Recovering From Reality

By Dear Media

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Description

Hosted by mental health advocate and former reality television star Alexis Haines, Recovering from Reality illuminates the messy and magical path of coming home to yourself. Whether you’re on the road to recovery, seeking self-care techniques for surviving the capitalist machine, or just need a moment to remember that you’re not alone in your loneliness, we’re serving up the ultimate truth: your trauma doesn’t define you - your decision to deal with it does. Razor sharp, modern, and culturally resonant, Alexis delivers intimate conversations and expert insights to empower you on the road to authentic wellness. Are you ready to recover from reality? Produced by Dear Media.

Episode Date
The Age of Anxiety
47:18

Michele Kambolis is coming on the podcast today to talk about anxiety. Why are women more prone to anxiety? What is an anxiety disorder and what is “normal” anxiety? What are some simple actions that we can take to reduce the anxiety in our lives? Michele is answering it all. 

Produced by Dear Media

Nov 18, 2019
Recovering From Reality - Trailer
01:42
Nov 11, 2019
Ep. 43 From Meme to Marvelous With Rebecca Black
50:00

In this week’s episode, I have the lovely Rebecca Black joining me for some real candid conversation. We talk about her rise to fame from her viral music video, “Friday”, reinventing herself as a singer and artist, and finding her way out in Los Angeles at just 18 years old. Rebecca may still be young (22 now), but she is surely an old soul, and I relate to her on so many levels. I appreciate how much work she’s done on herself, and how she uses her growth to help other young people watching her YouTube channel.

 

Produced by Dear Media

Nov 11, 2019
Ep. 42 73 Questions
26:31

This week, we have my comedian of a sister, Gabby, joining us!  She is asking me 73 questions in that stream of consciousness style everyone’s doing right now.  Except, we don’t play by those rules.  Gabby and I put our own spin on this fun game. I definitely wanted a funny episode to break up the serious stuff we discuss on Recovering From Reality, so I hope you guys laugh along with us.  

Some of my favorite questions ranged from my who I find more annoying, Gabby or our mom, my dream person (besides Evan, duh), and the craziest place I’ve ever had sex.  We also learned which Kardashian Gabby thinks I am, which is so not Kim guys. Everyone knows I’m Kendall or Kourtney! 

 

Nov 04, 2019
Ep. 41 Turning Pain into Comedy with Ali Weiss
54:53

In this week’s episode, I have comedian and seriously funny lady, Ali Weiss joining me.  Ali creates videos on Instagram that are truly hysterical, and after seeing her Kim Kardashian parody video, I knew I had to have her on the podcast!  We discuss how she started theater and comedy, her mental health journey, and the highs and lows of life in the digital age.

Oct 28, 2019
Ep. 40 Unshakable Faith with Dr. James Mellon
49:27

In this week’s episode, I am joined by the wonderful Dr. James Mellon.  Dr. James is a minister at the Global Truth Center in LA, which follows Ernest Holmes philosophy, Science of the Mind. No this is not scientology. It's the philosophy that brought you The Secret! In this episode, we touch on our core beliefs like eternal life, universal truth, and the collective consciousness.  Dr. James explains the power our minds have in affirming and manifesting our own goals, health, and dreams. In religious science, we believe that God is the energy all around us, that it is in everything, including us.  

Oct 21, 2019
Ep. 39 Becoming the Head of the Pack w/ Zach Skow from the Pawsitive Change Program
01:05:59

In this week’s episode, I am sitting down with Zach Skow, the founder of the Pawsitive Change Program.  Pawsitive Change is a non-profit that runs in the California prison system, and brings rescue dogs into the prison population.  Zach and other trainers help inmates become dog trainers themselves. This is an incredible program, and helps bring hope and healing to not only those incarcerated, but to the dogs being rescued.  I hope you guys enjoy listening to Zach’s story of redemption, and how Pawsitive Change came to be.  

Oct 14, 2019
Ep. 38 Getting Inappropriate W/ Heather Mcdonald
01:03:04

This week I have the witty and truly hilarious Heather McDonald joining us.  Heather is a comedian and the host of a podcast called Juicy Scoop.  In this episode, we discuss being a comedian in an easily “triggered” culture, her background and upbringing with wild brothers, and her time working with Chelsea Handler.  We also discuss the importance of having open conversations with our kids, especially around tough topics like drug abuse. Heather shares some pretty funny stories with us throughout the show, and she definitely had me laughing.  I hope you guys enjoy!

Oct 07, 2019
Ep. 37 Let's Talk About Sex w/ Jamie Elizabeth the Holistic Sex Coach
51:36

Joining me for this week’s episode is the lovely Jamie Elizabeth!  Jamie is a holistic sex and intimacy coach. She helps people in all areas of communication that are intimate and sensitive, so people can be fully met and seen.  In her sessions with clients, she helps people discover what they really want out of their sex lives, and owning their sexuality. Jamie gives us some great tips this episode, from scheduling conversations about sex, sex dates, skin time, and drop-ins.  She also gives us three approaches to have these uncomfortable conversations, through vulnerability, responsibility, and curiosity.

Sep 30, 2019
Ep. 36 Exploring cannabinoids and the effects of micro-dosing w/ Joseph Sheehey and Lo Bondi
47:39

In this Episode I am sitting down with Joseph Sheehey, founder and CEO of Cured Nutrition, and his girlfriend, Lo Bondi. Joseph comes on the podcast to talk about how his attempted suicide turned his life and focus towards starting up a company that uses cannabinoids to help people heal. Lo is also in recovery for an eating disorder. Together, they explore the benefits of using plant medicine as a way to heal. 

Sep 27, 2019
Ep. 35 Not All Heroes Wear Capes w/ Bree Olson
55:25

In this week’s episode, I had the honor of interviewing the amazing Bree Olson. You may remember Bree from being one of Charlie Sheen's "goddesses" during the time period where he was publicly dealing with many troubles. She got wrapped up even more when it turned out that he was HIV positive and she had no idea. Bree is a powerful woman and her story is one of survival. We discuss her early childhood trauma, her time in juvenile detention and how she entered the porn industry. 

Sep 23, 2019
Ep.34 Repairing Your Marriage w/ Adam and Danielle from Marriage and Martinis
48:11

In this episode, I sat down with Danielle and Adam of the Marriage and Martinis podcast.  I wanted to have them on because marriage can often be messy, with lots of highs and lows, and people are rarely talking about it.  However, these two are so authentic and real about their experience. It’s truly refreshing to hear! I hope you guys enjoy our dialogue about marriage, mental illness, loss, and much more.  

Sep 20, 2019
Ep. 33 Call-In Show W/ Sarah Nicole Landry (The Birds Papaya)
43:11

Today, I am sitting down with Sarah Nicole from @thebirdspapaya to do another call-in show! I love that these episodes allow us to connect in a deeper way, because sometimes social media isn’t enough.  Our questions ranged from topics like accepting our past, re-branding mental health, staying authentic, and finding the balance in body positivity. We also answer some questions relating to addictions, eating disorders, and dealing with divorce and separation. Keep in mind we are totally not professionals in any of these areas!  We are simply speaking from experience, and hope you will relate to our stories.

Sep 16, 2019
Ep. 32 Being In a VICE Documentary Changed My Life w/ Kevin
48:45

Kevin started using drugs at 12 years-old, and when we met at 15, we started using together.  Because we each had so much family chaos and trauma, we truly relied on each other to get by.  Our relationship involved drugs, cheating, abortion, violence, and pure chaos. It was toxic. We eventually parted ways and I got sober. Two years later while I was working for VICE, I got a call that Kevin needed help. We ended up doing a mini doc on him and it now has over 1.2 million downloads on YouTube. Now, six years later were catching up with Kevin. 

Sep 13, 2019
Ep.31 Overcoming Depression Without Drugs
37:12

What happens when you have depression, but don't respond to drugs? What if the side effects are intolerable? What if they actually make your depression worse? 

That was my experience. For the last 6 years I have battled with depression and I have finally won.  

In todays episode I am diving into my personal experience with depression and anxiety. I am sharing the steps that I took that made a remarkable difference in my mental health and healed my depression. And also sharing my experience with TMS.

Sep 09, 2019
Ep.30 Call-In Show With Dr. Judy Ho
34:01

I am sitting down with Dr. Judy Ho to answer you questions in a LIVE podcast episode.

Dr. Judy is a Licensed and triple board certified Clinical and Forensicand Neuropsychologist, with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and extensive experience working with clients of all ages, facing a variety of challenges and issues.

She regularly appears on the hit day time talkshow The Doctors!

Dr. Judy is the author of Stop Self-Sabotage, which details a six-step program for getting out of your own way and reaching your most-desired goals in love, work, health, and all aspects of life. 

 

Sep 06, 2019
Ep. 29 Psychic Vibes With Heather Auble
47:00

In this episode, I am joined by spiritual healer and overall beautiful human, Heather Auble!  We get into Heather’s experience as a psychic, and how she learned to harness these abilities.  She also teaches me how to protect my own energy, and different rituals I can use to refresh from a total energy overload.  

Plus, she gives me a profound reading at the end, so you’ll want to stick around for that.  This episode was truly all over the place! Heather and I’s energies were so wild together, but I absolutely loved it, and I hope you guys do too. 

Sep 02, 2019
Ep. 28 The Dark Side of Teen Behavioral Modification Programs with Sydney Montana
53:49

At 15 years old,  Sydney was sent to a behavior modification program for troubled teens. This program was traumatizing, and caused her a great deal of pain.  Her and I discuss being an addict in rehab at 13, why she was sent to this program, and how she is doing today, 10 years later. Sydney’s growth and recovery is incredibly inspiring to me, and my heart hurts for all children that suffered these reform “school” experiences.  

Aug 27, 2019
Ep. 27 Bridging the Cultural Divide
47:13

In this week’s episode, I hop on a call with Triana Browne!  Triana competes in pageant circuits, and was crowned Miss Oklahoma 2017, Miss America 2018, and Miss USA runner up.  She is also a college graduate with a degree in Human Development and Family Sciences, and a Division 1 athlete.  Seriously, what can’t this girl do!  

I chat with Triana about being multiracial and embracing her race despite adversity in society, school, and the pageant industry. Triana is half African American and half Native American, and works hard to give Native Americans recognition. She speaks up for Native rights and gives her people the support they deserve.  

Aug 20, 2019
Ep. 26 Call In Show With Bob Forrest
35:53

This episode is a bit different because we are doing a call-in show with my friend Bob Forrest!  If you haven’t heard my previous episode with Bob, the co-founder of Alo House Recovery Center, be sure to check that out next.  

 

So, we gave out a number and had you guys phone in with all your questions regarding sobriety, addiction, codependency, recovery, and my supposed debt to Orlando Bloom. It gets real on this episode, so I hope you enjoy!  I look forward to more connection with you guys in the future. It is really great to connect and interact beyond Instagram comments and DMs.    

 

Some stand-out questions were: 

 

  • Our opinion on needle exchange systems and clean injection sites
  • How to recover from being a “weekend warrior”
  • Enabling and its destructive outcomes
  • Finding mental health care and support in difficult financial circumstances 
  • Overcoming insecurity and anxiety

 

And that just scratches the surface.  We get deep into each topic, and Bob offered some stellar advice.  Many questions were about being a loved one to an addict. My heart truly goes out to those in this situation.  I see your pain, and I believe acknowledging your own pain is really important to the healing process. You can’t bring negative energy and shame to your loved one, and you definitely can’t force them to recover.  But you can heal yourself first.  

 

We are all on this earth to process something on a spiritual level.  Sometimes, addiction and healing are part of this process. Don’t let negative feelings and energy have power over you.  Reach out and get help, no matter the scale. Just start with the next indicative action, and take baby steps from there.  

 

Hearing my listeners’ stories is why I do this work.  All I do is for the collective. And the message I share is that you can recover, despite the trauma and pain.  Trust me, you can do this thing.   

 

If I can make a living amends, pay off my court fees 8 years later, and thank Orlando Bloom for kind of saving my life, then you can recover too!  You’ll just have to listen to the episode to understand!

 

#ANDSOITIS

 

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com 

 

Resources we discussed in this episode: 

Aug 16, 2019
Ep. 25 Wake Up B*itch It’s 2019 w/ Laganja Estranja
01:09:31

In this week’s episode, I’m having a conversation with the most iconic of queens, Langanja Estranja!  If you haven’t heard of Langanja, seriously, where have you been?! She is a talented drag queen who was on Season Six of RuPaul’s Drag Race, was recently on So You Think You Can Dance, has a huge Instagram following, is a dancer and choreographer, and is overall just fabulous.  In this episode, we talk about her upbringing, how her drag queen name and character were formed, and her journey after filming Drag Race.  We also get into some hot topics regarding sexism, gender, healing, and more.  

Aug 13, 2019
Ep. 24 Nancy Jo, Your Bias is Showing
31:25

In this episode I’m owning my story. Last week over Twitter I (half jokingly) invited Nancy Jo onto the podcast. Well… not only did she decline the invitation, but we got into it over Instagram DMs.  And let me tell you, shade was thrown guys!  

Aug 06, 2019
Ep. 23 The Journey to Motherhood Matters w/ Ali Levine
53:12

In this episode, I chat with my good friend and fellow mama, Ali Levine.  Ali is truly such a light in my life, so I’m excited to share her with you all!  She is the host of two podcasts, Things We Are Too Lazy to Blog About and Striptd Down with Ali Levine She is also a stylist and personality on Bravo’s TV show, Stripped.  Now, she has struck a balance between work life and mama life, which is so inspiring to me.  

Ali and I’s friendship really blossomed when she asked me to be her doula.  Her birth experience is definitely one I’ll never forget! We share all the details here, from the birthing center, to the hospital, and once her baby was born.  We also talk about misconceptions toward pregnancy and motherhood. It’s not always this beautiful, magical time we see in the movies. Ali describes her struggle with postpartum depression and feeling like a “failure” as a mom.  No one can fully prepare you for these challenges, so it’s nice to have mom friends to lean on.

Episode highlights: 

  • Symptoms with pregnancy

  • Castor oil to induce labor

  • The difference between a birth plan vs. birth preferences

  • Doulas and midwives

  • Family boundaries during birth and early motherhood

  • Nursing and lactation consultants

  • How to navigate postpartum depression: therapy, meditation, mindfulness, and social media breaks

 

Jul 30, 2019
Ep. 22 Literally Pretty Wild w/ Dan Levy
48:50

“You’re literally pretty wild if you’re going on a reality show.”  

In this episode, I’m joined by Dan Levy to discuss my experience with reality TV.  Dan is a comedian, writer, and producer and one of the creators of Pretty Wild. He was just ballsy enough to take on the project, and to work with a family as crazy as mine! Dan and I talk all about Pretty Wild behind-the-scenes, what he thought of the show and working with us, and what Dan is creating in the present day.  A lot has changed in both of our lives since filming, so it was cool to share who we are today. Living as a happy, sober person is a side Dan never saw from me, and I’m grateful we got to talk about it.  Dan is also an incredibly funny and talented guy, so I know you all will enjoy hearing his take on life. 

I was definitely living a double life while filming Pretty Wild.  On camera, Tess and I were just these little party girls, but in reality, we had debilitating addictions. We were a chaotic bunch, but that’s what made the show a pop culture phenomenon. I’m now so far removed from that Alexis, and truly believe going to jail was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Here are some episode highlights: 

  • Dan’s career prior to Pretty Wild
  • The difference between working on sitcoms and reality TV
  • Tess and I: then vs. now
  • How Bustle named me “most meme-able person of all time”
  • Dan’s time producing on The Goldbergs
  • Dan’s new show called Indebted, coming to NBC around Christmas time

So sure, my life may not be reality TV-worthy anymore, but it’s crazy and exciting in new and special ways. Just a little less wild.  

Where to find Dan’s work: 

IMDb: Dan Levy

Instagram: @danlevyshow

 

If you or someone you love needs help please visit alorecovery.com  

 

Jul 22, 2019
Ep. 21 Heavily Influenced w/ Josi Pellicano
43:06

“It’s important to use our platforms as a way to connect with others and to be able to share.”

In this episode, I sit down with my childhood friend and true inspiration, Josi Pellicano!  I met Josi in middle school, and have always admired how resilient she is. She has a really interesting story to share that I know you guys will learn a lot from her strength. We talk about her dad’s incarceration for most of Josi’s life, her shifting family dynamic now that he’s out, and how she has adapted to all this trauma and adversity. Josi also shares her experience getting her Master’s degree, and how that guided her to where she is today. 

Shoutout to one of my favorite sponsors Cured Nutrition CBT capsules and tinctures. This episode is brought to you by Cured Nutrition, a wholistic supplement company based in Boulder, Colorado. If you’re in tune with the wellness industry, I’m sure you’ve noticed how selecting the right CBD products can get confusing. Cured Nutrition has made it easy. In addition to their 100% locally-sourced Colorado hemp extracts, Cured also guarantees a rigorous quality control system.
Fully aligned with complete transparency, they’ve even published the details directly onto their website: https://www.curednutrition.com/ www.curednutrition.com. You guys are going to love this brand. Use code ALEXIS25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase!

I love that Josi is using her platform to open up about this story.  When a family member goes to prison, the entire family goes along too. Josie is creating a safe space to discuss this issue and reminding us to embrace when we’re not okay and talk about our shame.  The tough times shouldn't be kept a secret. 

Here are some more points we covered: 

  • Shifting family dynamics and how we cope 
  • How our families were different from the “norm” in our cushy California neighborhood.
  • Josi’s current relationship with her father.
  • US mass incarceration rates.
  • Shame culture and why it needs to change!

To keep up with Josi and her killer Instagram feed, follow her @averagejoblog

#ANDSOITIS


If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

Jul 18, 2019
Ep. 20 The Drama Stops With Me - Recovering From Reality
51:51

In today’s episode, I spend some precious time with my spiritual mentor and reiki master, Ute Fleishman. A few episodes back, I talked about my profound reiki experience, and that all happened in a session with Ute! She has had such an impact on my life and spiritual journey, so I am very grateful to have her on the podcast, sharing with us. We talk about how Ute started energy work and how reiki has completely transformed both of our lives. We also give you guys some tips and tricks to help you move from an existence of pain to one of peace.

Read more about this episode on the blog!

Connect w/ Alexis here

Connect w/ Ute here

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

#ANDSOITIS

 

Jul 15, 2019
Ep. 19 And So It Is w/ Andrea Arlington - Recovering From Reality
55:12

In this episode, we are sitting down with Alexis’ mom, Andrea Arlington to talk all things early childhood, manifestation, and family recovery.  Alexis asks Andrea some juicy questions, and she dishes on dating as a single parent, if she regrets Pretty Wild, and what her spiritual practice/recovery looks like today.  They also serve some hard truths about family dynamics. So if you’ve ever wondered what Alexis was like as a child and in early recovery, this is the episode for you!

Read more about this episode on our blog

Connect w/ Alexis here

Connect w/ Andrea here or her website: Families United for Recovery

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

#ANDSOITIS

Jul 08, 2019
Ep. 18 Reasons To Stay Vigilant w/ Molly Jong-Fast - Recovering From Reality
01:10:09

With the 2020 election right around the corner, it’s time to start getting informed! We get political on today’s podcast with Alexis, Evan, and author, Molly Jong-Fast. Molly is an author of two novels, Normal Girl and The Social Climber’s Handbook and has a fantastic Twitter feed that makes you wonder if she ever sleeps. Today, we discuss everything scarily wrong with our political climate, from “Trumpism”, to looming racism/sexism, to climate change and of course, how we look after our collective mental health.

Read more about this episode on our blog!

Connect w/ Alexis here

Connect w/ Molly here

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

#ANDSOITIS

Jul 01, 2019
Ep. 17 Honey, You Gotta Do The Work - Q+A w/ Alexis - Recovering From Reality
42:05

For this week's episode, Alexis is solo and does a little Q&A for you guys! Alexis addresses questions from our listeners and covers topics like; surgery, shame, relapse, tattoos, spirituality, adventures with Tess, porn, and The Bling Ring—just to name a few. Read more about this episode on our blog!

Connect w/ Alexis here

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

#ANDSOITIS

Jun 24, 2019
Ep. 16 The Intersections of Feminism w/ Lauren Sundstrom - Recovering From Reality
55:06

We have the lovely and inspiring Lauren Sundstrom on the podcast this week. Lauren is a proud trans woman and advocates for the LGBTQ community. She shares her story and insight with us, and we are so grateful to have her on! All women, trans and cis, deserve to speak up about their rights. Lauren’s strength and activism is amazing. People can relate and learn from her story and knowledge.

Read more about this episode on our blog

Connect w/ Alexis here

Connect w/ Lauren Sundstrom here

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

#ANDSOITIS

Jun 17, 2019
Ep. 15 Let Food Be Thy Medicine and Medicine Be Thy Food with Vanessa Fitzgerald - Recovering From Reality
41:46

Our special guest on this week’s episode is Vanessa Fitzgerald! Vanessa is an amazing holistic health coach who helps people become their best selves. She joins us to talk about her practice, and some health/lifestyle tips to clean up our guts and minds. Her Instagram feed shares gut health info and clean eating tips, but what really drew Alexis in was her Adderall detox. Her open discussion and work detoxing clients is inspiring. So stay tuned!

Read more about this episode on our blog

 

Connect w/ Alexis here

If you are interested in contacting Vanessa for a session, go to veeshoney.com or email her at info@veeshoney.com. She offers phone sessions as well!

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

#ANDSOITIS

Jun 10, 2019
Ep. 14 Celebrating Body Diversity with Sarah Landry (The Birds Papaya) - Recovering From Reality
01:06:20

In this episode, we have the lovely Sarah Landry joining us from The Bird’s Papaya! Sarah is all about body confidence & loving yourself on & offline. We sit down to talk about her journey, the dangers of diet culture, & how we can benefit from body neutrality. Sarah believes creating awareness is key. Thank goodness for recovery, body confidence, & for Sarah’s amazing work! We are all worthy of the self-love message she is spreading. Read more about this episode on our blog. 

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

#ANDSOITIS

Connect w/ Alexis here

Connect w/ Sarah Landry here

Jun 03, 2019
Ep. 13 Birth, Babies and Circumcision with Robyn Pool from PUSH Midwifery - Recovering From Reality
01:03:24

Given the current events taking place in the Unites States, individual states stripping away a woman’s right to make her own reproductive health care choices, we felt the need to address this topic. Abortion access is a human right period. This is an issue that effects 1/4 women, across party lines and religious affiliations. Alexis opens this episode with her perspective. Later we dive into reproductive health care with Robyn Pool, a licensed midwife here in the Los Angeles area. We discuss an array of topics such as VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), circumcision, body autonomy, informed consent and much more. At the end we’re wrapping this episode with a little something new, so stick around and we hope you enjoy it.

Read more about this episode on our blog

Important links: PUSH MidwiferyICAN (International Children Assistance Network, Hospital Cesarean Rates, Yellow Hammer Fund, Planned Parenthood, Leap Frog Group - Compare HospitalsACLU (American Civil Liberties Union),

Connect w/ Alexis here

Connect w/ Robyn Pool here

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

#ANDSOITIS

May 27, 2019
Ep. 12 You Do You, I'm Gonna Do Me w/ Lauryn Evarts Bosstick - Recovering From Reality
41:11

This week’s episode features special guest Lauryn Evarts Bosstick from The Skinny Confidential.  She joins us to talk about her goals with her brand, being her authentic self, and dealing with a family member’s addiction.

The Skinny Confidential has become a multi-platform brand full of blog posts, social media content, podcast episodes, and even YouTube videos.  From wellness, to business tips, to life advice, Lauryn has it all covered. Talk about total lady boss!

Lauryn’s goal is to stay as authentic as possible with her followers and show them that it’s okay to have a balance of health and fun.  Or as she calls it, “holding kale in one hand and champagne in the other.” Hilarious!

Having this balance between healthy living and doing whatever the F you want is really important, especially in our age of social media. Lauryn has no shame in sharing her experience getting plastic surgery, while still sharing the message of health and self-love.

We need to be more accepting of those choosing to enhance their appearance. There is no shame in the botox game! Just remember not to compare yourself to others no matter your body type.

You do you, and don’t care about what others think.

This mantra has even helped Lauryn get through pushback she’s had online.  She is a self-proclaimed over-sharer (perfect influencer personality!), and totally accepts hat not everyone is going to be on board with her and her journey. #ANDSOITIS

Not only does Lauryn stay true to her authentic self, she also wants her followers to be informed, which is why she brings incredible experts onto her podcast. (Seriously, listen to this episode with Khalil Rafati owner of Sun Life Organics) This brings the perfect mix between authenticity and relying on authoritative perspective to her audience.

“You have to be your own guru.”  Lauryn always tells her audience to go out and do research on their own.  If you are unsure about something, gain knowledge and form your own opinion.  Don’t just blindly follow everyone else.

This is what makes The Skinny Confidential’s brand so relatable and popular.  Authenticity is really important to followers nowadays.  We are stepping away from that perfectly curated feed, and leaning toward a more realistic image.

We want the in-between scenes, not just the highlight reel, of an influencer’s life.  Sharing your struggles and being real is highly valued.

Lauryn has helped pave the way, and has done so by sharing her story on her podcast.  A big part of her journey was handling her sister’s addictions and recovery. As a family member of an addict, she found it really difficult to relinquish control and allow growth to occur naturally.

“It’s hard to watch someone you love and care about kill themselves in front of you and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

The best thing you can do is stop trying to control your loved one’s situation, and allow them to see reality and the bottom for themselves.  Her family’s experience has given her a lot of empathy for family members of addicts, even for her own parents. Once her family broke that cycle of co-dependence, things started to look up.

There are plenty of ways you can support a family member going through recovery.  One way is to join a support group yourself, so you can gain some perspective. You can join groups like Families United for Recovery, which was started by Alexis’ mom.  Or you can go to free groups hosted by recovery centers, like the weekly groups at Alo.

Remember: recovery is not linear.  There will always be highs and many lows, so as long as you stay in tune with your loved one’s journey and come from a place of love and respect, healing will take place.

Speaking of love, there is an aspect of love that tends to go unnoticed for many women, especially moms.  And that is self-love! We need to find ways to wind down after a hard day, that doesn’t necessarily involve opening a bottle of wine.

Alexis explains a few ways she winds down, this includes spending time with her daughters, long showers, body scrubs, essential oils, and acknowledging her feelings, instead of suppressing them. Learning to talk yourself in a way that is nourishing can be more beneficial than you think.

Lauryn loves to practice grounding/earthing, whether that is sticking your toes in the sand at the beach, or walking barefoot on the grass. Getting in touch with nature is a great way to unwind.

From eucalyptus leaves to salt lamps, Lauryn is a wealth of information when it comes to self-care! And this is only a fraction of what you can find on her blog.

Lastly, we can’t talk about self-care without addressing our love/hate relationship with social media.  It can be hard to disconnect, especially when you are trying to build a brand that requires a lot of content and engagement.  Just thinking about all we “should” be and do puts a weight on our shoulders, and leaves an open door for anxiety and depression to enter.

As someone who produces lots of content each day, Lauryn knows that a healthy balance is important to keeping your sanity.  She tries to put more energy into creating content than consuming content. And when she does, she is careful about who and what she is looking at.  If we are feeding ourselves with negativity from certain accounts, we need to take a step back. Instead, we can start following people that make us do and feel better.

Try limiting your scrolling time on Instagram and narrowing down the stories you watch to about 5 accounts, some of her favorite business accounts being Ed Mylett and Gary Vaynerchuk.  She also recently spoke to the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, and his biggest advice was becoming more disciplined about the type of content you are consuming online.  

This way, if certain accounts are making you depressed, just unfollow. We’ve all been there and could use a good cleanse once in a while!

Ultimately, learning to be your own guru, finding what works for you, and living as your authentic self is going to bring you joy.  If you want more info on how to reach these goals, check out Lauryn’s podcast, The Skinny Confidential, and stay tuned for a special round table episode she has in store!  

#ANDSOITIS

If you or someone you love needs help, visit Alo House Recovery.

May 20, 2019
Ep. 11 Sober Kindred Souls w/ Arielle Lorre - Recovering From Reality
34:44

In this week’s episode, we have the lovely Arielle Lorre on to chat about her journey to sobriety, spirituality, and her new podcast, Over the Influence!

Arielle is a blogger and health and fitness guru that spends time posting delicious recipes, fitness tips, and curating her beautiful Instagram account. We are seriously jealous of her aesthetic! But what some people might not know about Arielle is that she is sober, and uses her recovery journey to help others.

Much like Alexis and Evan, Arielle and her husband met in recovery, and have a significant age gap between them. Part of recovery is joining a community of people from all different walks of life and age ranges. So instead of seeing someone’s age, we just the amazing, strong person and the struggles they’ve been through. Likewise, Arielle just sees the man that she loves, and not a number.

If you know your truth and rise above the judgment of others, you will never care what people think of age difference in a relationship. 

This shared understanding among people that are sober is not just for spouses, but for everyone.

“You can go anywhere in the world and walk into a room of sober people and not know them and still have that bond. We are all kindred souls and have this shared camaraderie.” 

There are also no age limits in the recovery world, which is why recovered people have friends of all ages. Everyone is on the same journey of healing and growth.

As far as Arielle’s backstory goes, she does not have the “conventional” traumatic history that most addicts do. She lived a relatively stable life growing up, and didn’t have much trauma. It wasn’t until she began drinking alcohol at age 17 that everything changed. 

For the first time in her life, Arielle felt at ease. She realized that up until her first drink, she had felt nothing but unease her entire life.  

Once she knew the feeling of relief, there was no turning back. She began partying and using cocaine, and at age 19, was sent to her first recovery program at an outpatient center. 

For 10 years, Arielle was in and out of treatment, swinging back and forth between recovery and relapse. It wasn’t until a completely traumatic experience that she finally chose to gain control of her life. 

She was living in California at the time, and remembered her parents flying in to host an intervention. At this point she was abusing alcohol, cocaine, Xanax, and Adderall. Seizures from overuse would completely overtake her body, and she was once found unresponsive in her apartment by the police and rushed the hospital.

Arielle knew she needed to surrender, but the idea of facing life sober seemed too overwhelming.

This is a common experience for those in recovery. For so long, you are used to numbing out any emotion with the high of a substance. Without anything to fall back on, you are left to feel those raw emotions. And it is so hard. 

Unfortunately, there is no way to wean into life. But Arielle truly believes that her community of support is what got her through to the other side. Then, you must surrender to the process of healing and be humbled by it.

We have to be strong enough to admit that we don’t know everything, and that we must re-learn how to live life.

Learning to be okay with suffering is difficult, but that is where a spiritual foundation can be a real game changer. We can choose to believe in something greater than us, and rely on that to guide us through life. It is then our connection to something bigger that keeps us going. 

“With faith, it makes the waves of life less turbulent. Life becomes calmer.”

All the joy, suffering, and pain that we feel on this earth are the essence of life. Without the pain and suffering, we can’t experience the pure joy.

Like the voice that called Arielle said, “There is something beautiful on the other side of this.” We need to hold out hope and remember the lessons we’ve learned from our painful experiences. 

These principles are what Arielle is communicating on her new podcast. The community she’s cultivated with Over the Influence is really important, and she believes it is a true part of recovery.

Her online presence has allowed her to be open about her struggles, and help those that are struggling as well. She calls on her experiences with sobriety and health to create her amazing content and change people’s lives.

With a world that places a lot of value on numbers, we need to ask ourselves what really matters to the followers, and that is community. Even though engagement in the comment section might be low, there are a ton of DMs waiting to be answered, where people want to have a real connection.

Social media can be a great tool for fostering genuine connection between like-minded souls. Then, our relationships blossom into something empowering and real.

To wrap up and end on a light note, Alexis and Arielle play a fun game of Would You Rather. Because let’s be real…who wouldn’t love to choose between sex with Jason Bateman or a complete unattractive stranger?! You’ll just have to listen to find out!

#ANDSOITIS

If you or someone you love needs help, please go to alorecovery.com

May 13, 2019
Ep. 10 Living Anonymously with Dave from Dopey - Recovering From Reality
36:14

In this week’s episode of Recovering from Reality, we get to hear from Dave, the host of the Dopey podcast. Dave and Alexis talk about his recovery journey, if AA is still “anonymous”, and what Dopey is all about. Dave is an awesome guy that has a way of turning the darkest experiences into the funniest stories.   His show Dopey is the perfect mix of discussion and debauchery, and has become one of the best recovery podcasts out there. At least we think so! I mean, he had Jaime Lee Curtis as a guest, how much better can you get? Recently, the show’s shift from silly to serious came with Chris’ tragic death. Dave has had to find a happy medium between laughter and mourning the loss of his friend. But it’s this vulnerability about his struggles that resonates with listeners the most. Back in the early days of Dave’s AA experience, he found himself shying away from the identity of “former addict”. There is still such a stigma around addiction, that he knew it would be hard to find work if he came out about it. This stigma is one that ordinary people face every day. And it is where the “anonymous” in Alcoholics Anonymous comes into play. Anonymity helps protect the people that are trying to get their lives back on track. Yet unfortunately as a public figure, Alexis didn’t have much of a choice in this department. She was recovering in the public eye, and everyone watched her struggle. Now after much growth, Alexis embraces her sobriety and her ability to speak out. She is out and proud about sobriety! And without people like her and Dave, the stigma will never end. Dave had a slightly different experience with anonymity. He attributes the program to his sobriety now, and took his anonymity very seriously in the beginning. An old sponsor told him that if he opened up and then relapsed while recording Dopey, he would be giving the 12-step fellowship a bad name. An old boss of his even said, “Once a junkie, always a junkie.” Sure, Dave was afraid of relapse and the risk of coming out about his issue, but after Chris’ death, he truly realized being vulnerable is really important to helping others. Chris was someone who knew all too well how important sobriety is, yet he couldn’t defeat his demons. He was 4 years sober when he relapsed, and died quickly after. Dave was in shock, and soon began to realize that not everyone recovers. This is what motivated him to continue with Dopey. The message of death is the strongest he could send to his listeners. And fighting through the mourning and grief and coming out with joy on the other side is truly inspirational. Remember, Alcoholics Anonymous is not the only method of healing. While AA helped Alexis in early recovery, she discovered her spiritual practice and holistic approach to be most helpful. But both Dave and Alexis agree that whatever works for you is what’s most important. Now that the whole world knows their story, Dave and Alexis have to share it with those most important to them: their children. While Dave’s 9-year old is too young to know all the details, she does know that her dad is sober and that he goes to meetings. Likewise, Alexis’ 6-year old daughter knows that her mom and dad don’t drink and they help other people stop drinking at Alo Recovery Center. Keeping things light and matter of fact with children is key. When Dave got clean, he realized he was doing the best he could do on drugs for 41 years. Now, he wants to see what his best is without them, in the next chapter of his life. If it weren’t for his desire to be a good father, he wouldn’t have gotten clean. He knew getting sober was the only way. Finally, Dave appreciates the adventure of sober living. He sincerely enjoys his life, and showing his genuine self to the world. “We spend so much time here on earth, frustrated about the highs and lows of living and expect life to be a certain way. But if everything was on a straight path, wouldn’t it be so boring?” It would feel more like death than life. “If you were happy all the time, there would be no happiness. Because you can’t compare the feeling to anything else.” We have to feel the lows to know the highs, and being sober allows you to check in with those emotions instead of check out from them. Instead of just living “bleh” life on drugs, you can live a beautiful life full of all the feels! With Dopey, Dave uses his voice to help others, because so many people helped him along the way. He spreads the message that if you are addicted to something, there IS joy on the other side.

…And that looking back and laughing at our old, crazy selves can bring the greatest healing of all!

#ANDSOITIS

If you or someone you love needs help, please go to alorecovery.com

 

May 06, 2019
Ep. 8 We Met in AA - Recovering From Reality
22:47

Romantic relationships in sobriety get a pretty bad wrap, so on this episode of Recovering from Reality, I sit down with my husband (and best friend) Evan Haines as we share some lessons we've learned along our path to recovery. This week we're celebrating our 7 year wedding anniversary and it feels like the perfect time to reflect on the story of how we met. When I first met Evan (yes, we met in AA) I would listen to him talk and feel almost envious of the things he would say. He seemed so... enlightened. I looked up to him in a way and he inspired me from our very first date. On our second date he asked to meet my mom and later that night he broke up with me. Here's just one example of the wisdom Evan drops throughout the episode, "In recovery, we learn to accept ourselves, and in finding that compassion for ourselves we can find it for others." #andsoitis

Apr 22, 2019
Ep. 7 Would You Rather - Recovering From Reality
41:21

It's episode # 7 of Recovering from Reality and I'm sitting down with my wonderful, hilarious sister Gabby! We talk about everything from our upcoming Vegas trip to the different perceptions we each held of our childhood. Gabby and I spent quite a few years working through our own sh*t before we could get close to one another and have a real sister relationship. Sisters have such complex, chaotic, and sometimes telepathic bond. Throw in traumatic upbringing into the mix things are bound to be a little messy. We examine the different dynamics and roles we each played within the structure of our family unit and talk about how we don't want to extend those roles into our own families. This episode covers themes of forgiveness, resentment, and emotional oppression. We also play a pretty hilarious inappropriate game of 'would you rather' which gives y'all a shining example of the women we've become today. #goals #mauture #andsoitis

Apr 15, 2019
Ep. 6 Sorry, Kristin Cavallari - Recovering From Reality
43:07

On this episode of Recovering from Reality, I cover a lot of ground. It all started with a video I posted of my two-year-old having a meltdown over powdered greens which triggered a bunch of people (mostly other women) to start mom shaming me OVER A BOTTLE. Luckily, LaLa Kent provided some comedic relief on this topic 😂. Anyways, those of you who weren't shaming had a few questions about what supplements I take daily. So, I decided to talk about some of the practices, supplements, and practitioners I use to counter the years I spent living as an addict. In my first two years of sobriety, I smoked a pack of cigarettes every day, lived on Redbull, and enjoyed copious amounts of fast food. Why? Because that's worked FOR ME. When I got pregnant with Harper I found out I had Hyperglycemia, so I started re-thinking some of my lifestyle choices. After giving birth to my first baby I was suffering from severe postpartum depression. This was really scary you guys, I didn't know I could get so low in sobriety, so turned to holistic and alternative medicine—which is ultimately where I find myself today. In this episode, I talk about balancing hormones, genetic testing, the gut-brain connection, and why I became a birth doula. I touch on heavy metal testing, EMF blockers, GMO's and MTHFR. Fair warning, I also talk about vaccinations. America currently has the highest maternal death rate of any westernized country, so I'm going to keep sharing my opinions and letting women know that we have the right to ask questions and get multiple opinions when it comes to our own health and the health of our children.  P.S. Kristin Cavallari, I owe you an apology. #andsoitis

Apr 08, 2019
Ep. 5 My Shrink Knows About You - Recovering From Reality
33:53

Being a woman means accepting responsibility for your actions and owning up to your shit, right? On this episode of Recovering from Reality, Alexis sits down with NYC based satire writer Millie Moore to talk about the mastermind that is Kris Jenner, the conspiracy that is Kim K's sex tape, and the chaos that is Jordan Woods's life. Trumps presidency is briefly discussed while Alexis and Millie muse about the responsibility for comedians like John Oliver and Bill Maher to "report" vs "entertain". Millie talks candidly about her experience with psychosis and how—at fourteen—her doctor prescribed her the same amount of Adderall as Lebron James—which probably had a lot to do with the voices she started hearing. We're reminded that there's an almost universal synchronicity connecting the need many people feel to detach. P.S. here's the article in reference #andsoitis 

Apr 01, 2019
Ep. 4 I Love You, Mom - Recovering From Reality
48:37

Bob Forrest has been to rehab 24 times and thinks Alexis's husband—Evan—(Bob's business partner at Alo House Recovery Centers) is altogether too nice. It's safe to say that this episode of Recovering from Reality covers A LOT of ground. Suboxone in the '90s, "best friend parenting" styles (think: Lindsay and Dina Lohan), and why we should all stop confusing lust with love. Alexis and Bob talk about how to collectively change the direction our society is heading by steering each other towards a more connected reality. We examine how the disintegration of the family unit is plaguing American families and leaving both parents and children without a solid support system. For more on this topic, we encourage you to check out Bob and Dr. Drews pod, This Life.

This episode doesn't shy away from heavy topics (trigger warning: divorce and sexual abuse are covered throughout) and Alexis opens up to her listeners about being an empathetic person dealing with internet trolls and frequent online criticisms, resulting in slumps of depression and frequent panic attacks. Bob shares his opinions about parents who talk about childhood molestation as the two briefly discuss the Michael Jackson documentary. A massive shoutout to Alo House Recovery Centers for being brave enough to approach treatment from an entirely new paradigm—something else we cover throughout this episode. Also, shout out to Brene Brown for getting us through the week with her book Rising Strong. 🙏

P.S Remember when Gwyneth Paltrow tried to make conscious uncoupling a thing? Yeah... 

Mar 25, 2019
Ep. 3 Variations of Normal - Recovering From Reality
37:22

Being married to a Backstreet Boy isn't always easy. Rochelle McLean joins us today on the third episode of Recovering from Reality to talk about what it's like being married to a pop star, online bullying, body shaming, and more. "We're all reactive human beings, so how do we process this reactivity in a way that's healthy?" Alexis sits down with her dear friend Rochelle to talk about online "hate mail", raising body positive daughters, and... cream cheese pretzels! Rochelle is a private soul who's life got just a little crazy when she married Backstreet BoyAJ McLean. During this open-hearted episode, Rochelle shares her reality aka how she met AJ, her personal insecurities, and how she committed to a partner who's in recovery. This episode deals with relevant topics such as social media personas, the effects of online bullying, and woman on woman 'trolling'. We hear from some of our listeners and ask the question, "how to explain to your kids that people on the Internet are being mean?".

Thank you to everyone who helped make this episode a reality and a special shoutout to Ragamuffin Coffee Roasters for keeping our crew caffeinated... #andsoitis!

Mar 18, 2019
Ep. 2 The Reunion - Recovering From Reality
29:06

For the second episode of Recovering from Reality, Alexis is joined by family therapist Michele Kambolis for a healing conversation with the ladies from Pretty Wild—you know, her 2009 reality TV show that aired on E!. Pretty Wild followed Alexis, her mother Andrea Arlington, and her two sisters, Tess Taylor and Gabby Neiers, as the girls coped with the chaos of addiction, trauma, and serious legal troubles. In this episode, "The Reunion”, Alexis lays the groundwork for her family to share their honest experiences with the show — 10 years later. Deep forgiveness, personal healing, and the process of setting boundaries are just some of the themes covered during this heartfelt episode. 

Thank you to everyone who helped make this episode a reality... and so it is! 
Mar 11, 2019
Ep. 1 A Special Kind of Hell - Recovering from Reality
37:11
In the very first episode of Recovering from Reality, Alexis Haines focuses on telling her "official" recovery story. Alexis got sober at nineteen years old after facing up to six years in the correctional system due to addiction. As the former star of the E! reality series Pretty Wild who faced a burglary conviction as a member of the notorious "Bling Ring”, Alexis understands the power of storytelling and media firsthand. As a survivor of the entertainment industry, IV heroin use, eating disorders, rape, physical violence, and childhood sexual trauma, Alexis is continuing her life-long journey of personal recovery by connecting with others and sharing her experiences with the world.
Feb 18, 2019