Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes

By Gavin McInnes | CRTV

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We tried their way. We tried apologies, capitulation, and shame. Now it's time for them to try something: GET OFF MY LAWN. For more from Gavin visit and use code Gavin for a $10 discount on his daily show.

Episode Date
Get Off My Lawn #74 | I Think You Have X-Amount of "Chi" In You Per Day
I start out talking about how productive you can be and if it’s predetermined. I also ask if taking drugs like Adderall can change that amount which gets me on a tangent about being introduced to the drug by Johnny Knoxville and what it was like hanging out with the Jackass dudes. It was fun because they’r’e fun. There’s a moral there and it’s simple: Don’t do drugs. OK maybe do some but know you’re just borrowing from tomorrow’s productivity. 
Aug 10, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #73 | You ever been shot with a super soaker while reading the newspaper?

What was supposed to be a funny episode about all the cute things my five-year-old does, quickly spirals out of control and becomes an angry old man rant about water, elaborate drinks, and the fact that 100% of kids in America are addicted to staring at various screens. If they’re not playing a video game they’re watching a video of someone else playing a video game and this constant over stimulation is leaving them with no creativity and unable to play like normal kids. It’s an epidemic and it’s destroying an entire generation’s childhood.

Aug 07, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #72 | There's a funny thing happening in comedy

This is a very serious episode about jokes and what’s happened to them. Political correctness has infiltrated all of comedy now and the result is sketch comedy, stand-up, movies, and TV are only allowed to offend one group: kids. Comedy is still wildly offensive but only in regards to that group. The end result is the bits become even more disgusting because you’re seeing comics handle blacks, Jews, gays etc with kid gloves and then treating children like they’re human garbage.

Aug 02, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #71 | I Was in the Special Class When I Was 12

Initially my teachers thought I was gifted but after doing a few tests, they realized I was borderline “special needs” and put me in a class with the dumbest kids in the school. The strange thing about this class was it also included kids who teachers just didn’t want to look at. There was an autistic kid, a hemophiliac, and some random chick dying of cancer. They all had good grades but they made teachers uncomfortable so off to the Special Class they went. 

Aug 01, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #70 | There's a weird bald dude in front of my house.

In today's episode of "Living in the suburbs" we meet a weird dude who's been meditating and praying in front of my house. After confronting him and assuming he was a complete mental patient, I saw him being normal at a bar where a black guy stormed in and threatened to kill us all, first with a baseball bat, then with a gun.

Jul 27, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #69 | 35 years ago today George Brett had the greatest temper tantrum in the history of baseball

I begin the show celebrating the 35th anniversary of my favorite temper tantrum: the time George Brett attacked a ref for calling off a victory due to some stupid rule about the bat. Then we examine the time Brett got food poisoning and poo’d his pants. This strangely segues into guns and what it would be like to be a ghost.

Jul 24, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #68 | Don't have sex with women in Toronto

In this cockamamie theory episode, I posit the assumption that you need to be at least tangentially associated with the Mediterranean to be good in bed. Girls from Montreal are good lays because they are originally French and the south of France is on the Mediterranean. Girls from Toronto, however, are not even remotely linked to that body of water and despite having kick ass bodies, they do not know what to do with them.

Jul 20, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #67 | My mom's a bitch

This was the speech I was going to do for my parent's 50th Anniversary party but my dad kiboshed it because he said his friends are 70 now and they don't like swear words. Oh well, his loss is your gain. 

Jul 17, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #66 | You ever know anyone who sleepwalked?

I start off laughing at sleepwalkers and all the stupid stuff they say but this somehow drifts into a talk about 9-11 and what it was like in NYC that day. Then it gets all heavy and I start crying like a little bitch.

Jul 13, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #65 | It's fun to talk to kids about barf.

I had food poisoning the other night and I can't help but think it was my history with LSD that enabled me to overcome the last barf session. This leads to a discussion about the long term effects of hallucinogenic drugs. 

Jul 11, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #64 | I had farts last night that could have ended my marriage

This ep is all farts all the time as I delve into how bad flatulence can effect how your wife feels about you. Being Scottish and also a severe alcoholic means I have a weak stomach that is constantly being abused. That leads to toots that are so severe, I’ve often had people in public assume there was some kind of chemical spill (not in Glasgow, of course, they know what time it is there because they have the same problems). I make a few small tangents about not being vulnerable around your significant other but this ep is almost fanatical in it’s dedication to fart talk. Actually, if it was a talk show it would be called Fart Talk with Gavin McInnes.

Jul 06, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #63 | You just got knocked the f**k out!

After a weekend of rioting, I focus on one particular punch that summarizes the problem with millennial arrogance. Why would you pick a fight with someone who could clearly kick your ass? Because he’s a Nazi? I don’t get that. First of all, he isn’t. Secondly, if he was, aren’t you scared of him? I used to fight Nazi skinheads in the late 80s and I was petrified of every confrontation. They were very scary dudes and they kicked the crap out of us on a regular basis. This somehow segues into the number of women in action movies and how distracting it is to see a super model murder a gang of thieves who rob banks during hurricanes.

Jul 03, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #62 | Milo did nothing wrong

In this Special Edition of GOML, we dish all the latest celebrity gossip on Milo, Justin Theroux, and Will Ferrell. I also get into this right VS. left civil war and how likely the left is to be crushed by the gun-owning, super grumpy, right wing brawlers they keep picking fights with.

Jun 29, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #61 | Has everybody lost they damn minds?
I start out talking about this new trend of yelling at Trump supporters for no other reason than you’re a mental patient. I went through it recently at a baseball game and it’s not scary or shocking. It’s just weird. Like when a homeless person zeroes in on you for some crazy reason. Then, I get into people picking fights with someone they couldn’t possibly take. Most of us learned not to do this at an early age but today’s youngsters want to throw down with people who would happily eat them for breakfast. Finally, I start talking about dealbreakers men have when it comes to women’s beauty. Outside of morbid obesity, there is one doozy we just cannot bend on. See if you can guess what it is (no it’s not a penis, you weirdo).
Jun 26, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #60 | It must be weird to be gay

This was supposed to be about how weird it is to be gay but I went off on a tangent about some jerk who peed all over the toilet seat in Montreal and I sat on it. How are we, in a modern Western society, having to wash stranger’s pee off our butt cheeks and legs?

Jun 22, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #59 | Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday

I start out getting mad at Tina Fey for pooping on America using the cute humor that came from having an awesome midwestern childhood with conservative parents. This leads to chastising all baby boomers for basically doing the same thing. Then, I take a 90 degree turn and devote the rest of the show to this weird mod kid I knew named Matt who kidnapped his girlfriend and went to prison for a long time. Back when we were roaming the streets of New York City, we broke into a Tofu factory and discovered dozens of illegal aliens being kept as slaves.  

Jun 19, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #58 | Ladies, it's not the jocks you have to watch out for, it's the nerds

Like you, I grew up assuming all jocks were date rapers and all beta-male, feminist ally, stand-up comedians were good people with a heart of gold. Turns out, the opposite is true. It appears nerds such as Chris Hardwick are the ones abusing women while the alpha male jokes are washing the barf off of drunk girls and carefully tucking them in. At the end, we discuss and how important it is to pitch in.

Jun 15, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #57 | I guess I better talk about this Vice article in New York Mag

Most of this podcast is about the NY Mag article that just came out entitled, “A Company Built on a Bluff.” New Vice and old Vice are obviously denoted by me leaving in 2008 and it certainly wasn’t a bluff back then. I don’t know much about them post 2008 but I’m assuming that when the sales guy takes over the editorial, the content is going to get a lot more advertorial.

Jun 12, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #56 | Why does my daughter need to know the surface area of a rhomboid?

I start out railing against schools and teachers and how totally incompetent they all are. New York City schools are way worse than you could possibly imagine. It’s basically one big Animal House (but less funny). Then we get deep into the Nazi myth and how insane you’d have to be to honestly think white supremacy is a real thing and a threat to American society. It’s no less nuts than Bigfoot chasing.

Jun 08, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #55 | Everyone's almost died right?

It’s back to adolescence for today’s podcast where I go over all the times I almost died in the 80s. It’s the same for everyone right? Didn’t we all almost drown that one time or we were standing too close to the edge of a building before a perceptive friend grabbed us and pulled us back to safety. I guess the ones who did fall off aren’t hear to read this. Being a teenager is real and it’s fun but it’s not real fun to constantly be kicking the grim reaper in the nuts and asking, “So, what are you going to do about it, wimp?” Thank God we all made it.

Jun 05, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #54 | My son often looks at me like I got something on my face

Today’s episode is mostly about having kids and how they go from being cute guys who say crazy things to thinking you’re an idiot. Having them hang out with kids who have nannies doesn’t help. I worry that it teaches a culture where adults are your servants. I wonder how the children of these nannies feel about their mom being away. Anyway, this heavy subject matter is peppered with stories about drawing on someone’s face when they’re passed out.

Jun 01, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #53 | Roseanne is cancelled and Tommy's in jail!

Today I talk about two friends of mine who are in big trouble. I don’t know Roseanne very well but we’ve spoken a few times and she’s never come across as racist - more just obsessed with Israel and the safety of Jewish people. That being said, she should have known the left was waiting to devour any mistake she made and she should have known using the term ape anywhere near a black person was going to explode minds. I know Tommy very well and his case is completely different. The British government is abusing their power and jailing him for a year for simply approaching a group of Muslim pedophiles and saying, “All right, lads. How you feeling about your verdict?"

May 29, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #53 | Women are insane

On today’s Memorial Day podcast we discuss what it’s like to date a woman with spaghetti legs.

May 25, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #52 | Did you ever write a song when you're baked?

To switch things up, I tried recording this podcast in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep. It’s about being stoned and how hallucinogenic drugs can help expand your mind - permanently. I haven’t done LSD in about 30 years but whenever I have the hiccups I just concentrate and say, “I don’t want these anymore” and they go away. This is because of acid. Steve Jobs agrees. Well, “agreed."

May 22, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #51 | You know that age when you really get into something?

This rambling hodgepodge of a show was meant to be an involved look at how we grow as adolescents but it quickly degenerated into me punching a boom box in frustration while trying to play tapes of my old bands.

May 18, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #50 | My phone addiction has reached critical mass

I am on my phone almost as much as you are and we need to stop. It’s preventing us from having deep thoughts and it’s removing us from ourselves. This is making us weaker when we meet new people. Not to sound too LA but when you’ve worked on yourself, you’re more comfortable around people. Like America, if people don’t like you, they can leave. You have to like you first and that begins with getting away from your damn phone (I typed this on my phone BTW).

May 15, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #49 | A lot of my buddies are being framed

You ever notice that when a newspaper writes about your hometown or something you know a lot about, they get everything wrong? That’s true of all media. It’s also true of the entire justice system. All my friends are being threatened with jail time for crimes they didn’t commit but we are not going to let that happen.

May 11, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #48 | I invented a new diet
I’ve lost almost a pound a day with a new diet I invented called “Beer Starvation.” All you do is grab a beer and nurse it every time you’re starving. The only time you can eat is at dinner. That’s it. The end result is a smaller stomach which means, when you finally do eat, you only need a few bites. All this fancy exercise and paleo this and gluten that is just lazy people trying to cheat the basic truth that all you have to do to lose weight is burn more calories than you take in.
May 08, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #47 | My wife asked Nick Cave what he has for lunch last night

I wish I could tell you about my wife and kids more, but crazy people make it a dangerous thing to do. In this ep I talk generally about marriage and what it’s like to have little kids. It’s fun but you need to watch out for the alphas. They are the enemies within and will literally kick you out of bed.

May 04, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #46 | I never really got tits

In this pornographic NSFW podcast, I get into the different types of tits and why my friend got AIDS. There’s also the time in high school the uncircumcised guys would fight the circumcised guys by wedgie-ing them to death. The moral of all these stories is men appreciate women a lot more than women seem prepared to admit. Basically, we’d sleep with any woman who hasn’t appeared on “My 600-lb life."

May 01, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #45 | Did you know whales are dogs?

This one is all about evolution. Basically, life is just a magic goo that started out billions of years ago and was meant to be you and me but ended up on all kinds of stuff. Water bears and hammerhead sharks are losers. We won. Also, it’s possible we lived under water for a long time. There’s even a tribe called the Badjao who are doing it right now!

Apr 27, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #44 | Picking up garbage has nothing to do with helping the environment

We start out attacking my neighbors for picking up twigs on earth day. Apparently sticks are bad for the environment and buying tons of plastic bags to pick them up is good for mother earth. Then, I talk about my weekend which included hanging out with cops and riding a boat around Manhattan. There were two major fights and Milo Yiannopoulos got chased out of a restaurant but otherwise it was a pretty fun weekend.

Apr 24, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #43 | Why does everything have to be so perfumed?

I start out crapping on doggie doo doo bags and how much I hate that they’re perfumed. This starts a whole rant about all the things I hate including flip-flops, fake boobs, baby boomers’ ring tones, the beeping sound trucks make when they go in reverse, helmets on ski slopes, and the way restaurants give everyone a gigantic glass of water before anyone orders anything. I thought the common thread for all of these would be deception but self-indulgence and cowardice are also big contenders. When I become dictator, all of this will be abolished.

Apr 20, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #42 | Let's Just Abolish School

I start out with a pretty reasonable idea: liberal arts colleges are a complete waste of time and you should only go to college if you’re going to take STEM. However, soon after, I get radical and suggest that grade school should be about 80% recess with only a few, curious students doing any real studying. Sure, they should learn to read and write but the rest should be up to the few who really want to learn. Oh, and kids should also have random jobs like building license plates. This new structure would leave a society with only about 5% getting higher education. Good. Now we have way less student debt and way more tradesmen. Insisting everyone is smart is stupid.

Apr 17, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #41 | I didn't quit Fox News

In this sizzling hot episode, I gossip about my eight years at Fox News and dish all the gossip while naming names. The short version is that it’s a great place to work with very moral people but their hiring practices are a little too PC for a straight, white male like myself. The long version is, well, the long version is this podcast.

Apr 13, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #40 | Marriage is Easy

While it’s fun to sow your wild oats, I want to make the case for moving on here. Young people, partying and getting STDs is fun for like, a decade, but it gets old around 25. Try moving on to the next chapter. Feminism and porn is making both of you think there’s no point to life but take it from someone who crossed over to the other side, there is another world out here. Also, married people, can we stop treating divorce like it’s a casual trip to the dentist. It’s a brutal procedure that destroys kids lives (the same kids I was just trying to sell marriage to). Traditionalism may be uncool but ignoring its merit gets sadder and sadder as you get old.

Apr 10, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #39 | I Was Just Listening to Kathy Griffin on Howard Stern

Although this episode is primarily focussed on comedy and the First Amendment, we get political and examine the difference between how censorship affects the right and the left. I believe non-liberals get it far worse, especially the moderate New Right because we’re appealing to young people and therefore considered a more dangerous threat than the Far Right.

Apr 06, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #38 | I'd Like to Tell You About a Lunatic

This one’s all about the early aughts in New York City and hanging out at gay bars with my friend Trevor. You’d be surprised how easy it is to meet chicks in that environment but New York is still a violent place and fist fights are just a normal part of going out.

Apr 03, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #37 | I'm Not Proud Of This But I Pretended I Was Retarded
Wherein I focus exclusively on all the hustles, scams, and cheats I have perpetuated over the years. We accompany each tale with a morality rating and I usually come out looking pretty bad.
Mar 30, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #36 | Fighting Solves Everything

I go over half a dozen fights I had as a young man and use them to prove that violence is just. Being bullied as just as important as bullying because they teach you the inevitable truth that we live in a kill or be killed society. This helps you in business and just about every other interaction you have. You’re not a man until you’ve had the crap beaten out of you, beaten the crap out of someone, had your heart broken, and broken a heart. This ep focusses on the first two.

Mar 27, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #35 | I Forgot Something in the Heroin Episode

I start out getting to some unturned stones from the previous heroin episode and then focus on the gays. We talk about the myth of trans, the lack of homosexuals in the suburbs, and the absurd notion that people in big cities are homophobic. I also wonder aloud if gay suicide is some kind of subconscious recognition they’re weird. They’re not evil or an abomination or anything Fred Phelps-y but like a vegetarian lion or an albino, they are unusual and that’s got to chip away at you over time.

Mar 23, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #34 | Had A Lot of Friends Die of Heroin Overdoses
On today’s heroin special we look back at all my friends who OD’d and how that relates to the modern opioid epidemic. Turns out heroin ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Mar 20, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #33 | The Best Childhood

In this issue I try to sell you on the idea of having children because I use to be like you and my only regret is that I waited so long to have a family. Within this pitch, I also get into marriage tips like, “It’s OK to have a bad year” and parenting tips such as, “You can be friends with them when they’re young or friends with them when you’re old. You can’t have both.”

Mar 16, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #32 | Zambia has Outlawed Sex Dolls

Wherein the host, me, argues that we used to be much less humorless 20-30 years ago. Xenophobia was considered amusing and it was simply a given that the West is the best. To prove this, I go over some examples of anti-PC comedy from the 70s (PJ O’Rourke’s National Lampoon essay “Foreigners Around the World”) and use it to not only prove that xenophobia can be amusing but also that the West is inarguably superior to everywhere else in the world.

Mar 13, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #31 | Remember When Matt and Trey Were Called South Park Conservatives?

This episode was meant to be a look at the socially liberal, libertarian views of Matt Stone and Trey Parker but it quickly veers into nothing but unsubstantiated gossip about the two comedy legends.

Mar 09, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #30 | How To Be a Man.

Being a man isn’t about lifting 350lbs and knowing how to replace a carburetor. It’s about not being a self-hating pussy who can’t wait to show his weaknesses to the world. If you can’t be the man we all wish you could be, fake it.

Mar 07, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #29 | You Have to Make Your Own Culture

Having fun in high school has nothing to do with where you are or how much money you have. It has to do with how much culture you can invent. Come up with stupid rules and enforce them with vigilance. Get in trouble. Make mistakes. If you can’t be a human disaster when you’re a teenager, when can you be? This episode focusses on my high school years at the Earl of March in Kanata and all mind-blowing idiocy we used to get up to.

Mar 02, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #28 | You Know Those Guys Who Refuse to Grow Up?

When you’re “cool” in high school it’s like being king of the world. When you’re that same guy well into adulthood, it’s downright sad. This episode uses my friend Artie as the perfect example of when cool jumps the shark. Time to grow up, Arthur.

Feb 27, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #27 | I Was a Black Man for a Day in New York City

I stole this concept from Chadwick Moore. If you’re white, pretend you’re black for a day and see how many things could be construed as racist. If you’re black, pretend you’re white and see how many things could be explained away as just life in the big city. This can be extrapolated to gay (as Chadwick did), female, trans, fat, and any other group that claims victim status. It’s very possible the person out to get you is you.

Feb 23, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #26 | You Ever Hear a Joke and You Go, "How is That a Joke?"

As an incredibly funny person, I like to riff with strangers. Over the years, I’ve realized about 5% of the population can riff back. 30% of people enjoy humor and then there’s the 70% who are wondering why you’re saying a thing that isn’t true. Within the entire 95% of non-riffers there is this bizarre contingent of people who try to joke around by using random words that make absolutely no sense in a comedic context. I’ve written some of these down and would like to share them with you.

Feb 20, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #25 | You Wanna Get Rich?

Outside of making a ton of cash in media, I’ve also done well in advertising, real estate, and the stock market. I still work, however, because I like it and ironically, that’s how you get rich. You work hard. The other details are less obvious and include: be humble (you can be replaced), get it in writing, know your worth. This episode examines all of these helpful tips and why they work.

Feb 16, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #24 | Valentine's Day is for the Boys

Today, I talk about that awkward age for boys when girls go from having cooties to being goddesses. It’s fun reliving all these various stages with my own kids but I’m constantly amazed how much of parenting today is about keeping them away from screens. My dad had no money and his childhood sounded like heaven. My kids have all they need and I’m constantly trying to drag them back to - if not my dad’s era  - the 1970s so they can experience some danger and excitement.

Feb 12, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #23 | I Can Make an Atheist Argument for the Existence of God

Atheists, you can believe in God, too. Just call it “nature.” This episode proves God exists and makes the case for a supreme being who pushed the first domino 14 billion years ago and has not sweat the small stuff since.

Feb 09, 2018
Get Off My Lawn #22 | I Used to Live in a Yuppie Building

To whine about gentrification and call it genocide is to be a giant cry baby that turns crime and degradation into some kind of sacred culture that must be preserved. That being said, living with yuppies is extremely irritating. They are spoiled brats who would rather watch a black handicapped woman die, than be seen as racist.

Feb 06, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #21 | On The Inside, I’m a Four

Outside of murder, mental illness, and drug addiction, family is forever. Friends however, renew their contract about once a year which is usually how often you have a really big fight. I just said a permanent goodbye to my pal of 35 years, Steve. You will do the same with your closest friends. Sometimes you cancel your friend plan after the first year. Sometimes you renew the contract for decades. It will eventually end, especially if one of you has a family and the other doesn’t. If it’s permanence you’re looking for (and you are) start a family. 

Feb 02, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #20 | My gay uncle just died

He was in his late 60s but he died in the closet last week and it breaks my heart. He was a great man who had a rough life and the idea of never openly being yourself just sounds like infinite torture to me. Poor bastard. May he rest in peace.

Jan 30, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #19 | Good Day I’m Winston Churchill

Very excited to have dead Prime Minister Winston Churchill guest host this week’s podcast. He’s been awoken from the slumber of death by all this recent Hollywood attention but it’s not making the egomaniac more proud. It’s actually making him doubt his legacy. Churchill goes back to the Boer War of 1900 to re-examine his life and consider the possibility that he wasn’t, in fact, a hero who saved millions of lives. He may have been the opposite.

Jan 26, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #18 | I don't like conservative events

Though “A Night For Freedom” and the insanity that surrounded it was covered in great detail on Monday’s “Get Off My Lawn,” I wanted a freebie for the masses so everyone could see how completely unhinged the Alt-Left have become. To have basically the same beliefs as your dad is considered “Alt-Left” in 2018 and we all need to die, especially if we dare congregate in private to hear each other speak. We have officially entered the realm of the unwell.


Jan 23, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #17 | We jumped a guy the other night

This isn’t going to happen again but this episode is just about my week. It gets its own show because it involved: knife fights, spies, cocaine, heroin, prison, guns, Anthony Cumia, James O’Keefe, Milo Yiannopoulos, Ann Coulter, Artie Lang, Stefan Molyneaux, Mike Cernovich, antifa, Proud Boys, and police. It’s been the most insane time of my life and the week isn’t even over yet.

Jan 19, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #16 | Did you ever see someone go crazy?

One of the great things about old as hell is you’ve seen a lot of people change over the years. A good 94% of them stay the same but 5% go on to be wildly successful and then 1% completely lose their minds. The takeaway here is not trying to change these stats but just give thanks that we didn’t get sucked into that tiny vortex of total insanity.

Jan 13, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #15 | I've met a lot of celebrities over the years

I’ve met tons of celebrities, not because I’m fabulous, but because that’s working in media for a quarter century. Like being a hairdresser or doing makeup. You get to know some. This episode grazes stories about Kimberly Guilfoyle, Jennifer Aniston, Jimmy Kimmel, Steve Coogan, Tommy Lee, and Curtis Mayfield. The takeaway is celebrities aren’t special and being famous sucks.

Jan 05, 2018
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #14 | Tell me something that's true that almost nobody agrees with you on

PayPal founder Peter Thiel says this is the ideal question for job interviews, but it's also a great question for hanging out with your buddies in a bar. While playing this game over the holidays we learned: Mentors leave you worse off, teamwork doesn’t work, 95% of education is a complete waste of time, America is racist toward white people, our idea of domestic abuse is deeply flawed, and no food is bad food if you simply burn more than you take in.


Dec 30, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #13 | How To Pick up Chicks

Amidst all of this sexual harassment, we are starting to see young men completely give up. The cons are outweighing the pros, and the whole idea of courtship and romance is being replaced with porn and loneliness. In this crucial sex guide, I tell guys how to avoid the friend zone without coming across as a rapist. This war on sex and all things fun is rooted in communism and hatred for traditionalism, so getting laid is no trivial matter. It’s imperative to our survival as a species.

Note: The name of the Antifa kid I was trying to remember in this episode is Nathan Andrew Hose. He killed himself on August 15th, 2017.

Dec 22, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #12 | I Had A House in Costa Rica

Pura Vida! Today’s episode is all about my place in Costa Rica and the twisted culture that goes on in “Montefuma.” Not only are there endless mountains of cocaine, but murder and death are rampant. One guy even died of a hangover. I just sold the house, and I’m glad. Screw living abroad.


Dec 15, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #11 | As a cop, I've seen things that would make you crap a book on how to puke

As an entrepreneur, I’ve done very well for myself but as anyone who makes money will tell you, it’s one big win for every dozen or so failures. I made tons of money in real estate but lost tons of money to the restaurant business. I made great money in media but also lost money in media. I had a successful career writing TV pilots but, at the same time, I consider my TV career a complete failure. This episode documents my 15-years in TV making great money failing.

Dec 08, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #10 | A Lot Of People Are Trying To Get Me Fired

I don’t necessarily want to talk about politics. I like talking about Beyoncé’s stupid hair or how men shouldn’t be riding on the back of motorbikes but the left has gone full “crazy ex-girlfriend” and is willfully ignoring real bigotry in a vapid attempt to root it out where it isn’t. Illegal aliens murdering people is irrelevant but using a racial epithet is a capital offense. If a Muslim rapes a girl he needs education but if a man thinks a woman would be much happier at home, he’s a rapist. We’re forced to talk about these subjects and fight for the West because the left has lost it. They are willfully ignoring what is right in front of them out of some bizarre revenge quest. Ok, fine, we’ll bite. Let’s fight.

Dec 01, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #9 | How To Be Funny

Being funny is a delicate art form. One stutter or misplaced word and the joke is lost. I’s like a Fabregé Egg. The Thought Police are trying to tell us how we can joke around with each other and their rules are cracking our eggs. This podcast attempts to tape up these cracks by giving you a basic funny kit you can use with family, friends, and the people who serve you booze.  

Nov 24, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #8 | It Sucks Being Famous

Gavin talks about why fame is really overrated. He tells a story about Justin Theroux's experience with paparazzi on his motorbike. After that he talks about a recent story from the New York Post about him and his former company. The podcast then turns into an autobiography about his life after leaving his former company in 2008.

Nov 17, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #7 | I Had A Funny Night Last Night

If you were to write a book on How to Ruin America it would read like a playbook for the left. They trivialize math so they can spout platitudes with no real data to back it up. They tell women to give up on being a mom and they tell men their masculinity is “toxic.” The scoff at the American family while i importing millions of other families to replace them. They disrespect Christianity and Judaism while treating Islam like it created the Western world. Then, just as the West is being stripped of all its history and self-worth, they drown their citizens in a mountain of debt so they are permanently chained to the state. The best way to fight back against these saboteurs is to ignore their rhetoric and just be normal. Get a job. Start a family. Live within your means. And be free.

Nov 10, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #6 | Good Day and Welcome

Let’s meet Gavin’s dad, Jimmy McInnes who stopped in on his way to Florida to tell us all about life in the slums of Glasgow. He busted out of that hellhole and moved to England where he made Gavin and then brought the whole family to Canada. Jimmy’s life provides a good backbone to measure the ways the West has changed over the past 70 years.

Nov 03, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #5 | I Was Raped

Gavin goes in depth into all the recent sexual harassment cases. He talks about an experience where he could have been seen as a victim of rape. Much of the podcast was about how some people end up trivializing the experiences of women who were victims of rape.

Oct 27, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #4 | People In New York Smell Bad

Today we introduce several controversial ideas including the notion that you really don’t enjoy frozen french fries but you eat them out of habit. We examine the difference between the left’s enforcement of their own dogma and the right’s ability to simply hope people adhere to decency. And finally, what about Trump making a special day for each color like, “National Blue Day” where everyone wears blue to work. It would be stupid and fun which is what the West is all about.

Oct 20, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #3 | I Screwed Up

Gavin begins the show lamenting the Weinstein victim he lost as a guest. He then uses Harvey’s crimes as an example of what happens when we pretend women and men are exactly the same. Finally, we discuss the left’s war on America and how it’s really just dads vs. spoiled brats.

Dec 06, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #2 | I’m Sorry, I Can’t Get Over This

Gavin discusses Milo’s most recent controversy where this gay Jew with a black husband has been caught at a karaoke bar where patrons were sieg heiling. He also gets into the evolution of the McInneses and how his kids have infinitely more money than his father but their childhoods seem less fun.

Dec 06, 2017
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #1 | I Slept In The Car Last Night

In this, debut episode Gavin discusses having to sleep in his car with a shotgun because the Alt-Left is out to get him. He talks about the dangers of being right wing in liberal New York and how this new version of McCarthyism is affecting his marriage.

NOTE: This show is an extra freebie with all new content and it’s based on Gavin’s TV show of the same name which can be found on Use promo code GAVIN if you’re getting a whole year. Membership includes all their shows including “Louder With Crowder,” “Michelle Malkin Investigates,” and “Levin TV."

Dec 06, 2017