Newcomers: The Lord of the Rings, with Lauren Lapkus and Nicole Byer

By Headgum

Listen to a podcast, please open Podcast Republic app. Available on Google Play Store.


Category: TV & Film

Open in Apple Podcasts


Open RSS feed


Open Website


Rate for this podcast

Subscribers: 825
Reviews: 4


 Oct 21, 2020


 Sep 2, 2020


 Jul 21, 2020


 Mar 15, 2020

Description

Sometimes we miss things. For Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus, those things are most every deeply popular sci-fi or fantasy series out there. In Season 1, Nicole and Lauren got a crash course in Star Wars. For Season 2, they’re venturing into The Lord of the Rings. Join Nicole and Lauren as they get to know the ins and outs of elvish, hobbit feet, and some all powerful ring.


Episode Date
Memes and Parodies Pt. 2 (w/ Jessica McKenna)
01:00:48

Lauren and Nicole are joined by actress and comedian Jessica McKenna (Off Book: The Improvised Musical) for some more Lord of the Rings memes and parodies!

The three take a peek at Aragorn's text messages, compare Saruman to a shampoo bottle, and watch Orlando Bloom himself imitate a popular song entirely based around a single Legolas line from the films.


Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.


Sources for this episode:

The voting is over. It's done.

Warner Bros. padding out the Hobbit films

Are you on your phone while Théoden mourns?

Saruman the shampoo bottle

Aragorn's DMs

Trilogy Recap Rap

They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard

"Hobbits to Isengard" but it's Orlando



Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Nov 24, 2020
LOTR Fanfiction Pt. 2 (w/ Molly Ostertag)
01:06:17

It's about that time again! In Part 2 of Lord of the Rings fanfiction, Lauren and Nicole are joined by graphic novelist and writer, Molly Ostertag, to get weird, goofy, creepy, and super cute with a fresh batch of fics.

This round of fanfics truly runs the gamut of genres and moods. From the antics of Peepee the small stupid hobbit, to Lady Gollum's pursuit of rings and love, to (of course) some Sam and Frodo slash, there's sure to be a little something for everyone here.


Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.


Sources for this episode:

The LOTR-themed military spy satellite


Fan Fics:

The Very Secret Diary of Gandalf the Grey

The Mellon Chronicles Excerpt

A Royal Wedding Night



Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Nov 17, 2020
The Hunt for Gollum (w/ Eva Anderson)
01:08:04

Now that they're out of the woods of the challenging and bizarre Lord of the Rings animation trilogy, Lauren and Nicole suddenly find themselves... in more woods. Fan-made woods, that is! Joined by writer Eva Anderson (Comedy Bang! Bang!, You're The Worst), the three take a detour into the popular 2009 Lord of the Rings fan film, The Hunt for Gollum.

Eva holds nothing back as she tells the tale of her break in at a magical, now defunct place known as Hobbiton, USA, and even reveals a certain precious someone she has tattooed on her. The three ponder what film and TV universes they would make their own fan films about, Nicole dishes out a hot take comparing fan-made Arwen with the Peter Jackson version, and Lauren just wants to get to the bottom of who is in the bag when Gollum is captured and wriggling around in it. "Internet, tell us who's in that bag!"


Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.


Sources for this episode:

Watch The Hunt For Gollum here

Sean Connery could have been Gandalf

Article about Hobbiton, USA

Witness the Gollum diorama in Hobbiton

Trivia from IMDb

Trivia from Fandom.com

Trivia from Wikipedia


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Nov 10, 2020
The Return of the King - 1980 animated version (w/ Miel Bredouw)
01:00:21

The third and final pillar of the Lord of the Rings "animation trilogy" has been vanquished by Lauren and Nicole, with the aid of fellow Headgum podcaster, comedian and musician Miel Bredouw (Punch Up the Jam, Camp Unplug). The trio dive deep into this 1980 musical television film version of The Return of the King and decry the ugliness of all the characters (except Éowyn, who is super hot), note the ableism against Frodo masked under an awful folk tune, and ponder what it is about this franchise that keeps fans returning to these films time and time again. Okay, maybe not returning to this one specifically, but, yeah... Also, it finally happened, Lauren tells us how she recently dropped her first Lord of the Rings reference in real life! Are you happy now? She's very upset about this.


Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.


Sources for this episode:

The Gollum fish

Trivia from IMDb

Trivia from TvTropes.org


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Nov 03, 2020
The Lord of the Rings - 1978 animated version (w/ Michelle Collins)
00:59:00

Trudging ever onward through the deep cuts of the LOTR franchise, Lauren and Nicole bring along comedian and talk show host Michelle Collins (The Michelle Collins Show, Midnight Snack with Michelle Collins) to experience and help piece together the trippy and sometimes terrifying Ralph Bakshi animated film from 1978, simply known as The Lord of the Rings.

The three begin on common ground, airing out their mixed opinions about this film and fawning over Gandy and how much of his, um, Gandy-ness could fill his wizard cap. But then a tussle breaks out as Nicole throws more shade on Gollum, and Michelle comes to his aid! In the end, they all put aside their differences and try to decipher where Peter Jackson is from. He's Australian, right? Or... British or something?


Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.


Sources for this episode:

Sean Astin announces 4K HD release of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings trilogies


Mick Jagger seriously wanted to play Frodo


More news on the nudity/sex rumors in the Amazon series


Trivia from Fandom.com


Trivia from MovieMistakes


Trivia from ScreenRant



Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Oct 27, 2020
The Hobbit - 1977 animated version (w/ Oscar Montoya)
01:09:28

Actor and comedian Oscar Montoya (Spanish Aqui Presents, Inside The Disney Vault) joins Lauren and Nicole to begin the hosts' first foray into the world of animated Lord of the Rings content, starting with the American musical television special from 1977, The Hobbit.

Oscar brings his obsession for animation along with him to explain his love for this movie, draw comparisons between this film's style with Disney's, and whether he thinks this story warrants more than the 77 minutes this animated version of The Hobbit offers (looking at you, 9 hour live-action versions...). The three break down the differences between this version and the Peter Jackson trilogy, and suss out which one comes out on top!


Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.


Sources for this episode:

Article on Amazon series nudity rumors

Trivia from IMDb

Trivia from Fandom.com


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Oct 20, 2020
Tolkien (w/ Mike Castle)
01:09:20

Welp, we were sort of wrong to think there would be a lot of insights into the world of The Lord of the Rings in store for us with the 2019 biopic, Tolkien. But though it was a dry well to draw from, Lauren and Nicole still managed to enjoy some thought-provoking conversations with actor and writer Mike Castle (Brews Brothers, Clipped) around the concepts of separating the art from the artist, whether spoilers for a story are a good or bad thing, and the glamorization and embellishments that biopics often indulge in. The trio even display their most pretentious voices possible to set the record straight on this film with some snooty fact-checking!


Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.


Sources for this episode:

Miniature Hobbiton Display

Fact Check article 1

Fact Check article 2

Trivia from IMDb


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Oct 13, 2020
Memes, Parodies, and More (w/ Paul Scheer)
01:12:45

After finishing both Peter Jackson trilogies, Lauren and Nicole are ready to decompress, have a laugh, and perhaps even learn a thing or two in this episode of Newcomers all about the memes, parodies, and other bits and bobs that have cropped up over the years surrounding the Lord of the Rings franchise.

Joined by actor, comedian and podcaster Paul Scheer (The League, Black Monday, How Did This Get Made?), the three will navigate all sorts of hilarity, ranging from comparisons between Gandalf and Betty White, to oddly relevant and topical jabs at peoples' responses to COVID-19. Later, Paul will introduce Lauren and Nicole to the deepest of deep cuts: rare footage of another well-known pointy-eared hero of pop culture singing a ballad for our dear Biblo, er... Diplo, er... Bilbo Baggins!


Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.


Sources for this episode:

Amazon's Lord of the Rings production article

Betty White and the Balrog

Normal People vs. People with COVID-19

Let Boromir borrow it

Some form of Selfish

Denethor and the Tomato

A Simple Walk Into Mordor

Veggietales - Lord of the Beans

"Frodo, Don't Wear the Ring"

"The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins"



Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Oct 06, 2020
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (w/ Zach Reino)
01:11:14

Actor, writer and podcaster Zach Reino (A.P. Bio, Off Book: The Improvised Musical) joins Lauren and Nicole to close out the rollercoaster that has been the Hobbit trilogy with a deep dive into The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies.

With Zach's musical prowess, the three work together to devise the greatest LOTR musical ever, with one idea just being Bilbo asking/singing for his stuff back from his neighbors the whole time. They also do their actual very best to decipher who all five of the armies are, and to comprehend how Benedict Cumberbatch could have possibly provided a motion capture performance for a gigantic dragon. Stick around to find out if Lauren regrets her fulfilled wish of some dwarves being killed off!


Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.


Sources for this episode:

GameRant article on the Gollum video game

Benedict Cumberbatch's MoCap session as Smaug

Trivia from MovieMistakes.com

Trivia from IMDb


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Sep 29, 2020
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug w/ (Karen Han)
01:11:23

Moving on to what the trio will summarize as "The Dead Man's Chest of The Hobbit series", Lauren and Nicole are joined by writer and entertainment reporter Karen Han to shake off the liquid gold and hash out what they just experienced in the second installment of The Hobbit series, The Desolation of Smaug.

The three note the dramatically different portrayals of violence between the first and second movie, consider if a romantic interest's DISinterest in your favorite movies is ever a dealbreaker, and confess their struggle to feel invested in any of these characters unless they look like celebrities they know, or are Bilbo, sometimes. Kind of.


Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.


Sources for this episode:

Amazon TV series news article by Radio Times

Trivia from Warped Factor


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Sep 22, 2020
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (w/ Jon Braylock)
01:14:01

Moving on from the acclaimed The Lord of the Rings trilogy and buckling in for an all new (and again, very long) adventure, Lauren and Nicole are joined by comedian/writer/actor Jon Braylock (Astronomy Club, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt) to begin The Hobbit prequel trilogy, starting with An Unexpected Journey.

The three ponder how on earth Peter Jackson was able to stretch out a short children's book into the three-pronged behemoth the film adaptations became, while also learning that it was an absolute nightmare to create. We also learn about Lauren's early history with The Hobbit, where as a child she performed, as she describes, "as one of those three disgusting, naked things" in one of her first ever plays. Later on, we hear why Nicole thinks Sauron and Saruman should be called Carl and Gary instead. Hopelessly mixed emotions abound with this first installment of The Hobbit trilogy!


Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.


Sources for this episode:

Article on The Hobbit's production chaos

Trivia from IMDb


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Sep 15, 2020
The Lord of the Rings Fanfiction (w/ Preeti Chhibber)
01:08:02

Having just finished their first watch through of the acclaimed Peter Jackson trilogy, Lauren and Nicole are joined this week by author, speaker and writer, Preeti Chhibber, to spend some time exploring the world of The Lord of the Rings fanfiction.

The trio navigate stories of varying excitement and severity, discovering their limits in both directions, from too tame to WAY too much. And, of course, they've written a few stories of their own. It's time to make things weird all over again with this new franchise! You knew this was coming...


Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.


Sources for this episode:

Orlando Bloom interview

Preeti's article on (and picture of) Sidharth Malhotra, Indian Elf


Fan Fics:

The Steward's Sons

A Little Care

My Birthday Present



Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Sep 08, 2020
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (w/ Gaby Paiella and Callie Beusman)
01:04:01

Lauren and Nicole are joined by writers and LOTR fanatics Gaby Paiella (GQ) and Callie Beusman (The Cut) to close out the final installment of the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Return of the King.

The four of them venture fearlessly into topics of conversation such as who in the Fellowship has Big Dick Energy, why Callie thinks the Director's Cut is the only way to go (it has a lot to do with a particularly goofy-looking orc), the continued dissection of how the film creates such extreme illusions of size and proportion in characters, pondering why this franchise gets such universal acclaim versus all the backlash Star Wars constantly receives, and also, "Who the f*** is the Witch King!?"

Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.

Sources for this episode:

"Which Lord of the Rings Characters Have Big Dick Energy?" article

Gaby's article on Vanessa Hudgens' Lord of the Rings themed birthday party

Trivia from IMDB

Trivia from MovieMistakes.com

Trivia from Mental Floss


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Sep 01, 2020
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (w/ Mary Holland)
01:07:27

Helping Nicole and Lauren make sense of and, dare we say, enjoy, Peter Jackson's second installment of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Two Towers, is Mary Holland (Comedy Central's Robbie / Jedi Temple Challenge).

Listen in as they hash out points of varying importance such as how flawless Gandalf the White's new hair is, the finer details of Elven love and aging, the baffling games the films play on our perception of characters' sizes, and Mary's command of the Elvish language.

Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.

Sources for this episode:

Trivia from Screen Rant

Trivia from Mental Floss


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Aug 25, 2020
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (w/ Jon Gabrus)
00:59:09

Nicole and Lauren embark on their epic journey across Middle-earth, discussing the first installment of Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Fellowship of the Ring.

Your hosts can't do it alone, though. Jon Gabrus (The High & Mighty, The Action Boyz) returns to the pod to guide his friends through the first steps of their quest. And if you thought the #1 fuccboi nerded-out hard with Star Wars, you've heard nothing yet. Nothing.

Sure, they discuss the plot, but that's secondary to the important stuff: Who in the Fellowship is a daddy? What are they smoking in those pipes? Why do the wizards have a breakdance fight? What are any of these characters' names? Why is everyone white? Where the hell is Gollum?

Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what LOTR media you'd like the series to cover.

Sources for this episode:

Fellowship of the Ring Trivia from IMDB


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Aug 18, 2020
Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus are watching Lord of the Rings! (Trailer)
00:01:02

Nicole and Lauren are back at it again with experiencing more critical pop culture for the first time. In season 2 of Newcomers, they'll be taking on The Lord of the Rings, starting with the Peter Jackson trilogy!


Joined by their own fellowship of LOTR fans, ranging from fellow comedians to creators involved in the franchise, Nicole and Lauren will be in good company, being guided both safely and absurdly through their new journey to Middle-Earth.


Subscribe today and catch the first episode of the new season, launching 8/18!


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Aug 14, 2020
Spaceballs (w/ Mary Holland and Ahmed Best)
01:11:36

To celebrate our Star Wars finale, we're joined by Ahmed Best (voice of Jar Jar Binks) and Mary Holland (voice of AD-3 droid) to talk about your top movie suggestion - the 1987 Mel Brooks satire film Spaceballs. Mary and Ahmed also discuss what it's like hosting the new children's Star Wars game show series, Jedi Temple Challenge. Plus, Ahmed shares the incredible audition process behind Jar Jar, how it caused a rift between him and Michael Jackson, and what it's like working with George Lucas.

Sources for this episode:

Bob It! Baby Yoda

Spaceballs Trivia from IMDB

Also, we announce what we're covering for season two! So stay subscribed to this same feed, we'll have new episodes releasing later this summer. Thanks for listening!


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm


Jun 30, 2020
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (w/ Preeti Chhibber)
01:06:20

Star Wars author Preeti Chhibber (The Clone Wars Anthology, A Jedi You Will Be) joins Nicole and Lauren to break down the critically acclaimed series finale to Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Have Nicole and Lauren been gaslit into liking Star Wars? Is baby Yoda not who we thought he was? Plus more Hoth Goss about 90 Day Fiancé, Disneyland reopening, and how to become a writer for Disney.

Looking to watch before listening? Here are the episodes we cover:

S1E19 - Storm Over Ryloth

S5E20 - The Wrong Jedi

S7E9 - Old Friends Not Forgotten 

S7E10 - The Phantom Apprentice

S7E11 - Shattered 

S7E12 - Victory and Death

Media mentioned in this episode:

Stormtroopers enforcing social distancing at Disney Springs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cCmJX7fOmU

Preeti's Baby Yoda celebrating May the 4th

https://twitter.com/runwithskizzers/status/1257308111263522816

George Lucas watching Ewan Mcgregor get a haircut

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFvTkUOo1uI

The Clone Wars MOCAP fight sequence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzYyJa2Upas

Beat Saber gameplay

https://twitter.com/MarsMel/status/1271951033678389248


We'll be back in two weeks for our Star Wars season finale.


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Jun 16, 2020
Ewok Adventures (w/ Joel Kim Booster)
00:59:24

Have Lauren and Nicole changed their tune on Ewoks? Comedian and Star Wars superfan Joel Kim Booster (Sunnyside, Singled Out) joins us to break down the 2 Ewok movies from the 80's: 'Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure' and 'Ewoks: The Battle for Endor'.

Next episode, we watch the series premiere and 4-part finale of The Clone Wars.

Please donate to organizations fighting against racism and police brutality. Click here to donate.

Sources this episode:

Ewok Adventures Trivia

The Battle for Endor Trivia


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Jun 03, 2020
Black Lives Matter
00:01:28

We stand together with the Black community and against racism, bigotry, and violence. Today, Headgum is taking part in “Black Out Tuesday”, to show solidarity and use our platform to fight against racial inequality.

What can you do on Tuesday, June 2, 2020?

  • Be an ally and engage in anti-racism. Here are some resources.
  • Help the family of George Floyd HERE.
  • Fight for Breonna Taylor HERE.
  • Help the family of Ahmaud Arbery HERE.
  • Want to help protesters? Donate to one or more community bail funds HERE.
  • Visit Movement For Black Lives for additional ways you can help the cause.
  • Want to connect with leaders building grass roots campaigns? Click HERE.


EDIT: Headgum has matched $10,000! Please continue to donate in support of organizations fighting against racism and police brutality. Here's where you can donate.

We’ll be back tomorrow covering the 2 Ewok movies from the 80’s with Joel Kim Booster. It’s great. But until then, the show must be paused. 

#BlackLivesMatter #TheShowMustBePaused

Jun 02, 2020
The Mandalorian (w/ Griffin Newman & David Sims)
01:08:31

It's Baby Yoda time! Co-hosts of Blank Check, Griffin Newman (actor/comedian, The Tick) and David Sims (Film critic, writer for The Atlantic) join us to tackle episodes 1-3 of The Mandalorian series on Disney+. They break down how Disney avoided Baby Yoda spoilers, explain the 2-person puppetry behind it, and share their overall LOVE for The Child. They maybe even convinced Nicole and Lauren to keep watching?

Plus a bonus POST ROLL: Talking about Amanda Bynes' thirst, Drake's purse collection, and our wikiFeet ratings.

Links for this episode

Baby Yoda Moms Tweet (since deleted)

Griffin Newman's Watto Costume


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

May 19, 2020
Star Wars Day & Star Wars Toys! (w/ Connor Ratliff)
01:16:16

May the 4th be with you! Okay, we're a day late but we still want to celebrate. To retrospect the Skywalker Saga and break down the significance of Star Wars Day, George Lucas impersonator Connor Ratliff (from The George Lucas Talk Show, & the Dead Eyes podcast) joins us! Connor explains why the movies are great but don't make sense, gives insightful advice how everyone can enjoy the series, and pop quizzes the girls on their newfound Star Wars knowledge.

Later, we explore the Star Wars media even bigger than the films.... the toys! We talk about how Star Wars toys revolutionized the toy industry, the 'holy grail' of Star Wars toys, and the drama associated with licensing them.

Plus, the girls are really, really, excited that Oprah Magazine named Newcomers one of their top 25 comedy podcasts to binge, so expect a lot of hot Oprah talk.

Check out Connor's Headgum podcast Dead Eyes - where he investigates why Tom Hanks fired him from a small role in Band of Brothers.

Stick around for the post-roll for a clip of Nicole being quizzed about Star Wars on The George Lucas Talk Show from 2015. We're off next week - see you the following Tuesday!

Sources for this episode:

The Toys That Made Us - Star Wars

Vintage Kenner Star Wars Toys Commercials

R2-D2 Abilities

Star Wars Merch Revenue

History of Star Wars Toys

Jar Jar Binks Lollipop


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

May 05, 2020
Star Wars: Ep. IX - The Rise of Skywalker (w/ Matt Gourley)
00:52:01

It's the final film of the Star Wars saga! Matt Gourley (Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, Superego) joins us to answer our questions about the highly divisive Rise of Skywalker film. Who did Palpatine sleep with? Why is it dangerous for a droid to speak Sith? Will this really be the last film? Plus, Matt also explains all the cool puppeteering used in the film, the hot multiple romances going on, and so much more!

Check out Matt Gourley new podcast - Bonanas for Bonanza with Andy Daly and Maria Banford.

And finally, May the 4th be with you! Next week is Star Wars week and we want to celebrate everything around the franchise. Let us know what you'd like us to cover in your review for the show.

Sources for this episode:

Rise of Skywalker Plot

MovieMistakes (Trivia)

Rise of Skywalker IMDB (Trivia)

RogerEbert.com Review

The Guardian Review


Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fm

Apr 28, 2020
More Star Wars Fanfiction (w/ Betsy Sodaro)
00:49:13

After popular demand, we're back reading all new Star Wars fanfiction! Comedian & writer Betsy Sodaro (host of A Funny Feeling, voice on Duncanville) joins us to read our new original stories, and a few fanfic from the web. Warning, this episode is very, very NSFW.

Listen to our first fanfiction episode here.

Fan Fictions

If It Weren’t for the Falcon by reylolove44

Star Wars: The Deceived by Darth Vicium

Next week - we complete the sequel trilogy with Rise of Skywalker.

Sponsor:

Care/Of: Get 50% off your first order at TakeCareoOf.com and enter code newcomers50.

ManscapedGet 20% off and free shipping with the code NEWCOMERS at Manscaped.com

Apr 21, 2020
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (w/ Mano Agapion)
00:58:48

Who's cashing the check for these CGI'd actors? Can they just screenshot a hologram? Why is the Star Wars timeline so convoluted?? We've got questions after watching Rogue One, the first Star Wars spin-off film. Nicole's podcasting co-host Mano Agapion (host of Drag Her, We Love Trash) joins us to answer all of our burning questions! Plus, Lauren finds a meditative use in the Force, and Nicole's losing track between the white woman of Star Wars.

Like Newcomers? Enter the 5-Star Wars by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast platform. Let us know ideas for your dream Star Wars fan fiction!

Sponsor:

ManscapedGet 20% off and free shipping with the code NEWCOMERS at Manscaped.com

Sources for this episode:

Rogue One Film Summary

Trivia

RogerEbert.com Review

Apr 14, 2020
Solo: A Star Wars Story (w/ Shaun Diston)
01:01:10

Is this the Star Wars love story we've been waiting for? Did Lando fuck his droid? What the heck is a parsec? Today, self-proclaimed "Human version of Jar Jar Binks" Shaun Diston (Wrecked, George Lucas Talk Show) joins us to break down the 2018 Han Solo spin-off film, Solo: A Star Wars Story. He explains what lead Disney to fire the 2 original directors months into filming, all the sneaky little details in the film, and the importance of "Who shot first?" for Star Wars fans.

Stay inside, everybody!

Like this show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast platform. Let us know what Star Wars media you'd like us to cover on a future episode.

Sponsor:

ManscapeGet 20% off and free shipping with the code NEWCOMERS at Manscaped.com

Sources for this episode

Solo Film Summary

Solo IMDB Trivia

Solo Movie Mistakes

The Guardian Review

CNET Review

Apr 07, 2020
Star Wars: Ep. VIII - The Last Jedi (w/ Demi Adejuyigbe)
00:48:52

Comedian & Star Wars dork Demi Adejuyigbe (The Late Late Show with James Corden, Punch Up The Jam) joins us for the highly anticipated Star Wars episode, The Last Jedi. We talk about all the new cute alien species, secret guest stars, and overall wild horniness of the film. Plus, Demi pitches his BB-8 spinoff movie idea, and dispenses us with so much Star Wars trivia!

Stay safe, and stay at home everybody!

Sponsor:

Helix Sleep: Get up to $200 dollars off all mattress orders and two free pillows at helixsleep.com/newcomers.

Sources for this episode:

The Last Jedi Film Summary

The Last Jedi Trivia

Forbes Review

The Daily Beast Review

The Guardian Review

Mar 31, 2020
Star Wars: Ep. VII - The Force Awakens (w/ Paul F. Tompkins)
01:02:22

We are in quarantine, but that won't stop us from podcasting! Paul F. Tompkins (Threedom, The Neighborhood Listen) joins us remotely to break down the first installment in the Star Wars sequel trilogy. We discuss the Kylo Ren backstory we wanted to see, all of the hot Star Wars daddies, and play Fuck, Marry, Kill with the Chewbacca family. Plus, Paul shares his experience meeting Harrison Ford, and we all talk about how self isolation is driving us crazy.

Watch our reactions to The Force Awakens movie trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TH1ZF0mhRrk

Sponsor:

EveryPlate - Get 3 weeks of meals for only $2.99 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com and entering code newcomers3.

Sources for this episode:

The Force Awakens IMDB

The Force Awakens Metacritic

The Hollywood Reporter Review

The Guardian Review

Roger Ebert Review

Mar 23, 2020
Star Wars Ep. III - Revenge of the Sith (w/ Andy Daly)
01:10:11

Comedian and Star Wars fan Andy Daly (Veep, Big Mouth, Review) joins us to break down the final film of the prequel series: Revenge of the Sith. Andy shares his experience growing up as an obsessed fan, how George Lucas would segregate Star Wars superfans, and the logistical problems with the prequel's technology.

Plus, Lauren's starting to love the Jedi way, Nicole cracks the Skywalker family lineage, and they both offer their punched up version of the prequels.

Order the complete Review series on DVD here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B084Z4JQF4/

Like this show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast platform. Let us know what Star Wars media you'd like us to cover on a future episode.

Sources for this episode:

Revenge of the Sith IMDB

Revenge of the Sith Wookieepedia

Revenge of the Sith Movie Mistakes

Mar 17, 2020
The Star Wars Holiday Special (w/ Oscar Montoya)
01:04:18

This holiday special is so terrible that once it aired, George Lucas made sure it could never broadcast again. On this episode of Newcomers, we take a quick break from finishing the prequel series to review the absolute fever dream that is the Star Wars Holiday Special from 1978. This film has it all- a sci-fi drag queen, hypnotic Wookiee porn, fascist themes, and queer canon?! Oscar Montoya (host of Spanish Aqui Presents, Inside the Disney Vault, & voice on Fox's Inside The Heart) joins us to break it all down. Plus, we listen to the song "What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)" from the Star Wars Christmas Album, "Christmas in the Stars".

Watch the Star Wars Holiday Special here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hH8rxarVG8

Like this show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast platform. Let us know what Star Wars media you'd like us to cover on a future episode.

Sources for this episode:

The Star Wars Holiday Special Wookieepedia

IMDB - Holiday Special Trivia

CNET Review

Reelviews Review

What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)


Mar 10, 2020
Star Wars Ep. II - Attack of the Clones (w/ Mike Mitchell)
01:10:44

Oh boy, this film was so bad that Nicole and Lauren are regretting doing this podcast. Mike Mitchell (Love, Doughboys podcast) joins us in an attempt to defend what is universally considered the worst prequel in Star Wars. They discuss the odd dialogue, lack of Jar Jar Binks, and questionable romance subplot. Plus, the girls fantasize about 69-ing the sexy Kaminoan alien race, Mike shares some pornographic Star Wars images, and breaks down how Star Wars fans are so divided.

Check out Mike Mitchell's other Headgum podcast, Doughboys.

Sources for this episode:

Jar Jar Binks on set photo

Movie Mistakes Attack of the Clones trivia

Attack of the Clones IMDB

Attack of the Clones Wookieepedia

Roger Ebert Review

Rolling Stone Review

Mar 03, 2020
Star Wars Ep. I - The Phantom Menace (w/ Nick Wiger)
00:56:01

In a shocking turn of events, Nicole and Lauren are now Star Wars heads? Phantom Menace stan Nick Wiger (Doughboys, How Did This Get Played) joins them to recounts the historical hype for Ep. I, Liam Neeson's rumored huge dick, lightsaber continuity between trilogies, and their love/hate for the new CG look of the series. Plus, the girls rank the all Star Wars films they've seen so far.

Be sure to check out Nick's other Headgum podcast - Doughboys.

Like this show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and write in the review what Star Wars media you'd like us to cover.

Sources for this episode:

The Phantom Menace Wookieepedia

Roger Ebert Review

Rolling Stone Review

The Phantom Menace Production Facts

Feb 25, 2020
Star Wars Fanfiction (w/ Madeline Walter)
01:02:33

Warning: this episode is very, very NSFW. Nicole and Lauren are joined by writer/improviser Madeline Walter (UCB, Brooklyn Nine-Nine) to discuss fanfiction, read some hot Star Wars stories, and share their own original fanfic writings. They also discuss Freddie Prinze Jr's recent public Star Wars rant, the popularity of sneaking sexuality in kids media, and the burning question - Can you use the Force to make someone cum?

Next week, we review Star Wars Ep. I - The Phantom Menace.

Sources For This Episode:

BookRiot - History of Fan fiction

C3PO Trading Card With the "giant dick"

Freddie Prinze Jr. Star Wars Rant

Fan Fiction:

He's My Brother by NotebookishType

Distractor by Merfilly

The First by guineapiggie

Music Used:

"Dream of You" from purple-planet.com

“Somber Solitude" by Jordan Winslow jordanwinslow.me

"Touch" Piano solo by Mattia Cupelli

Feb 18, 2020
Star Wars Ep. VI - Return of the Jedi (w/ Emily Yoshida)
00:54:32

Ok, Nicole and Lauren are fully ON BOARD! They loved this film and can't wait to get into it. Film critic/writer Emily Yoshida (Vulture, AVClub, The Verge, & host of the Night Call podcast) joins them to discuss their love for Ewoks, Carrie Fisher's visible coke nail, and all the surprising deaths in this film. Plus, the girls start writing ideas for their own Star Wars fan fiction.

Emily Yoshida's Star Wars articles:

All the CGI Characters in the Star Wars Prequels, Ranked From Tolerable to Inexcusable

Why Rogue One Gets the “Dark Reboot” Right

The Star Wars Holiday Special


Sources for this episode:

Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi Wookieepedia

Roger Ebert review

New York Times review

Feb 11, 2020
Star Wars Ep. V - The Empire Strikes Back (w/ Jon Gabrus)
01:01:27

Does Vader's army know his face looks like a chewed up piece of gum? Why is Chewie always so stressed out? And, is this the best the series is going to get? The girls have questions, and Star Wars fan and #1 fuccboi Jon Gabrus (High & Mighty, ActionBoyz podcast) is here to answer.

They also the discuss the best practical effects and worst special effects, the lack of romance, and and the rise of Lucas's production empire. While the girls warm up to the series, Gabrus has a few words for the angry Star Wars fans listening.

Be sure to check out Gabrus's other HeadGum podcast - High & Mighty.

Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and write in the review what Star Wars media you'd like us to cover.

Sources for this episode:

The Empire Strikes Back Wookieepedia

The New York Times review from 1980

The Origin of Darth Vader: The Voice


Feb 04, 2020
Star Wars Ep. IV - A New Hope Watch-Along with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus
02:07:04

This is a bonus episode with live reactions and commentary as Lauren and Nicole watch Star Wars Ep. IV - A New Hope for the very first time. You can sync up the film on Disney+ with us to watch along in real-time!

If you'd like to skip to the film discussion, check out the first official episode where we sit down with John Gemberling (Big Mouth, Broad City) to breakdown what we just watched.


Jan 28, 2020
Star Wars Ep. IV - A New Hope (w/ John Gemberling)
01:03:23

Oh boy. Lauren and Nicole have just watched their first Star Wars, and they have questions. Like, what's the devil doing in the Cantina? Is Chewbacca a pet? What was the motivation behind the alien in the trash compactor?

Comedian and Star Wars fan John Gemberling (Big Mouth, Broad City) joins us to answer cultural importance of the original Star Wars series, the lore, characters, and convince the girls to keep on watching.

Want to watch Star Wars Ep. IV in realtime with Nicole and Lauren? Check out our bonus watch-a-long episode where you can sync up the film and hear their reactions.

Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and write in the review what Star Wars media you'd like us to cover.

Sources for this episode:

Star Wars Wookieepedia

Original Reviews from 1977



Jan 28, 2020
Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus are Watching Star Wars! (Trailer)
00:05:43

Nicole and Lauren have never seen a Star Wars. In this new series, they will watch each series in theatrical order, and will be joined by comedian Star Wars fans to fill them in on 42 years of missed pop culture.

In the trailer, they discuss why they never got into the series, what life has been like never having seen Star Wars, and have a realization that Star Wars is quite similar 90 Day Fiancé.

Subscribe today and catch the first episode, launching 1/28!

Series theme song by TOMI.

Jan 10, 2020