Solutions for Families

By Paula Fellingham

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Description

Parents come with problems and leave with solutions. You will receive practical, researched-based advice on how you can build a strong, more loving family during these turbulent times. If you are ready for less contention and more kindness in your home, this show is for you!

Episode Date
How To Prevent Problems
00:07:52

Talking about things that might occur helps us make decisions in advance.  Hopefully, when the time comes to make a similar decision, we will have thought it through and will choose wisely.

Preventing a problem is usually easier, and more desirable, than trying to solve the problem.

There are several ways we can help prevent problems:

  1. Use a kind tone of voice when speaking.
  2. Communicate our feelings and let people know how they can help us.
  3. Avoid sarcastic humor and eliminate criticism.
  4. Try to sense how a family member is feeling and carefully speak or act in a way that will help him.
  5. Keep an open mind and consider the ideas and suggestions of others.  Don’t be                      defensive. 
  6. Give one another high, positive expectations for behavior.
  7. Think through and discuss possible problem situations before they happen.

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions For Families

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Nov 24, 2020
The Importance of Family Values
00:06:33

We display our values everyday by the way we speak and act.  The decisions we make, the way we use our time, and how we spend our money all reveal our values.  

The rules we have in our families are a result of our values--the things we think are really important.  It’s vital that everyone knows the difference between what’s really important and what doesn’t matter too much.

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions For Families

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast

Nov 17, 2020
Family Rules and Consequences
00:07:42

In life there are rules--at home, at school and in the community.  It’s important to have rules in a family for order and peace to exist.  When all family members help make the rules, children take the responsibility of helping to set their own limits.  Families should gather together and decide on family rules.  Then the rules need to be obeyed by all family members.

When children help create family rules and consequences, when they disobey, they are disobeying rules which they once agreed upon. When it becomes necessary for parents to enforce rules and consequences, it is best to be kind and firm at the same time.  Gentle words and loving actions show kindness.

With everyone helping, create some family rules.  Then decide on consequences for obedience or disobedience to the rules.

Have one person write down all ideas suggested.

∙ Everyone should have a chance to share their ideas about what would be good rules for your family.

∙ Remember to keep your rules few and simple.

Mentioned on the Show:

Free Parenting Webinar

7 Step Parenting Course

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast

Nov 12, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Make Responsible Decisions
00:06:05

Children learn this best in families when they have many opportunities to make decisions and when parents explain the reasons for their decisions. Young people who haven’t made decisions about who they are and what they want to do in life are the most vulnerable to peer pressure.  Inexperienced decision-makers are more likely to rely on others to make their decisions and define their values for them.
 

The Decision-Making Process

  1. Identify the problem.
  2. List all possible solutions.
  3. Think about each alternative--applying your knowledge, values, resources, and the ease or difficulty of the solution.
  4.  Discuss the issue with those who care about your welfare and happiness. For some this will include God.
  5. Choose the best solution.

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions for Families

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast!

Nov 10, 2020
Especially For Parents: How To Handle Problems Well
00:09:27

The choices we make as to how we deal with our problems largely determine our happiness or unhappiness.  No matter how devastating our circumstances, we can still choose how we think and how we perceive life.  Included in the lesson on responsibility is Eleanor Roosevelt’s famous quote, “No one can offend me without my permission.”  We can choose how we react to our circumstances, our environment, and the people around us.  Choice is powerful and truly a gift.  Even as I write that statement I fully understand that many, many choices in our lives are beyond our control.  However, the choice of attitude is always ours.

6 Ideas for dealing with problems:

  1. Focus on the positive
  2. Stay flexible.  
  3. Maintain open channels of communication 
  4. Pull together as family
  5. Draw on spiritual resources. 
  6. Seek help outside the family.

Mentioned on the Show:

Ask Paula Anything

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

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Website: paulafellingham.com

Nov 03, 2020
Lessons for Families: Teaching Responsibility
00:06:58

One of the most important things we can learn in this life is to take responsibility for our own thoughts, words and actions.  An American president’s wife, Eleanor Roosevelt, spoke about this when she said, “No one can offend me without my permission.”  We can choose what we think and how we act.

When we’re responsible, we no longer blame others, the weather or our memory.  

Ask:

1.  What would you do if you broke something in our home?

2.  What if you had a family job to do, and your friend asked you to go swimming?

3.  What if your teacher gave you a math assignment that you didn’t understand, and it was to be finished the next day.  What would you do?

4.  What if you were tending a neighbor’s child who was in the bathtub when the phone rang?

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions for Families

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast

Oct 29, 2020
Stories and Poems on Communication
00:11:36

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions for Families

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

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Oct 27, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Communicate Openly, Honestly, Frequently
00:11:12

Sometimes we expect others to know exactly what we want, or need, even when we say little or nothing at all.  Perhaps unkind remarks by others keep us from being open and honest--we’re afraid of being hurt or embarrassed.  It’s very important that family members say only kind, supportive things when someone is sharing their feelings.  We should never laugh, or criticize in any way.  

When we can say what we really think to supportive family members, good things usually happen:

∙ We know our family cares about us.

∙ We believe our opinions and concerns are important.

∙ Problems are prevented because they are discussed in advance.

∙ Problems are solved more easily because several people help find solutions.

∙ Our family is closer and stronger because we help one another.

Mentioned on the Show:

Free Parenting Webinar

7 Step Parenting Course

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Oct 22, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Listen Well
00:08:55

Listening is more than just hearing words.  It is trying to understand a person’s message and their feelings. When we listen, it shows that we care.  Careful listening also increases our empathy for people’s feelings. 

When we listen we should:

1.  Show we’re listening. 

2.  Be interested in what the person is saying and concentrate on their words.

3.  Never  interrupt.

4.  Watch the speaker’s body language.  

5.  Actively listen.

 As we listen with open hearts and minds to the messages we hear, we will learn much, and discover how we can best contribute to the happiness of others.

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions For Families

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast.

Oct 20, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Speak More Positively
00:10:29

Communication can be negative (unkind) or positive (kind).  When we speak unkindly to one another it destroys the loving atmosphere we want in our home, and it makes family members feel unhappy and unloved.  On the other hand, when we speak in a positive and kind way to one another, our family is happier.

It is so important to speak positively, because people usually become what they are told they are. 

Try each day to turn negative comments into positive ones.  Remember that any habit is hard to break.  Be kind to yourselves and have patience with one another as you try to improve.  As you help one another speak more positively, it will be easier to improve.

5 benefits of positive speaking:

  1. You have the opportunity to express yourself.  If you speak in a positive way, people will listen to you more readily.  That gives you opportunities to influence people for good.
  2. It helps build a positive self-image.  
  3. It builds trust in a relationship.  
  4. It encourages cooperation.  
  5. It promotes honest, open communication.

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions For Families

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast

Oct 15, 2020
Especially For Parents: How To Communicate Well
00:16:04

If we can put into practice what we’ve learned about speaking with kindness, and combine it with sharing our hearts openly, and listening with the intent to understand and help, we are on the road to being able to communicate deeply and effectively.  Strong relationships are build not on “surface talk,” during which people only discuss the weather or other non-threatening subjects.  Usually relationships which stand the test of trials and time are those whose participants are willing to communicate the thoughts and honest feelings of their hearts.  By doing so, they risk ridicule and rejection.  Nonetheless, these people accept that risk because they cannot be satisfied with anything less than sincere, honest, meaningful relationships.

Four parts of good communication:

1. Listening.  

2. Rephrasing.  

3. Probing.  

4. Positive Speaking.  

Relationships are built one interaction at a time.  Each interaction moves the relationship in  positive or a negative ways.  We usually can’t change relationships over night, but making improvements in our communication skills will always move them in positive directions.  

Mentioned on the Show:

Free Parenting Webinar

7 Step Parenting Course

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast

Oct 13, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Understand First
00:05:46

Good communication is understanding and being understood.  In our family we should be able to talk to one another easily.  We should know that we can share our feelings in confidence, know that we won’t be laughed at, and feel understood.  

When we make a real effort to understand before we try to be understood, usually our efforts will be appreciated, our communication will improve, and our relationships will become stronger and more loving.

Activity     

This activity teaches how to help people understand us when we communicate.  The method is called “I messages.”  This is how it works:

1.  Start with the word “I.”                 

2.  Add what you’re thinking, feeling or needing. .....need some help getting these dishes done.....

3.  Explain WHY.

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions for Families

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast

Oct 08, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Serve Others Gladly
00:05:32

Service is kindness in action.  Service is giving to others; lifting loads and brightening lives. Having an attitude of service means looking for ways to help rather than waiting to be asked.  The needs of others are important to those who unselfishly serve.  They help people because they care about them, not because they expect a reward.  Those who serve others will also benefit--they’ll enjoy good feelings of self-worth and an increased capacity to love.

As a family, participate in one of the acts of service below, or think of your own:

∙ Plant a tree.

∙ Clean/rake/snow-shovel a neighbor’s yard.

∙ Be friendlier at school.

∙ Help an elderly person with housework or yard work.

∙ Tend children for a young mother without pay.

∙ Read to a child.

∙ Pick up trash along the highway.

∙ Do volunteer work in the community.

∙ Take a meal to a needy family.

∙ Contribute to church and community projects.

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions for Families

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast

Oct 06, 2020
Stories and Poems on Commitment
00:14:12

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions For Families

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Oct 01, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Enjoy Family Traditions
00:10:07

A family tradition is an activity that a family does regularly.  Often traditions are so simple that families don’t even consciously recognize them as traditions.

Healthy relationships are built on time spent together.  Family traditions create opportunities for us to be with one another.  As we join together and participate in a tradition, we share our lives in special ways that are unique to our family.  Usually, the more we share our lives, the more we care for one another.

A family is like a chain and family members are like the links in the chain. Experiences shared together strengthen and bind the links together. The stronger the links, the more powerfully family members are bound to one another.

7 ideas for a family tradition.

∙ Each week or month, declare a “Be-Kind-To-(name)-Week.”

∙ On birthdays, go around the table and take turns telling the birthday person one reason why you love or appreciate them.  Or share a happy memory you have with the birthday person.

∙ Create a “Memory Wall” in your home.  This could consist of important events in the family, from school plays to family trips, represented with pictures, programs and souvenirs.

∙ When the family all gathers together, play games and enjoy treats.

∙ Display children’s artwork for a few days, then place it in a special box, decorated by the child.

∙ If both parents work, make sure children don’t come home to an empty house.  Leave a little treat and an envelope for each child containing instructions on what to do during the afternoon.

∙ Send family members love notes in lunch sacks, desks, on mirrors, etc.

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions For Families

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Sep 29, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Set Family Goals
00:08:09

Defining our goals will help point us in the direction we want to go.  The great basketball player Michael Jordan said, “I visualized where I wanted to be, what kind of player I wanted to become.  I knew exactly where I wanted to go, and I focused on getting there.”

Helmut Schmidt remarked, “The tragedy in life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal.  The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.  It isn’t a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity to not dream.  It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for.  Not failure, but low aim is the mistake.”

Activity    

We’re now going to have each family member choose three goals--one in each of three areas: physical, mental, and social. Then we’ll each list one way to reach our goals.

There are many things that compete for the time and attention of families.  People are constantly making decisions about what things should have priority in their lives.  Are your family’s highest priorities in life the things you believe to be the most important?

Despite what you say, what you do shows how you really feel.  What you spend your time doing will show what you really want for your family.

Mentioned on the Show:

Free Parenting Webinar

7 Step Parenting Course

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast

Sep 24, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Give Your Family Unhurried Time
00:10:10

Quality time means that when we are with one another we are 100% “there,” focused on family members’ needs and happiness.  Quantity time means that we are with our families as often as we can be.  This is a challenge sometimes, but when family relationships are truly our highest priority, time needs to be given to those relationships.  There is no substitute for unhurried time with our loved ones.   

Strong families enjoy being together, and they make the effort to plan activities to be with one another.  Family time doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive.  The simplest activities often become the most memorable.  Family time can be as simple as sharing a family joke or enjoying a favorite tradition, such as Saturday morning pancakes or a family walk on Sunday afternoons.  

Ask the following questions:

  1. Are we spending our time as we wish?
  2. How would we like to spend our time?
  3. What is preventing us from spending our time as we want?
  4. What can we change so that we can spend our time as we would like to?

Mentioned on the Show:

Free Parenting Webinar

7 Step Parenting Course

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast

Sep 22, 2020
Especially for Parents: How to Commit Your Time and Heart to Your Family
00:19:26

During our lifetime we make many commitments.  We commit to being educated and to attend school.  We commit our loyalty to friends.  We commit to bank loan officers, employers and  politicians.  However, of all the commitments we make in life, commitment to our family is the most important. 

What does being committed to our family mean? I believe it means that we give our hearts and our time to our family, no matter what the consequences may be.  We commit to do whatever is necessary to ensure family happiness.  There are countless ways to show our commitment to our family.  

3 Things We Can Do to Demonstrate Commitment:

1.   Let family members know without a doubt that we love them.

2.   Let our family know that we will be there for them.

3.   Always be honest.

Perhaps the greatest value of commitment is that it serves as an expression of love.  Love is a concept that the experts have trouble defining.  But strong families know what love means.  It means commitment.

Mentioned on the Show:

Ask Paula Anything Call

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast.

Sep 17, 2020
Stories and Poems on Kindness
00:15:55

Mentioned on the Show:

Free Parenting Webinar

7 Step Parenting Course

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Sep 15, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Give and Receive Affection
00:08:36

None of us really outgrow our need for affection.  The outward signs may not be as clear as with small babies, but many people “fail to thrive” because of lack of affection.  We all have a need to receive affection if we are to become the best that we can be.  We also need to give affection freely so others know we care.

People express affection in different ways.  Some are more comfortable than others giving and receiving affection.  For some it is very natural to give kisses, hugs or pats on the back.  For others this can seem awkward.  Some people find it easy to speak warmly and affectionately.  For others, doing something for someone is their way of showing affection.  It should also be remembered that children have different personalities and sometimes prefer different expressions of affection. 

You can determine appropriate ways to show affection to each family member by asking the following questions:

∙ When you are feeling upset, what can someone do to show they care about you?

∙ If you had just received an award, how could someone show they are happy for you?

∙ When you want to show someone you care, would you be more likely to do something special for them, praise them, or give them a hug?

Mentioned on the Show:

Ask Paula Anything Call

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast

Sep 10, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Show Appreciation
00:14:32

Criticizing others not only creates bad feelings, it isn’t a good way to get people to change.  It’s a fact that animals can be trained much faster if they’re rewarded for each correct attempt rather than being punished each time they fail.  This principle holds true for people, too.  We improve our performance faster with praise than with criticism.  

It seems to be a law of human behavior that how we act is contagious.  In other words, if we are kind to others in our family, we receive kindness in return.  It’s also true that our usual response when someone criticizes us is to criticize them in return.  In families, it is especially important that we avoid the vicious cycle of criticism which always hurts relationships.

Expressing appreciation is not difficult.  It requires making the effort to notice the positive things that happen, and telling the person involved how you feel about it.

Mentioned on the Show:

Free Parenting Webinar

7 Step Parenting Course

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast.

Sep 03, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to do Kind Deeds (cheerfully)
00:09:43

Kind actions are anything we do to make a person’s life easier or happier without expecting a reward.  Kind actions show concern and caring.  When we show kindness in our family, we’re helping one another feel loved.  When people feel loved, they can more easily show kindness to others.

Our kind actions come from our thoughts--the desires we have to be good and loving.  At the end of each day we should think, “How closely did my actions today match my good intentions to be kind?”  Being aware of our actions will help us improve them day by day, until we become truly kind in thought, word, and deed.

Discussion for the Family about the Short Story:

1.  Do you think each young person wanted to win?

2.  When one boy stumbled, what did the runners do? 

3.  If you were a runner that day, do you think you would have stopped?  Why or why not?

Assignment:

1. Answer these questions:

If someone in my family is unkind to me, am I unkind to them to get even?

∙ Do my actions show that I love my family?

2.  Do at least one kind thing for each family member during the coming week.  Anonymous acts of kindness are even more special.

3.  If you wish, read the Additional Solution for Success: Giving and Receiving Affection.

 

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions for Families

 

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast!

Sep 01, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Speak with a Kind Tone of Voice
00:07:27

Many times it isn’t what is said, but rather how it’s said that makes people happy or unhappy.  One way to show kindness is to use a gentle tone of voice when we speak.  It takes great effort at times, but speaking kindly can become a habit. 

Our voices carry a great deal of power and send messages to those around us. When we speak loudly and harshly, people around us often feel upset.  On the other hand, when we speak kindly it encourages feelings of love, calmness and respect. 

Discussion  for the Family from Short Story:   

1.  What is the first step to change our behavior?  (Recognize that improvement is needed.)

2.  What happened to help John recognize that he needed to be a better father?  (He saw a man playing with his sons and knew he could improve.)

3.  What was one way John decided he could improve?  (Use a kind tone of voice with his family.)

4.  Is it sometimes easier to speak more pleasantly to our friends than to our family?  Why?

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions for Families

 

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast!

Aug 27, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Use Kind Words
00:10:41

When we speak negatively it focuses our attention on what is wrong with our world and our circumstances.  It doesn’t help improve things, it makes our life worse.

An unkind remark to another person can range from seemingly harmless to truly hurtful. The truth is, however, whether we’re being simply sarcastic or being cruel, the effects are similar.  Both types of remarks leave the giver and the receiver feeling negative and critical.  The reverse is also true.  When we speak kindly of others it focuses our attention on their goodness.  When we speak kindly of our circumstances it turns our thoughts toward gratitude for what we have.

Discussion for Family from Short Story:

1. Why do you think the man in the story gave his shoes to the little girl?

2. Do we sometimes think kind thoughts, but we’re too afraid to say them?  What are we afraid of?

Assignment:     

1. With everyone participating, name five kind things you can say to make someone happy.  (Example: “Thank you,” “I like the way you look today,” “You’re a good friend,” “I love you,” “You did a great job!”)

2.  Make a special effort to use kind words in your home.

3.  All family members give one compliment each day for a week.

 

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions For Families

 

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast!

Aug 25, 2020
Lesson for Families: How to Think Kind Thoughts
00:09:46

Kind thoughts are pleasant ideas that lift the soul.  They always come before kind words and actions.  How we think determines how we act. 

If we want to become kinder people, the first step is to recognize that kindness, and unkindness, begin in our own minds.   We can choose to think good thoughts, no matter what is happening around us.

If we’re aware of our thoughts we can better control our words and actions.  We need to be aware of what we’re thinking, and try to catch ourselves in the act of thinking unkind thoughts. 

Discussion Questions for Family from Short Story:

1.  Why did the crowd at the livestock sale think kind thoughts about Katie?

2.  How did the thoughts of the crowd determine their actions? (Their kind thoughts about Katie led to higher bids, to help her)

3.  What can we do when unkind thoughts enter our mind?

 

Mentioned on the Show:

Solutions for Families Website

 

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast

Aug 20, 2020
How to Show Kindness in Your Home
00:13:16

Kindness is the single most important ingredient in a happy home.  As I have met with hundreds of families, spoken to numerous groups about family issues, and critically observed families for decades, I have come to know that kindness is indeed a foundational part of every happy home.  Without kindness, the money and the time we give our families is meaningless.  Where there is no kindness, all attempts at family solidarity are useless.

Kindness can be shown in many ways, every day.  We have countless opportunities to show kindness in the home.  I’ve heard it said in different ways but the message is always the same:  little, frequent acts of kindness are appreciated far more than large material gifts given without affection. 

Simple words and deeds that show caring and concern for one another should be a part of the fabric of family life.  When we treat one another as we would like to be treated, showing kindness and love, our acts of goodness will be noticed and imitated, creating habits of kindness and traditions of family love.

4 Ways to Be Kind in the Home:

In Thoughts

In Words

In Tone of Voice

In Actions

10 Ways to Show Kindness:

  1. Speak gently, always being positive and lifting others.
  2. 2. Help others with no thought of reward.
  3. Overlook mistakes; have great patience with imperfections.
  4. Forgive easily and quickly.
  5. Put the needs and desires of others before your own.
  6. 6. Share the good things in your life freely.
  7. Listen patiently.
  8. Give of yourself--especially your time.
  9. 9. Be polite and courteous.
  10. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated.

 

Mentioned on the Show:

7 Step Parenting Course

Free Parenting Webinar

 

Connect with Paula:

Facebook: @paula.fellingham

Instagram: @paulafellingham

LinkedIn:  @paulafellingham

Website: paulafellingham.com

Subscribe to Podcast. 

Aug 18, 2020
How to Create Your Family Mission Statement
00:07:33

A Family Mission Statement is like a family constitution.  It is a statement of your beliefs and your goals as a family.  It is the definition of the course you want your family to take.  Once you have that sense of direction, you can set your long and short-term goals.  You have the vision and values that direct your lives.

Like all families, your family needs to have a clear understanding of where you are going.  When you follow a plan, each day will be in harmony with the vision you have of your lives.  The steps you take will be in the right direction--toward your personal and family goals.

Define your goals.  As a family decide together what you really want to accomplish.  If you don’t define your goals, you can get caught up in the “busyness” of life and forget the things which really matter most to you.  A great way to start is to create a Family Mission Statement.

 

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Aug 13, 2020
Sample Family Meeting Lesson
00:07:41

Let's talk about a sample family lesson for your family meetings, using gratitude.

Today we’re going to talk about gratitude.  Gratitude is being thankful for who you are and for things you have. To begin, let’s each name some of the things for which we’re grateful.

A man named Dale Carnegie once said, “Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions.  It depends on inner conditions.  It isn’t what we have or who we are, or what we are doing that makes us happy or unhappy.  It’s what we think about it.  For example, two people may be in the same place, doing the same thing, and yet one may be miserable and the other happy.  Why?  Because of a different mental attitude.”

Can we be happier if we’re grateful for what we have, instead of thinking about what we don’t have?  How can we acquire an attitude of gratitude?

As a family, let’s try to be more grateful each day for who we are and for all that we have.  Let’s each try to keep an attitude of gratitude. I want you to know that I love and appreciate each one of you, and that I’ll do my best to have more gratitude.  

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Aug 11, 2020
How to Have Fabulous Family Meetings
00:12:50

Building a successful family is like building a home.  Both need a plan.  A successful family based on unity and love takes careful planning, but it’s worth every moment.

The best way to be organized as a family is to hold weekly family meetings.  By doing this, families enjoy a special closeness and stability.  Choosing to spend time with your family sends a message more powerful than words.  Memories made together during this time will bond and sustain your family through the years. 

The family meeting should be an important part of every family’s weekly schedule. The family meeting can have three parts. These are suggestions only; your weekly meeting can be anything your family wants it to be.

Parts of a Family Meeting:

∙ Family Council

∙ Lesson

∙ Activity

7 Ways to Make Your Meetings Fabulous:

  1. Choose a special time each week that you set aside just for the family.
  2. Cut out all distractions during that time — no TV, no homework, no phone.
  3. Let family members know that this is the family’s time for each other.
  4. Allow family members to take turns being responsible for parts of the meeting.
  5. Adapt the lessons and activities to the needs of your family.
  6. Plan fun family activities.
  7. Keep the tone of the meeting positive.

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Aug 04, 2020
How to Assess Your Family’s Strengths and Weaknesses
00:12:55

This family survey is designed to help families understand one another’s strengths, weaknesses, feelings and how each person views the family.  When all family members honestly respond to the survey statements and talk about the results with kindness, the survey can be a powerful tool for family growth. Completing this survey is an important first step in assessing your family's strengths and weaknesses.  

Family members need to understand that it is perfectly all right to have different responses. There are no “right” or “wrong” responses.  Family members’ numbers will often be different because even people in the same family have different beliefs and perceptions.  Different is not wrong.  It is only different. 

Talk about how the survey statements made you feel.  Remember to make only positive comments during your family discussion.

Based on your results, talk about each of these questions:

  1. How do we feel about the kindness we show to one another?
  2. How well do we commit our time to each other and to the family?
  3. How well do we communicate in our family?
  4. How do we feel about the choices we make?
  5. How is our family’s physical, mental, social and financial well-being?

Talk about where you are today and where you want to be. Decide which areas you want to work on first.

 

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Jul 31, 2020
Up Close and Personal with Paula
00:08:56

I know family life can be really challenging. We all want to experience loving, lasting relationships with our children and grow our families to be strong and healthy. But it’s sometimes tough. Raising happy, confident children can be difficult! Trust me – I’ve walked your road, and I’ve felt many of the same struggles that you’re feeling now.

The good news is – ANY family can be loving and peaceful. Over the course of 40+ years as a parenting expert I’ve seen even the most broken families unify. I’ve witnessed the weakest marriages come back and bloom into beautiful partnerships. I’ve watched fractured relationships transform into powerful bonds of trust and love.

All it takes is a willingness to improve, effort, and the right guidance to create the family relationships you’ve always dreamed of.

I have a Doctorate of Education (Ed.D.) in Human Relations and I am an author of six books, including the internationally popular-Solutions for Families and Believe It! Become It! How to Hurdle Barriers and Excel Like Never Before. I'm the recipient of the “Points of Light Award” given by U. S. Presidents George W. Bush and Donald J. Trump and the recipient of the “President’s Volunteer Service Award” given by U.S. President Barack Obama. As the mother of 8 children and grandmother of 24, I'm honored as Washington State Young Mother of the Year and State Woman of the Year. I have personally taught family-strengthening skills in 37 nations for over 30 years. MySolutions for Families has helped families worldwide.

 

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Jul 30, 2020