Married With Benefits™

By FamilyLife Podcast Network

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Description

We got married because we thought we’d be better together rather than apart. So why is it so easy to feel isolated from your life-long partner? Host, author, and fellow married pilgrim, Brian Goins, tackles the relational pitfalls, from the trivial to the tragic, that move couples towards isolation rather than experiencing the real benefits that come from saying “I do.”

Episode Date
15: Season Finale – Live Women’s Conference Speed Round
23:04

Season one of "Married With Benefits" comes to a close in glorious, speed-round fashion as Brian Goins, alongside Shaunti Feldhahn, enters the arena like a gladiator and fields rapid-fire questions live from a women's conference crowd of over 1000. "Why can't my husband multitask?" "Why does he flip channels so fast?" "Why does he go run errands and vanish?" The questions came fast (and sometimes furious), but Brian and Shaunti were up to the task. Find out if your burning question made the show.
Show Notes and Resources

Learn more about upcoming Aspire Women's Events. https://aspirewomensevents.com/
More from Shaunti Feldhahn at Shaunti.comhttps://shaunti.com/
Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Networkhttps://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/

Sep 30, 2019
14: Why Doesn’t My Marriage Look Anything Like a Hallmark Movie?
21:31

No, your husband doesn't act like those guys in the Hallmark movies. Not even close. Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins explain why that's by God's design and why it's actually a good thing for you and for your marriage. Don't worry, it doesn't mean you need to cut the Hallmark channel. In fact, there are three ways those movies can make you love your normal, real-life husband even more than you already do!
Show Notes and Resources

More from Shaunti Feldhahn at Shaunti.comhttps://shaunti.com/
Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Networkhttps://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/

Sep 23, 2019
13: Why Does He Ignore the Kids and Me When He Comes Home From Work?
23:05

Does your husband sort of “power down” after work right when you need to talk? Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins demystify this common frustration and offer tips for making your evenings more relational. Learn why some questions draw your husband out of his hole, while others prompt only grunts. Gain a simple tip for his drive home that will make life easier on both of you. And discover one thing ESPN knows about gaining and holding your husband’s attention and why you should steal it.
Show Notes and Resources

More from Shaunti Feldhahn at Shaunti.comhttps://shaunti.com/
Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Networkhttps://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/

Sep 16, 2019
12: Why Can’t He Just Listen?
19:54

A husband who shifts into "fix it" mode without taking time to truly understand, or glazes over after only 3 minutes of listening, will only frustrate his wife and make the problem worse-the opposite of what he intends. So how can you avoid this very common experience and instead create interactions that leave you feeling heard without treating him like "one of the girls"? Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins explain a process with two critical steps. If he brushes off step 1 or you neglect step 2, you both lose. Bonus: a pro tip just for wives to increase your odds of gaining his ear every time.
Show Notes and Resources

It's Not About The Nail video. (2 min. video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Networkhttps://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/
More from Shaunti Feldhahn at Shaunti.comhttps://shaunti.com/

Sep 15, 2019
11: Does My Husband Secretly Want Me to Look Like a Bikini Model?
23:11

Do men secretly wish their wives looked like bikini models? Thousands of men were surveyed and the results are in! Listen as Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins explain what the overwhelming majority said and the implications for normal marriages like yours. If you've tortured yourself with feelings of inadequacy or thoughts of never fitting into that ideal dress size again, take heart. Giving your husband what Shaunti calls "gleeful delight" is WAY easier than you imagine, if you're willing to make a little effort and maybe step out of your usual comfort zone.

Sep 14, 2019
10: Can My Spouse and I Have Friends of the Opposite Sex?
0:00

Can you or your husband still have friends of the opposite sex? It’s a lightning-rod question that sparks strong emotions on both sides. Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins say yes, but with a few wise caveats (#itscomplicated). Should you use the “Mike Pence rule” or have no rules at all? How can you keep friendships from going too far? And what are seven diagnostic questions you can ask to guard your marriage without putting your head in the sand?
Show Notes and Resources

For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com.

May 27, 2019
9: Why Does My Husband Choose Video Games Over Me?
0:00

Okay, so what's with the video games? Wasn't your husband supposed to leave those behind in his childhood? Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins, along with special guest Ryan Guinee of FamilyLife, discuss the unique challenges gaming presents in marriage. Every wife married to a gamer knows the backlash if she confronts this sensitive area, but there are practical things you can do to make the conversation easier and hopefully get some win/win boundaries set in your home.
Show Notes and Resources

For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com.

May 20, 2019
8: Why Does He Care More About Work Than Me and the Kids?
0:00

Couples trying to balance work and family face the pull of two competing priorities—financial security and relationship connection. Even in dual-income homes, it's common for the husband and wife to fall on different ends of that value spectrum. Typically, but not always, he values being at the office while she wishes they had more time together. If you can relate, listen as Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins explain how and when to discuss all this. And if your husband is especially prone to workaholism, learn four ways to disarm the pressure he feels and together find the work/home balance you desire.
Show Notes and Resources

For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com.

May 13, 2019
7: Why Does It Take Such Nagging to Get Help Around the House?
0:00

Honey, the trash needs to go out, but please don't take it now because I like having to ask 12 times, said NO WIFE EVER! So why is this such a common experience? Are husbands really that uncaring? Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins explain what's really behind this and how to move a husband to action without nagging. Hint: Husbands who avoid chores often have a deep desire to tackle projects, and to feel heroic loving you in the process. Learn to ask "when" and to ask once. And gain practical steps for handling those pesky, repetitive, daily tasks that can make or break your home life.
Show Notes and Resources

For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com.

May 06, 2019
6: Why Does He Insist on Carrying All the Groceries in One Trip?
0:00

Does your husband always try to carry the groceries in a single trip? You may be surprised when you learn why he does that. Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins crack open the mystery and explain why he risks breaking all those eggs.
Show Notes and Resources

For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com.

Apr 29, 2019
5: What If My Husband Doesn’t Deserve Respect?
34:58

Show your husband unconditional respect? Yeah, right. What if he doesn't deserve it? Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins talk through the difficulties faced by many wives whose husbands make it really hard to show respect. Wives knows this can be tricky, so Shaunti explains the practical steps used by couples who've turned the corner toward transformation and change. She describes the biggest "little wins" you can make, and what you can do when his behavior has zero respectability.
Show Notes and Resources

For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com.

Apr 22, 2019
4: What If We Butt Heads Over Parenting?
31:09

Do you and your husband butt heads over the kids? Are you often stuck being the disciplinarian while he gets to be the fun parent? Why would God put together two parents that are bent in such different directions? Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins give three tips for handling those moments when you reach a parenting impasse ... plus a secret to helping your husband see things from your point of view. Remember, parenting stuff always becomes marriage stuff. Even your differences can pull you together.
Show Notes and Resources

For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com.

Apr 15, 2019
3: How Can A Good Man Be Tempted By Porn?
35:58

Porn is disgusting, right? It's fake, gross, destructive, and downright sad. So, how could a good man be tempted by it? Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins take an honest look at a topic many wives find impossible to relate to, but are surprised to learn how easy it is to understand. There's no excusing this sin, but there is solid brain science and biblical insight to help you make sense of it, and maybe even empathize with your husband's struggle. Plus, you'll learn what to do if you've just discovered that your husband has been viewing porn.
Show Notes and Resources

For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com.

Apr 08, 2019
2: Why Is He So Touchy?
35:07

Does your husband sulk or get angry over the weirdest things? Ever wonder why he is so touchy? Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins discuss common male triggers and what's really underneath those strange reactions. Understand what's happening deep inside his heart, and be assured-it's not your fault. Even so, you can help make him feel okay again. Learn how to read your husband's tells and master the single best thing you can say in those moments. And learn to follow a simple "next day rule" that could help eliminate these conflicts altogether.
Show Notes and Resources

For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com.
The Seekers are an Australian folk-influenced pop quartet, originally formed in Melbourne in 1962.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seekers

Apr 02, 2019
1: Why Is He So Interested in Sex?
36:31

Do you long to make deep, heart-to-heart connections with your husband? You might be surprised to learn that he wants the same thing. But his efforts come in disguise. Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins explore the topic of sex and why this simple physical act carries such complex emotional weight for your husband. Understand the difference between assertive desire and receptive desire. Learn what to do when you're tired. Discover why your desire for your husband (not just the physical act of sex) is what delights him and gives him a sense of well-being.
Show Notes and Resources

For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com.
Read the Blog post from Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma, offers hope, encouragement, and direction to wives who have a stronger sexual drive than their husbands – a situation that probably happens in one of five marriages.  https://shaunti.com/2015/11/when-she-has-the-stronger-sex-drive-part-one/

Apr 01, 2019