Absolutely Not

By Dear Media

Listen to a podcast, please open Podcast Republic app. Available on Google Play Store.


Category: Comedy

Open in Apple Podcasts


Open RSS feed


Open Website


Rate for this podcast

Subscribers: 179
Reviews: 0

Description

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

Episode Date
WORK HARD PLAY HARDER
48:55
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is anxious and over caffeinated but doing her best to hold on to the future. The Voicemails this week are dumber than ever, but it doesn't stop Heather from losing her fucking mind. She loves you for calling in and remember, turn your AC off and roll your windows up if you're calling from the car! LOL! That and more on this week's episode! 
 
 

Helix is offering up to $200 off ALL mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com/absolutelynot

 

Go to feals.com/absolutely to become a member and get 50% automatically taken off your first order with free shipping!

 

To get a special free trial membership to Beach Body, text ABSOLUTELY to 303030.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Jul 08, 2020
Tiny Urethra on the Broadway
53:24

Heather is back in the studio, aka her Mom's "Office" with her Tour Producer, Chris Ketner. Since they can't be on the road together touring the world, the convo has taken a wild turn to REAL TALK TOWN. The discuss their lack of sex education in School, how Tik Tok is keeping them formed on Conspiracy Theories and how much they miss slinging drinks for old Broads at brunch in 2010 in Hell's Kitchen. Let's take a little trip down memory lane for some giggles and perspective. 

 

Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $60!

 

Produced by Dear Media.

Jul 01, 2020
Blame the SnowBirds
47:11
On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather takes a few calls from the new Hot spot of Florida and tries to figure out what the hell is going on. Were not even halfway through the year, and yet truly no one knows what this year has become/is/was/will be. She's hoping for a bright future but fingers crossed the insane voicemails on the hotline will brighten your day and make you giggle! 
 
Produced by Dear Media.
Jun 24, 2020
Be the You Today, You Wanna Be Tomorrow
49:10

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather hops back on the VoiceMails and legit LOL's till the cows come home. Y'all have taken it to another level. She discusses the chaos of living in construction, her concern for the environment and just general anxieties that keep her up... ya know amongst the covid, social injustices and impending meteor showers... That and more on the pod! 

 

Go to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $60!

 

Go to talkspace.com and use promo code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and help support the show.

 

Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off ALL mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com/absolutelynot. 

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

 

 

Jun 17, 2020
Let's Go Girls
51:05

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes a moment to pause and very bluntly let everyone know that if you are a racist, the unfollow button is easy. Bye Bye,Sir. We will not put up with that Bullshit here! We get back to giggling and have an honest discussion of whats going on in the world today and how we can be a part of the change. Of course we get to the Absolutely Not line which is still filled with some of the most ridiculous Voicemails you've ever heard. Sidenote... y'all gotta quit calling us from hot-tubs, Heather can't hear you over the bubbles and the giggles. Love and Light my babies and more! 

 

Head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” for 20% off! 

 

Get a special free trial membership for Beachbody when you text ABSOLUTELY to 303030.

 

Go to omaxhealth.com today and enter code “ABSOLUTELY” for 20% off Cryofreeze and sitewide! 

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Jun 10, 2020
Robin Goes to Greece
53:11

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather shares the psychological torture she endures everyday living with Diva Red in lockup. These two are in the words of MegtheStallion “savage, classy, bougie, ratchet”. This is just the tip of the iceberg! That and more!  

 

Go to zola.com/absolutelynot today and use promo code SAVE50 to get fifty- percent off your save the dates!

 

Go to talkspace.com and use the code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

May 27, 2020
WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON
49:27
On this solo episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is falling apart at the thin ankles, literally. With a burnt taint, a rolled ankle and nothing to do, she has hit a new LEVEL OF NOPE. She cant even record this episode without her mom walking into the office to make it about her....typical Robin. If you thought the voicemails were wild last week, wait till you hear that the crazies have been up to now. Were week 852 into quarantine and still no one knows what the hell is going on! 
 
Go to talkspace.com and use promo code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and help support the show!
 

To learn more about GoMacro’s giveback programs, and to give their tasty bars a try, visit gomacro.com and use promo code ​ABSOLUTELY​ for 30% off plus free shipping!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

May 20, 2020
Burnt My Grundle
42:35
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather relives her emotional journey after having hot coffee spilled on her vagina in the Starbucks Drive-Thru. The Grundle is crispy, the attitude is sassy and for some reason she is super thirsty.....ya know like actually thirsty. Heather hits the Absolutely Not line and from this batch of voicemails its ABSOLUTELY apparent that everyone has lost their friggin minds! 
 
 
Produced by Dear Media. 
May 13, 2020
A Little Bit of CRAZY!
45:50

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather decides to flip the script on Love and find out whats been happening to her single friends during LOVE, LOCKED UP RAW! Just because we are in quarantine doesn't mean people aren't still trying to find the one, or just send penis pics, and she is here to get the scoop from the opposite sex. Her dear friend and former elementary flame, Tommy Bardis is here to break down from the dude's perspective what is happening during this beyond awkward time to date. They will giggle, They will cry, they will be triggered with emotion, but hey, its a lot of Absolutely Yes on this episode! 

Go to OMAXHealth.com and enter code “ABSOLUTELY”’ to get 20% off CryoFreeze and sitewide!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

May 06, 2020
I Hate Everyone with Jackie Schimmel of The Bitch Bible Podcast
42:16

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has dear friend and fellow shit talker extraordinaire, Jackie Schimmel in the studio. They both look as equally hideous on zoom as they do in person, so no surprise there. The girls discuss trying to stay motivated, where they are on the emotional roller coaster that is quarantine and how much they are both starting to literally hate, well, EVERYONE. That and more! 

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Apr 29, 2020
AND THATS ON GOD
42:17

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast,  Heather is sweating from the leather couch in her Mom's basement and has a whole lot of attitude. She is hitting the hotline hard and taking your calls from quarantine. Since we are all just trying to survive and giggle a little this episode is especially silly and sweaty... did I mention how sweaty she is. That and more on this episode of Absolutely Not!

 

Go to omaxhealth.com and enter code “ABSOLUTELY”’ to get 20% off CryoFreeze and site-wide!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Apr 22, 2020
Pia Baroncini - Thriving in Pasadena
58:03

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather interviews her sister from another mister, Fashion Icon and fellow podcast host, Pia Baroncini. These two have eerily similar lives that have led them both to marrying Italians and moving back in with their moms. They discuss the character building days of  slinging drinks in NYC to losing their dads and moving into their childhood homes. Pia runs a wildly successful clothing line, LPA THE LABEL that makes hot latex pants that will make anyone pussy pop in a handstand. This epsiode is a raw and real convo about adult lady shit and giving zero fucks. That and more! 

Apr 15, 2020
Here Come The Facts with Ashley McMahan
01:01:37

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is joined by the Georgia Law Lady herself, Ashley McMahan. They may be sisters.... more of a Kourtney and Khloe kinda relationship if you will. Two McMahan's in one room is always a wild time, but as soon as these two hot tots start hashing out stories about their family life, things will finally make sense. It's obvious they were both old eggs from when Robin had them late in life, but thats just the tip of the iceberg, baby. They discuss how the baby boomers need to be locked up, how Jeff is eating them out of house and home and Ashley gives you legal advice! All of this and more on this family drama episode of Absolutely Not. 

Apr 08, 2020
NEVER BLAME THE SWEET TEA with Andrew Collin
54:22

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her fra-t daddy- ding -dong comedian friend, Andrew Collin. He's been on the podcast before and now that he has been cooped up in his Brooklyn Apartment he's extra bitter with a side of ridiculousness. Truly a one-of-a-kind conversation. They discuss being "locked up raw" How they are coping with the anxiety and whats next on the books for 2020... ya know other than hell fire and brimstones.... That and more!!!

 

 

Visit ​www.gomacro.com​ and use code ​absolutely​ for 30% off + free shipping.

 

 

Produced by Dear Media.

Apr 01, 2020
Your Body My Choice with Jeff Daniels AKA The Italian Stallion
53:06

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits in quarantine with her Italian Stallion, Jeff Daniels. Since every single thing he is doing has been driving her up a fucking Ficus tree, she figured it would be a great time to air out their grievances for the whole world through couples therapy, aka this podcast. They discuss their upcoming or maybe forever cancelled nuptials and really hash out their mood swings for the listeners to judge! Keeping it light and positive over here, don't you worry about a thing! 

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Mar 26, 2020
Locked Up Raw
47:09

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is coming to ya LIVE! from Atlanta, Georgia. She took the Oregon Trail to escape NYC in this wild time were living in and realized after all is said and done, she might run for city council...... or maybe just he head of her mom's Home Owners Association. We are gonna giggle and gossip on this episode because let's be honest, what ELSE is there to do?!! Don't panic, don't worry, Heather's got you! 

Mar 18, 2020
A Weho Eviction Story with Raymond Padilla
43:11

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Raymond Padilla, Heather's half Chinese, half Mexican, but 100% full of shit bff, is back again to break down his most recent trials and tribulations, his pending apartment eviction. After being accosted by a  nutter butter neighbor and bamboozled by a his HOT landlord, were cracking the case of this legal situation. It's a shit show and don't we know it. Raymond is also serving us an extra slice of humble pie when he helps Heather break down the Voice mails from the Absolutely Not line! 

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Mar 12, 2020
Meet me at the Beverly Center
48:02

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fired up hotter than a her Irish skin on the Fourth of July. She calls out some haters and challenges them to a duel.... at the Beverly center! It’s a wild ride of emotions and commotions!

 

Check out the Milky Jelly Cleanser and get 10%off your first order on Glossier.com/podcast/absolutely !

 

Produced by Dear Media.

Mar 04, 2020
Hydration Station Situation
48:45

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off a 3 day gal-a-palooza girls tip to Minneapolis where she was promptly roofied & witnessed a shoot out. The Midwest is a crazy place where you should never trust a nurse named Chet. She is extra sassy and still chugging electrolytes while she takes your calls from the Absolutely Not hot line!

Feb 26, 2020
Cartier Bamboozlement
43:37

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back in the studio, fresh from Asia and answering your phone calls and hot fire voicemails. Things take a turn for the best when she calls back a feisty fan who leaves a day-drunk message. Heather also updates us on her 10 year anniversary bamboozlement when Jeff essentially "Cartier" teased her! It's a whole cluster-fuck of love, money and voicemails on this latest episode.

 

Shop Biossance.com and use discount code 'absolutelynot20' for 20% off! 
 
 
Produced by Dear Media. 
 
Feb 19, 2020
A SONG AND A SCHLONG
52:13

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her very own Gayle King, Raymond Padilla. He is coming In "guns hot" as the kids say, sassier than ever. They catch up on life and take your voicemails from the "Absolutely Not" line. It's a giggle-a-minute and sometimes Ray and Heather truly feel like they are doing the Lord's work by breaking down the world's top problems..... one cunty comment at a time! 

 

Check out ​www.gomacro.com​ and use promo code: ​absolutely​ for 30% off plus free shipping for a limited time!

 

Get 15 % off your order at buyraycon.com/absolutelynot !

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

 

Feb 12, 2020
BONEMARROW BITCH
49:51

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is back from Asia, feeling like a piece of pickled kimchi with the Jet-lag and soy bloat but ready to take on the week! She gives you a full cultural recap of what she learned abroad, and how she is ready to star in her own travel show... if someone will fund it. She feels like Samantha Brown wrapped in her newly made, custom fit, red silk robe while she sips hot tea like a bad bitch who has learned something. She touches on all the sassy things y'all Dm'd her about while on the road and dont worry she is still coming for you SHERYL. love and light and all funny things on this episode and more! 

Shop biossance.com and use code: absolutelynot20 at checkout for 20% off! 

Produced by Dear Media. 

 

Feb 05, 2020
ASIA WEIGH IN
50:36

On this weeks episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is still on the road with her bff and travel buddy, Chris Ketner. They have one more week in Asia and while they recap their travels they also hop on the scale to realize Asia isn't exactly "Parasite City". Coming in guns hot and splitting their Old Navy jeans from excessive noodle consumption these two ding dongs realize they have to get their lives right while some how still DOING THE MOST in Asia. For a full itinerary and rundown of cities like Ho Chi Min , Chang Mai and Koh Samui, check out this week's episode, of ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Jan 29, 2020
BIGGEST LOSER, ASIA EDITION
54:55
On this episode of The Absolutely Not podcast, Heather gives you live and in the moment updates from her trip with Tony award winning producer and bestie, Chris Ketner. When Chris isn't on the road hold Heather's hair back on "THE FAREWELL COMEDY TOUR", he's helping her expand her mind and life by an epic friendship trip to Asia. They talk all things travel, how to stay "regular abroad" and their fail-proof plan to start "shredding for the wedding" in Vietnam! Follow along while these two ding-dongs have some fun abroad. 
 
Produced by Dear Media.
Jan 23, 2020
A Little Sancerre & DMT
01:20:21

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her T.V. business buddy and fellow creator, Jen Zaborowski.  This episode is a rare-BTS look at a project they've had in thr works but are too afraid to discuss because, well, thats Show Business.  Since Heather deems herself as "White Oprah" it would only be appropriate that she introduces you to her "white Gayle" aka.. JEN. These two talk about hollywood schmucks, Britney spears, private school and how much they hate nannying. After a quick glass of a french Sancerre, these two basically take their tops off and spill all the the dirt. It's wild what two white women will say after a glass of wine! This and more on Absolutely NOT! 

 

Thanks to our partners:

 

Head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off.

 

Get started on Skinsei.com/absolutely with a free diagnostic and get 20% off your first order with code ‘absolutely’.

 

Shop in-store, online at TheRealReal.com, or download the app, and get 20% off select items with the promo code REAL.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Jan 15, 2020
It Can Only Go Up From Flavor-Town
55:16

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off her Mexican vacay with a strong case of diarrhea & more sass than ever. After being completely bamboozled by Guy Fieri at the Cancun Airport, witnessing a full blown drug deal and almost fighting a women doing crunches on the beach, she is back in one-piece in the USA. There is a lot to be grateful for in the New Year, but it also doesn't stop us from remembering where we came from.... ya know the bathroom at the Cancun Airport... did I mention Guy Fieri poisoned me????? All this and more on the latest episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast! 

 

For $20 off your Buffy bedding, visit Buffy.co and enter​ “absolutely”.

 

Go to Fabletics.com/absolutelynot to get 2 leggings for only $24 when you sign up as a VIP.

 

Visit theRealReal.com, promo code REAL for 20% off select items.

 

Produced by Dear Media.

 

Jan 08, 2020
Dry Heat
54:34
On this Episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather tackles the most complicated and bitchy Voice Mails yet. We wrap up the year with gratitude and lots of grundle sweat coming to ya live from Hot Phoenix Arizona! It has been a full year of absolute abundance and blessings from above but she's also ready for a friggin Margarita. Ya feel me Claire? On this episode ?heather encourages y'all to leave your creepy uncle Dan in 2019 and get those magazine clippings ready for our Vision Board party in 2020. Let's end this year on a high note, doing what we do best, Absolute -Not "ing". 
Dec 25, 2019
SHRED THE GNAR BRAH with Becky Robinson
01:00:50

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather sits down with fellow comedian, Becky Robinson. She is a true ding-dong goof ball in every sense of the word and were are HERE FOR THIS LEVEL OF STUPIDITY. The girls cover all of your pre-holiday needs, butt stuff, relationships, how their upbringings turned them into semi-successful comics and Becky shares about the time she got her mom drunk after a dr.'s  appoitment! All of this and more on the Absolutely Not Podcast! 

 

Get 30% off your first order by going to LucBelaire.com/ absolutely.

 

Get 2 leggings for only $24 ($99 value) when you sign up for a VIP- go to Fabletics.com/absolutelynot to to advantage of this deal now!

 

Go to DollarShaveClub.com/absolutelynot to save on the ultimate shave gift set!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Dec 18, 2019
WELLNESS UPDATE; SHE'S BUSTING OUT OF JACKSONVILLE
01:00:11
On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off the 10th leg of the Farewell Tour and sits down with dietitian and health guru Sammy Previte, who is truly trying to make sure Heather survives Road life! Someone has finally got to tell this bitch to put down the hashbrowns and pick up a salad, I mean JEEZ... come on already! Heather gets all the tips and tricks from Sammy and recaps what the last leg of the tour has been like.... just a lil teaser, someone attacks Jeff in Florida, YAY!! This and more on one of the sassiest and raspiest episodes yet! 
 
Produced by Dear Media.
Dec 11, 2019
WE GOT A P2P PROBLEM
53:56
On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather has had it up to her flawless eyebrows with idiots this holiday season. It is truly hard to remain calm when you're trying to do the Lord's work but haters wanna hate...... and by haters you mean BEST BUY. Oh...don't even get us started on that bamboozlement! Heather is coming fresh off the Thanksgiving gratitude on a one-way ticket straight to "ABSOLUTELY-NOT-VILLE" and she is here to share it all with you! We also hit the Absolutely Not line for some giggles and a new holiday challenge! #holidaytchotchkechallenge 
Dec 04, 2019
Safety First Leslie
55:21
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes a moment to really breakdown what she is grateful for..... and then of course gets right back to bitching. It's been a wild ride on the road hitting 8 new cities in 9 days on tour, and baby does she have some stories for you! Thanksgiving week should be a time of reflection, family and roasting as many folks as possible. We break down all things Tour life and have a go-to-guide on how to survive the upcoming holiday season! Heather also hits the hot line for all of your disgruntled calls! 
 

Head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "absolutely30” at checkout for 30% off!

 

Visit Tradesy.com to save fifty dollars on your very first Tradesy purchase when it’s four-hundred dollars or more- just use code 'absolutely' at checkout at Tradesy.com !

For $20 off any suitcase or bag, visit awaytravel.com/absolutelynot and use promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT during checkout!

Nov 27, 2019
The Broadway Gospel Featuring Chris Ketner
01:12:02

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her bestie and Farewell Tour Producer, Chris Ketner to talk about surviving on the road. Chris is a tony award winning producer who now has to shove "pepto" down Heather's throat so she doesn't have a tummy ache on tour. They break down what it truly takes to make it in the "biz" and how the Mayor of Baltimore needs to figure some shit out. Its true Road-warrior Chronicles cause these two are literally DOING THE MOST. Heather also introduces Chris to the Absolutely Not line, and they take a swing at fixing all the world's problems, one Voice Mail at a time. 

 

Get 30% off your first order by going to LucBelaire.com/absolutely

 

Just head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order.

 

Go to uncommongoods.com/absolutely, to receive $5 off your first purchase!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Nov 20, 2019
HIRED BUT TIRED - Heather McMahan and guest, Jeff Daniels
01:08:02

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off her Italy tour and quite honestly, NOT WELL. She is gearing up for the next two weeks on the road and got ahold of some of the Devil's Dust at Walgreens but its spitting hot fire like never before. The Italian Stallion pops in to help her answer some wild Voice Mails from the Absolutely Not Line. The two love birds find out Jeff is actually more of a Ding Dong than we thought but we love him anyways. This and more on the episode! 

 

​Get your first JustFab style for as low as $10 as a VIP! That’s 75% off your first item with my special link.​ Just go to JustFab.com/absolutelynot !

 

Visit Tradesy.com to save fifty dollars on your very first Tradesy purchase when it’s four-hundred dollars or more. Use code absolutely at checkout at Tradesy.com!

 

Listeners get 20% off their DHM Detox order. Just head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout. 
Also, there is free shipping if you buy more than a couple boxes.

 

Head to www.playabeauty.com and use the code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first order.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Nov 14, 2019
Pi Kappa Pasta
55:59

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is coming at ya live from Fonté de Medici out in the sweet rolling hills of Chianti, baby. She is running an entire sorority out of a medieval castle in Tuscany and honestly, these hussies are losing their damn minds! We are coming at ya LIVE from this Tuscany adventure and breaking down what a truly ABSOLUTELY NOT fighting with a tiny asian man at a Gucci Outlet store is. Drinking plenty of Sangiovese and saying Arriverdici to the haters were doing the most on this trip! CIAO BELLA BABY!!!!

 

Go to Fabletics.com/absolutelynot, and get 2 leggings for only $24 ($99 value) when you sign up for a VIP!

 

Produced by Dear Media.

Nov 06, 2019
Ovaries On A Plane
01:02:01
On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather relives her brush with death experience from the past weekend on her Virgin Atlantic flight where her right ovary, legit exploded. The details are so real and raw, you might think you're listening to a live recording of the hit movie "Snakes on a Plane", but no this is just Heather's Life. She is a survivor and warrior goddess who lives to see another day but not without spending 12 hours trapped in a trans-atlantic flight and then being rushed to a London hospital straight from the tarmac. Heather is in her truest dramatic form and has no regrets spilling the literally, juicy details and more! 
 
 
Get your first Just Fab style for as low as $10 as a VIP! That’s 75% off your first item with my special link.​ Just go to JustFab.com/absolutelynot to take advantage of this deal now.
 
For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com/absolutelynot and use promo code absolutelynot during checkout!
 
Download MASSE in the iOS App Store!
 
Produced by Dear Media.
Oct 30, 2019
Florida House Party
01:05:09
On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is in her own personal hell-hole, the State of Florida. Fresh off a college girls reunion and nursing a 3 day old hangover she does the absolute most from her friend's beach house on the sandy strip of 30A. Since she doesn't give a shit about y'all recommendations for guests, she interviews her two besties, Broadway star, Christina Tompkins and comedian Jenny Hurlburt. LIVE FROM FLORIDA! They are old, they are weathered and stuck in a tropical storm! Pop open a white claw and tune in! 
 
Visit lucbelaire.com/absolutely for 30% off your first order! 
 
Visit dhmdetox.com and use code: absolutely at checkout for 20% off your order!
 
Produced by Dear Media. 
 
 
Oct 23, 2019
PRIVATE SCHOOL SAVAGE
01:18:19
On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather sit down with fellow comic, Andrew T Collin. He's one of her new "straight" male friends and she has already made him super uncomfortable with their friendship. They discuss the private school life, losing it all and how they had no clue what Chernobyl was. It's a savage episode of two comics doing the absolute most. Started from the bottom now we are back on Heather's couch. Andrew is a "power jew with soft eyes" says the New York Times, this is an episode you will not wanna miss. 
 
Visit dhmdetox.com and use code: absolutely for 20% off!
 
Go to playabeauty.com and enter code: absolutely for 20% off! 
 
Get 2 pairs of leggings for $24 at fabletics.com/absolutelynot
 
 
 
Oct 16, 2019
Pepper in Your Panties
59:46

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather gets a real kick in the ass when some Sassy Susan has the audacity to chime in on the Italian Stallion. Heather tries to keep it cool but there are more Absolutely Not's in this episode than pregnancy tests at Rutger's after spring break, ya feel me. She is lit up like a Christmas tree on Angel dust and ready to keep it real and her favorite word, RAW. 

 

Produced by Dear Media.

Oct 09, 2019
Ep. 15 Two ole' Power Lesbians
01:08:25

On This weeks episode of Absolutely Not, Heather sits down with comedian Taylor Strecker, who might have an even raspier voice than Heather. They discuss getting in shape, love, life, touring, and late-in-life-lady-loving. Taylor is extra sassy in this episode because she wore a bathing suit as a body-suit and it was clearly cutting off circulation. These ladies started out as sorta-enemies and now are the best of friends, and its very clear from this hour of giggles and shit talking! 

 

Produced by Dear Media.

 

 

Oct 02, 2019
Ep. 14 BIG GIRL CONVERSATION
01:02:54

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, comedian Rosebud Baker visits the studio, aka Heather's living room, to discuss real grown-woman-shit. They discuss diversity in comedy, what it's like to be a woman in the biz and how filtering ourselves will be the death of art. This episode peels back the layers of things we have all thought but needed a safe-space to discuss. Rosebud is a wildly honest, raw and hilarious comic doing the Lord's work for ladies everywhere and she and Heather really get into it You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll probably not want to move to Boston after this. 

 

Produced by Dear Media.

 

Sep 25, 2019
Ep. 13 THE OREGON TRAIL
56:58

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather discuses the life-lessons and survival tactics she picked up from the road. Fresh off the first leg of the "Farewell Tour" Heather breaks down who really shit their pants in Tampa, and how having a safe word is important for everyone. Don't think for two seconds she forgot what happened in Charleston, my little angels. Her voice might be extra raspy but her sassy and attitude are still top notch! 

Get 15% off at foursigmatic.com/absolutelynot

Visit woomoreplay.com and use code: absolutely for 20% off your entire order. 

Get 25% off your first order and a free 30 day trial at thrivemarket.com/absolutelynot

Produced by Dear Media.

 

 

 

Sep 18, 2019
Ep. 12 Italian Stallion Pipes Up
57:27

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Jeff, Heather’s fiancé, joins in on the fun aka he forced her to put him on the pod. They discuss living together, the secrets to not killing each other & take your calls and more from the “Absolutely Not” line! It’s a love fest of salami & chest hair, tune in for the fun!

Sep 11, 2019
Ep. 11 Fourth Grade Enemies with the Founder of Show Me Your Mumu Cammy Miller
53:18

Heather sits down with childhood friend and founder of the fabulous womens-wear brand Show Me Your Mumu. The ladies discuss the rocky start to their friendship in fourth grade, how Cammy built Show Me Your Mumu from her kitchen and their shared dreams of mega stardom!

 

Produced by Dear Media.

Sep 04, 2019
Ep. 10 I'M DONE!!!
45:49

On this weeks episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather has a full blown mental breakdown and says, BYE TO THE HATERZZZZZ.  She is a week out from Tour and truly doing the most. She is cranky, sweaty and her blood sugar is dangerously low. After a night in the ER she gives you a full Wellness Update on what the Dr. said and who hit on her in a Hospital gown. We also take calls from the Absolutely Not Line and more! 

 

www.thrivemarket.com/absolutelynot for 20% off your order and a free 30 day trial!

 

Visit www.woomoreplay.com and use code: absolutely at checkout for 20% off!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Aug 28, 2019
Ep. 09 YA PEAKED with Jamie Greenberg
01:08:14

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, we chat with Heather's OG instagram friend and celebrity makeup artist Jamie Greenburg. This episode isn't just about serums and concealer... oh no ladies and gents, we TALK ALL OF THE THINGS. Growing up on the East Coast, Dead Parents and Mommy Makeovers, because let's not forget who doesn't love a great Beverly Hills plastic surgery moment. Jamie is truly one of the most hilarious guests of all time who has a heart of gold and speaks her mind with no reservations. Oh yeah, and don't worry she is breaks down the latest beauty trends that are ABSOLUTELY NOTS, drum roll please.... COSMIC HIGHLIGHTER and more! 

 

Produced by Dear Media

Aug 21, 2019
Ep. 8 Busy Philipps: Doing the F*cking Most.
47:58

On this episode of ABsolutely Not, Heather sits down with long time friend and possibly long long sister, Busy Philipps to discuss career, manifesting and all things being a bad ass BITCH.  They are old pals from the gym, but this is episode takes a sneak peak into the the real side of Busy who is legit....Busy AF. They take audience questions and hit the "Absolutely Not" line hard and fast. Honestly, no one is safe when these two power blondes take to the hotlines. 

Thanks to our sponsors!

https://woomoreplay.com/discount/absolutely

www.tradesy.com promo code: absolutely

Produced by Dear Media. 

Aug 14, 2019
Ep. 7 Live From Her Mom's Basement... it's Heather McMahan!
01:04:24

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather relishes in the wild two weeks she has had, from co-hosting the Today show, selling out a tour, to ending RIGHT back in her mom's basement sweating her ass off. We have a full Wellness Update on her current detox......aka..She is hungry, Pms'ing and extra sassy this week. We take listener's voice Mails and let Karen know she better TAKE A HIKE, BEYOTCH! Tune in if you want to giggle and bitch about this wild world were living in. 

 

Produced by Dear Media.

Aug 07, 2019
Ep. 6 Glamorous Stroke with Jackie Schimmel of The Bitch Bible
56:07

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather sits down with fellow funny gal, Jackie Schimmel from "The Bitch Bible" and they discuss everything that makes them tick. From adults on adderall to wedding planning woes. They like sensible cars, tipping waiters 20% plus and very dirty martinis. No topic is too taboo for these two. Make sure to pour yourself a bottle of chianti and buckle up because this episode is wilder than an episode of 'Live PD, Daytona Beach'. 

Jul 31, 2019
Ep. 5 Man of Honor
52:16

On this episode or Absolutely Not Heather talks to her bff & arch nemesis Raymond Padilla. He is the Gayle to her Oprah yet he’ll say it’s the other way around. They discuss how they hated each other for the first 5 minutes and the rest is history. He’s her man of honor and Doing the Most.

 

Produced by Dear Media

Jul 24, 2019
Ep. 4 Wellness Update... We Are Unwell
40:02
On this episode of "Absolutely Not" Heather gives a full wellness update on adjusting to life in the hell-hole that is New York City. She breaks down the subway, rat-squirrel combos, her latest eye infection and general discomfort of being allergic to the Northeast. We also hear the hilarious Voice-Mails from fans and call back a hater.... aka Heather's Mom. 
 
Follow @heatherkmcmahan for all the behind the scenes action!
 
Produced by Dear Media.
Jul 17, 2019
Ep. 3 Adam Rippon: The Show Must Go On
57:50

On this episode of Absolutely Not I sit down with Olympic Athlete and all-around hilarious super-star, Adam Rippon. When Adam isn’t on the ice showing everyone “what’s good” he can be seen interviewing a wide-variety of guest on his new YouTube Show “Break The Ice”.  We discuss what it takes to make it to the Olympics and what it is like to ride the rollercoaster of emotion training for the Games. We also discuss how to balance the haters, our mutual love for Celine Dion and what’s next for this super-star on and off the ice!

 

Follow @heatherkmcmahan and @adamrippon for all the behind the scenes action! 

 

Produced by Dear Media.

Jul 10, 2019
Ep. 2 The Devil's Dust
33:50

In this episode, Heather takes calls directly from the Absolutely Not Line, bitches about travel, and convinces you to get "baby botox." Its not for your baby, so relax, CLAIRE. 

Jul 03, 2019
Ep. 1 Jennifer Love Hewitt: We Know What She Did Last Summer
48:15

In this episode we sit down with Heathers fiancé's biggest crush of all time, Jennifer Love Hewitt, to discuss how she went from Kids Incorporated to the a top Hollywood producer and all around bad bitch. We talk love, grief, family and laugh through the pain of Hollywood. 

Jul 03, 2019
Absolutely Not with Heather McMahan Coming July 3!
02:06

Get a sneak peek of Absolutely Not with Heather McMahon! Call in to the Absolutely Not-line at 1-800-213-7503 to leave a voicemail with anything you want Heather to address. Follow all the behind the scenes action on Instagram @heatherkmcmahan and don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss the premiere episodes on July 1!

 

 

Jun 26, 2019