In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the changing of the seasons and how we can follow nature’s lead in learning to make changes in our lives. We know how hard it can be to make that first step, in this episode you will learn some simple practices to help you find your way to making meaningful, lasting change. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

 Helpful Practices for Starting a New Chapter

• Take note of how you are feeling every day. Listen to those feeling they may be telling you it’s time to make a change.
• Be intentional. Take the Pause. This will allow you to connect with yourself and clear on what you want and how you want to feel.
• Release yourself from expectations and comparisons and focus on the things you value.
• Seek inspiration from the external. What inspires you on the outside if you are having trouble seeing it within yourself?
• Identify the small steps and changes you can make in your daily routine. The small steps can help us lean into the big changes.  
• Trust the timing of your life.

5 Positive Affirmations for New Beginnings

• I trust the timing of my life, I love to watch my life unfold in each moment.
• I am worthy of the good things coming to me.
• I am strong, capable, and ready to take on this chapter of my life.
• Ilove my life and I am grateful for each new opportunity.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• 5 Positive Affirmations for New Beginnings by Michelle Maros
• 7 Mindful Practices for Starting a New Chapter by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle tackle the topic of apologies, and how to spot the difference between a real one, and a fake one. They also distinguish between apologizing and making amends and which practice is more powerful in mending relationships. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Here is a quick overview of what IS NOT an apology:

• I am sorry but….
• I apologize if what happened upset you…..
• I regret that happened…..
• I apologize if you….

A real apology doesn’t make excuses. It takes responsibility and makes changes to the behavior.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Making Amends in Addiction Recovery
• Have You Ever Received an Apology that Didn’t Really Feel Like the Person was Sorry
• Drop a Heart if You Have Ever Received a Fake Apology
• The Importance of Responsibility by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the uncomfortable, hard truths that they had to UNlearn. They also share the vulnerable, personal stories of how they came to these revelations, and how it has impacted their daily lives. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

7 Hard Truths That We Have Had To UNLearn:

1. All you need is love to make a relationship work. You can love someone but know that relationship is not in the best interest for either of you. And therefore, you can love them from afar. 
2. The right person will come along when you are ready. 
3. If I communicate clearly, people will always understand me. Even if you communicate clearly and from a place in the heart, you still not be understood by the person or people listening. 
4. More self-care will fix your problems.
5. Blood is thicker than water. Family is everything. 
6. If someone isn’t into you the way you are into them, they will change if you work hard enough.
7. If we change jobs, move to a better place, have a baby, buy a house, therelationship will be better and fixed.

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In part two of their conversation, Barb and Michelle disclose the second half of their list of life lessons from Barb! Recording this episode was a favorite for them both, as they loved sharing their personal stories, insights, and takeaways. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

 Episode Notes:

The Top Lessons Michelle Learned from Barb

1. You can’t control anything in the outside world, but you can control your reaction to it.  
2. Never do anything if you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired (HALT). Just pause and ask yourself: Are you hungry? Are you Angry? Are you lonely? Are you tired?
3. There is peace in the pause.
4. Be where your feet are.
5. The present moment is where your power is. The present moment is the opportunity to choose. 
6. Don’t be a victim.
7. The relationship you cultivate with yourself is the most important relationship you can have. Be your own best friend. 

Bonus Lesson:  Choose your battles. Your peace is more important that being right 

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This week, Michelle shares her favorite life lessons she learned from having Barb as her mom! Learn personal stories, vulnerable shares, and life changing insights. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

The Top Lessons Michelle Learned from Barb

1. You can’t control anything in the outside world, but you can control your reaction to it.  
2. Never do anything if you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired (HALT). Just pause and ask yourself: Are you hungry? Are you Angry? Are you lonely? Are you tired?
3. There is peace in the pause.
4. Be where your feet are.

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle interview a special guest, Nedra Glover Tawwab. Nedra is a licensed therapist and relationship expert, who speaks about her newly released, bestselling book, Drama Free, as well as how we can take the simple steps to start healing, today Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Drama Free by Nedra Glover Tawwab
• Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
• The Set Boundaries Workbook by Nedra Glover Tawwab
• Nedra Tawwab Instagram

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This week, Barb and Michelle continue their conversation from the week before, discussing the topic of letting go, moving on, and finding peace. It can be challenging for all of us to find closure when we don’t get the apology or validation that we feel we are owed. Luckily, we don’t need the external world to give us permission to be free. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Helpful Steps to Guide You in Your Practice of Acceptance:

1. Know yourself. Ask yourself what it is you want to get out of it. Is it an apology? Is it peace?
2. Know how to pick your battles and where you should be placing your energy.
3. Know when to take an action and what that action is.
4. Know that what’s done is done. Don’t let yourself relive the past over and over.
5. Know that it is all going to be okay.

Grandma Sumana Poem

After all those years

looking after others, 

this old heart has finally learned

to look after itself. 

Each act of kindness 

a stitch in this warm blanket

that now covers me

while I sleep.

 References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• The Truelove by David Whyte
• The Power of Practicing Acceptance by Michelle Maros
• The First Free Women: Poems of the Early Buddhist Nuns, translated by Matty Weingast

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the emotional topic of closure, how they’ve begun to redefine it in their lives, and how they think we all can find it, in a meaningful and real way. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Visualize cutting the chords of the areas of your life that cause you suffering and pain.
• Give yourself grace and love. Repeat to yourself , I love you, I care about you, I care about your suffering, and I care about your pain.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
• Drama Free by Nedra Glover Tawwab
• How We Heal by Alex Elle
• The Sugar Jar by Yasmine Cheyenne
• Tyler Perry Video
• Cutting Cords Meditation

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle get personal and vulnerable with lessons they’ve learned so far in 2023 and how they’ve impacted their mindset in life. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

We cannot control anything in the outside world. We cannot control what people think of us. But we can control our own actions and reactions.

Becoming the villain in someone’s story is allowing yourself to accept their feelings for something they believe you did wrong, while knowing that your actions were done with the intention of self-care, not to inflict harm or pain on someone else.              

Helpful Reminders:    

• It's okay to disappoint someone else if you're standing up for yourself.
• It's okay to set boundaries in relationships that aren't supportive, or loving, or in alignment, because you feel called to do so.
• It's okay to speak your truth, even if you know that the people that are listening might not like it.
• It’s okay to say no.
• It's okay to stop communicating with someone because they're not respecting you or your wishes.
• It’s okay to not tolerate those parts of your life that drag you down, make you feel less than, or don't allow you to live your fullest best life.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• My Favorite Lesson I’ve Learned in 2023 So Far by Michelle Maros
• Crossing the Flood, A Commentary on the Oghatarana Sutta

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss how, when, and why to make those big life choices. It can be a challenge to know when to make a shift, but as we know, life is a journey not a destination. Barb and Michelle share personal stories and real-life situations that inspired them to make life changes with confidence and grace. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

The greatest hindrance to change is not being connected to one’s self.

1% Rule – There are 1,440 minutes in a day. Taking 14 minutes, just 1% of your day, to take pause, breath and bring yourself back to the present moment, it can transform the 99% of your day.

Helpful tools when considering change:

1. Find small ways in your life to fortify your bravery that will help you as you look to pivot and make those changes in your life.
2. Set boundaries with the things that you will and will not tolerate.
3. If you are considering a change, but the answer is not clear at the moment, then it’s not time to make the change.

3 Simple Steps When Pivoting In Life:

1. Feel.
2. Make a small, tiny action
3. Check in with yourself.  

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

1 to 60 Rule That Pilots Use to Correct

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

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This week, Barb and Michelle tackle the difficult topic of disappointment and how they manage it. We know how hard it is to feel rejected and like life doesn't have your back. In this episode, we discuss how to manage disappointment, rejection, and trusting the timing of life. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Reminders to help us reframe our feelings of rejection and disappointment:

• Remember to keep the faith. 
• Remember that rejection isn’t personal. No one has the power to name who you are.
• Remember sometimes we can't see for the full story that is, we are only looking at one small chapter at a time.
• Remember to let life guide you.
• Remember that what’s for you won’t pass you.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

It’s Not Rejection, It’s Redirection by Michelle Maros

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Join Barb and Michelle for part 2 of their conversation about their favorite inspirational reads. They had so much to say, and so many books to share they needed more than one episode! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Seek inspiration from a person but keep your own unique path.

Barb’s Favorite Memoir:

• Finding Me by Viola Davis

Barb’s Favorite Re-read:

• Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

Barb’s Favorite Book to Give as a Gift:

• Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed

Barb’s Favorite Audiobook:

• I Take My Coffee Black by Tyler Merritt

Michelle’s Favorite Audiobook:

• Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown
• Becoming by Michelle Obama

Barb’s Favorite Audio Book When You Feel Like You Are Losing Yourself:

• Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

Barb’s Favorite Book for Transitions in Life:

• Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

Barb and Michelle’s Favorite Book for Teens:

• The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Michelle’s Overall Self-Help Favorite:

• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Barb & Michelle’s Top 15 Inspirational Books

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In this week’s long awaited episode, Barb and Michelle dive into their favorite inspirational reads. Book recommendations are one of the most commonly asked questions, so we are thrilled to share the books that have gotten us through so much in life. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Reading can help you find your mentors and inspirational advisors.

Barb’s first book out of treatment:

• The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

Barb’s first inspirational book:

• Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

To be followed by Michelle’s favorite companion book:

• Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie

Two books that Barb recommends the most:

• Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
• Set Boundaries Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab

The book that Barb recommends if you are going through a difficult time.

• When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön

Michelle’s recommendations to tap into your creativity:

• The Artist Way by Julia Cameron
• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• How Reading Can Lead to Inspired Living by Michelle Maros
• Barb & Michelle’s Top 15 Inspirational Books

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about one of their favorite books, Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, and how it’s teaching and insights helped them to release codependent relationships. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic where one person assumes the role of “the giver,” sacrificing their own needs and well-being for the sake of the other, “the taker.’

Red Flags of Codependency:

• Putting the other person’s needs above your own.
• Feeling like you cannot live without a person.
• Relying your happiness on someone or something else.
• People-pleasing to an extreme level.
• Having rigid expectations of what you think will make you happy.
• Losing your sense of boundaries and what you will and will not tolerate.
• Participating in things that go against your best interest.
• Ignoring your intuition or advice of loved ones.
• Feeling stuck, trapped, or unclear how to make a change.
• Loss of your own sense of identity and desire.

Helpful Tips as You Come Out of a Codependent Relationship:

• Begin a daily meditation/mindfulness practice that works for you.
• Establish a strong, centered relationship with yourself.
• Learn how to take care of yourself first.
• Get clear on what you want in your life.
• Cultivate a sense of self-confidence and self-worth to believe you are worthy of your desires. You don’t have to settle.
• Get clear on your boundaries: what you will and will not tolerate.
• Seek professional assistance when necessary.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
• Codependency by Psychology Today
• Breaking This Pattern Changed My Relationships by Michelle Maros

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This week, Barb and Michelle dive into the sensitive and sometimes tricky topic of breakups…friendship breakups! It’s common for us to discuss overcoming heartbreak in romantic relationships, but what can we do to move on and heal from an estranged friendship? Barb and Michelle share vulnerable stories and examples from their lives on lessons learned from friendship breakups, and more! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Loyalty is a feeling of understanding and grace rather than an action. It’s a person being present in the moment with you.
• Being your own best friend leads to healthy friendships all around you.

Helpful lessons that we have learned from friendships breakups:

1. Friendships do not need to last forever to be meaningful, impactful or loving.
2. Human beings are never stagnant. We are always changing, growing, and evolving. Relationships change as you do.
3. We never really know what other people’s life experiences are like, which means that we can never fully understand why some people act the way that they do.
4. Sometimes the most loving act we can do for someone is give them space and grace.
5. It's okay to set boundaries with people that you love.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Five Lessons I’ve Learned From Ended Friendships by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the habit they consider to be the biggest hindrance to happiness and joy: comparison. Learn reminders and simple boundaries you can set with yourself to begin to release the need to compete and compare and find more peace from within. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Reminders to help when we get into comparative thinking

1. Your path is your own.
2. You are where you need to be in this moment.
3. You are good enough and worthy enough to achieve your desires.
4. There is room for everyone to achieve their dreams and one person’s success doesn’t take away from your success.
5. You don’t have to conform to anyone else’s timeline.
6. Trust that life is unfolding for you as it is.

Social media reminders:

• Know your limits and your triggers.
• Feel free to unfollow or mute people you are following any time.
• Have creative affirmations for yourself to counteract those negative thoughts.
• Replace internet time with self-care practices.
• Create boundaries with your social media time.
• Social media is highlight reel.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

5 Reminders to Release Comparison and Competition by Michelle Maros

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others by Rachel Cruze

The One Habit That Robs You of Happiness by Michelle Maros

Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed

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In this very special episode, Barb and Michelle celebrate one year of Barb Knows Best, the Podcast! In this time, they reflect on some of the biggest, most impactful lessons they’ve learned since launching the show, and what they hope to pass along to all of the listeners! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

15 Things That Were “Up” for Us in Our First Year:

1. Give yourself grace and pause to feel the feelings.
2. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Be curious about the unknown. We don’t know what is on the other side of fear and self-doubt.
3. Amazing things can happen when you commit to your dreams.
4. Don’t take things personally. There will always be people committed to misunderstanding you.
5. There is power in shared experiences and shared vulnerability.
6. Learn who you can trust and how to discern who has earned that trust.
7. You are not alone. There are people out there who want to help you. You simply have to ask.
8. Know who YOUR people are. Understand the importance of asking those people for help when you need it. Your people ARE YOUR people.
9. Healthy boundaries are important.
10. Be where your feet are, the present moment is truly where we have our power.
11. There is power in the PAUSE.
12. Every storm runs out of rain. ~ Maya Angelou
13. Happiness is choosing one thought over the other.
14. Life is not a one and done, we are always learning.
15. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Even with all the practices, self-compassion continues to be the hardest one to adapt in our lives.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab

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In a very special episode of Barb Knows Best, Michelle and Barb are joined by dear friend, author of the just-released book, The Sugar Jar, coach, and speaker, Yasmine Cheyenne. This intimate and vulnerable conversation dives into the topics of real self-care, life changes and transitions, and how to maintain a centering practice to connect with yourself, through it all. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes

• Try to follow the 24-hour rule before making any decision to help you establish boundaries and choose yourself. Ask yourself:
• Do I have space for this?
• Do I have time for this?
• Is this in alignment with what I said I want to do this year?
• And is this for me?  
• Give yourself grace because you are going to make choices that are not go the way you intended.
• Healing is a forever process. It’s not a decision. We are all still healing each day.  
• You are the only person who knows what you need.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• The Sugar Jar by Yasmine Cheyenne
• IG Live with Yasmine Cheyenne
• @YasmineCheyenne

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle take listeners through their detailed process of getting unstuck. It’s common for us to feel like we get stuck in ruts, habits, and situations that aren’t in our best interest. Luckily, we can start to move ourselves forward and out in an aligned, peaceful way. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Eight Simple Tools to become unstuck:

1. Take an honest inventory of what you are feeling.
2. Acknowledge the negative thoughts that are fueling how you are feeling.
3. Have curiosity about the core of the negative thoughts. Ask yourself where are these negative thoughts coming from?
4. Learn to modify the negative thoughts. Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you.
5. Come up with a positive replacement to intercept the negative thoughts.
6. Stretch your comfort zone. Even a tiny change can quickly shift the negative feelings of being stuck. 
7. Visualize the life you truly desire and the dreams you have. 
8. Realize your greatness lies in the power to choose your own thoughts.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

5 Gentle Reminders for When You’re Feeling Stuck

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the popular Tiktok trend, Lucky Girl Syndrome. They dive into what it is, what is helpful with it, and how we can incorporate this mindset into our lives in a grounded, meaningful way. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Lucky Girl Syndrome is the idea that if you believe that things in life will go your way, they will.
• An empath is a person that can take on the emotions and feelings of another person. An empath with take on other persons pain and suffering as their own.
• Be grounded in who you are.
• Being a trauma survivor doesn’t mean you will never be triggered or that it goes away completely. It means that you have gotten to the point where you can live life successfully and fully in a kind, healthy and happy way.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• TikTok's 'Lucky Girl Syndrome' Trend Might Be the Best Thing for Your Mental Health
• What Does It Mean to Be an Empath?

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the often overlooked “green flags” in life. We so often keep an eye out for the common “red flags” in life, but what are the good things to look for? Learn the foundational healthy traits of green flags and some underrated green flags to look out for! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

The foundation of green flags that are healthy traits of feeling safe and supported:

1. Clear communication

2. Honesty

3. Vulnerability

4. Displays healthy boundaries

5. Isn’t afraid to admit mistakes.

6. Loyalty

7 Underrated Green Flags to Look Out for:

1. They display genuine happiness for the success of others.

2. They don’t try to minimize someone’s accomplishments.

3. They are flexible and willing to adapt to changing circumstances and plans.

4. They are comfortable in saying “I don’t know”, or “I was wrong.”

5. They take accountability if they have done something wrong.

6. They are capable of listening to you without trying to “one up you”.

7. They are not easily triggered by negative feedback or criticism.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

5 Green Flags in Relationships by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s New Year episode, Barb and Michelle unpack a quote that has been simmering in their minds, “Please let go of the habit of comforting people after they have harmed you” by Liana Naima. It’s easy for many of us to go into people pleasing mode to keep the peace in our relationships, but at what cost? Listen to learn their thoughts! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Give yourself space and allow yourself to sit in the uncomfortable and unfamiliar.

• Remember there is power in the space. You do not always need to be reactive, fix and comfort. Allow yourself that space to determine what is comfortable for you in that situation.

• Remember you are worthy of kind and loving relationships where you don’t have to fix things.

• Have at least one trustworthy person who you can talk to, and who will be unbiased and not judge you. Someone who will just listen.

• Be gentle, loving and caring with yourself while you learning, while you are growing, while you are healing and uncovering what’s underneath.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm by Thich Nhat Hanh  

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Happy New Year! It’s a new year, which means it’s time for a clean slate! In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss their New Year’s ritual of choosing an intention word, how it’s been meaningful for their lives, and how you can choose one, too! 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Setting in an intention word is an internal calling versus an external desire. It’s a practice from the inside out.

Tips for setting your 2023 Intention Word:

Sit in a quiet space and connect with yourself

Silently ask yourself:

• What is my desire 2023?
• What is my intention this year?
• Who am I?
• What do I really want?
• What impact do I want to make in 2023?

Don’t overthink.

See what comes up first for you.

• Listen to the whispers of the heart.
• Allow your mind to imagine and visualize what your life would look like with that intention.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

I Am Here by Pink

Maya Angelou and Oprah Video

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In continuation of last week’s conversation about gaslighting, Barb and Michelle dive into the topic of self-gaslighting, and how many of us unconsciously fall into this habit. Learn how to detect the subtle signs of self-gaslighting, and how we can proactively change our thoughts and behaviors. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Subtle signs of self-gaslighting:

• Constantly making excuses for harmful behavior of other people.
• Rejecting or repressing your emotions.
• Calling yourself over-sensitive. Your feelings are valid. Take a pause and feel the feelings before you take your next action.
• You blame yourself for things out of your control. You don’t have control over other people. You only have control over your own actions.
• You believe you don’t deserve to be happy because you aren’t worthy. We are all worthy.
• You stay in situations that make you feel unsafe because you don’t trust your intuition and you don’t want to be rude.
• We talk ourselves out of following our hearts.

Remember to honor your feelings how you are feeling in the moment. Stand up for yourself in a way that doesn’t harm the other person but still affirms who you are.

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This week, Barb and Michelle discuss Merriam-Webster’s word of the year for 2022: gaslighting! According to Merriam-Webster, searches for gaslighting were up 174% during the course of the year. In this conversation, Barb and Michelle dive into their personal stories of being gaslit, lessons they learned, and how we can start to spot the signs of a gaslighting manipulation early on.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Gaslighting - A psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality or memories, and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability and a dependency on the perpetrator.

Gaslighting is emotional abuse.        

Gaslighting is a personality disorder.            

Gaslighting starts with overly nice and kind behavior.          

Phrases to look out for in Gaslighting:

• I was just joking. You need to learn how to take a joke.
• It’s not a big deal.
• You’re overreacting.
• You are too sensitive.
• You’re the problem.
• I would never do that.
• I would never say something like that.
• That never happened.
• I’m concerned about your memory.
• You’re crazy.
• I can never do anything right be you. You’re not so perfect either.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
• The Gaslight Effect by Dr. Robin Stern
• Gaslighting
• What is Gaslighting?
• 3 Lessons I Learned From Being Gaslit by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle dive into the topic of loneliness, lessons they learned from being alone, and how we can find strength in solitude. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one's desires for social connection and actual experiences of it. Even some people who are surrounded by others throughout the day—or are in a long-lasting marriage—still experience a deep and pervasive loneliness.

36% of adults in the United States feel lonely frequently or all the time. 

Simple Reminders When You Have Lonely Feelings:

• Find the silver linings in spending time alone. 
• Spending time with just yourself allows you the opportunity to cultivate a deeper relationship with yourself. 
•  Remember to not take your loneliness personally. 
• Release the negative judgements or stories out there related to you being alone. 
• Remember no feeling is final. The feeling of loneliness is not permanent. 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Psychology Today
• Making Caring Common
• When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron - Chapter 9

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This week, Barb and Michelle talk about their personal journeys with self-doubt and how they cultivate confidence, clarity, and inner peace. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

When feeling doubt, pause and don’t ignore it. Feel the feelings of the doubt and to determine your next action. 

Tips to Understanding Self-Doubt:

• Acknowledge your accomplishments.
• Remember the things that you are good at so you can build the confidence you need in the next step of your journey.
• Remember it’s okay to make mistakes and fail.

3 Ways to Change Self-Doubt in 60 Seconds

1. Self-doubt is a sign you are about to grow.
2. Self-doubt is normal. 
3. If you are feeling self-doubt, it’s your deepest desire.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
• The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
• The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz
• Michelle’s blog on Self-doubt

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This week is another special episode, where Barb and Michelle are answering your biggest holiday questions and more! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Set an intention for how you want to feel about the holiday time.
• Learn how to communicate your needs so that you are heard.
• Learn how to listen to what other people's needs are in a way so that you are truly listening to what it is that they need.
• Set your boundaries before the event occurs.
• Plan out the responses you can have for difficult or challenging questions that could come during family / holiday events.        

Helpful Holiday Tips:

1. Have an escape plan. Give yourself an out when you need it.
2. Remember to honor your boundaries.
3. Give yourself mini breaks. Find those little places where you can give yourself a self-care break.
4. You can change the topic of conversation before they get heated.

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Episode Notes:

• Go into the holidays with plan.
• Set an intention with the feelings you want to feel.

Eight Simple Self-Care Practices for the Holidays:

1. If you are feeling stressed, give yourself permission to stop.
2.   Stop – Breath – Begin Again
3. If you are feeling overwhelmed, remember to breathe.
4. If you are feeling lonely, remind yourself that you can be your own best company. If you have down time or alone time, take advantage of it by starting to cultivate the very best relationship with yourself.
5. If you are feeling confused , journal your thoughts when you need some clarity on decisions you have to make.
6. If you are feeling frustrated, move your body.
7. If you are feeling angry, find those activities that bring you joy.
8. If you feel distracted, practice being present.
9. If you feel disappointed, practice gratitude.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Self-Care Practices for the Holidays by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the concept of worthiness, how they think we lose it, and what we think people get wrong about it, and of course, how to tap back into it! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Simple practices to help us release the feelings of unworthiness:

1. Notice your feelings. What is happening to make you feel unworthy?
2. Pinpoint moments in the past that created these beliefs of unworthiness and tell yourself that is NOT true. Reframe the stories of your past you so can believe the truth.
3. Journal about the feelings that come up when you are thinking about worthiness. Allowing yourself to process those feelings and clear the slate.
4. Be mindful of your thoughts so that you can catch the feelings of unworthiness and change those thoughts.     
5. Adopt an “I am worthy” affirmation.
6. Forgive yourself for feeling the feelings of unworthiness. Know that each day and each moment is another opportunity to choose differently.     

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Releasing Feelings of Unworthiness by Michelle Maros

From Scratch on Netflix

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle host their very first guest, their dear friend Alex Elle! In an open and honest conversation about healing, Barb, Michelle, and Alex discuss their personal journeys, inspiration, and Alex’s new book, How We Heal.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

How do you define healing?

1. Healing is an act of community care and community service. When we heal ourselves we heal each other.
2. Healing is an act of radical self choosing and self advocacy.      

Key Take-A-Ways That You Hope to Pass on To This Generation

• You are worthy without outside permission and external validation.
• Have the courage to go out into the world and be yourself and validate yourself.
• Be the model for your children through your practices.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• How We Heal by Alex Elle
• @Alex
• Hey Girl
• This Morning Walk

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This week, Barb and Michelle discuss the hot topic of manifesting, what we think people get wrong about it, and how we can cultivate a practice of creating that works for everyone.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast. 

Episode Notes:

The Mistakes We Make When Manifesting

• Being too forceful and attached to what we are trying to make happen.
• You have to connect, visualize and feel what you want to unfold and then trust the process
• Saying it but not believing it.
• Setting yourself up and going too big.
• Start small and with the subtle so that you can start to see the wins that you are achieving.
• The manipulation of other people.
•  Let go of the specificity of a person and simply focus on the qualities. 
• You can’t force or manipulate people to do things.

Our minds have remarkable power over the body. Visualization helps up strengthen that connection.

Steps to Visualization:

1. Get clear and tap into your desires, wants and beliefs.
2. Be observant of your thoughts and make sure they are in alignment with what you want.
3. Be the energy you want to attract.
4. Let go of the attachment to the outcome, lean back and be present in the moment.
5. Remember to believe even when you are at the final hour.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Power of Awareness by Neville Goddard
• E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality by Pam Grout
• Oprah Winfrey ESSENCE Festival Speech

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This week’s episode of the podcast tackles the much requested topic of battling burnout! We’ve all been through so much over these past few years and it can feel like we are constantly living life on empty. Barb and Michelle discuss practical ways to fill up your cup, add more balance to life, and recharge your batteries. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Show self-compassion as you become aware of burnout and work towards overcoming it. 

Become aware of the symptoms of burnout:

• Really tired and not motivated
•  Not finding the joys in the simple things
•  Overall feeling of being dissatisfied
•  Not being able to perform your responsibilities

5 Helpful Tips to Overcome Burnout

1. Carve out moments daily for yourself.
2. 1% Rule
3. Make a list of goals, desires, wishes, and dreams.
4. Allow yourself to say no or find compromises where needed.
5. Unplug for peace of mind.
6. Make rest a priority.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Microsoft Research on Burnout

Staff Burnout by Herbert Fruedenberger

What are the Five Stages of Burnout by Integris Health 

Beating Burnout by Michelle Maros 

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski

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In this week’s episode of the podcast, Barb and Michelle discuss an important practice we all could benefit from. Learn what they believe to be the four pillars to cultivating self-compassion, and why it’s so important in our lives at this time.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Self-compassion is an antidote to suffering and. It is a truth that no one gets through life unscathed without suffering.

The Four Pillars of Self-Compassion

1. Awareness – Be aware of what you need in the moment to relieve your own suffering.
2. Be honest with yourself and accept yourself for where you are and understanding where you want to be.
3. Patience – Our lives are our own unique timeline.  
4. Confidence and Trust – Trust you are doing what you need to do and it’s going to be enough.
5. Forgiveness – Forgive yourself, let go and love yourself enough to take the next step forward.  

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

 Dr. Kristen Neff

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This week’s episode of the podcast tackles the tricky and oftentimes elusive issue of trust. We all want to be in trusting relationships and also be that person that the people in our lives cna rely on, authentically. Barb and Michelle will walk you through what they believe to be the keys to cultivating trust for yourself and for others.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Trusting yourself begins with loving yourself.

• Be careful with who you trust.
• Take a pause. Have they earned it?
• How does that person make you feel?

What are some qualities and characteristics of someone who is trustworthy and someone who trusts?

• Clear and honest communication
• Great Listener without judgment and with empathy and care
• Compassion & Understanding
• Reliability
• Actions match words
• Authenticity
• Integrity

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Brené Brown – Anatomy of Trust

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle tackle how to know when to fight and when to let things go. It can feel so easy to jump into every battle that comes our way, but when we do this, we often feel overwhelmed, overworked, and anxiety ridden. Learn how Barb and Michelle discern where they place their energy. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

A trigger is a stimulus that elicits a reaction. In the context of mental illness, "trigger" is often used to mean something that brings on or worsens symptoms. This often happens to people with a history of trauma or who are recovering from mental illness, self-harm, addiction, and/or eating disorders.

How to disengage from the constant habit of being triggered:

1. Have AWARENESS of what triggers you, and knowing what you value and what matters most to you.
2. Set the BOUNDARIES with people and the boundaries within yourself to keep yourself in check.
3. COMMUNICATE with these people about your boundaries and what matters to you as a means of self-care.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Understanding Mental Healthy Triggers

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle get vulnerable again with a discussion on relationships, marriage, and being single in your 30’s. We all feel the societal pressure to tick all the boxes and live up to expectations. In this conversation, we’ll dive into how we both have been letting this pressure go, and how to live life, on your own terms.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

The relationship that we have with ourselves is the most important relationship you will have in life. And it is the foundation of all of the other relationships

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Untamed by Glennon Doyle
• It’s okay to be single and fulfilled at any age by Michelle Maros

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TW: This episode discusses the topics of sexual abuse, addiction, and family dysfunction.

This week, Barb and Michelle discuss the topic of cycle breaking, what it means to become a cycle breaker, and how we can all start to identify toxic family patterns we want to end. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Cycle breaking - the concept of identifying negative, toxic, dysfunctional family patterns that are passed down from generation to generation. Cultivating the awareness about it and making conscientious changes to not pass this on to further generations.

Steps to Becoming a Cycle Breaker:

• Have awareness. Identifying the patterns or traits you would like to change.
• Have an outlet to discuss or understand the dynamics
• Make the decision that you are not going to carry this. Open yourself up to the healing process
• Consciously deciding to make new patterns while understanding you are not perfect.

Helpful Ways to Choose New Patterns:

1. Set boundaries
2. Allow yourself to remove the unhealthy people in your life.
3. Attend therapy or a support group.
4. Show yourself the kindness and support that you needed as a child.
5. Learn healthy coping strategies for managing big emotions and triggers.
6. For parents, don’t play favorites or pitting children against each other.
7. Release unrealistic expectations for yourself and others.
8. Learn to talk about your feelings and your needs without apologizing.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Dr. Murray Bowen Family Systems Theory
• University of Illinois Counseling Center
• It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover
• Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie
• Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
• Instagram Reel on Cycle Breaking

If you are anyone you know has been a victim of any kind of sexual assault help is available. https://www.rainn.org/resources

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In this week’s episode, Barb is fresh off her silent retreat and gives us the insight we all are yearning to hear! Barb discusses her takeaways, thoughts, and feelings on her recent experience as well as talks us through her history with going on retreats.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Retreat – the act of giving up and withdrawing or a time away in a quiet and secluded place where you can relax.

Retreats allow for self-observation of personal feelings, thoughts, and sensations without judgment.

Barb’s Tangible Takeaways from Her Retreat:

1. Commit to notice the dialogue your mind is having with you, but you don’t engage with that dialogue.

a. Do not judge.

b. Do not compare.

c. Do not fix.

2. You can’t place your value and self-worth in the external world. You can’t fix the past. Be present in the moment.

3. Retreats for Barb are a rest of the mind. Be in the trough and allows yourself the space and the ability to feel your feelings. Regaining a sense of self.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Barb’s Ted Talk – Is this seat taken?

Vipassana Retreat

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the pesky issue of indecision and how they both have worked to overcome it. You’ll hear personal stories and tangible tools to feel more confident and at ease with the decision making process. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• The root of indecision is fear and not trusting yourself.
• Connect with yourself. Be aware and mindful of what’s up for you.
• If you're stuck in an indecision and you don't know what to do
• Sit down and ask yourself: If I did know what to do, what would the answer be?
• Asking other people’s opinions clouds your clarity.
• Be mindful of who you go to for advice.
• Trust in whatever choice you make, it will serve you either as a blessing or as a lesson.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Untamed by Glennon Doyle
• Michelle’s Blog Post on Indecision

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In part two of this series on regret, Barb and Michelle dive further into the relationship we have with regrets, and give personal life examples of how they reframe regrets. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Ask yourself what you truly regret.

Determine what matters to you most and take action to move towards them.

The Practice of R.A.I.N.

• Recognize – Become aware of the emotion that you are feeling.
• Allow – Don’t resist the emotion. Let yourself be present with the emotion.
• Investigate – Ask yourself where you feel the emotion in your body.
• Nurture – Not identify. Have self-compassion for yourself to understand what is happening in your body.

4 Simple Steps:

1. Take Risks. Don’t be afraid to take the first step
2. Make Authentic Choices
3. Believe that if you don’t know things now, you will know later
4. Be grateful for whatever happens, knowing that it’s a teaching.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

The Gifts of Imperfection – Brene Brown

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This week, Barb and Michelle discuss ways to redefine and reframe regret, so that we can find peace, happiness, and acceptance in the present moment. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Regret can be reframed as a teacher, rather than a negative emotion in our lives.
• You can only make choices with all the information we currently have.     
• When thinking about regrets, try to see how you can work with the present moment, instead of working against it.
• When we really know what matters most to us, then we can actually be in alignment with who we are.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle unpack their own perfectionistic tendencies and the triggers that come along with being a perfectionist. They also provide tips and tricks for how to break the perfectionism cycle and how to cultivate self-compassion.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Triggers for a perfectionist.

• Not wanting to let people down.
• Having trouble delegating tasks, because you feel that you are the only person who can get it done correctly.
• Feeling like if you take a break you’ll fall behind.
• Not enjoying hobbies because you don’t feel you are good enough.
• Procrastinating because you don’t feel ready.
• Revisiting text messages repeatedly before hitting send.
• Having a fear of failure.
• Thinking you are only going to happy when you reach your finish line or complete your task.

Ho'oponopono for Self-forgiveness

To practice ho'oponopono, take five minutes and take a few deep breaths with your eyes closed. Then, slowly repeat these phrases to yourself.

1. I love you.
2. I’m sorry.
3. Please forgive me.
4. Thank you.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

What Made Maddy Run by ESPN commentator Kate Fagan

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This week, Barb and Michelle discuss one of the most important practices we can do for inner peace. Forgiveness is a practice that we often think about extending towards people in our lives who have harmed us, but how often do we extend that same grace to ourselves? In this episode you’ll learn Barb’s practice for self-forgiveness to get you started on your journey.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Self-forgiveness means forgiving ourselves for any thoughts in the past that we wish were different.

Forgiveness can’t be done on command, but you can set the intention to forgive.

Barb’s practice to assist with self-forgiveness

1. I offer myself forgiveness for any harm I may have caused myself or others.
2. I forgive myself for the times I have betrayed myself or others.
3. I forgive myself for the times I have abandoned myself or others.
4. Send love to your heart.
5. I am enough. I am complete. I am loved. I am worthy.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the #1 trait they are working to cultivate this year. Any guesses what it is? Resilience! We know how hard life has been for all of us lately, so tune in to learn their top five tips for cultivating resilience. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Resilience can be learned.

Five tips to help you cultivate your resilience:

1. Shift your perspective.

a. The practice of asking yourself how to see things differently.         

2. Look on the brighter side of the situation.

a. Search for whatever goodness you can find in a bad situation.

b. Visualize what you want to accomplish for yourself. Be specific.

3. Cultivate a deep sense of hope.

4. Have gratitude for the simple joys.

5. Practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck
• Roadmap to Resilience by Donald Meichenbaum

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle switch it up and answer your questions! We are so grateful to everyone who sent in questions, and we loved answering them! The most hot topic questions are on dealing with narcissists, more on our personal story, and more of our thoughts on managing grief!

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.  

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Barb’s favorite books

• Man ‘s Search For Meaning by Vicktor Frankl
• When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön

Michelle’s favorite book

• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life Bookshelf

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about their favorite self-care practice, setting boundaries. In this conversation, they break down what a boundary is, why it’s so helpful for us to set them, and why this practice is truly the ultimate form of self-care.  Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Boundaries allow us to have more compassion. 

Boundaries are not about the other person. They are about self-care and empowering yourself.

How do we set boundaries for ourselves?

• Notice within your life the trigger points that brings complaining. 
• Remove yourself from situations that don’t align with your beliefs. 
• Don’t share private information with people who haven’t earned your trust. 
• Choose to mute or unfollow people that don’t make you feel good about yourself. 

When communicating your boundaries:

• State your needs. Use “I” statements, such as “I need”. Avoid “you” statements and words like never, always, all the time. 
• Be open to listening and engaging with the person you are communicating with. 

Top four tips for setting healthy boundaries:

1. Be clear about what the boundary is. 
2. Keep it simple enough for someone to remember it. 
3. Do not apologize when setting the boundary. It sends mixed messages. 
4. Be consistent when reinforcing your boundaries. 

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown
• Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab 

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about the #1 habit they are trying to break in their relationships…and it might surprise you!  Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

 Episode Notes:

• The desire we have to change other human beings is natural.
• A person isn’t going to change unless they truly want to. You can’t love someone out of their mindset or beliefs.
• People will always do what they want to do, what they feel driven to do and what matters to them.       
• Make a realistic decision on where this person or people fit into your life based on who they are and not on who you wish they could be.               
• Have a connection with yourself to know who you are, what you want, and what you value.
• Be able to communicate these values with your loved ones.
• Ask yourself are you okay with this? Are you okay with how a person may feel or think differently than you do about a situation?
• Focus on the things you can control.
• Give people a chance to transform themselves by themselves.
• Use your energy and time and your precious resources to speak up and speak out and do what matters most to you.

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In this week’s episode of the pod, Barb and Michelle discuss the old adage “you are the company that you keep”. Learn how Barb and Michelle think is the best way to cultivate meaningful, aligned relationships as well as being the example for the people in your life. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Emotional contagion refers to a phenomenon of an automatic adoption of an emotional state of another person. We, as humans, have a natural tendency to mimic the people around us.    

• Spend time with people that align with you are. Carefully choose the company you keep as they can influence how you think about yourself and how show up in the world.

• Be mindful of the places you hang out in, in the digital sphere, as it can influence you as much as those around you.

• You have choice. You can determine how you process and interpret the situation.

• Choose people that inspire you. Embrace the habits that you see in other people that will help you be the best version of yourself.

• Instead of modeling perfection, model authenticity. Be exactly who you are and just show up.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Emotional Contagion (Studies in Emotion and Social Interaction) by Elaine Hatfield, John T. Cacioppo, Richard L. Rapson
• Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about this sneaky habit that drains our energy: writing stories. Our minds are extremely powerful and creative, if unchecked, our minds can go into overdrive writing stories and contemplating possibilities that we simply don't know to be true. We can never know what it’s fully like to walk in someone else’s shoes, so we might as well stop trying to fill in the gaps with our own creative ideas. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Writing stories is the #1 habit that drains our energy.
• Deepen your awareness of what your mind is feeling and where it is going so that you can redirect the mind from going down a negative path.
• Name it to tame it. 
• Noticing and naming our emotions helps create some distance between the emotion and the intense feelings that accompany it.
• Ask yourself, is this true? Is the story you are writing true?
•  Find a neutral statement to replace the negative.
• Ask yourself, is the story that I’m writing right now empowering me and inspiring me?
• The stories we tell about ourselves matter most.    

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor
• Myleik
• Rainer Maria Rilke
• Cheryl Strayed

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In a follow up from last week’s episode about being present, Barb and Michelle dive into the habits that tend to take us out of the present moment, and what we can start to do today, to bring us where our feet are. Remembering that the present moment is where you have all your power.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Studies show 85% of the things we worry about do not happen, and the 15% of the things that do happen, we handle better than we thought we would. 

Common life instances that keep us from being mindful and in the present:

• Worry and anxiety
• Boredom and restlessness
• Impatience

If you are feeling these feelings, take a moment to pause and see where your feet are.

Remember the good that comes from tapping into the new patterns of being more focused and mindful. 

Some of the benefits that come from being present and focused are:

• Having more productive action.
• Being able to recognize the tiny joys.
• More confidence. 
• More energy. 

 Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

A Wandering Mind Not a Happy Mind

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We live in a world that pushes us towards doing many tasks at once, for the sake of productivity and efficiency. In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about why multitasking might not be as beneficial to us as we are made to believe, and challenges us all to start being singularly focused on tasks in our lives.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Being mindful and present is a training of the mind. 
• Find one place in your life where you can be focused.
• The Barb Knows Best Challenge, tell us that one thing you are going to try and be singularly focused on and drop us a note.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Essays and Poems by Ralph Waldo Emerson 
•  Being Conscientiously Still or Stagnant – Michelle’s Blog

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about overwhelm, managing the feelings that come with being too booked and busy, and how we can start to remove things from our very full plates. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Overwhelm means an extreme level of stress and emotional and or cognitive intensity to the point of feeling unable to function. The big difference is we can function and stress. We really can't function in overwhelm. And the research shows the nothingness is the only way to really reset after overwhelm.
• Give yourself the grace to rest, recharge, regroup and start again.

Ways to manage the overwhelm:

1.   Remember to carve out some time for silence and stillness. 
2.   Remember to cultivate positive self-talk.
3.   Remember that you don't have to be perfect and have it all together all the time.
4.   Make your tasks manageable.
5.   Set the boundaries that you need to set, and learn to say no when you need to say no.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Atlas of the Heart by Brene’ Brown

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In this week’s episode, for the first time, Michelle shares her journey to sobriety and recognizing the toxic patterns and habits in her life that stemmed from drinking. Barb and Michelle share their personal stories and histories of addiction, dysfunction, and making the choice to make a change. 

 Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Notice where your “line” is. Know what it means to cross the line.

• Toxic patterns stem from crossing the line, addictive habits stem lines being crossed
•  Notice when your choices are no longer in your control
• Ask yourself, do I have a choice? Am I in control?
• Am I hiding my habits?
• Do I feel shame?

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Sometimes the most difficult thing we can do is say no. Many of us avoid saying no for fear of disappointing, hurting, or pushing away others, but how often does this lead us to say yes to others and no to ourselves? In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about how to say no with confidence, as a highest form of self-care. 

 Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

•   Self-love is an ability that we can cultivate.
•   Identify what's the one thing in the day that you need to do for yourself that will help bring you to that place of being 100%, or feeling close to 100% your best.
•   The loving kindness and care that you share, that you have for yourself, is your highest priority.
•   Self-compassion is one of the secrets to self-care, to being able to say “No” with confidence.

 Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

•    Brene’ Brown
•    A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Ekart Tolle

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle dive into the often painful topic of rejection. Many of us live our lives trying to avoid being rejected at all costs. In this episode, we’ll talk about how to reframe rejection and remember that it’s not rejection, it’s redirection. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast. 

Episode Notes:

1. Ask yourself important questions and get in touch with your emotions. 
2. Don’t beat yourself up, cultivate that self-compassion.
3. Try to see the situation from all perspectives. 
4. Let go of control. 
5. Trust that what is meant for you will find you. 
6. Act as if. If you really are searching for something in your life, act as if you already have it. 
7. Find a trusted support system to help lift your spirits. 
8. Be grounded and confident in yourself. 

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• When Things Fall Apart By Pema Chödrön  
• Michelle’s Blog

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We spend so much time trying to cultivate and perfect relationships in our lives, but so often we push aside the relationship we have with ourselves. In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about how they both started to establish a strong foundation within, why that even matters, and how it impacts every other aspect of life. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

The relationship you have yourself is the most important relationship you will have in your life. 

Have compassion of yourself. We haven’t been taught to listen to the heart and the body instead of only listening to the mind. 

Your life matters. 

The four questions to ask yourself:

1. Who am I?
2. What do I really want? 
3. What matters most to me and what do I value? 
4. What impact do I want to make? How do I show up in the world?

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

James Finley  

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In part two of Barb and Michelle’s take on grief, learn the one common piece of advice that didn’t resonate, and some of the biggest lessons we’ve learned when living with grief. This episode will dive into how we can transform our relationship with grief and learn to ride the waves. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Grief and death are the teacher.
• Accepting that life will never be what it was before, it will take a different form. 
• Healing leads to transformation.
• The 90 Second Rule - According to Harvard brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, ninety seconds is all it takes to identify an emotion and allow it to dissipate while you simply notice it.

Be aware of the different stages of grief you may be in:

1.   Denial 
2.   Anger
3.   Bargaining
4.   Depression
5.   Acceptance

 Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

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In this two-part series, Barb and Michelle open up about their personal experiences with grief and loss. Michelle opens up about the unexpected loss of her dad, and the lessons she learned from her grief, while Barb shares her recent experience of loss and how she is processing it in real-time. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at ww.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

•   Allow yourself the moment to grieve. Be in your feelings.
•   Don’t put yourself on a timeline to feel your grief. 
•   Don’t be embarrassed by your grief. Let yourself be sad. 
•   Don’t compare yourself to others. Grief is personal.
•   Find people who you can be with without judgment.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast: 

• E.E. Cummings – “I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it.”
• Michelle’s Blog

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One of the most common topics we get asked about is how to cultivate confidence. We all want to feel good in our own skin and know that we hold power and meaning in this world. In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss their own journeys to feeling confident, how to “fake it til you make it” and things to remember in the journey to knowing that you’re perfect exactly as you are.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Confidence is knowing you are enough.
• Write down the things you love about yourself and what you are good at. Be grateful for those things.
• The best antidote to self-doubt is taking that one tiny step, because it will move you that little inch forward.
• As promised here the quote that Barb couldn’t quite place…“I never view mistakes as failures. They are simply opportunities to find out what doesn't work.” – Thomas A. Edison
• Visualization as a tool to help you achieve the goals you want from how you want to act or react or goals you want.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

●       Self-Esteem Book – Joe Rubino

●      @hellotefi

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We all know the pain of a difficult romantic break-up, but there’s nothing that stings like a friendship gone south. In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle share their personal stories of friendship break-ups and even how they overcame a heartbreaking ghosting from a close friend.

Learn the lessons they’ve learned from the ending of a friendship, and a reminder that it doesn’t make us any less worthy of love and support. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

When a friendship ends: 

1.   Feel your feelings.
2.   Give yourself a timeframe how long you are going to let yourself sit in the feeling. 
3.   Speak your truth if you can.
4.   Don’t try to control the situation. 
5.   Reflect and try to understand what happened. 
6.   Work through the feelings and find acceptance.  

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Michelle’s Blog

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We hear all the time from listeners that they want to start to incorporate mindfulness practices into their lives, but are unsure where or how to start. In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle dive into how to find your practice, and practice it! They break down the myths and stigmas of what it means to practice mindfulness and help you to better understand how these meaningful tools can be woven into your life.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.  

Episode Notes:

• Consistency is key when finding your practice.
• Take a temperature of yourself and check in with yourself.
• Find your practice and practice it.
• Find your teachings that inspire you and learn from them.
• Find your Community, the people in your life that lift you up and inspire you to the be the best version of you. Be with them.

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Just as Mary Oliver said, we have one wild and precious life. How much of that life do we spend agonizing over pleasing others, and oftentimes, at the expense of our own happiness and joy?In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle tackle the habit of people pleasing, why so many of us fall into this habit, and how we can start to lovingly change gears. Barb and Michelle will give tips and tools on how you can care for yourself, while caring for the people in your life. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Be aware of where people pleasing is showing up in your life and your relationships.
• Get in touch with your feelings. 
• Understand your motive. 
• Communicate your needs clearly and kindly.
• Accept the outcome and release the judgment of that person or whatever happens. Accept your truth. 
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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle differentiate between happiness and joy, and how we can start to cultivate both, even during difficult times. With so much happening in the world around us, it’s easy to believe that happiness is out of reach. In this episode, Barb and Michelle talk about how to identify what brings us joy and how to release the guilt in doing so. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Happiness comes from within.
• Guilt is a useless emotion.
• Journal what you are thinking.
•  Identify the things that bring us joy.
• We are all deserving of that feeling of joy and happiness.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• John O’Donahue
• Thich Nhat Hanh

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Are you someone who internalizes the actions and words of other people? Do you find yourself taking things very personally? If so, you’re not alone! It’s common to feel sensitive about what other people do, especially in how it relates to us. In this week’s episode, Michelle and Barb dive into how we can start to not take what people do personally, and find freedom in doing so. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• What is Triggered? -  Triggered means that someone has done something or said something that creates an emotion. This emotion could be rooted in a past trauma. It's a conditional behavioral response.
• Name it to tame it.
• Awareness is the key to life.
• Just Pause
• The Power of Choice

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Viktor Frankl – “Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response.”
• Michelle’s Blog

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We’ve all felt the pressure and expectation of body image and diet culture. If we want to create changes in any aspect of our lives, it must start with us. In this week's episode, Barb and Michelle dive into body shaming and the language we use around speaking about each other's bodies. Barb vulnerably shares her own story and struggles with eating disorders, and her path to recovery.

Follow @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• You are the boss of your own mind. 
• Connect with your body through yoga, meditation or however you feel best allows you to take a moment to be present and mindful.
• Are you HALTY? 
• Don’t allow yourself to become hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. 
• Take A Pause – Take a pause before you react

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• WOLFPACK: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power, and Change the Game by Abby Wambach
• Glennon Doyle
• Thich Nhat Hanh

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Relationships and how we engage with the people around us can be some of the most challenging lessons and opportunities in life. Lately, we all have felt the strain on interacting with people, and managing the unnecessary stress that difficult conversations can bring. People can be challenging and push our buttons, this happens to all of us.

In this week's episode, Barb and Michelle guide us through ways to identify who those difficult people are and how you can manage your relationships with them and also learn how to tap in if you might be the difficult person yourself. With love of course.

Follow @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

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Life can feel stressful and overwhelming. We all struggle from time-to-time and we are here to help you feel less alone, and maybe give you some tools to guide you through the tough stuff. Barb Knows Best hosts Barb Schmidt and Michelle Maros, a mother-daughter team, are here to invite you into this living room-style chat about life, happiness, and everything in between.

Barb and Michelle are the founders of the non-profit, Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life, which is dedicated to furthering ginner peace and wellness by educating and inspiring individuals. Barb and Michelle have started this podcast to provide you with a more intimate look into how they mindfully manage their daily lives and while facing the challenges of every day. Because as we know, Barb Knows Best!

Follow @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

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A sneak peek at what's ahead on BKB!