Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes

By Gavin McInnes

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Subscribers: 1043
Reviews: 14


 Jul 14, 2019


 Jun 14, 2019

Johne
 May 1, 2019
Representative podcast


 Mar 25, 2019

Jack Thomas
 Mar 15, 2019
Truly the best political / satire podcast about really great for listening to on the way to college.

Description

We tried their way. We tried apologies, capitulation, and shame. Now it's time for them to try something: GET OFF MY LAWN. 531625

Episode Date
#153 | The NYPD just came to my house
02:05:54

After carefully discussing a visit by the DA and two detectives at 8 in the morning, we talk about women in that weird part of the world where China meets Eastern Europe. Turns out, their feminists are fat and ugly too. This leads to a discussion on shithole countries and the idiots who get murdered there while trying to prove they’re actually wonderful places to be. When we get to the call in portion of the show, it goes so poorly it becomes funny in a so-bad-it’s-good way.

Jul 18, 2019
#151 | Let's talk to our friends who are going to jail
02:39:42

In this Free Tommy / Free Stone super episode, we sit down with Tommy Robinson and Roger Stone and hear their side of the story. Turns out, Tommy didn’t encourage vigilanteism. He encouraged journalism. Also, Roger didn’t collude with Russia or facilitate Wikileaks. He forgot about a random email from Julian Assange. Later, we examine this new trend in feminism where bitchiness is seen as an empowering trait because it looks powerful. It’s not. You just seem like a person that sucks to hang out with. Oh yeah, we take calls and make fun of men who cry.
NOTE: This is a vidcast of the free podcast so we make it black and white to differentiate it from the daily Get Off My Lawn show which is in color. Go to FreeSpeech.TV today and sign up for tons more daily content just like this. You’ll enjoy yourself. It’s fun.

Jul 11, 2019
#151 | Is segregation racist?
51:55

As someone against segregation, I feel I can speak freely about how surprisingly mainstream voluntary segregation has become. Isn’t this wrong? Is it OK to have separate drinking fountains if we asked for them? Also, I know I said we’re not doing these without involving FreeSpeech.TV anymore but I had to get this subject off my chest as it’s been plaguing me all week. We won’t be doing the call in thing this Thursday because I’m on vacation and doing that Free Speech rally in DC but we will be live streaming it on the site. Boy, I hope I don’t get killed.

Jul 01, 2019
#150 | We are live on FreeSpeech.TV
01:12:17

The audio is still free but it’s live streamed on FreeSpeech.TV where you can call in and ask stupid questions like, “What’s with your face?” We covered the DNC Debates that happened last night but they were so boring we opted to rate the female candidates on a 1-10 scale. Turns out the DNC’s best option is the flaxen-haired Hawaiian, Tulsi Gabbard. The calls range from women thanking us for venerating housewives to some Czechoslovakian who refuses to admit Czechoslovakia sucks.

Jun 27, 2019
#149 | I broke into the train yards the other day, allegedly
49:23

Gavin allegedly may have broken into the train yards to find the phone he left there last night. This is not a confession. The cop that helped him was a wonderful women but are tiny, female, cops really helpful to the force? We’re told they’re good for domestics but tell that to the tiny female cop in Sacramento who was just killed on the job. Once again, in the quest to prove everyone is equal, we are hurting the people we purport to help.

Jun 24, 2019
#148 | Antifa is trying to SWAT our July 6th rally
01:08:54

Now available in vidcast format on FreeSpeech.TV! We dive deeper into the Max Landis controversy because it really sums up how totally lame millennials are - no original ideas and happy to pillory someone outside of the courts because doing it through social media is just more convenient. The male bag reveals old people wear terrible shoes and it is BRUTAL being a single 29-year-old woman in today’s dating climate.

Jun 19, 2019
#147 | Did you enjoy Parents Day yesterday?
01:02:14

We celebrate a belated Father’s day by going over fight stories and making fun of all the jerks who want to trivialize fatherhood because it feels like you’re smashing the patriarchy and that’s supposed to be a good thing. Ryan doesn’t have a dad but I do so let’s talk about him.

Jun 17, 2019
#146 | Go To FREESPEECH.TV
01:01:03

Just as the rain really started to come down, I have completed my ark and loaded the last couple of giraffes. Please climb aboard and register with FreeSpeech.TV. We are the only place where you see the right and the left talking to each other in a fun, honest, and totally uncensored way.

Jun 15, 2019
#145 | Justin Bieber wants to fight Tom Cruise
01:09:45

It was a helluva weekend with three big stories dropping about free speech and yours truly. After covering those scoops, we look at the media’s obsession with promoting drag kids and making everything gay. Why are hockey games being interrupted with videos of “gay” kids in drag? Are they trying to immaculate athletes or is it just bored women at marketing companies choosing the most colorful thing on their To Do list? Us normal dads are starting to get annoyed.

Jun 10, 2019
#144 | Its kind of feminist to be sexist
01:02:53

We’re not sure why but I mention “outer space” about a hundred times in this womencentric episode. Basically, avoiding women when you’re married is a way of showing respect to the woman’s husband and also your wife. Flirting isn’t worth the headache so why bother? We also dip into the mail bag and ready what is easily the gayest letter we’ve ever received.

Jun 04, 2019
#143 | I hate the New York Times
01:15:10

I was recently contacted by NYT reporter Rob Kuznia about my aversion to pornography. Apparently, some sex columnist who calls herself Lux Alptraum claims it’s anti-Semitic. The logic pretzel you need to get to this conclusion is a great example of Clown World journalism and how far papers like the New York Times have fallen. Social Justice Warriors aren’t just blogging at HuffPo anymore. They are at formerly reputable papers like NYT and Washington Post. They’re also on MSNBC and CNN. Antifa and Medium are reputable sources and if someone has a Word doc that says the president paid whores to pee on Obama’s bed, well that’s all the proof we need. What was once an exclusive is now an amateur orgy where the password to get in is, “Nazi.” We also go deep into the Mail Bag and discover our listeners insults could do with a tune-up.

May 29, 2019
#142 | I just got beat up by a cop
01:04:25

More boxing talk before discussing how incredibly funny I am and how every joke has several layers of meaning. This is illustrated by some mediocre sketch ideas. Also, follow me on Telegram, RealGavinMcInnes.

May 23, 2019
#141 | Lets catch up on some mail
47:37

As the title insists, we catch up on mail.

May 21, 2019
#140 | Lets talk about bachelor parties
49:08

Getting into what bachelor parties are all about. Why certain things having to do with sexuality are bad, and why some are harmless. Then we take a look into the mail bag.

May 16, 2019
#139 | So, superhero movies are ruined
55:50
Before getting into how terrible End Game is, we talk about super hero movies in general and how they have been completely gutted by feminism and diversity. Entertainment is about being preached to by assistant professors now and that’s just not entertaining. Don’t miss the 20-minute tangent about New York’s East Village in the early 2000s and over-the-top gay bars. 
May 14, 2019
#138 | The chick from "What we do behind the shadows" is hot
46:38

A surprisingly drunk Gavin manages to mumble about that Greek chick from “What We Do in the Shadows” and relationships in general. Apparently, you can covet your neighbor’s wife if you don’t want her for yourself but instead want other men to court women who are like her. We also glance over the news and dig deep into the mail bag. Lots of relationship advice there too.

May 09, 2019
#137 | A bunch of people just got banned for social media for associating with me
39:45

There are two things going on with this recent social media purge. One, everyone is included in free speech, even bad guys and two, these aren’t those guys. Milo is an eccentric traditionalist who is wary of feminism, Laura Loomer is hooked on Muslim anti-Senitism, and Alex Jones is a guy with seemingly infinite theories, most of which are true! To say they were banned for associating with me is an obvious lie. They were banned for being too effective this close to the next presidential election.

May 06, 2019
#136 | Could you imagine liking Peter Gabriel?
01:12:51

Peter Gabriel sucks and of course, Ryan likes him because he has the worst musical taste in the entire state of NY. We gave some very helpful boxing tips and talked about the two times Gavin’s wife wanted to kill him.

May 02, 2019
#135 | So they're coming after Robert Crumb now
01:07:47

Robert Crumb is clearly one of the greatest artists of all time. The people coming after him and having him removed from museums are buzzkills who don’t get the joke. As usual, they are basing their witch hunt on someone else’s opinion of his work and not his body of work itself. This is always the case with these people. Anyway, we also talk about guns, mass shootings, and tricking kids into thinking Joe Dirt is the new Avengers movie.

Apr 29, 2019
#134 | Roseanne just came out as queer
01:15:23

In this particularly raunchy episode, we discuss the sexual habits of “queers” as well as the rampant STDs sweeping the country and how to deal with them. We also cover roasting marshmallows (related to STDs), soakers, and of course, not making it to the bathroom on time. This is a really gross episode.

Apr 26, 2019
#133 | My friend almost died this weekend on his motorcycle
01:41:05

Wherein we discuss motorcycle problems and several near death experiences on the highway. We also tear through the news and confront the media’s blind spot when it comes to the war on Christianity. Turns out the victims in Sri Lanka were more than just “Easter worshippers.” Boxing and stealing stories also comes up and then we settle into the mail bag for a good bout of Ryan bashing.

Apr 22, 2019
#132 | I think I figured out fighting
01:14:00

We start out this epsiode with a look at boxing and how getting over your fear of being punched comes in handy when riding a motorcycle. This brings us to discussions about combing garageland with your BS detector and how dishonest we all are when it comes to reading the news as a big pile of corny rumors. You don’t care about Lori Loughlin cheating to get her daughter into college. You just want the beautiful people to suffer. You don’t really think the Mueller report is a smoking gun. You just want Trump to lose. We also get deep into some cocaine stories that takes us from Costa Rica to a $30m yacht off the coast of Somalia. It’s a wild ride so take your helmet off and let’s go!

Apr 18, 2019
#131 | And the best part of that is you get Dragon Rice
01:55:24

Though this episode appears to be a wandering mess, there is an important thread throughout which is: We need to be more responsible for ourselves and stop relying on others to solve our problems. Don’t call AAA. Don’t call the cops. Don’t wait for someone to come fix your flat tire. Bribe a tow truck to do it off the books. We also answer letters about child rape in the Catholic church, dads who go to Disneyland alone, bad marriages, and farting.

Apr 15, 2019
#130 | Did you know some men blow dry their toes?
01:23:02

We try to figure out why certain men believe airing out your feet after a shower will prevent toe fungus. It won’t. You’re being duped. Then we talk about the SPLC suit and how many ridiculous lies it includes such as Proud Boys yelling, “He was a f-ing foreigner!” Finally, we dive into the mail bag and use many of the letters as a spring board to bigger, deeper, more scarier conversations.

Apr 10, 2019
#129 | Cops are done
01:22:33

When we were kids we played cops and robbers. More kids wanted to be cops than robbers but today, I doubt anyone wants to be a cop. Paperwork and constant scrutiny has ruined the profession. We send them into the shittiest part of the city and then get made when they don’t act like aristocrats. It’s made today’s cops suicidal but it’s also made sure tomorrow’s cops are just pussies and nerds. We also attack the mail bag.

Apr 08, 2019
#128 | JLo is getting sued for her stripper movie
01:32:36

Before tearing into the male bag, we discuss how gay I am for men (outside of the sexual connotations, obviously). Men are portrayed as sexist dirtbags who see women as human garbage but then you meet us and we’re basically sweeties. This leads to a discussion on boxing, the Proud Boys, hate crimes, gay bashing, apprenticeships, and of course making new guy friends.

Apr 05, 2019
#127 | The tits podcast has been fixed
12:44

This one’s a mini podcast where we announce that we fixed the glitches in the previous podcast (the tits one). We can’t announce this on social media because I’ve been banned from every platform there is. This leaves us no choice but to make announcements here - as separate podcasts. Anyway, it’s fixed. I miss you. Bye.

Apr 02, 2019
#126 | Tits are funny, huh?
01:08:39

In this episode we question everything. Why tits? Why not? Was Gary Coleman killed by his ex-wife Shannon Price? Was Elliot Smith killed by his girlfriend Jennifer Chiba? After all the murder talk, we cleanse the palette with a foray into the UK show Undateables which features mentally handicapped singles trying to navigate the dating scene. We are particularly infatuated with Daniel and his hit album “The Songs of Gigs.” It’s Daniel Johnston meets Jonathan Richman meets that indie UK band "Art Brut".

Apr 02, 2019
#125 | I like to give advice that doesn't make sense
01:21:56

So, some shithole country calling itself Brunei has decided gays need to be stuffed in a hole and beaten with large rocks until they die but what is “gay”? This prompts a lot of name-dropping as well as a discussion about jail, the SPLC, Jussie Smollet, trauma strains, Tina Tchen, black comedy, Kim Foxx, Costa Rica, and Sarah Silverman’s racist past.

Mar 28, 2019
#124 | Can I get some credit for shutting down the SPLC please
01:38:21

Before getting to our turgid mail bag (which is positively bursting at the seams) I want to take a moment to look closely at the imminent demise of the SPLC. My complaint is the reason that organization is falling apart. After going through it, they entire staff realized they were being led by the blind and promptly began firing everyone or forcing them to leave. Founder Morris Dees is out. President Richard Cohen is out. Head of legal Rhonda Brownstein is out. Uh, you’re welcome.

Mar 27, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #123 | Here are 10 tips for young men
01:39:52

1- BE CHEAP: Don’t go out with tons of people for a huge dinner. 2- TAKE ABUSE: You’re not going to make money for the first two years of doing a thing. Get over it. 3- BE FUNN: When courting a lady, focus on having a good time, not getting laid. 4- WEAR CLASSICS: If you’re not into fashion, stick to classics like Chuck Taylors. 5- DON’T FIGHT: If you need to get into a fight, keep it as short as possible. 6- DON’T EAT: Food is for pussies. 7- PARTY RIGHT: Follow the D.O.W.N.E.R. rules. 8- CLEAN YOUR ROOM: The road to improvement starts small. 9- QUIT PORN: Get off the couch. 10- FAMILY FIRST: Make good with your parents and siblings.

Mar 21, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #122 | Everything you've heard about Vice is a lie
01:40:13

In this extra special episode we go over ex NYT executive editor Jill Abramson’s terrible book, “Merchants of Truth: The Business of News and the Fight for Facts.” I only read the parts that were about Vice when I was there and I counted TWENTY, yes TWENTY major factual errors. Since completing the book, Abramson has gone on to do lots of press for it that includes defending the multiple examples of plagiarism and telling many more lies like the allegation Proud Boys are “white nationalist” and I was recently arrested for brawling alongside them.

Mar 18, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #121 | Let's take a really close look at the mail bag
01:33:51

Today's show is dedicated entirely to the mail bag.

We get to a ton of emails, but we've barely scratched the surface.

Mar 14, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #120 | Ricky Gervais' new show is a masterpiece, but
01:15:37

The Netflix series “After Life” is incredibly well written but I don’t think Gervais realizes how sad he makes childlessness and atheism look. Like Ricky, the protagonist has bucked tradition until nothing’s left but your wife and that means, once she’s gone, there’s nothing left. Kids, please learn from the lessons Ricky accidentally taught us: get married, make babies, and believe in God.

Mar 12, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #119 | So Joe Rogan and Jack Dorsey were talking about me
01:30:46

We review the Joe Rogan Twitter special, and correct some of the falsehoods that were sprinkled throughout the discussion of Gavin and the Proud Boys being purged from Twitter. Then we reach into the Male Bag, AKA the Scrotum.

Mar 06, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #118 | I just put a manpon in the garbage
01:23:49

After a lot of heavy politics, we decided to make this episode super funny and comedy oriented. The problem is, simply focussing on funny topics does not a funny podcast make. This ep is less amusing than any of the political ones which may be proof I’m just losing my sense of humor. This episode could be the first of a sad decline in my career as a professional amuser.

Mar 04, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #117 | Did you ever dream of a bit?
01:25:56

After discussing how lame your ideas are when you’re asleep, we get into a hodge podge of topics including all these miserable comedians who tell us how to live our lives. Dude, you just had a nervous breakdown and your buddy tried to kill himself. Stop telling us how to live our lives. We also look at the death of comedy in general, Justin Trudeau’s prostitution scandal, Alex Jones on Joe Rogan, and a bunch of letters we’ve gotten recently in a new segment called “Scrotum” (mail bag).

Feb 28, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #116 | I just flew back from Disney and boy are my arms skinny black wiener things with big white gloves on the end
01:00:27

This one’s all about my vacation where I hung out with some of the fattest people in the entire world. Yikes! America we have a serious obesity epidemic and it appears to be getting worse. Why are you on a Rascal at Disney World? Because walking makes you tired? Yeah, that’s the point. Walking isn’t your enemy, the Rascal is.
Anyway, I took the family to Mets Spring Training in Port St. Lucie as well as Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Universal Studios, Volcano Bay, and Island of Adventure in Orlando. It was pretty fun but I think being a New Yorker may have ruined my personality forever.

Feb 26, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #115 | Ladies and gentlemen, my father, Jimmy McInnes
56:11

I visited my dad in Florida and asked him why the media is in total and utter denial when it comes to the horrific murders of white farmers in South Africa. I also brought mum in to explain why this guy thinks he’s so great - maybe he is.

Feb 23, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #114 | Jussie Smollet is innocent
28:54

Told ya so. Have we reached peak Clown World yet? We have rich black people who grew up white such as Cory Booker and Kamala Harris using a hate crime hoax to push through an anti-lynching bill. Is anyone pro-lynching? Isn’t it already illegal? At this point, we’ve gone so far, you just have to sit back and laugh.

Feb 19, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #113 | Let's list all the people who are a noob
01:30:46

We're in Texas, yeeehaw! Drinking beer, talking about buttholes, treasured memories, and noobs. The audio is weird since we're using Lav mics. There's video of this one, go to my YouTube channel for that. 

Feb 15, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #112 | Stylists ruin movies and TV
01:00:00
Today's podcast mostly revolves around how shitty stylists and wardrobe people in movies ruin everything. It ruined a great AC/DC song. It could've ruined Jaws. We move onto a Vice video of black conservatives and liberals talking to each other. The word retard is bad, right? Why can't people be ideologically opposed and still get along?
 
 
 
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Feb 07, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #111 | Go to DefendGavin.com
01:03:29

Today's episode is mostly covering the SPLC law suit. There's a few detours here and there-- but it's a pretty big thing. It'll get funnier soon, but for now your support would be greatly appreciated. Go to DefendGavin.com to donate whatever you can to help fund us take a stand against the SPLC.

 

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Feb 06, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #110 | Yes Coppercab I accept your challenge
50:41

There's a bunch of hodge-podge in this ep. Gavin agrees to a melee with a buffed up Coppercab, small updates on Jussie Smollet thing, some cringe confessions, Ryan's cringy "Stand Up" video, and more.

 

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Jan 31, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #109 | This is MAGA Country
41:18

The story of Jussie Smollett being gay-bashed by two racists in MAGA hats AND ski masks (how exactly does that work?) is one of the fishiest stories of the year. Was he being stalked and they finally decided to make their move? Why did they ask if he was that “f-—t Empire n——r”? Why do racists care so much about a show they’ve never seen? I’m not saying he’s lying but if this turns out to be a hoax, remember we were among the first to be dubious. However, if it’s true, Gavin commits to a humiliating ritual as an apology for showing skepticism. See inside for more.

 

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Jan 30, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #108 | Roger Stone did nothing wrong
57:59

Today we get into the overkill FBI raid of Roger's home, the suspiciously convenient timing of CNN's reporter who staked out Roger's home due to his "instinct" and an hour later got the footage. SNL had Steve Martin portraying Roger, and it stunk. We also talk stories for kids, pirates, Anthony Cumia becoming one of NYC's "crazy people" and more.

 

 

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Jan 28, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast # 107 | I almost started to cry at therapy yesterday
57:28

Gavin explains why he almost cried yesterday. We talk about boxing and the books Gavin is into lately and then we reveal the truth behind why everyone hates Brad. 

 

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Jan 24, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #106 | After meeting with local authorities we have made the decision to close the school
01:18:44

Ann Coulter says that the only thing all these radical leftists groups have in common is their hatred for white men. I think it’s more specific than that. The far left rolls their eyes at old, white men and don’t really see them as a threat but they have a burning, irrational hatred for a very specific type of young man. They hate healthy, white, Christian, handsome, fit, upper middle class, college-aged men who are likely to be successful and end up happily married. On this podcast we call this archetype “Brad” and try to figure out why everyone hates him so much. Why did everyone run with this Catholic High School story about disrupting an indigenous ceremony? Why were the death threats so vitriolic? What’s with all the hate?

 

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Jan 22, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #105 | So my son called the cops last night
47:36

Gavin's son calls the police. The floor can't be lava. Ryan has tons of parking tickets. Boxing talk, and Ryan wants to get a body blow. Salesmen are pretty skilled. Gavin loses a friend over James Gandolfini's death. Ryan can't tell a story. The soundboard is analyzed. Sex with Oprah. Scary movies. Letting your sexuality define you. 

 

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Jan 21, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #104 | Motley Crue are a christian rock band
01:09:21

If you’re so determined to “shout at the devil,” then you hate him and see him as a threat to your life. I’ve been thinking a lot about the devil these days as I see things go from kinda crappy to downright sinister. Is the concept of “Satan” just a synonym for “evil” or is it more like actual demons coming from hell to do terrible things? I’m not at Alex Jones levels of “there are demons!” but I’m definitely drifting from the whole, “Meh, it just means ‘bad stuff’.”

 

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Jan 16, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #103 | How to have a perfect life
01:34:37

My life is far from perfect. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. This podcast is more a, “Do as I say not as I do” kind of thing. This extra-long ep tells you how to do everything right from birth, childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, marriage, parenthood, and retirement. Short version: try to make your life the 1980s.

 

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Jan 11, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #102 | Why is everyone at the ski hill wearing a goddamn helmet?
53:44

Ryan Katsu Rivera and I just got back from skiing with the family in Okemo. No. that’s not a hospital for Irish cancer patients. It’s a ski hill that’s one of the best family-friendly ski resorts in the North East. Why don’t we revere that more? Why don’t we think of the risks and hard work businessmen put in to a project when we go to a ski hill or a water park or even a building? I think our apathy towards entrepreneurs comes from a general malaise towards men’s accomplishments in general. In an effort to appease feminists we have castrated men and made them into pussies. 

 

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Jan 07, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #101 | I hate "hate has no home here" signs
01:03:48

What do they even mean? You don’t allow Klansmen in your home? Yeah, I thought that was a given. You hate racism? So does 99.99999999% of the population. Why not put a “Rape has no home here” sign on your lawn while you’re at it. This sign does not mean what it says. It either means, “I’m a retard who makes redundant points” or “I believe that president Trump is racist and all his supporters are bigoted anti-Semites who hate blacks and gays and think women should be second class citizens.” You’d think someone that obsessed with justice would be at least a tiny bit concerned about radical Islam but they’re not. There’s even Arabic on the sign! “Hate has no home here” signs are a fuck you to half the country. It’s this kind of cunty behavior that is going to get Trump re-elected. Way to go, assholes.

Jan 04, 2019
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #100 | There are sixteen celebrities on this show
53:51

In this celebrity-packed episode we hang out with at least 16 famous people Ryan Katsu Rivera can do with his mouth. We also get in to the nature of impressions and if it’s even possible to learn how to do them. This episode includes Bill Schulz, Ezra Levant, Sway, Bill Burr, Artie Lange, Tommy Lee Jones, Robert Downey Jr, Sam Elliot, Christopher Walken, Jim Gaffigan, and of course Tony Soprano.  

Dec 06, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #99 | What's it like to be gay?
51:39

In this in depth discussion on homosexuality we get deep inside what it’s like to be gay. It’s all conjecture but we determine that the worst part is 14-18 if you live in an anti-gay environment but after moving to the big city it must be awesome. Unfortunately, it can’t be too wonderful once you get super old and nobody wants you. That makes us feel bad.

Dec 05, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #98 | Being permanently suspended from Twitter is good for your mental health
50:26

After being permanently banned from Twitter (and Facebook and Instagram and everything else) I’ve noticed my IQ went up and my stress level has gone way down. Something about checking in on celebrities, feminists, and politically correct comedians several times a day really chips away at your soul. Kicking out conservatives like Milo, Loomer, Owen Benjamin, Alex Jones etc. has only made the bubble worse. See ya! 

With my new super brain, we check in on academia and discover it’s way worse than we thought and nothing they say makes any sense at all. Sending your kids to college has officially become child abuse. 

Copyright CRTV. All rights reserved.

Nov 30, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #97 | Lena Dunham is leaving Brooklyn
48:35

I have a love hate relationship with Lena Dunham. I obviously hate her politics but she’s made some cool art over the years and the way her fellow feminists have treated her is downright disturbing. The only reason I can see for all this vitriol is jealousy. I think a lot of underachieving females see what she’s done and they resent her for it because it makes them feel bad. I just made that up right now and don’t even mention it in this podcast. Still, it’s a pretty good theory. Like I’ve always said, the less you achieve, the more you trivialize other’s accomplishments.

Copyright CRTV. All rights reserved.

Nov 28, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #96 | I just flew back from Jamaica and boy are my arms irie'd
22:25

After catching up on some fake news about the FBI and “white nationalism,” we get into Jamaican culture and the INSANE story behind dancehall star Buju Banton prison sentence. The singer is just getting out now after five years for telling someone he dealt cocaine. He never dealt cocaine. He just said he did and that’ll land you in prison for five years. Nice free speech, America!

Copyright CRTV. All rights reserved.

Nov 19, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #95 | You need three things to get rich
56:32

You need a hipster, a hacker, and a hustler to get rich. You don’t need a “hound.” You don’t need some busybody on social media spreading irrelevant information. You don’t need a publicist. You don’t need some “badass” feminists who are going to get you sued for making a rude comment. All a start-up needs to get rich is a fanboy, a geek, and a sales guy.

Nov 07, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #94 | I’m literally worse than a thousand literally Hitlers.
55:15

This heavily political show is all about the left’s determination to win this coming election at all costs. They’ve branded me as worse than Hitler and convinced half the country I run a violent street gang. However, much worse than that, this bizarre caravan appears to be sent to the border to make Trump look bad. Are they willing to sacrifice children for a photo op? I’ll survive this persecution, especially after I sue the pants off of everyone involved, but if anyone dies at the border, everyone involved is going to hell. 

Nov 02, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #93 | What’s going on with sex these days?
38:48

I'm out of the loop but what's going on with messing around these days? Are tits still a thing? I've been out of the loop for a while but I'm worried porn and divorce has ruined sex for young people. That sucks because done right, it's pretty fun. Slut walks are sad. 

Oct 30, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #92 | Tommy Robinson is not going to jail today
42:31

While celebrating the fact that Tommy is free (for now) we look back at other cases and start to notice a pattern. The radical left, the media, and the state are determined to dehumanize the right so they can kill them easier. It sounds hyperbolic but sending a British patriot like Tommy to a majority Muslim prison is a death sentence. They've done it already and the only reason he survived the attack is he was tipped off in advance. This sinister corruption is not unique to the UK. We are seeing it here too and we're seeing it right now. 

Oct 23, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #91 | Should Louis CK be allowed to do comedy?
45:03

Louis CK masturbated in front of two women who gave him persmission. For that, many believe he deserves the $35m nosedive his career took. Roseanne made an unfortunate joke she claims had nothing to do with race. For that, she loses control of her life story. Sometimes it gets much worse, the kangaroo courts of social media can get you charged with rape and all kinds of other crimes. How we don't pillory people for jokes and consensual sex and if a real crime occurrs, go to the cops? 

Oct 18, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #90 | I went on an involuntary road trip with two Harry Potter fans
42:47
About 15 years ago, all the flights from Boston to NYC were canceled and all the rental cars were booked. I managed to hitch a ride with two incredibly normal people but they wanted to read Harry Potter aloud the whole time. Why? Why are adults so into children’s books and Star Wars and video games and Comicons? It’s the same with all this Nazi-hunting crap. We are all playing one big Live Action Role Playing game and that’s for kids. 
Oct 17, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #89 | Mob of LIE LIE Proud Boys brutally beat several men
44:39

I get into all the fake news surrounding my Otoya Yamaguchi ceremony we had at the Manhattan Republican Club on Friday, October 12th (the same day Otoya impaled the head of Japan's Socialist Party with a samurai sword). Antifa vandalized the club, terrorized the attendees, lied about "white supremacy," and stole a Proud Boys MAGA hat even though he was with about 30 dudes. Guess what happened, folks. Fuck around and find out. 

Oct 13, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #88 | Every argument comes down to nature VS. nurture
47:15

Identical twins separated at birth are the errant thread that unravels the whole sweater. When they invariably discover each other they have the same dog, same car, similar looking husband, and basically the same vocation. This makes people very uncomfortable because it sounds like eugenics and that’s Nazi shit. Don’t worry kids. You can concede that we are 80% determined from birth without giving up free will and accusing everyone down on their luck of being born that way. 

Oct 09, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #87 | Did I ever tell you about the time I drank AIDS blood?
01:02:37

I start out discussing the dumbest thing I’ve ever done which brings us to Halloween and AIDS in general. I then attempt to quash any beef me and the Proud Boys have with DMS because they are very scary dudes who go to jail - a lot. This brings the conversation to a talk I had with DMS co-founder Scott Ebanks who did 20 years for a crime he didn’t commit (a charge that would have stuck in UK because they are insane). The big picture here is we all get lost in the weeds with petty differences when we should be focussing on real problems like America's corrupt prison system, welfare, the drug war, the opioid crisis, Jihadism, and the normalization of communism. 

Oct 05, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #86 | I'm on that meat diet everyone's talking about
48:33

After 15 years of vegetarianism, I've begun exclusively eating animals because I've realized animals are complete losers. They are just evolutionary tangents that were meant to be human but took a wrong turn somewhere a few million years ago and ended up stuck with no arms and a hammerhead. Might as well eat them. They're just fancy plants AKA "flants."

Oct 02, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #85 | I just flew back from Tommy Robinson’s trial and boy are my arms soccer hooligans
01:03:50

This episode is dedicated to the INSANE charges against Tommy Robinson and the throngs of supporters who showed up to his trial on Thursday. The media class in Britain turns a blind eye to pedophile gangs and focusses all their attention on obfuscating Tommy's message. I have no idea why. I think it's because they hate the working class. The result is one man, alone, fighting on behalf of Britain's children. For more, check out the CRTV Tonight ep dedicated to this trip at CRTV.com. 

Sep 29, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #84 | Sooooo, I got doxxed
47:23

Antifa released my cell phone number to the world and I went through 24 hours of abusive texts, phone calls, and voice mails. Then, the story went mainstream and everyone heard about it. What followed was 24 hours of fans saying, "Vice sucks now" and "Keep fighting the good fight." I kind of prefer the haters because I got a good hard look at the sociofascists on the Alt-Left. Turns out they don't really believe what they say and ultimately just want $1,000 to get their car fixed. Sad.

Sep 25, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #83 | Fight stories are always fun
58:24

I pulled out an oldie but goodie from the fist fight archives in a futile attempt to try and thwart the pussification of today's youth. Getting stabbed and or shot is not good but what's the matter with a brief altercation outside of a bar? At the very least it makes for a good story - and good stories are what podcasts are all about.

Sep 21, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #82 | I think George Soros is terrorizing me
47:19

"Y'all are brutalzing me" exclaimed Ronnie Dobbs and I know how he feels. This conspiracy theory-laden ep has me ranting like Alex Jones about the "sociiofascists" on the "alt-left" who push #Fakenews about me being a Nazi who helped organize Charlottesville. The real point of this ep is to show the gray area between "Globalist billionaires are sabotaging my life" and "Some leftist political groups engage in harassment."

Sep 18, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #81 | W.A.S.P.s are scared of wasps
49:47

After discussing the bizarre phobia W.A.S.P.s have with the common wasp, I get into this culture of fear we live in where men are so scared someone will see their penis, they urinate in the bathroom stall. I don’t know if this kind of stuff angers you but it drives me crazy. I don’t know why I care so much about how other people behave but everything from flip-flops to people who pick their nose drives me up the wall. Then, we get into America’s obsession with race and how that subject dominates the national conversation while the opioid epidemic and child molesters are totally ignored.

Sep 13, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #80 | I’m thinking about getting a jean jacket
40:35

I know it's September 11th but instead of talking about the most effective blow against the West in the history of warfare, I'd rather talk about Westfest where Proud Boys from all over the world go to Vegas to get wasted and fight. It was real fun but I drank so much I am doing this podcast with a hangover that could easily be in the Guinness Book of World Records. 

Sep 11, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #79 | It’s weird how the roles in a marriage naturally evolve.
46:13

Insipired by a video Stossel did called "How Government Caused the Boy Crisis" I take a look at the different roles moms and dads have in a marriage. I do all the driving. She does all the cooking. I handle the outside of the house. She handles the inside. I tell the kids not to shit their pants. She consoles them if they do. It works. 

Sep 07, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #78 | Is doing good impressions something you're born with?
42:30

I sit down with my right hand man Ryan Katsu Rivera and we discuss his ability to do impressions. I can’t do them. Is that because I haven’t tried or is it just a skill you can’t acquire. Would I be able to do Tony Soprano if I worked on it for hours at a time? I don’t think so. There has to be some kind of physical traits your born with that enable you to mimic sound better than others.

Sep 05, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #77 | Strip clubs are like women church
48:35

I start out talking about how awesome strip clubs are which doesn’t make sense because I haven’t been to one since my daughter was born. Doesn’t that mean there’s something depraved and sexist about them? Whatever. The bigger picture here is men are depicted as these drooling creeps but we’re actually very reverent. We appreciate women’s bodies. How about women appreciate all the awesome stuff we do like build garbage trucks? Those things are pretty involved. I think we could all do with a heaping dose of reverence and respect for all of man’s creations and that includes strippers.

Aug 30, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #76 | What’s blue and is a circle?
47:25
After two weeks on the lam, I’m back to talk about my road trip and all the weird places I visited in Niagara Falls, rural Ontario, and Montreal. Turns out Niagara Falls is trashier than ever, rural Ontario is still paradise, and Montreal has completely lost its mind. 
Aug 27, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #75 | Can You Guys Stop Ruining Art, Please?
44:32

Austin is banning bands and ruining their careers for not following the rules. I don’t want artists to follow the rules. I don’t even want them to know what the rules are. Same with movies. I don’t want to know how actors feel about climate change and the latest tax cuts. I want to pretend they are being chased by CIA operatives through Budapest. We keep ruining art by dissecting it and exposing every intimate detail. That’s like watching a chick get ready to go out. It ruins the surprise.

Aug 15, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #74 | I Think You Have X-Amount of "Chi" In You Per Day
45:55
I start out talking about how productive you can be and if it’s predetermined. I also ask if taking drugs like Adderall can change that amount which gets me on a tangent about being introduced to the drug by Johnny Knoxville and what it was like hanging out with the Jackass dudes. It was fun because they’r’e fun. There’s a moral there and it’s simple: Don’t do drugs. OK maybe do some but know you’re just borrowing from tomorrow’s productivity. 
Aug 10, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #73 | You ever been shot with a super soaker while reading the newspaper?
50:08

What was supposed to be a funny episode about all the cute things my five-year-old does, quickly spirals out of control and becomes an angry old man rant about water, elaborate drinks, and the fact that 100% of kids in America are addicted to staring at various screens. If they’re not playing a video game they’re watching a video of someone else playing a video game and this constant over stimulation is leaving them with no creativity and unable to play like normal kids. It’s an epidemic and it’s destroying an entire generation’s childhood.

Aug 07, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #72 | There's a funny thing happening in comedy
44:28

This is a very serious episode about jokes and what’s happened to them. Political correctness has infiltrated all of comedy now and the result is sketch comedy, stand-up, movies, and TV are only allowed to offend one group: kids. Comedy is still wildly offensive but only in regards to that group. The end result is the bits become even more disgusting because you’re seeing comics handle blacks, Jews, gays etc with kid gloves and then treating children like they’re human garbage.

Aug 02, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #71 | I Was in the Special Class When I Was 12
45:44

Initially my teachers thought I was gifted but after doing a few tests, they realized I was borderline “special needs” and put me in a class with the dumbest kids in the school. The strange thing about this class was it also included kids who teachers just didn’t want to look at. There was an autistic kid, a hemophiliac, and some random chick dying of cancer. They all had good grades but they made teachers uncomfortable so off to the Special Class they went. 

Aug 01, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #70 | There's a weird bald dude in front of my house.
49:54

In today's episode of "Living in the suburbs" we meet a weird dude who's been meditating and praying in front of my house. After confronting him and assuming he was a complete mental patient, I saw him being normal at a bar where a black guy stormed in and threatened to kill us all, first with a baseball bat, then with a gun.

Jul 27, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #69 | 35 years ago today George Brett had the greatest temper tantrum in the history of baseball
47:22

I begin the show celebrating the 35th anniversary of my favorite temper tantrum: the time George Brett attacked a ref for calling off a victory due to some stupid rule about the bat. Then we examine the time Brett got food poisoning and poo’d his pants. This strangely segues into guns and what it would be like to be a ghost.

Jul 24, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #68 | Don't have sex with women in Toronto
46:04

In this cockamamie theory episode, I posit the assumption that you need to be at least tangentially associated with the Mediterranean to be good in bed. Girls from Montreal are good lays because they are originally French and the south of France is on the Mediterranean. Girls from Toronto, however, are not even remotely linked to that body of water and despite having kick ass bodies, they do not know what to do with them.

Jul 20, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #67 | My mom's a bitch
46:36

This was the speech I was going to do for my parent's 50th Anniversary party but my dad kiboshed it because he said his friends are 70 now and they don't like swear words. Oh well, his loss is your gain. 

Jul 17, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #66 | You ever know anyone who sleepwalked?
46:39

I start off laughing at sleepwalkers and all the stupid stuff they say but this somehow drifts into a talk about 9-11 and what it was like in NYC that day. Then it gets all heavy and I start crying like a little bitch.

Jul 13, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #65 | It's fun to talk to kids about barf.
35:35

I had food poisoning the other night and I can't help but think it was my history with LSD that enabled me to overcome the last barf session. This leads to a discussion about the long term effects of hallucinogenic drugs. 

Jul 11, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #64 | I had farts last night that could have ended my marriage
43:36

This ep is all farts all the time as I delve into how bad flatulence can effect how your wife feels about you. Being Scottish and also a severe alcoholic means I have a weak stomach that is constantly being abused. That leads to toots that are so severe, I’ve often had people in public assume there was some kind of chemical spill (not in Glasgow, of course, they know what time it is there because they have the same problems). I make a few small tangents about not being vulnerable around your significant other but this ep is almost fanatical in it’s dedication to fart talk. Actually, if it was a talk show it would be called Fart Talk with Gavin McInnes.

Jul 06, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #63 | You just got knocked the f**k out!
55:02

After a weekend of rioting, I focus on one particular punch that summarizes the problem with millennial arrogance. Why would you pick a fight with someone who could clearly kick your ass? Because he’s a Nazi? I don’t get that. First of all, he isn’t. Secondly, if he was, aren’t you scared of him? I used to fight Nazi skinheads in the late 80s and I was petrified of every confrontation. They were very scary dudes and they kicked the crap out of us on a regular basis. This somehow segues into the number of women in action movies and how distracting it is to see a super model murder a gang of thieves who rob banks during hurricanes.

Jul 03, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #62 | Milo did nothing wrong
35:50

In this Special Edition of GOML, we dish all the latest celebrity gossip on Milo, Justin Theroux, and Will Ferrell. I also get into this right VS. left civil war and how likely the left is to be crushed by the gun-owning, super grumpy, right wing brawlers they keep picking fights with.

Jun 29, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #61 | Has everybody lost they damn minds?
40:14
I start out talking about this new trend of yelling at Trump supporters for no other reason than you’re a mental patient. I went through it recently at a baseball game and it’s not scary or shocking. It’s just weird. Like when a homeless person zeroes in on you for some crazy reason. Then, I get into people picking fights with someone they couldn’t possibly take. Most of us learned not to do this at an early age but today’s youngsters want to throw down with people who would happily eat them for breakfast. Finally, I start talking about dealbreakers men have when it comes to women’s beauty. Outside of morbid obesity, there is one doozy we just cannot bend on. See if you can guess what it is (no it’s not a penis, you weirdo).
Jun 26, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #60 | It must be weird to be gay
54:54

This was supposed to be about how weird it is to be gay but I went off on a tangent about some jerk who peed all over the toilet seat in Montreal and I sat on it. How are we, in a modern Western society, having to wash stranger’s pee off our butt cheeks and legs?

Jun 22, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #59 | Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday
57:53

I start out getting mad at Tina Fey for pooping on America using the cute humor that came from having an awesome midwestern childhood with conservative parents. This leads to chastising all baby boomers for basically doing the same thing. Then, I take a 90 degree turn and devote the rest of the show to this weird mod kid I knew named Matt who kidnapped his girlfriend and went to prison for a long time. Back when we were roaming the streets of New York City, we broke into a Tofu factory and discovered dozens of illegal aliens being kept as slaves.  

Jun 19, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #58 | Ladies, it's not the jocks you have to watch out for, it's the nerds
47:02

Like you, I grew up assuming all jocks were date rapers and all beta-male, feminist ally, stand-up comedians were good people with a heart of gold. Turns out, the opposite is true. It appears nerds such as Chris Hardwick are the ones abusing women while the alpha male jokes are washing the barf off of drunk girls and carefully tucking them in. At the end, we discuss SaveTommy.com and how important it is to pitch in.

Jun 15, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #57 | I guess I better talk about this Vice article in New York Mag
46:22

Most of this podcast is about the NY Mag article that just came out entitled, “A Company Built on a Bluff.” New Vice and old Vice are obviously denoted by me leaving in 2008 and it certainly wasn’t a bluff back then. I don’t know much about them post 2008 but I’m assuming that when the sales guy takes over the editorial, the content is going to get a lot more advertorial.

Jun 12, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #56 | Why does my daughter need to know the surface area of a rhomboid?
51:21

I start out railing against schools and teachers and how totally incompetent they all are. New York City schools are way worse than you could possibly imagine. It’s basically one big Animal House (but less funny). Then we get deep into the Nazi myth and how insane you’d have to be to honestly think white supremacy is a real thing and a threat to American society. It’s no less nuts than Bigfoot chasing.

Jun 08, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #55 | Everyone's almost died right?
40:41

It’s back to adolescence for today’s podcast where I go over all the times I almost died in the 80s. It’s the same for everyone right? Didn’t we all almost drown that one time or we were standing too close to the edge of a building before a perceptive friend grabbed us and pulled us back to safety. I guess the ones who did fall off aren’t hear to read this. Being a teenager is real and it’s fun but it’s not real fun to constantly be kicking the grim reaper in the nuts and asking, “So, what are you going to do about it, wimp?” Thank God we all made it.

Jun 05, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #54 | My son often looks at me like I got something on my face
37:16

Today’s episode is mostly about having kids and how they go from being cute guys who say crazy things to thinking you’re an idiot. Having them hang out with kids who have nannies doesn’t help. I worry that it teaches a culture where adults are your servants. I wonder how the children of these nannies feel about their mom being away. Anyway, this heavy subject matter is peppered with stories about drawing on someone’s face when they’re passed out.

Jun 01, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #53 | Roseanne is cancelled and Tommy's in jail!
38:35

Today I talk about two friends of mine who are in big trouble. I don’t know Roseanne very well but we’ve spoken a few times and she’s never come across as racist - more just obsessed with Israel and the safety of Jewish people. That being said, she should have known the left was waiting to devour any mistake she made and she should have known using the term ape anywhere near a black person was going to explode minds. I know Tommy very well and his case is completely different. The British government is abusing their power and jailing him for a year for simply approaching a group of Muslim pedophiles and saying, “All right, lads. How you feeling about your verdict?"

May 29, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #53 | Women are insane
40:12

On today’s Memorial Day podcast we discuss what it’s like to date a woman with spaghetti legs.

May 25, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #52 | Did you ever write a song when you're baked?
45:16

To switch things up, I tried recording this podcast in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep. It’s about being stoned and how hallucinogenic drugs can help expand your mind - permanently. I haven’t done LSD in about 30 years but whenever I have the hiccups I just concentrate and say, “I don’t want these anymore” and they go away. This is because of acid. Steve Jobs agrees. Well, “agreed."

May 22, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #51 | You know that age when you really get into something?
45:33

This rambling hodgepodge of a show was meant to be an involved look at how we grow as adolescents but it quickly degenerated into me punching a boom box in frustration while trying to play tapes of my old bands.

May 18, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #50 | My phone addiction has reached critical mass
42:31

I am on my phone almost as much as you are and we need to stop. It’s preventing us from having deep thoughts and it’s removing us from ourselves. This is making us weaker when we meet new people. Not to sound too LA but when you’ve worked on yourself, you’re more comfortable around people. Like America, if people don’t like you, they can leave. You have to like you first and that begins with getting away from your damn phone (I typed this on my phone BTW).

May 15, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #49 | A lot of my buddies are being framed
42:08

You ever notice that when a newspaper writes about your hometown or something you know a lot about, they get everything wrong? That’s true of all media. It’s also true of the entire justice system. All my friends are being threatened with jail time for crimes they didn’t commit but we are not going to let that happen.

May 11, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #48 | I invented a new diet
30:42
I’ve lost almost a pound a day with a new diet I invented called “Beer Starvation.” All you do is grab a beer and nurse it every time you’re starving. The only time you can eat is at dinner. That’s it. The end result is a smaller stomach which means, when you finally do eat, you only need a few bites. All this fancy exercise and paleo this and gluten that is just lazy people trying to cheat the basic truth that all you have to do to lose weight is burn more calories than you take in.
May 08, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #47 | My wife asked Nick Cave what he has for lunch last night
52:35

I wish I could tell you about my wife and kids more, but crazy people make it a dangerous thing to do. In this ep I talk generally about marriage and what it’s like to have little kids. It’s fun but you need to watch out for the alphas. They are the enemies within and will literally kick you out of bed.

May 04, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #46 | I never really got tits
48:37

In this pornographic NSFW podcast, I get into the different types of tits and why my friend got AIDS. There’s also the time in high school the uncircumcised guys would fight the circumcised guys by wedgie-ing them to death. The moral of all these stories is men appreciate women a lot more than women seem prepared to admit. Basically, we’d sleep with any woman who hasn’t appeared on “My 600-lb life."

May 01, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #45 | Did you know whales are dogs?
36:10

This one is all about evolution. Basically, life is just a magic goo that started out billions of years ago and was meant to be you and me but ended up on all kinds of stuff. Water bears and hammerhead sharks are losers. We won. Also, it’s possible we lived under water for a long time. There’s even a tribe called the Badjao who are doing it right now!

Apr 27, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #44 | Picking up garbage has nothing to do with helping the environment
39:10

We start out attacking my neighbors for picking up twigs on earth day. Apparently sticks are bad for the environment and buying tons of plastic bags to pick them up is good for mother earth. Then, I talk about my weekend which included hanging out with cops and riding a boat around Manhattan. There were two major fights and Milo Yiannopoulos got chased out of a restaurant but otherwise it was a pretty fun weekend.

Apr 24, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #43 | Why does everything have to be so perfumed?
47:09

I start out crapping on doggie doo doo bags and how much I hate that they’re perfumed. This starts a whole rant about all the things I hate including flip-flops, fake boobs, baby boomers’ ring tones, the beeping sound trucks make when they go in reverse, helmets on ski slopes, and the way restaurants give everyone a gigantic glass of water before anyone orders anything. I thought the common thread for all of these would be deception but self-indulgence and cowardice are also big contenders. When I become dictator, all of this will be abolished.

Apr 20, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #42 | Let's Just Abolish School
45:28

I start out with a pretty reasonable idea: liberal arts colleges are a complete waste of time and you should only go to college if you’re going to take STEM. However, soon after, I get radical and suggest that grade school should be about 80% recess with only a few, curious students doing any real studying. Sure, they should learn to read and write but the rest should be up to the few who really want to learn. Oh, and kids should also have random jobs like building license plates. This new structure would leave a society with only about 5% getting higher education. Good. Now we have way less student debt and way more tradesmen. Insisting everyone is smart is stupid.

Apr 17, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #41 | I didn't quit Fox News
51:02

In this sizzling hot episode, I gossip about my eight years at Fox News and dish all the gossip while naming names. The short version is that it’s a great place to work with very moral people but their hiring practices are a little too PC for a straight, white male like myself. The long version is, well, the long version is this podcast.

Apr 13, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #40 | Marriage is Easy
46:27

While it’s fun to sow your wild oats, I want to make the case for moving on here. Young people, partying and getting STDs is fun for like, a decade, but it gets old around 25. Try moving on to the next chapter. Feminism and porn is making both of you think there’s no point to life but take it from someone who crossed over to the other side, there is another world out here. Also, married people, can we stop treating divorce like it’s a casual trip to the dentist. It’s a brutal procedure that destroys kids lives (the same kids I was just trying to sell marriage to). Traditionalism may be uncool but ignoring its merit gets sadder and sadder as you get old.

Apr 10, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #39 | I Was Just Listening to Kathy Griffin on Howard Stern
42:51

Although this episode is primarily focussed on comedy and the First Amendment, we get political and examine the difference between how censorship affects the right and the left. I believe non-liberals get it far worse, especially the moderate New Right because we’re appealing to young people and therefore considered a more dangerous threat than the Far Right.

Apr 06, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #38 | I'd Like to Tell You About a Lunatic
46:48

This one’s all about the early aughts in New York City and hanging out at gay bars with my friend Trevor. You’d be surprised how easy it is to meet chicks in that environment but New York is still a violent place and fist fights are just a normal part of going out.

Apr 03, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #37 | I'm Not Proud Of This But I Pretended I Was Retarded
41:30
Wherein I focus exclusively on all the hustles, scams, and cheats I have perpetuated over the years. We accompany each tale with a morality rating and I usually come out looking pretty bad.
Mar 30, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #36 | Fighting Solves Everything
57:22

I go over half a dozen fights I had as a young man and use them to prove that violence is just. Being bullied as just as important as bullying because they teach you the inevitable truth that we live in a kill or be killed society. This helps you in business and just about every other interaction you have. You’re not a man until you’ve had the crap beaten out of you, beaten the crap out of someone, had your heart broken, and broken a heart. This ep focusses on the first two.

Mar 27, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #35 | I Forgot Something in the Heroin Episode
50:39

I start out getting to some unturned stones from the previous heroin episode and then focus on the gays. We talk about the myth of trans, the lack of homosexuals in the suburbs, and the absurd notion that people in big cities are homophobic. I also wonder aloud if gay suicide is some kind of subconscious recognition they’re weird. They’re not evil or an abomination or anything Fred Phelps-y but like a vegetarian lion or an albino, they are unusual and that’s got to chip away at you over time.

Mar 23, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #34 | Had A Lot of Friends Die of Heroin Overdoses
49:17
On today’s heroin special we look back at all my friends who OD’d and how that relates to the modern opioid epidemic. Turns out heroin ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Mar 20, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #33 | The Best Childhood
56:52

In this issue I try to sell you on the idea of having children because I use to be like you and my only regret is that I waited so long to have a family. Within this pitch, I also get into marriage tips like, “It’s OK to have a bad year” and parenting tips such as, “You can be friends with them when they’re young or friends with them when you’re old. You can’t have both.”

Mar 16, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #32 | Zambia has Outlawed Sex Dolls
01:32:19

Wherein the host, me, argues that we used to be much less humorless 20-30 years ago. Xenophobia was considered amusing and it was simply a given that the West is the best. To prove this, I go over some examples of anti-PC comedy from the 70s (PJ O’Rourke’s National Lampoon essay “Foreigners Around the World”) and use it to not only prove that xenophobia can be amusing but also that the West is inarguably superior to everywhere else in the world.

Mar 13, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #31 | Remember When Matt and Trey Were Called South Park Conservatives?
42:59

This episode was meant to be a look at the socially liberal, libertarian views of Matt Stone and Trey Parker but it quickly veers into nothing but unsubstantiated gossip about the two comedy legends.

Mar 09, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #30 | How To Be a Man.
30:41

Being a man isn’t about lifting 350lbs and knowing how to replace a carburetor. It’s about not being a self-hating pussy who can’t wait to show his weaknesses to the world. If you can’t be the man we all wish you could be, fake it.

Mar 07, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #29 | You Have to Make Your Own Culture
01:13:32

Having fun in high school has nothing to do with where you are or how much money you have. It has to do with how much culture you can invent. Come up with stupid rules and enforce them with vigilance. Get in trouble. Make mistakes. If you can’t be a human disaster when you’re a teenager, when can you be? This episode focusses on my high school years at the Earl of March in Kanata and all mind-blowing idiocy we used to get up to.

Mar 02, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #28 | You Know Those Guys Who Refuse to Grow Up?
28:22

When you’re “cool” in high school it’s like being king of the world. When you’re that same guy well into adulthood, it’s downright sad. This episode uses my friend Artie as the perfect example of when cool jumps the shark. Time to grow up, Arthur.

Feb 27, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #27 | I Was a Black Man for a Day in New York City
29:42

I stole this concept from Chadwick Moore. If you’re white, pretend you’re black for a day and see how many things could be construed as racist. If you’re black, pretend you’re white and see how many things could be explained away as just life in the big city. This can be extrapolated to gay (as Chadwick did), female, trans, fat, and any other group that claims victim status. It’s very possible the person out to get you is you.

Feb 23, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #26 | You Ever Hear a Joke and You Go, "How is That a Joke?"
28:57

As an incredibly funny person, I like to riff with strangers. Over the years, I’ve realized about 5% of the population can riff back. 30% of people enjoy humor and then there’s the 70% who are wondering why you’re saying a thing that isn’t true. Within the entire 95% of non-riffers there is this bizarre contingent of people who try to joke around by using random words that make absolutely no sense in a comedic context. I’ve written some of these down and would like to share them with you.

Feb 20, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #25 | You Wanna Get Rich?
44:55

Outside of making a ton of cash in media, I’ve also done well in advertising, real estate, and the stock market. I still work, however, because I like it and ironically, that’s how you get rich. You work hard. The other details are less obvious and include: be humble (you can be replaced), get it in writing, know your worth. This episode examines all of these helpful tips and why they work.

Feb 16, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #24 | Valentine's Day is for the Boys
34:13

Today, I talk about that awkward age for boys when girls go from having cooties to being goddesses. It’s fun reliving all these various stages with my own kids but I’m constantly amazed how much of parenting today is about keeping them away from screens. My dad had no money and his childhood sounded like heaven. My kids have all they need and I’m constantly trying to drag them back to - if not my dad’s era  - the 1970s so they can experience some danger and excitement.

Feb 12, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #23 | I Can Make an Atheist Argument for the Existence of God
29:39

Atheists, you can believe in God, too. Just call it “nature.” This episode proves God exists and makes the case for a supreme being who pushed the first domino 14 billion years ago and has not sweat the small stuff since.

Feb 09, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #22 | I Used to Live in a Yuppie Building
33:52

To whine about gentrification and call it genocide is to be a giant cry baby that turns crime and degradation into some kind of sacred culture that must be preserved. That being said, living with yuppies is extremely irritating. They are spoiled brats who would rather watch a black handicapped woman die, than be seen as racist.

Feb 06, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #21 | On The Inside, I’m a Four
44:11

Outside of murder, mental illness, and drug addiction, family is forever. Friends however, renew their contract about once a year which is usually how often you have a really big fight. I just said a permanent goodbye to my pal of 35 years, Steve. You will do the same with your closest friends. Sometimes you cancel your friend plan after the first year. Sometimes you renew the contract for decades. It will eventually end, especially if one of you has a family and the other doesn’t. If it’s permanence you’re looking for (and you are) start a family. 

Feb 02, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #20 | My gay uncle just died
47:55

He was in his late 60s but he died in the closet last week and it breaks my heart. He was a great man who had a rough life and the idea of never openly being yourself just sounds like infinite torture to me. Poor bastard. May he rest in peace.

Jan 30, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #19 | Good Day I’m Winston Churchill
31:35

Very excited to have dead Prime Minister Winston Churchill guest host this week’s podcast. He’s been awoken from the slumber of death by all this recent Hollywood attention but it’s not making the egomaniac more proud. It’s actually making him doubt his legacy. Churchill goes back to the Boer War of 1900 to re-examine his life and consider the possibility that he wasn’t, in fact, a hero who saved millions of lives. He may have been the opposite.

Jan 26, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #18 | I don't like conservative events
44:07

Though “A Night For Freedom” and the insanity that surrounded it was covered in great detail on Monday’s “Get Off My Lawn,” I wanted a freebie for the masses so everyone could see how completely unhinged the Alt-Left have become. To have basically the same beliefs as your dad is considered “Alt-Left” in 2018 and we all need to die, especially if we dare congregate in private to hear each other speak. We have officially entered the realm of the unwell.

 

Jan 23, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #17 | We jumped a guy the other night
01:00:27

This isn’t going to happen again but this episode is just about my week. It gets its own show because it involved: knife fights, spies, cocaine, heroin, prison, guns, Anthony Cumia, James O’Keefe, Milo Yiannopoulos, Ann Coulter, Artie Lang, Stefan Molyneaux, Mike Cernovich, antifa, Proud Boys, and police. It’s been the most insane time of my life and the week isn’t even over yet.

Jan 19, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #16 | Did you ever see someone go crazy?
01:13:45

One of the great things about old as hell is you’ve seen a lot of people change over the years. A good 94% of them stay the same but 5% go on to be wildly successful and then 1% completely lose their minds. The takeaway here is not trying to change these stats but just give thanks that we didn’t get sucked into that tiny vortex of total insanity.

Jan 13, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #15 | I've met a lot of celebrities over the years
58:47

I’ve met tons of celebrities, not because I’m fabulous, but because that’s working in media for a quarter century. Like being a hairdresser or doing makeup. You get to know some. This episode grazes stories about Kimberly Guilfoyle, Jennifer Aniston, Jimmy Kimmel, Steve Coogan, Tommy Lee, and Curtis Mayfield. The takeaway is celebrities aren’t special and being famous sucks.

Jan 05, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #14 | Tell me something that's true that almost nobody agrees with you on
01:23:32

PayPal founder Peter Thiel says this is the ideal question for job interviews, but it's also a great question for hanging out with your buddies in a bar. While playing this game over the holidays we learned: Mentors leave you worse off, teamwork doesn’t work, 95% of education is a complete waste of time, America is racist toward white people, our idea of domestic abuse is deeply flawed, and no food is bad food if you simply burn more than you take in.

 

Dec 30, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #13 | How To Pick up Chicks
55:22

Amidst all of this sexual harassment, we are starting to see young men completely give up. The cons are outweighing the pros, and the whole idea of courtship and romance is being replaced with porn and loneliness. In this crucial sex guide, I tell guys how to avoid the friend zone without coming across as a rapist. This war on sex and all things fun is rooted in communism and hatred for traditionalism, so getting laid is no trivial matter. It’s imperative to our survival as a species.

Note: The name of the Antifa kid I was trying to remember in this episode is Nathan Andrew Hose. He killed himself on August 15th, 2017.

Dec 22, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #12 | I Had A House in Costa Rica
01:02:48

Pura Vida! Today’s episode is all about my place in Costa Rica and the twisted culture that goes on in “Montefuma.” Not only are there endless mountains of cocaine, but murder and death are rampant. One guy even died of a hangover. I just sold the house, and I’m glad. Screw living abroad.

 

Dec 15, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #11 | As a cop, I've seen things that would make you crap a book on how to puke
01:19:56

As an entrepreneur, I’ve done very well for myself but as anyone who makes money will tell you, it’s one big win for every dozen or so failures. I made tons of money in real estate but lost tons of money to the restaurant business. I made great money in media but also lost money in media. I had a successful career writing TV pilots but, at the same time, I consider my TV career a complete failure. This episode documents my 15-years in TV making great money failing.

Dec 08, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #1 | I Slept In The Car Last Night
01:28:12

In this, debut episode Gavin discusses having to sleep in his car with a shotgun because the Alt-Left is out to get him. He talks about the dangers of being right wing in liberal New York and how this new version of McCarthyism is affecting his marriage.

NOTE: This show is an extra freebie with all new content and it’s based on Gavin’s TV show of the same name which can be found on CRTV.com. Use promo code GAVIN if you’re getting a whole year. Membership includes all their shows including “Louder With Crowder,” “Michelle Malkin Investigates,” and “Levin TV."

Dec 06, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #3 | I Screwed Up
01:30:34

Gavin begins the show lamenting the Weinstein victim he lost as a guest. He then uses Harvey’s crimes as an example of what happens when we pretend women and men are exactly the same. Finally, we discuss the left’s war on America and how it’s really just dads vs. spoiled brats.

Dec 06, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #10 | A Lot Of People Are Trying To Get Me Fired
01:31:15

I don’t necessarily want to talk about politics. I like talking about Beyoncé’s stupid hair or how men shouldn’t be riding on the back of motorbikes but the left has gone full “crazy ex-girlfriend” and is willfully ignoring real bigotry in a vapid attempt to root it out where it isn’t. Illegal aliens murdering people is irrelevant but using a racial epithet is a capital offense. If a Muslim rapes a girl he needs education but if a man thinks a woman would be much happier at home, he’s a rapist. We’re forced to talk about these subjects and fight for the West because the left has lost it. They are willfully ignoring what is right in front of them out of some bizarre revenge quest. Ok, fine, we’ll bite. Let’s fight.

Dec 01, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #9 | How To Be Funny
01:08:16

Being funny is a delicate art form. One stutter or misplaced word and the joke is lost. I’s like a Fabregé Egg. The Thought Police are trying to tell us how we can joke around with each other and their rules are cracking our eggs. This podcast attempts to tape up these cracks by giving you a basic funny kit you can use with family, friends, and the people who serve you booze.  

Nov 24, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #8 | It Sucks Being Famous
01:11:33

Gavin talks about why fame is really overrated. He tells a story about Justin Theroux's experience with paparazzi on his motorbike. After that he talks about a recent story from the New York Post about him and his former company. The podcast then turns into an autobiography about his life after leaving his former company in 2008.

Nov 17, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #7 | I Had A Funny Night Last Night
01:39:41

If you were to write a book on How to Ruin America it would read like a playbook for the left. They trivialize math so they can spout platitudes with no real data to back it up. They tell women to give up on being a mom and they tell men their masculinity is “toxic.” The scoff at the American family while i importing millions of other families to replace them. They disrespect Christianity and Judaism while treating Islam like it created the Western world. Then, just as the West is being stripped of all its history and self-worth, they drown their citizens in a mountain of debt so they are permanently chained to the state. The best way to fight back against these saboteurs is to ignore their rhetoric and just be normal. Get a job. Start a family. Live within your means. And be free.

Nov 10, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #6 | Good Day and Welcome
01:10:22

Let’s meet Gavin’s dad, Jimmy McInnes who stopped in on his way to Florida to tell us all about life in the slums of Glasgow. He busted out of that hellhole and moved to England where he made Gavin and then brought the whole family to Canada. Jimmy’s life provides a good backbone to measure the ways the West has changed over the past 70 years.

Nov 03, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #5 | I Was Raped
01:20:40

Gavin goes in depth into all the recent sexual harassment cases. He talks about an experience where he could have been seen as a victim of rape. Much of the podcast was about how some people end up trivializing the experiences of women who were victims of rape.

Oct 27, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #4 | People In New York Smell Bad
01:09:49

Today we introduce several controversial ideas including the notion that you really don’t enjoy frozen french fries but you eat them out of habit. We examine the difference between the left’s enforcement of their own dogma and the right’s ability to simply hope people adhere to decency. And finally, what about Trump making a special day for each color like, “National Blue Day” where everyone wears blue to work. It would be stupid and fun which is what the West is all about.

Oct 20, 2017