SUNSCREEN. Don't think your makeup is all the sunscreen you need. 

Melody - Hide veggies from yourself if you have to. They need to get into your body, so if you need to blend them in a shake, cook them in your eggs, or make a puree, DO IT. Veg are everything! 

Jul 09, 2018
Ep. 40 TRAILER - The Virgin Romance Novelist by Meghan Quinn

Hey Listener! On Monday July 9th, we're coming at your with The Virgin Romance Novelist by Meghan Quinn. It's a friends-to-lovers romantic comedy that has us hysterically laughing, as well as side-eyeing a bit. See you then! 

Jul 05, 2018
Ep. 39 - Mastered by Her Mates by Grace Goodwin

Hey listener! Did you put on your big kid underwear? WELL, GET READY TO TAKE IT OFF. Ok, it's already getting weird. Gotta set the tone.... 

This week we read Mastered by Her Mates by Grace Goodwin and it was an amazing, wild ride. Aliens have landed and sworn their protection from THE HIVE but, in return, they need soldiers for the front lines and they want brides for their soldiers. Enter Amanda Bryant, a seasoned spy who becomes the first in Earth's Interstellar Bride Program and needs to confirm the threat from The Hive is real and send back any and all intel and technology back to her superiors, all while not getting distracted by her two new, hot mates. That's right: TWO MATES! Will she be able to keep her heart from two warriors who want to share their love and devotion with her? Is appeasing her government really the best course of action? Can we do all of this with magical, orgasm-inducing semen as a factor? Are you ready for the Anal Training Box? Can we get a little more double-penetration up in here? Can I please have my own poop robot? 


Bonus Content: 

Erin remembers and becomes obsessed with the 1988 classic "Earth Girls are Easy" with Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and Damon Wayans. It's a recurring theme. Erin recalls the time that eHarmony told her she had literally ZERO matches. No one at all in all the internet. We talk a lot about the merits of a good spy, what's appropriate for a medical examination after you've been reduced to pure energy, beamed across the universe, and then reassembled. We wonder how quiet a poop robot can really be, and generally squee over this book and all it's glory. We also have a hard time choosing a sign off, so you get them all! See our process in action! 

Random Erin Rec: The Demonica Series by Larissa Ione. If you like an incubus, check it out! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin: Queer Eye Season 2 on Netflix. Watch it and cry with joy and goodness. 

Melody: Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Watch it and remember how funny and capable and fabulous you are. 


Housekeeping: Patreon fam, please send us your mailing addresses! We wants to send you goodies! 

If you haven't yet, please head over to Apple Podcasts and rate and review us! If you give us a 5 star review we will cover whatever book you recommend! 

Also follow us on all the things!

Instagram: @heavingbosoms

Twitter: @heaving_bosoms

Facebook: Heaving Bosoms Podcast (page) and The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult (group)

Email: heavingbosomspodcast@gmail.com

Website: www.heavingbosomspodcast.com 


Whew! Enjoy! 

Jul 02, 2018
Ep. 39 TRAILER - Mastered by Her Mates by Grace Goodwin

Hey HB's! Put your big kid pants on for Monday, July 2nd because we've got an intergallactic, polyamorous, erotic romance coming at your faces! It's got everything. It utilizes so many orifices. It's got clumsy spyness. It is a treat, a delight, and will be a hilarious journey. We basically scream laugh through the whole episode. All of that, and it still manages to have a ton of HEART! Whew!

And I can't believe I'm saying this, because this is generally just who we are, but this is gonna get explicit in a lot of ways. Please listen accordingly.

Jun 27, 2018
Ep. 38 - After the Wedding by Courtney Milan

Hey Commuters! Get ready for this super-sized episode! We read After the Wedding by Courtney Milan! He's a biracial, unrecognized nephew of an Earl. She's a Lady with a tragic past and a refusal to give up hope for lasting happiness. They're inexplicably set up and married at gunpoint by two members of the clergy! Can they find out how much they're worth while unraveling the mystery and proving the legitimacy of their annulment claim? Will they put everything to the test and choose each other forever? IT'S GODDAMNED GORGEOUS. 

Bonus Content: How much does Erin love the sound of her own voice? Melody's strenuous preschool arts and crafts project. Adventures in childhood hair cuttery. Pride corner with Erin and Melody. Erin's new confusion over #15 from Team USA. Erin's longstanding obsession with the plural of octopus, and the revolution it saw in the English Language. And.. is this finally the thing she can bond with Courtney Milan over IRL? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.



Liz S. - You are a benevolent Fury who uses her considerable power and prowess for only the best intentions and outcomes. And Erin says you're a Harpy in the best sense of the word :)

Jacqueline W. - You are a phenomenal Siren who has used her voice to bring so many unsuspecting sailors to Heaving Bosoms Island. The beauty of your voice is matched only by the beauty of your mind and spirit.

Kellie P. - You are a loving Pegasus who holds so much on her shoulders with such grace ans surety. Plus, you're so much fucking fun.


Self-Love Recommendations: 

Melody - commit to yourself again if you need to. I haven't been doing nearly enough of the self care routine that keeps me content, so let's do it together. Get your facemask on, get back to the gym, drink your coffee in the sun, whatever you've been slacking on that's good for YOU, get to it. 

Erin - "The sun is warm and the grass is green." When you're feeling overwhelmed, just repeat that to yourself to become grounded again. If it's good enough for both Mr. Miyagi and Courtney Milan, it's good enough for us. 

Jun 25, 2018
Ep. 38 TRAILER - After the Wedding by Courtney Milan

Hey HB's! We are back next week with our usual ISH! Treat yourself this week by reading After the Wedding by Courtney Milan. Seriously. TREAT yourself. This interracial romance is delicious, deep, and full of emotional revelations. Not to mention the most excellent side characters. So great! 

Jun 20, 2018
Ep. 37 - Interview with Sarah MacLean for Wicked and the Wallflower

Hey Esteemed Listener!!! We have a very special episode this week: an interview with author Sarah MacLean! Sarah is a best selling romance author, romance columnist, two time RITA Award winner, advocate, and hugely celebrated lady we have big crushes on.

In this episode Melody got to sit down with Sarah to discuss her new book Wicked and the Wallflower, book 1 of her new Bareknuckle Bastard series, which comes out on June 19, 2018 (TOMORROW!!!!). She talks all about her inspiration for the Bareknuckle Bastard series, the parts of Englandtimes she's uncovering by stepping out of the traditional ballroom setting, and the themes of Wicked and the Wallflower.

We talk her research and writing process and learn all about Ada Lovelace, who is a Regency Era woman who is widely known for being the world's first computer programmer and a mathematician, but is also LORD BYRON'S DAUGHTER. Whhhaaaaattttt?

And of course we chatted about feminism in romance, how that impacts historical accuracy (spoiler: not much), and Sarah's tribe within the writing community.

As an added bonus, while discussing her reading catnip, Sarah recommends novels we should read, as she is wont to do:

Priest by Sierra Simone

The Unrequited by Saffron Kent

Unlocked by Courtney Milan (Novella)

Never Sweeter by Charlotte Stein

The Player by Kresley Cole


Don't worry, y'all, her love of Tom Hardy comes up, too!


Self-Love Recommendations:

Sarah: Fresh Cosmetics in general, but they do an eye cream that makes her super happy.

Melody: Try to overcome imposter syndrome whenever you can. If you can, you could find yourself sitting across a table from SARAH MACLEAN. **Squeeeeee!**


Be sure to get Wicked and the Wallflower for a delicious Englandtimes read that steps outside of the normal ballroom setting and into the streets of London. It's a tale of outsiders, has a bad-ass lady lockpick heroine, a scarred, deep hero named DEVIL, and all the plotting you could wish for. Plus, all the tingles in your bathing suit parts.


Check out her website and social media! Her website has an INCREDIBLE list of over 180 romance novels she recommends.


Twitter: @sarahmaclean

Instagram: @sarahmaclean

Facebook: facebook.com/SarahMacLean


Follow us on all the things as well!


Twitter: @Heaving_Bosoms

Instagram: @heavingbosoms

Facebook: facebook.com/heavingbosomspodcast

Facebook GROUP: The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult


Thank you for being AMAZING and creating such a fun community. We love you dearly.


Jun 18, 2018
Ep. 37 TRAILER - Sarah MacLean Interview

Hey HB's! On Monday, June 18th, we're bringing you an interview with THE Sarah MacLean. Expect much talk about her new book Wicked and the Wallflower, coming out on June 19th. We also chat about her writing and research process, feminism in romance, her prolific reading habits, and much, much more. 

Plus, Patrons! Expect a little episode that has some bonus questions and my debrief with Erin about the interview. 

THIS WAS SO AWESOME. It's wonderful when you meet someone you have the utmost respect for from afar and then they manage to knock your socks off even more. That's Sarah MacLean.

See you Monday! 

Jun 13, 2018
Ep. 36 - The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston (PART 2)

Hold onto your butts while we finish up The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston! There's talon sex, there are fights, there are dream demons, there's an avenging crow dog with a metal muzzle, there's A LITERAL TRIP TO VALHALLA, and all the juicy, sweet, straightforward romance a person could ask for. Have you ever thought to yourself "a doggy door could be the catalyst to my proclamation of love"? Neither had Vig or Kera, but it's the sweetest thing ever. 

Bonus Content: 

COCKYGATE, the (s)heroics of Penny Reid, Army Combat Water Survival AKA Never Volunteer for Anything In Army, beehive coups, and much more! 

Self Love Recommendations: 

Erin: Get yourself some plants. Or some MORE plants! Erin hit the motherload at a garage sale the other day and filled her house with a bunch of 40 year old plants who have known nothing but love. Bliss. 

Melody: Seek out something you loved in your childhood and re-experience it. She watched the Phantom of the Opera movie because it was randomly added to Netflix and she remembered an old love.

Jun 11, 2018
Ep. 35 - The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston (PART 1)

Hey HB's! We're back this week with Part 1 of The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston. It's a paranormal romance complete with modern-day vikings and the gods who command them, a persnickety former marine back from death, and a big hunk of disheveled man who's been low-key wooing her for 18 months.... so low-key she doesn't notice. PLUS, there's something ancient that's waiting to be unleashed! WHAT IS IT. 

Jun 04, 2018
Ep. 35 TRAILER - The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston

Hey HB's! Get ready for Monday June 4, 2018 by reading They Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston. It's book 1 of the Call of the Crows series and is full of badass warrior women, Viking Gods, a loyal pit bull bff, and a hulking mountain of a bearded man who just wants to date in a refreshingly straight forward manner. Yay! 

May 30, 2018
Ep. 34 - The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie (PART 2)

Hey HB's! Here's part two of The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie. In addition to the culmination of Abby and Max's tale, we've got another round of the "Big Stab vs. Big Slash" debate (in which Melody also comes out the WINNER), some earth-shattering Pride and Prejudice confessions, and more thoughts on EnglandTimes Wokeness (#englandtimeswoke). Come get companionably drunk with us, in a figurative sense, and shout from the rooftops our new favorite life motto: "spare me the thought processes of men!" Lady Bea, you're an international treasure and the definition of #goals.

Self-Love Recommendations:

Erin - hide your gummy vitamins from yourself lest you end up with sores due to vitamin A poisoning. Or, you know, maybe invest in some fucking food on a semi-regular basis.

Melody: Get thee outside! A morning exploring the park, weeding the yard, and eating breakfast outside is such an amazing start to the day!

Now, HB's, in the words of our dear Daisy, "go on and let the nice man compromise you. You know you want to."


Also featured: a podcast you might love, The Feminine Mistake Podcast! Three comedy writers sit down with a guest to look at the current state of women in the industry and how female characters are portrayed in film and television. This month they're chatting about I Feel Pretty!


Instagram: @FemMistakePod

Twitter: @FemMistakePod

May 28, 2018
Ep. 34 TRAILER and... we launched our Patreon page!

Hey HB's!! We'll back on Monday, May 28th for Part 2 of The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie! 

And also, HUGE NEWS; we finally launched our Patreon page! If you'd like access to bonus content, visit www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast and sign up! 

May 25, 2018
Ep. 33 - The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie (PART 1)

Hey HB's! We're here for Part 1 of The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie. It's a beautiful tale full of sisterhood and lady love, in addition to all the fabulous romance. Abby Chantry and her adopted sisters are down on their luck when they happen upon a Lady in just as much need, then her nephew arrives unexpectedly and SPARKS FLY. Delicious. 

Bonus Content: Over reacting to regular thing and owning it, the power of Chewy Bars and DoubleTree Cookies, the merits of locking up food, Erin's terrible memory, literally ALL the instruments Erin played in High School and the boys who inspired each, *bing boong bong* Combat Medicine with Erin, and SO MUCH MORE. 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin: Are you in a hair color crisis? Maybe take her lead and spend some time with your roots. On your whole head. 

Melody: Having tummy trouble? Lipton makes "Soothe Your Tummy" tea that was made for you! 

May 21, 2018
Ep. 33 TRAILER - The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie

Hey HB's! This week we're getting lost in the world of the Chance Sisters with The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie! It's the first in a 4 part series that has us swooning over the lady love as much as the beautiful romance. This EnglandTimes novel is addicting!

May 16, 2018
Ep. 32 - Take the Lead by Alexis Daria

Hey HB's this week we read Take the Lead by Alexis Daria! It's a reluctant romance set on a celebrity dance show. Gina Morales is the pro dancer in charge of making hulking Alaskan bushman Stone Nielson into a light-footed showboat. She's pressured to give the people a "showmance" and he just wants to get back to chopping wood while shirtless, ok?! Will their love prevail? 

Bonus Content: Goat was sick!, booty popping Zumba class, Jane the Virgin, that time Melody cut a goodbye short because she decided to double-fist chicken drumsticks, we think massage is a great prelude to sex, everyone we cast our minds, and so much more! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin: Jane the Virgin and sugar lip scrubs

Melody: Take a hip-hop Zumba class and feel like Beyonce herself! 

May 14, 2018
Ep. 31 - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne (PART 2)

Hey HB's! Sorry for the slight delay! This is Part 2 of Sally Thorne's The Hating Game! We're jumping back into Lucy's sickbed and you get to hear all about how much Melody hates the other guy who's into Lucy and all the reasons WHYYYY. Spoiler Alert: we hate "nice" guys. But, our former enemies are about to get even cozier, so we're happy little clams. 

Bonus Content: more Slytherin and Hufflepuff magic, fever stories, a little game you can play in the ER called "find the blood," Melody's evolving life mottos, and so much more! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Melody: Invest in your body somehow this week. You only get the one and all our systems, body-mind-soul are connected. So love your body as much as you love yourself. AKA "MELODY SCHEDULE THE DENTIST ALREADY."

Erin: P!NK! Get on it. She's so empowering and talented and amazing. Google her Grammy and AMA performances from years past and feel ferocious through her. 

Also featured: a podcast you might love, The Feminine Mistake Podcast! Three comedy writers sit down with a guest to look at the current state of women in the industry and how female characters are portrayed in film and television. This month they're chatting about I Feel Pretty! 


Instagram: @FemMistakePod

Twitter: @FemMistakePod

May 07, 2018
Ep. 30 - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne (PART 1)

Hey HBs! And Flamethrowers! Five of you spoke and we listened, so here's Part 1 of The Hating Game by Sally Thorne! We wanted to do this in one episode, but the squee was TOO STRONG!

Join us for this quirky, fun, completely believable enemies-to-lovers story, which starts in the workplace (!!). It's got depth and such excellent writing that it made Melody come back 5 literal times.

Bonus Content: A rousing discussion of Hogwarts Houses, Mel’s obsession with paintball as well as her legendary Duck Hunt prowess, vomiting in cabs, HYDRATION, and an unlikely segment, Fashion with Erin. 

Self Love Recommendations: 

Erin: Join the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult because there's a big ol' thread with tons of listener self-love recommendations! 

Melody: If you feel like you need a boost, the tips of your hair is a great place to put essential oils so the scents float around your face all day. Just make sure to stay away from drying/astringent oils like Tee Tree and Eucalyptus. 

Apr 30, 2018
Ep. 30 TRAILER - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne

Hey y'all! Get ready for Monday April 30th by reading, or re-reading, The Hating Game by Sally Thorne! It's an enemies-to-lovers tale set in a reflective workplace that will keep you laughing, swooning, playing along, and tingling in your bathing suit parts. If nothing else, the "Flamethrower Red" lips have you intrigued, no? 

Apr 25, 2018
Ep. 29 - A Knight In Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux (PART 2)

We're back to finish up A Knight In Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux, and this time we're in Medieval Times! Legit Medieval Times! We get to see our generous Dougless throw aside all her hygiene standards to CHANGE HISTORY. 

Has Melody ever mentioned that she thought this was a M/M book when she first cracked the cover? This was a disappointment on a lot of levels. 

Bonus Content: we get to learn all about magical Mary Poppins bags, cradle boards, why Mel likes getting kisses on the elbow, our new segment "this is not an ad for Duane The Rock Johnson," shark (not Transformer) phobias, and, most of all, swampy balls! Get 'em while they're fragrant! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

- Erin: Yes To has a coconut oil push pop face mask! WE'RE LIVING IN THE FUTURE! 

- Melody: Go see a monster movie if you're into that. She's seen Pacific Rim 2 and Rampage recently and both made her cry. Super fun! 

Apr 24, 2018
Ep. 28 - A Knight In Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux (PART 1)

Hey HB's! This week we're FINALLY GETTING TO TANYA'S BOOK! Or rather, Part 1 of A Knight In Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux. It's a classic romance novel published in the 80's and it does not disappoint... if you're looking for rant-fodder from us! It involves a perpetually gaslit schoolteacher, a horrendous current beau, a hero from the 16th century who isn't much better, all the fat-shaming of children you've ever wished for, and time-travel via genital contact. 

Plus, Rooster the Dog had a lot to say about this book as well. She couldn't BELIEVE we didn't like it. 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin - Don't think the self-love can't just be bath bombs and a little me time. Not all of us can be that blonde woman in stock photos with her arms outstretched in the sunset. We all try our best to create "a life you don't have to escape from," but everyone needs to be a little selfless and do some dirty jobs for society to function. Trekking across the world or doing a job that "serves you" is all well and good, but it's not an achievement.  

Also Erin - "Yes To" has a charcoal push-pop face mask that is SUBLIME. 

Apr 16, 2018
Ep. 28 TRAILER - A Knight In Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux

Hey HB's! On Monday, April 16th, we're recapping PART 1 of Jude Deveraux's A Knight In Shining Armor. It's a classic involving a perpetually gaslit schoolteacher, a horrendous current beau, a hero from the 16th century who isn't much better, all the fat-shaming of children you've ever wished for, and time-travel via genital contact.

Prepare yourselves, because we haven't loathed a book in a while. Perhaps too long? That's also Melody's birthday, so she treated herself to ALL THE RANTS SHE NEEDS AND DESERVES and can't wait for part 2 already. 

Apr 11, 2018
Ep. 27 - Bonus Content and Patreon Preview!

Hey HB's! Erin and Melody are embarking on the crazy journey that is Patreon very soon, so we thought we should give you a taste of what you can unlock by getting on the bandwagon. This episode, we learn all about dueling, answer the mystery of the HB Universe "what does it mean to make oneself ready?!" and Erin concocts some truly ruthless Fuck/Marry/Kill brackets. 

Special thanks to Ann C, our resident dueling GURU! 

Keep being your bad-ass selves! 

Apr 09, 2018
Ep. 27 TRAILER - Bonus Content!

Hey HB's! Join us on Monday, April 9th for a BONUS CONTENT episode! We'll be sharing a listener email full of most excellent info, the answer the biggest mystery in the herstory of everdome, and all the Fuck/Marry/Kills you can take! 

This also gives you more time to read Tanya's book, which is next on the list. Trust us. You're gonna need it. 

See you Monday! 

Apr 04, 2018
Ep. 26 - Hate to Want You by Alisha Rai

Hey HB's! It's time for Hate to Want You by Alisha Rai. Join Reverends Erin and Melody as they discuss family redemption, spanking, tattoos, and various kinds of musks! Prepare yourselves, because like this book, this episode gets a little *real* about depression and relationships, but we haven’t wept openly in like five episodes so . . . we were due ;)

Self Love Recommendations:

Erin - Sleep! It'll mess you up if you don't get any.

Melody - Wild Geese by Mary Oliver. Read it, let it seep into your bones. 

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.


Apr 02, 2018
Ep. 26 TRAILER - Hate to Want You by Alisha Rai

Hey y'all! On Monday, April 2 we're recapping Hate to Want You by Alisha Rai. It's a gorgeous second chance love story which includes family redemption, depression, tattoos, various forms of spanking, and secret annual liaisons. So good! 

Mar 29, 2018
Ep. 25 - Firelight by Kristen Callihan

We're bringing you a monster-sized episode for our first sexy monster! **heart-eyed emoji**. Join us for Firelight by Kristen Callihan, a romance mystery set in Sherlock Holmes Times which may or may not have made us spontaneously combust a couple of times. Callihan is a master of "show, don't tell" and we were riveted for every moment. Plus, let's review: Sexy. Monster.

Read this book, y'all! Special thanks to Shante for recommending it! 

Bonus content: New dog Goat and other shenanigans. Also, if you can, donate to https://www.gofundme.com/giveherwings2018 a campaign by one of our former students to keep a safe house for victims of human trafficking and sex slavery open. Any amount, even the price of 1 book, will help! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

Erin: For the People. Watch TV lawyers be terrible at their jobs and never get disbarred! 

Melody: Don't fall asleep in the bath. She didn't die, but she definitely snort-splashed everywhere. 


Mar 26, 2018
Ep. 25 TRAILER - Firelight by Kristen Callihan

Hey HBs, are you wondering how to kiss somebody using *just* tongues and make that sexy? You’ll probably want to read Firelight by Kristen Callihan before Monday. We *loved* this paranormal romance with all the mystery and intrigue and masquerades and street urchins and tiny tophats we could handle! See you Monday! 

Mar 24, 2018
Ep. 24 - Beard Science by Penny Reid (Part 2)

Hey y'all! We're back to finish up Beard Science by Penny Reid. This thing has everything: bakery lingerie hustle, counter top make-outs, hot fantasies, adorable flirting, lady love, MORE blackmail, strife, redemption, and a heaping pile of bottom-of-the-heart LOVE! 

Bonus content: what movie would play Erin in a movie? Who was Melody REALLY in Grease? Flamingos versus Dragons, Law and Order with Erin, TMI with Melody, and all the rest of the nonsense you've come to expect from us. 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

- Wear a face mask while watching Jessica Jones, y'all. It's good for your skin and your soul. 

Mar 19, 2018
Ep. 23 - Beard Science by Penny Reid (PART 1)

Hey HB's! We're back in Shark infested waters with Beard Science by Penny Reid. Cletus Winston in is the 3rd brother of 7 siblings in Green Valley, TN and he's the wiliest of the bunch. Meanwhile, Jennifer Sylvester is the Banana Cake Queen of Green Valley and Instagram infamy. Her Momma has BIG plans for her.  What started as a natural talent for baking has become a full-fledged exploitation situation. Can Cletus help her change her life and find out who she really is? A blackmail scheme just might entice him to help... and maybe just fall into the deep hue of impossible her purple eyes. 

This is a listener recommendation from Sallie of The Woolslayers youtube podcast! She and her friend Allen get together and talk about all the GORGEOUS projects they're doing. These ladies are super talented. 

Youtube Page: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQM7hy84kFYZ5VHnI8VZ97Q

Instagram: @woolslayerspodcast

Bonus content: Melody has new holes in her face! Erin saw a big ol' baby on a flight. Fun with misheard lyrics. Rooster the Dog is having a hard time. Lotion?! Who needs lotion?! Could Erin and Melody run a cult together? What plays in Erin's head every time she badmouths Fiona? All that and WAY MORE.

Self Love Recommendations: 

Erin: Check out the spotify playlist "Reading Jane Austen at Downton Abbey" for a EXCELLENT music to read by. 

Melody: Have you wanted to do something and always held back? DO IT! Melody's piercings make her super happy.

Mar 12, 2018
Ep. 23 TRAILER - Beard Science by Penny Reid (PART 1)

Hey listener! Go forth and read Penny Reid's Beard Science. Hurry! We've got oddball mastermind Cletus Winston and Jennifer Sylvester, who is so much more than just the Banana Cake Queen everyone knows her as. Plus, all the fabulous family flavor that the Winston Family dishes out every time.

This is part 1 because Erin and I were feeling the love for the book and each other. Bonus content ABOUNDS. 

Mar 08, 2018
Ep. 22 - Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean (PART 2)

Hey HB's! Let's finish up Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean! When last we met, we left our fabulous heroine and her rake in a carriage on the way back to her house, breasts bouncing in the moonlight. She's determined to finish her list and LIVE, and he just might want to help her do just that for the rest of his eternity. There's fencing, there's dancing, there's dueling, and there's LOVE. 

Mar 05, 2018
Ep. 21 - Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean (PART 1)

It's Part One of Erin and Melody's recap of Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean. Lady Calpernia Hartwell is done with being a well-behaved wallflower, so she seeks out the most handsome, devilish rake in London to help her start misbehaving AND WE COULDN'T STOP SWOONING. Thank you, Erin C, for the recommendation! 

Bonus Content: The Gals decide which characters they are in Grace and Frankie and The Golden Girls, Erin talks about her herbal school classmates, Melody details her dream of starting an elderly lady commune with all her girlfriends, Erin gets a sneak peak of Melody's speech for Erin's wedding (if she's tapped!), the BBC's Fleabag and Hulu's Harlots get some dandy love, and you get the ladies thoughts on whether or not The Odyssey is a romantic story. Spoiler alert: NOPE!

Self Love Recommendations: 

- Watch Grace and Frankie on Hulu! 

- Be a Kendall, not a Krystal. Yes, we watch the Bachelor, yes, we recorded this right after Kendall and Krystal's 2-on-1 date with the human saltine cracker that is Arie. Her compassion, wisdom, and empathy in the face of her hurt feelings WAS INSPIRING. What show were we watching again??

Feb 26, 2018
Ep. 21 TRAILER - Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean

Hey HB's! Get ready for, dare we say it, Melody's favorite historical yet! GO OUT AND BUY AND DEVOUR Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean. Our heroine is the picture of gentlewoman, spinster politeness and is ready to break the mold! Our hero is a dashing and devilish rake who will happily escort her on her exploits, and maybe bare some nip, and some soul, in the process! Monday, February 26 we're coming at you with part one, so keep your bloomers on until then! 

Feb 21, 2018
Ep. 20 - The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare (PART 2)

In this episode, we finish up The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare. There's theater, rain, a jailbreak, redemption, and SEX. YES PLEASE. 

Bonus Content: Does Melody know what animals are? Or sounds? What's in her head? 

Self love recommendations: 

Erin: "You have to give up being perfect to be good, and give up being good to be free." Let that wash over you. 


Melody: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron

Feb 19, 2018
Ep. 19 - The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare (PART 1)

Hey HB's! This marks the first in our multi-part episode coverage of novels with Tessa Dare's The Duchess Deal! We've got a strong, surviving seamstress, a Duke marred by burn wounds, and a marriage of convenience turned redemptive love. This is Melody's favorite heroine and Erin's favorite hero from the brain of Tessa Dare. There's also a colorful cast of side characters including a street cat named Breeches. 

Bonus content: the Alaskan phenomenon that is the drive up bikini coffee bar, burping on cue in the name of motherhood, Erin's thoroughly-researched grasp on historical time periods, and our vast knowledge of fireplaces. 

And seriously, what does "make ready" mean in England times???

Alright, darlings, WERECUNTS UNITE! 

Feb 12, 2018
Special Episode - Changes, Y'all!

Hey you Hot Bitches. We love you. So, so much. But there's been some shite going down with both Erin and Melody which has required us to do a little bit of recalibrating. Until Melody can realize her dream of making this podcast her full time gig, we need to take our own self love recommendations and do what's best for our sleep and sanity. So! Every week you will still have podcast, but some books will be split into 2 part episodes. 

We will also redo the schedules we post and just list the next 10 books we're doing without dates accompanying them. You can still read along! 

We both appreciate everyone who's reached out to us and we fucking LOVE this podcast, so it's not going anywhere. 

Love and light, babes! 

Feb 12, 2018
Ep. 19 TRAILER - The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare

Go forth and "ready yourself" for Monday, February 12 by reading The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare! See how we told you exactly what "making yourself ready" would entail?? That's JUST POLITE. 

This novel had Erin and Melody head over heels in love with everyone. And there's tons of bonus content, too, including a little game called "Who's the Queen Bird?" Intrigued? Make sure to tune in! 

Feb 07, 2018
Ep. 18 - Fifty Shades Freed by EL James

Hooo dangy, the movie is coming out, so we thought you might need a refresher on the final book in the Fifty Shades of Grey series, Fifty Shades Freed! If you read the title and thought, "oh goody, they break up?" you're in good company. Erin's fiance thought the same thing. Alas, no! Go with us on a 580 page journey where things finally happen in the last 20% of the book. Get ready for some verbing of nouns that don't verb (Mel thinks she's soooo charming), frank discussions about the mile high club, and nature making her presence KNOWN in Alaska. 

Please note, we speak quite a bit about controlling tendencies, emotional abuse, etc. 

Self Love Recommendations:

Erin - if you want to relive middle school, Tamagotchi came out with a 25th anniversary pet! Also, dogs. 

Melody - CLEANSE! She's currently on week two of a food based cleanse and she's feeling spry and her crazy sugar cravings are gone. If you feel like you need to reset after the holiday madness, a cleanse is a great way to do that. 

Feb 05, 2018
Ep. 18 TRAILER - Fifty Shades Freed by EL James

On Monday, February 5th we're recapping Fifty Shades Freed by EL James. Just in time for the movie release! See what we did there? Madness, meet Method. Method, go mad after reading 581 pages. 

Feb 01, 2018
Ep. 17 - See Jane Score by Rachel Gibson

This week we read a delicious late nineties treat, See Jane Score by Rachel Gibson. It's got an ambitious journalist, a bad boy hockey goalie, Doc Martens, crushed velvet dresses, scandalous writing under a nom de plume (!), and.... tattoo licking. Into. It. If you like alpha male romances and verbal sex scenes, this is the book for you. 

Bonus content: Melody trying to hockey (or sportzball at all), the wild world of dolphins, and a look into our friendship you may not have been expecting. 

BIG THANKS to Alison Wilkinson for sharing the review she wrote of our show for parent.com. We felt so honored and 'seen.'


Self-Love Recommendation: 

Melody: embrace your weird. Melody loves the macabre in general, specifically murder and cults, and she literally danced in a parking lot when she saw that Last Podcast on the Left's 300th episode arc was a deep dive into The People's Temple and Jonestown. Check it out if that's also on your venn diagram of love! 

Erin: Yeah! Embrace what you love, even if it's terrible. A friend of hers saw Alison's review and divulged that she read all of the Shade of Vampire series. Own your excellence :) 

Jan 29, 2018
Ep. 17 TRAILER - See Jane Score by Rachel Gibson

Hey y'all! Get ready by reading this very late nineties treat, See Jane Score by Rachel Gibson. It's got an ambitious journalist, a bad boy hockey goalie, Doc Martens, crushed velvet dresses, scandalous writing under a nom de plume (!), and.... tattoo licking. Into. It. 

Jan 24, 2018
Ep. 16 - Love Hacked by Penny Reid

This week we discuss listener recommendation, Love Hacked by Penny Reid! Get ready for Star Wars, bitcoins, dry humping, butter chicken, and a new segment, None of Erin’s Opinions Represent the Opinions of Any Agency Featured Prominently in This Book, Nor Are They Drawn From Any Professional Experiences. Also, bonus segment, Drunk Stories with Erin and Melody. Thanks again, Rashmi!


Self Love Recommendations: 

Melody: Do as I say, not as I do and stay hydrated! Your body and mind will thank you. 

Erin: Read Beauty and the Mustache by Penny Reid. SHE'S OBSESSED.

Jan 22, 2018
Ep. 16 TRAILER - Love Hacked by Penny Reid

Go forth and read Love Hacked by Penny Reid! It's #3 in her Knitting in the City series and didn't make Erin crazy or nervous at all! But really, though, this heroine is THE TITS. Enjoy!

Jan 17, 2018
Ep. 15 - Dear Bridget I Want You by Penelope Ward and Vi Keeland

We're finally back to cover another listener recommendation: Dear Bridget, I Want You by Penelope Ward and Vi Keeland! This one features a sexy British doctor, a widowed nurse, and a lot of cheeky sexual “in-yer-end-os.” This episode features some extra special personal news, plenty of Logistics with Erin, the TRUTH about otters (*sobbing emoji*), and a brand new segment we’re calling, Is This Sex Position Physically Possible? 

Self Love Recommendations: 

Erin: Get thyself a bathbomb!

Melody: Seek out a meditation app to take at least 10 minutes for yourself each day. 

Jan 16, 2018
Ep. 15 TRAILER - Dear Bridget I Want You by Penelope Ward and Vi Keeland

It’s that time again, HBs! Start reading for our next 5-Star iTunes review listener recommendation, Dear Bridget, I Want You by Penelope Ward and Vi Keeland! This one features a sexy British doctor, a widowed nurse, and a lot of cheeky sexual “in-yer-end-os,” as Mel would say. This episode also features some extra special personal news, plenty of Logistics with Erin, some hard truths about otters, and a brand new segment we’re calling, Is This Sex Position Physically Possible?  SO STOKED.

Jan 10, 2018
Ep. 14 - When a Scot Ties the Knot by Tessa Dare

READER RECOMMENDATION, Y'ALL! Thank you Stephanie for taking the bribe and bringing Maddie and Logan into our lives! 

In this episode we swoon over When a Scot Ties the Knot by Tessa Dare. It starts in England Times, but quickly travels to Highlander Times. I know, Erin had a hard time keeping up. Just get yourselves ready for a talented, career driven English gentlewoman, a loyal Scottish highlander with depths you can barely measure, a blackmail marriage scheme.... and lobsters. 

Bonus content: Melody's Bagel War, Erin's muppet text messages, Melody's stance on orphans and sexytimes, and how lobsters actually make all the love.

Self Love Recommendations: 

- Google the National Geographic's article on lobster fornication that Erin's boyfriend found. So interesting! Educate yourself! 

- Practice Gratitude and have a goddamned Dance Party. Melody is taking stock of all the wonderful things in her life in the face of some pretty terrible. And dance parties with her toddler help a hell of a lot. Also, if you can't hear it, Erin is the most immediate and adorable empathetic crier. 

Jan 08, 2018
Ep. 14 TRAILER - When a Scot Ties the Knot by Tessa Dare

Are you ready to get steamy with a kilted highlander and a lobster subplot? We didn't know we were either. Come join us for the story of a fanciful, talented wallflower and the beau she thought she invented. READ WHEN A SCOT TIES THE KNOT BY TESSA DARE. Go. Now! 

And thank you "Salem K" for this excellent listener recommendation. We loved it so hard! 

Jan 03, 2018
Ep. 13 - Icecapade by Josh Lanyon

We've got a New Years selection for you to properly ring in 2018: Icecapade by Josh Lanyon! Are you in the mood for forbidden love between a jewel thief and the FBI Agent who has tailed him for a decade? Are you ready for that love story to involve llamas? WE ARE! This was a quick little novella, but it was jam-packed with stuff to talk about! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

- Don't be afraid of a grown up friend sleepover. Erin spent a wonderful weekend with some lady friends in a cabin with board games and it was an experience that fortified the soul. 

- Take some time to do for others. Melody went to an annual party her friend throws where, instead of birthday presents, he requests unwrapped toys to give to the salvation army. She gets a little misty talking about it and reminiscing about other volunteer experiences that have helped her in the process of helping others. 

Jan 01, 2018
Ep. 13 TRAILER - Icecapade by Josh Lanyon

Hey HB's! Ring in the New Year by reading Icecapade by Josh Lanyon. We are SURE GLAD we did! Happy 2018, Bitches! 

Dec 28, 2017
Ep. 12 - Christmastime Cowboy by Maisey Yates

Come on down for our final Christmas book: Christmastime Cowboy by Maisey Yates! If you like tattooed cowboys, grudges, wine, cheese, hair snarling, redemption, and reconnection, you'll love this book. Plus, you get tons of TMI with Melody and Logistics with Erin. And which Bible book has all the "begots"? The answer is we don't know.

Self-Love Recommendations: 

- Get thee the new Kesha album STAT! It's made Melody publicly sob and it's the start of her liberated artistic journey. 

- Tazo has come out with a dessert line of teas and the lemon cake one will change your world. 

- Buy your cowboy/firefighter holiday sex books publicly and with your head held high. HB's unite against romance novel judgement! 

Special note: Thank you for understanding this episode's tardiness. Melody was super sick and still working full time this week. Going to bed at 7:30 every night was not a sound editing strategy. 

Dec 19, 2017
Ep. 12 TRAILER - Christmastime Cowboy by Maisey Yates

Okay, HBs! We're covering Christmastime Cowboy by Maisey Yates. Do you love overcoming grudges and bridging gaps over steaming glasses of festive mulled wine? This book has that. And tattoos. And family redemption. And magic genitals. AND HOLIDAY CHEER! Come get it. 

Dec 13, 2017
Ep. 11 - Christmas on Crimson Mountain by Michelle Major

This week we tackle Christmas on Crimson Mountain by Michelle Major. We were craving a sweet Hallmark-movie-style romance featuring a small town, ice skating, hot chocolate, a winter cabin, a kitten named Jingle, and a heaping dose of Christmas cheer. What we got was that PLUS a beastly widower, a breast cancer survivor, lots of unsolicited grabbery, some light child neglect, and not one but TWO orphans! Buckle up, buttercups. 

Self love recommendations: 

- Shower? This should be a regular life thing, but Melody's in a place. It can wash away whatever's lingering, whether emotional or physical, and smelling nice is always the best way to tackle the day. We gotta start somewhere. 

- If you're injured, take some time for yourself. Don't go cross country skiing and ice skating trying to prove you're an "American Badass." You're not. Also, Melody proves once again that she's not a ice skate-ologist. Take your fancy terms and go to the Chiropractor, Erin! 

Dec 11, 2017
Ep. 11 TRAILER - Christmas on Crimson Mountain

Hey HB's! Get ready for Christmas on Crimson Mountain by Michelle Major. It's got everything - a snow-covered cabin, 2 adorable little girls, a hard-bodied beast in want of redemption, grief, kittens... ice skating! We meant it, there's a lot going on. Can't wait! 

Dec 06, 2017
Ep. 10 - One Hot December by Tiffany Reisz

Hey All! This week we read the final book in Tiffany Reisz's Men at Work series, One Hot December! This one has a bad-ass welder heating things up with a man that’s part construction worker, part CEO (a creature we’ve never seen in the wild, but we are definitely into). We finally got a tiny bit of kink, and we play Fuck-Marry-Kill with the book's leading men and supporting ladies. Get. Stoked. This book also kicks off our holiday series of Christmas books! 

Self Love Recommendations: 

- Let your *parts* breathe, even in the winter. Melody is so committed to this, she's going to create some crotchless leggings for night time. TMI? Sorry not sorry.

- If something has bothered you for a while, fix it, even if no one else cares. Erin decided to get a FACE TATTOO to do just that. She was already the absolute tits, and now there's no denying her bad-assery. 

*one more note: Melody opens up a tiny bit about her mental health in the winter. Seasonal Affective Disorder is tough, folks. Take care of yourselves, and if you take Vitamin D, don't forget to eat a fat with it! Mind. Blown.

Dec 04, 2017
Ep. 10 TRAILER - One Hot December

Hey HB's! Are you ready for the final installment of Tiffany Reisz's Men at Work series? We sure were! Join us on Monday for a metal-welding, brown-leather-jacket-wearing, tattooed, bad ass leading lady and a sexy suit who just wants to call her his own. We highly recommend you read One Hot December - the title doesn't lie!

Nov 29, 2017
Ep. 9 - The Duke and I by Julia Quinn

This week we read The Duke and I by Julia Quinn. Are you a sucker for a rakish Duke, a lady who can throw a punch, and a fake dating scheme? We are TOO! Plus, this is a recommendation from the very first listener email we ever got. We're so thankful for everyone who takes time out of their lives to listen to our little pod, and we love to hear from you. Thank you for loving this crazy genre as much as we do! Now let's get our happily-ever-after on! (Spoiler alert: they end up smooching and loving it).

Self-Love Recommendations: 

- Ginger-infused tea; it'll cure what ails you! 

- Listen to episode 7 of Queery with Cameron Esposito; it's an interview with Stephanie Beatriz about bisexuality, bi-erasure, acting, and "being shitty with yourself" in order to succeed. So good! 

Nov 27, 2017
Ep. 9 TRAILER - The Duke and I

For Monday, November 27th read The Duke and I by Julia Quinn! It's a fabulous combination of heart-racingly-romantic and deeply problematic. You're gonna LOVE it. Thank you Michelle, for our very first listener email and this truly wonderful recommendation! We're so glad you're in this crazy romance world with us.

Nov 22, 2017
Ep. 8 - Her Naughty Holiday by Tiffany Reisz

We love Thanksgiving and we LOVED this sexy Thanksgiving read! It had all the wit, heart, redemption, and STEAM we expect from a good romance novel. Plus, being back in Oregon with a teenager who is straight up goals wasn't too shabby either. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, HBs! 

Self-Love Recommendations: 

- Grab a pal and do something creative and fun. Melody is is on the happy tears train after finally starting this podcast. Also, follow @oliviawilde on instagram; you won't regret it. 

- While on Insta, head over to @bodyposipanda and follow Megan Jayne Crabbe as well! If you like that, you may want to pick up her book Body Positive Power: How to stop dieting, make peace with your body and live. She's a body positive unicorn guru and she makes the world better. 

Nov 20, 2017
Ep. 8 TRAILER - Her Naughty Holiday

Ready for more sexy holiday reads?! We definitely are! In fact, we liked Her Halloween Treat so much that we decided to read ALL THREE of Tiffany Reisz's holiday-themed Men at Work series. Next up is Her Naughty Holiday! Are you wishing that this Thanksgiving you could tell off all your relatives and shack up in a log cabin with a sexy older man who can skillfully fix your deck AND lay pipe? Live vicariously through this heroine with us! Coming Monday 11/19.

Nov 15, 2017
Ep. 7 - Under the Wire by HelenKay Dimon

Erin and Mel read Bad Boys Undercover: Under the Wire by HelenKay Dimon, but mostly talk about how many gunshot wounds is too many for sex. Also, please welcome our new spin-off show, Logistics with Erin. 

Note: this episode was originally recorded in late October, so Ember is BACK! Don't worry for Melody, she made it. 

Self Love Recommendations: 

- Create or join a book club with people you adore. It's good for the soul (this podcast proves it!). 

- Head over to ohmygodyes.com to see what's happening in the science of women's pleasure. There's a one time payment that gets you access to all videos and publications they have to offer. Revenue goes back into funding more research, too! 

Nov 13, 2017
Ep. 7 TRAILER - Under the Wire

In honor of Veterans Day, we decided to read a novel about an elite, tippity-top-secret agency on a sexy rescue mission. Join us on Monday, November 13 to hear all about it! 

Nov 10, 2017
Ep. 6 - The Duchess War by Courtney Milan

This week Erin and Melody read their first historical with The Duchess War by Courtney Milan! This was a beautifully written and surprisingly sexy wallflower-meets-duke story that we both loved, even if the duke was less rakish than Erin had hoped. Enjoy! 

Self Love Recommendations: 

- Take a staycation if you can! Putting your worries on a shelf and being a tourist in your backyard can be very restorative. 

- Take a mental health break if you need it, drawing inspiration from figure skater Gracie Gold.

Nov 06, 2017
Ep. 6 TRAILER - The Duchess War

Hey y'all, get ready for Monday's episode by reading The Duchess War by Courtney Milan. Even Erin thinks you should read it, and you know her general feelings on historicals. SO GOOD! 

Nov 01, 2017
Ep. 5 - A Shade of Vampire by Bella Forrest

This week we read A Shade of Vampire by Bella Forrest! Or, as we’re calling it, 50 Shades of Twilight: A Tale of Teenage Stockholm Syndrome. Full disclosure, we didn’t necessarily *like* this book, but we cannot wait to give you a hilarious after-school special about why we didn’t. We present a *very special episode* about what the kids are reading these days. 

Self Love Recommendations: 

- Watch Big Little Lies on HBO or something else where talented people are slaying the game. 

- Listen to the last 15 minutes of The Ringer's Binge Mode. In the final episode there's a beautiful oration about not being ashamed for your interests and escapism. Plus, best friends gush about each other, which you know we LOVE! 

Episode Notes: 

If you like excellent vampire tales, be sure to check out American Vampire wherever you get your comics! Scott Snyder is the main writer and they've had arcs with Stephen King and more. 

And quick *CORRECTION* from this episode, "women in refrigerators" or "getting refrigerated" began in the 90's with Green LANTERN, not Green Arrow. Either way, I think we can all agree that ladies should be fully formed characters instead of merely plot devices, right? Thank goodness even mainstream comics have seen the light since then!  


Oct 30, 2017
Ep. 5 TRAILER - A Shade of Vampire

Join us on Oct 30th for Shade of Vampire by Bella Forrest. Honestly? We sort of read it so you don't have to.

Oct 27, 2017
Ep. 4 - Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen

Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen is a charming story about witchy sisters falling in love. This is for anyone who loved Practical Magic or Como Agua Para Chocolate, and is in the mood for a sweet, whimsical story about love in all its forms. Sorry, guys, no snark this time, just a lot of mushy goodness, and maybe some laughing through tears. 

Oct 22, 2017
Ep. 3 - Her Halloween Treat by Tiffany Reisz

In this special pumpkin spice edition, Erin and Mel discuss Her Halloween Treat by Tiffany Reisz. This book has everything - mountain cabins, crisp leaves, flannel shirts, and a bearded handyman who wants you to tell him exactly how he should touch you. Mmmhmm yes, please.

Oct 15, 2017
Ep. 3 TRAILER - Her Halloween Treat

Treat yoself by prepping for our next episode! We're reading Her Halloween Treat by Tiffany Reisz and telling you all about it on Monday 10/16. Link below: 



Oct 11, 2017