Never Thought I'd Say This

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Fuller House star and mother of two Jodie Sweetin and her best friend, life coach Celia Behar, hilariously tackle parenting taboos by sharing war stories from the frontlines of single motherhood, talking to special guests about the issues all parents face, and giving unfiltered advice to listeners.

Episode Date
39: Can You Hear Me Now? With Meredith Masony and Tiffany Jenkins
This week, Jodie and Celia are joined by Tiffany Jenkins (of Juggling the Jenkins) and Meredith Masony (of That’s Inappropriate)! From their respective closets/garages/wells, the ladies discuss everything from conspiracy theories, butts (yes, again), the online parenting community, and how to charge your kids for snacks during quarantine (thanks, Tiffany!). Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
May 27, 2020
38: Scratch 'N Stiff Snickers
This week, Jodie and Celia dive into listener letters! They share “never thought I’d say this” moments from all of you, hear about how everyone’s doing during the pandemic, and interject with their usual insane silliness (including Celia’s famous “coked-out chipmunk” impression). Then Celia shares a new story about her mom, and maybe her best (worst?) craptastic parenting moment yet. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
May 20, 2020
37: We're Not Wearing Pants
Well, the day has come. Celia has given herself a full Brazilian wax at home during quarantine,  and she lived to tell us the tale. Then, Jodie shares her most recent never thought I’d say this and craptastic parenting moments: Jodie’s daughter moved into the bathroom, her other daughter refused to wear pants, and Jodie had a screaming tantrum. Jodie and Celia talk about how blurred the boundaries are with kids during quarantine – how do you keep things under control as a parent when even you are falling apart? They also talk about the importance of taking responsibility as a parent when you do mess up, because messing up is inevitable - especially during a pandemic. So be kind to yourselves (and wash your hands!). Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
May 13, 2020
36: Dildo-Holding Lonely Girl
Jodie and Celia are back with another closet edition of NTIST! Jodie talks about something she never thought she’d say: she threw a socially distant birthday party for her daughter. The ladies check in about their respective mental states in isolation – the loneliness, the lack of control, and the guilt that comes with having negative feelings when in a relatively privileged position. They offer advice to their listeners: stay in your hula hoop, and take a break from the dishes. Celia talks about how anxiety manifests in your brain, and how it might be protecting you right now. Meanwhile, a ghost or the NSA keeps messing with the microphones and the lights, Jodie can’t stop burping, and Celia has big news! Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
May 06, 2020
35: Smurf Vaginas
Jodie and Celia are back broadcasting from their respective closets to discuss their new normal: quarantining with the kids. They talk about their lack of sanity, their adventures in remote recording (which somehow manage to include bathroom humor), and Celia gearing up for some terrifying at-home waxing. They also talk about the silver linings of the pandemic – clean air, people being extra generous, and taking a break from productivity. Oh yeah, and there’s plenty of butthole content. Just to stay consistent.  Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
Apr 29, 2020
34: Your Life Is Not Worth A Taco
Jodie and Celia are in full quarantine mode and are dispatching today from their respective closets, because the show must go on! They give each other updates on how homeschooling the kids is going and naturally, it’s a mixed bag. They stress the importance of not putting too much pressure on the kids or themselves during this surreal time, and share some of the highs and lows they’ve faced so far. Plus, Celia is still boozing, Jodie is still breaking toes, and both of them are still ridiculous. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
Apr 22, 2020
33: We Are The Grenade
This week, Jodie and Celia talk about the idea of the “nuclear family” – and decide it’s kind of B.S. They discuss the guilt that comes up for single moms who don’t have cookie-cutter families, and the ways in which they’ve created chosen families that create a wider, more diverse network of support than the traditional family structure. And somehow, all roads lead to Celia’s butt. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
Apr 15, 2020
32: Is Oprah Involved? With Brenda Strong
This week Jodie and Celia are joined by Brenda Strong, who along with being an actress is a yoga teacher and a pioneer of yoga for fertility. The ladies talk about the stigma that comes with infertility, and the shame that society places on all aspects of both being a mother and not being a mother. Brenda offers some tools for embracing all experiences - good and bad - and Celia opens up about her secondary infertility and the way that Brenda’s teachings helped her through it. Then Jodie forgets Bea’s age, and Celia shames Harper (whoops) for plucking a giant hole in her eyebrow (double whoops). Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
Apr 08, 2020
31: Pandemic Special Pt. 2: Butt Stuff
Jodie and Celia are back for the second installment of their Pandemic Special. This time, the ladies take a detour to share some pre-coronavirus stories: the special adventures of Lulu and Bea, Bea “running away,” Jodie and Celia breaking their bodies, and Celia showing her pedicurist porn (on accident!). Then, they talk about being present and reconnecting in the face of the current panic, and issue a PSA: with all this extra time on your hands, don’t put weird things up your butt. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
Apr 01, 2020
30: Pandemic Special: Celia's Drunk
Jodie and Celia are dispatching to you from the COVID-19 pandemic this week – something they never thought they’d say. First thing to know is that Celia is drunk. Second is that along with discussing how the pandemic is affecting their lives, they manage to find the humor in a bad situation, as they always do. So this episode is filled with laughs, an insane new expression from the brilliant mind of Jodie Sweetin, butt humor, and Picante Clamato. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
Mar 25, 2020
29: Don't Eat That! With Lisa Loeb
This week the ladies sit down with the musician Lisa Loeb! They talk about how Lisa became a children’s musician (before she was a mom), and how the best music for kids to listen to has a high level of cleverness, storytelling, and humor – whether it’s made specifically for kids or not. They discuss radical self-acceptance in kids AND adults, and how Los Angeles is a great place to learn it. Plus, kids eat the grossest things. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis Email:
Mar 18, 2020
28: Grandma Has FUPA
Mar 11, 2020
27: The Goodwill
Jodie and Celia have reached that inevitable point when their older daughters have become cooler than them. They talk about the impossibility of clothes shopping with middle schoolers (especially for a first dance) and the insanity of school dress codes. They also totally out themselves as lame moms (they don’t think TikTok videos are funny, they don’t understand slang, etc.) and they’re NOT ASHAMED. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Mar 04, 2020
26: We Have Anxiety and Depression!
This week, Jodie and Celia talk about having anxiety and depression, parenting through mental illness and grief, and how they talk to their kids about it. Because a serious topic never gets in the way of these two having a good, off-the-rails time, they manage to laugh through the discussion, sexualize Olaf from Frozen, and joke about “sacks” with Jodie’s daughter. Yeah, those sacks. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Feb 26, 2020
25: LIVE! At SF Sketchfest
And we’re back for Season 2, with NTIST’s first LIVE SHOW! Jodie and Celia take the stage at San Francisco Sketchfest to talk about their holiday vacations with the kids (if you think those went smoothly, welcome – you must be new here). Things really go off the rails when Jodie narrates Celia’s onstage reenactments of “sex positions” as imagined by Celia’s daughter Lulu…buckle up, everyone! Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Feb 19, 2020
24: You Get The Jizz Of It
It’s the final episode of Season One (don’t worry, we’ll be back soon)! Jodie and Celia cover such topics as binge eating at Harry Potter World (and inappropriate places to stick magic wands), the end of Fuller House, kids’ anxiety about their parents’ finances, screaming dispatches from the shower, and a special announcement! (And yes – obviously they go off the rails 100+ times.)   LIVE SHOW: Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Dec 18, 2019
23: A Sprinkle of F*cks
Jodie and Celia do a post-Halloween wrap-up of their last year trick-or-treating with all of their girls (the older ones are VERY ready to ditch their moms). They then debrief on a fancy night out in which they both had extreme wardrobe malfunctions, and discuss how they handle their kids fighting with each other (spoiler alert: accept when your own kid is being a dick). Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Dec 11, 2019
22: OMG, Your Cat's On Fire (With Jeff Serber)
Jodie and Celia sit down with their good friend and security expert, Jeff Serber, to discuss how to keep your kids (and yourself) safe online. Jeff breaks down just how easy it is for someone to find your kid in the real world from their online profiles (yes – even if they are set to “private”), explains how to teach kids to set hard boundaries with adults that make them uncomfortable, and, naturally, uncovers that Celia’s upcoming Tinder date is a sex offender. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Dec 04, 2019
21: Why Am I Here? (With Janice Sweetin)
Celia and Jodie welcome a very special guest to the show this week: Jodie's mom, Janice Sweetin! Janice shares the parenting wisdom she learned raising Jodie, talks about how different it is raising kids today, and gives Celia dating advice (yes, she's swiped for Celia on Tinder).  Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Nov 27, 2019
20: Bastards Are Out
Celia tells Jodie how she used her daughter to get her out of a bad date, which opens up a discussion about when it is OK to lie (especially as a girl/woman in order to stay safe), and how to explain the difference to your kids. Then, Jodie reveals how she once got Celia out of a hilariously terrible date. Just bad dates all around. 
Nov 20, 2019
19: It's a 2319! With Debbie Matenopoulos
Jodie, Celia, and Debbie Matenopoulos get even more real than usual on the podcast today! They discuss how necessary it is to lie to your own children sometimes (did you know they'll send four-year-olds to jail?!), how hard it is not to raise an entitled child, and when to admit to your kids that you were wrong. Plus, Debbie shares some hilarious quotes from moms hanging on by a thread.  Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Nov 13, 2019
18: The Dung Beetle Incident (With Jill Trinchero)
Jodie and Celia talk to Jill Trinchero, founder and CEO of an edible cannabis snack company, about being a business-owner and cannabis advocate while also being a mom. Celia shares how cannabis helped her through postpartum depression, and Jodie weighs in on the social stigma of cannabis as a sober, objective observer. And somehow, there’s a lot of discussion about dung beetles and vaudeville to go along with it. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email: Find Jill on Instagram: @sdksnacks ( @mellowoutmama ( @sdklife (
Nov 06, 2019
17: People'd Out
Jodie and Celia talk all things birthday parties! Jodie hosts 10 little girls at her house for Bea’s birthday sleepover, and Celia has Lulu’s party at a roller rink. Naturally, chaos ensues – Jodie gets in a fight in the parking lot, Celia cries in a corner, and more. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Oct 30, 2019
16: Belly Button Nipples
In this episode, Jodie and Celia tackle the often controversial topic of kids using "grown-up words" - where and when they're ok to use, and how to navigate the issue as parents who use A LOT of grown-up words themselves. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Oct 23, 2019
15: Jesus Loves A Good Trampoline (With Marriage & Martinis)
Jodie and Celia are joined by Danielle and Adam of the podcast Marriage & Martinis this week! The ladies talk to their first married couple guests about "disciplining" their children (they know they’re not supposed to use that word – they don’t care) and the different methods they all use. Including putting a toddler on a Target shelf for a time out. Merch: Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Oct 16, 2019
14: Low Hanging Fruit With John Brotherton
Jodie and Celia have their first dad on the podcast – John Brotherton! They discuss how conventional beauty standards are already affecting their young daughters, and the father-daughter dynamic from childhood to adulthood. Then Celia gives advice for how dads can best deal with their daughters’ insecurities and first heartbreaks. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Oct 09, 2019
13: Raise One Less Asshole (With Good Moms Bad Choices)
Jodie and Celia talk to Erica and Milah of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast about raising kids in a racially charged society, how to be an ally, and dating dealbreakers. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Oct 02, 2019
12: Burn It Down
Jodie tells a horrific tale of lice overtaking the entire family. Celia loses her shit. Bea still wants Menchie's. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Email:
Sep 25, 2019
11: Boobies, Periods, and Vaginas With Chudney Ross
Jodie, Celia, and their friend Chudney Ross talk about squeamish dads, losing their kids in public places, sibling dynamics, and – of course – boobies, periods, and vaginas. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
Sep 18, 2019
10: Adoption And Asian Jews With Karen Rothstein
Jodie, Celia, and fellow single mama Karen Rothstein talk all things adoption! Jodie and Karen share their own unique adoption stories, Celia's daughters start a trend of putting Paw Patrol tattoos on their private parts, and the ladies share a boozy Fail Main submission. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
Sep 11, 2019
9: Isro With Lynsey Addario
Jodie and Celia talk to Pulitzer Prize winning photojournalist Lynsey Addario about being a working mom - which in Lynsey's case involves being pregnant in war zones. Plus, the ladies risk losing their four male listeners by sharing menstrual cup horror stories. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
Sep 04, 2019
8: Full Blown Job
The ladies discuss teaching their kids internet literacy (and not to Google their parents), Jodie’s side hustle as a literary icon, and the special kind of hell that is a 3 hour school play. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
Aug 28, 2019
7: Tossing Salads And More! With Andrea Barber
Jodie and Celia talk to special guest Andrea Barber about what it's like to parent a teenage (!) boy (!!), and the three ladies discuss helping kids through puberty. Later, things go off the rails when Jodie and Celia have to explain to Andrea what it means to toss someone's salad. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
Aug 21, 2019
6: Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut, Sometimes You Don't
Jodie and Celia, fresh off an experience where one of their daughters tells the other's daughter about abortion, discuss the importance of talking to your kids about the tough stuff before they get misinformation. Then they share some of the misinformation they got as kids (testicles are involved). Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
Aug 14, 2019
5: I'm A Girl Scout, Wooo!
Join Jodie and Celia for a conversation that ranges from killing your kids' creativity, challenging them to fights, losing it at them in front of religious neighbors, and of course, "crotch fires." (We can't make this stuff up.)
Aug 07, 2019
4: Gramps Has A Ponytail
Jodie and Celia discuss those awkward first conversations about sex...when the kids know a little too much. Then, a dramatic reading of a very special and disturbing children's book written by...Celia's mother. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
Jul 31, 2019
3: Finsta?! With Melissa Gisoni
Jodie, Celia, and Melissa chat all things social media: finding their kids' secret accounts, dealing with online bullying, and experiencing how parents can get sucked in themselves. Plus, Jodie comes clean about a Nutella theft. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
Jul 24, 2019
2: Don't Touch My Nipples! With Christine Lakin
Jodie and Celia talk with Christine Lakin about respecting kids' physical boundaries, kids respecting each other's physical boundaries (or not), and how apparently Celia was the worst pregnant person ever according to her daughter. Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
Jul 17, 2019
1: Trauma Bonded
Welcome to NTIST! In this episode, the ladies discuss how they became friends and what they've done recently that's gonna come up in their kids' future therapy sessions.  Instagram: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Facebook: @neverthoughtidsaythis ( Twitter: @ineverthoughtid ( Email:
Jul 10, 2019
Introducing Never Thought I'd Say This
Welcome to Never Thought I'd Say This, an unfiltered parenting podcast from Jodie Sweetin and Celia Behar! Episodes will be available every Wednesday starting on July 10, 2019.
Jun 19, 2019