Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

By Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions

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Description

Raising kids can be a bumpy, stressful, and uncertain process – which is why Dr. Lisa Damour is here to help. The New York Times Adolescence columnist and author of bestsellers Untangled and Under Pressure brings her sane, informed, and practical perspective to your timely and timeless parenting questions. Cohost Reena Ninan, a world-class journalist who has covered the White House while packing a breast pump, makes sure to get you the answers you need.

Episode Date
How Do You Handle Holidays in a Pandemic?
1739

Navigating the holidays under Covid has its own pressures. A season that should be marked by joy is being met with sadness and loss by so many. Lisa explains how taking time to mourn the temporary loss of our regular traditions can help us deal with, and move past, these emotions. Understanding that it won’t always feel this way can help children cope with uncertainty. The silver lining is that finding our way through intensely sad times helps to build resilience.

For Children Everywhere - Feeding America is the nation’s largest domestic hunger-relief organization. It has served over 40 million people through food banks and meal programs: www.feedingamerica.org

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast

Nov 24, 2020
How Has the Pandemic Changed College Admissions?
1683

High school seniors are feeling the disruption of the pandemic as they tackle the college admissions process.  How do we help them manage these uncertain times while they plan the next chapter of their lives?

Special guest and New York Times bestselling author Jeff Selingo joins us to answer your questions about applying to college in a pandemic. Drawing on research from his brand new book, Who Gets In & Why: A Year Inside College AdmissionsJeff explains what he learned while embedded with three university admissions offices. How do admissions gatekeepers decide who gets in? How can applicants stand out? Are schools doing away with the SAT/ACT? How much do grades really matter? How are universities changing their approach to admissions in light of the pandemic? Jeff answers these questions and more.

For Children Everywhere - Girlstart inspires girls in STEM. Their mission is to increase girls’ interest and engagement in STEM through innovative, informal STEM education programs: www.girlstart.org

For more on Jeff Selingo, check out https://www.jeffselingo.com/

Lisa's New York Times article about taking a gap year: Getting Into College Doesn't Mean Students are Ready to Go

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/

Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast

Nov 17, 2020
Dads & Daughters, Mothers & Sons: How Does Gender Shape Parenting?
1640

How do dads differ from moms when it comes to raising kids? Lisa unpacks the research on the different roles each parent plays while pointing out that there are no hard and fast gender lines in parenting and that you don't have to be a parent to play a powerful role in a child's life. Lisa and Reena talk about the dynamics that often unfold between dads and daughters and mothers and sons, especially in the context of adolescence. What do all kids want? They want to feel valued and admired.

For Children Everywhere - Jumpstart is a national early education organization giving kids help with literacy and social-emotional programming for preschool children from under-resourced communities.  It promotes quality early learning for all children: https://www.jstart.org/

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast

Nov 10, 2020
How Do I Motivate My Kid to Do Homework?
1710

Students are finding it hard to focus on school in the midst of a pandemic. But laying a good foundation for how homework gets done is a skill that can be carried into adulthood. Lisa explains the psychological research behind two different kinds of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Is it appropriate to reward kids for doing their work? Lisa discusses what parents can do to help kids self-motivate and stay on task.

Lisa's October column in The New York Times: How to Do School When Motivation Has Gone Missing https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/29/well/family/teenagers-motivation-school.html

For Children Everywhere -  GoFundMe.org’s Covid-19 Relief Fund financially supports people impacted by the pandemic and organizations helping with relief efforts: https://www.gofundme.com/f/covid19-relief-cause-fund

Special Guest Jeff Selingo, author of “Who Gets In and Why: A Year Inside College Admissions,” will be joining us in an upcoming episode. Send us your college admission questions to AskLisa@DrLisaDamour.com and we'll pose them to Jeff.

Follow us on Instagram at @asklisapodcast @Lisa.Damour @ReenaNinan

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Nov 03, 2020
What Can Kids Learn from a Tense Election?
1565

How can parents help children cultivate the ability to have tough conversations? How do we teach tolerance? Lisa explains the building blocks of civil discourse and the emotional and developmental skills that help kids engage peers constructively on the charged topics of politics and race.

Laurel's Center for Research on Girls, civil discourse resources (scroll down for "Engaging in Civil Discourse" brief): https://lcrg.laurelschool.org/research/lcrg-research-briefs

For Children Everywhere - iCivics is an online resource founded in 2009 by Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor to provide free resources for civics education: https://www.icivics.org

The Rebound: Watch the first episode on how a former NFL player rebounded from police brutality. New YouTube show hosted by Reena Ninan about coming out of your worst moments: www.youtube.com/TheReboundwithReenaNinan

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast

Oct 27, 2020
Where's the Line Between Being Healthy and Having an Eating Disorder?
1623

Eating concerns are an issue in many families, especially during the Coronavirus pandemic. What should a parent look out for? When is it time to be concerned? And what happens in the mind of someone who struggles with an eating disorder? A new survey by WETA/PBS Newshour finds that teenagers ranked body image as their top source of concern in the pandemic - with boys expressing this worry almost as often as girls. Lisa looks at the factors exacerbating this problem: social media, the wish for control, and more.

Lisa is also featured in a virtual conversation sponsored by WETA/PBS Newshour called “Wellbeings: Teens, Covid, and Coping.” Watch at: https://wellbeings.org/

For Children Everywhere - Chef Jose Andres’ World Central Kitchen which provides food where it’s needed the most from voting polls to disaster areas: https://wck.org/

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Oct 20, 2020
How Do I Parent When I Feel Like I’m Drowning?
1883

Parents are faced with new pressures under Covid-19, and many of us are barely holding it together. When does having personal struggles translate into bad parenting? While it's important to be honest with our kids, Lisa explains what’s not okay for your kids to see and experience as you are working through a difficult time. Adding to the pressure, many parents have lost their supportive networks. We no longer see other parents during school pick-up or on the sidelines of soccer games. It may be time to find our new “soccer sideline” groups. Reena also talks about her fear of winter coming in a brainstorming session about how we'll cope. Lisa explains the research on how having breaks to look forward to can help your mental health.

Lisa & Reena also announce a new weekly segment called “For Children Everywhere.” One charity will be spotlighted each week for listeners who would like to donate. This week's organization, "Women's Bean Project" is based in Lisa’s hometown of Denver, Colorado. It helps unemployed women return to the work force: https://www.womensbeanproject.com/

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Oct 13, 2020
What to Do When Kids Don’t Listen: Advice for Threenagers to Teenagers
1869

What really works when kids just won’t listen? Dr. Lisa explains there are two different mental states that parents should toggle between — warm parent and robot parent. She explains how cultivating a joyful relationship with kids puts money in the account from which parents write their disciplinary checks. If you're clashing with your teen, it’s never too late to turn things around. And those raising younger kids find out why it's often harder to parent age three than age two (hint: threes enjoy mean fun).

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Charity of the Week  - For Children Everywhere: https://www.childrenshopeindia.org/

Oct 06, 2020
Apathetic, Cranky, Frustrated: Dealing with Kids' Distress About School
1784

What should parents do when their kids are fed up and unhappy about school? Psychologists are witnessing the rise of emotional distress in children as they try to manage their disrupted academic year. Stress is processed in different ways by different children - some become anxious and sad, and some act out. How do you get kids to pivot from bad behavior? Dr. Lisa decodes how to identify and work through emotional distress.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Charity of the Week - For Children Everywhere: https://www.modestneeds.org/

Sep 29, 2020
When Is Anxiety a Disorder? When Does Sadness Become Depression?
1832

Anxiety often serves as a normal and useful warning system - an emotional alarm that rings when something isn't right. Lisa discusses the difference between healthy and unhealthy anxiety, and explains how anxiety changes the activity of the heart and lungs. She provides tips on how to counter anxiety by harnessing the connection between the lungs and the brain. 

What is the difference between sadness and depression? When should we be concerned about the possibility of suicide? Lisa and Reena also consider common warning signs. The show ends on an upbeat note about effective psychological interventions for treating anxiety and depression.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Sep 22, 2020
Will the Pandemic Disrupt My Kid’s Social Development?
1698

When should parents hit the panic button over their child’s social development? A mom writes in about her shy, introverted teen, wondering if her daughter has enough contact with friends. What key milestones might kids be missing as a result of the coronavirus pandemic? Lisa walks us through the development of social skills from infancy through college age, describing what we should keep an eye on and what we can do at home to help kids build the skills they need.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Sep 15, 2020
Toolbox for Terrible Times: Managing Helplessness and Hopelessness
1555

How do we get through the pandemic without losing our minds? Lisa offers parents four distinct tools to help ourselves and our children through these challenging times. The specific tools are "feeling with" children, supporting healthy psychological defenses, having the right words for painful emotions, and finding ways - like using humor- to rally when we're feeling down. Reena gets emotional talking about what a teacher did to prepare her students for the first day back. Also explained is a key psychological research finding on how people can significantly increase their well-being.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Sep 08, 2020
Helping Kids Eat Well and Stay Active Under Covid-19
1533

How do we encourage our kids to be active when they want to couch surf? Lisa tackles a listener’s question about a tween who has become sedentary during the pandemic. As much of the U.S. is getting back to school—often with distance learning—exercising, eating well, and maintaining routines now matter more than ever. Talking to kids about healthy eating comes with an unexpected lesson from a famous neighborhood—Sesame Street.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Sep 01, 2020
How to Deal with Conflict While Stuck at Home
1600

Conflict is unavoidable. Having a strategy can help. Divorce rates have increased in some countries under lockdown from Covid-19. When can a relationship not be repaired? How do we teach our kids to deal with conflict? Lisa covers the research on how to get out of an impasse, especially when parenting teens. Reena shares high school teacher Mrs. Jackson’s words on conflict resolution. How do we come to terms with negative emotions and hit the restart button? How do we get along when we're all stuck at home?

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Aug 28, 2020
Parenting During a Pandemic
1550

How can you tell when your child is not coping well during this Covid-19 pandemic? Dr. Lisa breaks down what to watch for in a child’s behavior. How much screen time is bad for a child’s brain? She also explains the term “learned helplessness.”

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Aug 24, 2020
Back to School During Coronavirus
1538

Uncertainty surrounds this school year amid all the Covid-19 news. Dr. Lisa talks about what families need most as they juggle working from home and school. How do you respond when everything seems out of your control? Reena discusses some of the work-life tradeoffs that she has struggled to manage, including making the hard choice to go to Benghazi with her breast pump.

Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com

Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com

Aug 24, 2020
Trailer
99

Welcome to ASK LISA: The parenting podcast co-hosted by psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan.

Jul 29, 2020