DATE YOUR WIFE

By WARRIOR EMPIRE

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Description

Co-hosts Garrett J White and Danielle K White share in this weekly podcast as a powerhouse husband and wife duo why date nights have become non-negotiable in their life. Garrett is the founder of Wake Up Warrior, a program for married businessmen to live the Warrior’s Way towards having a life of having it all, and Danielle is the founder of NBR hair extension techniques through DKW Styling Salon. They will share how they have created success in every aspect of their lives after being willing to rebuild and heal from disconnection, and it all starts with weekly date nights.

Episode Date
Sexy Screenshots | Date Your Wife | Ep 032
30:27

You’re in for a blushing hot time with the White’s in this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Danielle and Garrett hold nothing back as they explore the reality of faking, fantasy, and payloads, and share intimate secrets and tips in this completely transparent and entertaining conversation about Garrett’s favorite topic, sex.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 

In This Week’s Podcast…. SEX

Point #1: The Faking Game

  • Danielle: Every girl fakes it. If she says she never fakes it, she’s like the guy who says he never masturbates. We get to this point where we don’t care if we have an orgasm – we’re just putting on a good show.
  • Garrett: Here’s the deal: I have faked it. I don’t care if Danielle fakes it. I actually like it and enjoy it more when she does because I feel like we’ve both scored.
QUESTION

How often do you fake it?

 

Point #2: Go For the Goal

  • Garrett: Do you think porn has completely twisted the thought of orgasms? We know this woman who never had an orgasm during her 13-year marriage. And she didn’t even know she wasn’t having an orgasm.
  • Danielle: You have to be a little selfish in bed and go after what you want. If she didn’t have an orgasm, it’s her fault. Even with the dullest sexual encounters, if I want it, I’m going to get it. You gotta be focused; you gotta go for the goal. You treat it like a sport, ladies. You get on it and accomplish your goal.
QUESTION

Ladies, how do you communicate what you want to your guy?

Point #3: The Warm Up

  • Danielle: If there’s a warm-up, girls are focusing on “holy shit, I’m not going.” If there’s not a warm-up, we’re focusing on “I’m going to go after the goal and get it.” If we get warmed up, it’s going to happen. But sometimes when we’re tired, we won’t submit to the warm-up, and then we’re all about a quick one.
  • Guys like the warm-up because the girl just submits. But here’s the thing. You can’t go in aggressively for the warm-up because then it gets creepy; then we’re thinking this is just gross, let’s just have a quick one. So, guys, you really have to seduce us.
QUESTION

Guys, what type of warm-up does your spouse respond to the most?

Point #4: Payloads

  • Garrett: If a guy hasn’t gone for a while, say it’s been five days, and there’s been no masturbation, he has a bigger shot. The bigger the shot, the more intense the orgasm.
  • Danielle. I think I purposely don’t go sometimes because I want the build up. I think it’s more of a control thing for myself. I can have a bunch of shitty pairs of shoes, or I can have a couple of really good ones.
QUESTION

What is your preference?

 

Point #5: Screenshots Matter

  • Garrett: Women, you have to give your man a screenshot. Danielle sends me photos of her looking super sexy in her swimsuits. She doesn’t send me naked photos or breast shots, she sends me super intense and very sexy photos that I put on my cell phone.
  • If we’re at the beach and another woman walks by wearing a thong, I’ll get triggered, but my mind immediately goes to the preloaded content from my wife in her sexy swimsuits or of her in the bedroom ironing her clothes wearing nothing but panties.
QUESTION

Ladies, how has the idea of creating screenshot moments for your guy enhanced your confidence?


Communication Challenge:

Begin having conversations about the following topics and discover how these two strategies can enhance your realtionship:

1) The Faking Game
2) Delivering Sexy Screenshot Content


Date Night Topic:

Use one of your next Date Nights to create some Sexy Screenshot content for each other.


Quote of the Week:

“I’m okay with the idea that Mystery Man is the guy who gets you revved up because, at the end of the day, I’m the one who’s scoring goals around here. You can be a fan in the stands all day long, but I’m the one holding the trophy.”

Garrett J White

“Garrett has learned the art of holding back a little, and now I feel safe about giving him screenshots. I believe it creates content and spice in a marriage. If you don’t create content for your guy, he’s going to find content somewhere else.”

Danielle K White

 

Aug 14, 2018
Keeping it Spicy With Dark Garrett and Susan | Date Your Wife | Ep 031
26:27

Dark Garrett and Susan are introduced for the first time in this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, where married co-hosts, Garrett J and Danielle K White have a conversation around the topic of communication. They share how alcohol and therapy assisted in opening up the lines of communication between them, and how reserving Date Nights exclusively for each other continues to serve as a vital tool of connection in their marriage.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 

In This Week’s Podcast…. COMMUNICATION

Point #1: Sexual Communication

  • Garrett and Danielle express different personalities in their marriage at different times. While Dark Garrett and Susan cannot exist in the same space, the dynamics of these personalities brings spice to their relationship.
  • Danielle: Garrett’s a Gemini, so I feel like he’s always being genuine to the Gemini two-faced. Is it “Happy, fun Garrett?” Or is it, “I’ll rip your face off Garrett?” Garrett: Susan is a little more free-spirited and is also very aggressive. She throws champaign glasses in 5-star restaurants and smashes them on the ground. We end up on the beach where she loses her high heels and she’s making sand cookies. I love Susan. She’s rough, but I love her.
QUESTION

What are the different personalities that surface in your relationship?

Point #2: Alcohol and Communication

  • Garrett: Traditionally, people struggle with communication. At some point, there’s a line that can be crossed and also a line that must be crossed for individuals to get into a place of communication. Alcohol is one piece that some couples use.
  • In order for two people to be able to take their relationship further in their communication, both couples have to open up more. Alcohol has played into allowing Danielle and I to have deeper levels of communication.
QUESTION

What is your experience with alcohol use as a couple to enhance and deepen your communication?

Point #3: Alcohol and Sex

  • Danielle: Did you know that some couples have a hard time having sex without drinking? For me, good sex is when I’m totally sober. I know Garrett loves it when Susan shows up and does more of the porn star sex. But for me, with sober sex, I have better orgasms even though the sex may seem very plain Jane and traditional.
  • I’ve talked with many women who agree: If we’re super hammered, we can’t get off. If I come to a point where I’m super drunk, I will have fun playing the role of Susan for Garrett. I don’t really care if it’s beneficial for me that night because, at that point, it’s more fun just to have fun.
QUESTION

What role does alcohol play in your sexual intimacy?

Point #4: The Strategy of Therapy

  • Danielle: Garrett had suggested for the longest time that we do therapy. I said fuck you, I’m not broken, I’m not doing therapy. I was really stubborn about it. I was like, you work on yourself, I’m good. With divorce on my mind, and feeling like I hadn’t done everything I could, I surrendered and agreed to do therapy.
  • Therapy was really interesting for me. I was afraid that by sharing my problems, I would be exposed. I then realized that a lot of people have the same fucking problems in different variations. In going to a therapist, I felt like I finally had a sounding board where it was safe to share things.
QUESTION

What role has therapy played in strengthening your marriage?

Point #5: In the Beginning

  • Danielle: I felt like we had good communication when we were dating. That’s one of the things that I liked about Garrett. We would sit and talk for hours and hours, which was the first time I had experienced anything that. I felt so comfortable with him. We lost that when things got a little spicy in our marriage.
  • Garrett: The first business I launched after we got married, I was so focused on work that I remember Danielle, but at the same time, I hardly remember her. We spent the first ten years of our marriage just growing up. We were both re-growing as individuals and having to re-choose each other as a couple over and over and over again.
QUESTION

How has your communication changed and evolved from when you first began dating?


Communication Challenge:

What about therapy? What about alcohol? What about something else? Have an open conversation about the possibility of bringing these or other strategies into your marriage to enhance and deepen the levels of your communication.


Date Night Topic:

Take on different personalities during your next Date Night to add some spice to the mix.


Quote of the Week:

“If one of us is not in Dark Garrett or Susan, is there an attraction that exists between simply Garrett and Danielle? Or is it the dynamic of Susan and Dark Garrett that actually brings about the spice?”

Garrett J White

“As long as we have our Date Nights and our family days, I feel like we’re able to have bits of time where we’re able to stay connected.”

Danielle K White

Aug 07, 2018
Triple Sh*t Show | Date Your Wife | Ep 030
34:37

On the heels of their return from their first eight-day family vacation in Europe, Garrett and Danielle delve into the spectacular topic that tends to come from sex: Parenting. In today’s episode, the White’s take us behind the scenes and give us a peek into what it looks like to manage their household, they give us tips for finding the perfect-for-your-family babysitter or nanny, and share stories of the magical and not so magical moments in Europe.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 

In This Week’s Podcast…. PARENTING

Point #1: It Takes a Village

  • Garrett: Let’s talk about communicating instructions to people who take care of the kids. This is one of the big things about parenting. Most women have a big-time struggle with leaving their kids with anyone. In fact, we have tons of friends who will only go on a Date Night if a family member can watch their children. Danielle is at the top of the list when it comes to anxiety surrounding this issue.
  • Danielle: When we go on vacation, I still get nervous. Like every mom, I start thinking thoughts like, “Oh my God, what if the plane goes down!? ” Ultimately, you can’t live your life like that. You can’t not go anywhere or not do anything, or even not go on a date. I came to the place where I refused to let that hold me hostage. And I felt like I was being held hostage by my own anxiety and choice. Like anything, the more you do it and the more you surrender to it, the more it becomes less scary.
QUESTION

Ladies, how do you feel about babysitters watching your children?

Point #2: Finding That Magical Connection

  • Garrett: Outside of our family watching the kids, we would never go out because we didn’t have a babysitter. I was more concerned about having a babysitter so that we could connect. I knew if we didn’t connect and spend time together, which is Danielle’s love language, there was no chance for sex and connection to take place, which is what I wanted. So, I found a resource to help us find someone: care.com.
  • Danielle: After going through a few people that weren’t a good fit, I remembered that when I hire someone at my salon, instead of sending me their resume, I ask them to send me a video of why they think they’re a good fit for our salon. So that’s what I decided to do with care.com. Before we did that, we received over 100 emails in response to our ad. Once we asked for a video, we only received one response, which was from the girl we hired.
QUESTION

What are you looking for in someone who watches your children? What’s important to you?

Point #3: Topnotch Pay for a Topnotch Experience

  • Danielle:  You can’t expect to have someone delivering you a topnotch experience if you’re only willing to pay them an hourly rate. With Tori, our nanny, I told her we’re going to be paying her well, and what I really want her focus to be on is our kids. You think you’re hiring somebody to be a mom, but really you’re just hiring somebody to take care of your kids and to make sure they’re feeling loved.
  • Garrett: I’m willing to pay someone a salary just to guarantee we have two date nights every week. I talked Danielle off the ledge many times about going into the game of salary. This person needs a guarantee. They need to feel like they matter and that they count in the equation. I watch a lot of couples expect the world out of someone but give them no guarantees in return.
QUESTION

How do you feel about the idea of a salary vs hourly rate for your nanny or babysitter?

Point #4: Happy Wife, Happy Life

  • Danielle: Like most women, when I work I just want to come home to a clean house. So the days I work behind the chair are the days I have my cleaner come in. It alleviates a lot of stress for me. Some people might think it’s ridiculous to pay a housecleaner to come twice a week, but if you look at the overall picture, and if it makes you a happier person, it’s totally worth it.
  • Garrett: I needed for Danielle not to be stressful. She used to be stressed out all the time about the cleaning. It would affect our intimacy and our communication, and we’d fight over all sorts of shit. I got to the point where I thought this is not worth it. Having a cleaner come in twice a week? Totally worth it.
QUESTION

Gentlemen, how are your expectations creating more stress for your wife?

Point #5: Creating Memories

  • Danielle: I had an amazing experience with my kids. Time is a big thing for me. Vacations are important. There are little moments and experiences that you have on vacation that you can’t have at home. To me, it’s really important and it’s the one thing I fought for in our marriage. Vacations create a lot of quality time and memories with family where sometimes it feels like you’re in a dream or a fairytale.
  • And then there are moments when you’re traveling with kids and you say you’re never fucking bringing them anywhere, ever again! These stupid assholes don’t appreciate it! It’s a weird balance of oh my God, life’s amazing, we’re in a movie and, we’re never bringing the kids again on another vacation! Still, the good memories outweigh the bad.
QUESTION

What are your thoughts about taking family vacations?


Communication Challenge:

What are your love languages? If you haven’t read the book, grab a copy and begin reading it together. If you have read it, what are you doing to meet each other’s love language?


Date Night Topic:

Have a conversation about where the two of you are going for your next Sexcation.


Quote of the Week:

“We pulled off the herculean effort of all time. We not only went to Europe for the first time on vacation, we also did something a little out of the ordinary for us: we took our children.”

Garrett J White

“Ladies, sometimes you just have to put your foot down for what you want when it comes to making family memories for life. And just remind yourself when you’re on that vacation – and sometimes forcing fun with your kids – that you’re building memories.”

Danielle K White

Jul 31, 2018
Get Paid, Both Get Laid | Date Your Wife | Ep 029
24:21

In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle and Garrett get down to the nitty-gritty details of the behaviors, patterns, and stories both men and women exhibit and live in when it comes to the topic of money. The White’s speak boldly and honestly about their experiences as a married couple inside the Game of Money – where men are typically driven by sex, and women by security – and share what they did that led them out of the throes of divorce and into a thriving and expanding relationship.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 

In This Week’s Podcast…. MONEY

Point #1: Safety, Security, and Sex

  • Garrett: We’re discussing the fact that men typically use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. But there’s this cross-over game specifically on the topic of money where a woman wants a man to produce, and yet inside of that, one of the challenges that happens is that the woman continues to cut the balls off the man as a Producer.
  • Danielle: Money creates safety and security for a woman, even if you’re a powerful woman. I’m a very independent person and have always been one to want to take care of myself. Inside of that, I also want to be taken care of. So it’s like this double-edged sword. In the end, we want to be taken care of but we can’t expect to be taken care of we keep fighting for the throne. It’s a balancing game and surrender on both ends.
QUESTION

How does this ring true in your relationship?

Point #2: No Money, No Trust

  • Danielle: At one point, Garrett wasn’t producing, so I decided to put on the man hat and figure it out on my own. When everything got stripped from us, I wasn’t feeling connected to Garrett. I didn’t know if I really wanted to be married, especially since we didn’t have any money. It wasn’t like I was trying to cut Garrett’s balls off; from a female perspective, I was just trying to survive. “You were the provider, you stripped that, so fuck you, you’ve lost my trust.”
  • Garrett: We’re sitting in this situation where I’ve built something and then I’ve lost it. I’ve also lost the trust of my wife. As I’m climbing out of the Pit to create financial results again, what I didn’t expect to happen was to be tested by the queen over and over and over. I would speak to the possibility of what I was going to go do and then not do it. She didn’t respond with something like “Oh hon, you’re amazing.” There was no cheerleading, “Hey you got this.” Danielle was scorned and had no trust in me.
QUESTION

When trust has been lost in your marriage, how do you both regain it?

Point #3: Preparing for War

  • Garrett: I struggled with this. I interpreted everything she was saying and doing as “She doesn’t want me, she doesn’t care about me, she doesn’t support me.” Add to that, our sex life goes to hell in a hen basket. Not only do I have some blue balls going on, now I have bloody blue balls, and I’m having to protect my balls from being cut off every single day. I didn’t know how to deal with this.
  • What I didn’t know and understand was that she was actually preparing me to go back to war, to go back outside the wall of the destroyed kingdom to rebuild and repair our lives, to pay the bills, to build us out of scarcity and into abundance, and to create.
QUESTION

Gentlemen, describe how your wife has been preparing you to go back to war.

Point #4: Balls of Steel

  • Garrett: When I finally mastered the game of being able to go into collision with my wife, particularly in the conversation of money, there was a shift that took place. I got to this point where my balls became as steel. “Woman, go ahead and hack at those balls because all you’ll do is break your knife.” At that point, life started to shift and Danielle started to trust.
  • Danielle: I felt like Garrett was taking back the throne. Part of me was resistant, and a part of me was thinking “it’s about fucking time.” When I started to see that happen, I began backing down and decided I was going to stay in my own lane. There were two years where we just stayed in our own lanes; we weren’t at war anymore, and the trust was building on both sides.
QUESTION

What does collision look like in your marriage?

Point #5: Daggers and Triggers

  • Garrett: Gentlemen, stop interpreting your wife’s “criticism” as an attack. Stop the process of making your wife out to be the villain and the monster who is attacking you. You have to find a new decision and a new path that says, “Listen, my wife is not attacking me, my wife is triggering me to grow.
  • Danielle: A lot of times, I felt like I was throwing daggers at Garrett. I wasn’t trying to trigger him, I wanted him to the be the man I knew he could be. But I couldn’t say that, so it became a song and a dance for us to figure out how to communicate with each other
QUESTION

What does your song and dance look like?


Communication Challenge:

Have a candid conversation around the premise that men typically use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. How has this affected your individual behavior as well as your overall relationship?

 


Date Night Topic:

Gratitude: As you go on your date this week, share three things about your spouse or partner that you are grateful for.


Quote of the Week:

“This has nothing to do with your wife not being a producer. My wife is an ultra producer and out-produces most men I know. Inside of that place, we each have clear roles and responsibilities as a couple which allow us to both experience the growth and the possibility of being a couple. My responsibility is the King, and hers is not that role.”

Garrett J White

“When women ask me how we did this, it’s like they’re wanting a checklist. I tell them to “put a mirror in front of your face and take a good look.” It’s the hard shit that women don’t want to face, and it’s usually the stuff noton the checklist that’s tucked under the mattress, or under the rug; it’s consistently doing the “little things” in the relationship that make a big difference.”

Danielle K White

Jul 24, 2018
Doing Tricks and Having Fun | Date Your Wife | Ep 028
29:41

This week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast is coming to you from the beautiful beaches of Cancun, Mexico, where your co-hosts, Danielle K and Garrett J White are on a romantic weekend get-a-way. In this week’s conversation, the powerful duo opens up about the journey and evolution of their sexual rebirth.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 

In This Week's Podcast.... SEX

Point #1: The Cancun Connection

  • Garrett: Part of the game of being married is taking trips, but for a decade, we didn’t go on vacations very often. And when we did, it was a shitshow. I was upset, I'd be working, and we’d get in fights all the time about sex. The first time we came to Cancun, though, there was a sexual revolution that took place for us during that trip. Now, going on vacation is this exciting thing for me.
  • Danielle: We come back here for long weekend get-a-ways, where it's all about having fun, reconnecting, unplugging, and hanging out; it's like having Date Night every night. I think that’s why we like coming here because it was one of the first trips we took together after we finally committed to taking the time to create the space and the money to make it happen.

QUESTION: What is the place you go back to that reminds you of your reconnection?

Point #2: Doorway to Apathy

  • Danielle: We’ll talk with couples who are having a great vacation, yet they're not having sex and they don't care. I feel it’s an interesting space to be in. They can say, "I have respect for my wife, we don't have sex, it’s not a big deal," but where and how does that trickle down into the relationship?
  • Garrett: When this happens, one of the things a guy will do is to completely shut down sexually and become this sedated, constricted, pitiful man. He will completely cut off his sex drive and lock it away. What women don’t understand is that this lack of sexual energy affects everything about a man's life - inside of his family and his business. Men become sedated dogs who just survive...and they’re okay with it.

QUESTION: How long have you been in the "I don't care" phase?

Point #3: Rejection

  • Garrett: There are guys who are sexually frustrated as fuck, and they’re trying to find a way out. They go beat the shit out of each other at the gym and then come home to this gorgeous Barbie doll princess-wife on ice blocks. I was begging for hand jobs back then and I was sliding down this path that was very confusing and frustrating. I didn’t know how to get out of it; I didn’t know how to snap out of that game.
  • If you’re a dude who’s thinking: I'm not getting fucking laid, I've been married to this woman for five-ten years, we’ve had two babies, we’re not having sex, it’s awkward as shit, I don’t get blow jobs, we don’t connect, my wife doesn’t even want me to touch her...I get it. I was there with Danielle. If I tried to approach her at all, or even tried to touch her or kiss her in any way, shape or form, she would reject me. Even when I was trying to reconnect, she was still rejecting the shit out of me.

QUESTION: Gentlemen, how does Garrett's experience resonate with you?

Point #4: Feeling Invisible

  • Danielle: I felt like my needs weren't being met. What I was attracted to at a very young age was this guy who had a lot of drive; I knew he was going to be successful at whatever he did in life. When he got to this place where he was working, working, working - which was what I was initially attracted to - my needs weren't being met with TIME. Garrett was working his ass off, and then he would come home wanting to get laid.
  • Slowly, the courting, the dating, and the fun began to go away. I became resentful of his work, I didn’t want to go to his events, I didn’t give a shit if he was speaking, and I didn’t care anymore. We were in this place where I felt like he wanted more, but I had been in this space for three to four years where my needs weren't being met. "Screw you, you’ve tarnished my trust, why would I cross the line?" I was in a painful place where I began questioning why I was even in this relationship.

QUESTION: Ladies, how does Danielle's experience relate to yours?

Point #5: Sexual Rebirth

  • Garrett: There has to be this moment where you make a decision: I am willing to do whatever is required to get to this place of my desire. What did I want? I wanted a relationship with my wife where we could communicate, talk, have open conversations, we could battle, we could dialogue, we could have sex or not have sex, we could be playful and flirt, we could hang out and connect - and inside of that, there would be no weirdness. It took years, not months or weeks, but years of working this out to get to where we are today.
  • Danielle: I went through a couple of years where I was thinking I don’t know if I want to quit - probably because I was scared - but I don’t know if I want to continue to stay married. That’s when I decided to just focus on me and my business; I started to focus on growth as a person. In that space, I think that Garrett started to work on himself, too, and we were both getting our mojo back. We've gotten into this powerful space together because we’re choosing it; we're choosing to do the work together.

QUESTION: What one thing are you committed to doing inside of your relationship to experience a sexual rebirth?


Communication Challenge:

I invite you as a couple to have a conversation around the possibility of participating in a 30 day KingsKit Challenge for the men: warriorbook.com, and for the ladies, participating in Wake Up Warrior for women: wakeupwarriorwoman.com.

 


Date Night Topic:

1 - Share the places you would like to go as a couple for your weekend get-a-ways.

2 - Set a date and begin planning your next one.


Quote of the Week:

"As a man, the first step to launching a sexual revolution within my marriage was to be able to be in a place of launching intensity and connection within myself, and of dealing with my own bullshit, lies, and stories. And inside of that, setting myself up on a trajectory of ultimately being able to create the conditions that would set my marriage sexually free."

--Garrett J White

"Have fun!"

--Danielle K White

 

Jul 17, 2018
How to Play the "I Don't Give a F**k" Game | Date Your Wife | Ep 027
34:07

Married co-hosts, Danielle K and Garrett J White, discuss the art of Crucial Conversations in this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Their first encounter and first kiss are revealed as they take a trip down memory lane, and Garrett introduces the Triangle, which doubles as a favorite sex move of one of the Warriors as well as a communication strategy – a strategy which has proven to be a total game changer for Garrett and their marriage.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 

In This Week’s Podcast…. COMMUNICATION

Point #1: First Kiss

  • Garrett: Seventeen times we went out for ice cream until you decided you couldn’t handle it anymore. I played the “I don’t give a fuck” game, you came after me, our lips brushed, then you landed one on me. I had a pattern of burning relationships with girls very quickly, like within two weeks. But with you, I really wanted to kiss you, I really wanted to have sex with you, and I still want to have sex with you all the time.
  • Danielle: We were laying in your bed. After a two-hour shoulder massage, I knew I had to be classy and not just go in for the kill. You lined your face up with mine, your lips were nuzzling mine, and I remember thinking, “I don’t know what this is but I better go in.”
QUESTION

What is the memory of your first kiss with your spouse or partner?

Point #2: The Triangle

  • Garrett: The triangle is one of the natural things Danielle does when it comes to putting herself in another person’s shoes. When tensions are high, when there’s a lot on the line, and when shit is spicy, Danielle has the ability to diffuse the situation. She did this for a decade or longer before I was able to.
  • Danielle: When I find myself getting emotionally riled up, I don’t like being in that space, so I place myself in the other person’s shoes. I try to envision it from their perspective, which helps me calm down. I may not agree with them, but it helps me understand why they’re acting the way they are, and why I’m being triggered by them.
QUESTION

What happens in your conversations when you put yourself in another’s shoes?

Point #3: Crucial Conversations

  • Garrett: The first step in having crucial conversations is to get clear about what Iwant from the conversation. The next step is, what do I want for my wife in this situation? And then the third, what do I want for us as a couple in this situation?
  • As I answered these questions, it gave me clear distinctions and actions that would force me to not be right, and force me to let go of thingsFor ten years, I fought to be right, over getting what I wanted
QUESTION

Where in your world are you not clear about what you want? How is this affecting the actions you’re taking inside of your relationship?

 

Point #4: What Does My Partner Want?

  • Garrett: I used to think, “What the fuck is wrong with you, Danielle? Why aren’t we having sex?” I wasn’t holding a safe space for Danielle. The safe space is a place you hold for another person for safe dialogue, where you just let them talk. I couldn’t hold open that space at all, especially with Danielle, particularly when I was feeling triggered sexually. I would become this crazy person. I would get clear about what I wanted but I had no concern for what she wanted
  • Danielle: I think that guys have this belief that because they’re providing, their wives should naturally want to have sex. As women, yes, it’s great that you’re providing for us, but we want you to want to spend time with us. Guys want action and sex, women want guys to want to hang out with them without the pressure of having sex.
QUESTION

What are you doing to provide and hold space for your spouse?

Point #5: Groping vs Seducing

  • Garrett: I got to this place where I wanted Danielle to feel wanted, and part of that included seducing her, not just touching her all the time. It became more and more natural for me to help her get what she wanted, knowing that in helping her get what she wanted, would get me what I wanted as well.
  • Danielle: In that space, it was interesting. You’d want to come spend time with me, but the only way I can describe it is that you were groping me. You had your hand planted on my ass and were literally all over me. I would get triggered and annoyed, which would lead to you shutting down. I just needed a safe space where I could enjoy the time with you while getting warmed up.
QUESTION

How does this resonate with you?


Communication Challenge:

Your final challenge inside of this week’s show is this: Sit down and have a conversation and ask yourselves these three questions: What do I want for myself in this situation? What do I want for my partner or my spouse in this situation? What do I want for us as a couple?

Note: Keep in mind that it might be a little emotionally triggering for both of you. This is a good time to practice the art of holding space for each other.


Date Night Topic:

Take a trip down memory lane: How and where did you meet?


Quote of the Week:

“I think what you’re going to find once you get clear is that there’s a lot of shit you’re doing that will not get you what you want. It makes it easy to shift gears and to say I’m not going to do these things anymore, and instead I’m going to do these things because these are the things that will get me what I want.”

Garrett J White

“Garrett’s always a good surprise. If you’re bored or safe, that’s not necessarily a good place to be in a marriage. I feel if you’re in maintenance mode, you’re stagnant and digressing.”

Danielle K White

Jul 10, 2018
When Parenting Strategies Collide | Date Your Wife | Ep 026
29:14

It’s no secret that the Date Your Wife Podcast doubles as a weekly therapy session for married co-hosts, Danielle and Garret J White. This week during their candid conversation about the topic of parenting, fireworks are ignited as they each take a strong stance for their differing parenting tactics and strategies.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 

In This Week’s Podcast…. PARENTING

Point #1: Monster Mom, Monster Child

  • Garrett spent this past week in Costa Rica on a surfing vacation, and Danielle and the girls flew to Utah to be with her parents for a few days. That first night deep in the jungle of Costa Rica, Garrett received a frantic and emotional text call from Baily, their eleven-year-old daughter, who was screaming and freaking out about her smashed cell phone. That night, he realized that at the end of the day, he had absolutely no control over what was happening over 3500 miles away in a different country.
  • Danielle: At the same moment Garrett was having that realization, I was having the realization that there was nothing I could do, either. Bailey had flipped her lid and was totally irrational, to the point where anything I said escalated the situation on both sides. I started out calm, and then I got to the point where monster mom came out. I reminded her that she’s eleven and is not entitled to a phone, and eventually grabbed her phone and threw it. I suddenly realized that monster mom created monster child.
QUESTION

What is your parenting strategy when your kids are behaving irrationally?

Point #2: To Slap or Not to Slap

  • Garrett: Danielle texted me and asked me what she should have done. I said, slap her, but she said no. “Breaking cell phones is a very expensive habit because every cell phone you break, you inevitably end up getting a new cell phone, and we just end up spending more money. Slap her, it’s free, and a quick slap takes care of it all.”
  • Danielle: I remember being backhanded by my mom a few times. One time she did it so hard that I flew into the window and got a bloody nose. You want me to slap her, but the repercussions of being a pre-teen and having your mom or dad backhand you across the face cause far more scarring than throwing a cell phone.
QUESTION

What are your thoughts about slapping? Yes or no?

Point #3: Cell Phone Family Plan

  • Danielle: When Baily doesn’t have her cell phone with her 24/7, she’s more present. She has a tendency to get into her head. She worries about the wrong shit and gets sucked into the vortex. I think there’s a lot of good that comes from Social Media, but there have to be boundaries, and there have to be limitations so there isn’t this sense of entitlement. Tonight when we get home, we’re going to create a cell phone contract with her.
  • Garrett: I think the contract is a very good idea. I just think you need to be very clear about what you’re going to put on the contract. You better be ready to enforce it, and you better know what the enforcement of the plan is, otherwise it’s just going to be another one of those things that never happen.
QUESTION

Cell phones and kids – why or why not?

 

Point #4: Different Parents, Different Strategies

  • Garrett: As parents, we have radically different strategies for dealing with our children. I deal with life one way, Danielle deals with life another way. Part of what used to cause a lot of conflict was that we didn’t know how to submit to what the other person was passionate about. For example, Danielle said that Baily told her to her face that she’s a fucking bitch. I would slap her in the mouth.
  • But Danielle’s opposed to that and thinks it’s super trashy. In my opinion, if our daughter calls Danielle a fucking bitch, she deserves to be slapped in the face. The end. Danielle’s strategy is to ignore and wait until things blow up, then she deals with the chaos from that point on. I like to intercept shit and punch it before it becomes a major issue. This has created a lot of chaos for us as we raise our children because we have totally different strategies.
QUESTION

What are your parenting strategies?

 

Point #5: Kings, Support Your Queens

  • Garrett: Gentlemen, yes it’s your job to lead in the house, but at the same time, your wife spends more time with your children. At the end of the day, although I may have opinions about how things should go on at home, she spends the most time with them and they’ve figured out their game. One of the worst things you can do is to fuck up their flow, even when it looks like complete insanity from the outside. Just support it.
  • There’s a shitload of disrespect in our country with kids in this age group who just don’t give a shit. They talk shit to their parents, to adults, and to teachers. I don’t necessarily have the answers, but here’s what I do know: inside of it at some point – as a man – it’s more important to back your wife in what’s going on than it is for you to be right.
QUESTION

How is this conversation resonating with you and your spouse?


Communication Challenge:

Discuss your parenting strategies in the area of discipline. How can you two come together to create a unified front?


Date Night Topic:

To slap or not to slap: Why or why not? How has your upbringing shaped your opinion about it?


Quote of the Week:

“Have the courage to have conversations even when you disagree.”

Garrett J White

“Make sure that whatever the plan is that you back your significant other.”

Danielle K White

Jul 03, 2018
Money is Spiritual | Date Your Wife | Ep 025
26:29

From the perspective of powerful producers, parents, and business owners, Danielle and Garrett’s insightful conversation sheds light on the important role money plays in marriage relationships.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY

Point #1: Details Matter

  • Danielle: In a lot of relationships, men do the jobs and women take care of the details. I’m not factually oriented at all, and if you give me too much information, I shut down and I can’t do it. One of the biggest things that helped our marriage was when Garrett decided to take over the bills. I found Garrett more attractive once he did that.
  • Garrett: Part of this means taking on the bullshit – the stuff that is required when it comes to money. My wife didn’t want to deal with paying the bills and my story was I just wanted to be able to focus on production so didn’t want to take care of them.
QUESTION: How do you and your spouse handle the details in your marriage?

Point #2: Attraction Factor

  • Garrett: As a man, if you’re not getting it done financially inside of your relationship, you cannot demand attraction. Why? A woman wants to feel safe and secure, and she wants to be taken care of. Even if she’s a Producer at the core, this is what she desires.
  • Danielle: A lot of times in relationships, guys expect their wives to be the woman, yet they demand their wives to do the jobs that are typically dude jobs. If I expect Garrett to show up and be the man, I have to submit in certain areas; if he expects me to be the woman, then he has to take away those manly responsibilities and treat me like the woman.
QUESTION: Gentlemen, what comes up for you when you hear that most women want to be taken care of?

Point #3: Money Roles in Marriage

  • Garrett: The truth is, I would yell at my wife about not getting on the phone with the insurance company. I began asking myself, “Do I want my wife getting on the phone and having her end up getting exhausted, fatigued and stressed out by dealing with the insurance company, and burning up all of her sexual energy in creative frustration in the process?” The answer was no.
  • For the first ten years of our relationship, I expected my wife to be the man when it came to managing the money. What I saw in my house growing up was my mother managing the money while my dad was making the money. He would give it to my mom and she would make it all work. That was all I knew. So when I got married, guess what I expected?
QUESTION: What expectations do you have in your marriage based on your upbringing?

Point #4: Hats and Roles

  • Danielle: I have different hats, different roles, and different boxes. When we’re on Date Night, work can’t carry over into the Date Night box. In past years when we weren’t in a good place, we would talk about work and it would always snowball into something crazy.
  • As a wife, mom and business owner, I’ve had to learn to compartmentalize when it comes to a wearing a mom hat and a business hat. I think the best way to go about doing things in a relationship is to own every side of you but know how and when to put on each hat as needed.
QUESTION: Ladies, how are you doing with the different hats you wear?

 

Point #5: Energy and Connection

  • Garrett: Any time that a man and a woman connect inside of marriage, it’s spiritual. It’s an unseen attraction that exists. It’s not something physical or tangible that we can touch, it’s something inside of us that we feel.
  • Energy inside of a relationship when you’re married is connection. And anytime there’s connection, there’s spirituality. Money creates the opportunity for you to experience deeper levels of connection – in the making of it, the maintaining of it, and the creating of a life with it. Money matters.

QUESTION: How do you and your wife create deep connection in your relationship?


Communication Challenge:

Have a conversation about the role money played in your upbringing and how you want it to play out in your life going forward.


Date Night Topic:

What does “Being the Man” and “Being the Woman” look like in your relationship?


Quote of the Week:

“We want you to submit and be a woman but at the same time, we kind of like it when you punch us in the face. It’s a dual turn on. I want to be mentally challenged by you to the point that I’m fucking pissed, but at the same time, I want you to submit as a woman.”

Garrett J White

“Everyone who says money doesn’t matter is full of shit. In our experience, not having money or even losing it, definitely put a stress on the relationship. I believe money is a very important tool.”

Danielle K White

Jun 26, 2018
The Power of the V | Date Your Wife | Ep 024
30:21

The White's take it over the cliff in this week's episode as they dive deep and get personal in their candid conversation around the always spicy topic of sex. Be prepared to receive massive value as they revisit the ever-popular QQP, explore rejection and how it shapes patterns and behaviors in the bedroom, how Garrett's before marriage "sex talk" reveals common challenges in Orthodox-based religions when it comes to beliefs and conversations about sex, and how their relationship has undergone a massive facelift in the past two years.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week's Podcast....SEX

Point #1: The Shift

  • Garrett: It’s been a long time since we’ve fought about the sex topic. I don’t know what's been going on the past two months, but you’ve been on it. It’s been fun as fuck. I don’t know what's happened inside of you, but I need that shift to continue. You’ve been playing out QQP like a champion. It’s like your daily Core4.
  • Danielle: I gave myself permission to have fun. As women, we sometimes take on the story that we're not going to be used, that it's beneath us. The Shift is when you realize you can get your heart's desires and dreams by understanding that men are actually pretty simple. Everybody's happier when we own that the V is very powerful.

QUESTION: Where in your world would making a shift be a game changer?

Point #2: Rejection

  • Garrett: When you’ve been married for a number of years, there are patterns that tend to get created that are fucked up. I felt rejected for ten years, which led me to feel very weak in the bedroom. I didn’t feel wanted, and I lacked confidence and certainty. This led me to interesting patterns of masturbation, porn, and drinking. I was trying to figure out how to survive.
  • No matter how rejected you’ve felt, you have the power to change that story. I was not able to change that story on my own. My wife and I going to marriage and sex therapy allowed us to pull that off. Another very powerful tool we use, known as the Stack, can be found at warriorbook.com inside one of our 30 Day Challenges known as the KingsKit.

QUESTION: What patterns and behaviors have you fallen into because of feelings of rejection?

Point #3: Wifey Guilt

  • Danielle: Sex is the only topic in the wifey guilt. "Oh no. It’s been a few days. I didn’t do my wifey duties." Women naturally know when things are not aligned, and where we're not putting the time and effort into certain areas of our life. When the kids are screaming - but I know we gotta do this - these are the quickest nights. I enjoy these because the next day it brings more peace into our relationship.
  • There was a time I felt, why should I be guilty? I’m not being fulfilled. For so many years you played the victim - poor me, you owe me this. Because we’re married, I have to put out every night? Fuck you, I don’t owe you anything. Then I got to this point: have a quickie, connect, it’s not that big of a deal, and then we carry on in this happy place in our marriage. For me, that's fulfilling.

QUESTION: Ladies, how can you relate to this?

 

Point #4: Birthday Surprise

  • Garrett: These last couple of years, it's been this really powerful game where I've recognized that what I actually wanted from my wife was not the penis and vagina experience - don’t get me wrong, that's what I want. But what I've wanted is to feel wanted. What was amazing about my birthday is that I felt wanted.
  • Danielle: Garrett was in the middle of an event in Huntington Beach during his birthday. He was on stage and nobody really knew it was his birthday until his lead trainer, Sam, announced it. As 350 guys sang Happy Birthday, I walked onto the stage and surprised him. For Garrett, it was this moment of, "Oh my God. She wants to be here."

QUESTION: What would be possible for your relationship if each of you actually felt wanted by your spouse?

Point #5: It's Kind of Messy

  • Garrett: For the guys who get exactly what I’m talking about, if you were raised in a pretty orthodox religion and you were not married to a woman who was practiced before marriage, nor were you practiced before marriage - on the one side, there’s a huge advantage to having sex before you get married. I know that’s going to completely burn the ears of those who may be listening, "Oh my God! I’m completely against that!"
  • Danielle: Yes, there's good that comes out of us being raised this way. But where's the line? Is it a blessing or a curse? Garrett: People don’t measure the consequence of not being sexually aware at all. They’re not being trained. When we were raised, we were not trained or taught. I didn’t even know what a clitoris was. My dad’s sex talk to me before I got married was, "Be sure you have a cloth handy. It’s kind of messy.”

QUESTION: What do you think: Wait until marriage, or have some experience before getting married?


Communication Challenge:

Have a conversation about how you were raised, and how that has shaped your beliefs, patterns, and behaviors about sex.


Date Night Topic:

How can you both bring new vitality into your relationship?


Quote of the Week:

"I would love to invite you as a man to join us in the KingsKit challenge that you can find at warriorbook.com and be part of that experience. And if you’re a lady listening to this show, I would encourage you to send your man over to that."

--Garrett J White

"Ladies, if you’re in that place where your guy’s not really being the man, you have to reevaluate and ask yourself, “How can I show up and be the woman?" Sometimes, the strongest women need to surrender to what’s going to benefit you, your family, and your relationship. A lot of times you discover, "Wow, that served me more than I thought!" Commitment is the first step.

--Danielle K White

Jun 19, 2018
Stay in Your Lane | Date Your Wife | Ep 023
29:36

Communication is the topic in this week's Date Your Wife episode where Danielle and Garrett discuss growth, conflict & collision, and how we all take on different characters and play different roles in our relationships.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week's Podcast....COMMUNICATION

Point #1: Activate the Gremlin

  • Danielle is the owner of DKW Styling Salon and has created a hair extension system called Natural Beaded Rows. She and her team are basking in the afterglow of their most recent three-day convention, where they hosted 350 students eager to learn Danielle's system.
  • Garrett: A comment came in from an associate of ours who was at the convention: "You know, Danielle is like a gremlin - cuddly, nice, sweet, and fun. And then you pour a little water on it and out comes the beast. I watched Danielle speak and train like I have never before seen her. Her gremlin was activated!"

QUESTION: What causes the Gremlin in you to activate?

 

Point #2: Characters and Roles

  • Garrett: I've realized that we as human beings have lots of characters and we play different roles. If you look at this from an acting perspective, you take on different roles and play different characters. Inside of a marriage relationship, there are a lot of roles that we are required to create and master.
  • Danielle: In business, a true professional knows when to use each character in the different roles they are required to take on. As a woman, I have to know when to wear the work hat, when to wear the mom hat, and when to wear the wife and lover hat.

QUESTION: What are the different characters and roles you take on in your marriage?

 

Point #3: Growing at Different Speeds

  • Danielle: When we lost everything and Garrett was trying to discover himself, I was always telling him to just figure it out. He would want to share and connect with me, and when I didn't want to, he felt I wasn't growing. I decided I wasn’t going to worry about what Garrett was doing, but rather work on me and stay in my own lane.
  • Garrett: We grow at different speeds and at different times. This changes our roles and makes communication difficult. The challenge becomes staying in your own lane. When you’re trying to communicate and you’re both in two totally diffident places, it can be very difficult.

QUESTION: How do you handle growing at different speeds in your marriage?

 

Point #4: Choice vs Force

  • Garrett: I got to the point where my power and my path were going to be about choosing me, choosing the path that I wanted, and inviting Danielle to come along with me. I told her this is where I'm going, I would like you to come with me, but if you don't want to come that’s okay - I’m still going to go. The more I took that stand, the better our relationship became inside of our communication.
  • Danielle: It's because it became about me getting to choose and not feeling like you were forcing me or dragging me. For me, that actually feels better.  If you go to an event that’s all about self-help or self-awareness, you don’t want to come home to your spouse and say "by the way, you’re broken and you should probably come with me and get fixed." That's kind of like how it comes across.

QUESTION: Are you more likely to force or to encourage choice in your relationships?

 

Point #5: The Control Factor

  • Garrett: I'll have you consider that the worst thing that could ever exist inside of a relationship is one where there is no collision in communication. Collision must happen, and inside of that, control must be submitted at times.
  • Danielle: In order to ultimately get what you want, you have to choose your battles. Sometimes when we’re fighting we realize we’re both on the same team, we let it go, calm it down, and then revisit that conversation.

QUESTION: How do you handle collision in your relationship?


Communication Challenge:

How do you handle and resolve conflict in your marriage?


Date Night Topic:

What are you committed to as a couple in the area of growth?


Quote of the Week:

"When you’re growing, and your partner may not be growing at the same speed, you have to stay committed to what you want, move forward, and invite them into the picture."

--Garrett J White

"Learn how to communicate with your partner in that safe zone."

--Danielle K White

Jun 12, 2018
Collide or Retreat? | Date Your Wife | Ep 022
50:54

In this week's Date Your Wife Podcast, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about their conflicting parenting strategies - as well as possible solutions - as they reveal real-life challenges.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week's Podcast....PARENTING

Point #1: Permission to Pursue Your Passion

  • Danielle: I was raised as a Mormon where I felt like I had to be this perfect mom. If I work, I better figure out how to balance it all. As a result, there has been a lot of mommy guilt as I've tried to create a balance between all of the hats I'm wearing. One day the Voice said to me, "You will impact way more people if you pursue this passion [hair]." I've discovered that by pursuing my passion, I ultimately affect my children.
  • Garrett: There tends to be a war within women - women who produce and work outside the home, and women who work only inside the home. Both of these sides tend to throw stones at each other. At the end of the day, it’s not about whether you produce outside or inside of the home. At some level as a woman, you have to give yourself permission to pursue a passion or purpose beyond your children.

QUESTION: As a couple, how do you feel about your wife pursuing her passions in addition to raising a family?

Point #2: If-Then Scenario

  • When asked by Garrett if she believes that producing outside the home makes her a better mom, Danielle replied: I don’t know. I know I'm a better me, but sometimes I feel like a shitty mom. There are moments as a kid that mold us. As much as I feel like I’m fucking up, hopefully, I have enough of those moments of me leading and guiding other women or of just being me where they’re going to say “I want to be like my mom.”
  • Garrett: She would only be giving a quarter of who she is to her children if she wasn’t working. They would never see a woman taking a stand for her life. I know she’s a better mother because she’s a better producer. But this doesn't mean that every single woman listening to this must launch a business to be a better mom. At the end of the day, the key phrase is, as you are becoming better as a woman, then the relationship you have as a parent ultimately expands by default.

QUESTION: Do you believe you're a better mom because you do or  because you do not work outside of the home?

Point #3: Conflicting Parenting Strategies

  • Garrett: You and I are very different people. As a result, we have very different parenting strategies. When there’s a problem with our kids, I collide and conflict with them, while you pretend it’s not there. Your parenting strategy is to literally ignore and hold out and wait for the storm to pass. Your game is: The tsunami is coming, get to high ground.
  • Danielle: When you get mad and yell at our girls, my thought is, "Garrett, they’re girls. Don’t yell at them like that!" When the girls are crazy emotional, I ignore them. When I’m pissed, my thoughts are: Just get out of my way, just let me be pissed. As girls, we tend to have more of an emotional side. So when I see that the girls have flipped their lid - and I can’t get reel them back in no matter what I say - I know I need to give them space.

QUESTION: What are your parenting stratetgies?

 

Point #4: Assasin Attack vs Retreat to Higher Ground

  • Garrett: I have a different strategy: I don’t ignore it. When the tsunami comes, I run down like Spartan 300 to hell’s gate against a million people and I wage war on the ensuing enemy. I can see the same crazy spot where the storm cannot be negotiated with, but the difference is, I come in like an assassin in the night and grab the situation by the horns.
  • Danielle is uncomfortable with conflict, while Garrett is uncomfortable with sitting and allowing the storm to brew. "Danielle’s picture of parenting is us running to high ground. I see that and I pee on it. My parenting plan is my wife’s got war paint on her face, she's wielding a sword and a shield, and I’m yelling, “Woman, we're going to the front line!” I start running and when I look back, she’s squatting and peeing on my parenting plan."

QUESTION: How are you relating to Danielle's and Garrett's differences in parenting strategies?

Point #5: Walk and Talk

  • Garrett: If the challenge is my daughter is a lot like me, here’s the reality: If I had to get out of bed and then 15 minutes later had to be at school or work or anywhere, I’d be fucking crazy too. Last night, I asked my daughter to go for a walk. We held hands, we talked about how dad is crazy in the morning, and how I noticed she's also experiencing a lot of crazy in the morning.
  • We've implemented The Walk and Talk with our daughter, and I've also brought it to the Warrior brotherhood: You go for a 30-minute walk with your child, you hold hands, and just let them talk. The whole focus is to let them get their feelings out, to validate those feelings, and to throw yourself under the bus, thus giving your child the chance to be ok with being human.

QUESTION: Do you have a child where investing in a daily Walk and Talk would make a world of difference for them?


Communication Challenge:

What are your parenting strategies? If they are causing collision and confusion in your relationship and in your family, how you can unite them?


Date Night Topic:

Have a conversation centered around your wife pursuing her passions beyond that of a being a wife and a mother.


Quote of the Week:

"For the guys out there, if I am a leader in my home, then this means I must also take the lead as a man on the parenting side, which means I’ve also got to take a stand for their greatness and in their weakness."

--Garrett J White

"I’m kind of an introvert, yet I believe if you find something you’re passionate about, you can outgrow the person you think you are. For me, getting outside of my comfort zone is a new high that fuels me."

--Danielle K White

Jun 05, 2018
Warrior Women | Date Your Wife | Ep 021
35:13

You’re in for a real treat in this week’s episode of Date Your Wife where the conversation is all about the highly anticipated Warrior Week for Women coming in August 2018. This is the first time in seven years that they’re bringing forth the message of the Warrior’s Way directly to women and for women, with Danielle as one of the lead trainers.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION

Point #1: Accessing Power

  • In 2012, I launched Wake Up Warrior to men. It was based on an idea that power itself could be ultimately generated and created inside of a man like me. Over the last 6 1/2 years, it has risen from a concept to a movement that is now blanketing the world in twenty-seven countries, with tens of thousands of men partaking inside of a belief system found inside the book, WarriorBook.
  • This is the first time I will be speaking directly to women on the topic of living the Warrior’s Way and accessing the power that we, as men, have been accessing for six years. Over the years, emails from women have been pouring in from around the globe requesting and searching for the same power that they have seen being taught to men, wanting it for themselves.
QUESTION: How and when did you first hear about Wake Up Warrior?

Point #2: Uncover Your Divine Nature and Power

  • This isn’t going to be about carrying logs or physical beatdowns; you’re not going to be outside on the trails, and you’re not going to fight each other. It’s not some ethereal meditation retreat, nor is it about being led down a path of possibility and vision boards.
  • This is a path of true, practical, pragmatic power, and it will be customized with my wife by my side, as well as the women who have stood at the core of this movement with their husbands, to lead and guide you down the path of uncovering the divine nature and power of who you truly are.
QUESTION: What about this speaks to your soul?

Point #3: Proven Science and Doctrine

  • This is an invitation for you to step into the first inaugural no-guarantees-that-we-will-ever-do-it-again Warrior Week for Women. We do this because it has been requested from the women who want to be able to understand the power their husband is learning, experiencing, and expressing, and for single women who are simply wanting to find the power inside of themselves to stand.
  • Coming to this experience is not about him, it’s about you. The science we have developed may not have been directed at women in the beginning, but has indirectly blessed the lives of countless thousands. We’ve been testing this doctrine and science in a small way for 1 1/2 years inside my hair salons to see if it would impact the lives of these women the way it had the men – and the answer was, yes!
QUESTION: Ladies, where in your life would you like to experience more power and certainty?

Point #4: Noxious Weeds and Chaos

  • It’s time to peel it back, it’s time to take a stand for you and with you. It’s time for Wake Up Warrior to put a flag in the ground inside of the marketplace and to take for the very first time, the curriculum, science, art, and the process of the awakening of and becoming a woman – from the science we’ve proven and tested in far harder ground, with more rocks and more noxious weeds and more chaos with the men, so that it would be ready for you.
  • I invite you to step inside the journey of power with me and to experience what is really about starting a movement preparing for 2019 as Wake Up Warrior begins to take this science and belief system, not directly just to men, but directly to women, just like you.
QUESTION: What would be possible for you if you accept this invitation?

Point #5: Is It Your Time?

  • You have an opportunity to be part of the group of the first women, the women who get to experience this raw and on fire with myself, the trainers and support coaches, who are going to be part of this integrated experience that we have never done before. I don’t need you to do this, but your family and your life will want you to.
  • If you know it’s your time – time to take a step in a direction that is ultimately possibly the first time about serving you, and about giving you purpose, power, and possibility – click warriorwomennow.com, and I’ll see you in Laguna in August 2018 with my elite team of trainers at the first inaugural experience of Warrior Week for Women.
QUESTION: Are you ready to step into the first inaugural experience of Warrior Week for Women?

Communication Challenge:

Gentlemen, at the conclusion of the podcast, have a converation with your Queen about Warrior Week for Women and how you can support her in this journey.


Date Night Topic:

What would be possible for your family to begin living the Warrior’s Way together?


Quote of the Week:

“At Warrior Wealth for women, we’re going to train you not just on the concepts of power, but on the art and science of production. You deserve and must demand inside of yourself the capacity to be a high-level producer.”

Garrett J White

“We’re excited to see how this is going to affect the balance in your life between being a mom, a business owner, a wife, and being in a relationship; of creating more in your life, creating that space you desire, and more importantly, creating purpose beyond kids and work.”

Danielle K White

May 29, 2018
Hold Your Shield, Get Your Balls Back, and Have More Sex | Date Your Wife | Ep 020
47:13

Welcome to the Date Your Wife Podcast where professionals Garrett J and Daniel K White, who happen to make babies together, take on the topic of Money in this week’s episode. One of the more interesting gems discovered in today's conversation is Garrett's confession to having pierced his nipples while attending college, arguably one of the worst decisions he has ever made. 

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week's Podcast....MONEY

Point #1: Sword and Shield

  • Garrett: Danielle doesn't collide well with people, and since I do, one of the things we rely on inside of our marriage when it comes to money is that I’m the guy out in front with the shield and sword. I'm the guy that goes to war. I’m the guy that collides with everyone inside of the topic of money.
  • I remember the days when I would put Danielle out front to be the shield and would yell at her that it was her job to pay the bills because I was too busy. I would ask her why I felt like I was married to a man and she said it's because I had put her in man shoes. This, of course,  had a huge impact on our sex life.

QUESTION: In your marriage, who is out in front going to war?

Point #2: Illusion

  • Garrett: Danielle looks like she’s a very orderly person when she’s with me because I’m a hurricane. She's very clean but isn't good at cleaning. Open any drawer in our house and Danielle admits it's a scary shit show.
  • Danielle: We compliment each other very well when it comes to our strengths and weaknesses. When it comes to numbers, I tend to shut down a little bit and get overwhelmed, and only want to be told numbers on a need to know basis

QUESTION: How do the two of you compliment one another?

Point #3: Let Go and Let Him Lead

  • Danielle: I don’t know what's going on with the bills, and I trust that Garrett has that taken care of. In the past, I wanted control over what I was making only because when shit was going south in our marriage, that was my safety net and escape plan.
  • Garrett: Being able to give your man a position to lead is vital.  A common complaint from powerful women is that their man is not leading. My response? Quit cutting off his balls. If you want him to act like a king with the vaults and the money, then you’re going to have to actually show up in a way that gives him space to do that.

QUESTION: Ladies, are you cutting off your husband's balls?

Point #4: Growth Yields Abundance

  • Garrett: While I was using you as a shield, you were part of the key game of triggering me to want more. I think I would have settled for way less than what we currently have, but you exposed me to a place of possibility of a life being married to you other than how I was raised.
  • Danielle: At the end of the day, significance only gets people so far. By pushing Garrett to grow, we have become better people. We've tapped into a different network of people and we've been able to impact more people’s lives directly by putting a dollar figure behind it.

QUESTION: Where in your relationship have the two of you settled?

 

Point #5: Push and Lead

  • Garrett: You drove me to care more about money in the sense of getting economically compensated for what I do, and to keep pushing that. I then I took it upon myself to create profitable businesses and a lifestyle that was financially prosperous, and a legacy that would matter economically. That's the gift I got from Danielle.
  • Danielle: Lead by example rather than dragging your spouse with you. If they don’t see that shift and if they don’t want to be the better version of themselves, then you might cross paths. At one point, our circumstances caused me to push myself out there with an attitude of wanting to produce more, and in the process became a better artist and person.

QUESTION: How do you push your spouse to become a better version of themselves?


Communication Challenge:

Have a discussion about the man being out in front leading, guiding, and protecting his family. What would it take for you two to pull this off? What changes would have to take place? 


Date Night Topic:

On your next Date Night, share with each other the ways you compliment one another.


Quote of the Week:

"When I took the shield back and started paying the bills, I started producing and began to double down, focusing on myself and making sure I was on point as a producer. When I did this, this magical thing came back. Danielle became more attracted to me and we began having more sex."

--Garrett J White

"We see it all the time where couples come inside both of our businesses trying to get each of their spouses on board. It seems there’s always going to be one more driven than the other. I’ve always thought of Garrett as being the one more driven, but once I gave myself permission, I discovered that I'm actually very driven and super passionate."

--Danielle K White

May 22, 2018
Finding Your Inner Stripper | Date Your Wife | Ep 019
45:03

Welcome to this week’s steamy episode of the Date Your Wife podcast sponsored by DKW Styling and featuring dual producers inside the game of business, money, and life - Danielle K and Garrett J White - who are keeping it real and raw no matter what level of success they achieve. Although today’s topic is one of the tougher topics for many couples to get real about, the White's break down all barriers and bare all in this week's enlightening, revealing and transparent conversation about sex.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week's Podcast....SEX

Point #1: Ass Cheeks 'n Thongs

  • Danielle: We were at Cabo, lots of sex, no kids, drinking gin, and this medium-looking girl walks by with her guy, she's wearing a thong and has a tiny bum - even I noticed. It's when your head followed and you kept following. Usually, you’re super respectful. But you kept prolonging that ass.
  • Garrett: You caught me on that one. You do have control over how long you entertain, but you have zero control over the fact that if nine sets of ass cheeks are walking by you, and you’re sitting there with your wife whose ass cheeks you love, as a guy in that environment it is a work of art to try to NOT do two things: #1- look, #2- try to not be weird about it when you’re with your wife.

QUESTION: How do you feel about prolongued looks at the opposite sex by your partner?

 

Point #2: Sexual Triggers

  • Danielle: Being turned on by a guy is all about how he carries himself; it's all about his energy and not about the idea of having sex with him. You might get butterflies and think, 'oh he’s cute,' but usually you never entertain it until later when it comes up and you wonder why you're so horny.
  • Garrett: As guys, we have a very different challenge because we are constantly being stimulated. You can be at church and a woman walks by wearing a shirt where her nipples are protruding and you can be a super committed loyal man to your wife, and nonetheless, you are sexually triggered.

QUESTION: What triggers you sexually?

 

Point #3: Finding Your Inner Stripper

  • For years, Garrett wanted Danielle to send him sexy photos of herself, but for a long time, she wasn't about that. She eventually had a boudoir photo shoot that was not only for Garrett, but it also helped her find her inner stripper and channel more of her sexual being.
  • "When I'm learning and growing in life, I’ll do things to get out of my comfort zone because it pisses me off that I’m operating in a certain way. Doing the pictures made me nervous but I decided to just do it. It gives you permission to roleplay and it spices things up a little bit."

QUESTION: What is something you can do this week to step out of your comfort zone in your relationship?

 

Point #4: Reflection in the Mirror

  • Garrett: It’s very difficult for a guy to have his thoughts in check if he's not getting laid. As a guy, you are naturally sexually charged and if you and your wife are not having sex for whatever reason - if physical intimacy is not happening - his sexual energy goes even higher, which is what leads a man to go porn and masturbation, which ultimately leads to a bigger problem.
  • Ladies, if you shame and guilt your husband because he’s looking at porn, I’d invite you to look in the mirror at how you’re showing up. The majority of men are looking at porn because they are not getting their sexual and emotional needs met at home - the relationship sex game is horseshit and not working out.

QUESTION: Ladies, how are you showing up sexually for your husband?

 

Point #5: Road to Nowhere

  • With consistent porn consumption and masturbation, you will stop putting your sexual energy towards your wife. You deplete all of your sexual energy into the computer and into your cell phone, and through masturbation, you literally push your energy away into the nothing. There’s no exchange of energy.
  • Garrett: "Looking at porn and masturbating is a hollow experience. When I would go through these times of looking at porn and masturbating because Danielle and I were not on the same page, I would feel bad, alone and isolated. Turning to porn made it worse because I would start feeling even more resentment towards Danielle."

QUESTION: Gentlemen, where are you in the porn/masturbation cycle? How are your actions affecting your wife and your relationship?


Communication Challenge:

Ladies, how can you use sex as a tool and as a connecting piece to restore order in the relationship?


Date Night Topic:

Do a little role playing on your next Date Night to channel your inner stripper and add a little spice to the mix.


Quote of the Week:

"Guys, at the end of the day, keep all of that sexual energy in because it forces you to get committed to getting laid. This is what I have noticed for myself. If I keep all the sexual energy inside of me by not masturbating or looking at porn, then it forces me to focus all that energy on Danielle."

--Garrett J White

"Take the time to connect. Even if you're working a lot and don’t see each other often, your relationship can only be as good as you’re willing to work on it. If you're willing to cross the line for each other and not let it get too far disconnected, you can always stay in a good space. It’s when you let it go too far that it takes that much longer to repair it and get back up. It’s always a work in progress."

--Danielle K White

May 15, 2018
Cross the Line | Date Your Wife | Ep 018
26:48

Being married is hard. In fact, it can be a complete fuckin shit show and amazing all at the same time. While most marriages end up in complete sedation, disconnection and/or divorce, Garrett and Danielle have a commitment to create something a little bit better than that, a little more fun. Join them in this week's podcast that doubles as their very own therapy session as they engage in a conversation about the all important topic of communication.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week's Podcast....COMMUNICATON

Point #1: Less Roommate, More Spark

  • You can be comfortable with somebody and respect them, and maybe you don’t fight and things are generally good, but there’s no spark. Your idea of a night out is coming home from a long day at work, throwing on your sweats and watching Netflix together...and then you wonder what happened to that spark you used to feel.
  • Date Night is one of the ways the sparks continue to fly between Danielle and Garrett. Danielle loves getting all dressed up for Date Night and treats it like an actual date, like she did during their pre-marriage days. She inspired Garrett to level up his game from his go-to flannel shirt to his now custom tailored design jackets.

QUESTION: When was the last time the two of you dressed up and stepped out on the town together? How did it make you feel?

Point #2: Sugar 'n Spice

  • Garrett: Inside the communication game, people sometimes think that it’s the spice they’re trying to get rid of. When I define spice, I'm talking about arguments, disagreements, giggling, laughing, joking, having fun, getting angry at each other, fighting, battling, debating, having crucial conversations - it's everything.
  • Danielle: There’s a lot of spice in our marriage and we collide a lot with our personalities - both in good ways and in ways where we piss each other off. Spice for me is "I fucking hate you" which turns into "I fucking love you."

QUESTION: How do you keep your marriage fresh and spicy?

Point #3: Love Notes

  • Making daily deposits into your family’s life is part of living the Warrior’s way, part of something called the Core 4. Men typically don’t know how to communicate their feelings and don’t send love messages to their wives, which Garrett believes many women would love receiving from their husbands.
  • While Danielle acknowledges the daily texts from Garrett, her love language is found more in spending quality time together with him, like doing these podcasts or going on Date Nights. She sends texts of encouragement when she senses he's having a stressful day, which messages Garrett loves receiving as part of his love language.

QUESTION: What are your thoughts about giving or receiving love notes?

Point #4: Give and Take

  • Garrett: In my world, I had to learn that it was ok to buy my wife shit. It was a very hard thing for me, and I questioned how buying gifts for her made me more valuable as a husband.
  • Danielle: Because I can buy my own things, I felt like I had to submit and let Garrett buy me gifts, which is one of my love languages. I wanted him to be the man, yet at first I wasn’t allowing space for him to do that.

QUESTION: Why are you stopping your spouse from giving you what you say you want to receive from them?

Point #5: Dance With Me

  • Garrett: As you can tell, we're still working on this, which is the ability to actually communicate with and understand the language of our partner.
  • Inside of that, we get to choose to do two things: appreciate the language they receive in, and learn that we give the language that the people we're married to want to receive.

QUESTION: What does your daily dance of communication look like?


Communication Challenge:

Danielle: Garrett needs to be told "I love you" but my communication is different. Is your communication verbal or silent? Is one wrong and one right?


Date Night Topic:

For women, what is your husband’s love language and how can you cross the line a little bit for him? For men, how can you cross the line a little bit for your wife?


Quote of the Week:

"I'm essentially making love to the ocean because she accepts me every morning."

--Garrett J White

"We’ll argue about a topic and one of us has to eventually reach over to the other side and reciprocate. You have to cross the line in order to make it a little more peaceful in your home."

--Danielle K White

 

May 08, 2018
Addicted to the High of Growing | Date Your Wife | Ep 017
37:35

Today we’re going to share with you an intense, potent and powerful interview with Danielle from the Warrior Empire event in December 2016. It was the first time Danielle took to the stage where she talked about what it's like to be a woman married to a man living the Warrior’s Way.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication


In This Week's Podcast....COMMUNICATION

Point #1: When a Wife Fights the Change Her Husband Wants to Make

  • In the beginning, Danielle was completely against how Garrett was showing up. He was going to self help seminars and making her feel guilty for not going with him. He continued challenging her, which caused her to reevaluate who she was and who she wanted to become.
  • Danielle: Put yourself in your wife's shoes. If she started implementing change, how would you react? People in general don’t like change because it’s scary. From a wife’s perspective, you can’t overwhelm her, but rather lead by example in the same way you would lead children.

QUESTION: Gentlemen, what is the way you initiate growth and change in your partner?

Point #2: Choosing In

  • There was a point in time when Danielle had to choose to be all in for herself and for their marriage. Garrett was moving in the direction he was going and he was committed over time to a certain path, while at the same time they were both trying to recover from chaos as a couple.
  • Danielle: I felt that both of us were fighting and neither of us was ready to give up. We were both not necessarily choosing in, but we weren’t out and were still very much connected. All it takes is that little piece of connection to rekindle and to rebuild.

QUESTION: How can you "choose in" to your marriage everyday to keep the flame burning or to rekindle a fading flame?

Point #3: Sex and Marriage

  • Danielle: It’s give and take. You have to play the role a little bit and let go of your ego. In order to build that sexual chemistry that seems to leave after you get married, think about the feeling you had when you were dating and do what you did back then: You got your car washed, you got a new pair of shoes, you planned the date, you were flirty.
  • How did sex therapy help us? I felt like I could say what I was thinking without worrying about upsetting Garrett. Having a therapist is like having a sounding board where it’s immediately less triggering for both sides, although Garrett got triggered to the point where during a session he jumped up and did pushups because he was so pissed.

QUESTION: What do you do to keep the sexual chemistry strong in your relationship?

Point #4: Collision

  • Danielle: Whether the wife works or not, when couples grow, the wife goes into this “I can do everything” mode where it seems kind of masculine. It's actually more cold and calculated where we don't come across as very feminine, but instead we're in focus mode trying to get shit done.
  • Garrett: Gentlemen, the more you encourage your wife  to change, the more she will rise in power, and the more collisions are going to take place. As Danielle has risen in power as a creator and a producer, her masculinity has also risen, so there’s this collision that exists inside of her. Sometimes the collision we experience is not as lovers or as a couple, but instead as two masculine energies colliding.

QUESTION: What happens when you collide with your spouse?

Point #5: Living the Warrior's Way

  • Danielle: I’m addicted to the high of growing where it makes me feel like comfortable is no longer an option. Progressing as a person is now a high for me. How can I stay where I am when the sky’s the limit? Where things were once scary and chaotic in our life and relationship, we’re now in a much healthier space.
  •  I look at where we are now and the only thing I feel is gratitude, humility and excitement. If this has happened in the last five years, what’s going to happen in the next five years? I get glimpses of the future sometimes and I'm like, "Oh shit, that's so cool!"

QUESTION: How have you and your spouse changed as a direct result of living the Warrior's Way?


Communication Challenge:

Take some time to have a conversation around this idea of collision. How can you use this tool to better serve your relationship?


Date Night Topic:

On your next Date Night, take a trip down memory lane and talk about what you both used to do in the early days of your dating and start implementing those things to rekindle and ignite the flame of sexual chemistry between you.


Quote of the Week:

"Once men experience Warrior, they become more invested in their children, which produces a new kind of chaos while they figure out how to balance this with their role as a husband, and as a hunter and provider."

--Garrett J White

"No matter who you’re with, you’re going to have problems. With Garrett and I, it made more sense to rebuild our relationship than to burn it to the ground."

--Danielle K White

 

 

May 01, 2018
Space and Love | Date Your Wife | Ep 016
44:38

In this week's episode about Parenting, Garrett and Danielle engage in a lively conversation about the work that is required as a man to actually stay connected to his children, why sometimes as a man the only reason why you’re actually spending time with your children is because you think you’re getting points with your wife that will ultimately lead to sex, and how creating space and loving yourself are two of the ultimate gifts you can give to your children.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week's Podcast....PARENTING

Point #1: Ulterior Motives

  • There are some twisted reasons why guys want to spend time with their children. I used to spend time with my kids because I thought I was earning points with Danielle which would ultimately end up with me getting laid.
  • What I wanted to do was to spend time with my children but had gotten stuck in the very interesting place where I was trying to find an entry point into connection. The vast majority of my married life was in pursuit of getting laid.

QUESTION: Where in your relationship do have ulterior motives for the things you do?

Point #2: Creating Space

  • Garrett: As a businessman, it's crucial to give myself permission to create space for me beyond my business, beyond my beautiful wife and beyond my amazing children. If you don’t give yourself this space, you’re going to find yourself getting exhausted and fatigued. Surfing has given me the time that I get to be with myself, and in that place I become a better father and a better husband.
  • Danielle: You have to be careful with your hobbies and interests because when they become too much of an obsession, it can actually take away time from your kids and family. It's easy to get obsessed over something and then you have to try to figure out how to find a balance with it and not let it overly consume you.

QUESTION: What do you do to create space for yourself?

Point #3: Parker

  • I have a son who is 19 years old and has been living with us for the past six weeks. It’s the first time since he was six months old that he has chosen to live with his father, and the first time since forever that he has decided to call me dad. It was ultimately Wake Up Warrior that brought my son back into my life.
  • Danielle:What you thought was lost because you didn't raise him is coming full circle. The timing plays a big roll in how things work out and it's happening how it should. Garrett: The timing with Parker being here inside of my world at this time is perfect. There’s a lot of things that had to happen for this to play out and I’m very happy and excited about it.

QUESTION: Where in your life is perfect timing showing up in a way you never expected?

Point #4: Boobs and Tattoos

  • When Danielle was 18, she had breast augmentation and always felt they were too big for her tiny frame.  After her recent miscarriage, she decided to have them replaced despite the huge mommy guilt and fear she was experiencing , and despite the fact that Garrett was a little worried about her breasts getting smaller. When it was all said and done, she felt so happy and she wondered why she had waited so long do to it.
  • Garrett: You wanted to do the boob job and it was something that you felt like you needed to do. I wanted this tattoo on my arm but you were against it. Inside of both of these moves it has given us something as individuals and parents that we can actually give back to our children.

QUESTION: What have each of you done in your relationship that the other hasn't been too thrilled about at the time, but in the end you have accepted as part of what makes the other happy?

Point #5: Love Yourself

  • What does God ultimately want? Love thy neighbor as thyself: love your wife as you love yourself, love your children as you love yourself. If you hate yourself, it is actually impossible to love your wife or to love your children. If you hate yourself, what you will offer up is a manipulative bullshit motivational game of love to your children.
  • I have learned to appreciate the fact that I am a complete fuck up and at the same time, I’m completely fantastic. When I come to accept all the vastness of who I am, inside of that I’m given this permission slip to experience it with my children and my wife..

QUESTION: What's stopping you from fully loving and accepting yourself?


Communication Challenge:

Bring up the conversation with your family the importance of loving yourself in order to more fully love others.


Date Night Topic:

What are you going to do this week in creating space for yourself beyond your partner and your children so that you have the ability to actually be a very present parent and partner?


Quote of the Week:

"Most of what has changed within our relationship is a deep appreciation and understanding for who I am, and inside of understanding that truth, being willing to do things for me because I want to do them for me - not because I need Danielle’s permission, not because I want Danielle to like it, but because I know that inside of doing it, it's going to be something I feel I need to do."

--Garrett J White

"Respect yourself and you’ll respect others. Respect your children and they will respect you. Respect people you are around and work with, they will respect you. Just be fuckin nice. There’s a lot to be learned in being nice and liking yourself, taking time for yourself, taking time for others and creating balance in your life."

--Danielle K White

 

Apr 24, 2018
Money Matters | Date Your Wife | Ep015
44:12

Welcome to Date Night with the White’s here on the Date Your Wife podcast. Today's conversation with Garrett and Danielle is about the topic of Money and the important role it plays in your relationship.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week's Podcast....MONEY

Point #1: Men Must Produce

  •  When you make enough money to put your family into abundance, theres a shift in the way that you see yourself as a man and a shift in the way you see your relationship. It also affects the way your wife sees you.
  • Generally, women want to be taken care of. Even if we can produce, we still want our man to ‘be the man’ and take care of us. A man is sexier to a woman when he's the one producing.

QUESTION: Does this ring true for you as a couple?

Point #2: Be Comfortable

  • Garrett: Inside of our relationships, money sits at the core. It allows you to do so much shit as a couple or it constrains you to do so much shit as a couple. We have friends who celebrate their success and use it as tool to inspire other people to create more, and then we have other friends who simply hide it all and pretend like they're broke.
  • Danielle:There was a period of about five years where we were experiencing rapid growth and we disconnected ourselves from people. I had surface relationships and felt like I was kind of guarding myself. What I've come to realize now is that I can have relationships with everyone  - it's just a matter of me being comfortable with me.

QUESTION: Are you living in a scarcity mindset while being surrounded by your wealth?

Point #3: You Must Leap

  • In 2009 after I had lost everything, I was offered a job from a friend at a very crucial time for me when I didn’t have a lot of belief in myself. I was terrified as a husband and as a producer and had lost all confidence in myself. There came a pivotal moment when I realized my life was in the balance and something in my soul said "you must fucking leap."
  • Danielle: When we were dating, I saw Garrett  for who he was and who he could become. I knew there were great things in store for him. So when I saw him selling out, I was so upset because I knew what he was capable of doing and becoming so much more.

QUES5ION: Where in your life have you settled?

Point #4: Don't Settle

  • Garrett: One of the greatest gifts my wife has given to me about money is that she rode my ass about it. My wife helped me see that being driven by the money is not about being driven by the money. As you get better and better at making money as a man inside of marriage, inside of that place it forces you to become a new man.
  • Danielle: I think that people play it safe in life in fear of failure. If I leap and I fall on my face, then there’s consequences; but if I just stay in the safe zone then I can just ride this out forever. If you’re listening to this and you’re feeling a stab in the heart to take action in your life, do it.

QUESTION: Where in your life are you feeling the call to take a leap of faith?

Point #5: Team Work

  • Garrett: There are a lot of you here who need to rise. Danielle and I work as a team to push each other. There are times she wants to settle into her little comfortable cocoon and then I kick her straight out of the cocoon, I rip it open and throw her off the cliff. And she does the same for me.
  • Danielle: You can produce way more as a couple if you can get on the same page of experiencing more growth together. If you can take those experiences of who you are as a couple and make them work, two is better than one, at least in my experience for us. We push each other in that way.

QUESTION: What is your dance as a couple in the way you support each other's growth?


Communication Challenge:

Have a conversation as a couple and allow yourself to collide and dream. Sit down and set a target of a game that you could create together. Who can you become as a couple economically? Who can you become as a producer individually or collectively? What would it require for you to become to pull that off?


Date Night Topic:

Give yourself some credit for where you are. Challenge yourself on your Date Night to have a conversation about possibility or collision. Either one of these paths will lead you to a new position and possibility inside of your life.


Quote of the Week:

"The reason why money matters and the reason why business matters - the reason why continuing to grow and expand matters -  is because as you get better and better at making money as a man inside of marriage, inside of that place it forces you to become a new man. I’m not the same human being I was a year ago. My money is a reflection of my ability to produce and create value in the marketplace. So I produce and I create more not for the target of having money, but rather we are in this place of a desire to become more, and inside of that we use money production as a way to accelerate that.

--Garrett J White

 

"Be you at every level."

--Danielle K White

 

Apr 17, 2018
Warm Her Up, Worry About Yourself | Date Your Wife | Ep 014
31:49

The White’s juggle children, sandwiches and grocery lists in the opening of today’s podcast, demonstrating yet again that they are keeping things real and raw. Between the flirting, bantering, sexual innuendos and Danielle revealing what she really thinks about penises, it’s no wonder their’s is the only explicitly rated podcast in the category of Parenting and Family, as they are willing to take things where others are not. Sit back and enjoy today’s conversation on the topic of Sex.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week's Podcast....SEX

Point #1: Lazy Sex

  • Danielle: It’s not like I don’t want to put in the effort, but I don’t  always want to put in the effort. On my laziest days I don't just lay there and do nothing, but there are ways to service your man without getting really into it.
  • Garrett: Does this mean that women are sexually lazy? Servicing your man is important, regardless of what the servicing looks like. A lot of women don't get this.

QUESTION: When you have sex, even quickie sex, do you experience connection or is it more like vaginal masturbation?

Point #2: Tips For Traveling

  • Garrett: When men are traveling, it doesn’t matter for 2 days or 2 weeks, they experience an increased drive sexually. It happens even if it’s just overnight. There is an increased spike of being gone from their wife in which sexual desire increases. When guys are gone for a bunch of days it is very easy for them to end up in the trap of porn. This is a very big issue for guys.
  • Danielle: If your guy is traveling, I think it’s a good idea to have sex the night before they go. Ladies, just get it done. Little things like that will make your relationship better and when he goes out of town he’s going to be more focused. I learned the hard way. It’s not that big a deal and it’s actually a win win where we both are getting what we want.

QUESTION: What are the results when you follow this formula? What are the results when you don't?

Point #3: Pouty Mode

  • Garrett went into pouty mode for 10 years because he felt so out of control inside of their relationship when it came to sex. He felt that Danielle held all of the cards and that she didn't give a shit.
  • Danielle: I found that pouty mode super unattractive. As Garrett shifted his energy, it gave me room to breathe. He just stopped asking and didn’t bring so much pouty energy to the table.  That's when I started changing my story about Quickies and QQP was born..

QUESTION: What energy is present when pouty mode enters the picture in your relationship?

Point #4: Women Are Like Crockpots

  • Garrett: You tell me to warm you up first and then worry about myself. What does that look like? You have guys who don’t worry about their wife at all and worry about their own orgasm, then you have guys who are worried about their wife’s orgasm - there’s even a book called, "She Comes First."
  • Danielle: I don’t agree with that and I’m going to tell you why from a girl’s perspective. Warm her up first and then worry about yourself. I like to be warmed up, but if I go first, I’m less into you. It's a song and dance, really. We're both at the finish line: if I go first and you come right after me, it's like we cross the finish line together.

QUESTION: What does your dance look like?

Point #5: Hobbies Bring Fulfillment

  • Garrett got to the point where he began relying on his masturbation toy and started drinking more. He went into a place of suppression where he literally didn’t give a shit. At Danielle's suggestion, he took up surfing, which has been an exceptionally good fit for him
  • Danielle: I suggested he take up surfing because I felt it would be something that he would enjoy. He comes back happy and full of this great energy, plus it gives me more space. He has a mistress called surfing and I'm fine with that mistress.

QUESTION: What hobbies do you both enjoy that add positive energy and breathing space inside of your relationship?


Communication Challenge:

 Talk about the ways you like being serviced by your spouse - and then go experiment.


Date Night Topic:

Begin the conversation around this idea of "Warm her up, worry about you." What does that look like inside of your marriage?


Quote of the Week:

"When you are both on point together and he goes on a trip, this simple strategy of having Date Night and sex the night before you go - whether you’re fighting or angry or not - if you do this, life is going to be better. Your man’s going to go hunt more powerfully, which means that when he’s gone he’s going to be more productive in business; he’s not going to go to porn because he’s going to feel connected to you while he’s gone."

--Garrett J White

"If it has been awhile since you have seen him and he comes back into town, just get it out of the way. I used to be standoffish and we would end up getting into fights. My advice is just get it off the table and out of the way. It doesn’t have to be a big show, just do it. He will become like putty in your hands."

--Danielle K White

Apr 10, 2018
Below the Surface | Date Your Wife | Ep 013
46:32

The dynamic duo of Garrett J and Danielle K White hold nothing back in this week's Date Your Wife podcast where they tackle the topic of Communication while candidly exploring the pros and cons of alcohol use in their marriage, the seemingly magical power women have over men, and how wearing frumpy lulu sweat pants and 40 pounds of excess fat around your mid section sends a clear message to your spouse that you don't give a shit.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication


In This Week's Podcast....PARENTING

Point #1: Deep Communication Is Vital

  • At the end of the day, what we’re really talking about is being able to get to the place where you can have conversation. If one thing triggers you about your spouse, it’s hard to talk about anything else. What you’re triggered about is usually something that’s really, really important to you. So being able to communicate about it is vital to your sanity and to the health of your marriage.
  • One of the things Garrett and Danielle used as a couple was alcohol to support them in that path. It opened up a space where they could have hard conversations and go deeper beyond surface conversation. Alcohol also created for them the opportunity to experience sexuality with each other even when they were arguing and fighting about a ton of other shit, which is a part of what kept them going.

QUESTION: What tools do you use that help you and your spouse have deeper conversations without setting off fireworks?

Point #2: When Alcohol Becomes a Problem

  • After a certain amount of time, alcohol was no longer working for them. In recent weeks, Garrett had become less patient and quick to lose his temper with Danielle and their eldest daughter, causing him to make the decision to walk away from alcohol for the past 15 days from when this episode was recorded and going.
  •  Danielle: On Date Nights, drinking was like a treat and was fun for us. It allowed us to let go of the day and just relax. When it became like a dependency, I was thinking it might be becoming a problem. After work, I would come home and drink a glass of wine with dinner every night and think that's totally normal, but then one glass would turn into two or three and I realized I didn't really want to be that person drinking a glass of wine every night.

QUESTION: What habits have you taken on in your marriage that are no longer serving you?  What would it take for you to make the decision to walk away from them?

Point #3: Dress the Part

  • How you dress sends a non verbal message of energy towards your spouse every single day. Danielle: Date Night changed everything for Garrett. He was dressing in an old plaid shirt, but he didn't feel sexy in it. When he started dressing up, he knew that he looked good and sexy, which translated into energy and confidence.
  • Danielle: I’m a fan of dressing to feel on point. It just makes me feel better and I’m ready to go for the day. The days when I don’t take the time time to get ready, I just don't feel great. What energy am I putting off? Like I don’t give a shit? Instead of putting on my mom outfit, I’m going to throw on some jeans and some cute shoes just to make me feel like I have put myself together for the day. I feel better doing it and I have a more productive day.

QUESTION: What changes are you willing to make to your wardrobe to reflect a sexier, more confident you?

Point #4: Straight Talk

  • Garrett: There are a lot of women who don’t dress up except once a week on Date Night. I’m not telling you you have to dress up like a princess every single day, all day long. What I am telling you is this: How you dress impacts the energy of what your husband sees when he comes home. If he comes home to the frumpy sweat pant lulu lady in constant ponytails, let me tell you what’g going to happen: there’s going to be lack of attraction.
  • Garrett: A vast majority of the married men that I have met are in worse shape than their wives. Men, your body did not go to shit show bringing babies into this world. This is like pushing a pumpkin out of your penis. You're carrying bullshit weight and your wife’s not turned on about it either - not just because of your body, but because you don’t feel powerful about the way you look.

QUESTION: Take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself: Would I be turned on by my appearance?

Point #5: Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

  • Garrett: Let’s pretend that your body is a witness of your commitment to your wife, that what you’ve done to your body and how it looks is currently communicating more to your wife about your commitment to your marriage than anything you're trying to tell her.
  • It’s not about six packs, bikini beach bodies or being super shredded. At the end of the day, you’ve got to be on point about the way way you feel about your body, and inside of that you have to feel on point about how you package yourself. It’s all about the energy and what makes you feel confident.

QUESTION: How do you feel about your body?


Communication Challenge:

What can you do in the way you are currently presenting yourself to your partner physically? Write down something in the way you dress that would start sending the message: Hey, I actually care about myself!

Send Garrett and Danielle some of your thoughts on why this show has been working for you, along with topics you would like to hear us discuss to: garrett@wakeupwarrior.com


Date Night Topic:

Talk about what you can do inside of your marriage that would allow for you to actually be able to isolate and discuss one or two of your problems as a couple.


Quote of the Week:

"To all you men who let their bodies go and never have to carry the children: You haven’t had to get pregnant or carry the baby for nine months and then push a fucking baby out of your penis. You literally have no excuse. You want to get laid. You want to get connected, but what are you communicating to your wife when you come out of the shower with a towel on and your extra 30-40 pounds, your hairy back and chest? No matter what, your wife is not turned on by this. Your lights are getting turned down and there’s no show going on because you’re not actually showing that you give a shit."

--Garrett J White

"Ladies, if you’re in a good mood and your husband’s in a bad mood, don’t let him bring you down to that level. Understand it's probably not even about you. Walk a little sexy, be flirty, go kiss his ear a little bit, smile, rub up against him, turn on your charm. Whatever they're pissed about will go away - they just can't help it!"

--Danielle K White

 

Apr 03, 2018
Connection in Parenting | Date Your Wife | Ep 012
01:02:33

In the show that is sparking an opportunity for married couples to have conversations they wouldn’t normally be able to have, married co-hosts Danielle K and Garrett J White dive deep into the topic of Parenting in this week's real and raw Date Your Wife Podcast as they discuss discipline, connection and what really matters to them as parents.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week's Podcast....PARENTING

Point #1: Miscarriage

  • Danielle and Garrett have a thoughtful and candid conversation about her miscarriage that happened while Garrett was in Florida speaking at the recent Click Funnels event. "As women, most of the time we know we are pregnant long before a test tells us we are, as we tend to be naturally intuitive about our bodies."
  • Danielle was hesitant to tell many people she was pregnant because somehow she knew this pregnancy wasn’t going to last and she didn’t want to get her hopes up too much in case something like this were to happen.

QUESTION: If you have experienced a miscarriage, how has it affected you, your spouse and your children?

Point #2: The Puppy Parenting Strategy

  • Danielle's beloved Weiner dog, Chloe, is 14 years old and has had a self designated poop rug in every house the White's have ever lived in. Garrett is Chloe’s master poop picker upper and Danielle claims cute Chloe drops those logs on the rug simply because she and Garrett haven't taught her well, nor have they been consistent with her, while Garrett swears it's because of doggy poop karma.
  • Danielle: I suck at being consistent as a parent and am full of empty threats. I don’t even know how to parent my ten year old daughter. I’m always thinking of things to take away from her for her punishment or giving her time frames to complete things, but she doesn’t seem to care. She is so stubborn and hates being told what to do.

QUESTION: In what ways are you and your spouse consistent or inconsistent with your children?

Point #3: Conflicting Parental Strategies

  • Although Danielle admits she has no parenting strategy, she feels Garrett's approach is too harsh and tends to get in between he and the kids when he is trying to discipline them his way. Garrett shares that they're a shit show in a lot of areas and that they really don't have much figured out when it comes to parenting, except in a couple of areas where they both admit they really shine at being parents: connection and family time.
  • Garrett: Sometimes I’m not even sure how to respond to my children because we have such contradicting strategies for parenting. I’m very much in your face, aggressive and yelling, where Danielle obviously does not do this. Oft times this causes collision.

QUESTION: What ways of disciplining do you and your spouse tend to agree on?

Point #4: Take Off the Filters

  • Garrett: As adults we have been trained to stuff everything down, we've been trained to not talk about the truth or reality. The one thing that I was worried about as a father was giving our children the space to be emotionally honest with us in our home, which means being able to talk to us about hard things.
  • Amidst the fact that Danielle and Garrett admittedly have very obvious dysfunction in their disciplining skills, the one thing they agree to having is a deep connection and open communication with their children. There's no topic that's considered taboo or off limits. In their home, the kids are exposed to a reality check of how life really is, which includes debate, disagreement and open conversation.

QUESTION: Is the filter on or off at your home? What can you do to create a more open environment for your family?

 

Point #5: Get Clear On What Really Matters

  • Garrett: What exactly is your commitment to your children? You’re not going to win all of the wars in all of the categories. If you do, what you will end up with is a very sedated child who is doing a shit load of stuff behind your back. I need to know that my children can take care of themselves. I need to know that my daughter has the power to take a stand for herself when I’m not around or when Danielle’s not around.
  • You’re never going to have a perfect situation no matter what you try to do, and you’re never going to have it all figured out and have nailed down every single aspect of parenting with your children.

QUESTION: What are the parts of parenting that actually matter to you?

 


Communication Challenge:

What is the part of the relationship between you and your children that actually works?


Date Night Topic:

What are the things that are non negotiable for you inside this relationship between you and your children - the things that you are going to battle hard on? What are all of the other things that would be nice to have but you're going to let them go or let them slide while you focus all of your energy on your main commitment?

 


Quote of the Week:

"You need to pick what your battles are. We are all trying to create a game that makes sense for our children and for us as parents. We are not perfect with this, we don’t profess to be, nor do we pretend like we have all of the answers. Something we do have is the communication and the opportunity to share."

--Garrett J White

 

"I’ve noticed on the topic of communication, because it is our strength with our children, that cousins, siblings, and people outside of the family feel like they can come to us and share things with us. We’re the safe place for people come to tell things to."

--Danielle K White

 

Mar 27, 2018
Buying Time For Your Family | Date Your Wife | Ep 011
45:24

In this this week's topic of Money, Garrett and Danielle explore the idea that the best return of investment you can make is that of time and experiences with your spouse and children and share stories and tips on how to pull this off successfully, no matter what circumstances you may currently find yourself in.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week's Podcast....SEX

Point #1: Feeling Like An ATM or Piece of Ass?

  • Inside the game of Relationship, money itself is a controlling tool for most men. Men use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. At the end of the day, this seduction loop leaves many men feeling that the only validation they get is when they make the money - like they are an ATM.
  • The wife can be feeling like she’s 'just a piece of Ass' and a non paid slave. Taking care of the home and the children is a full time job in and of itself, worth a lot more than many men are giving their wives permission to spend.

QUESTION: What actions tend to follow when you feel like an ATM or a piece of Ass inside your marriage?

 

Point #2: Unplug and Let Go

  • Women understand that men have worked all day yet want them to unplug from work and just be present with the family when they are home. Men feel like their day never ends. They come home from a long day of work and then are expected to be fully present with their wife and children.
  • Garrett: I want to spend time with you, not the stressed out version of you that’s worrying about cleaning the fucking house right now. I don’t want a fucking check list of things to clean. I want to be with you.

QUESTION:What do you do that helps you transition from work to home in becoming present with your spouse and children? 

 

Point #3: What's Your Story?

  • Garrett: There are going to be guys with stay at home wives up in arms about this, saying: What?! Let me get this shit straight: I’m going to go pay somebody to come into my home to clean and do the laundry?  That’s the woman’s job. She has to do that. That’s why she’s home!
  • What if you questioned the story: My wife’s the one that is supposed to clean and make dinner. It’s the guy’s job to mow the lawn. Who made these rules anyway?

QUESTION: What stories are you hanging onto about the different roles of men and women that are hindering your ability to grow together?

 

Point #4: Spend Money to Buy Time

  • Garrett: One of the ways you can use money as a man inside of your home and inside of being together as a couple is to use your money in a way that buys the thing for the family that gives them what actually matters: TIME.  There’s this transition that comes with being willing to spend money to buy time.
  • Danielle: People get emotionally bogged down over the stupidest shit. No matter what role you play in your family (working mom, stay at home mom, community mom) there are all of these little things that could lift the weight off our shoulders, relieving tension and guilt, freeing up more time to spend with the family - which is so worth it to me.

QUESTION: Where in your life could you make some little adjustments that would free up more time to spend together as a couple or as a family?

 

Point #5: Your Family Is An Investment

  • Garrett: Gentlemen, I’m going to have you consider that the greatest rate of return is to make sure that you stay together as a family. One of the ways to pull this off is to create conditions for your wife to actually have more opportunities.
  • Danielle: Women tend to take on the persona of Wonder Woman - I can do it all! I can be everything! It’s not realistic, and those who say it is are lying to themselves. You've go to be ok with the idea that you can't do everything.

QUESTION: How are you investing in our family in terms of  dollars, time and experiences? 

 


Communication Challenge:

At the end of the day, if your money doesn’t serve you and your marriage and family, then what is the point in having it, anyway?

 


Date Night Topic:

What are some of the investments you can make irregardless of the amount of money you have? In my world, there were plenty of times I was in shitty old sweats with a t-shirt and I was trying to figure out how to do these two things, and you can too.

#1 - How are you going to take some dollars this week to buy some more time for you and your family so that you can have #2 - The time and experiences that matter?

 


Quote of the Week:

"You tell me where you’re going to get a higher rate of return: Money in your 401k plan, or money in a babysitter to watch your children while you take your wife out on a date? Where are you going to get a higher ROI? Putting money into a cleaner to buy your wife more sanity so she doesn’t become a fucking crazy person, or putting money back into your 401k plan? Where are you going to get a higher rate of return? Taking money and time to invest in experiences with your children, or putting money into your 401k plan?."

--Garrett J White

"Guilt is the #1 destructive thing. It’s the enemy. It does not serve you. If you find yourself feeling guilty, ask yourself: How can I let go of this guilt? How can I change this story? Find your balance, find out how to let go of the guilt, and more importantly, learn how and create a story that serves you best."

--Danielle K White

 

 

Mar 20, 2018
Slip 'N Slide | Date Your Wife | Ep 010
01:00:31

Grab some popcorn, folks, and get ready for another off the charts episode of the always spicy and highly entertaining Date Your Wife podcast, featuring  the refreshing "tell it like it is" co-hosts, Garrett and Danielle White. They're at it once again as they delve into Garrett’s self proclaimed favorite topic of Sex. Danielle calls Garrett out on his creepy strip shows in his weird thong and invites him to become more comfortable with his sexuality, and Garrett says he doesn’t want empty sex - aka: vaginal masturbation. Fan favorites Quickie Quickie Porn Star and TTF are back in the mix, and there's a new arrival on the scene: Slip 'n Slide.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication


In This Week's Podcast....SEX

Point #1: Sexy Seduction 101

  • Being sexy is as simple as walking around in a new bra and underwear while casually asking, "Have you seen my toothbrush?" Garrett suggests saving money by skipping the bra and just buying the panties. Sometimes it’s a 'top-stays-on-bottom-comes-off' kind of night. Other times, it’s an everything comes off, keep the lights on and do a little dancing around kind of night.
  • Most women need a little wining and dining before the main course. Take her there just a little bit and then worry about yourself.

 

QUESTION: How have QQPS (Quickie Quickie Porn Star) and TTF (Touch Me-Tell Me-Fuck Me) become game changers in your marital sex life?

Point #2: Sex Therapy Is Not About Sex

  • Throughout their marriage, Danielle had never felt there was a safe space to talk about sex with Garrett, making it awkward for her to even bring up. She found herself starting to believe his story about her that she didn't want to have sex.
  • Sex therapy for the White’s yields the single greatest breakthrough for Garrett after Danielle divulges a piece of information that instantly shreds a story he created during his first marriage and brought with him into theirs. Garrett creates a new story which shifts and rocks their world.

QUESTION: Men: What is your sexual story?

 

Point #3: The Perfect Storm

  • As a 15 year old Mormon teen who has been raised that sex before marriage is taboo, Garrett divulged to his parents his plan to have sex with his 18 year old girlfriend after the upcoming Prom. He gets immediately shipped away to live with his grandparents in Utah for a couple of months, and as a result, never has a conversation about it or closure with his girlfriend whom he has been dating for a year and is madly in love with.
  • Garrett dates his first wife under the umbrella that says sexual relations are taboo before marriage. Yet, they fool around and have sexual relations, lie about it to their religious leaders, adding to the guilt and shame created when he was 15. Sex in his marriage with Danielle becomes problematic, as Garrett carries into it this brewing cesspool of guilt, shame, and pain, while Danielle, because of her Mormon upbringing, feels like she has to stifle her sexual feelings that come natural to her.

 

QUESTION: How has your upbringing shaped and influenced your attitude, beliefs, and stories about sex?

 

Point #4: It's Written in the Stars

  • In her astrological studies, Danielle is validated by her discoveries that, as a Taurus woman, she is very sensual, loves cuddling, and is very happily satisfied with her traditional approach to sex because a good thing never gets old. She's been changing it up with QQPS, which Garrett loves.
  • Communication for Gemini’s is huge and they love to be emotionally stimulated more than anything else. Garrett realized that he had gotten so disrespectful as a husband and exposes the lie that all he wanted was someone to have sex with everyday. What has exploded their sex life is their connection to truth.

QUESTION: What is written in the stars about you individually that resonates with you, that can serve you and your spouse in your marriage?

Point #5: Your Story is Your Biggest Problem

  • Garrett - I didn’t know what our relationship would be if we weren’t always arguing about having sex. Danielle: I was fearful and wondering, if we have a new story, does that mean we have a new story with with somebody else?
  • There was a lot of action and collision that had to happen, which were really a pursuit of truth underneath the surface of all the lies that we were telling, which came in two forms: the blatant lies we were telling and the stories that we started to believe. Your stories are powerful enough to convert your husband or wife to believe.

 

QUESTION: What are the lies that the collision in your marriage is trying to uncover?

 


Communication Challenge:

What is your sexual story? Do the investigation on your own about your own story, and then in a conversation with your spouse, share your results with them.


Date Night Topic:

On your date night, be open to having a conversation that the stories you tell are your biggest problems.

 


Quote of the Week:

"We had come to the point where our stories had become so intense that it was almost easier for us to burn the story, burn the relationship, than just try again with somebody else. But the crazy part was, guess what we would have taken with us? The same fuckin story."

--Garrett J White

 

"I bet a lot of men feel like that towards their wives [I need a vagina. We're married. Your vagina is mine.]  It devalues the actual qualities that they want and need to create fulfillment, and it devalues those qualities in themselves. They start looking at and treating their wives as objects. I felt that way and was thinking 'you better give me more credit than just being a good piece of ass."

--Danielle K White

 

Mar 13, 2018
Communicating in the Stars | Date Your Wife | Ep 009
32:14

It's never a dull moment with the White’s in this week's edgy and spicy Date Your Wife conversation on the topic of Communication, as they delve into the world of Astrology and Natal Charts, revealing startlingly accurate and sometimes surprising traits about each other. At times their entertaining and flirtatious banter delivers jabs akin to a highly competitive sparring match.


Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week's Podcast....COMMUNICATION

Point #1: Understanding Trumps Assumption

  • During their recent vacation, Danielle found herself completely submerged in the world of Astrology, studying personality and compatibility traits of both she and Garrett. What has taken Garrett fifteen years to discover about himself, Danielle has been able to figure out in ten minutes while lying on the gorgeous beaches of Maui sipping a Margareta.
  • Danielle: I'm just trying to figure out how we operate, why we do the things we do, and what makes us tick. With communication specifically, that’s what triggers people. You can say something that will trigger a person if you don’t have an understanding of who they are, where they’re coming from, or what their intentions are.

 

QUESTION: How does having an understanding of your spouse's modus operandi influence the way you communicate with them?

Point #2: Is Your Relationship Account Overdrawn?

  • Garrett has been working late every night and Danielle wants to spend more time with him, which she recently communicated to him. He has been wanting her to communicate her feelings more often to him, but once she did, Garrett flipped it into an argument. A text and audio battle ensued.
  • Garrett: Part of the problem is you don’t make any deposits in my account and tell me I’m doing a great job, which is very important for me. I feel like you are starving me. Danielle: I've come to realize that communication is very important to you and that you always need tons of validation, tons of communication, and tons of praise.

 

QUESTION: When was the last time you made a deposit in your relationship account?

Point #3: Can You Outsource Your Love Language?

  • When our gas tanks are low, we have zero desire to fill up each other's gas tanks. We start to drift and become strangers in the night,  and the next thing you know we’re talking divorce. This was always our pattern. I was giving her what I wanted to receive instead of what she wanted and needed to receive, and vice versa.
  • Garrett realized when he sends a love note to Danielle, it's because he wants to receive love notes. Danielle: Can I have someone else write love notes to you? Garrett: You want to outsource your love? Ok, you go outsource it and send me a daily gdamn love letter. And I'll outsource a guy to show up and sit on the couch and just sit there while you put your legs on him.

 

QUESTION: How has understanding each other's Love Languages improved the way you communicate?

Point #4: Respect is Like Peanut Butter

  • Danielle: I think we have a lot of respect for each other and recognize how hard we have worked to get where we are. Even though we might not think the same, we have the same intentions and goals. I’ve realized I am never going to get you to see the world the way I see it.  And I need to just accept that.
  • Garrett: I think we have the same energy and drive. But we definitely don’t agree on everything and that’s okay. Part of being able to course correct comes down to respect. It's the ability to not have to agree on everything, and the respect is what takes you through, not love.

 

QUESTION: Do you feel like you must agree on everything in order to have a healthy, thriving marriage? Why or why not?

Point #5: Collision is Inevitable

  • Danielle: My advice for women when you want to share something with your man is to approach him in a way where you can actually have a safe conversation and express your feelings without things going south. Frame the conversation so that it is coming from the heart and not the head, and frame it in a way that you can actually get past your shit.
  • Garrett: Here's my suggestion for the guys: The better you know yourself, the better you can communicate with your wife what you want and what you don’t want.

 

QUESTION: How do you handle collision?

 


Communication Challenge:

Be open to the possibility of doing some research about yourselves in some new places, and then have some fun talking about what you discover. Here are some suggestions for you: astrowow.com, kolbe.com, colorcode.com

 


Date Night Topic:

On your Date Night this week, have a conversation about what it is you actually want.

 


Quote of the Week:

"I've been studying something called the Natal Chart which is a tool I use within my Soul Purpose Blueprint. What I know about Gemini’s is that we run the Universe and we are are the sexual gods of the Universe."

--Garrett J White

"Now that we have come to understand and respect one another, even though we’re a lot different - and yes, we’re still going to get into arguments and disagree on things - I think we are at that place of respect where we can come together. His strengths help me, and my strengths help him. I think our businesses getting to the level they are at is the result of us working together and playing off each other’s strengths and weaknesses."

--Danielle K White

Mar 06, 2018
Parenting With Purpose Not Guilt | Date Your Wife | Ep 008
59:56

In today's episode Garrett and Danielle tackle the topic of parenting after just returning from an epic family vacation in Maui the week before. As much as they love spending time together as family, there's still a guilt that comes as working parents in creating one's business empire while still trying to raise one's own children spending enough quality time with them.

 


Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

 


In This Week's Podcast....PARENTING

Point #1: Mommy and Daddy Guilt

  • Garrett: I was stuck inside the story that everything I was doing was fucking up my kids and messing with their future.  As a businessman this is a real killer because we are so busy with our businesses, how do we deal with the guilt and shame of not showing up as a father in a way that is actually connected or makes you feel good?
  • Danielle felt guilty as a mom, especially when she was a younger mom micro managing everything and always feeling like she had to be there as a mom. Many women have a really hard time spending money or time on themselves, which can make going out on dates with their husbands extremely stressful, especially when you have really young kids.

 

QUESTION: How has playing the guilt card suffocated your relationship? What are some ways you can begin letting go and freeing yourself of guilt and shame?

 

Point #2: Out of the Mouths of Babes

  • During the podcast, their 11 year old daughter make a surprise appearance via telephone, candidly answering questions posed by her parents. When asked about vacations as a family: "I think it's important because you get time off from work and get to spend time with us for a whole week instead of just seeing us after school or after your Date Nights, or in the morning." 
  • Danielle has fought hard for the vacations and sees them as a time to reconnect as a family, create memorable experiences for everyone and memories for the kids, and a way to establish family traditions. Both she and Garrett loved family vacations and reunions when they were growing up.

 

QUESTION: What are some of your favorite memories from family trips or vacations you have taken?

Point #3: Fulfillment Comes From Purpose

  • Garrett and Danielle both have a Purpose beyond each other and a Purpose beyond their parenting. That Purpose fulfills both of them individually, then that individual connection with themselves connects with each other as a couple, and that 'couple love' spreads down into their children. 
  • As they have gotten more on the same page with each other and more ok with the idea of who they are individually, this has opened up the possibility for their children to see a new path for living. At the end of the day, parenting is about role modeling 'How to Live.' The one one skillset that you should give your children?  How to powerfully live the truth of who they are.

 

QUESTION: What Purpose have you found for yourselves individually beyond your relationship or children? How can you support each other in living that more fully?

Point #4: Make Time For Each Other

  • We have this faulty belief system that says: My marriage must come secondary to the raising of my children, thinking that somehow the raising of our children will happen with more power from a couple that’s disconnected, doesn’t love each other, aren’t having sex, and are not communicating.
  • While in Maui, about 90% of the couples staying at the Four Seasons were in their late 50s and 60s, completely bored with and disconnected from each other, questioning if they even wanted to stay together. They had lost themselves inside the focus on their children.

 

QUESTION: What can you begin doing in your marriage to prevent yourselves from becoming a statistic when the kids are grown?

Point #5: Date Night is Non-negotiable

  • Danielle wasn’t always a passionate advocate of Date Night. Garrett had to fight for what has now become normal inside of their relationship: weekly Date Nights. He cautions men that it’s not going to be easy at first – you’re going to have a wife that is dealing with all of the guilt and emotions surrounding the stress of leaving the kids with a babysitter, not to mention reconciling the cost of the entire evening.
  • Gentlemen: Take charge and make this shit happen! Don't make Date Nights negotiable. Put your crown on, pick up your shield and your sword and fight for the shit required to put your relationship back on track. Here are a couple resources to help you with this: care.com and warriorbook.com

 

QUESTION: When was your last Date Night?

 


Communication Challenge:

Discuss the actions you feel inspired to take after listening to today's podcast.

 


Date Night Topic:

1 - Go on a Date Night to schedule Date Nights.

2 - Have a conversation about the guilt that you may be experiencing individually and as a couple.

 


Quote of the Week:

"I would have you consider that the greatest parenting you could offer your children is to demonstrate a great relationship with your partner. You want to be a better father? Then date their mother. You want to be a better father? Then make love to their mother. You want to be a better father? Then show them the example of what it is to be a man fighting for a relationship and for a marriage."

--Garrett J White

 

"You chose to get married. You chose to have a family. There’s connection with your spouse and there’s connection with each of your children. You will always be their mom, but you’re not always going to be their parent. Find some Purpose and Passion in your life. It’s not going to take away from anything that you will give your kids. In fact, it will give more to your kids. Allow yourself permission to let go of that guilt and find something for yourself."

 

--Danielle K White

 

http://www.dateyouwifenow.com 

Feb 27, 2018
Dual Producers Making $$$ | Date Your Wife | Ep 007
01:03:59

This week Garrett and Danielle tackle the topic of money yet again as dual producers. Their marriage was on the verge of divorce when Danielle found motivation to take care of herself as a possible single parent that has now led to the success we see today within her salon, DKW Styling, training other Stylists on her hair extension technique known as Natural Beaded Row

 

In This Week's Podcast....MONEY

Point #1: Inside the Pit of Chaos

  • During the time they were knocking on the door of divorce, Garrett was reeling from the market crash and had stopped producing. There’s an interesting game that plays out inside of money when the man isn't producing, and together they were trying to figure it all out. During that transition it really depolarized them as a couple energetically.
  • Danielle realized she could help out financially and began turning her business into something more than a hobby. She wanted to be taken care of and also wanted to have freedom from the guilt of buying nice things for herself, remembering how her mother worked so their family could have nice things beyond their basic needs.

 

QUESTION: How have you seen your roles altered inside your marriage when financial challenges have arisen?

 

Point #2: The Fight For the Throne

  • There was this huge shift of power that came about because of money. Garrett went from the king of the castle to the servant of the queen who had her feet on both thrones while wearing both the King's crown and the Queen's crown. This is the reality of production: it’s not just about the topic of money, it’s about the power play of production.
  • Many times when a man loses the ability to produce and provide, and loses trust inside of that relationship, the woman is forced to go into masculine mode in order to produce, which creates this whole different dynamic and challenge. Garrett was under under assault and fighting for the throne that Danielle was sitting on. Gentlemen, you’re not getting the throne until you prove that you’re actually the man.

 

QUESTION: Where are you as a couple in this Game of Thrones?

Point #3: From Gucci's to Steel Toed Dude Shoes

  • Danielle felt like she was the man in the relationship. If Garrett was trying to control her she'd tell him "you don’t have a fucking leg to stand on right now." She was constantly annoyed by him and always trying to pull the rug out from under him which led to a lot of wars.
  • When Garrett started becoming more consistent, Danielle felt that the safety net was back and she could start letting up a little on her intensity of the hustle and grind. As she let up on the gas, Garrett began getting in her face to prove he was more powerful. They started to go to war in a different direction which killed their ability to communicate.

 

QUESTION: Have you experienced this dynamic as a couple?

 

Point #4: Selective Cheap Bastard Mode

  • Danielle: Garrett's not big on any holiday. Most people look forward to holidays but he doesn't. My love language is all about the gifts, but his isn't. He'll give a bum $40 and yet forget my birthday or won't do anything for it. I've now figured out a little trick that gets me what I want from Garrett.
  • Garrett: There will be times when Danielle wants to do something financially and I am thinking "this is ridiculous, there’s no fucking way, I don’t get it." On the flip side, when it comes to rebuilding a salon, I'll turn the switch on and Danielle goes into cheap bastard mode saying, "No!" My justification with money is: if it’s an investment, I put the money in.

 

QUESTION: What are your 'Cheap Bastard Modes?' What dynamic does that create in your relationship?

 

Point #5: The Collision Inside the Money Game

  • After eight months of not going to battle, they found themselves in the middle of a war zone recently around the topic of business. This reminded Garrett of a 'shit show' they created years back while dining in a quaint little restaurant in Beverly Hills, where both of them were losing their minds and Garrett was ready to throw the table across the room.
  • Garrett: It comes down to this: People want to feel validated in their desires with money. I want to feel validated inside my world when it comes to what I want financially, and you want to feel validated that your opinion matters when it comes to what you want financially.

 

QUESTION: Do you battle often as a couple? How much of that is 'healthy collision' and how much of it is a down right war zone?

 

Communication Challenge:

Begin the conversation of validation and what it looks like for each of you inside of your relationship.

 

 

Date Night Topic:

What is going to be the next stretch for you two as a couple financially that will pull you two forward? For us, it was our new home. What will it be for you?

 

Quote of the Week:

"One of the most fucked up stories that I was telling myself my entire life that did not start shifting until the last 1  1/2 to 2 years passionately, which has taken our marriage and our lives to an entirely different level beyond the date night strategy is this: I had to start looking at my investment in my wife and in my family as a return on investment. The moment I began to see that my family was an investment, the interesting thing is I began to see my value in myself even more."

--Garrett J White

 

"If you are trying to push your husband to the next level or push the relationship or whatever it is financially, just take a look at what is possible. Don’t say I wish we had this or that, just go see what is possible. A lot of people focus on their current reality and think "I can’t possibly go there" and don’t ask "what if" or "I wonder." We are both entrepreneurs and I knew that moving forward was always an option regardless of where we were currently at."

--Danielle K White

 

 

 

 

Feb 20, 2018
The Tease and the Tame | Date Your Wife | Ep 006
01:01:02

In This Week's Podcast….SEX

Point #1: Seduction and Sex

  • In the conversation of seduction, Danielle shares how seducing Garrett can be as simple as her walking through the room wearing some cute, lace panties or slowly undressing, whereas seeing Garrett confident and in his element is far more seductive and sexy to her than watching him prance around in a thong.
  • Doing your business in private vs doing it with the door wide open proves to be a spicy topic. When playing the game, "Things That Guarantee You Will Not Get Laid,"  the friend zone, tampons, hairy ass cheeks, and the naggy bitch mode top the list.

 

QUESTION: What tops your couple's list of Things That Guarantee You Will Not Get Laid? 

 

Point #2: Tracking and Lacking

  • Back when their marriage was a shit show, Danielle thought the only reason Garrett was helping out was to get laid, which was actually true. He felt he had earned sex because of all of the things he was doing for her. She noticed the difference in his energy and attitude when they had sex vs when she withheld sex from him.
  • Garrett found himself in an isolation and desperation game while tracking how much sex they weren't having. As a man having been successful in breaking the codes in his businesses, Garrett was trying to figure out how to break his wife's code, hoping his gifts to her would result in a blow job for him. Danielle was pissed because he was tracking, Garrett was pissed because she was lacking.

 

QUESTION: In what ways is your relationship similar to their "shit show" years?

 

 

Point #3: The Leverage Game

  • A man tends to leverage money and power to get sex, whereas a woman will leverage sex to get the power she wants. Garrett felt hurt and angry for being rejected sexually, while Danielle continually had her guard up and felt like she was always walking on eggshells.
  • Garrett's constant challenge became: When is my wife going to want me? He began strategizing, which backfired and began killing the attraction between them. Danielle was watching from the sidelines and figured he was a ticking time bomb.

 

QUESTION:How are you playing the Leverage Game in your marriage?

 

 

Point #4: Men: Take the Sexual Victim Card Off the Table

  • Although Danielle and Garrett existed in a space better than war, it wasn't victory - it was a place where he needed to get laid and she wanted peace in the house. Sex became awkward. When men become more powerful in business, they also become more sexually charged.
  • Being completely consumed with the frustration, anger, fear and doubt around this topic of sex and constantly being rejected, Garrett became a sexual victim. As a married man 100% committed to his wife, until he could stop the war between he and Danielle, he began neutralizing the playing field by handling his needs himself via a sex tool.

 

QUESTION: What space are you existing in as a couple?

 

Point #5: Submit and Surrender

  • While Danielle agreed she was being a bitch about withholding sex, Garrett admits he was being a dick and complete asshole withholding time and energy from her. He would deliberately set up situations for Danielle to fail so he could feel like he had control.
  • Garrett remembers the day he submitted to the reality that Danielle needed him to show up and give a shit as a husband and as a lover, even if he wasn't getting laid; that he could cuddle and be ok with it. He was going to direct all of his energy towards her, not hold her hostage anymore, and that by giving her space he would show her that he wanted her as a person - beyond her body - and that he was ALL IN.

 

QUESTION: What are the ways you hold your spouse hostage? What behaviors could you let go of that would be a game changer in your relationship?

 


Communication Challenge:

Talk about and demonstrate the ways you love being seduced by each other.

 


Date Night Topic:

Do you use Garrett's formula of TTF?  Or a different formula?  Talk about the formulas that work for you in your marriage.

 


Quote of the Week:

"You became unattractive to me because you wouldn't put out. People would look at us as this attractive couple, and I was like fuck that. I've got a g*ddamn frozen ice block barbie in a box goin' on. I don't get to touch it - nothing! It's like a doll that I get to look at. I'm like a dog on a leash that's held just past where the hamburger is sitting and I'm not ever getting it; and if I do take a bite, I get beat with a fuckin' stick."

--Garrett J White

 

"I looked like a total bitch [while] you were off [doing your own thing] - you weren't with the kids, you weren't with me, and now you're this man of the year. But there were strings attached and no woman feels safe if there's fucking strings attached. You showed up but you still held this key of 'I'll show her.'  You promote me, you talk about me, you say I'm your Queen - so show me! Come over to my side and show me what you're preaching is true. If you believe in me, if you believe in my business, if you believe in my vision, then jump on board with me!"

.

--Danielle White

Feb 13, 2018
The Key to Communication | Date Your Wife | Ep 005
59:58

 


In This Week's Podcast....COMMUNICATION

Point #1: Communication in Marriage is the Glue Between Sex, Money, and Kids

  • Garrett and Danielle have not always been on the same page as a couple. For many years they each wondered if their marriage would survive the incessant fights and battles that had become the status quo and mode of communication in their relationship.
  • Danielle learned how to confront and listen to her feelings, communicate, stand up for herself and voice what she was feeling to match Garrett's strong personality. Garrett struggled with telling the truth and sharing what he was feeling because he felt unsafe in doing so with Danielle.

 

QUESTION: How do you and your spouse communicate with each other? Does it create a safe zone or a war zone?

 

Point #2: The Game of Collision

  • Danielle grew up in a non-communicating and non-hugging family, although she instinctively knew her parents loved her.  Garrett's family was very touchy-feely and were encouraged to speak openly and freely about what they were feeling and thinking. Hugs and 'I love you' were the norm. It was a downright hug fest.
  • Garrett wanted to share his 42 gallons of feelings with Danielle, but her tiny thimble couldn't hold that space for him. She wasn't taught how to communicate and was feeling overwhelmed, which caused her to unknowingly push him away to create breathing space for herself.

 

QUESTION: What types of communication styles did you and your spouse experience in your families? How has this affected the way you communicate in your marriage?

 

Point #3: Show Up and Pay Attention

  • While dating, Danielle and Garrett could talk for hours and hours. After marriage, the filters came off, the grind of daily life set in, and they eventually found themselves drifting into roommate status. There was no connection and no viable communication. His unspoken message that business came first rang out loud and clear to Danielle.
  • Garrett didn't spend a lot of time seducing Danielle, nor did he pay attention to the needs of his young bride of 20. He was in the work and grind mode which benefited them, yet in the process, he ignored her. He wanted to feel connected to Danielle through sex, touching, and talking - yet that was a complete turn off to her because of their lack of connection and how he wasn't showing up for her.

 

QUESTION: How do you show up for your spouse?

 

 

Point #4: What You Focus On, Expands

  • The loss of their spark, trust, and financial stability, coupled with the demise of their communication, created a very difficult environment for them as a couple. They graduated from not communicating at all, to all out fighting mode in every conversation. They wanted to spend time with other people, rather than with each other. Garrett was receiving emotional fulfillment by having conversations with his female clients and coworkers.
  • During this time in 2010, while pregnant with their second child, Danielle stopped looking to Garrett as the source of her happiness and breadwinner, and instead began looking within herself with new found courage to speak freely and to take on life - without him, if necessary - which resulted in the birth of her business. That was also the beginning of the turning point in their marriage.

 

QUESTION: Where do you put your energy and focus? How is it enhancing or detracting from your relationship?

 

Point #5: A Threesome Will Help You Keep Your Game On Point

  • Upon discovering their different Love Languages, Garrett learns he has been giving Danielle what he wants to receive, rather than what she wants and needs. Couples and individual therapy enabled them to get past the triggers and blowing up stage, while keeping them inside the fight and conversation.
  • Garrett shares that therapy and third party conversations are what saved their marriage. Danielle advises: Be real about your feelings during therapy - even if it means arguing in front of the therapist or spontaneously jumping up and doing burpees and push ups.

 

QUESTION: Are you giving your spouse what you want to receive, or are you giving them what they want and need?

 


Communication Challenge:

Begin discovering your love languages and take action on giving to your spouse what they want and need.

 


Date Night Topic:

Engage in the conversation with your spouse about starting therapy together.

 


Quote of the Week:

"The thing that saves our marriage more than anything, is Date Night. It's the simplest part of the form of the game in restoring communication, connection, passion, fashion, love, and everything else inside of marriage."

--Garrett J White

"A lot of time with the love languages, it’s not your love language, but you get to cross that boundary to get your own fucking love language met. I used to say, 'I don’t want to do this. It’s not me. It’s not how I was raised.' I learned quickly that if I want my needs met, I have to serve him - and vice-versa."

--Danielle White

 

http://dateyourwifenow.com 

Feb 06, 2018
Childrearing is a Sh*t Show! | Date Your Wife | Ep 004
51:55

 

In This Week's Podcast....PARENTING

Point #1: Understanding Parenting from Paper Routes, Serving Tables, and Spankings

  • The way in which we all parent is stemmed from our childhood experiences, shaping our approaches to parenting, where Danielle learned about taking care of others through serving tables briefly as a teen to Garrett wanting make money of his own so he found begin getting up early and doing a paper route.
  • When it came to discipline, Danielle was threatened but didn't experience a lot of follow through while Garrett would get spanked with a paddle.

 

QUESTION: What kind of discipline did you experience as a child? How has it shaped the kind of parenting you choose now?

 

Point #2: Choosing to Have Kids...Until We Pass Out

  • Danielle always wanted to have lots of kids and looks forward to creating that bond and unity with them, but Garrett has always been more of a baby lover, even though he passed out during the birth of their second child.
  • For him, parenting is something that he always looked forward to because it gave him a chance to raise children with his own parenting style and technique, helping them shape themselves through his stewardship.

 

QUESTION: Why did your parents have you? Why do you choose to have children?

 

Point #3: Navigating Dates Amongst the Chaos

  • There are elements within Garrett's life that only became defined after becoming a father, believing that having children with Danielle forced them to find each other.
  • They manage the chaos through regular date nights, which is also the whole reason behind the podcast getting formed, taking the time to find purpose within each other and not solely in the kids.

 

QUESTION: How do you navigate parenting and still remain connected as a couple?

 

Point #4: Purpose Beyond Children and Partner

  • We have to have a purpose beyond our spouse and children, then take it to the next level by remaining committed to each other  and then the kids, in that order.
  • Even though there's a sense of ownership in the form of controlling our kids, it comes down to paving the way for them through our own personal approach with life, but realizing that we don't own our kids and allow them to make their own choices.

 

QUESTION: What order are you putting yourself, your relationship with your spouse and the commitment you have with your children?

 

Point #5: No More Love to Be Found Requires Time Outs for Parents

  • For Danielle, she's continually trying to figure things out, and has found that she need to put herself in a time out to clear the guilt for losing her cool, reminding herself that she's the adult and everyone else needs to be separated to their own space.
  • For Garrett, he would rather go to battle to fight for love, and shares a text that he sent to his daughter after their latest battle, stating, "I love you no matter what." This is a Challenge for the rest of the week.

 

QUESTION: What do you do when you don't want to love your kids and be the parent anymore?

 


Parenting Challenge:

Begin stating, "I love you no matter what" with your spouse and especially your children, showing that you want to let them know that you love them regardless of the struggles and wins in their life; they are loved for being themselves.

 


Date Night Topic:

Plan Date Night and then tell your spouse what it is you planned, not being offended if they want to do something else.

 


Quote of the Week:

"There is a whole aspect of being a human being that we cannot find without having children of our own. Having children together forced us as a couple to actually find each other. We do this in the following order: 1) Take care of yourself, 2) Date your spouse, and 3) love on your kids to have strong relationships at home. The purpose of my role as a father is to teach and train my children how to take care of themselves and be a contributing member in society."

--Garrett J White

 

"We've got to pave a way for our children but that doesn't mean that we necessarily control everything that they do. I remember with our youngest daughter as she was gaining her own personality and independence being so worried that something was wrong with her, only to hear clearly a Voice within me state, 'She was never yours to lose.' After that, I realized that I can try to influence them, but to become a good parent it's more about not stressing out than trying to be in control of them."

--Danielle White

 

http://dateyourwifenow.com

Jan 30, 2018
Being Raised With & Without Money | Date Your Wife | Ep 003
59:16

 

In This Week's Podcast....MONEY

Point #1: Having Expensive Tastes In Which Money Matters

  • Money causes a ton of chaos within marriage, which will make or break the relationship, forcing you to deal with your spouse on a whole new level.
  • Danielle was raised by entrepreneurs that focused on having a home that was up to date and something to have pride in, while to Garrett having a lot of money was unattainable unless you were a doctor with a swimming pool in your backyard, like a kid he remembers from school.

 

QUESTION: What kind of background were you raised in that has effected the way in which you approach your outlook on money within marriage?

 

Point #2: The War of Spending Money

  • Danielle spent money because she wanted to experience life, but for Garrett, money was about spending money on business, which he still struggles with, as they throw each other under the bus in how they spend money.
  • According to Danielle is being a selective cheap bastard until her perspective of her role as a Stylist rather than a Hobbyist she was able to change.

 

QUESTION: If you could throw your spouse under the bus, what do you think they struggle with when it comes to spending money?

 

Point #3: ATMs and Porn Stars

  • Garrett felt like the only way he had value was if he made money, and therefore when he makes money Danielle should put out for sex any time he wants.
  • Women want to feel safe and secure, so it becomes hard to have sex with him when he's no longer attractive as the Producer, and the man in the relationship doesn't feel like he's providing value to the relationship because of this role as well, in which his balls get cut off mentally.

 

QUESTION: What does being a Producer do to bring out the sexual dynamic within marriage?

 

Point #4: Learning from What Didn't Work: The Cancun Contract

  • With the Cancun Contract, it was 3 for 3: 3 Gifts for 3 sex sessions which led to feeling more like they were purchasing prostitution in an attempt to give their marriage a shot at what would work for them based off of their own love languages for 3 weeks, learning that using money as a manipulator didn't work but ended to bigger breakthroughs later on.
  • Garrett learned to invest because he wanted his wife to be happy, looking at money as a tool, not an asset by shifting his wife towards being the asset, showing that Danielle matters to him.

 

QUESTION: Where can you invest in your spouse with no strings attached, investing in experiences with your spouse and family? Where do you still need to give yourself permission to receive without guilt?

 

Point #5: I Want You To Want To

  • Hold yourself to a higher standard in order to push your spouse to become more, believing in them more than they believe in themselves.
  • At one point, Garrett made the huge realization that sometimes the man is the ATM, and you need to be OK with it because it shows that she is worth the investment. Danielle is a producer on her own, but she wanted him to want to be a man in seeing the value in investing in her. Now, they have both surrendered and invested in each other.

 

QUESTION: How can a woman powerfully support and invest emotionally in her husband to encourage him to become a bigger producer?

 


Date Night Topic:

What improvements can be made in regards to the topic of money?

 


Quote of the Week:

"I was raised to feel that you could get whatever you wanted in life if you are willing to work, but no one was going to save you. I didn't know that I could want anything more than what I had. I learned that I needed to demonstrate in my marriage that my wife is worth spending money on and worth the investment."

--Garrett J White

 

"If you want to be treated like a Queen, you've got to treat your man like a King. Women need to own their part and let go of the guilt when your husband invests in you. Stop getting stuck in the stories that your man isn't fulfilling you, and realize that you may not be fulfilling his needs. If he's putting in effort, take the gifts he's giving you and see how it feels to then harmonize in fulfilling his needs."

--Danielle White

 

 

___________________________

 

 

http://dateyourwifenow.com 

 

Jan 23, 2018
Quickie, Quickie, Porn Star | Date Your Wife | Ep 002
50:53

In this Week's Episode....

Point #1: Middle Initials to Segue into the Background of Taboo Sex

  • Garrett and Danielle share their backstories behind sex, not having sex with each other until marriage due to a strict Christian religious background.
  • Regardless of the type of approach that both were taught, they found that they discovered sex together, creating a rhythm with each other, taking a very different approach with their own children.

 

QUESTION: Which parent should be having the talk with their children? Should it be gender specific?

 

Point #2: Surrendering to Tough Conversations About Sex in Marriage

  • Even after marriage, the topic of sex isn't always the easiest conversation to have, especially when approaching it from a male and female perspective, not understanding the reason behind why one partner wants or doesn't want sex.
  • There's a sense of entitlement that puts a tension in the relationship until there's a level of comfort to own your own shit and be more chilled out about what it is that you want, respecting the other's differing views at the same time.

 

QUESTION: Do you find it's hard to talk about sex with your spouse? Why?

 

Point #3: The Magical Formula

  • Garrett would go into pouty asshole mode to become standoffish after not having the entitlement of sex that he expects to come with marriage to also be felt by Danielle.
  • Her solution after a decade of rejection was that porn star sex is necessary every 3rd time they have sex, spending time to connect with each other on a deeper level without feeling like it has to happen every single time they wanted to connect.

 

QUESTION: What needs do you think your partner feels is necessary for you? What do you think their needs are?

 


Challenge of the Week:

Danielle's Tip for Women:

Find your magical formula in which everyone is happy.

Garrett's Tip for Men:

The story you're telling yourself about how your wife sees sex may be simply that: a story. You're going to have to change your story and investigate it to give you the tools that you need to have a better approach to get what you want.

 


Quote of the Day:

"Every couple has their formula to combat against the rejection factor that inevitably comes within marriage, and I could see that Garrett was putting in the effort the way that he knew how, which came to a willingness to go all in. If you have really good sex, they're not thinking about porn or another woman but they're thinking about YOU, putting their focus on having a good time."

--Danielle K White

 

http://dateyourwifenow.com 

Jan 16, 2018
Meet Garrett & Danielle | Date Your Wife | Ep 001
42:50

In Today's Podcast....

 

Point #1: Detailed Eyes

  • As we dive into the first inaugural episode of the Date Your Wife podcast with Garrett and Danielle White, the conversation instantly goes to the difference between men and women when looking at themselves.
  • The purpose of this podcast is to help people gain a better perspective on who they are as individuals and what they've gone through as a couple.
 

Point #2: Getting On the Same Page

  • Between struggles of sex, money and children, communication in general wasn't always where it is now.
  • They first met at a Mormon church function in Orem, Utah where the first impression for Danielle was of Garrett being super loud.
 

Point #3: The Person You Notice Later

  • Garrett had randomly showed up at Danielle's apartment after his cousin called dibs, dating for the following two years, breaking up around nine times before deciding to get married.
  • Both crazy attracted to the crazy within each other, they realized that they couldn't do life with out each other.
 

Point #4: Sex, Money and Kids

  • Waiting to have sex until marriage, having a very strict upbringing in the Mormon culture, it was always a hard topic to discuss, which is why it's the first topic that will be discussed in the upcoming episode.
  • Skipping right to the topic about childbearing, when it comes to pushing out a baby, it's the euphoria of accomplishing something extremely hard, and there's a lot of things in parenting that she's constantly beating herself up about.
 

Point #5: Guilty Parenting & Raised with as well as without Money

  • As a working mom, there's this continual guilt that comes from balancing the mom role with the career, there's an internal plugging in that moms have compared to dad.
  • Garrett was raised with a very different upbringing compared to how Danielle was raised economically, though both of them were raised with the mentality to work for the money they earn, in which Danielle saw beyond the upbringing and saw that Garrett had a gentleman's way about him.
 

Point #6: Sealing the Deal After Rebuilding from Pain

  • Communication was what became the strongest part of their marriage, which is what started their relationship to building up Danielle's hair industry so she could leave Garrett, considering a lot of options when life lacked the needed communication.
  • A large part of the show is about learning how to rebuild the relationship beyond the pain, wanting to bring strength to other couples based off of their own experiences within their own relationship, becoming a show that can be relatable to both men and women.
 
______________________________
 

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

"If you can build something for yourself, you will become ten times more powerful with your spouse. I had insights even when we were struggling that we were far better achieving success together than we could ever do alone." --Danielle K White
 
"One of the keys that Danielle and I found in bringing our relationship back to power, dating it what restored our relationship. We were not in a good place at all, knocking on the door of divorce until we decided to go on weekly date nights."
-Garrett J White

 

http://dateyourwifenow.com 

Jan 06, 2018