Football Cliches
By Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger
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Image by Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger
Category: Soccer
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Subscribers: 136
Reviews: 2
Episodes: 167
David
Apr 19, 2025
Hilarious stuff, the simpler side of the game
Nov 27, 2024
Oct 17, 2023
jack
Oct 12, 2023
back stronger, for its sins
Description
Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker.
Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN
| Episode | Date |
|---|---|
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Proper clubs & "woke pressing" with the Screen Rot Podcast
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May 28, 2025 |
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The 100-minute fetish club, Love Actually in Naples, and the ultimate "released on DVD" game
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May 26, 2025 |
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Marmoush's hat-trick of Etihad gasps, Messi in Mobland & what makes a "shrewd" signing
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May 21, 2025 |
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The Dean Henderson Final, Scottish police enganches & the hitman criteria
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May 19, 2025 |
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The Football Cliches Quiz XIX: Not The Top 20
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May 15, 2025 |
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The League of Farmers, metaphorical mountains & UFO-spotting Premier League managers
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May 12, 2025 |
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Stanley Tucci's Champions League punditry, Furniccio Villaggione & a chat with Rudi Voller
|
May 07, 2025 |
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Perfectly-timed crowd noise, Jacko Wilsheri & managers who qualify as "glorified PE teachers”
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May 06, 2025 |
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Football's present-tense addiction & penalty shootout celebrations: The listeners' loves & hates
|
Apr 30, 2025 |
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Accidental FIFA commentary, Newcastle's Fibonacci fate & Premier League cliche analytics
|
Apr 28, 2025 |
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Pope John Gregory, Premier League clubs as supermarkets & route-one crowd noise
|
Apr 23, 2025 |
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Fact-checking Paul Scholes, caretaker popes & Olivier Giroud's locker
|
Apr 21, 2025 |
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The Premier League Unfinished Business XI
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Apr 16, 2025 |
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Prince William's punditry, TNT's "hipster gunk" and a gift from the Keys & Gray gods
|
Apr 15, 2025 |
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Ribblesdale Rovers vs The Rules, Chris Sutton vs football jargon & the exact definition of a "hoick”
|
Apr 09, 2025 |
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The ultimate managerial indignity & everything ITV crime dramas get wrong about football
|
Apr 07, 2025 |
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Doing a job on Chris Wilder & goalkeepers just booting it upfield, with Bryan's Gunn
|
Apr 02, 2025 |
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Free-transfer pundits, Daniel Mann's woodwork nuance & ex-Spurs defenders vs. the Jonas Brothers
|
Mar 31, 2025 |
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”Snuffing out the danger", pre-match strolling & drinking the opposition's water: The listeners' loves & hates
|
Mar 27, 2025 |
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90/10 tackles, Danish player ratings & how to board a train like a 30-goal striker
|
Mar 25, 2025 |
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Woke metrics, Erling Haaland's Pro Evo name & our niche England predictions
|
Mar 20, 2025 |
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The Carabao springboard, more musical commentary & the most Richard Keys-sounding tweet of all time
|
Mar 18, 2025 |
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Knowing your way around the Champions League, German woodwork & England's future one-cap wonders
|
Mar 13, 2025 |
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The whole 11.2 yards, DNA-level Lampardian Transitions - and Keys & Gray become one
|
Mar 11, 2025 |
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The Pure Discourse XI
|
Mar 06, 2025 |
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How to time a red card, penalty run-ups & commentator Robyn Cowen voice-controls a stadium
|
Mar 04, 2025 |
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The Football Cliches Quiz XVIII: It Was What It Was
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Feb 27, 2025 |
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Champions-elect, relegated Rishi Sunak & Premier League managers with Athletic subscriptions
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Feb 25, 2025 |
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How to celebrate an own goal & ball-boy etiquette: The listeners' loves & hates
|
Feb 20, 2025 |
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Chuckling stadiums, Things-in-Chief and, finally, some actual whispering of it quietly
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Feb 18, 2025 |
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Crosses from the 1990s, baseball scores & the death of the managerial "war cry”
|
Feb 13, 2025 |
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Nursery rhymes with Fletch, Clark Kent goalkeeping & under-12s away-day cauldrons
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Feb 11, 2025 |
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The Football Cliches Quiz XVII: The Commentators
|
Feb 06, 2025 |
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The "17th chess piece", the death of the onion bag & coded messages to the board
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Feb 04, 2025 |
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Referees vs The Limelight, passages of terror & Matt 1 Hernia 0
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Jan 30, 2025 |
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"Football, bloody football", UK garage Postecoglou & the exact weight of a Premier League point
|
Jan 28, 2025 |
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Cometh the quinquennium, cometh the pod
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Jan 23, 2025 |
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Has the Premier League hit peak “What a job [Manager X] is doing up/down there?”
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Jan 20, 2025 |
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Portrait-aspect football & England managers in the stands: The listeners' loves & hates (feat. Chloe Petts)
|
Jan 16, 2025 |
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WW2 with Ray Parlour, Tamworth's global appeal & the 1863 Ballon d'Or winner
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Jan 14, 2025 |
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Trip-hop Liam Delap, the terminal velocity of a lob & the goal gifting crisis
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Jan 09, 2025 |
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The first embers of a game, heavy-metal Jonathan Pearce & the Andy Gray of lacrosse
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Jan 07, 2025 |
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”Listen, fair play": The Best of Football Clichés in 2024
|
Dec 30, 2024 |
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The Football Cliches Quiz XVI: Career We Go - The Rematch
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Dec 24, 2024 |
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Cliches do Mesut Haaland Dicks: Adam, Charlie & Dave’s footballing loves & hates
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Dec 19, 2024 |
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The blip-to-crisis benchmark, Comedy Central defending & Australian red card music
|
Dec 17, 2024 |
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Commentators sampled in experimental French pop & the ultimate generic multi-club ownership group
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Dec 12, 2024 |
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Unexpected Sutton, diags on MOTD & the “good time to play them” threshold
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Dec 10, 2024 |
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The best 9.3% of the FA Cup draw, the "stand named after you" threshold & Richard Keys on cars
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Dec 05, 2024 |
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An educated left head, the first goal ever uploaded to YouTube & the "big-money signing" formula
|
Dec 03, 2024 |
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Sunday League set-piece routines, the "olé" threshold & mistimed minute's applauses: The listeners' loves & hates
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Nov 28, 2024 |
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5.54 seconds of away-goal confusion, footballers in US T-junctions and the official Keys & Gray app
|
Nov 26, 2024 |
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The Bosman legacy, optimum camera angles & double saves, with Luke Moore
|
Nov 21, 2024 |
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59 consecutive hat-tricks, yo-yo countries and the first-ever usage of "tippy-tappy football”
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Nov 19, 2024 |
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Deodorant ads, Don(ald) Goodman & "The Deeney Guy": Cliches meets Sky Sports commentator Bill Leslie
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Nov 14, 2024 |
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xG meets crime dramas & the Sunday League to Premier League hat-trick pathway
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Nov 12, 2024 |
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The Vitality Stadium swing state, Noel Gallagher's co-comms & the "big five" of cheese
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Nov 07, 2024 |
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”Still 0-0, lads!", a man named Hattrick & the mid-2010s throw-in scandal
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Nov 05, 2024 |
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Curses vs Hoodoos, journeyman film directors & Keysey's philosophers
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Oct 30, 2024 |
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Jack Reacher's Villa 5-a-side team, two Andy Townsends & the most darts-looking PL manager
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Oct 29, 2024 |
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Styling out fake injuries & "How long ref?!": The listeners' loves & hates (feat. Doc Brown)
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Oct 23, 2024 |
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Salah's Sunday 4.30pm supremacy, Fred Again's biscuits & going down like a game of Jenga
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Oct 22, 2024 |
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The definitive game for every football scoreline
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Oct 17, 2024 |
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Armchair admirals, Roberto Carlos darts & "Doing a [Club X]”
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Oct 14, 2024 |
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Cliches vs The Football Ramble - The Football Cliches Quiz XV
|
Oct 10, 2024 |
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Liverpool's radar status, lusty bangers & Richard Keys’ 12,476-game TV marathon
|
Oct 08, 2024 |
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First names on shirts, Footy Scran technicalities & the FPL universe, with Ellis Platten
|
Oct 03, 2024 |
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An incredible football birthday card, Dutch league-table madness & Mick McCarthy in the jungle
|
Sep 30, 2024 |
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Football's shortest spell, the "in charge" threshold & the first half/second half vibe experiment
|
Sep 26, 2024 |
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Beating the commentators to the punch and the ideal conditions for "nothing doing": The Listeners' fascinations and irritations
|
Sep 24, 2024 |
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Footballing military ranks, Carabao chaos & a phrase only Sean Dyche would use
|
Sep 19, 2024 |
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Jamie Carragher's match-ball voice, promotion fodder & three-sided fortresses
|
Sep 16, 2024 |
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Carsley culture, scorelines you'd take before the game & the most left-footed Premier League club
|
Sep 11, 2024 |
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”Welcome to League C", pointless penalty shootouts & the connoisseur's referee whistle
|
Sep 10, 2024 |
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Silky Toblerones, Serbian football small talk & telepathic right-backs
|
Sep 05, 2024 |
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Cometh the minute, poetic Andy Townsend and Keysey's quote-tweet masterpiece
|
Sep 04, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: The minutes left vs blood pressure ratio
|
Aug 28, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Sparking a stroll, rickets vs howlers, and the Champions League anthem revamp
|
Aug 27, 2024 |
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Players spotting themselves on the big screen & ironic referee cheering: The listeners' loves & hates
|
Aug 21, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Big nutmegs, premature pacesetters & footballing disciples
|
Aug 19, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Transfer limbo, Romania '94 small talk & Merson does Strictly
|
Aug 14, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Sleeping horses and Harry Kane's complex classy touch
|
Aug 12, 2024 |
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The "Summer 2024 Transfers That Just Feel So Right" XI
|
Aug 07, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Carbon-copy commentary & where clubs store their pre-season minutes
|
Aug 05, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Footballers with Olympicy names & Unexpected Kevin Keegan
|
Jul 31, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Steve Coogan is playing Mick McCarthy in a film, what else is there to talk about?
|
Jul 29, 2024 |
|
The Football Clichés Quiz XIV: Cliches vs The Sweeper
|
Jul 25, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: "A real plomb", big-match dust-settling & the worst football Q&A night ever
|
Jul 22, 2024 |
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Squad arrival videos, MOTM substitutes & watching football on holiday: The listeners' loves & hates
|
Jul 17, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Unhinged pre-match montages & Heartbreak vs Heartache (2024 edition)
|
Jul 15, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: From Talksport to NATO - a cultural review of England 2 Netherlands 1
|
Jul 11, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Euro 2024's future Premier League forgettables & the Jordan Pickford penalty-heroics threshold
|
Jul 08, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Misstiano Penaldo, "The Misquoted One” & arm-wrestling with Martin Keown
|
Jul 04, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: The England clamour table, bending your run & dancing on the streets of City X
|
Jul 01, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: The unifying experience of watching England struggle to play football
|
Jun 27, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Martin Keown's GCSEs, Pro Evo Jules Kounde & when nations hold their breath
|
Jun 24, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: The vocabulary of an England group-stage draw & Euro 2024’s Commentator’s Curse
|
Jun 21, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: The Euros that didn't need to burst into life
|
Jun 17, 2024 |
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The Pure European Championship XI
|
Jun 13, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: 1.4 billion years of hurt, Grealish's mayo hell & the opening-game formula
|
Jun 10, 2024 |
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Capos, club mentalities & calculating England's actual years of hurt: The listeners' loves & hates
|
Jun 05, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Mourinho in Turkey, 71 billion calories & a football club every 2.24 seconds
|
Jun 03, 2024 |
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Clicheship Years: 2023/24
|
May 30, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Double swoops, double saves & Down Under with Eddie Howe
|
May 27, 2024 |
|
The Football Clichés Quiz XIII: Cliches vs Dial F for Football
|
May 23, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Pep's ice cream van, popping up with a goal & an "absolute football club”
|
May 20, 2024 |
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Hi-tech hoardings & tactically illiterate World XIs: The listeners' loves & hates
|
May 15, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: "Why can't they go on and win it?"
|
May 13, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Mid-2000s Premier League antiques & how the square goalpost met its end
|
May 09, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Four-star Haaland & the most elaborate football analogy in modern politics
|
May 07, 2024 |
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Gary Lineker meets Cliches: Why aren't strikers rounding the goalkeeper any more?
|
May 02, 2024 |
|
The Adjudication Panel: Winning the "hard way" and the Missing Piece of the Jigsaw XI
|
Apr 29, 2024 |
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The Football Cliches Quiz XII - The Totally Football Show
|
Apr 25, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: "Some bloke sat in a booth near the M4 with a fancy protractor"
|
Apr 22, 2024 |
|
All-English European ties & post-goal iPad analysis: The listeners' loves & hates
|
Apr 17, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: "What a horse he was, by the way"
|
Apr 15, 2024 |
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Sizeable hillocks & nightclubbing with McCoist: Jon Champion does Mesut Haaland Dicks
|
Apr 11, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: James Ward-Prowse Territories & hasty Panenkas
|
Apr 08, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Elland Road trigonometry & the Footballers Called Pete crisis
|
Apr 03, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: We've said 'come and listen to this podcast' and you've said 'thank you very much, I will’
|
Apr 01, 2024 |
|
The Football Cliches Quiz #11
|
Mar 28, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Among the assists, prime players & the tormentor-in-chief scale
|
Mar 26, 2024 |
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Centre-backs leading the line, overlapping kick-off time angst, and long-range near post goal aesthetics
|
Mar 21, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Pivotal wins, corners in a dangerous position, and the Factory of Sadness
|
Mar 19, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Agemates, locksmiths & Alan Curbishley's garden
|
Mar 14, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: "Over to you [Title Rival X]" & Knuckleball on Corrie
|
Mar 12, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Great White Shark 0 Killer Whale 1 (72 mins)
|
Mar 07, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: the Haaland missed sitter incredulity
|
Mar 05, 2024 |
|
The Football Cliches Quiz X
|
Feb 29, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: G-Nev's adjectives, cynical finishes & gobbling up chances
|
Feb 27, 2024 |
|
The Adjudication Panel: Lithuanian ultimate frisbee & how to divide up a league table
|
Feb 22, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Sensory football, a 27-second bright start & the war on socks
|
Feb 20, 2024 |
|
”Genuine height", European banana skins and the listeners' fascinations & irritations
|
Feb 15, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Midfield "quarterbacks" & Montell Jordan's right-backs
|
Feb 13, 2024 |
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Les Dennis, paintbrush volleys & the Quiz Question XI
|
Feb 08, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Horror shows, title blows and “different custard”
|
Feb 06, 2024 |
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Ref sandwiches, "teapot finishes" & the Premier League Mid-Point XI
|
Feb 01, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: FA Cup illusions & Andy Townsend’s octopus goalie
|
Jan 30, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: The Lampardian Transition, 2014-2024
|
Jan 25, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Footholds, foreign contingents & death metal midfielders
|
Jan 23, 2024 |
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The 'How Did [Player X] Never Play for [Club Y]?' XI
|
Jan 18, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: The most Premier League fixture there never was
|
Jan 16, 2024 |
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A superb footballer name, defenders shooting from 30 yards and throw-in paranoia
|
Jan 11, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: The longest 3.85 seconds in football history
|
Jan 09, 2024 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Washing machines that sound like referees
|
Jan 04, 2024 |
|
The Football Cliches Quiz IX
|
Dec 26, 2023 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Are we all truly ready for a Club World Cup?
|
Dec 21, 2023 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Glovesmiths and parking the bus at the Battle of Kursk
|
Dec 19, 2023 |
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Centre-backs on the wing & "comunicado oficial"
|
Dec 14, 2023 |
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The Adjudication Panel: "The Mesut Ozil of public transportation"
|
Dec 12, 2023 |
|
Copycat knee-sliders & kicking balls into skips: Chloe Petts does Mesut Haaland Dicks
|
Dec 07, 2023 |
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The Adjudication Panel: "He hit it where Grandma hides the jam jars"
|
Dec 05, 2023 |
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The Adjudication Panel: Can a goalkeeper be a wonderkid?
|
Nov 30, 2023 |
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The Adjudication Panel: The things in football you can 'ooze'
|
Nov 28, 2023 |
|
Football freestylers & Sunday league rondo etiquette
|
Nov 23, 2023 |
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The Adjudication Panel: 'The Scott McTominay of antibiotics'
|
Nov 21, 2023 |
|
The Pure EFL XI
|
Nov 16, 2023 |
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The Adjudication Panel: How many errors make a comedy of errors?
|
Nov 14, 2023 |
|
Gary Neville's parrots, with George Lewis
|
Nov 09, 2023 |
|
The dying art of managers moving upstairs, the 'revelation' threshold, and some low-key FA Cup magic
|
Nov 07, 2023 |
|
England's Euro 2024 clamour forecast and a Premier League quiz for the ages
|
Nov 02, 2023 |
|
The most comprehensive definition of 'ghosting in' of all time
|
Oct 31, 2023 |
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The Pure La Liga XI
|
Oct 26, 2023 |
|
Sean Dyche's Glasto, cheat codes and a data dive into 'too little, too late'
|
Oct 24, 2023 |
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Background pub TV games, flip flaps & the quiet dignity of a club-branded mug
|
Oct 18, 2023 |
|
Electric in the air, the 'chipped in with X goals' threshold & Our Summer With Richard Keys
|
Oct 17, 2023 |
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The Football Clichés podcast is back! (Trailer)
|
Oct 11, 2023 |