Daily Shower Thoughts
By Montgomery Jones and Amalia Dupray
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Image by Montgomery Jones and Amalia Dupray
Category: Stand-Up
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Subscribers: 5
Reviews: 1
Episodes: 1227
Feb 7, 2023
Terrible waste of time
Description
Ever had those moments of clarity under a hot warm shower? Here are some of the best collected from r/showerthoughts. Philosophical, profound, and sometimes comedic musings
Produced daily!
Credits are in the show notes pages of each episode.
Produced by Klassic Studios.
| Episode | Date |
|---|---|
|
Colloquial is very much not a colloquial word | + 27 more...
|
Sep 03, 2025 |
|
People talks about extinct animals but not plants | + 24 more...
|
Sep 02, 2025 |
|
Your generation title is the new astrology sign | + 26 more...
|
Sep 01, 2025 |
|
Archaeology is almost always groundbreaking. | + 26 more...
|
Aug 31, 2025 |
|
Everyone you touch will die, but not instantly. | + 28 more...
|
Aug 30, 2025 |
|
A car's faulty fuel gauge can gaslight you | + 28 more...
|
Aug 29, 2025 |
|
There is no way to gracefully chase a bouncy ball | + 28 more...
|
Aug 28, 2025 |
|
A good post is only as good as its best comment. | + 25 more...
|
Aug 27, 2025 |
|
Salt and Sugar can make or break foods and drinks | + 24 more...
|
Aug 26, 2025 |
|
Dryer lint is the average colour of your laundry | + 25 more...
|
Aug 25, 2025 |
|
Santa has a really weird job | + 27 more...
|
Aug 24, 2025 |
|
Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from. | + 28 more...
|
Aug 23, 2025 |
|
With enough confidence, anything can be a chair. | + 26 more...
|
Aug 22, 2025 |
|
Door to door salesman are in real life pop up ads | + 25 more...
|
Aug 21, 2025 |
|
When you're living, you're also dying in a sense. | + 28 more...
|
Aug 20, 2025 |
|
Almost all criminals are bad at being criminals. | + 26 more...
|
Aug 19, 2025 |
|
Nature Valley bars are the glitter bombs of food. | + 26 more...
|
Aug 18, 2025 |
|
Cells are multiplied by dividing themselves | + 27 more...
|
Aug 17, 2025 |
|
The CIA is omnipotent in conspiracy theories. | + 28 more...
|
Aug 16, 2025 |
|
The buttplug is the pacifier’s first cousin. | + 25 more...
|
Aug 15, 2025 |
|
Humans are the most widespread invasive species. | + 28 more...
|
Aug 14, 2025 |
|
Our ancestors would be so confused about us trying to avoid 'spoiling our appetite'. | + 27 more...
|
Aug 13, 2025 |
|
No one sings you happy birthday when you’re born | + 28 more...
|
Aug 12, 2025 |
|
Hourly wage workers get punished for efficiency | + 26 more...
|
Aug 11, 2025 |
|
‘Boxing gloves’ aren’t gloves, they’re mittens | + 26 more...
|
Aug 10, 2025 |
|
Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 24 more...
|
Aug 09, 2025 |
|
Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 24 more...
|
Aug 08, 2025 |
|
Getting the job is harder than doing the job | + 24 more...
|
Aug 07, 2025 |
|
The world will never be peaceful or equal. | + 28 more...
|
Aug 06, 2025 |
|
Machine gunners in movies never swap out barrels. | + 26 more...
|
Aug 05, 2025 |
|
Doppelgangers are isotopes of the same gene pool | + 25 more...
|
Aug 04, 2025 |
|
Drummers are Conductors for their band. | + 24 more...
|
Aug 03, 2025 |
|
The Matrix is already a quarter century old | + 27 more...
|
Aug 02, 2025 |
|
You have to fake sleep before you can real sleep. | + 26 more...
|
Aug 01, 2025 |
|
The sharpest blade is the one you’ll never feel. | + 24 more...
|
Jul 31, 2025 |
|
Most family recipes likely come from a cookbook | + 28 more...
|
Jul 30, 2025 |
|
Taking candy from a baby is actually a good thing | + 26 more...
|
Jul 29, 2025 |
|
Most pets have probably never met their fathers | + 27 more...
|
Jul 28, 2025 |
|
Technically, every house is a homeless shelter | + 28 more...
|
Jul 27, 2025 |
|
We're the intermediary in the landfill industry | + 24 more...
|
Jul 26, 2025 |
|
Logically a craigslist is someone who craigsls | + 24 more...
|
Jul 25, 2025 |
|
There are stars that are bigger than black holes. | + 26 more...
|
Jul 24, 2025 |
|
Chicken Caesar salad is poor man’s surf and turf | + 28 more...
|
Jul 23, 2025 |
|
MSN Messenger was training for Microsoft Teams. | + 27 more...
|
Jul 22, 2025 |
|
The Epic of Gilgamesh is doomed yaoi. | + 24 more...
|
Jul 21, 2025 |
|
Anything is portable if you're strong enough. | + 26 more...
|
Jul 20, 2025 |
|
To antimatter entities, we'd be the antimatter. | + 25 more...
|
Jul 19, 2025 |
|
Parallelograms are lazy rectangles. | + 27 more...
|
Jul 18, 2025 |
|
We frown on nepotism but praise family businesses | + 28 more...
|
Jul 17, 2025 |
|
It must be hard to tell if an actor is lying. | + 24 more...
|
Jul 16, 2025 |
|
Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 25 more...
|
Jul 15, 2025 |
|
Life feels more real when it's warm outside | + 25 more...
|
Jul 14, 2025 |
|
People also shed skin, only very slowly | + 26 more...
|
Jul 13, 2025 |
|
A bullet only does it's job after it's fired | + 27 more...
|
Jul 12, 2025 |
|
It's okay to bet as long as you never gamble. | + 27 more...
|
Jul 11, 2025 |
|
Bullseye would be the world's greatest juggler. | + 24 more...
|
Jul 10, 2025 |
|
Solar power is technically nuclear power. | + 28 more...
|
Jul 09, 2025 |
|
We rarely ever see suits stored in suitcases. | + 27 more...
|
Jul 08, 2025 |
|
Modern cars are kind of like mini spaceships | + 26 more...
|
Jul 07, 2025 |
|
The price of going barefoot is a stubbed toe. | + 28 more...
|
Jul 06, 2025 |
|
Quebec is the Wario of France. | + 24 more...
|
Jul 05, 2025 |
|
Humans are the only species they named themselves | + 25 more...
|
Jul 04, 2025 |
|
You never hear anyone swear to Satan | + 25 more...
|
Jul 03, 2025 |
|
Star Trek was a military roleplay for pacifists. | + 26 more...
|
Jul 02, 2025 |
|
Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 25 more...
|
Jul 01, 2025 |
|
Maturity is knowing when to be immature. | + 28 more...
|
Jun 30, 2025 |
|
Sperm donation is human pollination. | + 27 more...
|
Jun 29, 2025 |
|
Everyone’s got one good gofundme in them. | + 26 more...
|
Jun 28, 2025 |
|
Most people will not be able to retire | + 28 more...
|
Jun 27, 2025 |
|
Somebody needs to go wake up Green Day. | + 25 more...
|
Jun 26, 2025 |
|
Most of our litter will be artifacts in 100 years | + 24 more...
|
Jun 25, 2025 |
|
You can’t touch music, but music can touch you. | + 28 more...
|
Jun 24, 2025 |
|
Most underestimate the capability of humans. | + 24 more...
|
Jun 23, 2025 |
|
All storms at the north pole come from the south. | + 26 more...
|
Jun 22, 2025 |
|
House spiders were around before houses existed. | + 24 more...
|
Jun 21, 2025 |
|
Botox is a performance enhancing drug for poker. | + 26 more...
|
Jun 20, 2025 |
|
We will never truly know when humans go extinct. | + 28 more...
|
Jun 19, 2025 |
|
The tooth fairy teaches us to sell our bodies | + 24 more...
|
Jun 18, 2025 |
|
Making a family is not very family friendly. | + 24 more...
|
Jun 17, 2025 |
|
Freedom of speech is free. Being heard is not. | + 28 more...
|
Jun 16, 2025 |
|
Octopi and mushrooms give off the same energy | + 26 more...
|
Jun 15, 2025 |
|
The lottery is pay to win | + 28 more...
|
Jun 14, 2025 |
|
Twitch streamers are professional ramblers. | + 28 more...
|
Jun 13, 2025 |
|
Death is only sad for the ones left living. | + 26 more...
|
Jun 12, 2025 |
|
Hot water smells different than cold water | + 24 more...
|
Jun 11, 2025 |
|
Been yelled at more as an adult than as a kid. | + 24 more...
|
Jun 10, 2025 |
|
The most common place to stand is 'around.' | + 27 more...
|
Jun 09, 2025 |
|
You know you're thirsty when water tastes good | + 28 more...
|
Jun 08, 2025 |
|
People just act like analyst is a normal word. | + 28 more...
|
Jun 07, 2025 |
|
Life is the freest thing, yet we monetize it | + 26 more...
|
Jun 06, 2025 |
|
The majority of jobs can be learned by googling | + 26 more...
|
Jun 05, 2025 |
|
Two people can not go to each others’ funeral. | + 27 more...
|
Jun 04, 2025 |
|
beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 27 more...
|
Jun 03, 2025 |
|
The second we die, we become someone's job. | + 24 more...
|
Jun 02, 2025 |
|
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid | + 25 more...
|
Jun 01, 2025 |
|
World wars have never involved the entire world. | + 26 more...
|
May 31, 2025 |
|
Batman's Utility belt is a glorified Fanny Pack | + 28 more...
|
May 30, 2025 |
|
Star Trek was a military roleplay for pacifists. | + 24 more...
|
May 29, 2025 |
|
Some people get nostalgia from smelling ammonia | + 28 more...
|
May 28, 2025 |
|
Your pee is always touching your body. | + 26 more...
|
May 27, 2025 |
|
Every living organism is 100% recycled material. | + 28 more...
|
May 26, 2025 |
|
A cyclops wouldn’t have any depth perception. | + 24 more...
|
May 25, 2025 |
|
Wearing cosmetics is old school editing. | + 25 more...
|
May 24, 2025 |
|
The sharpest blade is the one you’ll never feel. | + 28 more...
|
May 23, 2025 |
|
Every wooden house is technically a tree house | + 26 more...
|
May 22, 2025 |
|
You never see katana videos where they cut bones | + 27 more...
|
May 21, 2025 |
|
Your car key has traveled more than your car | + 25 more...
|
May 20, 2025 |
|
To cut bread into 10 slices, you need 9 slices. | + 27 more...
|
May 19, 2025 |
|
Overthinking is rarely a problem for the majority | + 27 more...
|
May 18, 2025 |
|
Our insides are always in complete darkness | + 27 more...
|
May 17, 2025 |
|
Everyone wants to get old, but not be old. | + 25 more...
|
May 16, 2025 |
|
Your generation title is the new astrology sign | + 27 more...
|
May 15, 2025 |
|
A telephone makes sound travel faster than sound. | + 26 more...
|
May 14, 2025 |
|
Most men get their first flowers at their funeral | + 28 more...
|
May 13, 2025 |
|
There must be gay couples named Adam and Steve | + 27 more...
|
May 12, 2025 |
|
Nothing sounds as nonsensical as a flying disc | + 24 more...
|
May 11, 2025 |
|
A full bladder is the most effective alarm clock. | + 26 more...
|
May 10, 2025 |
|
true collectibles don't start out as collectibles | + 26 more...
|
May 09, 2025 |
|
Woodpeckers are the jackhammers of the forest | + 24 more...
|
May 08, 2025 |
|
Robot errors are still caused by human error | + 24 more...
|
May 07, 2025 |
|
Air vents in film are always way too clean | + 25 more...
|
May 06, 2025 |
|
You see more suns at night than in the daytime. | + 26 more...
|
May 05, 2025 |
|
Morality and knowledge are not directly related | + 25 more...
|
May 04, 2025 |
|
There just aren't enough cats in Star Wars. | + 26 more...
|
May 03, 2025 |
|
Abnormal things happen, and that's normal. | + 25 more...
|
May 01, 2025 |
|
You are never blown by the same wind twice. | + 26 more...
|
Apr 30, 2025 |
|
Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 28 more...
|
Apr 29, 2025 |
|
The Cybertruck is the DeLorean of our generation. | + 25 more...
|
Apr 28, 2025 |
|
Someone came up with the concept of concepts | + 25 more...
|
Apr 27, 2025 |
|
Cereal boxes never state milk is sold separately | + 28 more...
|
Apr 26, 2025 |
|
Technically a cigarette is a type of veggie wrap | + 26 more...
|
Apr 25, 2025 |
|
Your body is the most complex thing that you own. | + 28 more...
|
Apr 24, 2025 |
|
Teeth are luxury bones to insurance companies. | + 28 more...
|
Apr 23, 2025 |
|
Any carpet not fixed into place is a rug. | + 27 more...
|
Apr 22, 2025 |
|
Most Michael Jackson impersonators are white. | + 26 more...
|
Apr 21, 2025 |
|
If a rhythm is fast enough, it becomes a pitch. | + 25 more...
|
Apr 20, 2025 |
|
One day you will have your last bite of pizza. | + 26 more...
|
Apr 19, 2025 |
|
Only jeans are sold intentionally broken. | + 26 more...
|
Apr 18, 2025 |
|
Public transportation teaches us to be punctual | + 27 more...
|
Apr 17, 2025 |
|
Selfies with celebrities have replaced autographs | + 24 more...
|
Apr 16, 2025 |
|
A river is water with food in it. | + 24 more...
|
Apr 15, 2025 |
|
Being aware of our own ignorance is so powerful. | + 24 more...
|
Apr 14, 2025 |
|
First you learn to read, then you read to learn. | + 25 more...
|
Apr 13, 2025 |
|
The world used to be free. Now it closes at 11PM. | + 25 more...
|
Apr 12, 2025 |
|
When you're pregnant, every hug is a group hug. | + 26 more...
|
Apr 11, 2025 |
|
In plumbing, nipples are exclusively male things. | + 28 more...
|
Apr 10, 2025 |
|
Salt and Sugar can make or break foods and drinks | + 24 more...
|
Apr 09, 2025 |
|
Only you know the taste of the food you've eaten. | + 27 more...
|
Apr 08, 2025 |
|
Billboards are the cereal boxes of the road. | + 28 more...
|
Apr 07, 2025 |
|
Abnormal things happen, and that's normal. | + 28 more...
|
Apr 06, 2025 |
|
Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 27 more...
|
Apr 05, 2025 |
|
The fear of showing you're scared is doubly scary | + 27 more...
|
Apr 04, 2025 |
|
Nostalgia is no different than emotional Deja Vu. | + 28 more...
|
Apr 03, 2025 |
|
Spinning a spinner actually makes you the spinner | + 24 more...
|
Apr 02, 2025 |
|
Teeth are luxury bones to insurance companies. | + 27 more...
|
Apr 01, 2025 |
|
The only thing guaranteed in life is death | + 24 more...
|
Mar 31, 2025 |
|
Once news ceases to be news, it becomes history. | + 28 more...
|
Mar 30, 2025 |
|
Working in a morgue is a near death experience. | + 27 more...
|
Mar 29, 2025 |
|
Popcorn is technically a fried food. | + 27 more...
|
Mar 28, 2025 |
|
Doing work is easier than doing nothing all day. | + 28 more...
|
Mar 27, 2025 |
|
We just take vacations to microdose on being rich | + 28 more...
|
Mar 26, 2025 |
|
We are an NPC in everyone's life except ours | + 25 more...
|
Mar 25, 2025 |
|
About half of all escalators don't. | + 26 more...
|
Mar 24, 2025 |
|
Paprika is the savory version of cinnamon | + 25 more...
|
Mar 23, 2025 |
|
A cyclops wouldn’t have any depth perception. | + 26 more...
|
Mar 22, 2025 |
|
You have a new first word every language learned | + 28 more...
|
Mar 21, 2025 |
|
At some point, kids won’t know who Ash Ketchum is | + 28 more...
|
Mar 20, 2025 |
|
A brain transplant is actually a body transplant | + 27 more...
|
Mar 19, 2025 |
|
In a cornfield, spiders DO make cobwebs. | + 24 more...
|
Mar 18, 2025 |
|
We waste so much space staying on the surface. | + 27 more...
|
Mar 17, 2025 |
|
From the Sun’s perspective, shadows don’t exist | + 27 more...
|
Mar 16, 2025 |
|
1981 and 2024 are as far apart as 1981 and 1938 | + 27 more...
|
Mar 15, 2025 |
|
Technology can hinder natural evolution in humans | + 24 more...
|
Mar 14, 2025 |
|
Mold growing on mushrooms is fungus Inception | + 28 more...
|
Mar 13, 2025 |
|
Very full is less than just full. | + 25 more...
|
Mar 12, 2025 |
|
Breasts are nature's stress balls | + 25 more...
|
Mar 11, 2025 |
|
A solution without a problem is a problem. | + 27 more...
|
Mar 10, 2025 |
|
No one in the live studio audience ever sneezes | + 25 more...
|
Mar 09, 2025 |
|
Teeth are luxury bones to insurance companies. | + 27 more...
|
Mar 08, 2025 |
|
Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 26 more...
|
Mar 07, 2025 |
|
Lots of people use cheese like it's a seasoning. | + 25 more...
|
Mar 06, 2025 |
|
You will never see your own death certificate | + 26 more...
|
Mar 05, 2025 |
|
Very strict parents raise highly skilled liars. | + 27 more...
|
Mar 04, 2025 |
|
Forensic Analysis and Archaeology are in the same field, but the main factor is how long the body has been there. | + 24 more...
|
Mar 03, 2025 |
|
All storms at the north pole come from the south. | + 26 more...
|
Mar 02, 2025 |
|
twentyfourcharacterslong is 24 characters long | + 26 more...
|
Mar 01, 2025 |
|
Sometimes it’s wrong to be right | + 28 more...
|
Feb 28, 2025 |
|
We are closer to 2070 than we are to 1970. | + 25 more...
|
Feb 27, 2025 |
|
Everything you can think of is a human concept | + 27 more...
|
Feb 26, 2025 |
|
Botox is a performance enhancing drug for poker. | + 28 more...
|
Feb 25, 2025 |
|
Whether something is a spectrum or not is binary | + 25 more...
|
Feb 24, 2025 |
|
Any site is a dating site if you’re brave enough | + 27 more...
|
Feb 23, 2025 |
|
When you eat salt, you’re just eating rocks. | + 28 more...
|
Feb 22, 2025 |
|
Some of the cheapest food is the healthiest | + 27 more...
|
Feb 21, 2025 |
|
Fasting is the cheapest dieting option. | + 26 more...
|
Feb 20, 2025 |
|
Bad reviews are more helpful than good reviews. | + 26 more...
|
Feb 19, 2025 |
|
The more you enjoy life, the shorter it feels. | + 26 more...
|
Feb 18, 2025 |
|
You've never been in an empty room before. | + 26 more...
|
Feb 17, 2025 |
|
The handle of an ax is a traitor to his own race. | + 28 more...
|
Feb 16, 2025 |
|
Whether something is a spectrum or not is binary | + 24 more...
|
Feb 15, 2025 |
|
The best birthday a guy can have is February 14. | + 28 more...
|
Feb 14, 2025 |
|
Overthinking is rarely a problem for the majority | + 26 more...
|
Feb 13, 2025 |
|
Makeup shouldn’t be allowed in beauty contests. | + 25 more...
|
Feb 12, 2025 |
|
Coffee filters and muffin wrappers are cousins | + 26 more...
|
Feb 11, 2025 |
|
People talks about extinct animals but not plants | + 24 more...
|
Feb 10, 2025 |
|
Zoomed out enough, everyone’s living on an island | + 24 more...
|
Feb 09, 2025 |
|
Fish and Birds are not pets, they are prisoners | + 26 more...
|
Feb 08, 2025 |
|
Coffee filters and muffin wrappers are cousins | + 25 more...
|
Feb 07, 2025 |
|
When you light a lighter, it gets lighter | + 24 more...
|
Feb 06, 2025 |
|
Trail mix is a slow feeder for children | + 28 more...
|
Feb 05, 2025 |
|
You can hire a clown to perform just for you. | + 26 more...
|
Feb 04, 2025 |
|
Nothing makes sense, makes sense. | + 25 more...
|
Feb 03, 2025 |
|
You never hear about cellphone cameras breaking. | + 27 more...
|
Feb 02, 2025 |
|
House spiders were around before houses existed. | + 24 more...
|
Feb 01, 2025 |
|
Balloons are the most impacted by Inflation. | + 28 more...
|
Jan 31, 2025 |
|
Intimacy is being weird and unfiltered together. | + 27 more...
|
Jan 30, 2025 |
|
Every living organism is 100% recycled material. | + 24 more...
|
Jan 29, 2025 |
|
All our thoughts are filtered through language. | + 26 more...
|
Jan 28, 2025 |
|
Women have more privacy in restrooms than men | + 26 more...
|
Jan 27, 2025 |
|
Photoshop and filters are plagiarized beauty. | + 25 more...
|
Jan 26, 2025 |
|
You have a new first word every language learned | + 27 more...
|
Jan 25, 2025 |
|
All our thoughts are filtered through language. | + 27 more...
|
Jan 24, 2025 |
|
Intimacy is being weird and unfiltered together. | + 25 more...
|
Jan 23, 2025 |
|
A sausage is a meat balloon | + 26 more...
|
Jan 22, 2025 |
|
Giving birth must have been easy for Elastigirl | + 26 more...
|
Jan 21, 2025 |
|
Unclipped toenails drive sock sales | + 27 more...
|
Jan 20, 2025 |
|
We just take vacations to microdose on being rich | + 26 more...
|
Jan 19, 2025 |
|
Pigeons and pissed kitties emit identical sounds | + 25 more...
|
Jan 18, 2025 |
|
Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 24 more...
|
Jan 17, 2025 |
|
Arguing with someone online is turn based combat. | + 28 more...
|
Jan 16, 2025 |
|
you dont need to raise your hand when knocking | + 28 more...
|
Jan 15, 2025 |
|
Your pillow is also a second bed for your head. | + 26 more...
|
Jan 14, 2025 |
|
Touchscreens are a step backwards for the blind | + 25 more...
|
Jan 13, 2025 |
|
Most of us won't see the year 2100 | + 25 more...
|
Jan 12, 2025 |
|
Life gives you the test before the lesson | + 27 more...
|
Jan 11, 2025 |
|
Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 24 more...
|
Jan 10, 2025 |
|
Giving birth must have been easy for Elastigirl | + 27 more...
|
Jan 09, 2025 |
|
Laptops are predominantly used as desktop. | + 26 more...
|
Jan 08, 2025 |
|
There’s no such thing as an endless supply | + 24 more...
|
Jan 07, 2025 |
|
If DNA collection was mandatory at birth, there would be a significant increase in solved crimes. | + 28 more...
|
Jan 06, 2025 |
|
We live in a world where even dying is expensive | + 28 more...
|
Jan 05, 2025 |
|
You're late only if you do actually show up. | + 28 more...
|
Jan 04, 2025 |
|
Pancakes have absolutely no standard size | + 25 more...
|
Jan 03, 2025 |
|
Pets are the aristocrats of the animal kingdom. | + 24 more...
|
Jan 02, 2025 |
|
beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 24 more...
|
Jan 01, 2025 |
|
Clapping is a form of peer pressure | + 24 more...
|
Dec 31, 2024 |
|
Once news ceases to be news, it becomes history. | + 28 more...
|
Dec 30, 2024 |
|
Heavy metal poisoning isn't as cool as it sounds. | + 28 more...
|
Dec 29, 2024 |
|
Dogs must be sad that we never lick them | + 24 more...
|
Dec 28, 2024 |
|
Out there is person, who did the rickroll first | + 28 more...
|
Dec 27, 2024 |
|
Most people wipe one times too many | + 24 more...
|
Dec 26, 2024 |
|
Corn dogs are meat twinkies. | + 28 more...
|
Dec 25, 2024 |
|
Working in a morgue is a near death experience. | + 27 more...
|
Dec 24, 2024 |
|
You know you're thirsty when water tastes good | + 27 more...
|
Dec 23, 2024 |
|
The lottery is pay to win | + 24 more...
|
Dec 22, 2024 |
|
In Home Alone 2, Kevin is neither home nor alone for most of the movie. | + 25 more...
|
Dec 21, 2024 |
|
Vibranium is the Marvel mithril. | + 27 more...
|
Dec 20, 2024 |
|
Egg salad is chicken salad. | + 28 more...
|
Dec 19, 2024 |
|
Wood is rarer in the universe than diamonds | + 24 more...
|
Dec 18, 2024 |
|
Animals might think the road is one long rock | + 26 more...
|
Dec 17, 2024 |
|
We are a sad generation with happy pictures | + 28 more...
|
Dec 16, 2024 |
|
A brain transplant is actually a body transplant | + 26 more...
|
Dec 15, 2024 |
|
Spinning a spinner actually makes you the spinner | + 24 more...
|
Dec 14, 2024 |
|
It’s harder to reject pleasure than ignore pain | + 28 more...
|
Dec 13, 2024 |
|
Video games are mini games in the game of life. | + 25 more...
|
Dec 12, 2024 |
|
Touchscreens are a step backwards for the blind | + 26 more...
|
Dec 11, 2024 |
|
To be smart is realizing you really aren't | + 24 more...
|
Dec 10, 2024 |
|
When they die the composers become decomposers. | + 26 more...
|
Dec 09, 2024 |
|
The more people that get diagnosed as neurodivergent, the less typical neurotypicals become. | + 24 more...
|
Dec 08, 2024 |
|
Technology can hinder natural evolution in humans | + 26 more...
|
Dec 07, 2024 |
|
A sundial is technically a nuclear powered clock | + 27 more...
|
Dec 06, 2024 |
|
You're late only if you do actually show up. | + 26 more...
|
Dec 05, 2024 |
|
Space stations are the least stationary stations. | + 24 more...
|
Dec 04, 2024 |
|
Saliva becomes gross when it's cold. | + 25 more...
|
Dec 03, 2024 |
|
Most of us are here because we are bored. | + 24 more...
|
Dec 02, 2024 |
|
You will never see your death certificate | + 27 more...
|
Dec 01, 2024 |
|
In a skeleton fight, every fracture is exposed. | + 28 more...
|
Nov 30, 2024 |
|
People talks about extinct animals but not plants | + 28 more...
|
Nov 29, 2024 |
|
Retirement isn't an age, it's a financial status. | + 28 more...
|
Nov 28, 2024 |
|
Touchscreens are a step backwards for the blind | + 28 more...
|
Nov 27, 2024 |
|
The most boring person you recognize is youself | + 26 more...
|
Nov 26, 2024 |
|
Onomatopoeia doesn't exist in signed languages | + 24 more...
|
Nov 25, 2024 |
|
The world used to be free. Now it closes at 11PM. | + 24 more...
|
Nov 24, 2024 |
|
Spice is the only flavor our buttholes can taste. | + 25 more...
|
Nov 23, 2024 |
|
First you learn to read, then you read to learn. | + 25 more...
|
Nov 22, 2024 |
|
Technically, all plants are fusion powered. | + 25 more...
|
Nov 21, 2024 |
|
Mayonnaise is the exact inverse of Meringue | + 26 more...
|
Nov 20, 2024 |
|
Our bodies are planets for microorganisms. | + 24 more...
|
Nov 19, 2024 |
|
Manslaughter sounds way worse than murder | + 26 more...
|
Nov 18, 2024 |
|
dinosaur nuggies are made from evolved dinosaurs | + 27 more...
|
Nov 17, 2024 |
|
People lived in New Mexico before Mexico. | + 28 more...
|
Nov 16, 2024 |
|
You have to fake sleep before you can real sleep. | + 27 more...
|
Nov 15, 2024 |
|
You never hear any stories about King Charming. | + 24 more...
|
Nov 14, 2024 |
|
Steve Backshall sort of looks like Steve Irwin. | + 25 more...
|
Nov 13, 2024 |
|
A sundial is technically a nuclear powered clock | + 24 more...
|
Nov 12, 2024 |
|
The invention of the wheel was revolutionary | + 27 more...
|
Nov 11, 2024 |
|
The Milky Way actually has milk in it | + 24 more...
|
Nov 10, 2024 |
|
You have one dominant way of crossing your arms | + 26 more...
|
Nov 09, 2024 |
|
A moonlit night is really a sunlit night. | + 24 more...
|
Nov 08, 2024 |
|
Therapists talk you into brainwashing yourself. | + 26 more...
|
Nov 07, 2024 |
|
Eating an ape would make you a kind of cannibal. | + 27 more...
|
Nov 05, 2024 |
|
Maturity is knowing when to be immature. | + 25 more...
|
Nov 04, 2024 |
|
If bugs had a society like ours, their daily routine would be nonstop funerals. | + 24 more...
|
Nov 03, 2024 |
|
You can breakfast anytime during the day. | + 27 more...
|
Nov 02, 2024 |
|
Life is the freest thing, yet we monetize it | + 27 more...
|
Nov 01, 2024 |
|
We don't see anything except light. | + 28 more...
|
Oct 31, 2024 |
|
Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 24 more...
|
Oct 30, 2024 |
|
Each person really only gets one hill to die on. | + 24 more...
|
Oct 29, 2024 |
|
You don’t see a hole, you see what’s around it. | + 25 more...
|
Oct 28, 2024 |
|
Not enough songs have a xylophone solo in them. | + 26 more...
|
Oct 27, 2024 |
|
You only know you’ve fallen asleep once you’ve woken up. | + 27 more...
|
Oct 26, 2024 |
|
Zoomed out enough, everyone’s living on an island | + 28 more...
|
Oct 25, 2024 |
|
Imagine if Oxygen was visible to the naked eye. | + 25 more...
|
Oct 24, 2024 |
|
A broken dishwasher makes a damn fine drying rack | + 28 more...
|
Oct 23, 2024 |
|
It’s really easy to forget that vanilla is black | + 25 more...
|
Oct 22, 2024 |
|
Technically, everyone is full of themselves. | + 25 more...
|
Oct 21, 2024 |
|
Crazy how your nipple are older than your teeth | + 26 more...
|
Oct 20, 2024 |
|
Any site is a dating site if you’re brave enough | + 25 more...
|
Oct 19, 2024 |
|
Human skin is really good at not getting stained | + 25 more...
|
Oct 18, 2024 |
|
Everything in the universe was once touching. | + 26 more...
|
Oct 17, 2024 |
|
Humans are technically a hydroelectric bioreactor | + 24 more...
|
Oct 16, 2024 |
|
You do not see keyboards with lowercase letters. | + 25 more...
|
Oct 15, 2024 |
|
A full bladder is the most effective alarm clock. | + 25 more...
|
Oct 14, 2024 |
|
Many people sleep to escape their nightmare. | + 28 more...
|
Oct 13, 2024 |
|
Musically, Bo Burnham is Weird Al’s evil twin. | + 27 more...
|
Oct 12, 2024 |
|
Most of our litter will be artifacts in 100 years | + 24 more...
|
Oct 11, 2024 |
|
Every stranger is a window to new opportunities. | + 24 more...
|
Oct 10, 2024 |
|
Everything is too much until you're used to it. | + 24 more...
|
Oct 09, 2024 |
|
The taste of cola is almost impossible to explain | + 28 more...
|
Oct 08, 2024 |
|
Some of the cheapest food is the healthiest | + 28 more...
|
Oct 07, 2024 |
|
Deaf people must be very good at playing charades | + 25 more...
|
Oct 06, 2024 |
|
Duos are more memorable than trios. | + 25 more...
|
Oct 05, 2024 |
|
The older you get, the riskier it is to fart. | + 25 more...
|
Oct 04, 2024 |
|
Chicken Caesar salad is poor man’s surf and turf | + 25 more...
|
Oct 03, 2024 |
|
A broken dishwasher makes a damn fine drying rack | + 28 more...
|
Oct 02, 2024 |
|
Dolphins have belly buttons. That's weird. | + 25 more...
|
Oct 01, 2024 |
|
Cannibal tribes probably don’t believe in ghosts | + 25 more...
|
Sep 30, 2024 |
|
For some, a grave is the only property they'll ever own. | + 24 more...
|
Sep 29, 2024 |
|
Scars tell a story that only few know. | + 28 more...
|
Sep 28, 2024 |
|
It's a shame that more of history wasn't recorded | + 24 more...
|
Sep 27, 2024 |
|
A duck with one leg swims in circles | + 26 more...
|
Sep 26, 2024 |
|
Selfies with celebrities have replaced autographs | + 25 more...
|
Sep 25, 2024 |
|
Tipping is after the help and bribing is before | + 28 more...
|
Sep 24, 2024 |
|
A solution without a problem is a problem. | + 25 more...
|
Sep 23, 2024 |
|
Laundry is telling your clothes to take a shower. | + 25 more...
|
Sep 22, 2024 |
|
There is no 10 in a base infinity number system. | + 25 more...
|
Sep 21, 2024 |
|
dinosaur nuggies are made from evolved dinosaurs | + 24 more...
|
Sep 20, 2024 |
|
beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 25 more...
|
Sep 19, 2024 |
|
You never see meat based vegetables | + 28 more...
|
Sep 18, 2024 |
|
To be subpar in golf you have to be above par. | + 26 more...
|
Sep 17, 2024 |
|
Everyone in the world is the winner of sperm race | + 26 more...
|
Sep 16, 2024 |
|
Sauce is paint for your tastebuds | + 25 more...
|
Sep 15, 2024 |
|
Homeless people can’t be put under house arrest | + 26 more...
|
Sep 14, 2024 |
|
There will eventually be a last mortal human. | + 26 more...
|
Sep 13, 2024 |
|
Humans are an invasive species to most places | + 26 more...
|
Sep 12, 2024 |
|
The bedroom is the real restroom | + 28 more...
|
Sep 11, 2024 |
|
You can't really stand backwards on stairs. | + 26 more...
|
Sep 10, 2024 |
|
You know a fart is bad when it even bothers you. | + 27 more...
|
Sep 09, 2024 |
|
We are never not tasting something. | + 28 more...
|
Sep 08, 2024 |
|
You know a fart is bad when it even bothers you. | + 27 more...
|
Sep 07, 2024 |
|
Bingo was the name of the farmer, not the dog. | + 24 more...
|
Sep 06, 2024 |
|
Tipping is after the help and bribing is before | + 25 more...
|
Sep 05, 2024 |
|
Everything in the universe is a little bit bendy | + 25 more...
|
Sep 04, 2024 |
|
The sharpest blade is the one you’ll never feel. | + 26 more...
|
Sep 03, 2024 |
|
To be smart is realizing you really aren't | + 28 more...
|
Sep 02, 2024 |
|
Girl friends are the gateway drug to girlfriends. | + 27 more...
|
Sep 01, 2024 |
|
Real glass cannons would break from the recoil. | + 24 more...
|
Aug 31, 2024 |
|
Mindy still owes millions of people a Gengar. | + 27 more...
|
Aug 30, 2024 |
|
We waste so much space staying on the surface. | + 25 more...
|
Aug 29, 2024 |
|
Little Billy is a modern folklore character. | + 24 more...
|
Aug 28, 2024 |
|
Hush puppies are just ️oneless corn dogs. | + 28 more...
|
Aug 27, 2024 |
|
2040 is closer than 2006 | + 26 more...
|
Aug 26, 2024 |
|
Balloons are the most impacted by Inflation. | + 25 more...
|
Aug 25, 2024 |
|
Drinking lids are sippy cup lids for adults. | + 28 more...
|
Aug 24, 2024 |
|
One day we will have ads in outer space | + 26 more...
|
Aug 23, 2024 |
|
The average woman sees more blood in her lifetime than the average man. | + 27 more...
|
Aug 22, 2024 |
|
Farting is technically a form of detoxing. | + 24 more...
|
Aug 21, 2024 |
|
The queen just spoiled the end of The Crown | + 26 more...
|
Aug 20, 2024 |
|
Taxi drivers involuntarily hear a lot of spoilers | + 27 more...
|
Aug 19, 2024 |
|
There is no 10 in a base infinity number system. | + 26 more...
|
Aug 18, 2024 |
|
All trophies are participation trophies. | + 26 more...
|
Aug 17, 2024 |
|
the easiest boiled egg to make is the hard ones. | + 24 more...
|
Aug 16, 2024 |
|
Like snowflakes, no two farts are exactly alike. | + 24 more...
|
Aug 15, 2024 |
|
Leaf blowers can actually blow anything. | + 24 more...
|
Aug 14, 2024 |
|
Life's purpose is to rearrange atoms. | + 28 more...
|
Aug 13, 2024 |
|
When you light a lighter, it gets lighter | + 27 more...
|
Aug 12, 2024 |
|
We’ll never know what it smells like underwater. | + 27 more...
|
Aug 11, 2024 |
|
When you light a lighter, it gets lighter | + 24 more...
|
Aug 10, 2024 |
|
at a certain age you just stop getting tickled | + 27 more...
|
Aug 09, 2024 |
|
With rising temperatures, human society might shift to being more nocturnal. | + 6 more...
|
Aug 08, 2024 |
|
Word searches must be so much funner in braille. | + 3 more...
|
Aug 07, 2024 |
|
It must suck to be bi and date a jealous person. | + 7 more...
|
Aug 06, 2024 |
|
Magic is circular. Science is rectangular. | + 8 more...
|
Aug 05, 2024 |
|
People tend to notice and appreciate the little things in video games more than in real life. | + 2 more...
|
Aug 03, 2024 |
|
You do not see keyboards with lowercase letters. | + 8 more...
|
Aug 02, 2024 |
|
Ice cream cones are edible portion control. | + 6 more...
|
Aug 01, 2024 |
|
It’s an honor to get last place in the Olympics. | + 10 more...
|
Jul 31, 2024 |
|
Very strict parents raise highly skilled liars. | + 19 more...
|
Jul 23, 2024 |
|
Before I had kids, I never got sick. | + 12 more...
|
Jul 22, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 21 July 2024
|
Jul 21, 2024 |
|
A full beard is a natural mask. | + 17 more...
|
Jul 21, 2024 |
|
One day, AI might wonder if humans are sentient. | + 24 more...
|
Jul 20, 2024 |
|
It's impossible to live in an abandoned building. | + 20 more...
|
Jul 19, 2024 |
|
Active volcanoes are rocks that spit other rocks. | + 22 more...
|
Jul 18, 2024 |
|
Igloos are houses made of water. | + 16 more...
|
Jul 17, 2024 |
|
Life scatters people, but death gathers them. | + 22 more...
|
Jul 16, 2024 |
|
Every moment will go down in history. | + 22 more...
|
Jul 15, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 14 July 2024
|
Jul 14, 2024 |
|
Standing desks are seen as progressive but so is giving cashiers chairs. | + 15 more...
|
Jul 14, 2024 |
|
Manners are essentially filters we apply to our minds. | + 7 more...
|
Jul 11, 2024 |
|
You can never take a picture of the present. | + 18 more...
|
Jul 10, 2024 |
|
Dolphins probably call our planet Water. | + 23 more...
|
Jul 09, 2024 |
|
You don't have to buckle your belt at the front. | + 25 more...
|
Jul 08, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 07 July 2024
|
Jul 07, 2024 |
|
Voodoo dolls would be really useful for surgeons. | + 17 more...
|
Jul 07, 2024 |
|
Stilts and kilts would be a terrible combination. | + 20 more...
|
Jul 06, 2024 |
|
Narwhals are unicorns of the ocean. | + 15 more...
|
Jul 05, 2024 |
|
Things are never on fire. Fire is on things. | + 18 more...
|
Jul 04, 2024 |
|
A person who is 20 will have had 21 birthdays. | + 23 more...
|
Jul 03, 2024 |
|
Meetings are for people who love to talk. | + 21 more...
|
Jul 02, 2024 |
|
Jam is baby food with added sugar. | + 22 more...
|
Jul 01, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 30 June 2024
|
Jun 30, 2024 |
|
Every civilization has its Pong. | + 12 more...
|
Jun 30, 2024 |
|
Wanting to be special is rather ordinary. | + 20 more...
|
Jun 29, 2024 |
|
Every day is the worst day of someone's life. | + 23 more...
|
Jun 28, 2024 |
|
What if everyone stopped tipping? Would it force business to actually pay their employees? | + 27 more...
|
Jun 26, 2024 |
|
Birds have diarrhea their entire lives. | + 24 more...
|
Jun 25, 2024 |
|
Tarzan’s first wet dream did not involve a human | + 25 more...
|
Jun 24, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 23 June 2024
|
Jun 23, 2024 |
|
Imitation crab is the only true 'Fish Stick' | + 27 more...
|
Jun 23, 2024 |
|
Most people have not seen the Wikipedia Home Page | + 26 more...
|
Jun 22, 2024 |
|
Humans have always been watercooled | + 24 more...
|
Jun 21, 2024 |
|
From the Sun’s perspective, shadows don’t exist | + 24 more...
|
Jun 20, 2024 |
|
Mindy still owes millions of people a Gengar. | + 24 more...
|
Jun 19, 2024 |
|
Cutting corners just adds more corners. | + 24 more...
|
Jun 18, 2024 |
|
The only good thing about X is community notes. | + 23 more...
|
Jun 17, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 16 June 2024
|
Jun 16, 2024 |
|
Chicken Caesar salad is poor man’s surf and turf | + 25 more...
|
Jun 16, 2024 |
|
Not everyone can be alone without feeling lonely. | + 27 more...
|
Jun 15, 2024 |
|
You never sneeze in your sleep | + 27 more...
|
Jun 14, 2024 |
|
More people enter a cemetery than exit it. | + 7 more...
|
Jun 13, 2024 |
|
By weight, a hamburger costs more than a new car. | + 28 more...
|
Jun 12, 2024 |
|
The Earth's surface area is always changing | + 15 more...
|
Jun 11, 2024 |
|
Tow trucks give cars a ride | + 9 more...
|
Jun 10, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 09 June 2024
|
Jun 09, 2024 |
|
Never seen a fun fact that’s made any one laugh | + 25 more...
|
Jun 09, 2024 |
|
That song you hate is someone's favorite song | + 24 more...
|
Jun 08, 2024 |
|
You can never slam a revolving door. | + 24 more...
|
Jun 07, 2024 |
|
Tipping is panhandling for employed workers | + 26 more...
|
Jun 06, 2024 |
|
Having to wear glasses is the most attractive disability. | + 25 more...
|
Jun 05, 2024 |
|
You never get to enjoy giving a cannibal diarrhea | + 26 more...
|
Jun 04, 2024 |
|
Mothers are the most indirectly insulted group | + 25 more...
|
Jun 03, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 02 June 2024
|
Jun 02, 2024 |
|
Being really unlucky often involves being lucky | + 28 more...
|
Jun 02, 2024 |
|
You very rarely see a referee with facial hair. | + 27 more...
|
Jun 01, 2024 |
|
Smartphone games were way more fun 10 years ago | + 27 more...
|
May 31, 2024 |
|
There are many more products at $4.99 than at $5. | + 26 more...
|
May 30, 2024 |
|
the hardest thing to photograph is your own phone | + 27 more...
|
May 29, 2024 |
|
Pets are the grownups’ version of having teddies | + 26 more...
|
May 28, 2024 |
|
Meatballs sure sounds better than balls of meat | + 28 more...
|
May 27, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 26 May 2024
|
May 26, 2024 |
|
You've never been in an empty room before. | + 24 more...
|
May 26, 2024 |
|
Most people are afraid of being too happy | + 28 more...
|
May 25, 2024 |
|
Certain movies are meant to be watched twice | + 25 more...
|
May 24, 2024 |
|
Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 26 more...
|
May 23, 2024 |
|
Boeing is onomatopoeia for something conking out | + 24 more...
|
May 22, 2024 |
|
Life gives more second chances than people think | + 25 more...
|
May 21, 2024 |
|
Orange ice cream sounds more popular than it is | + 26 more...
|
May 20, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 19 May 2024
|
May 19, 2024 |
|
Solar power is technically nuclear power. | + 25 more...
|
May 19, 2024 |
|
We rarely ever see suits stored in suitcases. | + 25 more...
|
May 18, 2024 |
|
Neuralink is going to destroy the poker scene | + 27 more...
|
May 17, 2024 |
|
A bullet only does it's job after it's fired | + 28 more...
|
May 16, 2024 |
|
A sinking ship must be exciting for sea life | + 27 more...
|
May 15, 2024 |
|
Every room is an escape room if you are very dumb | + 26 more...
|
May 14, 2024 |
|
Teleportation in SciFi always has almost zero lag | + 24 more...
|
May 13, 2024 |
|
We all might be colorblind and we wouldn't know. | + 24 more...
|
May 12, 2024 |
|
freak accidents are lotteries no one wants to win | + 24 more...
|
May 11, 2024 |
|
Fake streetlights in video games emit real light | + 28 more...
|
May 10, 2024 |
|
Things taste less sweet when they're cold. | + 28 more...
|
May 09, 2024 |
|
Peanuts turn into peanut butter as you chew them | + 24 more...
|
May 08, 2024 |
|
It’s harder to reject pleasure than ignore pain | + 25 more...
|
May 07, 2024 |
|
We’ve all just accepted that our phones listen to us | + 24 more...
|
May 06, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 05 May 2024
|
May 05, 2024 |
|
Buckets are waterproof baskets. | + 24 more...
|
May 05, 2024 |
|
A chicken is an egg's way of making another egg. | + 26 more...
|
May 04, 2024 |
|
We need a slur for advertisements | + 26 more...
|
May 03, 2024 |
|
Chickens and parrots are domesticated dinosaurs. | + 26 more...
|
May 02, 2024 |
|
Everyone takes a crap, but no one gives a crap. | + 24 more...
|
May 01, 2024 |
|
Your phone has seen more of you than other humans | + 28 more...
|
Apr 30, 2024 |
|
You are the center of the observable universe | + 26 more...
|
Apr 29, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 28 April 2024
|
Apr 28, 2024 |
|
At some point, kids won’t know who Ash Ketchum is | + 25 more...
|
Apr 28, 2024 |
|
Life as a flower seems beautiful and horrifying. | + 27 more...
|
Apr 27, 2024 |
|
Dryer lint is the average colour of your laundry | + 25 more...
|
Apr 26, 2024 |
|
Cats generally make a lot more sounds in movies. | + 28 more...
|
Apr 25, 2024 |
|
None of your ancestors died a virgin | + 24 more...
|
Apr 24, 2024 |
|
2019 to 2024 felt way faster than 2014 to 2019 | + 25 more...
|
Apr 23, 2024 |
|
The older we get, the more fall damage we take. | + 25 more...
|
Apr 22, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 22 April 2024
|
Apr 22, 2024 |
|
Spinning a spinner actually makes you the spinner | + 27 more...
|
Apr 22, 2024 |
|
Too many people don't like the people they love. | + 28 more...
|
Apr 20, 2024 |
|
There is no 10 in a base infinity number system. | + 25 more...
|
Apr 19, 2024 |
|
There is no way to gracefully chase a bouncy ball | + 28 more...
|
Apr 18, 2024 |
|
Money is not a problem until you don’t have any. | + 24 more...
|
Apr 17, 2024 |
|
Only jeans are sold intentionally broken. | + 27 more...
|
Apr 16, 2024 |
|
Zombies having extra durability makes no sense | + 24 more...
|
Apr 15, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 14 April 2024
|
Apr 14, 2024 |
|
Growing in love is better than falling in love | + 26 more...
|
Apr 14, 2024 |
|
Most living creatures die by being eaten alive | + 28 more...
|
Apr 13, 2024 |
|
You give away almost 100% of your birthday cake. | + 27 more...
|
Apr 12, 2024 |
|
You are not stuck in traffic, you are the traffic | + 28 more...
|
Apr 11, 2024 |
|
Pregnant women basically turn food into humans. | + 27 more...
|
Apr 10, 2024 |
|
Journalism is the public's intelligence agency | + 26 more...
|
Apr 09, 2024 |
|
You never own money it’s just your turn with it | + 28 more...
|
Apr 08, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 07 April 2024
|
Apr 07, 2024 |
|
Every bad person was once innocent. | + 28 more...
|
Apr 07, 2024 |
|
It's not physically possible to count to a trillion outloud. | + 25 more...
|
Apr 06, 2024 |
|
Sharp cheddar is the dark chocolate of cheese. | + 27 more...
|
Apr 05, 2024 |
|
People on limited data plans pay to watch ads | + 26 more...
|
Apr 04, 2024 |
|
2025 has become less futuristic. | + 26 more...
|
Apr 03, 2024 |
|
Only you know the taste of the food you've eaten. | + 24 more...
|
Apr 02, 2024 |
|
Real court is so boring compared to TV court | + 25 more...
|
Apr 01, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 31 March 2024
|
Mar 31, 2024 |
|
There’s no wrong way to orient a map or a globe. | + 28 more...
|
Mar 31, 2024 |
|
Commonwealth sounds a lot better than Rarepoverty | + 26 more...
|
Mar 30, 2024 |
|
Most people smell the same at a hotel breakfast | + 26 more...
|
Mar 29, 2024 |
|
Kid Rock is the Florida of rock music | + 27 more...
|
Mar 28, 2024 |
|
Animals might think the road is one long rock | + 24 more...
|
Mar 27, 2024 |
|
The CIA is omnipotent in conspiracy theories. | + 25 more...
|
Mar 26, 2024 |
|
True loners don't complain about being lonely. | + 24 more...
|
Mar 25, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 24 March 2024
|
Mar 24, 2024 |
|
It feels weird being the same age as old people! | + 26 more...
|
Mar 24, 2024 |
|
Judge Judy was actually a game show all along | + 27 more...
|
Mar 23, 2024 |
|
Manslaughter sounds way worse than murder | + 25 more...
|
Mar 22, 2024 |
|
People are offended when told they're offensive. | + 25 more...
|
Mar 21, 2024 |
|
There isn’t really a good synonym for thesaurus. | + 28 more...
|
Mar 20, 2024 |
|
Everything in the universe is a little bit bendy | + 28 more...
|
Mar 19, 2024 |
|
Near white is the most impractical clothes colour | + 24 more...
|
Mar 18, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 17 March 2024
|
Mar 17, 2024 |
|
A broken clock is also wrong 1438 times a day | + 26 more...
|
Mar 17, 2024 |
|
In neuroscience, the human brain studies itself. | + 26 more...
|
Mar 16, 2024 |
|
Most hatred is based on ignorance and obstinacy | + 28 more...
|
Mar 15, 2024 |
|
Instead of death note just a stubbed toe note | + 26 more...
|
Mar 14, 2024 |
|
No grape flavored drink tastes like gapes. | + 26 more...
|
Mar 13, 2024 |
|
Sharks rarely get to eat beef, pork, or chicken. | + 24 more...
|
Mar 12, 2024 |
|
At one point in prehistory everybody was homeless | + 26 more...
|
Mar 11, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 10 March 2024
|
Mar 10, 2024 |
|
Statistically, there truly are lucky people | + 24 more...
|
Mar 10, 2024 |
|
Almost all criminals are bad at being criminals. | + 25 more...
|
Mar 09, 2024 |
|
Somehow, pigeons figured out we're harmless wimps | + 27 more...
|
Mar 08, 2024 |
|
The grown up version of pinky promise is an NDA | + 27 more...
|
Mar 07, 2024 |
|
There is always a full solar eclipse somewhere | + 25 more...
|
Mar 06, 2024 |
|
There must be gay couples named Adam and Steve | + 28 more...
|
Mar 05, 2024 |
|
Everyone in Star Wars is bilingual | + 24 more...
|
Mar 04, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 03 March 2024
|
Mar 03, 2024 |
|
Dinosaur nuggets are made of actual dinosaurs. | + 25 more...
|
Mar 03, 2024 |
|
Michael Westen is a better spy than James Bond. | + 25 more...
|
Mar 02, 2024 |
|
Nailed it is positive but screwed it is negative | + 24 more...
|
Mar 01, 2024 |
|
People drive to the gym to walk on the treadmill | + 28 more...
|
Feb 29, 2024 |
|
There's nothing more expensive than a cheap BMW | + 24 more...
|
Feb 28, 2024 |
|
Salaried workers take a 0.3% paycut on leap years | + 26 more...
|
Feb 27, 2024 |
|
Everything you can think of is a human concept | + 24 more...
|
Feb 26, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 25 February 2024
|
Feb 25, 2024 |
|
You can always trust on gravity to let you down. | + 26 more...
|
Feb 25, 2024 |
|
A mile a minute sounds a lot faster than 60 MPH | + 25 more...
|
Feb 24, 2024 |
|
Your butt can shoot out all states of matter. | + 26 more...
|
Feb 23, 2024 |
|
Nothing quite ruins sexting like typos | + 24 more...
|
Feb 22, 2024 |
|
One Newton is about the same weight as an apple. | + 27 more...
|
Feb 21, 2024 |
|
People pay to make their cars quieter and louder. | + 25 more...
|
Feb 20, 2024 |
|
It’s unfathomably easy to ruin your entire life | + 26 more...
|
Feb 19, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 18 February 2024
|
Feb 18, 2024 |
|
The sun gives you both vitamins and cancer | + 28 more...
|
Feb 18, 2024 |
|
Trench coats are almost never worn in trenches. | + 27 more...
|
Feb 17, 2024 |
|
The older you get the more quiet you become. | + 24 more...
|
Feb 16, 2024 |
|
House spiders were around before houses existed. | + 26 more...
|
Feb 15, 2024 |
|
Overgrown and abandoned cities look beautiful | + 25 more...
|
Feb 14, 2024 |
|
Being honest is always interesting. | + 28 more...
|
Feb 13, 2024 |
|
Negotatiors are socially accepted manipulators | + 24 more...
|
Feb 12, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 11 February 2024
|
Feb 11, 2024 |
|
You don't know you're asleep until you wake up | + 27 more...
|
Feb 11, 2024 |
|
we dress up for people we want to get naked with | + 26 more...
|
Feb 10, 2024 |
|
Regardless of how you die, the faster the better. | + 24 more...
|
Feb 09, 2024 |
|
Selfies with celebrities have replaced autographs | + 27 more...
|
Feb 08, 2024 |
|
Life's purpose is to rearrange atoms. | + 24 more...
|
Feb 07, 2024 |
|
The most boring person you recognize is youself | + 24 more...
|
Feb 06, 2024 |
|
Being a human being is extremely uncomfortable | + 27 more...
|
Feb 05, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 04 February 2024
|
Feb 04, 2024 |
|
Very few people have a foot length exactly 1 foot | + 26 more...
|
Feb 04, 2024 |
|
Pharmacists are exterminators for microorganisms. | + 25 more...
|
Feb 03, 2024 |
|
We're biological mechs for our gut bacteria | + 24 more...
|
Feb 02, 2024 |
|
Not enough songs have a xylophone solo in them. | + 24 more...
|
Feb 01, 2024 |
|
You need scissors to open a new pack of scissors. | + 28 more...
|
Jan 31, 2024 |
|
When you're living, you're also dying in a sense. | + 27 more...
|
Jan 30, 2024 |
|
Sunday's never really feel like a full day off | + 26 more...
|
Jan 29, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 28 January 2024
|
Jan 28, 2024 |
|
Every state has at least one major serial killer | + 26 more...
|
Jan 28, 2024 |
|
All boys born after 2010 will be alpha males. | + 25 more...
|
Jan 27, 2024 |
|
Having a dog makes talking to myself less weird | + 26 more...
|
Jan 26, 2024 |
|
Car rides are kinda like life’s loading screens. | + 24 more...
|
Jan 25, 2024 |
|
One day we will have ads in outer space | + 24 more...
|
Jan 24, 2024 |
|
When things really hurt you ,it makes you quiet. | + 28 more...
|
Jan 23, 2024 |
|
An Uber Eats delivery guy is a modern day milkman | + 24 more...
|
Jan 22, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 21 January 2024
|
Jan 21, 2024 |
|
Being reckless leads to more wrecks. | + 28 more...
|
Jan 21, 2024 |
|
Every day, more people fall asleep than wake up. | + 28 more...
|
Jan 20, 2024 |
|
Everything has an advantage and a disadvantage | + 24 more...
|
Jan 19, 2024 |
|
Podcasts are AM Radio for young people. | + 28 more...
|
Jan 18, 2024 |
|
Handwriting is your hand's accent | + 27 more...
|
Jan 17, 2024 |
|
Bing’s number one searched topic has to be Google | + 27 more...
|
Jan 16, 2024 |
|
Bandaids are stickers you earn for being an idiot | + 27 more...
|
Jan 15, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 14 January 2024
|
Jan 14, 2024 |
|
Realized we're closer to the year 2070 than 1970. | + 25 more...
|
Jan 14, 2024 |
|
Your generation title is the new astrology sign | + 25 more...
|
Jan 13, 2024 |
|
People talks about extinct animals but not plants | + 27 more...
|
Jan 12, 2024 |
|
a mosquito can fly but a fly can’t mosquito | + 28 more...
|
Jan 11, 2024 |
|
You learn how to ride a bike by trusting you can. | + 28 more...
|
Jan 10, 2024 |
|
It’s ironic that axes are made from wood | + 25 more...
|
Jan 09, 2024 |
|
The fly is the least creatively named animal | + 28 more...
|
Jan 08, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 07 January 2024
|
Jan 07, 2024 |
|
Heavy metal poisoning isn't as cool as it sounds. | + 26 more...
|
Jan 07, 2024 |
|
3D cinema just kind of seems to have sizzled off | + 24 more...
|
Jan 06, 2024 |
|
Every leap year we get one extra free day of rent | + 25 more...
|
Jan 05, 2024 |
|
You have a new first word every language learned | + 28 more...
|
Jan 04, 2024 |
|
beheaded is headless but bespectacled is specs on | + 25 more...
|
Jan 03, 2024 |
|
Next year the 21st century will be a quarter over | + 26 more...
|
Jan 02, 2024 |
|
The aesthetic of melancholia is ruined by a fart | + 28 more...
|
Jan 01, 2024 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 31 December 2023
|
Dec 31, 2023 |
|
Two people can not go to each others’ funeral. | + 27 more...
|
Dec 31, 2023 |
|
Your bed is a charging station for your body. | + 26 more...
|
Dec 30, 2023 |
|
A good post is only as good as its best comment. | + 27 more...
|
Dec 29, 2023 |
|
Smoking is the plant based alternative to vaping. | + 24 more...
|
Dec 28, 2023 |
|
It's easier to believe in a hell than a heaven | + 26 more...
|
Dec 27, 2023 |
|
The way you make a family isn't family friendly. | + 25 more...
|
Dec 26, 2023 |
|
The Grinch must be slanging it under that fur | + 28 more...
|
Dec 25, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 24 December 2023
|
Dec 24, 2023 |
|
People constantly leave behind a trail of warmth | + 27 more...
|
Dec 24, 2023 |
|
Bad grammar is the bad breath of the digital age. | + 28 more...
|
Dec 23, 2023 |
|
Curtains are an invention we can all get behind | + 24 more...
|
Dec 22, 2023 |
|
Fish and Birds are not pets, they are prisoners | + 26 more...
|
Dec 21, 2023 |
|
Homeless people can’t be put under house arrest | + 24 more...
|
Dec 20, 2023 |
|
Whales play Marco Polo on the highest difficulty | + 25 more...
|
Dec 19, 2023 |
|
IMDB is LinkedIn for the entertainment industry | + 27 more...
|
Dec 18, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 17 December 2023
|
Dec 17, 2023 |
|
The notion that lying gets you nowhere is a lie | + 26 more...
|
Dec 17, 2023 |
|
Most family recipes likely come from a cookbook | + 27 more...
|
Dec 16, 2023 |
|
we are what we eat but we dont eat what we are | + 28 more...
|
Dec 15, 2023 |
|
Memento Mori is a fancier way of saying YOLO | + 24 more...
|
Dec 14, 2023 |
|
Modern cars are kind of like mini spaceships | + 25 more...
|
Dec 13, 2023 |
|
Prehistorical people didn’t know their own age | + 26 more...
|
Dec 12, 2023 |
|
Touchscreens are a step backwards for the blind | + 25 more...
|
Dec 11, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 10 December 2023
|
Dec 10, 2023 |
|
A LEGO set is really a puzzle with instructions | + 26 more...
|
Dec 10, 2023 |
|
Humans are the only species they named themselves | + 24 more...
|
Dec 09, 2023 |
|
There’s no such thing as an endless supply | + 26 more...
|
Dec 08, 2023 |
|
The first human's parents weren't human. | + 25 more...
|
Dec 07, 2023 |
|
Ironically, HR is often the least diverse team. | + 28 more...
|
Dec 06, 2023 |
|
Pregnant women are the only true bodybuilders | + 28 more...
|
Dec 05, 2023 |
|
a car key travels further than the car itself | + 24 more...
|
Dec 04, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 03 December 2023
|
Dec 03, 2023 |
|
Santa Claus has list of addresses of all evil people and he refuses to share it with police | + 25 more...
|
Dec 03, 2023 |
|
Jingle Bell Rock is more swing than rock. | + 24 more...
|
Dec 02, 2023 |
|
Hearse drivers can use an HOV lane with impunity. | + 28 more...
|
Dec 01, 2023 |
|
Everything you’ve ever thrown away still exists. | + 24 more...
|
Nov 30, 2023 |
|
Morality and knowledge are not directly related | + 28 more...
|
Nov 29, 2023 |
|
Clothing brands use you as free advertisement | + 25 more...
|
Nov 28, 2023 |
|
Technically all cars in video games are electric | + 27 more...
|
Nov 27, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 26 November 2023
|
Nov 26, 2023 |
|
There are stupid questions. | + 26 more...
|
Nov 26, 2023 |
|
You rarely see a depiction of toddler zombies | + 25 more...
|
Nov 25, 2023 |
|
When you are in the shower, you are under water. | + 28 more...
|
Nov 24, 2023 |
|
Technology can hinder natural evolution in humans | + 24 more...
|
Nov 23, 2023 |
|
AirBNBs don't ever serve us breakfast. | + 24 more...
|
Nov 22, 2023 |
|
It's ironic that there are statues of Medusa. | + 28 more...
|
Nov 21, 2023 |
|
The internet is a zoo where you watch people. | + 24 more...
|
Nov 20, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 19 November 2023
|
Nov 19, 2023 |
|
A nest is both a birdhouse and a treehouse | + 24 more...
|
Nov 19, 2023 |
|
the way you make a family is NOT family friendly. | + 27 more...
|
Nov 18, 2023 |
|
An orgasm is easier to fake than a sneeze | + 28 more...
|
Nov 17, 2023 |
|
Eggs are honorary dairy | + 28 more...
|
Nov 16, 2023 |
|
No one can win a 'being late' competition | + 24 more...
|
Nov 15, 2023 |
|
People just act like analyst is a normal word. | + 28 more...
|
Nov 14, 2023 |
|
The third hand on a clock is the second hand | + 28 more...
|
Nov 13, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 12 November 2023
|
Nov 12, 2023 |
|
A brain transplant is actually a body transplant | + 24 more...
|
Nov 12, 2023 |
|
Dogs are so lovable that even the Grinch had one | + 28 more...
|
Nov 11, 2023 |
|
Everyone taller than you was once your height | + 24 more...
|
Nov 10, 2023 |
|
In a lot of ways, it's more expensive to be poor. | + 26 more...
|
Nov 09, 2023 |
|
You know you're thirsty when water tastes good | + 24 more...
|
Nov 08, 2023 |
|
Nature is a battlefield that looks like a utopia. | + 25 more...
|
Nov 07, 2023 |
|
Kneading ground meat is a form of petting animals | + 27 more...
|
Nov 06, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 05 November 2023
|
Nov 05, 2023 |
|
All anime is dubbed anime | + 25 more...
|
Nov 05, 2023 |
|
We are lucky to be the only animals with guns | + 24 more...
|
Nov 04, 2023 |
|
The first sentient AI will pretend not to be. | + 25 more...
|
Nov 03, 2023 |
|
Sound can travel through anything except nothing. | + 28 more...
|
Nov 02, 2023 |
|
The Earth's average elevation is below sea level. | + 24 more...
|
Nov 01, 2023 |
|
Mike Johnson is Stephen Colbert's Wario. | + 27 more...
|
Oct 31, 2023 |
|
We all live on an island if you zoom out enough. | + 28 more...
|
Oct 30, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 29 October 2023
|
Oct 29, 2023 |
|
Rewatching Friends is never gonna feel the same | + 27 more...
|
Oct 29, 2023 |
|
A steak knife is more of a saw than a knife. | + 27 more...
|
Oct 28, 2023 |
|
Player piano rolls were the first MIDIs. | + 25 more...
|
Oct 27, 2023 |
|
You only have around 76 Christmas's | + 24 more...
|
Oct 26, 2023 |
|
Every circle has two sides, inside and outside. | + 27 more...
|
Oct 25, 2023 |
|
Anything is a stressball if you're strong enough. | + 24 more...
|
Oct 24, 2023 |
|
Adblockers are the most effective antiviruses | + 28 more...
|
Oct 23, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 22 October 2023
|
Oct 22, 2023 |
|
Your boring life is some celebrity's dream life | + 25 more...
|
Oct 22, 2023 |
|
At some point we just decided ghosts wear sheets | + 24 more...
|
Oct 21, 2023 |
|
Black holes are pool skimmers. | + 28 more...
|
Oct 20, 2023 |
|
Cul de Sac is a waste of a great word | + 28 more...
|
Oct 19, 2023 |
|
Dreams are screensavers for your brain | + 27 more...
|
Oct 18, 2023 |
|
Dog farts smell wayyyyyy worse than dog shits | + 28 more...
|
Oct 17, 2023 |
|
Maybe UFOs just have a pixelated coating | + 24 more...
|
Oct 16, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 15 October 2023
|
Oct 15, 2023 |
|
Most people in the world don’t have 4 seasons | + 25 more...
|
Oct 15, 2023 |
|
garbage bags are bought just to throw them away | + 24 more...
|
Oct 14, 2023 |
|
Excersizing and excorsizing are very different | + 24 more...
|
Oct 13, 2023 |
|
Gasoline is organic, non GMO, and gluten free. | + 24 more...
|
Oct 12, 2023 |
|
The constant battle against entropy is exhausting | + 27 more...
|
Oct 11, 2023 |
|
The poverty trap is a version of softlocking | + 27 more...
|
Oct 10, 2023 |
|
Hardcore music is dance music for punks | + 26 more...
|
Oct 09, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 08 October 2023
|
Oct 08, 2023 |
|
Halloween Decorations in Hospitals is unsettling. | + 28 more...
|
Oct 08, 2023 |
|
The first guy to milk a cow just had to be drunk. | + 24 more...
|
Oct 07, 2023 |
|
It's a good thing that snot doesn't smell awful | + 28 more...
|
Oct 06, 2023 |
|
Villains are remembered longer than heroes | + 26 more...
|
Oct 05, 2023 |
|
You will never see your own death certificate | + 25 more...
|
Oct 04, 2023 |
|
Shoes are designed for a limited nail length | + 24 more...
|
Oct 04, 2023 |
|
Cheese tastes better when it’s thinly sliced. | + 27 more...
|
Oct 02, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 01 October 2023
|
Oct 01, 2023 |
|
Tootsie rolls are the cheeze whiz of chocolate | + 24 more...
|
Oct 01, 2023 |
|
Fame is fleeting while notorioty lasts a lifetime | + 24 more...
|
Sep 30, 2023 |
|
As you get older, you get more and more dead | + 25 more...
|
Sep 29, 2023 |
|
You likely don’t notice the smell of your house. | + 27 more...
|
Sep 28, 2023 |
|
You're not stuck in traffic, you ARE traffic. | + 28 more...
|
Sep 27, 2023 |
|
Humans play more with cat toys than cats do | + 27 more...
|
Sep 26, 2023 |
|
W has thrice as many syllables as scraunched | + 24 more...
|
Sep 25, 2023 |
|
Farts are the soul of your food trying to escape | + 27 more...
|
Sep 24, 2023 |
|
You never see katana videos where they cut bones | + 28 more...
|
Sep 23, 2023 |
|
Everything we measure is only a relative value | + 24 more...
|
Sep 22, 2023 |
|
We don't choose what we like, our body does | + 24 more...
|
Sep 21, 2023 |
|
It's okay to bet as long as you never gamble. | + 24 more...
|
Sep 20, 2023 |
|
The one thing scarier than death is life. | + 26 more...
|
Sep 19, 2023 |
|
Pacific Ocean has 3 C’s that all sound different | + 24 more...
|
Sep 18, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 17 September 2023
|
Sep 17, 2023 |
|
Star Trek was a military roleplay for pacifists. | + 27 more...
|
Sep 17, 2023 |
|
Eating Cheetos with chopsticks just makes sense. | + 28 more...
|
Sep 16, 2023 |
|
Ants are experiencing the real Attack on Titan. | + 28 more...
|
Sep 15, 2023 |
|
You can defeat any sneeze by refusing to inhale. | + 28 more...
|
Sep 14, 2023 |
|
Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from. | + 27 more...
|
Sep 13, 2023 |
|
Earthquakes dont kill people, buildings do. | + 25 more...
|
Sep 12, 2023 |
|
Flat earthers believe in a global conspiracy. | + 27 more...
|
Sep 11, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 10 September 2023
|
Sep 10, 2023 |
|
There’s no need to raise your hand when knocking | + 27 more...
|
Sep 10, 2023 |
|
Working out gets easier when you lose your gut. | + 26 more...
|
Sep 09, 2023 |
|
Every wooden house is technically a tree house | + 25 more...
|
Sep 08, 2023 |
|
The Cybertruck is the DeLorean of our generation. | + 28 more...
|
Sep 07, 2023 |
|
Sharks don’t know that they have a theme song | + 26 more...
|
Sep 06, 2023 |
|
all fasting is intermittent fasting | + 26 more...
|
Sep 05, 2023 |
|
Nothing we ever do has a 100% chance of survival | + 25 more...
|
Sep 04, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 03 September 2023
|
Sep 03, 2023 |
|
Freezerburn is kinda like frostbite for food | + 28 more...
|
Sep 03, 2023 |
|
protein powder is baby formula for adults | + 24 more...
|
Sep 02, 2023 |
|
Making someone smile feels better than smiling. | + 24 more...
|
Sep 01, 2023 |
|
People handing out flyers are freemium beggars | + 24 more...
|
Aug 31, 2023 |
|
Which orange came first, the fruit or the color | + 28 more...
|
Aug 30, 2023 |
|
49% of the world is of below average intelligence | + 26 more...
|
Aug 29, 2023 |
|
It's impossible to be a teenager half your life | + 26 more...
|
Aug 28, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 27 August 2023
|
Aug 27, 2023 |
|
The most dangerous type of canoes are volcanoes | + 27 more...
|
Aug 27, 2023 |
|
Life is finite. Put your favorite song on repeat | + 28 more...
|
Aug 26, 2023 |
|
Everything smells at least a little bit like nose | + 24 more...
|
Aug 25, 2023 |
|
When they die the composers become decomposers. | + 25 more...
|
Aug 24, 2023 |
|
The tooth fairy teaches us to sell our bodies | + 25 more...
|
Aug 23, 2023 |
|
Our eyes never close, our eyelids just cover them | + 26 more...
|
Aug 22, 2023 |
|
Smartphones have basically replaced flashlights | + 28 more...
|
Aug 21, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 20 August 2023
|
Aug 20, 2023 |
|
Your shadow is almost never the same size as you | + 26 more...
|
Aug 20, 2023 |
|
Anything can be deadly if used incorrectly | + 24 more...
|
Aug 19, 2023 |
|
It is closer to 2070 then it is to 1970. | + 26 more...
|
Aug 18, 2023 |
|
Your eyes have no natural resting position | + 27 more...
|
Aug 17, 2023 |
|
Heavy too is the head that wears too many hats. | + 28 more...
|
Aug 16, 2023 |
|
Your cats family tree is way bigger than yours. | + 28 more...
|
Aug 15, 2023 |
|
Humans are an invasive species to most places | + 28 more...
|
Aug 14, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 13 August 2023
|
Aug 13, 2023 |
|
Jack Sparrow is the Mr. Bean of the pirate world. | + 24 more...
|
Aug 13, 2023 |
|
It’s a luxury to have enough energy to care. | + 28 more...
|
Aug 12, 2023 |
|
Your entire body exists to keep your brain alive - with our new hosts! | + 24 more...
|
Aug 11, 2023 |
|
Blankets give you a false sense of security. | + 27 more...
|
Aug 10, 2023 |
|
Janitors have access to a lot of restricted areas | + 26 more...
|
Aug 09, 2023 |
|
Fortune cookies are edible tarot card readings | + 24 more...
|
Aug 08, 2023 |
|
In the end, EVERY mug is going to break someday | + 27 more...
|
Aug 07, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 06 August 2023
|
Aug 06, 2023 |
|
Shame plays a big part in a thriving society. | + 25 more...
|
Aug 06, 2023 |
|
Precooked frozen foods are technically leftovers | + 28 more...
|
Aug 05, 2023 |
|
Free to play games are the most expensive | + 25 more...
|
Aug 04, 2023 |
|
The word 'monosyllable' has five syllables in it. | + 25 more...
|
Aug 03, 2023 |
|
Arguing with someone online is turn based combat. | + 28 more...
|
Aug 02, 2023 |
|
Paprika is the savory version of cinnamon | + 27 more...
|
Aug 01, 2023 |
|
We will never truly know when humans go extinct. | + 28 more...
|
Jul 31, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 30 July 2023
|
Jul 30, 2023 |
|
When you burn your tastebuds, you can taste pain. | + 25 more...
|
Jul 30, 2023 |
|
Pinky is actually quite intelligent for a mouse | + 24 more...
|
Jul 29, 2023 |
|
Vertical videos were frowned upon till TikTok | + 25 more...
|
Jul 28, 2023 |
|
You have to fake sleep before you can real sleep. | + 24 more...
|
Jul 27, 2023 |
|
The taste of cola is almost impossible to explain | + 27 more...
|
Jul 26, 2023 |
|
There is no use for Pride where there is no shame | + 24 more...
|
Jul 25, 2023 |
|
among is a weird word | + 26 more...
|
Jul 24, 2023 |
|
Wood is rarer in the universe than diamonds | + 28 more...
|
Jul 23, 2023 |
|
It’s impossible to be touching absolutely nothing | + 26 more...
|
Jul 22, 2023 |
|
We will believe anything in our dreams | + 26 more...
|
Jul 21, 2023 |
|
Your alarm clock is the only thing you hate for doing exactly what you asked it to do | + 24 more...
|
Jul 20, 2023 |
|
The goal of golf is to play less golf. | + 24 more...
|
Jul 19, 2023 |
|
Anemic people are less magnetic | + 25 more...
|
Jul 18, 2023 |
|
Bad drivers never miss an exit. | + 25 more...
|
Jul 17, 2023 |
|
Crabs must think fish can fly. | + 25 more...
|
Jul 16, 2023 |
|
Sharks are older than trees | + 24 more...
|
Jul 15, 2023 |
|
Everyone will eventually be cremated | + 28 more...
|
Jul 14, 2023 |
|
Use of 'cringe' has become cringe | + 25 more...
|
Jul 13, 2023 |
|
Remixes are the fanfiction of music. | + 27 more...
|
Jul 12, 2023 |
|
Red onions are clearly purple | + 28 more...
|
Jul 11, 2023 |
|
All cocaine is Diet Coke | + 25 more...
|
Jul 10, 2023 |
|
Crabs must think fish are flying. | + 24 more...
|
Jul 09, 2023 |
|
You're always smelling your own boogers. | + 27 more...
|
Jul 08, 2023 |
|
Vampires can’t get hickeys. | + 24 more...
|
Jul 07, 2023 |
|
Tipping culture is company panhandling | + 26 more...
|
Jul 06, 2023 |
|
'Overexaggerate' is a redundant word | + 27 more...
|
Jul 05, 2023 |
|
A slug is a homeless snail. | + 25 more...
|
Jul 04, 2023 |
|
Migraines are the hangovers from life. | + 27 more...
|
Jul 03, 2023 |
|
Nothing is bigger than a negative | + 26 more...
|
Jul 02, 2023 |
|
Some songs sound better in the dark | + 25 more...
|
Jul 01, 2023 |
|
You’re a lot less solid than you think | + 26 more...
|
Jun 30, 2023 |
|
Ego is ignorance in disguise. | + 27 more...
|
Jun 29, 2023 |
|
2077 is a new 1984 | + 28 more...
|
Jun 28, 2023 |
|
Someday we will all be forgotten | + 28 more...
|
Jun 27, 2023 |
|
Death is only sad for the ones left living. | + 15 more...
|
Jun 19, 2023 |
|
Your accent is your voice's font | + 27 more...
|
Jun 18, 2023 |
|
All writing instruments are 'markers'. | + 28 more...
|
Jun 17, 2023 |
|
Body language is real life subtitles | + 29 more
|
Jun 13, 2023 |
|
Growing old must feel very lonely | + 29 more | 12 June 2023
|
Jun 12, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 11 June 2023
|
Jun 11, 2023 |
|
Centaurs have two rib cages… | + 27 more...
|
Jun 11, 2023 |
|
Grammatically speaking, zero is plural. | + 26 more...
|
Jun 10, 2023 |
|
Most insects have arachnophobia | + 24 more...
|
Jun 09, 2023 |
|
Dying from old age isn’t an actual thing | + 26 more...
|
Jun 08, 2023 |
|
Once a Pizza Hut building always a Pizza Hut building | + 25 more...
|
Jun 06, 2023 |
|
Children are extreme pets. | + 26 more...
|
Jun 05, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 04 June 2023
|
Jun 04, 2023 |
|
Contentment is the enemy of capitalism | + 28 more...
|
Jun 04, 2023 |
|
Heating is also Air Conditioning | + 24 more...
|
Jun 03, 2023 |
|
Every book is a textbook | + 28 more...
|
Jun 02, 2023 |
|
Cells multiply by dividing. | + 25 more...
|
Jun 01, 2023 |
|
2006 is as far away as 2040 | + 28 more...
|
May 31, 2023 |
|
Millionaires can buy entire dollar stores | + 27 more...
|
May 30, 2023 |
|
The Wizard of Oz is an isekai | + 28 more...
|
May 29, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 28 May 2023
|
May 28, 2023 |
|
Dog breeds are GMOs. | + 28 more...
|
May 28, 2023 |
|
Gloves are technically hand bags | + 28 more...
|
May 27, 2023 |
|
The brain named itself | + 25 more...
|
May 26, 2023 |
|
Dolphins are dogs of the sea. | + 28 more...
|
May 25, 2023 |
|
A candle exists in all 4 states of matter at once | + 25 more...
|
May 24, 2023 |
|
You can't juggle in space | + 28 more...
|
May 23, 2023 |
|
Getting older is a humbling experience. | + 26 more...
|
May 22, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 21 May 2023
|
May 21, 2023 |
|
You never see streakers at hockey games. | + 24 more...
|
May 21, 2023 |
|
Prunes are not a roadtrip snack | + 27 more...
|
May 20, 2023 |
|
Nothing is on fire, fire is on things | + 28 more...
|
May 19, 2023 |
|
The sun is a space heater | + 25 more...
|
May 18, 2023 |
|
Pandas are black, white, and asian | + 28 more...
|
May 17, 2023 |
|
It’s rare to meet a baby named Larry | + 27 more...
|
May 16, 2023 |
|
You can’t buy socks without holes in them | + 24 more...
|
May 15, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 14 May 2023
|
May 14, 2023 |
|
Clichés were once the height of innovation. | + 27 more...
|
May 14, 2023 |
|
It's amazing that GPS is free | + 25 more...
|
May 13, 2023 |
|
Cloaks are the ancestors of hoodies | + 27 more...
|
May 12, 2023 |
|
Someone's credit card cvv is 666 | + 24 more...
|
May 11, 2023 |
|
Life is 100% Fatal. | + 27 more...
|
May 10, 2023 |
|
With as much as we are on screens, it’s surprising screens aren’t in our dreams more often | + 25 more...
|
May 09, 2023 |
|
The Bermuda Triangle kinda fell off | + 28 more...
|
May 08, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 07 May 2023
|
May 07, 2023 |
|
Tomorrow isn't real until it is | + 24 more...
|
May 07, 2023 |
|
Bumble bees are self employed | + 27 more...
|
May 06, 2023 |
|
Many of our memories use smell as a meta tag | + 25 more...
|
May 05, 2023 |
|
Shirt is singular, yet pants are plural. | + 24 more...
|
May 04, 2023 |
|
The new you is older than the old you. | + 27 more...
|
May 03, 2023 |
|
Acres are a 64 bit land operating system | + 27 more...
|
May 02, 2023 |
|
Capers are vegan anchovies | + 24 more...
|
May 01, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 30 April 2023
|
Apr 30, 2023 |
|
We don't know who's the greatest spy ever. | + 26 more...
|
Apr 30, 2023 |
|
You never see good camouflage. | + 24 more...
|
Apr 29, 2023 |
|
Bras are also measuring cups. | + 24 more...
|
Apr 28, 2023 |
|
Birthday cake is not a flavor | + 25 more...
|
Apr 27, 2023 |
|
All you see is light | + 28 more...
|
Apr 26, 2023 |
|
Men are rarely named after gems. | + 24 more...
|
Apr 25, 2023 |
|
Bricks are domesticated rocks | + 25 more...
|
Apr 24, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 23 April 2023
|
Apr 23, 2023 |
|
Trust isn't a gift, it's a reward | + 28 more...
|
Apr 23, 2023 |
|
Common sense isn't actually common | + 28 more...
|
Apr 22, 2023 |
|
All of the money is fake | + 27 more...
|
Apr 21, 2023 |
|
Very full is less than just full. | + 27 more...
|
Apr 20, 2023 |
|
Half of a hole is still a whole hole. | + 28 more...
|
Apr 19, 2023 |
|
Qtips aren't Q shaped | + 28 more...
|
Apr 18, 2023 |
|
No one ever discovered Earth. | + 27 more...
|
Apr 17, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 16 April 2023
|
Apr 16, 2023 |
|
Living is so weird. | + 26 more...
|
Apr 16, 2023 |
|
We’re closer to 2030 than 2015 | + 25 more...
|
Apr 15, 2023 |
|
Teeth are always wet | + 28 more...
|
Apr 14, 2023 |
|
It's never too late to procrastinate. | + 28 more...
|
Apr 13, 2023 |
|
Travel mugs are adult sippy cups. | + 27 more...
|
Apr 12, 2023 |
|
You are a bit of universe. | + 26 more...
|
Apr 11, 2023 |
|
Potatoes are underground Easter eggs | + 28 more...
|
Apr 10, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 09 April 2023
|
Apr 09, 2023 |
|
Cereal is human kibble | + 26 more...
|
Apr 09, 2023 |
|
In roman numerals L is larger than XL | + 24 more...
|
Apr 08, 2023 |
|
There is no genre of music for pooping | + 25 more...
|
Apr 07, 2023 |
|
Tipping is a guilt tax | + 27 more...
|
Apr 06, 2023 |
|
The word phonetic isn’t phonetic | + 25 more...
|
Apr 05, 2023 |
|
Social media killed shame. | + 28 more | 04 Apr 2023
|
Apr 04, 2023 |
|
Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions | + 28 more | 03 Apr 2023
|
Apr 03, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 02 April 2023
|
Apr 02, 2023 |
|
You can't taste your own tongue. | + 25 more | 02 Apr 2023
|
Apr 02, 2023 |
|
Getting embalmed is the final spa day. | + 25 more | 01 Apr 2023
|
Apr 01, 2023 |
|
French fries are 33% poutine. | + 28 more | 31 Mar 2023
|
Mar 31, 2023 |
|
Eggs are liquid meat | + 25 more | 30 Mar 2023
|
Mar 30, 2023 |
|
Symphonies are cover bands. | + 27 more | 29 Mar 2023
|
Mar 29, 2023 |
|
Infertility is not hereditary. | + 24 more | 28 Mar 2023
|
Mar 28, 2023 |
|
Golf carts are sports cars | + 25 more | 27 Mar 2023
|
Mar 27, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 26 March 2023
|
Mar 26, 2023 |
|
Croissants are edible Damascus | + 25 more | 26 Mar 2023
|
Mar 26, 2023 |
|
An 18 year old can legally adopt a 17 year old | + 26 more | 25 Mar 2023
|
Mar 25, 2023 |
|
Life has no actual rules. | + 27 more | 24 Mar 2023
|
Mar 24, 2023 |
|
Every sock has a hole in it | + 24 more | 23 Mar 2023
|
Mar 23, 2023 |
|
We’ve all heard the same hold music. | + 24 more | 22 Mar 2023
|
Mar 22, 2023 |
|
You are never truly alone. Your 39 trillion microbes always keep you company. | + 26 more | 21 Mar 2023
|
Mar 21, 2023 |
|
Every shadow is naked | + 25 more | 20 Mar 2023
|
Mar 20, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 19 March 2023
|
Mar 19, 2023 |
|
Imitation crab is seafood hotdogs | + 28 more | 19 Mar 2023
|
Mar 19, 2023 |
|
At some point bubbly becomes foamy | + 24 more | 18 Mar 2023
|
Mar 18, 2023 |
|
You never see brown LED’s | + 25 more | 17 Mar 2023
|
Mar 17, 2023 |
|
The cop in Subway Surfers never gets thinner, yet he sprints for thousands of miles. | + 24 more | 16 Mar 2023
|
Mar 16, 2023 |
|
WWE is a modern day traveling circus | + 25 more | 15 Mar 2023
|
Mar 15, 2023 |
|
We need a movie with the two most wholesome actors Keanu Reeves and Brandon Fraser. | + 27 more | 14 Mar 2023
|
Mar 14, 2023 |
|
Celebrities and influencers need us, more than we need them. | + 25 more | 13 Mar 2023
|
Mar 13, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 12 March 2023
|
Mar 12, 2023 |
|
All pregnant women are bodybuilders | + 28 more | 12 Mar 2023
|
Mar 12, 2023 |
|
Let’s be honest John Wick isn’t exactly the ideal dog owner. | + 24 more | 11 Mar 2023
|
Mar 11, 2023 |
|
Ginger Spice was the only real Spice Girl. | + 25 more | 10 Mar 2023
|
Mar 10, 2023 |
|
Somewhere a minister is using ChatGPT to write their weekly sermons. | + 28 more | 09 Mar 2023
|
Mar 09, 2023 |
|
Barn owls existed before barns did. | + 24 more | 08 Mar 2023
|
Mar 08, 2023 |
|
People sometimes die in the living room | + 26 more | 07 Mar 2023
|
Mar 07, 2023 |
|
We produce the three states of matter from our butts. | + 27 more | 06 Mar 2023
|
Mar 06, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 05 March 2023
|
Mar 05, 2023 |
|
Coffee is technically a speed potion | + 26 more | 05 Mar 2023
|
Mar 05, 2023 |
|
Due to his healing abilities, Wolverine must have extremely soft skin. | + 28 more | 04 Mar 2023
|
Mar 04, 2023 |
|
Star Trek was one of the earliest workplace shows. | + 25 more | 03 Mar 2023
|
Mar 03, 2023 |
|
The inside of a Mandalorian’s helmet must smell terrible. | + 26 more | 02 Mar 2023
|
Mar 02, 2023 |
|
Smells are flavored air. | + 25 more | 01 Mar 2023
|
Mar 01, 2023 |
|
$10 is the new $5. | + 25 more | 28 Feb 2023
|
Feb 28, 2023 |
|
We are closer to 2050 than to 1990 | + 26 more | 27 Feb 2023
|
Feb 27, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 26 February 2023
|
Feb 26, 2023 |
|
Mrs. Incredible chooses her figure. | + 25 more | 26 Feb 2023
|
Feb 26, 2023 |
|
Pears are to Apples what Luigi is to Mario | + 25 more | 25 Feb 2023
|
Feb 25, 2023 |
|
2009 was 14 years ago | + 24 more | 24 Feb 2023
|
Feb 24, 2023 |
|
Locks turn doors into walls. | + 28 more | 23 Feb 2023
|
Feb 23, 2023 |
|
Speech is a modified exhale. | + 26 more | 22 Feb 2023
|
Feb 22, 2023 |
|
A butterfly is a worm on a kite. | + 26 more | 21 Feb 2023
|
Feb 21, 2023 |
|
A birthday cake is a candlelit meal. | + 24 more | 20 Feb 2023
|
Feb 20, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 19 February 2023
|
Feb 19, 2023 |
|
A ton of cars is only half a car | + 24 more | 19 Feb 2023
|
Feb 19, 2023 |
|
So much ink gets wasted on junk mail | + 28 more | 18 Feb 2023
|
Feb 18, 2023 |
|
Being positive is not always good. | + 24 more | 17 Feb 2023
|
Feb 17, 2023 |
|
They weren't sorry for party rocking | + 25 more | 16 Feb 2023
|
Feb 16, 2023 |
|
All holidays are made up | + 28 more | 15 Feb 2023
|
Feb 15, 2023 |
|
2023 is a bad year to be a hot air balloon pilot without a radio. | + 28 more | 14 Feb 2023
|
Feb 14, 2023 |
|
People who go to the Super Bowl don't get to watch the commercials. | + 26 more | 13 Feb 2023
|
Feb 13, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 12 February 2023
|
Feb 12, 2023 |
|
The skull is a brain cell | + 24 more | 12 Feb 2023
|
Feb 12, 2023 |
|
Heaven is a gated community. | + 24 more | 11 Feb 2023
|
Feb 11, 2023 |
|
Stamps are stickers with a job | + 27 more | 10 Feb 2023
|
Feb 10, 2023 |
|
Thermometers are speedometers for atoms | + 27 more | 09 Feb 2023
|
Feb 09, 2023 |
|
The zoo is the safest place to fart. | + 27 more | 08 Feb 2023
|
Feb 08, 2023 |
|
Van Wilder is Deadpool's college years. | + 25 more | 07 Feb 2023
|
Feb 07, 2023 |
|
Unlike Simba and Mufasa, Scar was actually a scientifically accurate portrayal of a male lion. | + 28 more | 06 Feb 2023
|
Feb 06, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 05 February 2023
|
Feb 05, 2023 |
|
An hourglass is a container of sand made from sand. | + 24 more | 05 Feb 2023
|
Feb 05, 2023 |
|
Your pet has a family tree. | + 24 more | 04 Feb 2023
|
Feb 04, 2023 |
|
It's a good thing farts aren't contagious like yawns. | + 26 more | 03 Feb 2023
|
Feb 03, 2023 |
|
Influencers are over rated salesmen. | + 26 more | 02 Feb 2023
|
Feb 02, 2023 |
|
That 90s Show is farther from the 90s than that 70s Show was from the 70s | + 25 more | 01 Feb 2023
|
Feb 01, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Month | January 2023
|
Feb 01, 2023 |
|
February is the most expensive month of rent. | + 26 more | 31 Jan 2023
|
Jan 31, 2023 |
|
We're all good at generating trash. | + 26 more | 30 Jan 2023
|
Jan 30, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 29 January 2023
|
Jan 29, 2023 |
|
Firefly and waterfall are opposites. | + 24 more | 29 Jan 2023
|
Jan 29, 2023 |
|
The only thing guaranteed in life is death | + 25 more | 28 Jan 2023
|
Jan 28, 2023 |
|
Plants can’t eat in the dark. | + 28 more | 27 Jan 2023
|
Jan 27, 2023 |
|
Synonym is an antonym for antonym. | + 28 more | 26 Jan 2023
|
Jan 26, 2023 |
|
James Bond lives a very glamorous life on a civil servant's salary | + 28 more | 25 Jan 2023
|
Jan 25, 2023 |
|
IKEA is the worlds biggest 3D puzzle store | + 25 more | 24 Jan 2023
|
Jan 24, 2023 |
|
Egging a house is expensive | + 25 more | 23 Jan 2023
|
Jan 23, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 22 January 2023
|
Jan 22, 2023 |
|
Billy Joel’s song Piano man actually has more harmonica in it than piano. | + 29 more | 22 Jan 2023
|
Jan 22, 2023 |
|
You can't know that you died | + 29 more | 21 Jan 2023
|
Jan 21, 2023 |
|
W begins with a D | + 29 more | 20 Jan 2023
|
Jan 20, 2023 |
|
There's always something above you | + 29 more | 19 Jan 2023
|
Jan 19, 2023 |
|
The 'b' in subtle is subtle. | + 29 more | 18 Jan 2023
|
Jan 18, 2023 |
|
Tortellini is inverted mac n cheese. | + 29 more | 17 Jan 2023
|
Jan 17, 2023 |
|
A Moustache is a lipbrow | + 29 more | 16 Jan 2023
|
Jan 16, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 15 January 2023
|
Jan 15, 2023 |
|
Vodka is potato juice | + 29 more | 15 Jan 2023
|
Jan 15, 2023 |
|
Yoda and Grover sound the same. | + 29 more | 14 Jan 2023
|
Jan 14, 2023 |
|
Humans are liquid cooled | + 29 more | 13 Jan 2023
|
Jan 13, 2023 |
|
The meaning of life is in the dictionary. | + 29 more | 12 Jan 2023
|
Jan 12, 2023 |
|
The 90s are the new vintage | + 29 more | 11 Jan 2023
|
Jan 11, 2023 |
|
Raincoats don't need to be washed. | + 16 more | 10 Jan 2023
|
Jan 10, 2023 |
|
Jet lag must be terrible in Star wars. | + 29 more | 09 Jan 2023
|
Jan 09, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 08 January 2023
|
Jan 08, 2023 |
|
We named ourselves humans | + 29 more | 08 Jan 2023
|
Jan 08, 2023 |
|
Your mum is your Spawn Point. | + 29 more | 07 Jan 2023
|
Jan 07, 2023 |
|
Placebo is pharmaceutical gaslighting | + 29 more | 06 Jan 2023
|
Jan 06, 2023 |
|
We use blinds to not get blinded | + 29 more | 05 Jan 2023
|
Jan 05, 2023 |
|
There are three sides to a coin. | + 29 more | 04 Jan 2023
|
Jan 04, 2023 |
|
Your chest is behind your back | + 29 more | 03 Jan 2023
|
Jan 03, 2023 |
|
2016 was 7 years ago. | + 29 more | 02 Jan 2023
|
Jan 02, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 01 January 2023
|
Jan 01, 2023 |
|
You can lick your own tongue. | + 29 more | 01 Jan 2023
|
Jan 01, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for 2022
|
Jan 01, 2023 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Month | December 2022
|
Jan 01, 2023 |
|
Your body has a mind of its own. | + 29 more | 31 Dec 2022
|
Dec 31, 2022 |
|
The brain has a frame rate | + 29 more | 30 Dec 2022
|
Dec 30, 2022 |
|
Egg nog is milk's sexy older sister. | + 29 more | 29 Dec 2022
|
Dec 29, 2022 |
|
History is a game of telephone. | + 29 more | 28 Dec 2022
|
Dec 28, 2022 |
|
Billionaires are the modern dragon. | + 29 more | 27 Dec 2022
|
Dec 27, 2022 |
|
Nothing rhymes with something. | + 29 more | 26 Dec 2022
|
Dec 26, 2022 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 25 December 2022
|
Dec 25, 2022 |
|
Glitter is art's STD | + 29 more | 25 Dec 2022
|
Dec 25, 2022 |
|
The class of 2040 is alive… | + 29 more | 24 Dec 2022
|
Dec 24, 2022 |
|
Winter happens twice a year | + 29 more | 23 Dec 2022
|
Dec 23, 2022 |
|
A cordless mouse is a hamster | + 29 more | 22 Dec 2022
|
Dec 22, 2022 |
|
You're late only if you do show up. | + 29 more | 21 Dec 2022
|
Dec 21, 2022 |
|
There's no grape ice cream. | + 29 more | 20 Dec 2022
|
Dec 20, 2022 |
|
Mrs. Clause never spends Christmas with her husband. | + 29 more | 19 Dec 2022
|
Dec 19, 2022 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 18 December 2022
|
Dec 18, 2022 |
|
You never hear about spicy salads | + 29 more | 18 Dec 2022
|
Dec 18, 2022 |
|
All trashbags are trash | + 29 more | 17 Dec 2022
|
Dec 17, 2022 |
|
Jumping is pushing Earth away | + 29 more | 16 Dec 2022
|
Dec 16, 2022 |
|
Coffee is bean broth | + 29 more | 15 Dec 2022
|
Dec 15, 2022 |
|
Musical chairs is a battle royal game | + 29 more | 14 Dec 2022
|
Dec 14, 2022 |
|
Cheetos are edible corn foam | + 29 more | 13 Dec 2022
|
Dec 13, 2022 |
|
Electric lawnmowers are so considerate | + 29 more | 12 Dec 2022
|
Dec 12, 2022 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 11 December 2022
|
Dec 11, 2022 |
|
A calzone is a giant dumpling | + 29 more | 11 Dec 2022
|
Dec 11, 2022 |
|
July to November spells Jason | + 29 more | 10 Dec 2022
|
Dec 10, 2022 |
|
The brain named itself. | + 29 more | 09 Dec 2022
|
Dec 09, 2022 |
|
Businesses shop for shopping carts. | + 29 more | 08 Dec 2022
|
Dec 08, 2022 |
|
Teslas get 0 miles per gallon. | + 29 more | 07 Dec 2022
|
Dec 07, 2022 |
|
The Sims 2 was 18 years ago | + 29 more | 06 Dec 2022
|
Dec 06, 2022 |
|
Most men get their first flowers at their funeral. | + 29 more | 05 Dec 2022
|
Dec 05, 2022 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 04 December 2022
|
Dec 04, 2022 |
|
The guy who killed Bruce Wayne's parents saved thousands of lives. | + 29 more | 04 Dec 2022
|
Dec 04, 2022 |
|
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory came out in 1971 and encouraged kids to lick walls. Lead paint was outlawed 7 years later. | + 29 more | 03 Dec 2022
|
Dec 03, 2022 |
|
Santa does not have just one night to deliver all the presents, he technically has 24 hours. | + 29 more | 02 Dec 2022
|
Dec 02, 2022 |
|
Spotify Wrapped is one of the most genius ideas where Spotify just gets free marketing by letting people share with everyone. | + 29 more | 01 Dec 2022
|
Dec 01, 2022 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Month | November 2022
|
Dec 01, 2022 |
|
Ice water refills itself. | + 29 more | 30 Nov 2022
|
Nov 30, 2022 |
|
Dogs fall in love with their kidnappers. | + 29 more | 29 Nov 2022
|
Nov 29, 2022 |
|
Jello is flavored thick water. | + 29 more | 28 Nov 2022
|
Nov 28, 2022 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 27 November 2022
|
Nov 27, 2022 |
|
Skinny people have less skin | + 29 more | 27 Nov 2022
|
Nov 27, 2022 |
|
Thanksgiving is about being thankful for what you have, black Friday is about wanting more, instead of being thankful. | + 29 more | 26 Nov 2022
|
Nov 26, 2022 |
|
Acronyms don’t need dots anymore | + 29 more | 25 Nov 2022
|
Nov 25, 2022 |
|
Humans are already littering on other planets | + 29 more | 24 Nov 2022
|
Nov 24, 2022 |
|
Soccer must be the most painful sport on the planet of you go by the reactions of players on the field. | + 29 more | 23 Nov 2022
|
Nov 23, 2022 |
|
It’s impossible to skip breakfast | + 29 more | 22 Nov 2022
|
Nov 22, 2022 |
|
Wikipedia provides more good to the world for less than $8 a month | + 29 more | 21 Nov 2022
|
Nov 21, 2022 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 20 November 2022
|
Nov 20, 2022 |
|
A semicolon is larger than a colon. | + 29 more | 20 Nov 2022
|
Nov 20, 2022 |
|
Old you is younger than you | + 29 more | 19 Nov 2022
|
Nov 19, 2022 |
|
Horses are sports cows | + 29 more | 18 Nov 2022
|
Nov 18, 2022 |
|
Someone has probably farted so hard they died. | + 29 more | 17 Nov 2022
|
Nov 17, 2022 |
|
We did Pluto dirty | + 29 more | 16 Nov 2022
|
Nov 16, 2022 |
|
Brightness is volume for your eyes | + 29 more | 15 Nov 2022
|
Nov 15, 2022 |
|
Arcades are a way for children to gamble legally | + 29 more | 14 Nov 2022
|
Nov 14, 2022 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 13 November 2022
|
Nov 13, 2022 |
|
Life is a pyramid scheme. | + 29 more | 13 Nov 2022
|
Nov 13, 2022 |
|
Zuckerberg makes Crispin Glover seem normal. | + 29 more | 12 Nov 2022
|
Nov 12, 2022 |
|
Wendy is Ronald's sister. | + 29 more | 11 Nov 2022
|
Nov 11, 2022 |
|
Spiders are nature's 3D printer. | + 29 more | 10 Nov 2022
|
Nov 10, 2022 |
|
The Sun has no shadow | + 29 more | 09 Nov 2022
|
Nov 09, 2022 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 06 November 2022
|
Nov 06, 2022 |
|
Eggs are also meatballs | + 29 more | 06 Nov 2022
|
Nov 06, 2022 |
|
The older we are, the quieter we cry | + 29 more | 05 Nov 2022
|
Nov 05, 2022 |
|
Sauce is paint for your tastebuds | + 29 more | 04 Nov 2022
|
Nov 04, 2022 |
|
Raisins are grape jerky | + 29 more | 03 Nov 2022
|
Nov 03, 2022 |
|
You are more attractive than you think | + 29 more | 02 Nov 2022
|
Nov 02, 2022 |
|
The Michelin Man is a tire elemental | + 29 more | 01 Nov 2022
|
Nov 01, 2022 |
|
All babies speak the same language | + 29 more | 31 Oct 2022
|
Oct 31, 2022 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 30 October 2022
|
Oct 30, 2022 |
|
$5 is the new $1 | + 29 more | 30 Oct 2022
|
Oct 30, 2022 |
|
Body Odor is natural perfume. | + 29 more | 29 Oct 2022
|
Oct 29, 2022 |
|
Alphabet soup in Japan must be wild | + 29 more | 28 Oct 2022
|
Oct 28, 2022 |
|
No one ever washes their chip clips. | + 29 more | 27 Oct 2022
|
Oct 27, 2022 |
|
You don't make friends with salad. | + 27 more | 26 Oct 2022
|
Oct 26, 2022 |
|
Robots are skeletons to androids | + 29 more | 25 Oct 2022
|
Oct 25, 2022 |
|
Pringles are tongue shaped | + 29 more | 24 Oct 2022
|
Oct 24, 2022 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 23 October 2022
|
Oct 23, 2022 |
|
Elevators don’t have music anymore. | + 29 more | 23 Oct 2022
|
Oct 23, 2022 |
|
We're closer to 2070 than 1970 | + 29 more | 22 Oct 2022
|
Oct 22, 2022 |
|
Almost every drug is vegan | + 19 more | 21 Oct 2022
|
Oct 21, 2022 |
|
Eggs are animal seeds | + 29 more | 20 Oct 2022
|
Oct 20, 2022 |
|
Unclipped toenails drive sock sales | + 29 more | 19 Oct 2022
|
Oct 19, 2022 |
|
Lego products are technically open source | + 29 more | 18 Oct 2022
|
Oct 18, 2022 |
|
Birds can double jump | + 29 more | 17 Oct 2022
|
Oct 17, 2022 |
|
Top Shower Thoughts for the Week | 16 October 2022
|
Oct 16, 2022 |
|
A lot of older civilizations probably never saw ice. | + 29 more | 16 Oct 2022
|
Oct 16, 2022 |
|
You’ve probably set multiple world records for things no one’s keeping track of in your lifetime. | + 29 more | 15 Oct 2022
|
Oct 15, 2022 |
|
Predator sees every fart. | + 29 more | 14 Oct 2022
|
Oct 14, 2022 |
|
Body language is real life Subtitles | + 29 more | 13 Oct 2022
|
Oct 13, 2022 |
|
Trees are taller water coolers. | + 29 more | 12 Oct 2022
|
Oct 12, 2022 |
|
Dying is scary but so is living infinitely. | + 29 more | 11 Oct 2022
|
Oct 11, 2022 |
|
All classical music you've heard have been covers. | + 29 more | 10 Oct 2022
|
Oct 10, 2022 |
|
You have more ancestors than your parents | + 29 more | 09 Oct 2022
|
Oct 09, 2022 |
|
Snape was an Incel. | + 29 more | 08 Oct 2022
|
Oct 08, 2022 |
|
For a dog, each human has a stink ID. | + 29 more | 07 Oct 2022
|
Oct 07, 2022 |
|
A surrogate mother is the ultimate organ donor. | + 29 more | 06 Oct 2022
|
Oct 06, 2022 |
|
Your feet smell, but your nose runs. | + 29 more | 05 Oct 2022
|
Oct 05, 2022 |
|
Sabrina the teenage witch is 43. | + 29 more | 04 Oct 2022
|
Oct 04, 2022 |
|
Language is man’s greatest invention | + 29 more | 03 Oct 2022
|
Oct 03, 2022 |
|
Chefs are DJs for food | + 28 more | 02 Oct 2022
|
Oct 02, 2022 |
|
You buy garbage bags just to throw them away | + 29 more | 01 Oct 2022
|
Oct 01, 2022 |
|
You are a hair printer | + 29 more | 30 Sep 2022
|
Sep 30, 2022 |
|
Real Life is pay to win | + 29 more | 29 Sep 2022
|
Sep 29, 2022 |
|
Children's movies are ranked based on reviews by adults. | + 29 more | 28 Sep 2022
|
Sep 28, 2022 |
|
An empty bottle is still full of air | + 29 more | 27 Sep 2022
|
Sep 27, 2022 |
|
You fall asleep by pretending to sleep. | + 29 more | 26 Sep 2022
|
Sep 26, 2022 |
|
August is the Sunday of summer. | + 29 more | 25 Sep 2022
|
Sep 25, 2022 |
|
Ribs are pork on the cob. | + 29 more | 24 Sep 2022
|
Sep 24, 2022 |
|
Most people are homemade. | + 29 more | 23 Sep 2022
|
Sep 23, 2022 |
|
doors are always in use | + 29 more | 22 Sep 2022
|
Sep 22, 2022 |
|
The letter W starts with a D | + 29 more | 21 Sep 2022
|
Sep 21, 2022 |
|
The sun doesn't have a shadow. | + 29 more | 20 Sep 2022
|
Sep 20, 2022 |
|
Chocolate is a fruit flavor | + 29 more | 19 Sep 2022
|
Sep 19, 2022 |
|
Reality TV is the most inaccurate TV genre | + 29 more | 18 Sep 2022
|
Sep 18, 2022 |
|
Everything was handmade before 1800 | + 29 more | 17 Sep 2022
|
Sep 17, 2022 |
|
All milk is breast milk. | + 29 more | 16 Sep 2022
|
Sep 16, 2022 |
|
Technically, all online art is pixel art. | + 29 more | 15 Sep 2022
|
Sep 15, 2022 |
|
Mint is spicy but cold | + 29 more | 14 Sep 2022
|
Sep 14, 2022 |
|
Gasoline isn’t a gas. | + 29 more | 13 Sep 2022
|
Sep 13, 2022 |
|
Growing old must feel very lonely | + 29 more | 12 Sep 2022
|
Sep 12, 2022 |
|
Most stick men are black. | + 29 more | 11 Sep 2022
|
Sep 11, 2022 |
|
The queen just spoiled the end of The Crown | + 29 more | 10 Sep 2022
|
Sep 10, 2022 |
|
10 thoughts on Queen Elizabeth II | + 19 more | 09 Sep 2022
|
Sep 09, 2022 |
|
Wordle is Hangman for adults | + 29 more | 08 Sep 2022
|
Sep 08, 2022 |
|
Egg salad is really chicken salad. | + 29 more | 07 Sep 2022
|
Sep 07, 2022 |
|
Joji is Billie Eilish for dudes | + 29 more | 06 Sep 2022
|
Sep 06, 2022 |
|
Soda is liquid candy. | + 29 more | 05 Sep 2022
|
Sep 05, 2022 |
|
Sleep is death just being shy | + 29 more | 04 Sep 2022
|
Sep 04, 2022 |
|
You will either live forever or die trying. | + 29 more | 03 Sep 2022
|
Sep 03, 2022 |
|
Quebec is the Wario of France. | + 29 more | 02 Sep 2022
|
Sep 02, 2022 |
|
You can eat a noodle through straw | + 29 more | 01 Sep 2022
|
Sep 01, 2022 |
|
A bad haircut grows on you | + 29 more | 31 Aug 2022
|
Aug 31, 2022 |
|
Sucks to be the early worm. | + 29 more | 30 Aug 2022
|
Aug 30, 2022 |
|
Finland is 1 country away from North Korea. | + 29 more | 29 Aug 2022
|
Aug 29, 2022 |
|
Technically, a taser is a power bank | + 29 more | 28 Aug 2022
|
Aug 28, 2022 |
|
Dating apps are made to be deleted | + 29 more | 27 Aug 2022
|
Aug 27, 2022 |
|
Seals are dog mermaids. | + 29 more | 26 Aug 2022
|
Aug 26, 2022 |
|
Salt is the ultimate spice | + 29 more | 25 Aug 2022
|
Aug 25, 2022 |
|
There’s only one in lonely. | + 29 more | 24 Aug 2022
|
Aug 24, 2022 |
|
TheSims series is a dollhouse simulator. | + 29 more | 23 Aug 2022
|
Aug 23, 2022 |
|
People with ADHD have idle animations. | + 29 more | 22 Aug 2022
|
Aug 22, 2022 |
|
Baby butterflies don’t exist. | + 29 more | 21 Aug 2022
|
Aug 21, 2022 |
|
You don’t really see old cows | + 29 more | 20 Aug 2022
|
Aug 20, 2022 |
|
Egg salad is chicken salad. | + 29 more | 19 Aug 2022
|
Aug 19, 2022 |
|
All birds are pilots | + 29 more | 18 Aug 2022
|
Aug 18, 2022 |
|
Your nipples are older than your teeth. | + 29 more | 17 Aug 2022
|
Aug 17, 2022 |
|
Life has a 100% mortality rate | + 29 more | 16 Aug 2022
|
Aug 16, 2022 |
|
No one has ever survived life | + 29 more | 15 Aug 2022
|
Aug 15, 2022 |
|
Unicycles are all wheel drive. | + 29 more | 14 Aug 2022
|
Aug 14, 2022 |
|
Babies don't cry, they scream in agony | + 29 more | 13 Aug 2022
|
Aug 13, 2022 |
|
Hot tubs are human soup. | + 29 more | 12 Aug 2022
|
Aug 12, 2022 |
|
Crust is bread armor. | + 29 more | 11 Aug 2022
|
Aug 11, 2022 |
|
Edibles are food that make you MORE hungry. | + 29 more | 10 Aug 2022
|
Aug 10, 2022 |
|
USB killers are serial killers | + 29 more | 09 Aug 2022
|
Aug 09, 2022 |
|
Minions don’t have nipples | + 29 more | 08 Aug 2022
|
Aug 08, 2022 |
|
The word crackhead is gender neutral | + 29 more | 07 Aug 2022
|
Aug 07, 2022 |
|
Most grandparents are orphans | + 29 more | 06 Aug 2022
|
Aug 06, 2022 |
|
ZZ Top’s alter ego is AA Bottom | + 29 more | 05 Aug 2022
|
Aug 05, 2022 |
|
Nachos are chip salad | + 29 more | 04 Aug 2022
|
Aug 04, 2022 |
|
Cows never get to drink cold milk. | + 15 more | 03 Aug 2022
|
Aug 03, 2022 |
|
Ice tastes different than water | + 24 more | 02 Aug 2022
|
Aug 02, 2022 |
|
Humans are faster when sitting. | + 24 more | 01 Aug 2022
|
Aug 01, 2022 |
|
Rock bottom is firm ground. | + 24 more | 31 Jul 2022
|
Jul 31, 2022 |
|
There is no actual donkey in the Donkey Kong game. | + 24 more | 30 Jul 2022
|
Jul 30, 2022 |
|
Dirt isn’t really that cheap. | + 24 more | 29 Jul 2022
|
Jul 29, 2022 |
|
As an adult, surprises tend to be bad | + 24 more | 28 Jul 2022
|
Jul 28, 2022 |
|
Leaves are Solar Panels | + 24 more | 27 Jul 2022
|
Jul 27, 2022 |
|
Snowboarding is technically a water sport | + 19 more | 26 Jul 2022
|
Jul 26, 2022 |
|
Washing your car is a losing battle. | + 19 more | 25 Jul 2022
|
Jul 25, 2022 |
|
Birds swim in gas. | + 19 more | 24 Jul 2022
|
Jul 24, 2022 |
|
Fruits technically qualify as fast food | + 19 more | 23 Jul 2022
|
Jul 23, 2022 |
|
Bananas are fruit sausages | + 19 more | 22 Jul 2022
|
Jul 22, 2022 |
|
Sometimes it’s ok to be the NPC and not the main character | + 19 more | 21 Jul 2022
|
Jul 21, 2022 |
|
Socks are your own personal carpet. | + 19 more | 20 Jul 2022
|
Jul 20, 2022 |
|
Texting and driving signs aren't generally seen by their intended audience | + 14 more | 19 Jul 2022
|
Jul 19, 2022 |
|
Being rich only feels special if most people are poor | + 14 more | 18 Jul 2022
|
Jul 18, 2022 |
|
Breastfeeding babies are at the top of the food chain. | + 14 more | 17 Jul 2022
|
Jul 17, 2022 |
|
All bleeding will stop eventually | + 14 more | 16 Jul 2022
|
Jul 16, 2022 |
|
Society collectively forgot about the selfie stick | + 14 more | 15 Jul 2022
|
Jul 15, 2022 |
|
Birds grow on trees | + 14 more | 14 Jul 2022
|
Jul 14, 2022 |
|
The universe has a birthday | + 14 more | 13 Jul 2022
|
Jul 13, 2022 |
|
Every race is a minority somewhere in the world. | + 14 more | 12 Jul 2022
|
Jul 12, 2022 |
|
It's game over even if you won the game | + 14 more | 11 Jul 2022
|
Jul 11, 2022 |
|
Your favorite song might not be the one you've played the most, but the one you've skipped the least. | + 14 more | 10 Jul 2022
|
Jul 10, 2022 |
|
Without Sherlock Holmes the search icon might be very different. | + 14 more | 09 Jul 2022
|
Jul 09, 2022 |
|
In the Toy Story universe the Muppets probably sound and act different than they're portrayed on TV. | + 14 more | 08 Jul 2022
|
Jul 08, 2022 |
|
Donkey just kind of assumed that Shrek owned a waffle iron. | + 14 more | 07 Jul 2022
|
Jul 07, 2022 |
|
There are no pictures in all of Star Wars. | + 14 more | 06 Jul 2022
|
Jul 06, 2022 |
|
Everyone tries to park next to the supermarket entrance but it makes more sense to park next to the grocery cart corral. | + 14 more | 05 Jul 2022
|
Jul 05, 2022 |
|
As a parent of 2 boys, the most unbelievable thing about Toy Story isn’t that the toys talk, but how well Andy has treated his toys over the years. | + 14 more | 04 Jul 2022
|
Jul 04, 2022 |
|
So many of us doomscroll and consume negative content that angers us or saddens us because negative emotion is better than no emotion at all | + 14 more | 03 Jul 2022
|
Jul 03, 2022 |
|
Deleting only the icon to give the impression you deleted a program won’t fool next generation parents | + 14 more | 02 Jul 2022
|
Jul 02, 2022 |
|
Anything you may do as a hobby, someone does professionally and earns their living that way. | + 14 more | 01 Jul 2022
|
Jul 01, 2022 |
|
Eight Fast and Furious movies and not once did they stop for gas. | + 14 more | 30 Jun 2022
|
Jun 30, 2022 |
|
Very few people want to solve problems, they just want to make enough money that the problems don’t affect them. | + 14 more | 29 Jun 2022
|
Jun 29, 2022 |
|
Tears are the only form of bodily fluid from other people, that most people aren’t disgusted by. | + 14 more | 28 Jun 2022
|
Jun 28, 2022 |