Absolutely Not

By Dear Media

Listen to a podcast, please open Podcast Republic app. Available on Google Play Store.

Category: Comedy

Open in iTunes

Open RSS feed

Open Website

Rate for this podcast

Subscribers: 123
Reviews: 0


"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

Episode Date
A Little Sancerre & DMT

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her T.V. business buddy and fellow creator, Jen Zaborowski.  This episode is a rare-BTS look at a project they've had in thr works but are too afraid to discuss because, well, thats Show Business.  Since Heather deems herself as "White Oprah" it would only be appropriate that she introduces you to her "white Gayle" aka.. JEN. These two talk about hollywood schmucks, Britney spears, private school and how much they hate nannying. After a quick glass of a french Sancerre, these two basically take their tops off and spill all the the dirt. It's wild what two white women will say after a glass of wine! This and more on Absolutely NOT! 


Thanks to our partners:


Head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off.


Get started on Skinsei.com/absolutely with a free diagnostic and get 20% off your first order with code ‘absolutely’.


Shop in-store, online at TheRealReal.com, or download the app, and get 20% off select items with the promo code REAL.


Produced by Dear Media. 

Jan 15, 2020
It Can Only Go Up From Flavor-Town

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off her Mexican vacay with a strong case of diarrhea & more sass than ever. After being completely bamboozled by Guy Fieri at the Cancun Airport, witnessing a full blown drug deal and almost fighting a women doing crunches on the beach, she is back in one-piece in the USA. There is a lot to be grateful for in the New Year, but it also doesn't stop us from remembering where we came from.... ya know the bathroom at the Cancun Airport... did I mention Guy Fieri poisoned me????? All this and more on the latest episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast! 


For $20 off your Buffy bedding, visit Buffy.co and enter​ “absolutely”.


Go to Fabletics.com/absolutelynot to get 2 leggings for only $24 when you sign up as a VIP.


Visit theRealReal.com, promo code REAL for 20% off select items.


Produced by Dear Media.


Jan 08, 2020
Dry Heat
On this Episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather tackles the most complicated and bitchy Voice Mails yet. We wrap up the year with gratitude and lots of grundle sweat coming to ya live from Hot Phoenix Arizona! It has been a full year of absolute abundance and blessings from above but she's also ready for a friggin Margarita. Ya feel me Claire? On this episode ?heather encourages y'all to leave your creepy uncle Dan in 2019 and get those magazine clippings ready for our Vision Board party in 2020. Let's end this year on a high note, doing what we do best, Absolute -Not "ing". 
Dec 25, 2019
SHRED THE GNAR BRAH with Becky Robinson

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather sits down with fellow comedian, Becky Robinson. She is a true ding-dong goof ball in every sense of the word and were are HERE FOR THIS LEVEL OF STUPIDITY. The girls cover all of your pre-holiday needs, butt stuff, relationships, how their upbringings turned them into semi-successful comics and Becky shares about the time she got her mom drunk after a dr.'s  appoitment! All of this and more on the Absolutely Not Podcast! 


Get 30% off your first order by going to LucBelaire.com/ absolutely.


Get 2 leggings for only $24 ($99 value) when you sign up for a VIP- go to Fabletics.com/absolutelynot to to advantage of this deal now!


Go to DollarShaveClub.com/absolutelynot to save on the ultimate shave gift set!


Produced by Dear Media. 

Dec 18, 2019
On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off the 10th leg of the Farewell Tour and sits down with dietitian and health guru Sammy Previte, who is truly trying to make sure Heather survives Road life! Someone has finally got to tell this bitch to put down the hashbrowns and pick up a salad, I mean JEEZ... come on already! Heather gets all the tips and tricks from Sammy and recaps what the last leg of the tour has been like.... just a lil teaser, someone attacks Jeff in Florida, YAY!! This and more on one of the sassiest and raspiest episodes yet! 
Produced by Dear Media.
Dec 11, 2019
On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather has had it up to her flawless eyebrows with idiots this holiday season. It is truly hard to remain calm when you're trying to do the Lord's work but haters wanna hate...... and by haters you mean BEST BUY. Oh...don't even get us started on that bamboozlement! Heather is coming fresh off the Thanksgiving gratitude on a one-way ticket straight to "ABSOLUTELY-NOT-VILLE" and she is here to share it all with you! We also hit the Absolutely Not line for some giggles and a new holiday challenge! #holidaytchotchkechallenge 
Dec 04, 2019
Safety First Leslie
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes a moment to really breakdown what she is grateful for..... and then of course gets right back to bitching. It's been a wild ride on the road hitting 8 new cities in 9 days on tour, and baby does she have some stories for you! Thanksgiving week should be a time of reflection, family and roasting as many folks as possible. We break down all things Tour life and have a go-to-guide on how to survive the upcoming holiday season! Heather also hits the hot line for all of your disgruntled calls! 

Head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "absolutely30” at checkout for 30% off!


Visit Tradesy.com to save fifty dollars on your very first Tradesy purchase when it’s four-hundred dollars or more- just use code 'absolutely' at checkout at Tradesy.com !

For $20 off any suitcase or bag, visit awaytravel.com/absolutelynot and use promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT during checkout!

Nov 27, 2019
The Broadway Gospel Featuring Chris Ketner

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her bestie and Farewell Tour Producer, Chris Ketner to talk about surviving on the road. Chris is a tony award winning producer who now has to shove "pepto" down Heather's throat so she doesn't have a tummy ache on tour. They break down what it truly takes to make it in the "biz" and how the Mayor of Baltimore needs to figure some shit out. Its true Road-warrior Chronicles cause these two are literally DOING THE MOST. Heather also introduces Chris to the Absolutely Not line, and they take a swing at fixing all the world's problems, one Voice Mail at a time. 


Get 30% off your first order by going to LucBelaire.com/absolutely


Just head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order.


Go to uncommongoods.com/absolutely, to receive $5 off your first purchase!


Produced by Dear Media. 

Nov 20, 2019
HIRED BUT TIRED - Heather McMahan and guest, Jeff Daniels

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off her Italy tour and quite honestly, NOT WELL. She is gearing up for the next two weeks on the road and got ahold of some of the Devil's Dust at Walgreens but its spitting hot fire like never before. The Italian Stallion pops in to help her answer some wild Voice Mails from the Absolutely Not Line. The two love birds find out Jeff is actually more of a Ding Dong than we thought but we love him anyways. This and more on the episode! 


​Get your first JustFab style for as low as $10 as a VIP! That’s 75% off your first item with my special link.​ Just go to JustFab.com/absolutelynot !


Visit Tradesy.com to save fifty dollars on your very first Tradesy purchase when it’s four-hundred dollars or more. Use code absolutely at checkout at Tradesy.com!


Listeners get 20% off their DHM Detox order. Just head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout. 
Also, there is free shipping if you buy more than a couple boxes.


Head to www.playabeauty.com and use the code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first order.


Produced by Dear Media. 

Nov 14, 2019
Pi Kappa Pasta

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is coming at ya live from Fonté de Medici out in the sweet rolling hills of Chianti, baby. She is running an entire sorority out of a medieval castle in Tuscany and honestly, these hussies are losing their damn minds! We are coming at ya LIVE from this Tuscany adventure and breaking down what a truly ABSOLUTELY NOT fighting with a tiny asian man at a Gucci Outlet store is. Drinking plenty of Sangiovese and saying Arriverdici to the haters were doing the most on this trip! CIAO BELLA BABY!!!!


Go to Fabletics.com/absolutelynot, and get 2 leggings for only $24 ($99 value) when you sign up for a VIP!


Produced by Dear Media.

Nov 06, 2019
Ovaries On A Plane
On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather relives her brush with death experience from the past weekend on her Virgin Atlantic flight where her right ovary, legit exploded. The details are so real and raw, you might think you're listening to a live recording of the hit movie "Snakes on a Plane", but no this is just Heather's Life. She is a survivor and warrior goddess who lives to see another day but not without spending 12 hours trapped in a trans-atlantic flight and then being rushed to a London hospital straight from the tarmac. Heather is in her truest dramatic form and has no regrets spilling the literally, juicy details and more! 
Get your first Just Fab style for as low as $10 as a VIP! That’s 75% off your first item with my special link.​ Just go to JustFab.com/absolutelynot to take advantage of this deal now.
For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com/absolutelynot and use promo code absolutelynot during checkout!
Download MASSE in the iOS App Store!
Produced by Dear Media.
Oct 30, 2019
Florida House Party
On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is in her own personal hell-hole, the State of Florida. Fresh off a college girls reunion and nursing a 3 day old hangover she does the absolute most from her friend's beach house on the sandy strip of 30A. Since she doesn't give a shit about y'all recommendations for guests, she interviews her two besties, Broadway star, Christina Tompkins and comedian Jenny Hurlburt. LIVE FROM FLORIDA! They are old, they are weathered and stuck in a tropical storm! Pop open a white claw and tune in! 
Visit lucbelaire.com/absolutely for 30% off your first order! 
Visit dhmdetox.com and use code: absolutely at checkout for 20% off your order!
Produced by Dear Media. 
Oct 23, 2019
On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather sit down with fellow comic, Andrew T Collin. He's one of her new "straight" male friends and she has already made him super uncomfortable with their friendship. They discuss the private school life, losing it all and how they had no clue what Chernobyl was. It's a savage episode of two comics doing the absolute most. Started from the bottom now we are back on Heather's couch. Andrew is a "power jew with soft eyes" says the New York Times, this is an episode you will not wanna miss. 
Visit dhmdetox.com and use code: absolutely for 20% off!
Go to playabeauty.com and enter code: absolutely for 20% off! 
Get 2 pairs of leggings for $24 at fabletics.com/absolutelynot
Oct 16, 2019
Pepper in Your Panties

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather gets a real kick in the ass when some Sassy Susan has the audacity to chime in on the Italian Stallion. Heather tries to keep it cool but there are more Absolutely Not's in this episode than pregnancy tests at Rutger's after spring break, ya feel me. She is lit up like a Christmas tree on Angel dust and ready to keep it real and her favorite word, RAW. 


Produced by Dear Media.

Oct 09, 2019
Ep. 15 Two ole' Power Lesbians

On This weeks episode of Absolutely Not, Heather sits down with comedian Taylor Strecker, who might have an even raspier voice than Heather. They discuss getting in shape, love, life, touring, and late-in-life-lady-loving. Taylor is extra sassy in this episode because she wore a bathing suit as a body-suit and it was clearly cutting off circulation. These ladies started out as sorta-enemies and now are the best of friends, and its very clear from this hour of giggles and shit talking! 


Produced by Dear Media.



Oct 02, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, comedian Rosebud Baker visits the studio, aka Heather's living room, to discuss real grown-woman-shit. They discuss diversity in comedy, what it's like to be a woman in the biz and how filtering ourselves will be the death of art. This episode peels back the layers of things we have all thought but needed a safe-space to discuss. Rosebud is a wildly honest, raw and hilarious comic doing the Lord's work for ladies everywhere and she and Heather really get into it You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll probably not want to move to Boston after this. 


Produced by Dear Media.


Sep 25, 2019

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather discuses the life-lessons and survival tactics she picked up from the road. Fresh off the first leg of the "Farewell Tour" Heather breaks down who really shit their pants in Tampa, and how having a safe word is important for everyone. Don't think for two seconds she forgot what happened in Charleston, my little angels. Her voice might be extra raspy but her sassy and attitude are still top notch! 

Get 15% off at foursigmatic.com/absolutelynot

Visit woomoreplay.com and use code: absolutely for 20% off your entire order. 

Get 25% off your first order and a free 30 day trial at thrivemarket.com/absolutelynot

Produced by Dear Media.




Sep 18, 2019
Ep. 12 Italian Stallion Pipes Up

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Jeff, Heather’s fiancé, joins in on the fun aka he forced her to put him on the pod. They discuss living together, the secrets to not killing each other & take your calls and more from the “Absolutely Not” line! It’s a love fest of salami & chest hair, tune in for the fun!

Sep 11, 2019
Ep. 11 Fourth Grade Enemies with the Founder of Show Me Your Mumu Cammy Miller

Heather sits down with childhood friend and founder of the fabulous womens-wear brand Show Me Your Mumu. The ladies discuss the rocky start to their friendship in fourth grade, how Cammy built Show Me Your Mumu from her kitchen and their shared dreams of mega stardom!


Produced by Dear Media.

Sep 04, 2019
Ep. 10 I'M DONE!!!

On this weeks episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather has a full blown mental breakdown and says, BYE TO THE HATERZZZZZ.  She is a week out from Tour and truly doing the most. She is cranky, sweaty and her blood sugar is dangerously low. After a night in the ER she gives you a full Wellness Update on what the Dr. said and who hit on her in a Hospital gown. We also take calls from the Absolutely Not Line and more! 


www.thrivemarket.com/absolutelynot for 20% off your order and a free 30 day trial!


Visit www.woomoreplay.com and use code: absolutely at checkout for 20% off!


Produced by Dear Media. 

Aug 28, 2019
Ep. 09 YA PEAKED with Jamie Greenberg

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, we chat with Heather's OG instagram friend and celebrity makeup artist Jamie Greenburg. This episode isn't just about serums and concealer... oh no ladies and gents, we TALK ALL OF THE THINGS. Growing up on the East Coast, Dead Parents and Mommy Makeovers, because let's not forget who doesn't love a great Beverly Hills plastic surgery moment. Jamie is truly one of the most hilarious guests of all time who has a heart of gold and speaks her mind with no reservations. Oh yeah, and don't worry she is breaks down the latest beauty trends that are ABSOLUTELY NOTS, drum roll please.... COSMIC HIGHLIGHTER and more! 


Produced by Dear Media

Aug 21, 2019
Ep. 8 Busy Philipps: Doing the F*cking Most.

On this episode of ABsolutely Not, Heather sits down with long time friend and possibly long long sister, Busy Philipps to discuss career, manifesting and all things being a bad ass BITCH.  They are old pals from the gym, but this is episode takes a sneak peak into the the real side of Busy who is legit....Busy AF. They take audience questions and hit the "Absolutely Not" line hard and fast. Honestly, no one is safe when these two power blondes take to the hotlines. 

Thanks to our sponsors!


www.tradesy.com promo code: absolutely

Produced by Dear Media. 

Aug 14, 2019
Ep. 7 Live From Her Mom's Basement... it's Heather McMahan!

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather relishes in the wild two weeks she has had, from co-hosting the Today show, selling out a tour, to ending RIGHT back in her mom's basement sweating her ass off. We have a full Wellness Update on her current detox......aka..She is hungry, Pms'ing and extra sassy this week. We take listener's voice Mails and let Karen know she better TAKE A HIKE, BEYOTCH! Tune in if you want to giggle and bitch about this wild world were living in. 


Produced by Dear Media.

Aug 07, 2019
Ep. 6 Glamorous Stroke with Jackie Schimmel of The Bitch Bible

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather sits down with fellow funny gal, Jackie Schimmel from "The Bitch Bible" and they discuss everything that makes them tick. From adults on adderall to wedding planning woes. They like sensible cars, tipping waiters 20% plus and very dirty martinis. No topic is too taboo for these two. Make sure to pour yourself a bottle of chianti and buckle up because this episode is wilder than an episode of 'Live PD, Daytona Beach'. 

Jul 31, 2019
Ep. 5 Man of Honor

On this episode or Absolutely Not Heather talks to her bff & arch nemesis Raymond Padilla. He is the Gayle to her Oprah yet he’ll say it’s the other way around. They discuss how they hated each other for the first 5 minutes and the rest is history. He’s her man of honor and Doing the Most.


Produced by Dear Media

Jul 24, 2019
Ep. 4 Wellness Update... We Are Unwell
On this episode of "Absolutely Not" Heather gives a full wellness update on adjusting to life in the hell-hole that is New York City. She breaks down the subway, rat-squirrel combos, her latest eye infection and general discomfort of being allergic to the Northeast. We also hear the hilarious Voice-Mails from fans and call back a hater.... aka Heather's Mom. 
Follow @heatherkmcmahan for all the behind the scenes action!
Produced by Dear Media.
Jul 17, 2019
Ep. 3 Adam Rippon: The Show Must Go On

On this episode of Absolutely Not I sit down with Olympic Athlete and all-around hilarious super-star, Adam Rippon. When Adam isn’t on the ice showing everyone “what’s good” he can be seen interviewing a wide-variety of guest on his new YouTube Show “Break The Ice”.  We discuss what it takes to make it to the Olympics and what it is like to ride the rollercoaster of emotion training for the Games. We also discuss how to balance the haters, our mutual love for Celine Dion and what’s next for this super-star on and off the ice!


Follow @heatherkmcmahan and @adamrippon for all the behind the scenes action! 


Produced by Dear Media.

Jul 10, 2019
Ep. 2 The Devil's Dust

In this episode, Heather takes calls directly from the Absolutely Not Line, bitches about travel, and convinces you to get "baby botox." Its not for your baby, so relax, CLAIRE. 

Jul 03, 2019
Ep. 1 Jennifer Love Hewitt: We Know What She Did Last Summer

In this episode we sit down with Heathers fiancé's biggest crush of all time, Jennifer Love Hewitt, to discuss how she went from Kids Incorporated to the a top Hollywood producer and all around bad bitch. We talk love, grief, family and laugh through the pain of Hollywood. 

Jul 03, 2019
Absolutely Not with Heather McMahan Coming July 3!

Get a sneak peek of Absolutely Not with Heather McMahan! Call in to the Absolutely Not-line at 1-800-213-7503 to leave a voicemail with anything you want Heather to address. Follow all the behind the scenes action on Instagram @heatherkmcmahan and don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss the premiere episodes on July 3!



Jun 26, 2019