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Episode | Date |
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035 The Relationship After The Narcissist
20:47
This week we are talking about relationships after narcissistic abuse. But to talk about future relationships, we need to look at our past and what we learned about love when we were children. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
To ensure a healthy and lasting new relationship, we need to do some inner work, identify our blueprint of what love and connection are, and work on it. If we don't address it, we are at risk of repeating this inter-generational trauma, and possibly passing it onto the next generations. Resources:
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Feb 23, 2021 |
034 The Child's Trauma Response To The Narcissistic Parent
17:41
In today's episode, we will talk about future generations and narcissism. We will explore and analyze kids' trauma responses to being with a narcissist and the best ways to help them deal with it. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
When our kids come back to us aggressive or angry, we must see them through the trauma-informed lens. We need to understand them, show them love and compassion, be supportive and make them feel that we see them and hear them. Our kids misbehave with us because we are their anchor. We must be aware of that and build our relationship with them from that place. Resources:
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Feb 16, 2021 |
033 Medicalising Narcissistic Personality Disorder
24:11
This episode is about the controversy around the diagnosis of a narcissist and its medicalisation. Should narcissists be medicalised? And if they should, how does it affect those who've been involved with a narcissist? What You Will Learn In This Episode:
As a society, we are conditioned to look at the symptoms and there is not much space for considering the root cause. That's what is happening with narcissists as well. The root cause gets overlooked, and the abuse suffered by the narcissist's victims remains unacknowledged. But the solution might lie in looking at narcissists through the trauma lens. Resources:
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Feb 09, 2021 |
032 Covert Narcissist - The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
25:03
One of the narcissist types that is hardest to identify is the covert narcissist. Today we will go through a covert narcissist's behavioural traits, the ways they get their narcissistic supply, how that makes us feel, and how to deal with that behaviour. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
When we think about a narcissist, the first image that comes to mind is an arrogant, entitled and overly confident individual. But a covert narcissist is quite the opposite, they will portray themselves as a victim who suffers constant abuse. We need to be aware that they can turn people who know us against us, and be ready to deal with that. Resources:
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Feb 02, 2021 |
031 Parenting With A Narcissist and Corona Virus
20:05
This week I want to talk about co-parenting with a narcissist in COVID times. We'll talk about what happens when the pandemic is used as an excuse for not giving the kids back, or sending them over. We will also go through the best way to communicate with a narcissist in conflict situations, and what parallel parenting is. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
We need to pay special attention to the pandemic restrictions used as control methods by the narcissist in our lives. If that is the case, our kids' happiness is essential to look at before we decide to act. Resources:
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Jan 26, 2021 |
030 The Narcissist and the Judgement Part
23:30
This week I want to talk to you about judgement from the Internal Family Systems and parts therapy perspective. We’ll go over what judgement really is and what questions you can ask yourself to get to the root of judgement both towards yourself and towards other people, including the narcissist. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
It is definitely not pleasant to be on the receiving end of somebody else’s judgment, but I’m also inviting you to check in with yourself. How much are you judging other people? Because that's just a protector part showing up to protect you from your wounded younger parts. Resources:
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Jan 19, 2021 |
029 Can You Cure a Narcissist?
27:52
This week we talk about the possibility of curing a narcissist, and what we can do to make our situation better. Is it possible at all to get beyond their protector parts, and heal that wounded inner child that is responsible for their narcissistic behaviour? What You Will Learn In This Episode:
As narcissists are a product of a childhood trauma, it is okay to be compassionate and empathetic. We need to accept that it is impossible to help someone who doesn't acknowledge they need help. Resources:
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Jan 12, 2021 |
028 When A Narcissist Knows You Have Them Figured Out
18:19
Today we talk about a pivotal moment in our relationship with a narcissist - what happens when they know we know? What is their reaction when we let them know we know who and what they are? Is it a good idea to let them know that? Let's find out. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
When we confront a narcissist with the truth about who they are, we force them to face their younger wounded parts. That makes their system go into overdrive, and their protector parts become an army pointing all their guns at us. We must ignore that and focus on our recovery and healing OUR wounded parts. Resources:
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Jan 05, 2021 |
027 Why Does the Narcissist Do This to Me???
13:59
The question I get asked lots of times is - why does the narcissist do this to me? What have I ever done? I'm a nice person. I'm gonna get real with you in this episode and explain this in two parts. Let’s dive in. What You Will Learn in This Episode:
Your power is not trying to change a narcissist, but recognise what it is about you that makes you feel the way that you do and attract people like that into your life. Because when you change that, you change everything. Resources:
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Dec 30, 2020 |
026 The Three Stages of Divorcing a Narcissist
18:17
Today we talk about the three stages of our healing process when we are divorcing a narcissist. We go through our priorities in stage one; sorting out the legalities while starting to heal in stage two; and recognizing that healing is a lifelong journey in stage three. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
Divorcing a narcissist is tough, especially if you have children. However, if we focus on our safety, on our healing process, and avoid re-traumatizing our mind, we can go through it. What we need to do is not beat ourselves up, and create a healthy ecosystem around us to help us heal. Resources:
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Dec 22, 2020 |
025 The Cheating Narcissist
22:29
Today I talk about cheating narcissists, the reasons behind cheating, and what it is that narcissists pursue by doing it. We also cover narcissists' strong protective parts, how codependents in a relationship trigger cheating behaviours, and the difference between healthy and narcissistic abusive relationships. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
When we are cheated on, we tend to think it is our fault, that we are not good enough, not worthy. But when a narcissistic partner cheats on us, it’s not about us, but about their wounded younger parts, and their need to feel that sense of grandiosity. Resources:
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Dec 15, 2020 |
024 Anxiety, Depression and Narcissistic Abuse
19:27
Today we’re talking about anxiety and depression, not as mere symptoms that need to be treated, but as parts of us showing up for a certain reason. Let’s ask ourselves - why are we anxious, why are we depressed, why are those parts showing up? What You Will Learn In This Episode:
Once we see anxiety and depression as parts of us reacting to trauma, we will realise that we are not a depressed or anxious individual, but we have parts that are showing up in order to distract us and soothe us from feeling the pain of our younger, wounded part. Resources:
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Dec 08, 2020 |
023 The Difference Between Narcissism and Confidence
21:00
Today I want to talk about two words that may conjure up very different concepts to you, and they are narcissism and confidence. We go over what narcissism is, what true confidence is, and how to tell a difference. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
Because we can’t change narcissists, let’s get back to trying to live as much as possible as your true authentic self, as someone who is curious, calm, connected, courageous, creative, confident, compassionate, and lives with clarity. How much of your life are you living like that? Resources:
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Dec 01, 2020 |
022 Signs of Dating a Narcissist
16:45
Today we talk about the little signs and the red flags that we must be aware of when we start dating someone new. Even after a traumatic separation, at some point we need to start meeting new people, but we must have ears and eyes open to the signs of narcissistic behavior, so we know what to do if they keep happening. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
The dating world after a divorce or a breakup can be terrifying. But it's important to remember that being with someone is not always better than being single. So if we decide to take a new chance, we must have our narcissistic radar on point to avoid falling into that trap. Resources:
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Nov 24, 2020 |
021 Help!!! I'm Addicted to a Narcissist!
24:47
In this episode I’m talking about the addiction to the narcissist in your life, how to deal with it, and the first steps to overcome it. Remember that every addiction serves to stop us from feeling the pain of our wounded younger part, and today we are going to unpack that mechanism. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
In a relationship with a narcissistic person, we are continually trying to prove that we are good enough, and our body gets used to that sensation. Not feeling good enough then becomes familiar, and our brain perceives what's familiar as what's safe, thus ignores the pain we are feeling and perpetuates that cycle. Resources:
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Nov 17, 2020 |
020 The Narcissist's True Intention
19:06
Do narcissists deliberately try to hurt you? What is their driving force? Even when they say or do horrible things to us, the narcissist’s intention is purely about themselves. What they pursue is the narcissistic drug of choice, what we call the narcissistic supply. That is the only thing they are after. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
When narcissists hurt us, they want to heal their wounds at our expense. It has nothing to do with our integrity or our values. So remember that it is YOU who is holding the power to heal, and change the perception of your own childhood experiences. Resources:
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Nov 10, 2020 |
019 What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder
17:26
In this week’s episode, I want to talk about what exactly a narcissist is, and what tool is used to identify narcissistic personality disorder. We tend to wrongly label narcissists as those who take lots of selfies or those who are rude to us, and by doing that, we are not helping the real victims of narcissistic abuse. What You Will Learn In This Episode: •The difference between being a narcissist and being obnoxious •How being a victim of Narcissistic Personality Disorder affected me •Are narcissistic personalities born or created? •The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) nine traits to detect Narcissistic Personality Disorder •The importance of educating the society regarding NPD and helping its victims If someone you know ticks the boxes of at least five of the nine traits described by the DSM, the person has NPD. This method might help you get some reassurance of what you are dealing with and that it is not your fault. Resources:
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Nov 03, 2020 |
018 Five Key Phrases to Disarm the Narcissist
15:30
Today I want to share with you the five key phrases that are great to disarm the narcissist. These phrases really helped me and my clients to understand that the power is within us to heal from narcissistic abuse. Five Key Phrases to Disarm the Narcissist:
Keep me posted if you're using any of these five phrases to disarm the narcissist. I would love to hear what their expressions were like, what they said back to you. Even if you don't feel these right now, remember that it's all about dis-confirming those experiences, but we have to start somewhere. So give these phrases a try. Resources:
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Oct 27, 2020 |
017 Narcissistic Abuse and Internal Family Systems
18:06
In this episode, I want to talk about the different parts of you, that may be stopping you from healing from narcissistic abuse. In working with my clients, I use an evidence based parts therapy called Internal Family Systems, and I’m going to explain what it is and how it can help you heal. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
Working with parts as I explained them here can help you update that younger part of you, so the roles of the Protector parts won't need to be so reactive, proactive or destructive, and you can start healing from narcissistic abuse. Resources:
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Oct 20, 2020 |
016 The Physical Effects of Narcissistic Abuse
19:47
We rarely talk about the illness and disease that come from being in a narcissistic relationship. Today I want to talk about the physical effects of the trauma of narcissistic abuse, about why that might happen, and I want to potentially give you some hope. What you will learn in this episode:
A lot of the physical conditions that you have might be your body’s response to stress and trauma. I want you to get to know your body, your history, your timeline of events, and see if there's actually a root cause to whatever physical stress related illness you have. Resources:
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Oct 13, 2020 |
015 Narcissistic Abuse and Overwhelming Fatigue
14:54
Many times people are saying to me ‘Caroline, I just struggle getting out of bed in the morning, and I know I should be doing x, y, and z but I just haven't got any energy, and I feel weak and ashamed.’ In this episode, I want to help you try and lift some of that guilt and shame off yourself. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
So if you're feeling tired all the time, really take a look. Is that a trauma response? Because if you're healing from narcissistic abuse, know that it's not you being lazy or weak. It's just your normal natural nervous system response, it’s your body trying to protect you. Resources:
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Oct 06, 2020 |
014 The 4 Trauma Responses of Narcissistic Abuse
16:00
In this episode, I want to talk to you about the 4 trauma responses when we talk about narcissistic abuse. Many of you have heard about fight, flight and freeze, but there's also a fourth one that’s lesser known - fawn or appease. So let’s go through each of these four, and see if you can resonate with any of them. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
Can you recognize those trauma responses in your behavior? Which ones were you in the most? Were you like me? Let me know! Resources:
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Sep 29, 2020 |
013 Am I A Narcissist?
12:42
I get so many messages every day from people all over the world asking - Am I A Narcissist? The first answer I always say back to them is no, you're not a narcissist because no narcissist would ever ask themselves such a question. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
If you are feeling upset right now wondering if You are the narcissist, please let me tell you you are definitely not. But it is good to have awareness that the reason you're thinking that is because you've been the victim of narcissistic abuse, and what you need to do now is get intentional about your healing. Resources:
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Sep 22, 2020 |
012 Grey Rock The Narcissist
15:41
Today I want to talk to you about a term that you may have seen associated with narcissistic abuse.. This is Grey Rocking, and I’m going to explain how to be a Grey Rock around the narcissist. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
I want you to give it a go now and be the Grey Rock to the narcissist. It gives you a sense of control, and being like that doesn't mean you're giving in. What it means is yourself taking your power back, so you can recognise that you deserve to heal, to survive, and you deserve 100% to thrive after the trauma of narcissistic abuse. Resources:
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Sep 15, 2020 |
011 The Trauma Bond & Addiction To The Narcissist
16:53
I get messaged many times about the fact that people just can't break that addiction to the narcissist even if they know that it isn't the right thing for them to keep on messaging or emailing the narcissist in their life. We actually call this a trauma bond, and in this episode I explain exactly what it is. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
Remember where you are right now with creating those neuropeptides, because that’s what we are addicted to. In order to break the addiction to the narcissist, we've got to calm that nervous system, so that we can create a space for you to start to heal the trauma of narcissistic abuse. Resources:
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Sep 08, 2020 |
010 Why Talk Therapy Alone Can't Heal Narcissistic Abuse
19:15
While talking therapy does have a place in the recovery process, in this episode I'm going to explain to you exactly why talk therapy alone can't heal narcissistic abuse. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
Wherever you are on your healing journey, please make sure that you are getting the right treatment for you. Look for a therapist who has been through what you have been through, and who is using brain-body based somatic psychotherapies, so they can help you shift in the part of the brain where the trauma is stuck, because if you don't do that, you could be in talk therapy for years. Resources:
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Sep 01, 2020 |
009 What Is Gaslighting
20:06
Gaslighting is a very insidious form of psychological abuse. It leaves the victims feeling insane, thinking they are the crazy ones. In this episode I’m going to tell you some stories about gaslighting, so you can recognise it when you see it or experience it. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
I'd love to hear if you've got any stories of gaslighting. Are they as wild as wacky as mine? Resources:
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Aug 25, 2020 |
008 The Family Dynamics Of Narcissistic Abuse
15:31
Today I’m talking about the family dynamics of narcissistic abuse, and the different roles that occur within a family. In particular, I want to talk about the scapegoat within the family when you have a narcissistic parent. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
I'm a big believer that when you heal yourself you heal the next generation. So just because your children have a parent that is a narcissist does not mean that they will be a codependent or a narcissist. You can break the cycle of scapegoating, you can heal, and the reason I know that is because that's exactly what I did. Resources: |
Aug 20, 2020 |
007 The Root Cause Of Narcissistic Abuse
12:40
It's not a coincidence that you end up in a relationship with a narcissist. There are always patterns to this type of behaviour. So where does it all start? That’s what we are looking at today. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
What we have to look at here is deep inner child healing. When we heal and upgrade that inner child into your world today, we get a level of understanding, and when we heal that inner wound, we can change everything. Resources: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse |
Aug 17, 2020 |
006 Codependency And Narcissism
15:49
In today's episode I want to talk about codependency and the narcissist, because a codependent is literally a magnet to a narcissist. We will go over what codependency is, and the mechanism behind the codependent-narcissist mutual attraction. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
When you put expectations on other people to behave in a certain way for you to feel good enough, you're putting your happiness in someone else's hands. You need to take responsibility to go within and heal your wounds first. And when you heal your own codependency, you change everything because you stop looking externally to get your sense of self worth. Resources:
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Aug 16, 2020 |
005 Surviving Narcissistic Abuse
15:33
The question is - can you ever survive narcissistic abuse? Right now you might be feeling like you are in a long dark tunnel, feeling angry, guilty, shameful and having no energy to get out of it. But I’m passionate about helping you and educating you on how to start overcoming this trauma. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
So the short answer to whether you can survive narcissistic abuse is yes, absolutely. And I don't just want you to survive, I want you to thrive and help you find meaning in what you have been through. Resources: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse |
Aug 15, 2020 |
004 How To Divorce From A Narcissist
19:07
So you found yourself married to a narcissist, and you are thinking about leaving. Or maybe you have already started the process of divorcing a narcissist, and you realise that it is only just beginning. In this episode we are covering steps and resources that can help you go through this difficult process. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
Know that the first year of divorcing a narcissist is going to be really tough, but you can do it. I trust you and I believe in you, but you've got to focus on your safety and on your mental health. Resources:
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Aug 13, 2020 |
003 What Is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
20:10
I'm sure most of you have heard of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. But there is something else called Complex PTSD. So in today’s episode we are talking about the Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
If you can relate to some of the symptoms of the Complex PTSD, it doesn't mean you're going to have this forever. It just means that trauma is stuck, and what we have to do is unstick it, process it, get it time stamped into the past and move forward. I believe you, but it is your responsibility to do something about it. And I’m here to support you. Resources: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse |
Aug 12, 2020 |
002 Covert Narcissist - The Most Dangerous Type
19:49
When we talk about narcissism, we talk about the two main categories of narcissists - overt and covert narcissists. You know that person who walks into the room, has a sense of grandiosity and commands the attention? That’s an overt narcissist. But today I want to focus on the other type, the covert narcissist, and why I believe it’s the most dangerous type of narcissists. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
So let me know - do you have a covert narcissist in your life? Can you relate to anything that I've covered in this episode? Resources: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse |
Aug 11, 2020 |
001 Why Narcissistic Abuse is Trauma
17:11
Narcissistic abuse isn't just some bad breakup or somebody being mean to you. This is actual trauma. In this episode I want to explain what trauma is, and to educate you on what exactly narcissistic abuse is. What You Will Learn In This Episode:
Although narcissistic abuse is trauma, it doesn't need to define you. I want to help you find meaning in it, so you can go on and not just heal your trauma, but you can actually thrive after narcissistic abuse. Resources: |
Aug 11, 2020 |
000 Welcome To The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast!
10:12
Narcissistic abuse is abuse to the very core of who you are. It leaves you feeling broken, lost, shameful and guilty. How many of you wake up each morning feeling like you just don't want to get out of bed and face the world, like you are stuck in the freeze trauma response, not knowing what to do? How many of you are maybe still in a relationship with a narcissist, whether it’s your parent, your partner, a co-worker or a friend, and you're desperately trying to please them every day, but you feel like you are not good enough, like it's your fault and you need to try harder? I know what it’s like because that was me. I’m Caroline Strawson and I want this podcast to support and educate you to know that where you are right now does not need to be where you will be in the future. The journey of self-healing my own trauma of narcissistic abuse has led me to create a multi-award winning business. I use a unique integration of therapies such as EMDR, Brainspotting, Rapid Transformational Therapy and Positive Psychology to help women like you recover from narcissistic abuse. Every week I will be delivering snapshots of education, support and inspiration, so you can slowly start to see the light at the end of the tunnel and heal the trauma of narcissistic abuse. Thank you for listening and see you in the next episode! Resources: |
Aug 10, 2020 |