Smalley Marriage Radio

By Dr. Michael and Amy Smalley

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Helping you build a better relationship.

Episode Date
FLQ - Defensiveness, facts and jerks
45:03

It’s Friday Listener Questions day! WooHoo! On today’s show, we’ve got defensiveness, staying married to a-holes who will never change, and someone still completely stuck on the importance of facts! Consider it managed!

SPECIAL OFFER: Become a part of Pursue Oneness, our newest online experience and community! https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/offers/6WdgCzgc

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Feb 15, 2019
I got a B on Valentine's Day!
23:56

Today is a special day for love! And you get to experience my Valentine’s Day gift for Amy live on Facebook and over the podcast. I really hope she likes it!

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Feb 14, 2019
Pursue attraction
28:33

A story about a drunken crowd, a demanding husband and a wife who does the only thing she could possibly do to make the situation promising. Today we pursue attraction!

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Feb 13, 2019
Discover the DNA of your relationships
46:11

You are made for three fulfilling relationships. You are designed to seek loving, fulfilling and safe relationships with God, others and yourself. Each of these relationships is not only important, but each is intricately related to the other. Everyone wants deep, connected, safe, intimate relationships. A special episode taken from the video series, The DNA of Relationships.  Enjoy my father's session!

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Feb 11, 2019
Pursue communication and the Empty Box
20:57

Today we have a story. It’s called the Empty Box and we don’t know who wrote it, but trust us, you want to hear it. The emptiness may not be so empty after all.

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Feb 07, 2019
Pursue unity quietly
23:09

President Roosevelt's "day in infamy" and Winston Churchill's "never surrender" are two famous speeches setting the tone for today's show. We share a story from our past that I’m simply calling, the great American meltdown of NYC! Today we pursue unity through a story.

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Feb 06, 2019
Pursue peace crazy fast
25:09

Today is about understanding, perhaps, the single greatest thing you can do to decrease anger and increase intimacy! Pursue validation.

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Feb 05, 2019
Pursue Healthy Reactions
28:38

That was some of the greatest one-liners from movie history edited by Burger Fiction! What does it have to do with today's show on Pursuing Healthy Reactions? Everything! We needed drama to set up understanding the drama in your communication. Today is about finally discovering what's actually wrong with your relationship!

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Feb 04, 2019
FLQ - separate churches and know it all 7yr olds
23:47

Could a couple go to separate churches and how do you handle a 7yr old know-it-all boy? All this today on Friday Listener Questions day!

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Feb 01, 2019
Pursue incredible change!
38:11

Today is day two of the Pursue Oneness series of podcasts. It’s the first of seven key strategies that will help you build the relationship of your dreams! And you’re going to hate this one! Because it is staring at you every morning in the mirror.

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Jan 31, 2019
Week one of the rest of your life
21:59

Believe it or not we’re starting today, I bet you never thought I would do it! Pursue Oneness has begun! Today's topic is about goal setting, infamous issues and so much more! Plus, you get to hear what wicked crazy things we've got for you online!

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Jan 30, 2019
It's huge!
19:57

I just want to know if other men have the same confusion and frustration I do about doing our wife's laundry… The amazingly creative cuts and styles and creativity stinks! At one point I believe I had one of her workout tops that was somehow in two totally different pieces but connected and I seriously considered having a lobotomy.

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Jan 29, 2019
Ever feel ripped off?
22:25

Amy’s on a prayer retreat and I’m mad as all get out! Of course not about Amy being on a prayer retreat but about the ridiculous NFL football, sabotaging, ripped off, rigged, no good, liver licking...here’s a better rant for how I feel today about the two games over the weekend.

But at the end of the day, this is a relationship show after all. So I thought I might talk about what you can do when you feel ripped off emotionally by someone you love.

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Jan 28, 2019
FLQ - tracking your spouse
22:15

Today I take a voicemail question about whether or not it's ok to track your spouse via their smartphone or is that simply a lack of trust.  My answer is going to blow your minds! Or possibly not, depends on your mind I guess.

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Jan 25, 2019
Anatomy of trust
29:21

Maya Angelou once wrote, “I don't trust people who don't love themselves and tell me, 'I love you.' ... There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” Today we explore the anatomy of trust with Dr. Brené Brown...sort of!

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Jan 24, 2019
Discovering the value of your personality
57:37

Here's a special treat! From the video archives here at Smalley Institute, we give you my father's session from Hidden Keys to Loving Lasting Relationships...discovering the value of your personality!

Sign up today for the free Smalley animal personality online course! Here's what you receive:

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/offers/hg4XtVwE 

  1. Free online assessment of the Smalley Animal Personality Test (Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever, Beaver)
  2. Classic video from Dr. Gary Smalley on discovering the value of your personality
  3. In-depth lesson content to help you better understand each other
  4. The personality relationship dynamic report where you can discover key issues for every conceivable personality match
  5. And it's all free!
Jan 22, 2019
The story before 'I have a dream'
38:07

That was Martin Luther King Jr and his sermon, “But If Not” given at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia. Today we honor his legacy and find hope deep within the archives of his sermon notes for truth that is just as relevant today as it was when MLK wrote them.

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Jan 21, 2019
FLQ - Abandoned for Europe and a tick story
26:31

Today we help a young couple deal with separation and a surprise trip to Europe. Also, a couple who wonders if we might be able to help two completely opposite people get along. Which is something we can’t relate to!

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Jan 18, 2019
Rest Day: time to take care of you
32:49

“If you celebrate your differentness, the world will, too. It believes exactly what you tell it—through the words you use to describe yourself, the actions you take to care for yourself, and the choices you make to express yourself. Tell the world you are one-of-a-kind creation who came here to experience wonder and spread joy. Expect to be accommodated.” ― Victoria Moran

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Jan 17, 2019
Strength: a lower body relational workout
34:32

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” Friedrich Nietzsche. You’ll never guess what today’s show is about! We’ve got a lot more quotes like those for you today and they all have to do with the third New Year workout for your relationship...strength and speed. You get a great lower body workout today!

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Jan 16, 2019
Mindset: the ultimate upper body workout for love
28:08

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”
Your mindset needs a workout big time. Because you allow a lot of “dirty feet” walk around up there and it’s gotten messy! Today you’re getting the three keys to the greatest upper body workout for your relationship mindset ever!

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Jan 15, 2019
The core of communication
30:28

It’s all about your core, the title for the first show in our “Get Your Relationship Back in Shape” series to kick off 2019. This special New Year’s program will go four days and each episode will be a simple exercise you can start immediately to get your relationship “six-pack” real nice! The word of the day is “hark”. There will also be a brand new online experience to go along with this special series!

SPECIAL OFFER: You can build a better relationship in 2019 with this special online experience for only $2 - https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/offers/osBonM5o 

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Jan 14, 2019
FLQ - Failed nudity and trust
37:53

It’s Friday Listener Question day! On today’s show Amy and I get confronted through the voicemail hotline about our views of nudity then Kirsten left a message on wanting to help a friend, who has a history of being hurt, find trust again. 

Get all the show notes and more free stuff here: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/flq-failed-nudity-and-trust 

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Jan 11, 2019
If every couple could have a marriage like Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos
33:45

Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos shared on Twitter today that they are ending their 25 yr marriage. But they sound so happy! What in the world is going on? We investigated it for you and have some answers. But today’s show is about why your marriage should be like the marriage Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos described in their divorce announcement! There are literally 8 things stated in the tweet that every couple would dream of experiencing in their marriage.

Get all the show notes and more free stuff here: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/if-every-couple-could-have-a-marriage-like-jeff-and-mackenzie-bezos

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Jan 10, 2019
God, football and brain dead
20:15

“It’s not my life, it’s not the biggest thing in my life. My faith is.” On today’s show we will uncover the truth of who made that quote and why it matters to you at the beginning of 2019. We also share the story of a man who was braindead for 48 hrs and the miracle that happened next.

Get all the show notes and more free stuff here: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/god-football-and-brain-dead 

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Jan 09, 2019
How Nick Saban's loss helped my relationship
30:33

The biggest college football game of the year was last night and Nick Saban's unbeatable Alabama football team got crushed.  I was thrilled! But then I watched the post-game press conference and changed my mind because both Nick Saban and quarterback Tua Tagovailoa taught me how to better handle losses in my relationships.

Get all the show notes and more free stuff here: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/how-nick-saban-s-loss-helped-my-relationship  

Call us at (903) 392-0975 and leave a voicemail question or review.

 

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Jan 08, 2019
Write a letter change your life
23:43

Author Melody Beattie wrote, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” Today we learn the power of gratitude from writing a letter to people you care about.

Get all the show notes and more free stuff here: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/write-a-letter-change-your-life  

Call us at (903) 392-0975 and leave a voicemail question or review.

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/p/comedy-of-love 

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Jan 07, 2019
FLQ - Overcoming the impossible
37:53

It’s Friday Listener Questions day! Today I get to brag about my athletic prowess (sort of), help Matt deal with a wife who kicked him out wanting him to get his life right with Jesus, infidelity accusations from a hurt spouse with past issues and a very funny but hurtful listener shares why they like our show.

Get all the show notes and more free stuff here: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/flq-overcoming-the-impossible 

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BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

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Jan 04, 2019
Baby has bounce back
23:25

Disappointment, failure, defeat, and heartbreak happen. So what the heck do people have who consistently get back up again and find new ways to be satisfied in life? That thing is one word, and it is... resilience. Today you’re going to discover how to add a little resilience to your life at the beginning of 2019.

Get all the show notes and more free stuff here: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/baby-has-bounce-back 

Call us at (903) 392-0975 and leave a voicemail question or review.

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/p/comedy-of-love 

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Jan 03, 2019
The nightmare of labelling
39:43

On today’s show, “The road to hell is paved with overly simplistic labels.” Wrote author Grant Hilary Brenner. There are three different labels we either stick on ourselves or the people we love that need to be eliminated and thrown away immediately! We reveal the labels and how to get rid of them today on Smalley Marriage Radio.

Get all the show notes and more free stuff here: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/the-nightmare-of-labelling 

Call us at (903) 392-0975 and leave a voicemail question or review.

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/p/comedy-of-love 

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Jan 02, 2019
Christmas Eve alone - a story
23:23

You can change someone's life in the easiest and most fun ways you could ever imagine. The question today is if you are willing to do it.  Here is a story written by Niki Flow but read by Michael Smalley.

Get the full notes for this episode here: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/christmas-even-alone 

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/p/comedy-of-love 

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Dec 25, 2018
FLQ - Bad Christians and hopeful husbands
30:57

It’s Friday Listener Questions day! On today’s show we help answer stuff about bad Christians, a couple struggling and a husband wanting the impossible.

For the full notes and more of this episode: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/flq-bad-christians-and-hopeful-husbands 

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/p/comedy-of-love 

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Dec 21, 2018
You don't have to
33:13

December 21 and 22 are the worst travel days of the entire year. We know some of you are going home to families that aren't perfect. Today is a day for hope, because we are are going to journey with you and give some simple tips for dealing with hurtful, broken family relationships.

Get the full notes for this episode: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/you-don-t-have-to 

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/p/comedy-of-love 

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Dec 20, 2018
Stress is good
22:21

You will want to punch me straight in the neck today because on the show we are going to talk about why stress is actually a good thing! And, I might possibly have one of the greatest Distractions of the Day in the history of mankind. Let’s just say Amy is getting her Christmas present a little early this year! Welcome to SMR.

FOR FULL SHOW NOTES: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/stress-is-good 

Transform Your Marriage in 31 Days for only $31 dollars! We took the guesswork out of "what can help" and created for you an experience where we "drip" our most important education, devotions, and date night inspiration to you each week.

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

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Dec 19, 2018
Defining success for real
24:41

Twitter is flooded from a now famous tweet by JK Rowling on what successful people do. Her response got us thinking, what do successful people do? And what we found on the internet did not make us happy. So we are defining success for you today and the two things you can do to be a success.

FOR THE FULL NOTES OF THIS SHOW: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/defining-success-for-real 

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

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Dec 18, 2018
Improve your communication now
32:59

On today’s show we are giving you 3 things you need to stop immediately in order to improve the communication at home. Well almost three things, because one of them I totally disagree with and will fight to the death with Amy about it!

Transform Your Marriage in 31 Days for only $31 dollars! We took the guesswork out of "what can help" and created for you an experience where we "drip" our most important education, devotions, and date night inspiration to you each week.

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/p/transform-your-marriage-in-31-days 

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/p/comedy-of-love 

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Dec 17, 2018
FLQ - Breaking the teenager
20:25

How do you break a teenager from entitlement? This Friday Listener Question has a teenage daughter who thinks she’s entitled for everything. "We are going crazy." Amy and I want to help this listener and you feel less crazy about dealing with teenage entitlement.

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

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Dec 14, 2018
The deception connection - Intimacy Intelligence
12:31

Today's show gets right to the point! One of our Facebook friends made a brilliant comment about the grey area of private thoughts verses secret thoughts.  She helped us clarify something important that we share with you today.

Transform Your Marriage in 31 Days for only $31 dollars! We took the guesswork out of "what can help" and created for you an experience where we "drip" our most important education, devotions, and date night inspiration to you each week.

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/p/transform-your-marriage-in-31-days

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/p/comedy-of-love 

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Dec 13, 2018
The affection connection - Intimacy Intelligence
31:20

Today we are talking about the sound of intimacy and what you can do to make intimacy sound beautiful! And it’s not dirty.  The Distraction of the Day: So now that I know how much cockroaches freak you out. I’m going to fly through this show just to get to this distraction of the day! Yea, it has cockroaches!

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

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Dec 11, 2018
Should you lie - Intimacy Intelligence
41:09

It’s going to be a week for intimacy! Four shows all under the heading of, Intimacy Intelligence. On today’s show, do you really have to be totally honest with your spouse?

Distraction of the Day:

Amy...the following three things are possible reasons why a Nebraska Principal is now on administrative leave, can you guess which one it is?

She banned candy
She was caught eating cockroaches
She hosted a kegger for 10th grade class during school hours

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

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Dec 10, 2018
FLQ - Answers to questions you want to hear
37:47

Today we answer your questions, and they are incredible questions! But perhaps the thing you need to know most, is that I messed with Amy in the craziest way today...and she loved it!

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

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Dec 08, 2018
Serenity from solitude
20:10

“A life without a lonely place, that is, a life without a quiet center, easily becomes destructive. When we cling to the results of our actions as our only way of self-identification, then we become possessive and defensive and tend to look at our fellow human beings more as enemies to be kept at a distance than as friends with whom we share the gifts of life.” That was a quote from Henri Nouwen and his masterpiece Out of Solitude. Today we reflect on the benefits of being alone.  The Distraction of the Day:  How nasty would a song have to be to be removed from the playlists of major radio networks in Canada for being offensive? It’s a Christmas song. Find out which one at the end of today’s show and the lyrics that got banned.

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/p/comedy-of-love 

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Dec 06, 2018
The art of freedom from hurt
34:04

Have you ever gotten your feelings hurt by someone’s words or actions? Of course you have! Which is why today is so important for you. Whenever you experience things like Character assassinations, Threats of abandonment, Threats of exile, Invalidations, and Preaching...there’s actually something you can do in the moment to help you not take it so personally. That’s what we’ve got going on today for you on SMR.  Distraction of the Day:  What’s the most obnoxious thing a mother-in-law could do regarding hosting a family Christmas meal? I honestly don’t know what your reaction will be to this one, which honestly makes me feel very nervous =] because it feels like I should know what your thoughts would be on this one, if I was a better husband.

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Dec 04, 2018
To the unloved daughters
34:01

“I was the difficult daughter, deemed theatrical and way too sensitive, according to my mother. I was mocked for my reactions, for my emotionality, for how I laughed and how I cried, and I believed all those things to be true about me.” That was a quote from Gerri, a 43 yr old daughter. Today we are exposing the lies for the unloved daughters and more importantly, revealing the truth that will set them free!  Distraction of the Day:  Remember that last distraction of the day where Canadian forces disbanded raccoon fighting rings? Well I’m not sure what’s going on in the world today, but China has an even weirder crime ring! Dare to take a guess?

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Dec 03, 2018
FLQ - Dealing with separation and mental disorders
32:05

Today we take two of your questions, the first one is a voicemail hotline question from Matt who wants to know how to talk about his current separation and trying to get a plan together with this estranged wife. The second question came through our website and this wife wants to know how to deal with a spouse who has a serious mental disorder like Bipolar with sociopathic tendencies.

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Nov 30, 2018
Purpose driven joy - Relentless Joy #4
21:31

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche. There comes a time in every person’s life when you need to make a choice, a decision. Today is that day for you! When you live with purpose, you get to experience genuine joy.  Distraction of the Day:  You know all those crazy gender reveal parties and stunts parents are doing these days? What if I told you one dad spent over $200,000 on his baby’s gender reveal? Any guesses as to what could cost $200,000?

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Nov 29, 2018
The joy in caring for yourself - Relentless Joy #4
32:41

Jean Shinoda Bolen once said, “When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” Today we continue our series on Relentless Joy and talk about the joy in caring for yourself.  Distraction of the Day, What’s the weirdest crime ring ever busted?

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Nov 28, 2018
3 ways to live filled with joy - Relentless Joy #2
29:59

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." - Thornton Wilder. Today in our series on Relentless Joy, we talk about three things you can do to live a life filled with joy through the daily choice of gratitude.

Distraction of the Day:

Do you ever get anxious about hosting a big party at our house? A big survey was done recently about the top 10 ways to make your home guest ready. If you can guess the first one, me and the kids will do all the cleaning for our next party while you sit back and relaxing.

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Nov 27, 2018
Relentless joy - the first step
28:05

In a Charlie Brown Christmas, Charlie Brown was having trouble getting into the Christmas spirit so Linus said, “Charlie Brown, you’re the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem.” Today we start a five day journey on how to experience relentless joy. And you’re not going to like step one. For the distraction of the day, can a guy with a $65 budget get you to cry with his short film about Christmas?

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Nov 26, 2018
Husbands with low sex drive - Friday Listener Day
26:15

It’s Friday, which means we get to handle one of your questions! Today is a rarely talked about issue that researchers say impact an estimated 20% of couples. Esther from California asked us to do a show about low sex drive, but she wants to know about the husbands who struggle with a low desire for sex. We learn why this might be happening and more importantly, what to do about it. For the Distraction of the Day: Which two groups of people would be the most unlikely groups to serve soup together for the homeless?

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Nov 23, 2018
Be awakened
26:37

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! If you feel like your relationship is on autopilot, we talk about three things you can do in order to experience a fully alive, present and authentic relationship where kindness, forgiveness and patience rule!

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Nov 22, 2018
Stop being a doormat
28:37

Today's show is about how to stop being a doormat but not becoming a bulldozer instead.  And then there's this poem I wrote with Reagan...

Twas the day before Thanksgiving, and all through the land
People were scurrying - things got out of hand
The grocery store workers knew not what to do
When the customer told them to hurry because he had to poo
That customer was me, yes this is true
For the day before Thanksgiving HEB almost got a gift they could not return

Distraction of the Day:

If you get arrested for invading a home, assaulting the homeowner and doing this all naked...how should you try and make this right with your neighbor?

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Nov 21, 2018
Guaranteed happiness awaits
45:31

You know when God does something so unexpected in your life, you can’t help but fall down flat on your face thankful and overwhelmed by how much God loves you? That happened to me on Sunday and it involved an addiction, the death of my father and a jacket.

Coming up on today’s show:

  1. Miracles
  2. Power
  3. And total fulfillment in your life no matter what is going on around you

And...Twitter has once again reached out into the ethos to discover the answer to: What did you have 20 years ago that you don’t have today? Insanity ensues.

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Nov 20, 2018
14 important facts about hugs
36:47

Today we’ve got 14 interesting facts about hugs and why they matter so much to every single important relationship in your life.

Distraction of the Day:

I’m actually a little nervous for the distraction of the day. But at the end of this show I’m going to show Amy a personally selected, tirelessly researched, conglomeration of horribly awkward hugs...and my winning picture of the most awkward hug could get me in trouble. So I went ahead and found a video that will make everything ok again.

Nov 19, 2018
The teenage rebellion cure - Friday listener questions
45:28

Today we are going to talk about 6 things to help you cure teenager rebelliousness...

Distraction of the Day:

There was a worldwide competition held in Lithuania recently, it was for women, can you guess what it was about and I’ll even give you the grand prize for winning the World’s...a trip to Parliament in Strasburg or Brussels.

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Nov 17, 2018
The greatest present of all time
30:51

Amy: Hello listeners! This is Amy Smalley reminding you this holiday season that sometimes the very best present you can give your family is…...being….present.

Michael: Oh Amy….

Amy: What? You don’t get it? It’s present like a gift but also like you know the present….

Michael: Oh no I get it, listeners I’m so sorry I think that may be the last time I let Amy open the show.

Amy: Hey, everybody loves puns they’re so, punny.

Michael: oh no.

Amy: You should probably put me in a punitentiary

Michael: Listeners I’m so sorry I promise today’s episode will not in fact be about puns. We are going to talk about how you need to make sure you remain present this holiday season so you don’t miss out on all the wonderful memories happening all around you.

Amy: So to find out about how to wrap up this present of presence, stay tuned!

Distraction of the Day:

I’m pretty excited about driverless cars but I just learned something from a legitimate scientific study that shows why driverless cars will be the greatest invention of our time! Amy, can you guess what would get me overly excited?

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Nov 15, 2018
How NOT to go broke this holiday
32:40

Tis the season to spend money fa la la la la la la la going shopping and overspending fa la la la la la la la la don we now our credit card debt fa la la la la la la la la How could you spend that I’m going to kill you! Fa la la la la, la la la la

Some of you will find yourselves playing this song during the holiday season but hopefully by the end of this episode you’ll be singing a different tune.

And for the Distraction of the Day, Chicago Bears kicker missed field goals because of Jesus. Amy will have a message when she hears this one that you won't want to miss!

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Nov 14, 2018
Calm down holiday drama in 3 minutes or less
21:55

In this corner, we have Uncle Joey who’s had too much to drink and some strong opinions about the recent elections. Annnnnnnd in this corner we have our challenger Aunt Marge who feels the need to correct people about practically everything and is just itching for an opportunity to disagree. In this epic clash of opinions who will win in this holiday Battle Royale?

Amy: Um, I don’t really think anyone wins?

Michael: *sarcastic* But there’s always a winner!

Amy: No, I don’t think so. Really in these family battles no one wins and everyone just feels kinda awkward.

Michael: So what you’re saying is engaging in family drama doesn't actually fix anything and just creates more tension? Huh, who knew?

Amy: So today we are going see how engaging in family drama isn't really helpful and how we, as Christ followers, should be seeking to de-escalate conflict instead of provoke it.

Michael: And we’re going to teach you a method that can de-escalate this conflict in just three minutes.

For the Distraction of the Day, I’ve got a special video for Amy today. It’s only a one minute commercial for Spotify, the music streaming service. There’s no way their commercial could cause Amy to be afraid...is there? Stay tuned till the end of this podcast to find out whether or not I can succeed in terrifying Amy with a Spotify commercial.

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Nov 13, 2018
Thrive the drive - Happy Holiday Families #1
43:51

Folks it’s the holiday season and while our children are getting more and more excited about Christmas and toys parents are already starting to dread the 10 hour drive across country that the in-laws finally guilted them into making this year. If you find yourself stressed about traveling with your crazy family this year then stay tuned for some helpful tips on how to wrangle all those strong personalities into one unified goal.

What in the world did a superintendent of a school district do to get fired behind the bleachers at school? Find out at the end of today’s show.

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Nov 12, 2018
We wish everyone was like this guy
23:13

We have a great question from one of you today! It’s a newly married listener, but this guy is already on track to being an amazing husband unless he ignores my advice today.  I’ve got something for those of you who are strong at heart and have a steal stomach. Let’s just say you’ll never want to eat sushi again!

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Nov 11, 2018
Your worst enemy
37:31

Were you aware that you could be your own worst enemy? Today we are going to help you eliminate the negative self talk that is destroying everything that matters to you.  For the distraction of the day: What’s the weirdest thing you could imagine happening at a Waffle House? I think we may have found it but you’ll have to listen to the very end to discover what it was.

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Nov 08, 2018
The greatest political show ever
37:39

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” -- Marie Curie

Words cause fear. "socialistic," "neo-fascist," "immigrant invasion," "racist." The votes are in and this is going to be the first ever politically motivated podcast of my life...and I’m still not going to get into politics. Today we are going to explore how seeking understanding can actually help eliminate fear.

Amy..are you willing to earn $100 an hour at a job? I need you to accept or reject this job before you even hear about it. Do you want the job? Now stay tuned till the end of this podcast to hear if Amy made a wise choice or turned down something spectacular.

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Nov 07, 2018
Why you don't quit with Sam Lamott
01:10:19

You have chosen an excellent day to listen in because today, I have the honor of interviewing Sam Lamott, creator and host of the How to Human podcast which if you like listening to him today you can subscribe for free to his podcast on iTunes.

But we’re going to give you something else for free today, something Sam likes to call, “a Mood Altering Substance”. To find out what this substance is and how you can get it, keep listening.

Can I be honest and authentic with you? In a million years I never thought I'd get Sam Lamott to be on the show. That’s why I had my assistant reach out to him so I didn’t have to feel the sting of failure and rejection!

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Nov 06, 2018
You need a sexual ethic - interview with theology guru Preston Sprinkle
45:10

"It's the sin we don't struggle with that we tend to vilify most." That's just one of the great lines from Preston Sprinkle and my latest interview. Preston and I get into the topic of how to love someone well you don't agree with and what does it look like from a biblical perspective. You don't want to miss this episode because every one of us has someone in our life we could love better. Of course, I end up oversharing about my own issues, thankfully Preston is a kind man!

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Nov 05, 2018
Did I do something wrong?
23:21

Today we are taking a question that was asked of me by one of you: the question is “What if your spouse doesn’t respond when you ask what is wrong?” Well, to get the answer to that question you’ll just have to keep listening!

And for the distraction of the day. Something insane happened recently to a baggage handler for one of the major airlines. I’m giving Amy a multiple choice test you’ll wanna hear.

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Nov 02, 2018
Why women struggle with sex
24:45

Well, "cough" today uh, hello podcast listeners. Today we’re gonna talk about something, you know, we’re gonna talk about uhhhhhhh... Amy Smalley interrupts, “We’re gonna talk about why women struggle with sex.”

Yup. That’s what we’re doing, so ya.

And then for the distraction of the day, there’s something you can do with cows but it costs $300 an hour. You’ll find out at the end if Amy is open to it.

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Nov 01, 2018
Authentic love
41:05

In 1994, the year we got married, two Americans were invited by the Russian Department of Education to come and teach morals and ethics in the public schools. They were even allowed to teach biblical stories and principles. When they shared the Christmas story at an orphanage of about 100 boys and girls who’d been abandoned, abused and left in the care of the government...one little boy named Misha changed the story of Jesus’ birth in a way you won’t believe! In fact, it’s the inspiration for today’s five ways you can become someone’s favorite person!

Near the end of this podcast, I’ve got yet another ridiculous story for you. This one is about chickens. All I can say is, come on people!

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Oct 31, 2018
Top 5 Fantasies
39:57

Are you the kind of person who likes to let their imagination run a little wild? Are you afraid that maybe your imagination has a tendency to run a little too wild? Kids, if you’re listening you may want to close your ears and parents, you’ll want to open yours because in today’s episode we’re gonna dispel some common misconceptions about the, shall we say, r-rated day dreams of the average adult. Again, kids your gonna want to take your imaginations into the other room because now, it’s time for the adults to have some fun.

Then, near the end of our show today, I’ve got potentially the creepiest Distraction of the Day ever! This is October after all and Halloween is tomorrow!

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Oct 30, 2018
3 Tips to build a better relationship this month
31:01

We have now reached the last week of October and maybe you're already feeling stressed about the upcoming holiday season. Well, to help you prepare I’ve got a few tips on how you can take the time to improve your relationship in November.

And then, for the Distraction of the Day, which is near the end of each episode, I’ve got a story, from football, that’s going to make Amy cry. I saw this video over the weekend and it was filmed right after a major victory for a major school from a major Heisman candidate and it had nothing to do with football.

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Oct 29, 2018
Do you ever feel controlled?
26:11

“You just don’t understand why I’m right.” “I wish you would try to see this from my perspective.” “Why cant you let me have this one?” If you have ever found yourself thinking or saying any of these phrases, you may want to stay tuned.

Then, at the end of today’s show bc I’m in California I’m going to share something with you that may make you never want to visit Disney ever ever ever again.

Oct 27, 2018
Be irresistible
30:01

A recent study has revealed that people who are more socially connected generally lead healthier lives than those who are more isolated. This is all well and good, but the question we are going to raise today is, how do we become someone others want to get to know? Stay tuned to find out how. If you want to be the kind of person other people are attracted to, then you need to become that person for someone else. The trap we tend to fall into is we tend to isolate and close ourselves off out of a fear of being rejected. Instead of becoming more and more isolated, make the extra effort to be the person you wish others were for you. Be thankful, kind, loving and serving to others and I promise, you will immediately see a difference in all your relationships.

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Oct 25, 2018
The ultimate flu vaccine
41:59

On today’s show we discuss one method that may cause you to look at the people you live with a little differently.  It’s that time of the year pod cast listeners; cold and flue season is back with a vengeance and many are trying anything and everything to ease their aches and pains. From essential oils to detox diets, people are trying some crazy things to quickly rid themselves of their symptoms. On today’s show, we will discuss one method that may cause you to look at the people you live with a little differently.

And lastly, at the end of the show for our Totally Unrelated Distraction of the Day, two people break into a home in Canada. I’m going to give Amy the rest of this story at the end of the show today and I’m betting that she will totally support this home invasion…Canadian style.

Oct 24, 2018
The Anatomy of Marriage Interview
52:17
Today is a special day because I got to interview Seth and Melanie Studley! They have the Anatomy of Marriage Podcast that is a huge success! They share things you just don't normally hear from a couple, especially where one of them is a licensed marriage and family therapist! Don't miss out on this episode.  It's a new take on couples therapy and relationship advice.  “This is the podcast that we wish we could have had 9 years ago when our marriage was falling apart!”  Seth & Melanie Studley
Oct 23, 2018
The dark secret of social media
24:25
Let’s talk about the social behind social media, what you think you know may surprise you, and what you don’t...well that’s what we’re gonna talk about today. Along with a new segment we are calling “A Completely Unrelated Distraction of the Day” where I will share with you fun, strange, inspirational and often times totally unbelievable news from around the world.  Wait till you hear what a pizza delivery guy did for someone in hospice. Amy Morin, PsychologyToday.com wrote, "Throughout the last couple of decades, our ability to connect with people around the globe has exploded. Initially, the internet allowed us to chat, join newsgroups, or email anyone in the world. The invention of cellphones allowed us to talk to people when we were away from our desks and outside of our homes.  Then, social networks allowed us to connect with our neighbors, childhood pals, college buddies, and co—workers with a click of a button. Finally, smartphones made it easier than ever to connect with anyone we wanted around the clock.  So you'd think we'd be feeling good about our social lives, right? After all, never in the history of the universe has communicating with people been so simple and accessible." 
Oct 22, 2018
To be or not to be - statement #28 from Jesus
29:36
Serving others is the greatest tool for influencing them and setting them up to change for the better.  There is no greater act of love than to serve and what we’ve learned throughout this 28 day journey is that love transforms.  So what kind of servant should you be?  "We weren’t created to be warm, safe, and comfortable. You and I were made to be 'turned on'—to put our love to work, to apply our patience in difficult, trying situations..." (Ted Engstrom)  
Oct 15, 2018
Don’t bring a water pistol to a fire fight - statement #27 from Jesus
14:21
The benefits of being a disciple and discipleship are overwhelming! Joy, peace and happiness result from following Jesus Christ, together with the hope of being like him and with him in heaven. “Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. 20 Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20  The heart of Jesus is that his disciples go out to all the world and make more disciples.  
Oct 14, 2018
Reconcile through faith or be eaten by the hawk - statement #26 from Jesus
14:17
"So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God." Matthew 5:23-24 NLT In v23 Jesus is likely talking about someone you have legitimately offended.  You probably did do something wrong and you need to go immediately and make it right.  Jesus says there’s more to this commandment than simply not murdering. We must tackle our anger by forgiving each other. Even if we are at the most sacred moment of our year—poised to offer a gift to God—forgiveness is more important. We must leave our gift and make peace with the person with whom we are so angry. (Knowles, Andrew. The Bible Guide.)  
Oct 13, 2018
Be radical when it hurts - statement #25 from Jesus
14:17
Jesus is demanding a radical kind of love, to forgive when they don’t deserve it. Peter’s question in v21 comes from the teaching in verses 15-20.  One of the new things I learned here was that the typical rabbinic consensus was that you would need to forgive a brother three times.  But Jesus radically challenges this idea.  Not three but seven times seventy! "Jesus does more than forbid vengeance; he transposes a cry of revenge (see Gen. 4:15, 23–24) into a call for forgiveness. Whether he says “seventy-seven times” (NIV) or “seventy times seven” (NIV marg.), his words reject a calculating, quantitative approach to forgiveness. Love within the church “is expressed by an indefatigable capacity to forgive the brethren.”25 The ensuing parable illustrates the lesson." (Chamblin, J. Knox. “Matthew.” Evangelical Commentary on the Bible.)  
Oct 12, 2018
Life is short - statement #24 from Jesus
14:01
"The picture of forgiveness in verse 38 is of a measuring jar in which the corn is pressed down so that it will hold more, shaken together so that every crack is filled, and poured over the top so that it overflows. Just as God has generously given to his own, so the disciple should give an overflowing amount to others." “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37
Oct 11, 2018
Be the greatest of all time - statement #23 from Jesus
17:40
Imagine going to the doctor's office for a check-up. The doctor says to you, "You are a magnificent physical specimen. You have the body of an Olympian. You are to be congratulated." Later that day while climbing the stairs, your heart gives out. You find out later your arteries were so clogged that you were like one jelly doughnut away from the grim reaper. You go back to the doctor and say, "Why didn't you tell me?" The doctor says, "Well, I knew your body is in worse shape than the Pillsbury doughboy, but if I tell people stuff like that, they get kind of offended. It's kind of bad for business. They don't come back. I want this to be a safe place where you feel loved and accepted." You'd be furious! You'd say to the doctor, "When it comes to my body, I want the truth!" (Illustration by John Ortberg)  
Oct 10, 2018
Claim your birthright now - statement #22 from Jesus
18:53
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 (NLT). Peace is the birthright of every believer in all circumstances. It is found only in God and is maintained through having a close relationship with him. The point here is to find peace, rest in Jesus before ever trying to obey his commands.  Otherwise law keeping becomes a terrible bondage. Many whom Jesus addresses are weary and burdened precisely because of their efforts to keep the Law (cf. Acts 15:10). Jesus grants rest to his people by giving them his law (vv. 28–29)! In fact, the subject of the very next passage is that God revealed the fourth commandment to grant rest (the meaning of the word sabbath). Jesus’ yoke is easy!
Oct 09, 2018
Protection from the nasty stuff - statement #21 from Jesus
13:43
Carl Lundquist in Silent Issues of the Church, writes:  Henry Wingblade used to say that Christian personality is hidden deep inside us. It is unseen, like the soup carried in a tureen high over a waiter’s head. No one knows what’s inside—unless the waiter is bumped and he trips! Just so, people don’t know what’s inside us until we’ve been bumped. But if Christ is living inside, what spills out is the fruit of the Spirit.  "Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace."  Romans 8:5–6 NLT    
Oct 08, 2018
Wish you had a damper - statement #20 from Jesus
09:20
Anyone who has lived or worked in a skyscraper knows tall buildings sway in the wind. There’s no danger; the engineers know it will happen, but the sway is uncomfortable for people inside. When engineers and architects designed Citicorp Center in New York, they decided to do something about it.  At the top of the fifty-nine story building, they installed a machine called a tuned mass damper. The machine, writes Joe Morgenstern in New Yorker magazine, “was essentially a four-hundred-and-ten-ton block of concrete, attached to huge springs and floating on a film of oil. When the building swayed, the block’s inertia worked to damp the movement and calm tenants’ queasy stomachs.”  When the winds of life gust around us, there is a stabilizing force in the heart of every believer that calms his or her fears. It is trust in God.  “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.” John 14:1  
Oct 08, 2018
The remedy for fear - statement #19 from Jesus
12:52
Some of you are not going to like this one because it’s something you struggle with everyday.  Personally this is finally something I don’t really struggle through a lot.  I think my blessing is that I’ve gone through so many insane things that it has made it easier for me not to freak out about the future.  However, let’s not bring up:  self-discipline, thoughts, lying and a whole bunch more!  The point is take a deep breath and trust Him.  All of us are in the same boat dealing with the waves of this fallen world.  But if worrying about the future is your thing, the truth is that uneasiness and anxiety about the future is a faith problem and grounded in a lack of trust in God and what he has promised.  
Oct 06, 2018
Scrambled eggs and great relationships - statement #18 from Jesus
11:57
The difficulties and struggles of your relationship are going to tempt you to give up.  The evil one is going to flood your mind with thoughts like, “Does God even love me?  This is never going to get better.  I can’t keep doing this!”  Never stop praying.  Never stop believing.  Never stop hoping in Jesus. Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:2-3  
Oct 05, 2018
Allow the hurt to grow you - statement #17 from Jesus
12:54
For me this statement, isn’t just about prayer.  Even though yesterday we talked about how important prayer is and how it should be the beginning, middle and end of everything we do. Jesus suffered.  If you keep reading in Matthew 26:36 you can see how his best friends in life let him down.  They just couldn’t stay awake.  Jesus Christ’s life was characterised by suffering.  There are two things you need to learn today, two things that can free you from suffering.  
Oct 04, 2018
Is it really the only thing left - statement #16 from Jesus
12:08
"That does not mean that one needs to be persistent because God is reluctant to give. The point of the parable is not that God, like the person in the house, must be persuaded to give. Just the opposite. One needs to be persistent because God longs to give good gifts to his children, and he is sure to answer." (Schreiner, T. R.) “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” Luke 11:9 A Beautiful Garden of Prayer by James Henry Fillmore and Eleanor Allen Schroll in 1920: There’s a garden where Jesus is waiting, There’s a place that is wondrously fair. For it glows with the light of His presence, ‘Tis the beautiful garden of prayer. In my own life, and what I’ve often heard from others, “I’ve got nothing left but to pray...”.   When are we going to stop treating prayer as a “last resort”? It should be the primary way we work on change for ourselves and others.  
Oct 03, 2018
Get everything you ever wanted - statement #15 from Jesus
11:09
“But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.” Matthew 5:39 Obeying the commands is a heart issue. If you don’t make it a heart issue, you’ll do your best to find a way around the commands of Jesus. We can’t ignore these demands by Jesus.  Obedience is the fruit of loving Jesus. How does Jesus want you to love others? ?We are no longer under the rule of reciprocity! This is about freedom from hurt and unmet expectations.  You actually don’t have to hit back, you can walk in freedom because of what Jesus did for you. In Jesus you are: Defended Restored Healed Set free Redeemed Cared for You are loved! You are accepted! You matter! And now go and give what you have received to others!
Oct 02, 2018
You know what you want soooo - statement #14 from Jesus
12:40
“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” Matthew 7:12 In chapter 7:1-12 Jesus is addressing your attitude toward others and God, specifically being judgmental. There’s two types of judging: Hypocritica Healthy Once you get your own junk, how you approach others about theirs will be different, more compassionate and understanding. You know that God is the actual judge and you are merely trying to help out a fellow disciple of Jesus. How does Jesus want you to love others? Positive acts of love defeat a judgmental spirit. This one statement is a grand summary of all that Jesus taught about relationships with others. He wants you to be Compassionate Forgiving Understanding Empathic Frankly! All the things you are wanting from others! It’s really about turning your complaints about other people and how they are treating you into acts of love for them.   How is this possible? Trusting in Jesus that he will empower you to pull it off.  Think of it as a miracle, because it is.
Oct 01, 2018
You need this the most - statement #13 from Jesus
10:15
Then Jesus answered his thoughts. “Simon,” he said to the Pharisee, “I have something to say to you.” “Go ahead, Teacher,” Simon replied. Then Jesus told him this story: “A man loaned money to two people—500 pieces of silver to one and 50 pieces to the other. But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts. Who do you suppose loved him more after that?” Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he canceled the larger debt.” Luke 7:40-43 Those who realize they are in the most need of forgiveness are the ones who will respond with the most love and gratitude. Jesus wasn’t trying to point out that Simon was somehow rude, but that the woman showed “extraordinary” love.  People who assume they are all good will never experience the kind of love Jesus is offering because they don’t understand their own brokenness. How does Jesus want you to love others? Recognize your need for forgiveness and give that to others. Be lovingHave gratitude: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. Do you really not understand your own junk? "But the point of the entire story is that her love is the result of her forgiveness. That love and gratitude flow from forgiveness is clearly the point of the parable (vv. 41–42), and the woman’s actions of love toward Jesus stem from her experience of a forgiveness that has already been received.  (Schreiner, T. R. (1995). Luke. In Evangelical Commentary on the Bible (Vol. 3, p. 816). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House.  
Oct 01, 2018
Never Never Never and Never - statement #12 from Jesus
17:56
  “No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you.” John 14:18 In this statement Jesus is assuring his freaked out disciples during the last supper. For the Jews, they often compared a Rabbi to a father and if a disciple’s Rabbi died they would compare themselves to orphans. “A commitment to an ongoing relationship and to the attitude and behaviour demanded by it. It is evident in human relationships and also in the covenant relationship between God and his people.” (Martin Manser) God keeps his promises, which is the example to follow. “Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.” Hebrews 10:23 “Praise the LORD who has given rest to his people Israel, just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the wonderful promises he gave through his servant Moses.” 1 Kings 8:56 How does Jesus want you to treat others? Ruth 1:16-17 “But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!” Never quit. Stay committed. Regardless of their behavior. People don’t have to earn your love and devotion. Boundaries are still ok Being honored is still ok Being friends is different than being committed Be careful not to complain about this, because as a disciple of Jesus you are constantly called to be like him and do what he did. What does it take to never quit Endurance Patience Faith - anything is possible...even a miracle!
Sep 29, 2018
You gotta be it to feel it - statement #11 from Jesus
13:34
“I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!” John 15:11 Remember how we’ve talked about one of the results of abiding in Jesus and obeying his commands is joy? The fruit of the true disciple is joy, and frankly, no matter what. Jesus wants you to treat others just like he treats you. It’s what shows people around you that you’re a true disciple of Jesus.  The bible uses the word here for joy in two ways. It can either be in feeling or in action. You are expressing a positive intention about a past or future action/event... Even how we remember can be covered in joy if we remain in Jesus. And most certainly how we plan to act on some offense in the future matters to Jesus. How does Jesus want you to love others… Be filled with JOY, no matter what. Two things stood out to me in trying to understand this statement:   Be joy, in your actions, thoughts and attitude. That kind of freedom is the result of loving Jesus. Expect joy, treat others in joy because you know that whatever is happening will change and be redeemed somehow by Jesus. Is 51:11 Those who have been ransomed by the LORD will return. They will enter Jerusalem singing, crowned with everlasting joy. Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be filled with joy and gladness. Isaiah 41:28 I will open up rivers for them on the high plateaus. I will give them fountains of water in the valleys. I will fill the desert with pools of water. Rivers fed by springs will flow across the parched ground. Isaiah 55:12 You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands! John 7:38 Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’”
Sep 28, 2018
How brokenness becomes awesomeness
10:41
"God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth." Matthew 5:3-5 In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus starts with Eight Beatitudes or blessings for a specific type of person/attitude/character.  For me, you can summarize Jesus’ promises recorded here as, how joyful are the ones who recognize they only need God! How does Jesus want you to treat others? Recognize your need and total dependence on God to love others well. You can’t do it apart from God...period.  Develop a humble and God-dependent heart and you will be more gentle with the ones you love and the ones who are difficult. God-dependent people are simply more gracious and kind and gentle. You can become like the great Saints of the bible: David — “The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise” (Psalm 51:17). Everyone agrees that this is the spirit that pleases God after you are taken in adultery and murder. But what about the times when you are doing good? Job — “I had heard of thee by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees thee; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:5–6). Isaiah — “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” (Isaiah 6:5). So we learn from Job and Isaiah that one source of lowliness is to see God in his power and holiness.  (www.desiringgod.org)
Sep 27, 2018
The most radical way to love - statement #9 from Jesus
12:29
Where individuals sat at an ancient Jewish table for a meal mattered.  The seating arrangement was highly important. Jesus knew who was going to betray him, Judas, and yet he gave Judas the seat to his left! This was the seat reserved by the host for the person designated as most honored guest! How does Jesus want you to love others? Be a servant, lay down your life.  My dad used to ask women in audience around the world, “How many of you ladies would have a problem submitting to a dead man?” Extreme example, but it hits the point! You can submit to and serve each other when you feel like the other person has your best interest in mind and isn’t trying to take advantage of you but rather is trying to serve you. If someone you love is shut down toward you, take the initiative and serve.  Serving others is a powerful way to open their spirit back up! And you serve others regardless of how they are treating you.  Jesus knew Judas was going to betray him.  He knew it! Yet still he gave Judas the seat of most honored guest out of all the disciples for the last supper.     
Sep 26, 2018
If only you were willing to love like this
14:04
“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 “Jesus teaches Nicodemus that God’s only motive is love. Jesus hasn’t been sent into the world to judge, punish and sentence to death. He has come to reveal the light and show the love of God. He longs that people should stop preferring darkness and clinging to shame.” (Knowles, A. (2001). The Bible guide (1st Augsburg books ed., p. 510). Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg.) So how are you supposed to love others? Like God loves you “A twenty-six-word parade of hope: beginning with God, ending with life, and urging us to do the same. Brief enough to write on a napkin or memorize in a moment, yet solid enough to weather two thousand years of storms and questions. If you know nothing of the Bible, start here.” Max Lucado
Sep 26, 2018
What are you worked up about
14:08
“So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.” Luke 12:32 “Little flock” refers to believers who belong to God’s kingdom and live under God’s loving care (vv. 22–31). This image recalls the Old Testament's depiction of God as a caring shepherd of His people (e.g., Psa 77:20; Jer 13:17; Mic 4:8). The true disciple is not afraid because of a sincere trust in God. The true disciple doesn’t draw their security from things, or people, or places but from God. This makes you free to give to others when called upon. If their treasure (or security) is money, then that will be their consuming passion. Making money one’s treasure is the path to insecurity… (Schreiner, T. R. (1995). Luke. In Evangelical Commentary on the Bible (Vol. 3, p. 823). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House.) Why did Jesus make this statement? “We stop focusing our quest on things, and we start selling what we don’t need and turning our stockpiled resources into ministries of kingdom-bringing love.” John Piper How does this help your relationship? "The Romans had a proverb which said that money was like sea water; the more you drink the thirstier you become. Similarly, as long as our attitude is that of the rich fool our desire will always be to get more—and that is the reverse of the Christian way."(Barclay, W. (2001). The Gospel of Luke (p. 195). Louisville, KY; London: Westminster John Knox Press.) “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” Corrie ten Boom
Sep 24, 2018
The love language of Jesus - statement #6 from Jesus
08:56
“If you love me, obey my commandments.” When he makes this statement, it was a big evening for Jesus.  It’s his formal farewell to his disciples, his friends.   And his friends are freaking out! They are scared. How does Jesus decide to comfort them? He promises the Holy Spirit - the great comforter. The one who would guide, teach, encourage, empower, and mediate on behalf of the believer. Ultimately he was giving them the comforting presence of himself - Jesus. The provision of Jesus that will bring about this relationship is declared to be the indwelling Spirit (vv. 15–17) Holy Spirit has two new names:  the Paraclete (NIV Counselor, v. 16) the Spirit of truth Paraclete (Gk. parakletos) is unique to John (elsewhere 14:26; 15:26; 16:7; 1 John 2:1) and expresses the Spirit’s strengthening, equipping role.  A parakletos was a judicial advocate (cf. Matt. 10:16–20) and here Jesus says that Christians alone can enjoy his aid (John 14:17). How does this help your relationship? When you obey and love Jesus, you (and only the one who believes and acts) gets the Holy Spirit! What does your relationship need… Strength for tough times...you get thatTruth...you get thatEncouragement...you get thatGuidance...you get thatEmpowerment to treat others like Jesus...you get thatThe comforting presence of Jesus...you get that “The Christian’s life in all its aspects—intellectual and ethical, devotional and relational, upsurging in worship and outgoing in witness—is supernatural; only the Spirit can initiate and sustain it. So apart from him, not only will there be no lively believers and no lively congregations, there will be no believers and no congregations at all.” – J. I. Packer  
Sep 24, 2018
Let His promises protect your relationship - statement #5 from Jesus
12:07
Let His promises protect your relationship John 15:5 (Part 1 - the critical importance of intimacy with Jesus) “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” “What prompts Jesus to use this image? His figures (shepherd, bread, water, light) all came from ancient Jewish traditions. If Jesus left the Upper Room in 14:30, he may have stopped at the temple to teach and to pray. At the entrance of the Holy Place (west of the altar), steps led to a linen curtain covered with purple, scarlet, and blue flowers. Solid gold chains hung alongside the curtain from the door beam. Above the curtain (beneath the roof line) grew a gigantic grapevine of pure gold, representing Israel. Wealthy citizens could bring gifts to add to the vine (gold tendrils, grapes, or leaves), and these would be added by metal workers to the ever-growing vine.  Josephus claims that some of the grape clusters were the “height of a man.” The vine/vineyard metaphor is used frequently in the Old Testament. Israel is often depicted as a vine transplanted from Egypt (Ps. 80:8–11) and brought to fertile soil (Ezek. 17:1–6). Enemies may trample the vineyard (Jer. 12:10–11) but God tends it carefully and looks for fruit (Isa. 5:1–7). The vineyard may be the preeminent biblical symbol of the locus of God’s activity, his nurture, and his expectations (cf. Matt. 21:33–41).  (Burge, G. M. (1995). John. In Evangelical Commentary on the Bible (Vol. 3, pp. 869–870). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House.) Jesus emphasizes two things: Abide Proof How does this help your relationships?  
Sep 22, 2018
Hold on for dear life - statement #4 from Jesus
11:37
'Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”'  John 8:31-32 The NT stresses the need for believers to remain in Christ. The reality of this close personal relationship with Jesus Christ is expressed in obedience to his word and is essential to effective discipleship. How do you abide in Jesus? Hold to his teaching (1 John 2:24) Obedience to him (John 15:10) Live like Jesus (1 John 2:6) But this is not accomplished without Communion (John 6:56) The Spirit’s anointing (1 John 2:27) By faith (Ephesians 3:17-19) How does this help your relationship? Fruitfulness (John 15:4-5) The picture of “bearing fruit” may cover many aspects of Christian life but it includes that of developing Christian character, effective Christian service and mission. These result, not from human effort, but from abiding in Christ. Answered Prayer (John 15:16) Freedom from persistent sin (1 John 3:6-9) Relationship with God (John 14:23) Confidence in the last day (1 John 2:28) “It is only into the thirst of an empty soul that the streams of living waters flow. Ever thirsting is the secret of never thirsting.”  Andrew Murray  
Sep 21, 2018
The cost of freedom - statement #3 from Jesus
11:35
Follow Him  John 1:43 (Part 1 - the critical importance of intimacy with Jesus) “The next day Jesus decided to go to Galilee.  He found Philip and said to him, ‘Come, follow me.’” Our theme so far has been to not just believe, but obey.  To respond and don’t waste time doing what Jesus desires most.  That is where we find freedom. Today is about the cost of following Jesus Your family (Matthew 10:37-38) Your own life (Luke 14:26-27) Your pride (Mark 8:34) In essence, it will cost you anything you value more than Jesus. We must accept and follow Jesus’ leadership, command and guidance. How does this help your relationship? Freedom. When Jesus is #1, you can’t help but react to that person who matters most to you in a fruit of the spirit! “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Galatians 5:22-23 “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Mark Twain  
Sep 20, 2018