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No Return: An Audio Drama by Kier Zhou
No Return is what happens when you give one person too much coffee, a microphone, and a world that won’t stop expanding.
It’s a fantasy series about gods, worlds, mercenaries, lost cities, and bad decisions… but mostly it’s about people trying (and failing) to make sense of the mess they’re in. The tone swings from absurd to sincere, from divine slapstick to quiet tragedy. Sometimes all in the same episode.
If Discworld got tangled up with The Wheel of Time and accidentally wandered into a Tom Sharpe novel, you’d be somewhere close.
The stories jump around the same world, exploring different but intertwined characters, stories and genres.
It’s made on a potato powered laptop, by a guy who clearly doesn’t know when to stop.
If you like things that are funny, sad, overcomplicated, and occasionally, accidentally, profound… you’ll probably like No Return.
But don’t take my word for it…
This show was nominated for Best Audio Drama at the New Zealand Web Fest and officially selected for the Cisco Web Fest, which is pretty good for someone who ran out of money to apply to any more festivals!
Here’s what listeners are saying:
“A journey through a creative mind like no other… I cannot begin to imagine how this creator keeps all his characters and plot lines straight, but it’s a marvel.”
“The quality and sound production are absolutely on point, but it’s the captivating writing and voice acting that keep you coming back.”
“Chaotic [affectionate]. Each arc has something unique - sometimes gut-wrenchingly funny, sometimes grounded — it keeps you on your toes.”
Extra lore, behind-the-scenes chaos, and stray thoughts at:
| Episode | Date |
|---|---|
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Finale: Wide-End: Less Than An Animal!
|
Nov 17, 2025 |
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10: Wide-End: I Shall Deliberate...
|
Nov 10, 2025 |
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7: Wide-End: Someone In This Family Needs To Dare!
|
Nov 03, 2025 |
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5: Wide-End: Swimming in the Endless Sea
|
Oct 27, 2025 |
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7: Mageslayers: Can We Get On With This Please?!
|
Oct 12, 2025 |
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3: Wide-End: Let's See What All The Fuss Is About, Shall We?
|
Oct 05, 2025 |
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1: Wide-End: Bloody Ungrateful Creatures
|
Sep 28, 2025 |
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2: The 2teg: Are You Sure You're Not Just Really, Really, Really Ill?!
|
Jun 01, 2025 |
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1: The 2teg: It's Like Dranekian Theatre!
|
May 31, 2025 |
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3: Anderkant 2: You Truly Know Nothing!
|
May 02, 2025 |
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Bonus Content: The Last To Leave
|
May 02, 2025 |
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2: Anderkant: I Have No Idea What's Happening!
|
May 02, 2025 |
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1: Anderkant 2: I Just Want Out...
|
May 01, 2025 |
|
743$736: F33dErr0r: 9a2t 53v3N.
|
Apr 30, 2025 |
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6: The Orillian 2egiment: That's The Way He’d Want To Go!
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Apr 06, 2025 |
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5: The Orillian 2egiment: He's Not Going To Make It, Is He?
|
Apr 05, 2025 |
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4: Flashback: The Orillian 2egiment: There Is Nothing But Harmony In The Row!
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Apr 04, 2025 |
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3: The Orillian 2egiment: I Told You, Didn't I?
|
Apr 02, 2025 |
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2: The Orillian 2egiment: Well, You Might Well Have Killed Us All!
|
Apr 01, 2025 |
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1: The Orillian 2egiment: These Barbarians!
|
Mar 31, 2025 |
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18: Actual Play: Fate of Daya: "This Is Your Final Warning!”
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Mar 18, 2025 |
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17: Actual Play: Fate of Daya: You Know What Doesn't Have An End?...
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Mar 17, 2025 |
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16: Fate of Daya: Journey to the World-Scar.
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Mar 16, 2025 |
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15: Actual Play: Fate of Daya: Everything is Going to be Fine...
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Mar 15, 2025 |
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14: Actual Play: Fate of Daya: Need You Aid?
|
Mar 14, 2025 |
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13: Actual Play: Fate of Daya: We All Died For Daya!
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Mar 13, 2025 |
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12: Actual Play: Fate of Daya: Everything Is Totally Normal!
|
Mar 12, 2025 |
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11: Actual Play: Fate of Daya: The Clothes Maketh The Man..
|
Mar 11, 2025 |
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10: Actual Play: Fate of Daya: You Wouldn't Believe Me, Even If I Told You...
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Mar 10, 2025 |
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9: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: I Am Quite Concussed!
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Mar 09, 2025 |
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8: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: What Manner Of Gobsh**e Is This!?
|
Mar 08, 2025 |
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7: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: Keep That Blade Sharp, Yeah.
|
Mar 07, 2025 |
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6: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: If You Have To Step Up, You Step Up
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Mar 06, 2025 |
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5: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: I Require It, Nonetheless
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Mar 05, 2025 |
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4: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: "What Do We Do?"
|
Mar 04, 2025 |
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3: Actual: Play: The Fate of Daya: The Battle of Nuur
|
Mar 03, 2025 |
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2: The Fate of Daya: The Adventurers and The City
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Mar 02, 2025 |
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1: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: What is an Actual Play?
|
Mar 01, 2025 |
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74310v3e5: FeedError: 9a2t 51x.
|
Feb 28, 2025 |
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Bonus Content: The Bards of Sada Emedu
|
Feb 07, 2025 |
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5: Anderkant : It Was The Leps!
|
Feb 06, 2025 |
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4: Anderkant: I Can Carry It!
|
Feb 05, 2025 |
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3: Anderkant: I Said Don’t! Interrupt!
|
Feb 05, 2025 |
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2: Anderkant: Please, Call Me 'H'
|
Feb 04, 2025 |
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1: Anderkant: I Can't Do This.
|
Feb 03, 2025 |
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Anderkant Trailer
|
Feb 01, 2025 |
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The Saga Of Thadene Orillian: Part Five.
|
Feb 01, 2025 |
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743$736: FeedError: 9art F1v3.
|
Jan 31, 2025 |
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Mageslayers!
|
Jan 01, 2025 |
|
The Lore of No Return!
|
Oct 07, 2024 |
|
743$736: FeedError: Part Four.
|
Apr 29, 2024 |
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The Saga Of Thadene Orillian: Part Four.
|
Apr 29, 2024 |
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4: The Ansa Enclave: It Appears We Are Being Watched.
|
Apr 05, 2024 |
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3: The Ansa Enclave: Everything is Good, If You Stay with Me.
|
Apr 04, 2024 |
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2: The Ansa Enclave: Into the Wildland.
|
Apr 03, 2024 |
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1: The Ansa Enclave: Lorrin and The Kerret.
|
Apr 02, 2024 |
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The Ansa Enclave: Primer
|
Apr 01, 2024 |
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The Saga Of Thadene Orillian: Part Three.
|
Mar 30, 2024 |
|
6: Mageslayers: A Side Quest?!
|
Mar 21, 2024 |
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5: Mageslayers: WELCOME TO THE REACH BATTLE ARENA!!!!
|
Mar 20, 2024 |
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4: Mageslayers: Who Sh*t In Your Büno?!
|
Mar 19, 2024 |
|
3: Mageslayers: It May Already Be too Late, Eunuch Boy!
|
Mar 18, 2024 |
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The St3g: 9art Thr33.
|
Mar 15, 2024 |
|
11: Pilot: The Kingdom of Lern: The Setting Shadow
|
Mar 13, 2024 |
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9: Pilot: The Kingdom of Lern: The Setting Sun
|
Mar 11, 2024 |
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Bonus Content: The Parable of Elra and the Whispering Willow
|
Mar 10, 2024 |
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8: Pilot: The Kingdom of Lern: The Setting Stage
|
Mar 09, 2024 |
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6: Pilot: The Kingdom of Lern: The Seeds of Severance
|
Mar 07, 2024 |
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4: Pilot: The Kingdom of Lern: The Seeds of Struggle
|
Mar 05, 2024 |
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2: Pilot: The Kingdom of Lern: The Seeds of Strife
|
Mar 03, 2024 |
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Wide-End: Primer
|
Mar 01, 2024 |
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The Saga Of Thadene Orillian: Part 2
|
Feb 08, 2024 |
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The St3g: 9art Two.
|
Feb 07, 2024 |
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5: The Orillian Reg1ment: An All Singing, All Dancing One.
|
Feb 06, 2024 |
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4: The Orillian Reg1ment: You’re Military? You Sound Military.
|
Feb 05, 2024 |
|
Bonus Content: The Soldier, The Skinner And The Weasel
|
Feb 04, 2024 |
|
3: The Orillian Reg1ment: The Weasel Bit It!
|
Feb 03, 2024 |
|
2: The Orillian Reg1ment: It’s a Ship…Not a Boat.
|
Feb 02, 2024 |
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1: The Orillian Reg1ment: HNS Deliverance.
|
Feb 01, 2024 |
|
2: Mageslayers: Revenge of the Cult Teens Of Terrible Darkness
|
Jan 16, 2024 |
|
1: Mageslayers: This Time, It's Me!
|
Jan 15, 2024 |
|
The Saga Of Thadene Orillian: Part One.
|
Jan 11, 2024 |
|
The Steg: Part One.
|
Jan 10, 2024 |
|
Finale: The Nymphaeum: This Is Going To Be A Lot Of Fun!
|
Jan 09, 2024 |
|
The Nymphaeum: Persona Non Grata
|
Jan 08, 2024 |
|
7: The Nymphaeum: You Came From Somewhere Else?
|
Jan 08, 2024 |
|
6: The Nymphaeum: This Isn't Fun Anymore...
|
Jan 06, 2024 |
|
5: The Nymphaeum: Damn! You're Fast!
|
Jan 05, 2024 |
|
4: The Nymphaeum: It's Best Not To Think Too Deeply About it...
|
Jan 04, 2024 |
|
3: The Nymphaeum: A Quest, It Is!
|
Jan 03, 2024 |
|
2: The Nymphaeum: We Don’t Need to Take a Thing!
|
Jan 02, 2024 |
|
1: Listen To This First: How The Show Works
|
Jan 01, 2024 |
|
No Return: Whole Series Trailer
|
Jan 01, 2022 |