Reba Riley is a blogger, artist, and healer. She travels the world speaking about transformation, courage, health, and healing. Her book, Post Traumatic Church Syndrome: A Memoir of Humor and Healing, is the topic of discussion in this episode. You will be moved and inspired by Reba’s story. As it turns out, kindness, love, and bravery really are some of the most powerful forces to harness for healing and hope and that’s what she discovered as she explored 30 religions before she turned 30 and battled a deep depression in the years following.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Reba Riley and I Discuss Post Traumatic Church Syndrome, and …

• Her book, Post Traumatic Church Syndrome: A Memoir of Humor and Healing
• Her chronic illness
• Facing her anger and bitterness
• 30 religions before she turned 30
• Life being grey when religions answers are often black and white
• That love is bigger than everything
• Love healing us and bringing us together
• Her mothers love through her journey
• That wherever she found love (in the 30 religions) she found God
• How love and forgiveness have to start in each of us
• Looking past beliefs and differences and judgments to find the love that exists
• If love rolled up her sleeves and put on her work boots, kindness is what would happen
• Kindness is the action, the outpouring, the verb – of love
• Kindness is love made visible
• Her battle with dark, debilitating depression
• Feeling like she had no reason to do anything, no will to live
• Using kindness to battle depression
• How she did 5000 random acts of kindness over 18 months and it saved her life
• The story she hasn’t told anywhere else about her relapse of depression 
• The alchemy of kindness to transform your pain
• Couraging = brave as a verb

Reba Riley Links:

rebariley.com

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Peloton: Wondering if a Peloton bike is right for you? You can get a free 30 day home trial and find out. If you’re looking for a new way to get your cardio in, the Peloton bike is a great solution. Visit onepeloton.com and enter Promo code “WOLF” to get $100 off of accessories with the purchase of a bike, and a free 30 day home trial.

Nimble: Get great electronics you can feel really good about. Nimble makes premium, everyday tech products (like portable chargers, wireless chargers, protective phone cases and more). They use only sustainable materials, work with ethical factories, and ship in 100% plastic-free packaging. They’ll recycle your old electronics, too. To get 25% off your first Nimble order, go to  www.gonimble.com/wolf and enter promo code WOLF

The Great Courses Plus: Learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get one month for free at  www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

Ideas are coming at you every day from all directions. How can you process it all? You can start with The Next Big Idea. Host Rufus Griscom and legendary thought leaders Malcolm Gladwell, Adam Grant, Dan Pink, and Susan Cain, will be your personal “idea” curators. Open your mind and get ready for something big, because the right idea--at the right moment--has the power to transform your life. Listen now at http://wondery.fm/TNBIWondery

 

Robin Hanson is an Associate Professor of Economics at George Mason University and a Research Associate at the Future of Humanity Institute of Oxford University. His book, The Elephant In The Brain: Hidden Motives In Everyday Life, is what he and Eric discuss in this episode. They explore topics like motives, perspective, the left brain interpreter and so much more as it relates to human behavior. This episode will give you a lot of insight into yourself and others.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Robin Hanson and I Discuss Motives, Human Behavior, and …

• His book, The Elephant In The Brain: Hidden Motives In Everyday Life
• How often, we keep our true motives hidden from others
• That we also keep our true motives hidden from ourselves
• Modularity
• The things happening at a conscious as well as an unconscious level
• The left brain interpreter being like a press secretary
• Needing to tell a story about our motives
• Questioning whether or not you know the motives of others
• That we have multiple motives for doing things
• Understand others and then assume you’re a lot like them
• Cynicism and Misanthropy
• Perspective
• The evolution to protect ourselves from each other
• The need to have others like us and think well of us
• Obliviation
• What if others couldn’t see what you bought – that their opinion of you wouldn’t change because of what you bought – how would that change what you’d buy?
• That we pay a lot for variety
• Proximate and distal causes
• That evolution designed us to be relatively unaware of our motives – so why is it good to know about them?

Robin Hanson Links:

elephantinthebrain.com

overcomingbias.com

Twitter

Ted Talk

Westin – their reason for being is to help you travel well – eat well, move well and sleep well. Welcome to wellness. Explore at Westin.com

The Great Courses Plus – learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get one month for free at  www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

Talkspace:  the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get $65 off your first month.

Charlie Gilkey is the author of Start Finishing: How To Go From Idea To Done. An Army veteran and near Ph.D. in philosophy, Charlie is the founder of Productive Flourishing, a company that helps professional creatives, leaders, and change-makers take meaningful action on work matters. He’s widely cited in outlets such as Inc. Magazine, Time, Forbes, The Guardian, Life Hacker and more and his work will help you discover the path from the ideas in your head to the actions you take in your daily life and the way you live out your values – and most importantly how to go about getting things done.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Charlie Gilkey and I Discuss Getting Things Done and …

• His book, Start Finishing: How To Go From Idea To Done
• How kindness towards others often brings out the best in everyone
• The Tao Te Ching
• Focusing on your input and letting go of the results
• Why finishing is so important
• That we only get mastery from finishing things, not halfway doing them
• We don’t just improve by thinking about things, we improve by doing them
• Creative constipation breeds toxicity 
• We’re either creating something or destroying something
• We don’t do ideas, we do projects
• How it feels good to think about our ideas
• How doing our best work is often really hard
• The myth: if it’s meant to be for us, it’s supposed to be easy
• That when you start something you’re not as good at it as you want to be and it takes time to and effort to get better
• The myth that if it doesn’t come easy for you, you shouldn’t do it
• Doing something until you’re good enough at it to decide whether or not you want to continue doing it
• The 5 things that get in the way of doing our best work
• Head Trash: Doesn’t matter if a thought is true or not – it matters if we believe it or not
• The problem with automatically believing our thoughts
• How discipline limits decision fatigue
• Action expresses priority
• Being sick isn’t a character defect – how you respond to it matters
• That big life changes take life force and energy in order for us to respond to and deal with them and that’s life force that we can’t put towards other things – and that’s ok

Charlie Gilkey Links:

productiveflourishing.com

Twitter

Facebook

EverlyWell: Offers more than 35 at-home lab tests with super easy to follow instructions. Results are processed in a certified lab and reviewed by board-certified physicians and are then sent directly to you within days. The EverlyWell digital platform helps break down exactly what your results mean for you plus you can also set up a free discussion with a healthcare professional to discuss them. To start learning more about your health, go to everlywell.com/wolf and enter promo code WOLF for 15% off your test

Phlur – Eric created his own sampler set that you can try! Get this curated sampler set or create your own. Get 20% off your first 3 Phlur samples at Phlur.com/wolf

Calm: The #1 rated app for meditation. They have meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with may One You Feed Guests. www.calm.com/wolf 25% off a Calm Premium Subscription

If you enjoyed this conversation with Charlie Gilkey on getting things done, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Chris Bailey

David Kadavy

Tim Pychyl

Mark Henick has appeared in hundreds of television segments and countless more radio, print and online features about mental health. Mark’s TedTalk, “Why We Choose Suicide”, is among the most-watched in the world with over 6 million views. In this episode, he tells Eric about his experience with attempts at suicide, relapsing depression and getting skillful with finding meaning and living his life. This isn’t just a broad discussion on suicide and depression – there are real, practical techniques and approaches that can be applied to life today, no matter your circumstances, to create meaning, fulfillment, and yes, even joy. 

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Mark Henick and I Discuss Suicide, Depression, and…

• The duality of life and death
• Mental Health and Suicide
• His suicidality at 12 years old
• The message he got that he couldn’t talk about suicide
• The complete stranger who saved him from jumping from a bridge at night – physically holding on to him
• His realization that he didn’t have to be the suffering boy he was, he could be the stranger that helped him…that his life could be different
• The myth that if you talk about suicide it will give people the idea to do it
• The right way and wrong way to talk about suicide and depression
• How freeing it is to talk about something
• When others told him they could relate to his story of suicide and depression
• His recovery through a newfound sense of purpose
• The healthier relationships he pursued
• Getting clear about boundaries
• The toxic masculinity he was surrounded by as a child
• Not having the language to express the feelings he had
• The perceptual field and increasing your options by getting uncomfortable.
• How depression limits the options you can see 
• Broadening of perception and expansion as a part of awakening
• Something good can come from most painful situations; It’s in the lens you take and the work that you do.
• His depression and social anxiety disorder
• The danger in an avoidant coping strategy as well as the flaws of perfectionism.
• Realizing the cross you bear can change into meaning and how to turn your struggle into something good.
• Getting good at re-lapsing with his depression
• His misguided thought that he was failing at getting better
• Learning to trust himself AND learning not to believe every one of his thoughts
• The truth: This too shall pass (the more you cling to it the longer it takes to pass)
• How depression hates a moving target

Mark Henick Links:

markhenick.com

Ted Talk: “Why We Choose Suicide”

Twitter

Facebook

Talkspace:  the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get 65% off your first month.

Daily Harvest – Delivers absolutely delicious organic, carefully sourced, chef-created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more. To get $25 off your first box go to www.dailyharvest.com and enter promo code: FEED

This mini episode is about the tactical and emotional aspects of changing behavior.  

Sarah Shockley is a multiple award-winning producer and director of educational films including Dancing From the Inside Out, a highly acclaimed documentary on disabled dance. Sarah is the author of a number of books on living with chronic pain, including the one discussed in this episode, The Pain Companion: Everyday Wisdom for Living with and Moving Beyond Chronic Pain.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Sarah Shockley and I Discuss Living with Chronic Pain and…

• Her book, The Pain Companion: Everyday Wisdom for Living with and Moving Beyond Chronic Pain
• How it’s hard for us to heal when we’re in a battle with pain
• The good wolf aspect of pain
• Feeding into healing vs feeding in living with chronic pain
• Her experience with debilitating pain
• The many components of chronic pain – in addition to the physical component
• How isolating chronic pain can be 
• Chronic emotional pain
• Seeing pain differently
• Turning towards pain and asking it, “What could positively be your positive purpose here?”
• What you resist persists
• Becoming partners with your pain
• Thinking of pain as the voice of something within you that wants to be healed
• Creating a different relationship with pain
• We lock pain in place when we get into a resistant mode
• Giving pain a lot of space
• Breathing into the pain
• The messages that pain brought her
• Asking pain, “What do you need?”
• How her life has been transformed by changing her relationship and experience with chronic pain
• That she wrote the book she wished she had been given in the midst of her struggle with pain
• That being seen in your pain can be the beginning of healing
• Living with chronic pain and what she imagined her pain looking like

Sarah Shockley Links:

thepaincompanion.com

Facebook

YouTube

DoorDash – Don’t worry about dinner, let dinner come to you with DoorDash. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code WOLF

The Great Courses Plus – learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get 3 months of unlimited access to their entire library for just $30. www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

If you enjoyed this conversation with Sarah Shockley on living with chronic pain, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Toni Bernhard

Michael Galinsky

Eric Kaufmann guides leaders to make better decisions and achieve better results. He has consulted for hundreds of leaders including executives and team leaders at Sony, TMobile, Genentec and Alcon Labs just to name a few. He is the founder of Sagatica Inc and he serves on the board of the San Diego Zen Center. In this episode, he and Eric discuss his work of teaching conscious leadership in the workplace.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Eric Kaufmann and I Discuss…

• How he interacts with his shadow side
• The key to not making a situation worse
• His practice of refrain and return
• Conscious leadership
• Unrelenting commitment to results with an unwavering regard for spirit
• What someone says they want vs what they need
• The courage it takes to say no
• The 3 building blocks of our egoic state
• The 3 pillars of being a conscious person
• Wisdom = mistakes + time
• Wisdom = Seeing below the surface and beyond the obvious
• That being wise means being present and aware
• How cultivating wisdom is a practice and how humor cultivates wisdom.
• Courage is walking toward what you want to walk away from
• Have the courage to Speak Up, Care, Commit
• How sarcasm can be a mask of fear
• Bringing the weird
• How it takes energy to withhold
• Love is wanting to do well for others
• Love is expansive, inclusive, and connective
• The things that get in the way of love

Eric Kaufmann Links:

sagatica.com

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Calm app – Reduce your anxiety and stress and help you sleep better. Meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with many One You Feed Guests. Visit www.calm.com/wolf for 25% off a Calm Premium Subscription

The Great Courses Plus – learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get 3 months of unlimited access to their entire library for just $30. www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

Brent Williams suffered for a long time from depression and anxiety and during that time he kept a journal about his thoughts, feelings, and experiences. That journal has now been turned in to a beautiful graphic novel called, Out Of The Woods: A Journey Through Depression and Anxiety. In this episode, Brent and Eric use his story as a jumping-off point to discuss how depression can show up in your life and how you can realistically, practically, and effectively find your way out of it.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Brent Williams and I Discuss…

• His book, Out Of The Woods: A Journey Through Depression and Anxiety
• How subtle depression can be in your life – permeating everything 
• All the things he went to as a diagnosis before he admitted it was depression he was suffering from
• His resistance to taking depression medication
• How he watched his father take medication for anxiety and how it changed him
• His resistance to taking help from others
• His experience in therapy
• The metaphor of depression medication being a life preserver but you still have to swim back to shore
• The components of self-care: eat well, exercise, be with people, be outside, get support, stop ruminating, proper sleep
• How fundamental good nutrition is when it comes to mental well being
• Doing small and manageable things when you’re depressed
• How the reward mechanism in your brain isn’t working properly when you’re depressed
• How it took him a while to find the right therapist 
• The potential danger of meditating when depressed
• That mindfulness meditation was the form of meditating that helped him most
• The impact of keeping a mood chart – seeing a pattern that you can’t see at the time
• That sometimes you just have to push yourself over the hurdle of doing things that are good for you when you don’t feel like doing them
• Looking at your activities to assess your mental wellbeing
• Depression showing up as irritability in men

Brent Williams Links:

outofthewoods.co.nz **Special Offer** for The One You Feed listeners! Buy 1 Book, Get 1 Free to give to a friend, family member or a community center!

Facebook

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Phlur – Eric created his own sampler set that you can try! Get this curated sampler set or create your own. Get 20% off your first 3 Phlur samples at Phlur.com/wolf

FabFitFun – A women’s lifestyle subscription box filled with full-size premium items that you will love. Eric’s girlfriend is honestly obsessed because the items in this box are just so good. Give yourself this gift – use the promo code FEED for $10 off your first box at fabfitfun.com

Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, and an internationally recognized leader in the field of couple interventions. She is founding Director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) and Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant University in San Diego, California, as well as Professor Emeritus, Clinical Psychology, at the University of Ottawa, Canada. In this interview, Dr. Sue Johnson discuss her best selling book, “Hold Me Tight: 7 Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” and her groundbreaking research of helping couples to enhance, repair, and keep their relationship.  

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Dr. Sue Johnson and I Discuss…

• Her book, Hold Me Tight: 7 Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
• The wolf parable and how therapists act as the third wolf for couples.
• Relationships are often stuck in fear and anger
• Emotional disconnection causes distress in relationships.
• Humans are wired for close connection with others.
• Attachment needs continue into adulthood, most notably in romantic relationships.
• Common conversations in distressed relationships are known as “demon dialogues”.
• Relationships stuck in predictable patterns is referred to as the “Protest Polka”.
• “Freeze and Flee”means one person gives up on the relationship. 
• “Find the Bad Guy” in other words, It’s not me, it’s you” 
• Understanding the circle of criticism, or the “dance” you’re stuck in.
• Learning to blame this “dance” rather than each other.  
• The “hold me tight conversation” that creates safety in the relationship.
• Understanding the negative cycle that causes disconnection.
• Creating a positive cycle by creating a secure bond
• “ARE” – Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement.
• Talking about fears rather than acting on them leads to bonding.
• Emotional connection in a relationship is a source of joy and strength.

Dr. Sue Johnson Links:

drsuejohnson.com

Twitter

Facebook

TalkSpace – the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get 65% off your first month.

DoorDash – Don’t worry about dinner, let dinner come to you with DoorDash. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code WOLF

Westin – their reason for being is to help you travel well – eat well, move well and sleep well. Welcome to wellness. Explore at Westin.com

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer, speaker, and host of the weekly Psych Central show who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders. His new book, Mental Illness Is an A-Hole – And Other Observations, is what he and Eric discuss in this episode. You’ll be captivated by Gabe’s story as he tells it – it’s compelling, relatable, inspiring, and educational. Whether or not you have bipolar disorder or another mental illness, chances are you know someone or some people who do and so this is an important episode to listen to – you’ll deepen your understanding of what it means to live with mental illness. 

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Gabe Howard and I Discuss…

• His book, Mental Illness Is an A-Hole – And Other Observations
• What bipolar disorder is (and isn’t) and how it shows up in his life
• His compelling story
• The myth that people with mental illness come from bad families
• When he went to the ER because of suicidal thoughts
• How he defines recovery: spending more time living life than managing his bipolar disorder
• The 4 years he spent in a battle with his mental illness
• How you have to learn what works for you – and how that takes time
• The role of medication in the treatment of mental illness
• How it stings when your body lets you down
• Eric’s experience taking and not taking medication for his depression
• Whole health wellness
• Suicide
• Don’t choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem
• How suicide doesn’t end the pain – it transfers it to someone else

Gabe Howard Links:

gabehoward.com

Twitter

Facebook

Hi Everyone!

Here is a mini episode that was made for our Patreon members called A Teaching, a Song, and a Poem (and sometimes a bad joke!)

Teaching: We Can Always Grow and Change

Poem: The Trees- Philip Larkin

Song: Tomorrow- James 

If you'd like to get one of these every week, you can become a member of our community by going to oneyoufeed.net/join

By supporting and joining The One You Feed Community, you'll get access to:

• A Teaching, a Song, and a Poem mini episodes
• Post Show Conversations
• Ad Free Episodes
• and more!

Your support is greatly appreciated!

Lauren Zander is a life coach, university lecturer, public speaker and co-founder and chairwoman of The Handel Group. Her book, Maybe It's You: Cut the Crap. Face Your Fears. Love Your Life is what she and Eric discuss in this episode. Lauren has an incredibly useful approach to uncovering your limiting inner dialogue so that you can truly catapult yourself forward in life. 

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait - there's more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It's that simple and we'll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Lauren Zander and I Discuss...

• Her book, Maybe It's You: Cut the Crap. Face Your Fears. Love Your Life.
• Getting conscious of the unconscious parts of yourself
• Her life-changing moment at 19
• How much of what is plaguing a person is in their inner dialogue
• The strategist in your head
• That over 80% of our thoughts are negative and repeating from the day before
• The chicken, the brat, the weather reporter
• Keeping promises to yourself
• Integrity and spirituality
• Consequences
• Accountability

Lauren Zander Links:

handelgroup.com

Twitter

Facebook

FabFitFun: FabFitFun is a seasonal subscription box delivered 4 times a year with full-sized beauty, fashion, home, fitness, and wellness products for just $49.99 a box - though the box is valued at more than $200. Eric's girlfriend is honestly obsessed. You don't want to miss the upcoming fall box. Use the code FEED to get $10 off your first box www.fabfitfun.com

Westin - their reason for being is to help you travel well - eat well, move well and sleep well. Welcome to wellness. Explore at Westin.com

Father Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to the universal awakening within Christian mysticism and the Perennial Tradition. He’s a Franciscan priest in the New Mexico Provence and the founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation in Albuquerque. In this episode, Eric and Father Richard discuss his most recent book, The Universal Christ: How a Forgotten Reality Can Change Everything We See, Hope For, and Believe.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Father Richard Rohr and I Discuss…

• His book, The Universal Christ: How a Forgotten Reality Can Change Everything We See, Hope For, and Believe
• What the word “Christ” means for him
• How God loves things by becoming them, by uniting with them
• That a mature Christian sees Christ in everything and everyone else
• The notion of God IN all things vs God IS all things
• How Christ is a stand-in for everything
• Focusing on the death of Christ and missing the life of Christ
• When God hides his face
• The difference between spiritual darkness and depression
• A loss of the feeling of faith in God isn’t the same thing as a loss of faith in God
• How distraction doesn’t make you happy
• God uses 3 things to draw us out of ourselves: goodness, truth and beauty
• Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful
• How God uses evil for your transformation
• That Jesus punishes nobody
• When you return in kind – like Michael and the dragon – you become the dragon
• The 2 virtues you need to move forward on the spiritual path: humility and honesty

Father Richard Rohr Links:

Center for Action and Contemplation

Twitter

Facebook

Westin – their reason for being is to help you travel well – eat well, move well and sleep well. Welcome to wellness. Explore at Westin.com

Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com/wolf and use promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set

DoorDash – Don’t worry about dinner, let dinner come to you with DoorDash. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code WOLF

If you liked this episode with Father Richard Rohr, you might also enjoy listening to these earlier interviews:

Richard Rohr – Part 1 (2017)

Richard Rohr – Part 2 (2017)

Maia Szalavitz is an American reporter and author who has focused much of her work on the topic of addiction. She is the co-author of Born for Love and The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, both with Dr. Bruce D. Perry. Her latest book is Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction  

In this paradigm-shifting interview, Maia Szalavitz explains that addiction is a learning disorder, a developmental disorder, which is a different way of thinking of addiction than it being a disease or a moral failing.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Maia Szalavitz and I Discuss…

• Her book,  Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction
• That your brain becomes what it does – that the more you repeat an activity, the easier it becomes
• How addiction is a developmental disorder and how learning is critical to addiction
• The problems with discussion about addiction as a disease
• Arguing that addiction is a disease and then treating it like a moral failing
• Addiction resets your priorities and causes one to make different decisions
• Addiction = compulsive behavior that continues despite negative consequences
• How illogical it is then to try and address addiction by focusing on implementing additional negative consequences
• The complexity of addiction, genes + culture + timing
• The developmental history that gets you to addiction
• How the drug isn’t the problem and our efforts to get rid of it isn’t a helpful solution
• Addiction as a learning disorder that is characterized by a resistance to punishment
• The problem with “rock bottom” is it’s not helpful scientifically, and it implies a moral component of having to reach a point of extreme degradation before you can stop.
• What the motivation is that turns people to recovery
• How addicts keep using because they can’t see how they can survive any other way
• Recovery begins when you start to see that there are other options
• People with addiction are living at a point of learned helplessness
• The role of hope and other ways of managing their life
• Addiction as a coping mechanism
• The pleasures of the hunt vs the pleasures of the feast
• Wanting vs Liking
• Different motivational states
• Addiction as escalating wanting
• Stimulants and chasing that satisfaction
• The effectiveness and usefulness of 12 Step Programs
• The role of medicine in a developmental disorder
• Looking at addicts as students who need to learn better coping skills rather than sinners who need to be forced to repent.

Maia Szalavitz Links:

maiasz.com

Twitter 

Calm app – Reduce your anxiety and stress and help you sleep better. Meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with many One You Feed Guests. Visit www.calm.com/wolf for 25% off a Calm Premium Subscription

Peloton – Looking for a new way to get your cardio in? The Peloton bike will make you rethink the way you look at cycling classes!  Visit onepeloton.com and enter Promo code “WOLF” to get $100 off of accessories with purchase of a bike.  

Westin – Westin resorts have wellness offerings that are curated just for you to help you eat, move and sleep well. Explore at westin.com

If you enjoyed this conversation with Maia Szalavitz, you might also enjoy these other episodes!

Dr. Gabor Mate’

Judson Brewer

Hal Gregersen is the Executive Director of the Leadership Center at MIT. He is a prolific author and motivational speaker recognized by Thinkers 500 as one of the World’s 50 Most Innovative Minds. In this episode, Eric and Hal discuss his book, Questions are the Answer: A Breakthrough Approach to Your Most Vexing Problems at Work and in Life. 

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Hal Gregersen and I Discuss…

• His book, Questions are the Answer: A Breakthrough Approach to Your Most Vexing Problems at Work and in Life
• That whether we know it or not, we’re all living questions
• Keystone questions
• Shadow questions
• How he discovered his questions
• The heart attack that changed his life
• His shadow questions
• Asking better questions
• Competing Commitments
• Underlying assumptions
• Alexander Papaderos
• How if you want better answers, you’ve got to ask better questions
• That if you feel stuck you’re probably asking the wrong question
• Brainstorming questions without answering them
• Why we don’t ask good questions
• Catalytic questions that challenge false assumptions
• How wanting to be right and smart stops us from getting to better questions
• What if you woke up and asked, what am I dead wrong about today?
• That if you’re not making big enough mistakes, you’re not trying hard enough
• The danger of moving into smaller and smaller tribes that are founded on being right
• Actively seeking passive data – observing and listening
• The power of the pause
• Listening to understand vs listening to defend
• How can I find and reflect the light in you?

Hal Gregersen Links:

halgregersen.com

Twitter

Daily Harvest – they deliver absolutely delicious organic, carefully sourced, chef-created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more to get 3 cups free in your first box. Visit www.dailyharvest.com and enter promo code: FEED

TalkSpace – the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get 65% off your first month.

The Upper Room – a global ministry where you can join a worldwide community of Christian believers in daily prayer and devotional practice. Go to www.upperroom.org/welcome to get a free 30-day trial

If you enjoyed this conversation with Hal Gregersen, you might also enjoy these other episodes!

John Zertasky

Skip Prichard

Eric Tivers is a licensed clinical social worker, coach, podcaster, speaker, consultant, and entrepreneur. He specializes in ADHD and has worked extensively with individuals on the autism spectrum. His podcast is ADHD reWired and in this episode, Eric and Eric talk about the experience of being an Adult with ADHD.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Eric Tivers and I Discuss…

• How he separates “mind” and “brain”
• ADHD in Adults
• Impulsivity and Hyperactivity
• Inattention and Distractability
• How people with ADHD aren’t lazy – according to brain scans
• The diagnostic criteria for ADHD
• The multimodal treatment approach for ADHD
• His experience with Adderall
• The lie of “I’ll remember that”
• Time wisdom
• The importance of Exercise, Sleep 
• Separate decision from action
• The wisdom in flipping a coin
• A disorder of self-regulation
• Accountability
• The anatomy of a to-do list
• Vision verbing
• Why cue
• Life on hard mode – but we can do hard things

Eric Tivers Links:

ADHDreWired.com

Twitter

Facebook

YouTube

Blinkist – Do you have an ever-growing list of books to read? Blinkist can help! With thousands of non-fiction books distilled down to their most salient points that you can consume in 15 minutes or less go to www.blinkist.com/wolf for a 7-day free trial.

Cindy Stulberg is an internationally respected psychologist and is the Director of The Institute of Interpersonal Psychotherapy which provides psychological assessment and counseling for individuals and couples, groups and families and has done so for the past 35 years. In this episode, Cindy and Eric discuss her book, Feeling Better: Beat Depression and Improve Your Relationships with Interpersonal Psychotherapy.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Cindy Stulberg and I Discuss…

• Her book, Feeling Better: Beat Depression and Improve Your Relationships with Interpersonal Psychotherapy 
• That your relationships hold the key to your happiness
• Interpersonal Psychotherapy
• The areas of life that trigger a depressive episode
• Drawing your social circle and asking questions about them
• How to build your social circle
• Conversation starters
• The difference between feelings and moods
• Questions for emotional enlightenment
• Getting input from others when looking to do things differently for them to make things better
• Paying attention to how you feel 
• The question: What’s the best, worst and most likely outcome?
• Linking rigid expectations to happiness
• How you can’t expect 1 person to meet all your needs

Cindy Stulberg Links:

The Institute of Interpersonal Psychotherapy

Twitter

Facebook

Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there www.phlur.com/wolf and use promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set

Quip – Comes in an easy carrying case making it a great portable electric toothbrush – with timed settings to make brushing easy. It starts at just $25. Go to www.getquip.com/wolf to get your first refill pack for free

The Upper Room – a global ministry where you can join a worldwide community of Christian believers in daily prayer and devotional practice. Go to www.upperroom.org/welcome to get a free 30-day trial

If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Amy Banks

Eric Maisel

Claire Booth is an entrepreneur, author, and speaker. She’s the founder and CEO of the market research firm Lux Insights with two decades of experience serving some of the worlds most recognized brands. In this episode, Eric and Claire discuss her book, The Achiever Fever Cure: How I Learned to Stop Striving Myself Crazy.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Claire Booth and I Discuss…

• Her book, The Achiever Fever Cure: How I Learned to Stop Striving Myself Crazy
• Her experience of learning to love her bad wolf
• Keeping her inner house clean
• The anxiety, depression, and insomnia that came with her constant achieving
• The difference between achiever fever and achieving
• I’ll be happy when…
• The craving mindset of achieving
• How every leader in her business has a coach
• The importance of a coach
• The questions we ask ourselves, the stories we tell ourselves – that we need someone to poke holes in them
• Her inner critic – the judge
• The left brain interpreter 
• Checking your thoughts for truth
• Asking if your thought could be defended 100% in a court of law
• Asking yourself, who would I be without that thought?
• Cognitive Bias
• Asking yourself “Would my life be better if I wasn’t drinking?”
• The feeling of worry
• How she is able to let go of worry

Claire Booth Links:

www.clairebooth.com

Twitter

Facebook

Goodreads

Calm app – Reduce your anxiety and stress and help you sleep better. Meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with many One You Feed Guests. Visit www.calm.com/wolf for 25% off a Calm Premium Subscription.

Peloton – Looking for a new way to get your cardio in? The Peloton bike will make you rethink the way you look at cycling classes!  Visit onepeloton.com and enter Promo code “WOLF” to get $100 off of accessories with purchase of a bike.  

Adyashanti is an American born spiritual teacher devoted to serving the awakening of all beings. His teachings are an open invitation to stop, inquire and recognize what is true and liberating at the core of all existence. Adyashanti also runs the Omega retreat which Eric has taken part in many times. In this episode, part 2 of a 2 part interview, Eric and Adya continue their conversation about his latest book, The Most Important Thing: Discovering Truth at the Heart of Life.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss…

• How his relationship to his wife has become more of a mystery over their 23 years together
• The role of play and being silly
• How our spiritual striving can get in the way – in meditation, specifically
• How meditation is the relinquishing of an agenda
• The way we engage with the mystery of being
• The curiosity that was sparked when he realized he was a mystery unto himself
• That spirituality is an experiential encounter with the unknown
• The paradox we’re embracing with meditation
• Start meditation by listening to the quiet spaces inside, let go of trying to control what’s happening in your mind
• When you realize you’re lost in thought during meditation, kindly and gently encourage your attention back to your meditation anchor or listening
• Observe your relationship with failure – or things going some other way than the way you want them to – during meditation
• Gratitude for popping out of the dream or trance state 
• Encountering life attitudes during meditation
• Spiritual insight during real life – what do you value at any given moment?
• Chasing a spiritual high
• Asking “what am I in service to?”
• Not having to have the feeling in order to engage in right action

Adyshanti Links:

adyashanti.org

Twitter

Facebook

Instagram

The Upper Room – a global ministry where you can join a worldwide community of Christian believers in daily prayer and devotional practice. Go to www.upperroom.org/welcome to get a free 30-day trial

TalkSpace – the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get your first week free!

If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Adyashanti (Part 1) 2018

Adyashanti (Part 2) 2018

Adyashanti (2017)

Adyashanti is an American born spiritual teacher devoted to serving the awakening of all beings. His teachings are an open invitation to stop, inquire and recognize what is true and liberating at the core of all existence. Adyashanti also runs the Omega retreat which Eric has taken part in many times. In this episode, Eric and Adya talk about his latest book, The Most Important Thing: Discovering Truth at the Heart of Life.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss…

• His book, The Most Important Thing: Discovering Truth at the Heart of Life
• Attention and Intention
• The inquiry at any given time: Where are we giving our attention to?
• Considering the question: What is worthwhile orienting your life around?
• The limitations that come with aging 
• How the definition of happiness changes as we age
• Wholeness of being
• Life as it is rather than the image of life
• Two interpretations of the fact that sometimes those who are the most unhappy tend to be seeking happiness the most
• Shooting for meaning rather than happiness
• How meaning is an experience of being
• The inquiry: What am I in service to?
• That we don’t seem to do well as human beings when we live exclusively for ourselves
• What does it mean to really serve what you realize (rather than trying to realize more and more)
• The mistaken thinking that an act of service must be grand in scale or scope or must be visible to really count or matter
• How it’s easy to be noble when you are noticed but in most of our lives that’s not what’s taking place
• That giving time and attention when someone needs it can make for transformative moments
• Seeing the importance of the things you do in your life now that are in service
• That you can’t make yourself awaken but what you do DOES have an impact – it’s just indirect
• The yearning itself comes from the very thing we’re yearning for (in terms of awakening)

Adyshanti Links:

adyashanti.org

Twitter

Facebook

Instagram

Daily Harvest – they deliver absolutely delicious organic, carefully sourced, chef-created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more! To get 3 cups free in your first box, visit www.daily-harvest.com and enter promo code: FEED

FabFitFun is a seasonal subscription box delivered 4 times a year with full-sized beauty, fashion, home, fitness, and wellness products for just $49.99 a box – though the box is valued at more than $200. The summer box is valued at over $400! Eric’s girlfriend absolutely loved the box they sent and has already signed up to receive their fall box. Use the code FEED to get $10 off your first box at www.fabfitfun.com

Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com and enter promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set

If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Adyashanti (Part 1) 2018

Adyashanti (Part 2) 2018

Donna Hylton is a women’s rights activist and criminal justice reform advocate. Donna speaks publicly about the issues facing incarcerated women and girls and the significant impact the significant increase in the female prison population is having on families, children and our communities.  Her book,  “A Little Piece of Light: A Memoir of Hope, Prison, and a Life Unbound” tells the story of the childhood abuse she endured, the spiral of events that lead to her incarceration and how she learned to live, love and trust all over again. In this episode, Donna shares some deeply personal stories of her traumatic past and how she found her voice to help other victims of violence and abuse.   

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Donna Hylton and I Discuss…

• Her book, “A Little Piece of Light: A Memoir of Hope, Prison, and a Life Unbound”
• Navigating the good times and bad times of her early childhood.
• Finding the courage to ask for help.
• How she ran track in high school as a way to “run away”
• How we must talk about these painful stories to get to the root causes.
• How dealing with trauma does something to our psyche. 
• Believing we don’t have value can be reinforced by those around you.
• Dealing with the difficult relationship with her daughter, who was the result of rape 
• Years of therapy and healing helped find that place of light inside herself. 
• How talking about the trauma releases the pain instead of holding on to it.  
• How we need to face the trauma, try to understand it and then try to stop it.
• When you’re young, you believe that what happens around you is your fault and therefore often make the same mistakes because you don’t know how to rationalize what is happening.   
• How she became a wounded healer.
• How she started healing and forgiving herself when she went to prison.  
• How she became an advocate for the sick women in prison after losing a close friend.
• Realizing she could no longer stand by or stay silent when something bad happened to others.
• How she helped bring counseling, educational and other care programs into the prison system.
• Saying goodbye to the little girl inside who was silent
• Embracing the little girl inside who found her voice
• We are not the worst moment in our lives, we’re not our mistakes
• We are human beings who have been through something
• Being part of the newly passed Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act (DVSJA) which considers alternative sentencing or intervention for those convicted who have been victims of severe abuse.
• When a body is put under pressure, it’s going to react and do whatever it takes to survive
• Her source of unconditional love and truth, Sister Mary, who helped her to become the activist she is today.
• How “we can connect deeply with humanity if we look through the eyes of love and compassion”
• We were created in love and beauty is all around us if we can just recognize it.  

Peloton – Looking for a new way to get in your cardio? The Peloton bike will make you rethink the way you look at cycling classes!  Visit onepeloton.com and enter Promo code “WOLF” to get $100 off of accessories with purchase of a bike!

The Upper Room – a global ministry where you can join a worldwide community of Christian believers in daily prayer and devotional practice. Go to www.upperroom.org/welcome to get a free 30-day trial.

David Kadavy is a best selling author, blogger, podcaster and speaker. Through his blogging and podcasting, he helps people find satisfaction through following their crafts even if it takes them down an unconventional path. His book, The Heart to Start: Stop Procrastinating and Start Creating, is what he and Eric discuss in this episode. If you ever struggle with procrastination, you’ll find this episode helpful, informative, inspiring and empowering. There’s some real, practical wisdom here that will enable you to get started with whatever it is that you want to do in your life.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, David Kadavy and I Discuss…

• His book, The Heart to Start: Stop Procrastinating and Start Creating
• How to get started
• The things that stand in the way of us starting
• What it means to be creative, or to create
• The resistance that comes from the ego surrounding getting started
• Motivational Judo
• Tricks to get yourself to just get started
• Give yourself permission to suck
• You can’t do good work without doing bad work first
• Perfection paralysis
• What happens when the scale of a creative project is too big
• Fortress fallacy
• The role of curiosity in getting started
• Balancing exploitation and exploration
• Following your curiosities

David Kadavy Links:

davidkadavy.net

Facebook

Twitter

Calm app – Reduce your anxiety and stress and help you sleep better. Meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with may One You Feed Guests. Visit www.calm.com/wolf for 25% off a Calm Premium Subscription

Capterra – find the right software for your business – read thousands of real software reviews. Capterra is the leading free online resource to find the tools to make an informed software decision for your business. Software selection simplified. Go to www.capterra.com/wolf for free today

Quip – looking for a gift for a dad or a grad? Give them the gift of good oral hygiene made automatic, affordable and easy. Go to www.getquip.com/wolf and get your refill pack for free

If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Tim Pychyl

Tim Urban

Alan Castel, Ph.D. is a professor in the Department of Psychology at The University of California Los Angeles. His research focuses on how cognition changes with age and how people selectively remember important events. His work has been supported by the National Institute on Aging and has been featured in The New York Times and Time Magazine. In this episode, Eric and Alan discuss his book, Better with Age: The Psychology of Successful Aging.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Alan Castel, Ph.D. and I Discuss…

• His book, Better with Age: The Psychology of Successful Aging
• How mindset matters in aging
• Role models in successful aging
• That life can get better with ageSocio-Emotional Selectivity Theory
• The realization that time is finite
• The ways that life can get better the older we get
• What helps prevent cognitive decline
• That older adults often have less regret than younger adult
• How we’re better at focusing on what’s important as we age
• Walking or getting physical exercise (getting blood flow to the brain) is key in preventing cognitive decline
• The importance of balance training when it comes to healthy aging
• How illuminating it is to test your balance
• How helpful it is to be around people who do the things that we’re looking to do in our lives
• The challenges that come with retirement – and how to overcome them
• The middle way as it applies to retirement
• The two most important things in life

Alan Castel, Ph.D. Links:

memory & lifespan cognition lab

google scholar

Netsuite by Oracle – the business software that handles every aspect of your business in an easy to use cloud platform. Get Netsuite’s free guide, 7 Key Strategies to Grow Your Profits, by going to www.netsuite.com/wolf

Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com and enter promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set

The Upper Room – a global ministry where you can join a worldwide community of Christian believers in daily prayer and devotional practice. Go to www.upperroom.org/welcome to get a free 30-day trial.

If you liked this episode, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Jonathan Rauch

Parker J. Palmer

Mary O’Malley is an author, teacher, and counselor whose work awakens others to the joy of being fully alive. Her inspired and transformative approach to compulsions offers a way to replace fear, hopelessness, and struggle with ease, well-being, and joy. Through her individual counseling and coaching, books, classes, retreats, and ongoing groups, Mary invites people to experience the miracle of awakening.

Acknowledged as a leader in the field of Awakening by many Mary clearly sees both the big picture and the details of human patterns and conditioning. She possesses an extraordinary ability to understand and connect with people. And she is skilled in empowering people to work with difficult mind states resulting in greater inner awareness and presence and a greater capacity for joy.  Eckhart Tolle says, “Thank you, Mary, for your contribution to the evolution of human consciousness.”

Her latest book is called What’s In the Way, Is the Way: A Practical Guide to Awakening.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Mary O’Malley and I Discuss…

• The intertwining of good and bad, the yin and yang
• Dealing with eating problems
• How what we fight, we empower
• Creating a relationship with the dark side
• The impact of the early years of our lives
• The conditioned self
• How we are addicted to struggle
• Being present to life instead of thinking our way through life
• The “low-grade suffering” that permeates our lives
• The storyteller in our minds
• The Four Lets
• Learning to not listen so closely to the storyteller in our mind
• The difference between being here for life and being in a conversation about life
• The power of curiosity
• The 8 core spells that we tell ourselves
• Look to Unhook
• The power of human attention to heal
• Sticking with these practices even when it seems to be going slow
• Watching for tightness in yourself as a trigger to let go
• Learning to be here for whatever life presents
• The gift of our compulsions
• Having a set of beliefs that empower us versus take our power away
• Life is set up to bring up what is bound up so we can open up to be freed up so can show up for life
• Not being the victim of life
• Having the ability to come back to the heart

Mary O’Malley Links:

maryomalley.com

twitter

facebook

Ruth Whippman is a regular contributor to radio shows, television, and podcasts, having made appearances on shows including NPR’s Brian Lehrer Show, To the Point, CBS news and Morning Edition amongst many others. She is also a regular speaker and has given talks at Google, Princeton University and UC Berkeley as well as many other venues. Her book is, America the Anxious: How Our Pursuit of Happiness is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks and it is this – along with the flaws of the self help that she and Eric talk about in this episode.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Ruth Whippman and I Discuss...

• Her book, America the Anxious: How Our Pursuit of Happiness is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks
• How many people in the self-help industry are trying to sell easy answers and life is incredibly complex
• Sitting with a certain amount of complexity in life
• The flaws with studies
• The one thing consistent across all research and people’s experience about happiness
• The American tradition of self-reliance
• The victim blaming myth that we’re completely responsible for how we feel
• That circumstances absolutely play a role in our degree of happiness
• What’s behind the positive psychology movement
• How we need to think of well being as a shared responsibility
• That it’s easy to lose compassion when you go too far down the road of “your happiness is completely within your control and completely your responsibility”
• The flaws in The Law of Attraction theory
• How to cope with the anxiety-producing stuff going on in the news
• The importance of social support, community, and connection
• The challenges of social media

Ruth Whippman Links:

ruthwhippman.com

twitter

facebook

instagram

The Great Courses Plus – learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get a free trial with access to their entire library at www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

Netsuite by Oracle – the business software that handles every aspect of your business in an easy to use cloud platform. Get Netsuite’s free guide, 7 Key Strategies to Grow Your Profits, by going to www.netsuite.com/wolf

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Skip Prichard is the fifth president of OCLC, a global library cooperative that supports thousands of libraries in making information more accessible and more useful to people around the world. Among Skip’s many passions is his leadership insights blog where he interviews authors and thought leaders and shares his views on a number of topics. His new book is The Book of Mistakes: 9 Secrets to Creating a Successful Future.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Skip Prichard and I Discuss…

• His book, The Book of Mistakes: 9 Secrets to Creating a Successful Future
• How what you focus on grows
• That he looks at everybody as a teacher
• The riddle that’s perplexed him throughout his life
• Success is when you’re filled with ambition and peace in equal measure at the same time
• The mistake of accepting excuses
• Built-in personal accountability
• How nobody but you can work on your healing
• Ok, that happened – what are you going to do about it
• The microphone in our mind
• Allowing temporary setbacks to become permanent failures
• Having Grit
• The very real pain of failure
• How do you keep going through despair, failure, depression – it’s resilience
• Are you showing up to the people in the room intentionally?

Skip Prichard Links:

www.skipprichard.com

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facebook

Calm app – Reduce your anxiety and stress and help you sleep better. Meditations for anxiety, adult bedtime stories, soothing music, calm masterclasses with may One You Feed Guests. Visit www.calm.com/wolf for 25% off a Calm Premium Subscription

The Great Courses Plus – learn more about virtually any topic – beyond the basics and even master a subject if you want to. Get a free trial with access to their entire library at www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

Quip – Check out the new kid’s Quip! Now the whole family can brush using an affordable and effective Quip toothbrush Go to www.getquip.com/wolf to get your refill pack for free

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Dr. Ellen Hendriksen is a clinical psychologist who helps millions calm their anxiety and be their authentic selves through her award-winning podcast, The Savvy Psychologist, and in the clinic at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. In this episode, she and Eric discuss her debut book is, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. If you suffer from social anxiety, you will learn a lot of practical tools to use to help you overcome it and suffer less.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen and I Discuss…

• Her book, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety
• The positive qualities that often accompany social anxiety in a person
• That the opposite of social anxiety is actually psychopathy
• The neuroscience of social anxiety
• How if you face your fears you can change your brain
• The problematic nature of avoidance when it comes to social anxiety 
• Overt avoidance
• Covert avoidance
• Thinking that the worst case scenario is a foregone conclusion
• Avoidance means we never see what actually happens
• The inner critic
• The buckets that the Inner Critic likes to attack: Appearance, the Signs of Anxiety Themselves, Social Skills, One’s Entire Personality
• Social Anxiety Mad Libs: When I ______, it will become obvious that I _______
• The tool, Replace
• Anxiety is vague – ask, what particular thing are you afraid of?
• 4 Magic Questions: What’s the worst that can happen? How bad is that? What are the odds that the worst case scenario will actually happen? How will I cope?/What will I do?
• The tool, Embrace
• The role of mindfulness in anxiety
• Making your inner world a kinder, more hospitable environment
• Self-compassion
• Creating structure in our social situations – giving yourself a mission to fulfill, a purpose, a goal

Dr. Ellen Hendrisken Links:

ellenhendriksen.com

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Netsuite by Oracle – the business software that handles every aspect of your business in an easy to use cloud platform. Get Netsuite’s free guide, 7 Key Strategies to Grow Your Profits, by going to www.netsuite.com/wolf

Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there www.phlur.com. Enter promo code WOLF to get 20% off your first custom sampler set.

The Upper Room – a global ministry where you can join a worldwide community of Christian believers in daily prayer and devotional practice. Go to www.upperroom.org/welcome to get a free 30-day trial

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Sister Joan Chittister is a Benedictine Sister of Erie, Pennsylvania. She is the author of over 50 books and is the winner of 14 Catholic Press Association Awards. Sister Joan is an international speaker who inspires both her audience and readers with her passion for justice, equality, and peace – especially for women, in both society and the church. In this episode, Eric and Sister Joan discuss her book, Radical Spirit: 12 Ways to Live a Free and Authentic Life.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Sister Joan Chittister and I Discuss…

• Her book, Radical Spirit: 12 Ways to Live a Free and Authentic Life
• How words matter
• That experiences matter
• Humility as the cornerstone of spirituality
• The sanctification of the humble spirit
• Self-superiority in American culture
• Be who you are, know who you are, respect others around you and take your place in the human race
• Humility is having an accurate picture of who you are
• Her take on AA
• How holiness is the same everywhere
• That narcissism is a disease in our culture
• Being willing to face yourself
• How self-deprecation and self-aggrandizement are really the same things
• Not thinking about yourself all the time
• The burden of self
• That we’re looking for freedom
• Obedience as she defines it – it doesn’t mean we submit our souls to an authority figure. It’s grounded in the Latin word which means “to listen”
• How each of us grows into the ability to listen
• Endurance and Stability
• That you can’t rush your own development
• We become to be of service to others
• How nothing of value spiritually comes overnight
• The role of community in one’s great breakdowns in life

Sister Joan Chittister Links:

joanchittister.org

Capterra – find the right software for your business – read thousands of real software reviews. Capterra is the leading free online resource to find the tools to make an informed software decision for your business. Software selection simplified. Go to www.capterra.com/wolf for free today

For Hers makes convenient, affordable access to birth control available for all women. You get access to licensed doctors online who can evaluate you and if appropriate, prescribe you birth control that can be delivered directly to your door. The One You Feed listeners get their first month of For Hers birth control for just $5 (see website for full details) www.forhers.com/wolf

TalkSpace – the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code WOLF to get your first week free

Donna Cameron has spent her career working with non-profit organizations and causes as an executive, consultant, a trainer and a volunteer. She’s the recipient of multiple awards an has published numerous articles. In 2011 she co-authored a book with Kristen Leathers called One Hill, Many Voices: Stories of Hope and Healing. In this interview, Donna and Eric discuss her book, A Year of Living Kindly: Choices That Will Change Your Life and the World Around You. You’ll hear insights into what it means, feels like and looks like to live kindly and your perspective on kindness will be broadened and enriched – possibly even changed – as a result. 

**Spiritual Habits Workshop – Enrollment ends 4/21/19! There’s still time to discover how spiritual habits connect you back to your deepest, truest self. Learn how to put personalized Spiritual Habits to work in your life in a special, one-time program with Eric and a small group of listeners. Click here for more information: thespiritualhabit.com

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Donna Cameron and I Discuss…

• Her book, A Year of Living Kindly: Choices That Will Change Your Life and the World Around You
• That incivility is contagious
• That kindness is contagious
• Listening for the missed note instead of the music
• Playing “Gotcha” in the way you look at life
• The negativity bias
• The power of kindness
• The difference between nice and kind
• Her year of living kindly and blogging about it
• Quantifying the benefits of kindness
• Being indifferent and still being nice
• How you can’t be indifferent and still be kind
• That it takes courage to be kind, it doesn’t take courage to be nice
• Extending yourself beyond what is comfortable
• Caring, making an effort without worrying about getting anything in return
• The chasm between kindness and unkindness
• Not being unkind doesn’t mean that you are being kind
• Keeping score and being kind
• That when we say yes to one thing means we’re saying no to something else
• The health business of kindness
• How kindness alleviates social anxiety
• Employing curiosity instead of judging people – “I wonder what’s going on in their lives?”
• Various kindness practices
• Practicing a pause
• Asking yourself “What is the kind response here?”
• Receiving graciously as an act of kindness
• 
  

Donna Cameron Links:

ayearoflivingkindly.com

Facebook

Twitter

Robinhood is an investing app that allows you to buy and sell stocks, EFTs, Options, and Cryptos all commission free at any level. All it takes to do so is 4 taps in the app on your smartphone so it makes investing easy for beginners and experienced people alike. For The One You Feed listeners, you can get a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help you build your portfolio by going to  youfeed.robinhood.com

Quip has guiding features that are a built-in support system for better brushing and it’s an affordable $25 www.getquip.com/wolf get your first refill pack for free

The Great Courses Plus offers thousands of courses in virtually any topic and you can listen on demand anywhere. Get a FREE trial and lock into their lowest price of $10 per month (50% off the regular price!) when you sign up for a 3-month plan thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

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Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is the co-founder of the Center for Mindful Living in West Los Angeles and is the creator of the 6-month Coaching and Mentorship Program: A Course in Mindful Living. He's a psychologist and international speaker and mindfulness educator. He's written many books and in this episode, he and Eric discuss his book, Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self Compassion. There are so many practical approaches and new perspectives in this episode. We think you'll get a lot of useful information out of the conversation.

Spiritual Habits connect you back to your deepest, truest self. Learn how to put personalized Spiritual Habits to work in your life in a special, one-time program with Eric and a small group of listeners. Learn more here: thespiritualhabit.com

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Elisha Goldstein and I Discuss…

• His book, Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self Compassion
• That what you practice and repeat is what you get
• Depression Triggers and Depression Cures
• Thoughts, Emotions, Sensations, and Behaviors
• The triangle of awareness
• Procedural memory
• The habit loop being like a traffic circle with 4 entry points
• The way our brain associates things
• The way our nervous system is overwhelmed when we’re experiencing depression
• Avoidance and depression
• How naming something gives us a little space and perspective
• How naming something actually changes the activity in our brain
• Perspective-making tools
• The way journaling objectifies your experiences
• Natural anti-depressants
• Mindfulness: a state of engaged curiosity
• Relating to your experience differently through mindfulness, self-compassion, play, compassion, purpose, and mastery
• The growth mindset and the fixed mindset
• Practicing being curious in your daily life to cultivate a growth mindset
• How a learning mindset is related to a growth mindset
• The importance of play
• How to discover what kind of play you might enjoy as an adult

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. Links:

Mindful Living Collective

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube Channel

Oren Jay Sofer leads retreats and workshops on mindful communication and meditation at retreat centers and educational facilities around the United States.  He is the founder of Next Step Dharma and Mindful Healthcare and he holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University. In this episode, he and Eric discuss his new book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication. In it, you’ll learn an updated model on how to skillfully communicate – especially in difficult situations. Practical strategies and helpful perspectives are what you’ll get in this episode. 

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

In This Interview, Oren Jay Sofer and I Discuss…

• His book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication
• That we’re not stuck, our minds can learn and it depends on the choices we make moment to moment
• The three steps to create effective conversation
• Lead with Presence
• Come from Curiosity and Care
• Focus on What Matters
• How most people live with fragmented attention and it takes training to be fully present with another person
• That you can feel whether a person is fully present with you or not
• Bringing awareness and attention to the body to come into the present moment (the body is always in the present moment)
• Bodily sensations happen in the present moment
• The power of pausing
• How our rate of speech is connected to our nervous system
• That when we are present, we have a lot more choices
• That our intention shapes our verbal and non-verbal communications
• The intention to understand
• The intention of kindness and care
• How you can practice kindness to someone you don’t like
• Kindness can be about protecting your own heart
• The phrase “Let me see if I’ve got it…”
• Listening for what matters to the other person – what do they need?
• The difference between needs and strategies
• The Nonviolent Communication Model
• Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests
• Communicating in the workplace

Oren Jay Sofer Links

OrenJaySofer.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Dr. Tererai Trent is an inspiring and dynamic scholar, educator, humanitarian, motivational speaker, author and the founder of Tererai International. Dr. Trent is one of the most internationally acclaimed voices for women's empowerment and quality education. Named by Oprah Winfrey as her all-time favorite guest, Dr. Trent's latest book is called The Awakened Woman: Remembering and Reigniting Our Sacred Dreams. She tells her incredible story in this episode and you will be so deeply moved, so deeply touched, and so deeply inspired by it. We'ver never heard anything like it and are honored that she would tell us about her astounding life.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait - there's more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It's that simple and we'll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Dr. Tererai Trent and I Discuss...

• Her book, The Awakened Woman: Remembering and Reigniting Our Sacred Dreams
• The two hungers in our life - the little hunger and the great hunger
• The hunger for a meaningful life
• Asking yourself, "what breaks my heart?"
• The rural community she grew up in
• The wisdom of her grandmother
• That her grandmother was defined by her wisdom
• Her answer to the question she was asked - what are your dreams?
• The moment she was told that her dreams were achievable
• When her mother said to write down her dreams and bury (i.e. plant) them in the ground.
• How she broke the cycle of poverty
• The baton of poverty, illiteracy, early marriage, and abuse that she redefined
• The baton of wisdom, that she received
• The four dreams she wrote down
• When her mother said, "your goals in life will be more achievable when connected to the greater good of your community"
• The difference between culture and customs
• The 8 years it took for her to graduate high school
• Getting into Oklahoma State University but not having enough money to fly to America
• Feeding the deep hunger that says - you can achieve your dreams
• When she reconnected with the woman who first believed in her
• When she finally earned her PhD
• She worked 3 jobs and took 18 hours of coursework and took care of 5 kids getting her food from trashcans
• How she is not a victim, she is part of the solution
• Where her kids are now
• "It is acheivable"
• How many girls her work has now impacted

Oliver Burkeman is an award-winning writer for The Guardian and his book, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking explores the upsides of failure, difficulty, and imperfection – which we discussed in our first interview with Oliver several hundred episodes ago. Each week in his column in The Guardian, “This Column Will Change Your Life”, he writes about social psychology, self-help culture, productivity, and the science of happiness. In this interview, he discusses his take on time management in today’s world.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Oliver Burkeman and I Discuss…

• His take on the modern time management world
• That technologies of efficiency don’t seem to bring peace of mind
• How your to-do list is never going to go away
• That having emails in your inbox is not necessarily a problem
• Time management whispers of the possibility of true peace of mind
• Thinking of “a simpler time”
• How processing through your inbox is like climbing up an infinitely long ladder
• That tough choices have to be made when deciding what to do with your time – no matter how many productivity assists you have
• How it’s often easier to spend time on trivial stuff than the big projects
• David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done
• How no one beats them self up for not being able to jump a mile in the air because they never thought they could in the first place
• Similarly, accepting the real limitations in how much time you have and how much you can get done is incredibly liberating 
• Productivity advice from Warren Buffet
• The role social media plays in our expectations about how productive we could or should be
• How digital distractions help us numb out

Oliver Burkeman Links

Homepage

Facebook

Twitter

Eli Jaxon-Bear founded and currently teaches through The Leela Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to world peace and freedom through universal self-realization. Eli is also the author of many books, including the one we discuss in this episode, An Outlaw Makes it Home: The Awakening of a Spiritual Revolutionary. In this episode, he talks to Eric about accessing and experiencing your true self and things that get in the way of that. Also, he hits on a perspective of the Enneagram that we bet you’ve never considered before. 

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Eli Jaxon-Bear and I Discuss…

• His book, An Outlaw Makes it Home: The Awakening of a Spiritual Revolutionary
• Discovering who is feeding the wolves within
• That to know your true self you have to turn away from your false self – the self you construct in your mind
• NLP, the Enneagram and hypnosis integrated into his therapy
• His lasting enlightenment 
• Knowing what you really want and staying true to it in each moment
• The journey from “me” to “I” 
• Symptom cure and habit control
• His book, Sudden Awakening
• How your heart is already intelligent and alive
• That the Enneagram Personality Types is actually the Enneagram of Character Fixation
• Asking, does this bring me freedom, true love, happiness? Go deeper than the character fixation and find your character
• Waking up from the act, from the show, and stop taking it personally having to prove things
• The character fixation of an Enneagram type 9
• The “Chief Feature”
• All of our experience has a Mental, Emotional and Physical component and the ego encapsulates all three of those
• The history of the origins of the Enneagram
• His book on the Enneagram

Eli Jaxon-Bear Links

Homepage

Facebook

Twitter

The Great Courses Plus thousands of courses in virtually any topic and you can listen on demand anywhere get a full month for FREE thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set

Robinhood is an investing app that allows you to buy and sell stocks, EFTs, Options and Cryptos all commission free at any level. All it takes to do so is 4 taps in the app on your smartphone so it makes investing easy for beginners and experienced people alike. For The One You Feed listeners, you can get a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help you build your portfolio by going to  youfeed.robinhood.com

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This mini episode is about the importance of taking small steps and how being consistent is not about being perfect.

Catherine Gray is a listener favorite guest on the show. She’s been on once before to talk about her book, The Unexpected Joy of being Sober and we received so many messages about how people loved the conversation Eric had with her. In this episode, she’s here to discuss her new book, The Unexpected Joy of being Single: Locating Happily Single Serenity. Are you single? Then obviously this episode is for you. Are you in a relationship? Then – unexpectedly – this episode is also for you! Too often, people stay in bad relationships because they’re afraid of being single, afraid of being alone. You don’t want to feel trapped where you are – you want to be empowered knowing that where you are is where you CHOOSE to be – not where you HAVE to be. So, re-framing what it means and what it’s like to be single opens up everyone’s world by bringing you to the point of choice about your relationship status, rather than the point of “panic settling” or “victim mentality” about your relationship status. Trust us, you’re going to like this one.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Catherine Gray and I Discuss…

• Her book,The Unexpected Joy of being Single: Locating Happily Single Serenity
• That being single is not terrible!
• How being single is a whole lot better than “panic settling”
• That being single can be nourishing and refreshing – it has everything to do with reframing the way you see it
• Enjoying where you are at the time
• That there are pros and cons to being in a relationship and there are also pros and cons to being single
• The “if-then” happiness loop that’s a moving target
• How you get used to what you have and then you shoot for the next thing
• Choosing your perspective on your life and counting up your gratitudes
• That being single is WAY BETTER than being in a bad relationship
• How people stay in bad relationships because they’re afraid of being single, afraid of being alone
• What being a “love addict” means
• How you need bonding with 5 people in your life – not just 1 – to be happy
• How essential it is to like yourself in order to be happy in a healthy relationship
• The three different attachment styles that are created in early childhood (but can be changed in adulthood): anxious attached, secure attached, avoidant attached
• How feminism – in other words, equality – has made it socially acceptable for women to be single now
• A thought doesn’t have to lead to an action
• Don’t let yourself get too “HALT” (Hungry Angry Lonely Tired)

Catherine Gray Links

Homepage

Instagram

Twitter

Daily Harvest – they deliver absolutely delicious organic, carefully sourced, chef-created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more. To get 3 cups free in your first box, visit www.daily-harvest.com and enter promo code: feed

Thirdlove – they have 70 sizes including their signature 1/2 cup sizes! Find your perfect fit online in 60 seconds with their no tape measure needed fit finder. Get 15% off our first order at www.thirdlove.com/wolf

Quip has guiding features that are a built-in support system for better brushing and it’s an affordable $25. Visit www.getquip.com/wolf get your first refill pack for free

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Jonathan Rottenberg is an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of South Florida where he’s the director of the mood and emotion laboratory. He’s also the author of the book, The Depths:  The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic“, which he and Eric have discussed before. In this interview, they discuss some of the studies and research he’s involved with specific to those who go on to flourish after having depression. Why do they? What can we learn from them? There’s hope and practical wisdom in this episode for you.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Jonathan Rottenberg and I Discuss…

• His book, The Depths: The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic
• Thriving after depression
• The studies and research he’s involved with
• People who thrive after depression
• The destructive and recurring nature of depression
• The typical low expectation for those with depression about life moving forward and how it should be different
• What is mental “health”?
• Psychological well being
• Experiencing positive emotions
• Experiencing negative emotions to a lesser degree
• Feeling of balance in life
• Having meaningful relationships
• Feeling a sense of autonomy over your life
• How happy should we expect to be?
• Having elements of wellbeing amidst struggling with depression
• The 3 things that seed a low mood: events, temperaments, and routines
• Rumination
• Ways that people can work with depression more skillfully
• Having a different relationship with your negative thoughts
• Having connections with others
• Research on flourishing
• How much control do we have over our state of flourishing?
• That it’s never too late
• There is hope
• Our culture that idealizes euphoria
• The role of our basic temperament
• Factors of wellbeing other than emotion and mood
• The organization he helped found, Depression Army
• The interesting and transformative experience of depression
• That his depression has been defanged and it doesn’t break the skin anymore

Jonathan Rottenberg, Ph.D. Links:

Depression Army

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Blinkist – Do you have an ever-growing list of books to read? Blinkist can help! With thousands of non-fiction books distilled down to their most salient points that you can consume in 15 minutes or less, go to www.blinkist.com/wolf for a 7-day free trial

Policy Genius helps you compare insurance plans and find the right policy for you at a price you can afford and then they handle everything – negotiating your rate and booking your appointment. Visit www.policygenius.com

Robinhood is an investing app that allows you to buy and sell stocks, EFTs, Options and Cryptos all commission free at any level. All it takes to do so is 4 taps in the app on your smartphone so it makes investing easy for beginners and experienced people alike. For The One You Feed listeners, you can get a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help you build your portfolio by going to  youfeed.robinhood.com

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Lisa Feldman Barrett

Therese Borchard

Susan David is a psychologist on faculty at Harvard Medical School. She’s also the co-founder and co-director of The Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital and is CEO of Evidence-Based Psychology. Her book is, Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. Have you ever gotten hooked by a difficult emotion? In other words, have you ever felt compelled to act on a strong feeling without having any space to think about your action first? If so, you will find really helpful wisdom in this episode that you can take, apply today and live a more skillful, open-hearted life.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Susan David and I Discuss…

• Her book, Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life
• How emotions are a guidance system
• That emotions can help us adapt and thrive
• The thinking “unless I’m happy all the time, something is wrong”
• Emotional Agility
• Loosening up, calming down and living with more intention
• The space between stimulus and response
• Emotional rigidity
• Allowing the story in our head to drive our actions
• Being who we most want to be in this world
• Moving away from the idea of “I have a thought and the thought is fact and I have to act on it”
• Getting hooked – accepting thought as fact
• That we are not our emotions – our emotions are a data source
• The story that imprisons and keeps us from acting in an open-hearted way
• How to get unhooked
• Getting curious and compassionate about our emotions when we’re hooked
• I’m noticing that I’m feeling ____
• Creating a safe psychological space for ourselves
• “Walking your why”
• Choice points: do I move towards my values or away from my values?
• Social contagion
• Keeping your values front of mind
• Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life
• That our difficult emotions (like anxiety, for example) don’t have to go away in order for us to live according to our values
• Under our difficult emotions are signposts for our values
• Premature cognitive commitment
• Stories help us to make sense of our world
• Naming our stories
• 
  

Susan David, Ph.D. Links:

susandavid.com

Ted Talk – Susan David, Ph.D.

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Daily Harvest delivers absolutely delicious, organic, carefully sourced, chef created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more! To get 3 cups free in your first box, visit www.daily-harvest.com and enter promo code: feed

The Great Courses Plus offers thousands of courses in virtually any topic and you can listen on demand anywhere. To get a full month for FREE, visit thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com and enter promo code: WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set.

Apply to The One You Feed Transformation Program

Parker Palmer is a writer, teacher, and activist whose work speaks deeply to many people in many different walks of life. He’s the founder and senior partner in The Center for Courage and Renewal. He’s the author of many books, including his newest one which we talk about on this episode: On The Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old. Parker is one of our favorite guests of the show and after you listen to this episode, you’ll know why he’s back for a second conversation.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Parker Palmer and I Discuss…

• His book, On The Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old
• His reflections looking back on his life
• The resilient fabric of his life
• How perfection is an illusion
• The role mistakes can play in one’s life
• The gift of age: Looking back on one’s life and saying “It all belongs”
• Another gift of age: Deep appreciation and gratitude for the present moment
• Feeling like you’re one of the lucky ones that you’re “old”
• Asking “What’s there for me to learn?” when facing problematic moments in life (like feeling down, or feeling self-pity)
• Moments of life that are burdened with ego
• The correlation between ego concerns and anxiety
• The importance and role of perspective
• The what and why of the things we’re doing
• The question (and trap!): Does my life have meaning?
• My legacy vs Our legacy
• How we’re all embedded in community
• “I planted some seeds and found some people I wanted to garden with…”
• How life and work are profoundly communal
• Reflecting on the question, “Have I been sufficiently open to and aware of the significant contributions others have made in my life – and in such a way to do a deep bow to them in the work that I do?”
• Turning attention outward vs inward
• Being one among many vs trying to be something or someone special
• The healing impact of getting out into the natural world
• His poem “Harrowing”
• To know when to say, “enough” because the rest of the world and the rest of my life is waiting

Parker Palmer Links

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The Great Courses Plus – Thousands of courses in virtually any topic and you can listen on demand anywhere. Get a full month for FREE! thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

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In This Interview, Dean Sluyter and I Discuss…

• His book, Fear Less: Living Beyond Fear, Anxiety, Anger, and Addiction
• Right View and how it relates to having less fear in your life
• How right view is always liberating
• Asking, “does it help?”
• “One mustn’t assume burdens that God doesn’t lay upon us. The state of worry is not itself meritorious.” CS Lewis
• The problem with trying to control your mind
• Transcendental Meditation
• Hanging out in tasklessness
• The open space of awareness
• How thought doesn’t have to go away in order to meditate
• Relax your grip, and relax back into yourself
• It doesn’t grip you, it has no power to do that. You grip it.
• What it means to relax at the moment of contact
• Relax into it, stop the resistance of it
• Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional
• suffering = pain x resistance

Dean Sluyter Links

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Meditation

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Megan Devine is a pioneer in the fields of grief support and emotional intelligence. Since 2009, she’s been writing and talking about grief and love, shaking up our culture’s ideas about both all along the way. In this episode we discuss these topics along with her newest book,It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Megan Devine and I Discuss…

• Her book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand
• That the way we deal with grief in our culture is broken
• How grief is a no-win situation for everyone
• The fact that we don’t like to talk about grief
• How we carry losses with us
• The myth that happiness is the same as health and that if you’re not happy, you’re doing something wrong
• That some things cannot be fixed, they can only be carried
• How cruel it is to say everything happens for a reason and that you create your reality
• Our limited tools for going through difficulty
• Victim blaming
• How we can’t be 100% safe
• That we aren’t 100% in control of how we react to things
• If we think grief is a problem to be solved, all of our tools will fail us
• Sadness isn’t a problem either
• How you can’t “get over it and put it behind you”
• The importance of having pain Heard, Honored and Validated
• The power of listening and curiosity
• Thinking of pain as an experience to be tended
• The things we have to live through and endure, that we can’t escape
• Making these difficult things gentler on us
• Decreasing suffering inside of grief
• Wellness vs. worseness
• Paying attention to the cause and effect of things
• The hierarchy of grief
• Treating compassion as the abundant resource that it is
• Hope
• Meeting people where they are
• Asking: Do you want empathy or a problem solved right now?
• Asking: What do you need in this moment? What would feel useful right now?
• You can’t heal someone’s pain by trying to take it away from them
• The importance of showing yourself kindness

Megan Devine Links

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Animation on Grief

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Jonathan Rauch is a senior fellow at the Brookings Institute, the author of 6 books (and many, many articles) and is a contributing editor of The Atlantic. His latest book is The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50. See what you think about the trends of happiness in your life compared to the tendency he describes in his book and this interview. It may be that the emotional peak of life is different than when you’d expect.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Jonathan Rauch and I Discuss…

• His book, The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50
• Connection to others
• Generosity
• The factors that most contribute to our happiness
• The U shape curve of happiness in life
• The emotional peak of life
• How our expectations change as life goes on
• That our values continue to change
• The fact that our brains change over the course of a lifetime
• How the effects of connectedness are cumulative and durable
• The hedonic treadmill
• What to do to be happier at the bottom of the curve
• The suffering that comes from social comparison
• Staying in the present moment
• Internal criticism
• Guilt vs Shame in mid-life
• The benefits of being other-directed, other-oriented
• How the voice of impulsiveness isn’t our friend

Jonathan Rauch Links

Homepage

Twitter

The Great Courses Plus gives in-depth knowledge on a variety of topics like psychology, science, philosophy, cooking, photography and more. Watch or listen to a course whenever, wherever for FREE. To start your free trial now go to www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there. Visit www.phlur.com and use promo code WOLF to get 20% off first custom sampler set.

After a career as a designer in the tech industry, John Zeratsky became obsessed with the idea of re-designing time. He’s a writer who has written multiple books and his work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Time, Harvard Business Review, Wired, Fast Company, and many others. In this episode, among other things, we discuss his newest book, Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you

!n This Interview, John Zeratsky and I Discuss…

• His book, Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day
• Understanding the limits on will-power
• Setting up our world around us so it’s easier to make the right decisions
• Creating more time in your day for the things you care about
• The two powerful forces that compete every day for our time
• “The Busy Bandwagon”
• The Infinity Pools
• Questioning the “defaults” in our schedule
• Creating a highlight for every day
• Living a “someday” life
• Finding more meaningful moments
• Urgency, Satisfaction, Joy
• Batch the little stuff
• Laser mode
• Taking back control of your time and energy
• Creating barriers to distraction
• Managing your energy
• Building your energy
• Focusing on the process not the outcome

John Zeratsky Links

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The Great Sources Plus gives in-depth knowledge on a variety of topics like psychology, science, philosophy, cooking, photography and more. Watch or listen to a course whenever, wherever for FREE. To start your free trial now go to www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/wolf

Calm- The number one app that helps you meditate, sleep and relax. For a limited time, get 25% off a Calm premium subscription – giving you access to ALL their content – at www.calm.com/wolf

Marilyn Nelson on Her Beautiful, Powerful Poetry

Marilyn Nelson is an American poet, translator and children’s book author. She’s a professor emeritus at The University of Connecticut and the former poet laureate of Connecticut. In this episode, Eric and Marilyn discuss several poems she’s written as well as the meaning behind them. 

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Marilyn Nelson and I Discuss…

• Her book, How I Discovered Poetry
• Her poem, Mississippi
• Her book, A Wreath for Emmett Till
• The poetry form of a heroic crown of sonnets
• Her poem, Rosemary for Remembrance
• Her poem, Let Me Gather Spring Flowers For a Wreath
• Her poem, Like His Gouged Eye
• How poetry comes out of silence and leads us back to silence
• The value of silence in a life well lived
• Silence, contemplation, and self-knowledge
• Our quiet center
• Her book, Carver
• Her poem, Professor Carver’s Bible Class
• Her book, Snook Alone

Marilyn Nelson Links

Homepage

Facebook

Netsuite by Oracle – the business software that handles every aspect of your business in an easy to use cloud platform. Get Netsweep’s free guide, Crushing the 5 Barriers to Growth, by going to www.netsuite.com/wolf

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Blinkist – Do you have an ever-growing list of books to read? Blinkist can help! With thousands of non-fiction books distilled down to their most salient points that you can consume in 15 minutes or less go to www.blinkist.com/wolf for a 7 day free trial

Roger Housden is a second time guest on the show – you might remember him from episode 152. He founded The Open Gate which is a conference and workshop center in England that introduced the work of Ram Dass and Thich Nhat Hanh and many others into Europe. You also might have seen his work featured in places like O Magazine, The New York Times and The Los Angeles Times. In this episode, Roger and Eric discuss his beautiful book, 10 Poems for Difficult Times.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Roger Housden and I Discuss…

• His book, 10 Poems for Difficult Times
• Saying “there is happiness happening” or “there is anger happening” rather than “I am angry” or “I am happy”
• How poetry helps us in difficult times
• That poetry gives voice to that which is unsayable
• The poet Ellen Bass
• How suffering can soften us if we bow down to it
• That you can’t fake surrender
• The opportunity in suffering is growth
• How poetry points us in the direction of possibility in suffering
• The poet Maggie Smith
• The poet Marie Howe
• Annunciation by Marie Howe
• The specific pointing to the universal in poetry

Roger Housden Links

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Phlur makes stunning, non-toxic perfumes, listing every ingredient and why it’s there www.phlur.compromo code WOLF 20 off first custom sampler set

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Steven C Hayes is Nevada Foundation Professor at the Department of Psychology at the University of Nevada. He is an author of over 35 books and over 500 scientific articles. He is considered one of the founders of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

In 1992 he was listed by the Institute for Scientific Information as the 30th “highest impact” psychologist in the world. His work has been recognized by several awards including the Exemplary Contributions to Basic Behavioral Research and Its Applications from Division 25 of APA, the Impact of Science on Application award from the Society for the Advancement of Behavior Analysis, and the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies.

He is best known for his book Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Steven C Hayes and I Discuss…

• The One You Feed parable
• His book, Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life 
• The ACT approach to therapy
• That you know if your thoughts are good or bad by the fruits that they bear
• The difference between pain and suffering
• The importance of putting the human mind on a leash
• That suffering comes from when we mishandle the present moment, and we amplify certain thoughts and feelings
• The meaning of Cognitive Fusion: when we can look only from our thoughts and not at our thoughts
• The importance of and various types of contemplative practice
• Various diffusion techniques (listed in a free episode download!)
• The concept and practice of experiential avoidance
• The full impact of acting for “short term gains with long term pains”
• The idea of creating larger behavioral patterns
• The role of values based action

Steven C Hayes Links

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TED Talk

Paul Hannam has started, owned and managed a number of successful businesses and he taught business and environmental management at Oxford University. His new book is The Wisdom of Groundhog Day: How to Improve Your Life One Day at a Time. Before you jump to thinking you know what he’s going to say about this – wait and listen to this episode. You’ll be surprised and intrigued by his insight and recommendations based on this movie.

Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Paul Hannam and I Discuss…

• His book, The Wisdom of Groundhog Day: How to Improve Your Life One Day at a Time
• The controlled experiment of Groundhog Day (the film)
• The life skill of experimentation
• Investigating our behavior
• Working on changing one variable at a time
• Keeping a journal
• Asking “what is my role in creating my mood?”
• Looking inward for the answer
• Making change 1 day at a time
• The action of our inner life
• Narrowing the spectrum of life through routine
• The inner monotony
• How you have everything you need to be happy now
• Slowing down with mindfulness
• Grounding yourself in your senses
• Connecting with nature
• The conditioned self
• The authentic self
• Conditioning, Circumstances and Our Mind
• How our brain doesn’t like change
• The 5 characteristics of our conditioned self
• Try looking at things in a new way
• Trying to control our inner state
• Letting go of outcomes

Paul Hannam Links

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Tim Pychyl is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Carlton University and hosts a podcast called I Procrastinate. His book that we discuss in this episode is on that very topic – it’s called Solving the Procrastination Puzzle: A Concise Guide to Strategies for Change

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

In This Interview, Tim Pychyl and I Discuss…

• His book, Solving the Procrastination Puzzle: A Concise Guide to Strategies for Change
• How it’s in the getting on in life that makes a life
• That procrastination can be an existential matter
• What he tells his children: I didn’t ask what you want to do or how you feel, I told you it’s time to make your bed.
• When we procrastinate we delay getting on with our lives
• Being an active member or your own life
• The two ways procrastination compromises our health
• Stress
• Fewer wellness behaviors
• Treatment delay “I’ll look after that later”
• Procrastination being a problem of self-regulated behavior
• I won’t give in to feel good
• Goal Intentions and Implementation intentions
• When….then…
• Giving the monkey something to do
• What’s the next action?
• Keeping it small
• Hacks to work around our irrational thinking
• Motivation and then Action or Action and then Motivation
• The meaning behind our goals
• Meaning and Manageability
• Asking what will this cost me if I put it off?
• Prefer tomorrow over today
• Thinking “I’ll feel like doing it tomorrow”
• Affect forecasting
• Thinking of your future self as a stranger
• Developing empathy for future self
• Self-handicap to preserve self-esteem

Tim Pychyl Links

Homepage

Twitter

Tim’s Psychology Today Page

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Hilary Jacobs Hendel is a psychotherapist who switched from practicing traditional talk psychotherapy to accelerated experimental dynamic psychotherapy. She teaches us that our core emotions are automatic and grounded in universal physical experiences. Her new book is called, It’s Not Always Depression: Working The Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to your Authentic Self. In this episode, she goes into great instructional detail about how to identify and process your emotions in the moment. If you’ve ever felt a strong emotion (and who hasn’t), this episode will teach you how to move through it skillfully, rather than having your strong emotions wreak havoc in yourself and with others. 

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In This Interview, Hilary Jabobs Hendel and I Discuss…

• Her new book, It’s Not Always Depression: Working The Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to your Authentic Self
• The 7 C’s of our authentic self
• The science and biology of emotions
• The change triangle
• The Core Emotions: Fear, Anger, Sadness, Disgust, Joy, Excitement and Sexual Excitement
• The 3 Inhibitory Emotions: Anxiety, Guilt, and Shame
• How core emotions have energy and want to come up and out- to be expressed
• Inhibitory emotions dampening our core emotions 
• The difference between defenses and inhibitory emotions
• How to work The Change Triangle
• Trauma vs trauma
• The power of naming your emotions
• Our open-hearted state
• When our emotions overwhelm us, it can be helpful to have someone else process them
• Grounding and breathing
• The role of core emotions is to ready us for action so they are first physical sensations, traveling from the brain down the vegus nerve
• All core emotions have impulses associated with them
• How harmful self-criticism and self-judgment can be
• Relating to ourselves as a small child
• Healthy shame vs toxic shame

Hilary Jacobs Hendel Links

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Neil Pasricha is a New York Times bestselling author with books published in over a dozen languages. He’s spent 7 years (and counting!) on best-seller lists and his books have sold millions of copies. You may know his blog – 1000 Awesome Things – it’s won 2 Webby awards for the Best Blog in the World and has had over 50 million hits. His most recent book, The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything, is what we focus much of this interview on. You’ll learn really practical advice, grounded in research and science, on what you can do to be happier.

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In This Interview, Neil Pasricha and I Discuss…

• His book, The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything
• The 9 critical steps in achieving the happiness equation
• The 7 ways to be happy right now
• The benefits of 3 brisk 30-minute nature walks each week
• The power of random – or conscious – acts of kindness
• A complete unplug
• Why you should never retire
• Social, Stimulation, Story
• The importance of structure
• The bench test for all major life decisions
• His upcoming audible book on resilience
• The war between more and enough

Neil Pasricha Links

Homepage

Instagram

Twitter

Neil’s New Audible Show

Ruth King is an emotional wisdom author, coach, and consultant. She's a guiding teacher at Insight Meditation Community of Washington and she's on the teacher's council at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. In addition, she's the founder of Mindful Members Insight Meditation Community in Charlotte, NC. She has a Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology and is the author of several publications including her new book, Mindful of Race: Transforming Racism from the Inside Out. In this stirring, thoughtful and wise conversation, she touches on the heart of racism and teaches how we can move to heal this heart disease.

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 In This Interview, Ruth King and I Discuss...

• Her book, Mindful of Race: Transforming Racism From The Inside Out
• The value of being curious about the good and bad wolves inside of us
• Racism being a heart disease that is curable
• Her open heart surgery at the age of 27
• Rage being an exit route
• Rage being energy moving through the body
• Habitual patterns of racism being a layer on top of the real issue that we can't tolerate - they are defense mechanisms
• Racial affinity groups
• 6 hindrances
• The structure of racism
• Racism vs Prejudice
• Racist vs Racism
• Understanding our own experience with racism and talking about it
• What it's like to be "membered"
• Individual vs group identity
• Diversity within the body of color

Ruth King Links

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Chances are, you've heard the name James Clear. Especially if you have done any research whatsoever about building habits. That's kinda his neck of the woods. His work has appeared in The New York Times, CBS This Morning, Time, Entrepreneur and he has taught in colleges around the world. In this episode, part 2 of a 2 part series, he talks more about his new book, Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. You'll learn some really specific, easy and flat out "why didn't I think of that" genius methods to apply to your life and habits.

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 In This Interview, James Clear and I Discuss...

• His book, Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones
• Habits are a response to the physical cues in our environment
• Increasing the friction it takes to complete the task
• The more you increase the steps between you and the bad behavior or decrease the steps between you and the good behavior the better
• Habit stacking/Anchoring
• "After _____ I will _____"
• The more specific the better
• Social environment and habits
• You want to join groups where your desired behavior is the normal behavior
• Make it easy
• The two-minute rule
• A habit must be established before it can be improved
• Optimize for the starting line rather than the finish line
• Make it satisfying
• Feel successful at the end
• Bring the long-term consequences into the short term

James Clear Links

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This week we talk to Dr. Gabor Mate´ about addiction

A renowned speaker, and bestselling author, Dr. Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress and childhood development.

For twelve years Dr. Maté worked in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside with patients challenged by hard-core drug addiction, mental illness and HIV, including at Vancouver’s Supervised Injection Site.

As an author, Dr. Maté has written several bestselling books including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction; When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress; and Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder, and co-authored Hold on to Your Kids. His works have been published internationally in twenty languages.

Dr. Maté is the co-founder of Compassion for Addiction, a new non-profit that focusses on addiction. He is also an advisor of Drugs over Dinner.

Dr. Maté has received the Hubert Evans Prize for Literary Non-Fiction; an Honorary Degree (Law) from the University of Northern British Columbia; an Outstanding Alumnus Award from Simon Fraser University; and the 2012 Martin Luther King Humanitarian Award from Mothers Against Teen Violence. He is an adjunct professor in the Faculty of Criminology, Simon Fraser University.

 

In This Interview, Dr. Gabor Mate´ and I Discuss...

 

• The One You Feed parable
• The degree of choice we have in life
• What is the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts?
• What is addiction?
• The characteristics of addiction
• Recognizing what addicts get out of their addiction
• The fundamental question is not “Why the Addiction” but “Why the Pain”
• How all addiction comes out of some hurt or trauma
• The different types of trauma
• The role of neurotransmitters in addiction
• How drugs and alcohol destroy the parts of the brain that allow us to make sound decisions
• Whether or not genetics play a significant role in addiction
• Whether our culture breeds addiction
• How our children get most of their leadership from other children
• How the breakup of family, community and clan is contributing to addiction
• The critical role of the culture in our the development of our brains
• Recognizing our inherent value
• To what degree we have freedom over our choices
• Without consciousness, there is no freedom
• Paths to recovery
• How compassion can help with recovery
• Developing compassionate curiosity towards ourselves

Dr. Gabor Mate´ Links

Homepage

TED Talk

Facebook

Miguel Chen is a meditation practitioner, a yoga instructor, a yoga studio owner and the bass player for a punk rock band. He has also published a book called I Wanna Be Well: How a Punk Found Peace and You Can Too. In this compelling episode, Eric and Miguel explore the connection between punk rock and Buddhism and they dive into the experiences in his life - both traumatic and positive - that have shaped his spiritual path of awakening.

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 In This Interview, Miguel Chen and I Discuss...

• His book, I Wanna Be Well: How a Punk Found Peace and You Can Too
• How he owns a yoga studio and plays in a punk rock band
• The way he suppressed grief for dead family members
• Asking himself why he wasn't happy
• The connection between punk rock and Buddhism
• The other as self
• Forgetting who we are
• The importance of being mindful throughout life
• Not being present with stuff we like
• Not being present with stuff we don't like
• Eating mindfully
• How if you're used to disconnecting from things you don't like, it starts creeping into the things you do like
• How he stays in the present moment
• Training the mind
• His morning routine
• Non-attachment
• Being criticized for his spiritual practice
• His spiritual practice while on tour
• The danger of taking people in life for granted
• How grateful he is that he woke up early in his life
• Why some people get motivated to get sober and others don't

Miguel Chen Links

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Twitter

 

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Jillian Pransky is a Certified Yoga Therapist, a teacher and an author of the new book, Deep Listening: A Healing Practice to Calm Your Body, Clear Your Mind and Open Your Heart. In this interview, Jillian dives deep into the topic of somatic listening; what it is, why it's important, how to do it and the benefits you can expect. Restorative Yoga is an avenue for this type of work and it can be life changing to say the least. Do you experience tension in your body? Do you have unpleasant feelings? Do you feel exhausted? If your answer is yes or sometimes to any of these questions, you'll want to hear what Jillian Pransky has to say in this episode.

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In This Interview, Jillian Pransky and I Discuss...

• Her book, Deep Listening: A Healing Practice to Calm Your Body, Clear Your Mind and Open Your Heart
• How she used to believe anxiety and depression was a choice
• Learning to be with the bad wolf
• Befriending her bad wolf
• That not everything can be fixed
• When surrender is needed
• Not being able to fix some way someone has treated us
• Restorative Yoga
• Paying attention to our body and mind so that we're aware of how we shut down and open up and to be with it with openness
• Deep listening to yourself can leave you more hard and cutoff or open and tender
• The tension in our body signifying the stress response
• Paying attention long enough that it softens and shifts
• Judging the tension we find in our bodies
• Getting curious about the tension we find, breathing into it
• Asking "How am I still guarding myself when I don't have to be?" during Restorative Yoga
• "Doing Less"
• How the busier we are the less we have to feel
• Listening is the act of allowing
• Love is the act of allowing
• Allowing yourself to be supported even when you're active
• That which is regular is way better than that which is a lot
• A little bit all the time re-wires us
• How exhausting it is to be somewhere we're not
• Our thoughts are like social media
• Forward thinking and past thinking after present moment being
• Letting go vs Letting be
• Analogy of salt in water: shot glass vs mason jar
• "The practice isn't about learning how to stay here but learning how to come back."

Jillian Pransky Links

Homepage

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Judson Brewer MD PhD is widely considered an expert in the areas of habit change, the "science of self-mastery" and mindfulness training for addiction. He has published a number of peer-reviewed articles and book chapters, he has trained US Olympic coaches, and his work has been featured on 60 Minutes, TEDMED, Time, Forbes, BBC, NPR, Businessweek and others. So - you get the idea...this guy knows what he's talking about and what he's talking about is fascinating. It's a very different approach to ridding yourself of addiction and it works. it works much better than even currently accepted "gold standard programs" and it's something you can learn how to do today. In fact, you can learn how to do it by listening to this episode.

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Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

 

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In This Interview, Judson Brewer and I Discuss...

• His book, The Craving Mind: From Cigarettes to Smartphones to Love - Why We Get Hooked and How We Can Break Bad Habits
• Trigger, Behavior, Result
• Rewards and Punishments
• Habit Loop
• Subjective Bias
• Addiction: Continued use despite adverse consequences
• Addiction: a way to avoid something
• Every time we give in to a craving, we reinforce that habit loop
• Cravings are like stray cats
• If you don't feed a craving it will burn itself out
• Surfing a craving
• The way cravings feel like they're going to crush us and last forever - cognitive distortion
• Craving Wave: come - crest - go away\
• Awareness helps us surf these craving waves
• What does this feel like in my body right now?
• Paying attention to the craving rather than avoid it or make it go away
• RAIN
• This method had 5x quit rates than the gold standard smoking cessation program
• Substitute behavior
• In their quest for happiness, people mistake excitement of the mind for real happiness
• Investigate the craving and the reward
• Excitement brings contraction
• Get curious about your experiences - it helps you remain open
• Default mode network
• Conceptual vs Experiential Self
• The contraction of ego
• How we relate to our thoughts and feelings makes all the difference

Jusdon Brewer Links

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Twitter

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I'm talking about the fears that come with leaving my job and how I'm working with that. And I'm sharing the thoughts about going from your full-time job to something else you might love.

Josh Korda is the guiding teacher of Dharma Punx in NYC and a fully empowered Buddhist teacher in the Against the Stream lineage. He has led numerous online and residential retreats and is also widely known for his podcast and as an author. His new book is called Unsubscribe: Opt Out of Delusion, Tune in to Truth. In this conversation with Eric, he talks about how to make changes in your life and he bases much of what he has to say on this topic on his Buddhist principals and own life experience. It's a comprehensive look at how we as humans can experience the impermanence of life. Since we all face this impermanence, it's a pretty important thing to grow more skillful in the way we interact with it.

Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

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In This Interview, Josh Korda and I Discuss...

• His book, Unsubscribe: Opt Out of Delusion, Tune in to Truth
• How he deals with his depression
• Western mindfulness practice
• How it's not about always accepting or settling for toxic circumstances
• How it's not about always running away from healthy yet difficult circumstances
• The wisdom to know what to do with difficulty in the moment
• How to make significant life changes (based on his experience doing just that)
• Being willing to set boundaries
• Making change by talking harshly oneself only creates stress and you then associate the stress with the goal itself and you begin to procrastinate
• How our inner critic makes us want to avoid the very things we want to grow into
• Thought arrives after feeling and impulses
• Ways to change behavior without relying on thought
• "Corrective emotional response"
• The importance of an empathetic, safe therapist in effective therapy

Josh Korda Links

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Twitter

 

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There are so many podcasts about crime and tragedy - but few if any who give a voice to those who survived, who overcame adversity, and who could help others get out of the way of physical or emotional harm.

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Anne Bogel is an author, podcast host, avid reader and personality assessment expert. That's what you'll see when you read her new book, How Seeing the World Through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything. In this interview, Eric and Anne cover a lot of ground; from book recommendations to the value and application of personality tests. If you are at all interested in personal growth, this episode will excite and inspire you to use valid personality tests as a tool to fuel that endeavor. If you've written off personality tests in the past, we encourage you to revisit the topic with an open mind as you listen to this episode. You may think differently 45 minutes from now.

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Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

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In This Interview, Anne Bogel and I Discuss...

• Her book, Reading People: How Seeing the World Through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything
• Recent fiction books that she's read that she loved
• How we all have pain during the course of our lives
• The joy of reading literary fiction
• What is personality?
• The coping strategies we learn vs fundamental personality changes
• How our mind is inclined to work
• The way we see things
• Taking a personality test and answering questions based on how we want to be vs how we really are
• That if you don't know how you're really like, you can't move forward and grow as a person
• Common thoughts, feelings and behavior = our personality type
• Our character and our behavior are two things we can impact and change within ourselves with a lot of effort
• Personality tests not being a limiting thing
• Putting your strengths to work for you
• Putting effort towards things we can change vs things we can't change
• I'm the kind of person who _____ being a powerful phrase
• Fixed vs Growth mindset
• Highly sensitive people
• The emotional bank account
• Introverts vs Extroverts
• What you do consistently over time matters
• the 5:1 ratio when it comes to positive and negative experiences
• The Enneagram - https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

Anne Bogel Links

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Instagram

 

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Culadasa is a meditation master with over 4 decades of experience in the Tibetan and Theravadan Buddhist traditions. He taught classes in neuroscience and psychology at the Universities of Calgary and Brittish Columbia. He now lives in the Arizona wilderness and leads the Dharma Treasure Buddhist Sanga. His book on meditation, The Mind Illuminated, is the book Eric calls the best book on meditation he's ever read. This is a two-part interview. In this episode, part one, Eric and Culadasa talk about how the mind and brain works - knowledge that is essential to understand before one can successfully implement the meditation techniques that will be discussed in part two. These techniques have the very real potential of transforming your meditation experience. So listen up in this episode and get ready to radically re-understand this thing we call the mind.

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Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

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In This Interview, Culadasa and I Discuss...

• His book, The Mind Illuminated
• The power of setting an intention for meditation
• Getting all of the mind on board for meditating
• Accepting whatever comes up
• Trying to enjoy your meditation, celebrating the times you come back to the present moment vs scolding yourself
• Roadmap of the stages of meditation over time
• How knowing the developmental nature of things over time can be problematic
• The difficulties of being a beginner at anything
• Looking for the pleasure and joy in wherever you are 
• The 4 step process of settling in to meditate
• Feeling your breath at the nose
• The Mindful Review
• Being aware of the motivation behind your thoughts and speech
• What could I have done differently?

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Culadasa is a meditation master with over 4 decades of experience in the Tibetan and Theravadan Buddhist traditions. He taught classes in neuroscience and psychology at the Universities of Calgary and Brittish Columbia. He now lives in the Arizona wilderness and leads the Dharma Treasure Buddhist Sanga. His book on meditation, The Mind Illuminated, is the book Eric calls the best book on meditation he's ever read. This is a two-part interview. In this episode, part one, Eric and Culadasa talk about how the mind and brain works - knowledge that is essential to understand before one can successfully implement the meditation techniques that will be discussed in part two. These techniques have the very real potential of transforming your meditation experience. So listen up in this episode and get ready to radically re-understand this thing we call the mind.

Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

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In This Interview, Culadasa and I Discuss...

• His book, The Mind Illuminated
• How the mind and the brain works
• The basic distinction between attention and awareness
• How when we give labels to something we can know and understand it better
• The moments of consciousness model
• Non-perceiving moments of consciousness
• The dullness of meditation
• Sleepiness in meditation
• The goal of vipassana is to increase the total power of our cognitive abilities
• The mind system model (how the mind works)
• The conscious and unconscious mind
• Sensory sub-mind (taking in info through senses)
• Discriminating sub-mind (cognitive thinking/feeling)
• These sub-minds are competing for attention
• The conscious mind is a place that the sub-minds project into
• The power of setting intentions on the sub-minds
• The role of the narrating sub-mind
• We are a collection of the processes of the sub-minds
• Making intellectual sense of the experience of not-self

Amoda Maa is a contemporary spiritual teacher and author. You may recognize the titles of some of her books: How to Find God in Everything, Change Your Life Change Your World and Radical Awakening. Her new book, Embodied Enlightenment: Living Your Awakening In Every Moment, is a powerful look at what awakening means, looks like and feels in your everyday life. She stresses that you can't think your way into awakening but that rather you feel your way into it. During this interview she talks about what that means and how to do it.

Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

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In This Interview, Amoda Maa and I Discuss...

• Her new book, Embodied Enlightenment: Living Your Awakening In Every Moment
• Awakening
• Waking up out of the dream of separation
• Waking up out of the dream of thinking that we are our thoughts and feelings
• Awakening not dependant on or a precursor to one's psychological health
• Surrendering the need to uphold oneself
• Surrendering the psychological self
• The need for psychological safety giving rise to egoic tendencies
• The defense and attack found in righteousness
• The verticality of being
• Not having an agenda of the outcome when opening ourselves to our experience and meeting it as it is
• How to be free from suffering
• The strength of life's intelligence
• The ripening that happens within oneself when you've finally had enough of running away from pain
• No real relief from pain and no final freedom from pain when all you're doing is running away from it
• Am I willing to meet this exactly as it is?
• Trying not to try
• True fulfillment is the emptying of the spiritual shopping basket
• The paradox of trying not to try
• Accumulating agendas = committing to a particular spiritual path and expecting that you'll feel worthy and good enough
• Love is seeking to know itself
• Silence is ever present in everything

 

 

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Johann Hari is an author and a journalist. His previous book was a New York Times Best Seller and his newest, Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression and the Unexpected Solutions, is no doubt on its way to share the same status. It proposes a more holistic, societal look at the causes and treatment of depression - more than the singular chemical imbalance explanation we traditionally consider. The core principal of getting our needs met is a thread that runs throughout this discussion and the deep dive that Johann Hari does on the subject will fascinate you and cause you to stop and think very differently than you have before on this topic that affects so many people in this world. 

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In This Interview, Johann Hari and I Discuss...

• His new book, Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression and the Unexpected Solutions
• The two kinds of human connection
• Intrinsic (internal) and extrinsic (external) motivations
• "Junk" values
• The more you're driven by extrinsic values, the more likely you'll suffer from anxiety and depression in your life
• Our society drives us to live in this extrinsic way
• The whole point of advertising is to make us feel inadequate and our problems can be solved by buying
• Extrinsic motives can crowd out the more fulfilling intrinsic motives
• The 9 causes of depression and anxiety
• The need to look more holistically at anxiety and depression than just a chemical imbalance
• That the book is NOT saying not to take medications that help with anxiety and depression
• The loneliest culture that has ever been
• The importance of addressing the deep environmental factors/reasons why we're so depressed and anxious
• Our sense of home and sense of belonging
• The problems manifested by being isolated and alone
• The benefit of being part of a "tribe"
• Realizing that you're not the only one who struggles and feels the way you do
• Grief and the diagnosis of depression
• Just having a chemical imbalance means your pain doesn't have meaning
• Depression and not having your needs met
• Following the pain to its source
• Pathologizing Depression

Johann Hari Links

Lost Connections Homepage

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Facebook

 

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This week on The One You Feed we have Andrew Solomon.

Andrew Solomon is a writer and lecturer on politics, culture and psychology.

Solomon’s recent book, Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity, published on November 13, 2012, won the National Book Critics Circle award for nonfiction among many other awards. The New York Times hailed the book, writing, “It’s a book everyone should read… there’s no one who wouldn’t be a more imaginative and understanding parent — or human being — for having done so… a wise and beautiful book.”  People described it as “a brave, beautiful book that will expand your humanity.”

Solomon’s previous book, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression (Scribner, 2001), won the 2001 National Book Award for Nonfiction, was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize, and was included in The Times of London‘s list of one hundred best books of the decade. A New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback editions, The Noonday Demon has also been a bestseller in seven foreign countries, and has been published in twenty-four languages. The New York Times described it as “All-encompassing, brave, deeply humane… a book of remarkable depth, breadth and vitality… open-minded, critically informed and poetic all at the same time… fearless, and full of compassion.”

 In This Interview Andrew and I Discuss…

• The One You Feed parable.
• Using work to make the world a better place.
• The urgent business of living a moral life.
• How to decide what we should change and what we should accept.
• How hope can become the cornerstone of misery.
• The challenges and joys of parenting disabled children.
• The perfectionism of privilege.
• The importance of the choice to celebrate what is versus wishing it to be different.
• How we can grow through difficult circumstances.
• The poison of comparison.
• The idea of the “psychological supermodel”.
• Layering feelings of failure onto depression and how damaging that is.
• Learning to celebrate our difficulties and differences.
• A beautiful and hopeful reading on depression.
• How critical humor is in dealing with depression
• New approaches to treating depression.
• His ongoing challenges with depression and anxiety.
• The shame of mental illness.
• If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes.
• A life that is only luxury and pleasure tends to feel rather hollow and empty.
• How sparing our children from all adversity is a bad idea.
• The choices we face.
• How encounters with darkness give us the energy to feed our good wolf.

Susan Piver is a New York Times bestselling author of 9 books and a renowned Buddhist teacher. This is Susan's second time on the show because we love her and her work so much. Her new book, The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships walks us through the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism as they apply to relationships. You don't have to be a Buddhist or study Buddhism to get a lot out of this conversation and her new book. She teaches universal pieces of wisdom that, when applied, will grow and deepen and enrich your relationships to a whole new level.

Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

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In This Interview, Susan Piver and I Discuss...

• Her book, The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships
• The emotions underneath fear, hatred and greed
• Depression being a calcified sadness
• Turning towards sadness
• The four noble truths of love: Relationships are uncomfortable, Thinking that they should be comfortable contributes to that uncomfortableness, Meeting the discomfort and instability together IS love, There's a threefold path to do all of this
• Feeling your feelings without the story - what does it feel like in your body? In the environment?
• The difference between anger and irritation in the body
• The enormous space that opens up when we drop the expectation that when we solve "this" problem, the relationship will stabilize and we'll be happy
• Look at the problem itself as a team in relationships rather than blaming one another
• The threefold path: Precision, Openness, Going beyond
• The role and importance of good manners and honesty in relationships
• Good manners = thinking of the other person and making some accommodation, some space for them in your actions and your words
• Opening to the other person as they are in a relationship
• Intimacy has no end, it can always go deeper. You can always reveal more and you can always discover more
• In a relationship, commit to intimacy over love
• Addiction and abuse not included in this picture of relationship!
• How you can't think your way into intimacy or inspiration - they come when you make the space
• Passion between two people will constantly arise, abide and dissolve and though difficult, this is not a problem
• Wishing you were in a different part of the cycle is a problem, however
• Relax with what is and a space will open up
• Her take on suffering
• Her beautiful explanation of the concept of non-attachment/detachment
• A spiritual practice frees people up to feel everything in the moment, as it is
• Your life IS the spiritual path
• In meditation we're not trying to get anywhere, we're trying to BE somewhere
• Meditating in't about focusing on something but rather, bringing the brain down from some dreamworld into reality in the moment

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Michael Pollan is a writer whose books have topped the New York Times bestseller list time and time again. He teaches writing at Harvard and The University of California Berkley. In 2010, Time magazine name Michael Pollan one of the most influential people in the world. His books and essays have historically focused on our interaction with nature and this new book takes that theme to a whole other level. Its title gives you a great idea of what it's about: How to Change your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence. No matter how many interviews you've heard of Michael Pollan talking about his new book, our interview will offer you a fresh perspective, things he has not previously discussed and things that you may not have previously considered. The very last concept discussed in Eric's conversation with Michael Pollan will for sure leave you thinking anew.

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In This Interview, Michael Pollan and I Discuss...

• His book, How to Change your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence
• How fear is a big motivator in people's action and inaction
• That your obstacles are all between your ears
• How consciousness is a big mystery
• What the newest science tells us about psychedelics
• The way psychedelics affect us by allowing us to look at normal, everyday consciousness in new ways
• The default mode network going quiet during a psychedelic trip
• The ego, idea of self in the brain and our life
• Psychedelics impact on the sense of self
• The experience of the dissolution of the ego
• The mind-expanding power of mystical experience
• The theory of the entropic brain
• How the brain works to reduce uncertainty and surprise
• The narrowing of consciousness by rigid thinking
• The stories our brains tell us
• Insufficient entropy in the brain perhaps leading to mental illnesses
• Psychedelics disordering the brain
• The similarities between a tripping brain on psychedelics and a meditative brain
• An ego-free state of consciousness through the use of psychedelics
• The mistake of seeing spirituality as the opposite of materialism
• The opposite of spiritual being egotistical
• The ego keeps us from having a deep connection with everything around us
• How psychedelics are "wasted on the young"
• That those in the 2nd half of their lives may benefit most from the use of psychedelics
• The importance of breaking the rigidity that growing older brings
• How psychedelics can help us make peace with our death
• Psilocybin benefiting those facing imminent death with great fear
• How psychedelics and a psychodynamic approach are not opposites
• "Psychedelic assisted psychotherapy"
• Positive trauma in the brain
• Administering an experience rather than a drug
• The importance of set and setting when taking a psychedelic
• How a spiritual experience alone doesn't make a spiritual life
• That ego is nothing but a contraction

 

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Austin Channing Brown is a writer, speaker, and practitioner who helps schools, nonprofits, and religious organizations practice genuine inclusion. She is passionate about the advancement of racial justice and reconciliation and her words will most certainly move you to action. In her work, she shares her experiences as a black woman who "navigates whiteness on a regular basis". After listening to this interview and reading her book, your mind and heart will be broadened towards understanding and inclusion - regardless of where you are on that spectrum today.

 

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In This Interview, Austin Channing Brown and I Discuss...

• Her book, I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in A World Made for Whiteness
• The importance and value of anger
• How we can fight the monsters without becoming the monsters
• That anger reveals something is wrong
• White fragility - sadness and anger
• Naming the things that can come in the way of a discussion, before the discussion happens
• Realising racial bias
• Transformation comes after a moment of realization
• The idea of "whiteness being normal"
• Books to read to gain an understanding of racial injustice
• Disunity in Christ
• Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?: And Other Conversations About Race
• How to look for opportunities to talk with others about topics of racial injustice
• Check out "Be the Bridge"
• The white confessional being a shortcut to true reconciliation
• Skipping the confessional story and moving straight to the action step you'll take next
• What reconciliation means to her
• Racial justice and reconciliation
• Radical Reconciliation
• How reconciliation should revolutionize the relationships we have with each other
• The celebration of blackness that is throughout the book
• Cultural misappropriation

 

 

 

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This week on The One You Feed we have Frank Turner.

In honor of Frank's new record we are re-releasing one of Eric's favorite interviews. This was the 22nd interview of all time for The One You Feed.

We will be back with a new episode next week.

Frank was a singer in a hardcore band, Million Dead. When they broke up he started out on his own with an acoustic guitar. He has released  five solo albums, two rarities compilation albums, one split album and five EPs. His seventh studio album Be More Kind was recently released

In This Interview Frank and I Discuss…

• The One You Feed parable.
• The feeling that there is never enough time.
• The importance of friendship in feeding your good wolf.
• His role as a CALM Ambassador.
• Building a community around music.
• What punk rock meant to him as a kid.
• Staying connected to his values of openness and community as he gets more famous
• Music as a refuge for those that don’t fit in.
• Music that he turns to to feed his good wolf.
• Writing the press release for John K Samson’s latest record.
• The challenges of alcohol and drugs.
• Getting older and the changes in identity that come with that.
• His love of dogs and his amazing “dog policy” at shows
• His forthcoming record.

Frank Turner Links

Frank Turner Homepage

Buy Frank Turner music on Amazon

Frank Turner on Twitter

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Adyashanti is a renowned and gifted spiritual teacher. He's written many books, hosts meditation retreats and speaks around the world to large audiences at a time. With such a wide audience, it's amazing that when you experience Adya's teaching, it's as if he's speaking directly to you - to your very heart. Whatever your experience with or preconceived notions of spiritual awakening, allow yourself to re-engage with the idea through this interview. As you turn the inquiry towards yourself this time, you may be surprised, moved and/or transformed by what you find - if you are brutally honest in the process.

 

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In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss...

• Self-Inquiry
• Starting with I am not _____
• Starting with all inclusiveness - I am _____
• Being open to being wrong about things
• Experiencing an "uncaused" sense of well being
• Self-transcendent values
• It works best in life to ______
• When you have less internal conflict you treat the world in a different way than if you have more internal conflict
• Removing the religious and cultural compass removes the moral north star
• We reorient ourselves to comfort being the north star
• Nothing mattering AND everything mattering
• That Adya is oriented towards truth and love
• Activities are neutral - it's what we bring to it that gives it meaning
• What is it about awakening that you want?
• What is meaningful moment to moment and day by day
• At every moment, we are giving expression to what we value
• How nothing shuts down awakening faster than judgment
• The spiritual persona of "I'm going to get out of this human game" or "I'm going to be here but not really be here"
• The importance of coming to grips with the human experience of imperfection...
• ...without turning it into an excuse for unwise behavior
• Be aware of your human limitations and don't see them as "wrong"
• The problematic experience of existential unworthiness
• The economic catastrophe of a collective human awakening

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Adyashanti is a renowned and gifted spiritual teacher. He's written many books, hosts meditation retreats and speaks around the world to large audiences at a time. With such a wide audience, it's amazing that when you experience Adya's teaching, it's as if he's speaking directly to you - to your very heart. Whatever your experience with or preconceived notions of spiritual awakening, allow yourself to re-engage with the idea through this interview. As you turn the inquiry towards yourself this time, you may be surprised, moved and/or transformed by what you find - if you are brutally honest in the process.our inner life.

 Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

 

In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss...

• Eric's awakening experience
• The awakened state in perpetuity
• The shift in perception that happens with awakening
• The paradox of wanting something like awakening yet wanting it stands in the way of having it
• Will gets you to the cushion and once there, it's important to let go of it
• Does one need a spiritual teacher when seeking awakening?
• The teacher evoking something from vs the teacher giving something to the student
• How people work with unconscious patterns
• How you can't not be awakened - even if you don't feel it, it's there
• Emotional conflict
• Paying attention to what's recurring in you
• Anything that's happened to us that was too big for us to remain conscious while we experienced it, gets trapped in our system - turned into some other emotion or it just gets stuffed and is now just there waiting for you. The universe is now asking, "can you experience this now?"
• Being fine with being sad
• Let everything be exactly the way it is
• How dealing with life's experiences as they come transforms you
• A clinched fist vs an open hand metaphor
• "Let" vs "Let go"
• If you can't let it go, can you let it be
• Failure as part of triumph
• Failing your way through something consciously can cause a sort of transformation
• What it looks like to build a spiritual practice
• Daily quiet meditation, Engage in some precise self-inquiry (a wonderment of "being")
• How spirituality is the direct investigation of YOUR experience
• The only way to get self-inquiry wrong is not to be ruthlessly honest about what's happening in your experience
• The fear of getting something wrong
• Think of your spiritual teacher kind of like a college professor

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Mark Epstein is a psychiatrist in private practice in NYC and the author of many books about the intersection of Buddhism and psychotherapy. He's currently the clinical assistant professor in the postdoctoral program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis at New York University. His most recent book, Advice Not Given; A Guide to Getting Over Yourself is what he talks about in this episode. His wisdom is so incredibly practical, applicable, and helpful. Ideas like whether or not naming your feelings would be a helpful strategy for you and how to work with clinging in its many forms - even the clinging to inner peace - abound in this discussion. Take a listen and enrich your inner life. 

Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

 

In This Interview, Mark Epstein and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, Advice Not Given; A Guide to Getting Over Yourself
• The duality that we all struggle with
• Freud and the Buddha's nearly identical conclusion
• What it means to take personal responsibility for our selfish concerns
• The clinging to that which gives us a sense of control over life
• The clinging to that which nurtures our ego
• The eightfold path of the Buddha
• The conversation with his terminally ill father that inspired this book
• Right View - being realistic about one's self and the nature of things
• How change and death is happening all of the time, moment to moment
• Trying not to try as it relates to meditation
• "Take the backward step" in meditation
• FInding balance in "right effort"
• Exploring the feelings that we are otherwise afraid of through psychotherapy
• The link between being with uncomfortable feelings and empathy to others
• How anything that's happening in the body or mind can be the object of meditation
• How useful it is to name a feeling
• Making a feeling "intelligible" by naming it
• How useful it can be to find where feelings show up in the body
• When your mind is not aware of what's making you act this way (in addiction, compulsive behaviors etc) it's important to put the words on the feelings
• Whether or not all emotions show up in the body
• How clinging takes many forms - even the desire for inner peace
• "Don't chase her, let her find you."
• That our lives are made dull by our efforts to over control things

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Barbara Bonner started as an art historian and then went on to spend much of her professional career in nonprofit management, fundraising and philanthropy. Most relevant to this show, Barbara is the author of two books; Inspiring Generosity and Inspiring Courage. In this episode, she talks about both, using beautiful poetry, powerful quotes, and illustrative real-life stories. If you've ever wanted to cultivate these two qualities in your life, then this episode is for you. If there's one thing Barbara does through her work, it's inspiring action towards both of these qualities in the lives of everyday people.

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In This Interview, Barbara Bonner and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• Her books, Inspiring Generosity and Inspiring Courage
• The power of putting ourselves in the way of inspiration
• How we're different at the end of a book than at the beginning
• Reframing how we look at generosity
• How generosity flows from a sense of abundance
• How a sense of abundance flows from being generous
• That generosity and courage are action verbs
• The fact that you should feel a pinch when you act generously
• That saying the loving-kindness meditation can be generous
• What it means to lead a courageous life
• How no one who was courageous seems to claim courage
• The spontaneity of courage
• How authenticity seems to coincide with courage
• That you see a pattern of courage throughout people's lives
• Post-traumatic growth
• How a strong childhood isn't necessary in order to lead a full life
• The role of listening in generosity and courage
• How important listening is in all of life
• The correlation between generosity and courage
• Practicing generosity and courage and growing the ability to act on these qualities over time
• How to live a life of meaning you have to step forward
• "Do something every day that doesn't compute" - Wendell Berry

 

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Ulrich Boser is a best selling author and senior fellow with The Center for American Progress. He has been a contributing editor for US News and World Report and his work has appeared in the NY Times, Wall Street Journal, and Huntington Post. His latest book, Learn Better: Mastering the Skills for Success in Life, Business or School - or - How to Become an Expert in Just About Anything, will equip you with actual skills to get better at what some have called the ultimate survival tool: learning how to learn. This topic is relevant to literally everyone. To be alive is to learn and grow and change (whether we're aware of it at times or not!) so it's important to sharpen our skills in order to get better at getting better. What is discussed in this episode will confirm some of what you know about how people learn, challenge some beliefs you might have about this topic and teach you a few things in the process that will make you a better student of life.

 

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In This Interview, Ulrich Boser and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, Learn Better: Mastering the Skills for Success in Life, Business or School - or - How to Become an Expert in Just About Anything
• Learning how to learn
• Getting better at getting better
• The ultimate survival tool
• Being actively engaged in the learning process
• Making meaning out of something
• The hypercorrection effect
• Giving our brain time to make sense of the information, reflection
• How critical it is to understand relationships between things
• Varying the circumstances in which we learn/apply information
• How it's easier to remember something new if you can hang it on to something old
• A systematic approach to learning something
• Value: valuing what you're learning
• Target: learning small pieces of info at a time
• Develop: practice & get feedback
• Extend: elaborating on something, looking at it from different angles
• Relate: analogies are the essence of thought, relating something to other things
• Rethink: take time to process information
• Metacognition: thinking about thinking
• What are you going to learn and how will you know that you know it?
• How intertwined emotion and cognition are
• Digestible parts: learn less at a time
• At 90 minutes of learning, adults are kind of done
• Active learning strategies
• Hypotheticals: what would happen if...
• Why it's important to stay away from cramming

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Tim Freke is a truly pioneering philosopher. His many books, talks, and retreats have touched the lives of hundreds of thousands of people worldwide. Tim is the author of 35 books, the newest being Soul Story: Evolution and the purpose of life. As you listen to this interview, your ah-ha moments will grow in scope and scale throughout the conversation. He is a radical thinker and one of the great minds of our time. His big view of where we've been, where we are and where we're going will hit you as perhaps surprising, remarkably realistic and fundamentally inspiring. Listen and see for yourself.

 

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In This Interview, Tim Freke and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, Soul Story: Evolution and the Purpose of Life
• The deeper level of evolution going on inside of ourselves
• The evolution of the psyche
• Perhaps it's all one evolutionary journey: physical evolution, biological evolution and then an evolution of the psyche or soul
• What if rather than the concept of God creating the universe, we've evolved such that we've created a god
• Maybe God is where we're going towards
• In life - the deepest things happen at the end
• An arriving of conscious oneness
• The point of view that life in the world is getting better over time
• Creativity is the heart of the universe
• The great religions of the world were created at a time when people still thought the world is flat. We've moved on and so can our recognition of spirituality
• The ark of time pointing towards a better world now
• Rather than the passing of time, perhaps it's the accumulation of the past meeting the possible.The past meeting the possible
• The weight of the past that can limit us and pull us back
• Paralogical thinking: both AND (not either or)
• Transcend and Include
• How he teaches others to have the experience of "deep awake"
• Allowing vs. Pushing Away
• Being pulled towards the better while living in the present
• Being a spiritual being in an animal, human body
• Cause and Effect, Meaning and Magic - all of the levels are interacting all of the time
• The power of realistic thinking that's inspirational
• Deep Awake: being spiritually awake, you experience the oneness of life and that feels like love
• Waking up doesn't mean we ditch our individuality
• The form of consciousness that comes through our senses which are rooted in the body
• The form of consciousness that is in the psyche and imagination
• The form of consciousness that questions itself and realizes that our essential nature has no form

 

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Cheri Huber is the author of 20 books and has been a student of zen for 35 years. She founded the Mountain View Zen Center and the Zen Monastery Peace Center, both in California, where she and other monks teach workshops and hold retreats. She is also a truth telling, light hearted delight to listen to. In this interview, she talks all about what is going on in our mind and how we can better work with it to produce a better experience in life. Her wisdom is so practical and so powerful. See for yourself in this transformative episode.

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In This Interview, Cheri Huber and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• Her book, I Don't Want To, I Don't Feel Like It: How resistance controls your life and what to do about it
• How the process IS the outcome
• That now is the only moment there is
• How the quality of your life is determined by the focus of your attention
• Everything comes into being, together
• She doesn't believe that there's anything that ISN'T God
• Our dualistic thinking
• All of the ways to refer to the ego
• The unique ability that humans have to experience themselves as other than life
• The ego is a survival system
• Believing we are not connected to life
• Everything is a verb! A gerund
• The illusion of being separate from life
• My ego is the no to life's yes
• Always asking what's lacking, what's missing, what's wrong keeps the ego as the center of the universe
• How we are deeply conditioned for negativity
• Awareness being able to watch the conditioned mind
• I hear it in my head, it sounds like me, it must be me, it's who I am
• Approach the stuff that's going on inside our heads by imagining that it's somebody next to you saying it
• Recording and Listening
• Make recordings of what's true, what I appreciate, what I love
• Hearing what's true for you in your own voice
• Talking ourselves into a life that's true
• How we direct our attention is the be all and end all in life
• We have these tendencies to see what's negative so we need to bring ourselves to what is true that isn't negative
• We transcend the conditioned mind, we don't resist it
• The key is to turn your attention away from the negative voices not to change what they are saying
• The habit of going with the conversation in your head is so powerful
• If we can wake up out of it, we can decide to go somewhere else in our attention
• Hear Cheri Huber talk about her book,  I Don't Want To, I Don't Feel Like It: How resistance controls your life and what to do about it
• Cheri Huber teaches that the process IS the outcome
• Cheri Huber explains what she means by this: your ego is the "no" to life's "yes"
• Do you believe that we are deeply conditioned for negativity or hardwired for negativity?
• Here's a tip: Approach the stuff that's going on inside our heads by imagining that it's somebody next to you saying it
• The quality of your life is determined by the focus of your attention

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Rick Hanson, PhD is a Neuropsychologist, teacher and author of many books. He is the founder of the Wellspring Center for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom and an affiliate of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkley. This is the 2nd time Dr. Hanson has been a guest on the show and we invited him back because of how great his work really is. In this episode, he talks all about the fact that who we become is a result of what we grow inside of ourselves. Using the analogy of tending a garden, he teaches us very practical ways to grow and enrich ourselves through the experiences in our lives. Get a pen and paper - you'll probably want to take notes on this one!

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In This Interview, Rick Hanson and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, Resilient: How to grow an unshakable core of calm, strength, and happiness
• Who we become is a result of what we grow inside ourselves
• How you manage your challenges, protect your vulnerabilities, Increase your resources: out in the world, in the body, and in the mind
• Growing resources in our mind is a good focus
• Converting an experience into lasting change
• Slowing down content delivery so that the nervous system in our brains has a chance to receive it and rewire accordingly
• 5 ways to enrich a beneficial experience:
• Extend the experience (make it longer)
• Intensify the experience (really lean into it)
• Embody the experience (how does it feel in your body and your mind)
• Freshen the experience (see what's novel about it? Bring a beginners mind)
• Value the experience (see the relevance to you)
• Asking what is the challenge? What resource would be the most beneficial?
• The mind is like a garden - to grow things, focus on:
• Mindful witnessing
• Mindful releasing of what's negative
• Mindful receiving (replace what we release or simply receive what would be beneficial)
• Fighting what's negative only makes it work
• Growing a fundamental core of resilient wellbeing
• Safety, Satisfaction, and Connection are basic needs we have
• How it takes time to tend a garden
• How adversity isn't the only way to grow in life
• We have to experience what we want to grow inside
• We have to turn that experience into some kind of lasting change in the brain

 

 

 

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Jeff Warren is a former journalist and more recently is a researcher, writer, and teacher of meditation and personal growth practices. His most recent book, written with Dan Harris, is called, Meditation for Fidgitty Skeptics: A 10% Happier How to Book. Jeff is a likable, relatable guy who carries a lot of practical wisdom in his conversational style of communicating. If you've ever felt like you're not good at meditating or that meditation just isn't for you because your brain never turns off, this interview is for you because that's how Jeff would describe himself, particularly at the beginning of his practice years ago. We all know that meditation is good for us but for many, it just feels inaccessible and out of reach. If that is how you feel, what Jeff has to share in this interview will make that gap shrink in size so much so that you can hop right over it and try again.

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In This Interview, Jeff Warren and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book with Dan Harris, Meditation for Fidgitty Skeptics: A 10% Happier How to Book
• The role of meditation in living with depression
• The voice in our heads
• Not identifying with the voices in our heads
• Coming out of the conversation in our heads
• The idea of "I can't meditate"
• Thinking we're supposed to stop thinking when we meditate
• Changing the relationship with your thoughts
• Focusing on an anchor, getting lost in thought, realizing you're lost in thought and coming back to your anchor = mediation
• How quick we are to conclude that meditation isn't for us
• That meditation is a practice
• Celebrating the coming back from thought in meditation
• Training affability during meditation
• Finding enjoyment and curiosity during meditation
•  Asking "What's the attitude in my mind right now?" during meditation
• That attitude is what you're training during meditation
• Looking at the world with interest
• Equanimity = a lack of pushing and pulling on experience
• Opening to experience so that there's no friction
• When everything has permission to express its self fully

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Sometimes the workplace can get crazy and messy, that's where the podcast Safe For Work comes in. Join the former head of marketing for Nike, NatGeo, and the Oprah Winfrey Network, Liz Dolan and recovering lawyer turned comedian and executive recruiter, Matt Ritter as they take your calls about the workplace and help you get through Monday to Friday with a little less stress, more confidence and a little more fun.

Subscribe to Safe For Work on Apple Podcast, wherever you listen to podcasts or click wondery.fm/safeforwork

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Robert Wright is an author and a scholar. His most recent book, Why Buddhism is True, is an analytical look comparing the ancient concepts of Buddhism and the more recent findings of modern science. The title of his book may be a bit provocative, but we challenge you to hear him out before assuming what he writes about in his book on the topic. We think you'll find this interview thought provoking and interesting as well as instructive and helpful. Whatever your reaction to the episode, we'd love to hear about it.

 

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In This Interview, Robert Wright and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, Why Buddhism is True
• Evolutionary Psychology
• That according to Evolutionary Psychology we're wired to do what's best to propagate our genes into the next generation
• And how sometimes doing that might not be what's best for ourselves or the world
• That we're wired for a recurring dissatisfaction or discontented so we'd keep doing the things that would move us toward our goal of passing our genes on to the next generation
• Craving and Aversion
• Not following craving and aversion as guides are central to Buddhism
• According to Buddhism if we don't run from unpleasant feelings like sadness, anxiety etc, they will actually become less painful over time
• That the Buddha intuited a lot of things that we now know to be true according to modern science and evolutionary psychology
• How our thoughts can sometimes subtlely influence us - ex Cognitive Bias
• Cognitive Bias being driven by emotion rather than being rational & Buddhism teaches that
• The Buddhist conception of the mind/brain and modern psychology's conception of the mind/brain are very aligned
• In the cognitive battle for attention, the thought that "wins" is the one that has the most feeling attached to it
• How meditation can help give you clarity on thoughts and feelings and the difference between the two
• CBT & questioning your thoughts and feelings in Buddhism
• Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
• Allowing and observing rather than acting on our strong feelings
• The anguish we add to physical pain by the anticipation of it or the lamenting of it
• Essences that we impute into things
• The idea of not self and what it means
• The benefit of parceling out the things that we identify - like anxious feelings - as not being ourselves
• Thinking you're not cut out for meditation
• 
  

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We all want answers, but often they aren't forthcoming. Learning to live within and with the questions is a art to learn.

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Catherine Gray is an award-winning writer and editor. Her most recent book is called, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. What a brilliant title and what a brilliant book. In it - and in this interview - Catherine offers so many good ideas, phrases, and pearls of wisdom to take away and keep close by. She shares a bit about her journey to and through sobriety with Eric and the critical "ah ha" moments along the way that really helped her build the life she's living today. If you don't have a revelatory moment when listening to her in this interview, we'll be surprised.

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In This Interview, Catherine Gray and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• Her book, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
• The challenge of training our brains to look for the good stuff in life
• The question: Would my life be better sober? instead of Am I an alcoholic?
• Rock bottom being a different place for different people at different times
• The challenge of moderation
• The beautiful clarity of zero
• The limbic system in distress with indecision
• Controlling vs Enjoying drinking
• Alchohol being like a cheat code in a video game when it comes to inhibition
• That no one regrets being sober
• The awful feelings at the beginning of getting sober are what you feel like because of the drinking, not the getting sober
• Learning the skills to enjoy life sober
• Addictive voice recognition
• Negative Thought Patterns:
• B&B 
• Children in a car
• Bird watching
• That there are many different ways to get sober
• How expectations are resentments under construction
• Day counting in being sober
• I don't vs I can't

 

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Paul Dolan is a Professor of Behavioral Science at the London School of Economics and Political Science. He's an expert on human behavior and happiness. Paul is also the author of the best selling book, Happiness By Design: Change What You Do Not What You Think. We all want happiness in our lives yet happiness is something that so often eludes most people. It seems like a feeling that happens to us rather than a feeling that we can cultivate with intention. In this interview, Paul teaches some really practical, research-based, action-oriented approaches to life that we can take today to increase our feelings of happiness. The first step? Listen to this informative and interesting interview.

 Omax3 Ultrapure go to www.tryomax.com/wolf and try a box for free

In This Interview, Paul Dolan and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, Happiness By Design: Change What You Do Not What You Think
• The power of designing your environment
• Find a balance of purpose and pleasure and you have a happy life
• How a large part of how you feel is connected to what you do
• The role of attention in happiness
• What we think would make us happy vs what does make us happy
• That we're not very good at predicting what will make us happy
• The AREA model
• How we must make sense of what's happened in order to adapt to it
• Key to happiness is also to pay more attention to what makes you happy and less attention to what doesn't make you happy
• Why somethings that are so obvious are so often overlooked
• If you can't change what you do, change what you pay attention to in the experience
• If you want to do something, make it easy for yourself to do it
• Less about willpower and more about design power
• Habit loops
• Queuing your environment, commitment and norm
• Deciding, Designing and Doing
• If you want to do something, make it easy. If you don't want to do something make it hard

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Ellen Bass is a Chancellor of the Academy of American Poets. Her work has won award after award and rightly so - there's something so powerful, beautiful, true and often times darkly funny in her work. She says that writing poetry - as well as reading it - is an inquiry more than a description. Isn't that an interesting perspective to consider?  In this episode, you'll hear her read some of her work, share her insights and experiences in life, talk about the process of writing poetry and offer some ideas that perhaps you had not considered before - especially in the way she does. Regardless of whether or not you think of yourself as a lover of poetry, you'll be touched by this episode.

She is the author of Like a Beggar, The Human Line, Mules of Love, and The Courage to Heal

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 In This Interview, Ellen Bass and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• Her book, Like a Beggar
• That poetry is an inquiry more than a description
• Discovering something about oneself when writing and reading poetry
• Her poem, Relax
• Tasting life
• Thinking about how you are "right now"
• The role of finding similarities in disparate things when using metaphor
• The oneness of the world
• Working hard in the chair to be a poet
• How no one would expect a person to pick up a saxophone and immediately be able to play and the same is true for writing poetry
• Her poem, Asking Directions in Paris
• Using God in her poetry
• Her poem, If You Knew
• How because of mortality, one day, we as individuals are going to lose everything
• That poetry helps us to see deeply into the beauty of things that are right in front of us
• Introducing poetry to others as you would a novel
• The important role of humor
• Poets she mentioned:
• Marie Howe
• Jericho Brown
• Natalie Diaz

 

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Will Schwalbe is an author, entrepreneur, and journalist. He is also perhaps the most delightful, interesting and thoughtful person you've come across in a while. His love of books is infectious and as you know, Eric is a bibliophile himself so when the two talk about books and reading as they do in this episode, the result is one blissful experience. Do you love reading? Did you used to love reading but it's moved out of the spotlight of your life? Have you wanted to cultivate a love of reading? Are you looking for some really wonderful books to read? Are you alive and breathing? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then this interview is for you.

He is the author of  Thoughts on Reading, Reflecting and Embracing Life, The End of Your Life Book Club and SEND: Why People Email So Badly and How to Do It Better

 

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In This Interview, Will Schwalbe and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, Books for Living, Some Thoughts on Reading, Reflecting and Embracing Life
• The importance of reading
• That reading isn't binary
• That every time we read, we become better at reading
• How reading can promote empathy
• How we connect through books
• The practice of "visiting your books"
• How he chooses which book to read next
• The way books can be a bio of your life
• The primary emotion he has at the beginning of reading a book
• Live to work vs work to live
• The freedom to quit
• The freedom of mediocrity
• Good being the enemy of great
• You write the books you need
• That our devices allow us to rob ourselves of silence
• How reading is an art
• The "can't you tell I'm reading" face
• His favorite books that he's read recently that were written recently

Will Schwalbe Links

Homepage

Twitter

Facebook

 

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David Loy is a professor, prolific writer, and teacher in the Japanese Zen Buddhism tradition. Much of his work has to do with what has happened as Buddhism has encountered modern western culture and vice versa. In this episode, we dive into this topic via a discussion of his book, A New Buddhist Path: Enlightenment, Evolution, and Ethics in the Modern World. David presents us with a different lens through which to look at this intersection of cultures which will also thereby change the way you look at yourself.

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 In This Interview, David Loy and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, A New Buddhist Path: Enlightenment, Evolution, and Ethics in the Modern World
• Buddhism in the West today
• The mindfulness movement
• The play between Buddhism and Psychotherapy
• The role of the self
• The danger of spiritual by-pass
• The delicate line of feeling our difficult emotions and foregoing our emotions
• Transcend the world? Adapt to the world? or See the world differently?
• That the sense of self that we think we have is not as solid or real as we think
• How meditation helps us let go of delusional perceptions of the world
• Our true nature
• The true nature of the world
• Buddhism and emptiness
• The sense of self is obscuring the nature or our minds which in themselves have no form or characteristics in and of themselves
• Liberating our awareness from being stuck on things we're thinking about
• A collection of psychological processes that are happening within us
• The process of trying to find the self
• Realizing the truth of "that which is looking is that which we are looking for"
• Non-dualism
• The illusion perpetuated by a sense of lack
• Pursuing "things" to deal with the sense of lack because we don't really know what else to do to deal with it
• Consumerism
• Greed
• Ill will
• Our militarized society
• The institutionalized systems that are running of their own accord
• The duality of good vs evil and vilifying the "other" in the Judeo Christian West
• The importance of personal transformation in our cultural transformation
• What Buddhism is loosing as it moves into the modern world
• What Buddhism is gaining as it moves into the modern world
• The meditative and contemplative practices of Buddhism that can help us transform ourselves
• Social transformation and Individual transformation

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When you are feeling down is it better to push yourself to do the things you know are good for you or should you allow yourself to take it easy and do less? Depends....

If you like these mini episodes donate to our Patreon campaign and get an extra mini episode per month.

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Leah Weiss wears many hats: she's a researcher, professor, consultant, and author. Much of her work to date has surrounded cultivating compassion in the workplace. Her upcoming book, to be released in March 2018, ventures into the realm of bringing mindfulness into the workplace. It turns out, it's not only possible to do so, but it completely transforms the way people experience their work for the better. Hate your job? This interview is PERFECT for you. But you don't have to hate your job to get a lot out of it. Leah Weiss can help you elevate your experience at work no matter your starting point of happiness. 

In This Interview, Leah Weiss and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• Her book How We Work: Live Your Purpose, Reclaim Your Sanity and Embrace the Daily Grind
• The importance of and impact of our experience at work
• Mindfulness: the intentional use of attention
• The illusion of multitasking
• Looking differently at what we're already doing vs doing something differently
• Taking all of your life onto the path
• How mindfulness helps you transform the experience
• The importance of directing our attention to something we've been avoiding because it's painful
• How the strategy of avoidance or resistance leads us to be more unhappy
• The three types of mindfulness training that we can bring to work
• Being in your body
• Metacognition
• Focus
• The Pomodoro Technique
• Our crazy streams of consciousness
• Eudaimonic happiness vs Hedonic happiness
• A helpful strategy for dealing with people who annoy you - in life and at work

 

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Andy Couturier lived in rural Japan many years ago and it changed his life. As he lived alongside people who were living profoundly satisfying lives, he learned what they were doing (or not doing!) to achieve this level of satisfaction and then he wrote about it in his book, The Abundance of Less: Lessons in Simple Living from Rural Japan. In this interview, Andy shares this wisdom and his experiences in such a way that you can apply the concepts in a practical manner in your life starting today.

This episode is sponsored by Health IQ. Get lower rates on life insurance if you are health conscious. Get free quote here

and by Hello Fresh- Get $30 off your first order by going to hellofresh.com and using the promo code FEED30 at checkout

 

In This Interview, Andy Couturier and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, The Abundance of Less: Lessons in Simple Living From Rural Japan
• His time living in rural Japan
• That the people in rural Japan do not use money to entertain themselves
• Their way of life is slow, humble, connected to their community and time for individual contemplation
• How they don't suffer from "time poverty"
• That all life is connected in rural Japan
• Because there is less to do, the garner more enjoyment from each task
• The consumerism and busy characteristics of the industrialized west
• How "convenience speeds you up"
• Ways to make meaningful strides towards living a lifestyle inspired by the lifestyle in rural Japan
• Simplify simplify simplify
• Travel less, know your home city better
• Make meaningful connections with friends by spending more time together
• Diving deeper into things in your life in a methodical, thoughtful way
• I love doing _____. Wouldn't it be wonderful to spend more time doing it?
• Ways to make time for what we care about
• How they live profoundly satisfying lives in rural Japan
• That you don't have to "go back in time" to live this kind of life
• Building his house entirely with hand tools

 

 

 

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Dillan Digiovanni used to be a really angry activist. He believed his anger was an important driver to fuel his work to inspire change in the world. Then he had a revelation: His anger wasn't working. It was driving other people away and it was toxic to himself. Where his path led him from there has turned out to be quite an adventure. He's now an activist without the energy of anger and he now identifies as a man. This interview will inspire you to live your truth. It will inspire you to examine your own life and be better because of it. This important conversation is not only relevant to the issues of today, but it proves to be perennially relevant to how we decide to live our lives in the skin we're in.

This episode is sponsored by Health IQ. Get lower rates on life insurance if you are health conscious. Get free quote here

and by Casper

 

In This Interview, Dillan DiGiovanni and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• How, as an activist, his anger was driving people away
• That there's no right way to do anything
• If you're angry all of the time you're constantly looking for the threat
• His gender identity transition
• That anger can be a healthy thing
• Searching for the feeling that's underneath the anger
• The harm in being angry at people for being ignorant about an issue
• The way anger impacts your perspective on life and other people
• The harm in saying "they did this because..." when what you're working with is an assumption
• His relationship to anger now that he's awake to it
• The power of "allowing" vs "resisting"
• His story of transitioning his gender identity
• Resilience
• How to live in the world when no one person understands all of you
• The anger that arises when your expectations about how other people should behave aren't met
• The power of meeting people where they really are
• How to work with your vision about how the world should be
• The power of the serenity prayer
• What happened when he let go of his anger as an activist
• His Buddhist tradition
• Having a meditation practice

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Dr. Elissa Epel knows a lot about the science of stress. As a health psychologist, she specializes in research surrounding the role Telomeres and their length play in our body's response to stress. In this episode, she explains how the choices we make emotionally, about our thought patterns, our lifestyle etc directly affects our biology in a very clear and measurable way. It turns out, our thoughts and our behavior have a measurable impact on our biology at a cellular level and there are things that we can do to make that impact a positive one. When it comes to telomeres, in most cases, the longer the better and you can do things to impact that variable of length starting today. She is the coauthor with Nobel winner Dr. Elizabeth Blackburn of the book The Telomere Effect: A Revolutionary Approach to Living Younger, Healthier and Longer

This episode is sponsored by Health IQ. Get lower rates on life insurance if you are health conscious. Get free quote here

 

In This Interview, Elissa Epel and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• Her book, The Telomere Effect: A Revolutionary Approach to Living Younger, Healthier and Longer
• That genes load the gun and environment pulls the trigger
• How at least 50% of the variance of whether we die early, get sick etc is our behavior, which is shaped by our psychological experience
• What a telomere is and their role in aging
• Keeping them long, and sturdy and stable throughout our lives
• That in mid-life, shorter telomeres predict getting diseases of aging, earlier (cancer is an exception)
• That telomere length can be epigenetic
• The role of inflammation in our health
• Inflamm-aging
• An anti-inflammatory diet
• Depression and telomere length
• The challenge response
• That not ruminating on a stressor can lead to a quicker psychological recovery which leads to a quicker physiological recovery
• Linguistic Self Distancing = improved stress resilience
• It's not about avoiding stress, it's about coping with stress in a way that doesn't amplify the stress in our mind in a prolonged way
• Time distancing

Steve Hagen is the founder and teacher of the Dharma Field Zen Center in Minneapolis, MN and the author of several books on Buddhism, including Buddhism Plain and Simple which is one of the top five best selling books on Buddhism in the United States. In this episode, Steve teaches us about several Buddhist concepts that are often misunderstood: Wholeness vs Unwholesomeness, Perception vs Conception and Belief vs Knowledge. Knowing the true meaning of these ideas will give you great freedom as you seek the enlightenment that is your true nature.

This episode is sponsored by Health IQ and Casper

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In This Interview, Steve Hagen and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, Buddhism Plain and Simple
• The Horse and the Farmer parable
• Wholeness vs Unwholesome
• Consider the welfare of other beings in all you do
• Awareness
• Perception (the immediate, direct experience) vs Conception (our construct of things)
• Belief vs Knowledge
• That we can't arrive at truth through conception
• That enlightenment is with us all of the time, we're just not aware of it
• That enlightenment is our natural state
• The idea of "stream" as self, the Buddha said
• That the way things appear to be is more of a construct than a reality
• How picking and choosing is the mind's worst disease
• Noticing how the mind leans a certain way
• That a Buddha is a person who is awake
• The power of simply observing something about ourselves rather than trying to put a stop to it or judging it
• The Story about the 84 Problems

 

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Johann Berlin has worked with some of the world's greatest leaders, Fortune 500 companies, has spoken at a Ted conference and is in the process of writing a book about what it means to live a fulfilling life. Have you ever found yourself hating your day job? Wishing you could do the thing you truly love? Not sure what would make you happy at work but you know what you're doing now isn't helping? In this episode, Johann shares really helpful and practical approaches that you can start applying today in order to bring more meaning and fulfillment into your daily life - both at work and otherwise.

Johann Berlin is the CEO of TLEX U.S. Johann has grown TLEX nationwide and into leading institutions and Fortune 500 companies. Prior to joining TLEX, Johann scaled boutique triple bottom line and social sector companies from concept to high-impact with a special focus on innovative and disruptive wellness, leadership, innovation initiatives with the project being mentioned in Harvard Business Review, New York Times, and Wharton Journal.

Johann has participated as a speaker/facilitator at TEDx London, Stanford Center for Compassion, Harvard Executive MBA Alumni Summit, Wharton School of Business, UC Berkeley’s Leadership Symposium, Yale School of Management, Impact Investor Sustainatopia Conference, GE HealthCare’s Health Ahead Summit Paris, and Dartmouth on Purpose.

In This Interview, Johann Berlin and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• That what you put your attention on grows
• What love means in a corporate environment
• The difference between a question and a wonder
• Moving from desire to finding things that bring you contentment
• It's not always what you do but that you have meaningful relationships at work
• "Do service", doing things with honor, treating things as special
• How if you hate your job, you don't have the energy to do the things you love
• What you resist, persists
• Suppressing your thoughts
• How hating your job causes you to suffer
• His troubled youth
• The role that the kindness of other people has played in his life
• His three reflections on kindness:
• We choose who we are kind to
• No act is too small
• The starfish story
• Don't lose hope
• Choosing to show up in the moment
• If you honor the moment, you can choose to show up for it
• Living wisely with the changing, advancing age

Johann Berlin Links

Homepage

Twitter 

 

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Andrea Lieberstein can teach you how to nourish your whole self so that you can have a healthier relationship with food. What does that mean? Well, often, we turn to food to nourish parts of our lives that it is not equipped to nourish. Have you ever turned to food to soothe anxiety or stress? This is a really common way that we ask food to do something that it's not meant to do. In this episode, Andrea teaches specific strategies for how to bring mindfulness into the act of eating. These practical, multi-pronged approaches are ones that you can bring to your very next encounter with food.

Andrea Lieberstein is a mindfulness-based registered dietitian nutritionist, mindful eating (MB-EAT) and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) instructor and coach, trainer, and registered yoga instructor has specialized in helping people transform their lives for over 25 years. She leads mindfulness meditation and mindful eating trainings and retreats at retreat centers across the country and internationally. Her individual coaching sessions are accessible to anyone through phone or a virtual video office. She utilizes Mindfulness-Based Eating Awareness Training (MB-EAT), MBSR, MSC (Mindful Self-Compassion) and other mindfulness-based and mindful eating practices in her private practice working with individuals on a wide range of disordered eating, healthy weight management, body image and stress-related issues and health concerns.

Her latest book is called: Well Nourished: Mindful Practices to Heal Your Relationship with Food Feed Your Whole Self, and End Overeating

In This Interview, Andrea Lieberstein and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• Her book, Well Nourished: Mindful Practices to Heal Your Relationship with Food Feed Your Whole Self, and End Overeating
• The importance of what we pay attention to
• The 8 bodies that we can nourish
• Being "fully resourced"
• Identifying your intention to have a better relationship with food
• Bringing mindful awareness to our eating triggers and our own bodies
• Learning to tune into hunger, fullness, cravings
• Making conscious, informed choices when it comes to food
• Honoring ourselves and appreciating others at holiday mealtimes
• Savoring our food so that we're really present and not on autopilot
• A mindful check-in: Pause, Deep Breaths, Ask "What is Present?"/"What's Going on Here?", Ask, "What do I really need right now?", Take a moment to reflect on your food
• Highly processed food
• The myth of needing to wait 20 minutes to know whether or not we're full
• Satisfaction at mealtime
• Making one meal or snack a day a silent one
• The 8 Bodies we need to Nourish: Physical, Emotional, Psychological, Social, Intellectual, Creative, Spiritual, and Worldly Nourishment
• How to deal with emotions in other ways than turning to food
• "Surfing the urge"
• Loving-kindness and cravings

 

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Dr. Jon Mills is back and in this episode we discuss a paper that talks about self stigmatization and the "why try" effect.

Self-stigma and the “why try” effect: impact on life goals and evidence-based practices

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2694098/

Many individuals with mental illnesses are troubled by self-stigma and the subsequent processes that accompany this stigma: low self-esteem and self-efficacy. “Why try” is the overarching phenomenon of interest here, encompassing self-stigma, mediating processes, and their effect on goal-related behavior. In this paper, the literature that explains “why try” is reviewed, with special focus on social psychological models. Self-stigma comprises three steps: awareness of the stereotype, agreement with it, and applying it to one’s self. As a result of these processes, people suffer reduced self-esteem and self-efficacy. People are dissuaded from pursuing the kind of opportunities that are fundamental to achieving life goals because of diminished self-esteem and self-efficacy. People may also avoid accessing and using evidence-based practices that help achieve these goals. The effects of self-stigma and the “why try” effect can be diminished by services that promote consumer empowerment.

Peter Block pursues the big questions in his life. What does that mean? Well, after listening to this episode, you'll know and I'll bet you'll do it, too. Peter has such a way with words that when he chooses them and puts them together, deep, profound wisdom is conveyed. It may be 4 words he speaks, but the truth behind them humans have experienced since the beginning of time. In this episode, he introduces you to perspectives on the free market consumer ideology that will set you free. Does it sound like I'm overpromising? You be the judge. (Hint: I'm not).

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 Peter Block is an author, consultant and citizen of Cincinnati, Ohio. His work is about empowerment, stewardship, chosen accountability, and the reconciliation of community.

Peter is the author of several best selling books. The most widely known being Flawless Consulting: A Guide to Getting Your Expertise Used.  In addition, he has published Community: The Structure of Belonging, The Abundant Community: Awakening the Power of Families and Neighborhoods, and The Answer to How Is Yes: Acting on What Matters

The books are about ways to create workplaces and communities that work for all. They offer an alternative to the patriarchal beliefs that dominate our culture. His work is to bring change into the world through consent and connectedness rather than through mandate and force.

He is a partner in Designed Learning, a training company that offers workshops designed by Peter to build the skills outlined in his books. He received a Masters Degree in Industrial Administration from Yale University in 1963; he performed his undergraduate work at the University of Kansas.

Peter serves on the Boards of Directors of Cincinnati Classical Public Radio; Elementz, a Hip Hop center for urban youth; and LivePerson, a provider of online engagement solutions. He is on the Advisory Board for the Festival in the Workplace Institute, Bahamas. He is the first Distinguished Consultant-in-Residence at Xavier University. With other volunteers in Cincinnati, Peter began A Small Group, whose work is to create a new community narrative and to bring his work on civic engagement into being.

His latest book is called: An Other Kingdom: Departing the Consumer Culture

In This Interview, Peter Block and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, An Other Kingdom: Departing the Consumer Culture
• "I shop, therefore I am"
• The 4 pillars of the free market consumer ideology under which we live: Scarcity, Certainty, Perfection, and Privatisation
• If we believe in scarcity, then it's "I win, You loose" or "You win, I lose"
• The scarcity mindset is a lie
• We are drawn to leaders who give us the feeling of certainty
• "A high control civilization"
• The longing for perfection, or "Is something wrong with me?"
• Privatisation, or the implementation of Scarcity, Certainty, and Perfection
• Privatisation says that you cannot trust the collective
• In order to live the first 3 pillars, it's me vs the government
• Perhaps, rather than happiness, freedom, and meaning are the point
• The importance of having a purpose
• Have we rendered our youth and the elderly purposeless?
• The problem with consumerism is that no matter how much you have, it's never enough
• The creation of modernism
• Neighborliness and Covenant
• His book, The Answer to How is Yes
• That questions bring us together and answers alienate us
• That sadness isn't a problem to be solved, rather, part of being human
• If someone can convince you that something is wrong with you, they have control over you

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Shozan Jack is a fascinating guy. He grew up in a Catholic home, studied philosophy, has been a stand-up comedian and has authored two books and many essays. He's got the gift of striking your funny bone in one sentence and then in the very next sentence, striking the center of your heart and mind in a profound way. In this episode, which is part 2 of a two-part interview, you'll hear him talk about his experience living as a monk inside of a Buddhist monastery, being a monk alongside Leonard Cohen, dealing with a sex scandal at his monastery, and what it has been like to transition into living his life back in the world and the many teachings with great wisdom along the way.

 -------------

Shozan Jack Haubner is the pen name of a Zen monk whose essays have appeared in The Sun, Tricycle, Buddhadharma, and the New York Times, as well as in the Best Buddhist Writing series. The winner of a 2012 Pushcart Prize, he is also the author of Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk.

His latest book is called: Single White Monk: Tales of Death, Failure, and Bad Sex (Although Not Necessarily in That Order)

In This Interview, Shozan Jack Haubner and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His new book, Single White Monk: Tales of Death, Failure, and Bad Sex (Although Not Necessarily in That Order)
• How Leonard Cohen spent his time as a Buddhist monk in the monastery
• The union of contrary things
• His take on Leonard Cohen's last album
• The opposite of despair for Leonard Cohen isn't happiness, it's clarity
• The sex scandal involving his teacher
• His experience leaving the monastery
• What's next for him in his life
• His conversation with a Christian priest about fighting demons
• Suffering = pain + resistance
• Letting feelings come and go
• He calls himself the "middle manager of the middle way"
• The middle way involves dissolving the distance between self and other, in complete giving, in either receiving or initiating.
• Also, the middle way is not picking one thing OR another
• The importance of walking your path when it comes to learning
• His experience taking Ayahuasca

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Shozan Jack is a fascinating guy. He grew up in a Catholic home, studied philosophy, has been a stand-up comedian, has authored two books and many essays, was a screenwriter and poet and currently lives as a Zen monk and priest. He's got the gift of striking your funny bone in one sentence and then in the very next sentence, striking the center of your heart and mind in a profound way. In this episode, which is part one of a two-part interview, you'll hear him explain the Buddhist concept of "no-self" in such a way that it finally makes sense, hear how even Zen monks chase success and yes - his experience with an opium high and being given a death sentence (spoiler alert: he's still alive).

 Shozan Jack Haubner is the pen name of a Zen monk whose essays have appeared in The Sun, Tricycle, Buddhadharma, and the New York Times, as well as in the Best Buddhist Writing series. The winner of a 2012 Pushcart Prize, he is also the author of Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk.

His latest book is called: Single White Monk: Tales of Death, Failure, and Bad Sex (Although Not Necessarily in That Order)

In This Interview, Shozan Jack Haubner and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His new book, Single White Monk: Tales of Death, Failure, and Bad Sex (Although Not Necessarily in That Order)
• How it's not about good and evil but rather, where do each come from?
• The idea of no self
• Who am I vs. Where am I?
• That the self is not fixed and it's not solid
• The self is porous, co-dependent arising through relationships with our surroundings
• That the worship of success thwarts true fulfillment
• "No attachment to an outcome"
• An opium high and a death sentence

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Tasha Eurich is an organizational psychologist who is passionate about researching self-awareness and translating that research into practical, actionable information to aid in our discovery and improvement of our own self-awareness. In this interview, you'll be introduced to fascinating scientific research about self-awareness and you'll end up being equipped with some very helpful tools to gauge and grow your own. Since research shows that 95% of people think that they're very self-aware but in reality, only 10% actually are, statistically speaking, you're probably going to want to listen to this episode.

 Tasha Eurich is a workplace psychologist, speaker, author, and principal of The Eurich Group. She helps organizations succeed by improving the effectiveness of their leaders and teams. She works with executives in Fortune 500 organizations and serves on the faculty of the Center for Creative Leadership. Her articles have appeared in several magazines and journals including Chief Learning Officer Magazine, The Journal of Business Psychology, and The Work Style Magazine. Her first book, Bankable Leadership: Happy People, Bottom-Line Results, and the Power to Deliver Both, was published in 2013.

 

Her latest book is called: Insight: Why We're Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life 

 In This Interview, Tasha Eurich and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• Her book, Insight: Why We're Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life 
• How self-awareness is the single most important but least examined determinate of success and failure
• The meta-skill of the 21st century
• That it took a year to review 800 studies and subsequently define self-awareness
• How self-awareness is made up of 2 types of knowledge of ourselves: internal self-awareness (how we see ourselves) and external self-awareness (how others see us)
• That 95% of people think that they're very self-aware but the research shows that we're not as self-aware as we think we are - about 10% actually are
• The 7 pillars of self-awareness:
• They understand their values
• They understand their passions
• They understand their aspirations
• They understand their "fit"
• They understand their patterns
• They understand their reactions (momentary reactions to the world, our strengths, and our weaknesses)
• They understand the impact they have on other people
• How to do an audit on the 7 pillars to determine your levels of self-awareness
• That a lot of us actually don't want to know the truth
• Braver but wiser
• 3 blind spots: Knowledge blindness, Emotion blindness, and Behavior blindness
• The cult of self
• Self-absorption vs self-awareness
• How it's easier to feel great about ourselves rather than taking the steps to actually become great
• Pairing self-awareness with self-acceptance
• The role of rumination
• Asking what instead of why
• The role of our past in self-awareness
• A daily check-in

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Eric chats with Anne Bogel of What Should I Read Next? about their favorite episodes on each other podcasts!

Feast on these shows @ www.Wondery.com/Thanksgiving  

The One You Feed Binge:

• Good Life Project - Interview with Dani Shapiro
• Hardcore History - Blueprint for Armageddon
• Buddha at the Gap Pump - Culadasa
• On Being - John O’Donohue
• Sound Opinions - Ep 606 The Year That Punk Broke

What Should I Read Next? Binge:

• The Popcast with Knox and Jamie - Ep 212 The Nos of Social Media
• Sorta Awesome with Megan Tietz - Ep 121 Boundaries for the holidays
• The West Wing Weekly - Ep 1 Pilot
• Another Round - Ep 55 #1000BlackGirlBooks
• Note to Self - I Didn't See Your Text

Scott Kiloby is a non-dual teacher who wants to help you and others experience awareness and no self in this lifetime. He helps people recover from addiction and has published a powerful book, the contents of which he discusses In this interview. Specifically, he describes portals to recognizing awareness that you can try immediately. It's a different way of approaching a transformational way of life and you won't want to miss it.

Scott Kiloby is a noted author and international speaker on the subject of freedom through non-dual recognition (authentic spiritual awakening as it is taught in the East).

He is the author of seven books and has traveled the world extensively giving lectures, workshops and intensives on spiritual awakening and the healing of addiction, anxiety, depression and trauma.

Scott is the co-founder of the Kiloby Center for Recovery in Palm Springs California, the first addiction, anxiety, depression, and trauma Intensive Outpatient Program to focus primarily on mindfulness. Scott is also the co-owner of the Natural Rest House, a detox and residential center in La Quinta, California.

His books include  Living Realization: A simple, plain English guide to non-duality, Natural Rest for Addiction: A Radical Approach to Recovery Through Mindfulness and Awareness and The Unfindable Inquiry: One Simple Tool to Overcome Feelings of Unworthiness and Find Inner Peace

 In This Interview, Scott Kiloby and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, Living Realization: A simple, plain English guide to non-duality
• The definition of non-duality
• Non-dual awakening
• That the ego is a suffering mechanism
• The false self
• The possibility of waking up from a separate self mentality
• How we are not our thoughts, we are the thinker of our thoughts
• The necessity of experiencing awareness
• Portals to recognizing awareness
• Let all appearances be as they are
• The power of not resisting what is happening
• Suffering = Pain + Resistance
• Seeing that all appearances are inseparable
• Life as a seamless reality & the thoughts that break things up
• The fact that seeking has resistance in it
• Self-inquiry
• The persistence of trauma, shame, addiction and the core story

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Dr. Eric Maisel is a prolific writer, to say the least. His numerous publications span the human experience and explore how to interact with the various situations that one may encounter. In this interview, he discusses a couple of his books and spends a great deal of time explaining how he thinks depression should be treated vs how it is currently being diagnosed and treated. It's a different way of thinking about this subject and if it's a topic you're interested in, you owe yourself a listen.

This week we talk to Eric Maisel

Eric Maisel, Ph.D., is is the author of more than 40 books. His titles include, Why Smart People Hurt, Making Your Creative Mark, The Van Gogh Blues, Mastering Creative Anxiety, and Creativity for Life

In addition, Dr. Maisel is at the forefront of the movement to rethink mental health. He writes the Rethinking Psychology blog for Psychology Today and among his books in this area are Rethinking Depression and The Future of Mental Health.

His latest book is called Overcoming Your Difficult Family: 8 Skills for Thriving in Any Family Situation.

 In This Interview, Eric Maisel and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, Overcoming Your Difficult Family: 8 Skills for Thriving in Any Family Situation
• His book, The Future of Mental Health
• The smartness to understand what's going on with your family
• The strength to make the changes that you need to make
• The strength to be calm, or have a difficult conversation
• Having clarity about what's going on
• Awareness of the situation
• The courage to make change because change has consequences
• The skill of presence
• Being resilient - family members, especially siblings, don't go away like other relationships
• Visualizing the "calmness switch" within you
• The importance of learning one anxiety management tool because you will have anxiety in life
• How you name the problem often directs you to the situation
• The importance of language
• The importance of knowing the causes of things regarding your health
• Living intentionally, identifying your life purposes and making meaning in your life
• How thinking that all we are is matter, chemicals etc can lead people to feel less excited about living
• Each person has to make the decision to opt to matter, to decide that you matter and that your decisions matter
• The cultural trance of tv
• www.madinamerica.com
• Stigmatization of mental health
• The three parts of personality: Original Personality, Formed Personality, Available Personality

Maia Szalavitz is an American reporter and author who has focused much of her work on the topic of addiction. In this paradigm-shifting interview, she explains what she means by claiming that addiction is a learning disorder, a developmental disorder. It's a different way of thinking of addiction than it being a disease or a moral failing. As a result, it has different implications for how it should then be treated. Some of what Maia has to say is polarising and some will immediately make intuitive sense and you'll ask yourself why you haven't thought that way before. Take a listen to what she has to say and let us know what you think.

Maia Szalavitz is one of the premier American journalists covering addiction and drugs. She is co-author of Born for Love and The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, both with Dr. Bruce D. Perry. Her book, Help at Any Cost is the first book-length exposé of the “tough love” business that dominates addiction treatment. She writes for TIME.com, VICE, the New York Times, Scientific American Mind, Elle, Psychology Today and Marie Claire among others.

Her latest book is Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction

 In This Interview, Maia Szalavitz and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• Her book, Unbroken Brain: Why Addiction is a Learning Disorder and Why it Matters
• That your brain becomes what it does - that the more you repeat an activity, the easier it becomes
• How addiction is a developmental disorder
• That learning is critical to addiction
• The problems with discussion about addiction as a disease
• Arguing that addiction is a disease and then treating it like a moral failing
• How addiction resets your priorities and therefore you'll make very different decisions
• Addiction = compulsive behavior that continues despite negative consequences
• How illogical it is then to try and address addiction by focusing on implementing additional negative consequences
• The complexity of addiction, genes + culture + timing
• The developmental history that gets you to addiction
• How the drug isn't the problem and our efforts to simply get rid of it isn't a helpful solution
• Addiction as a learning disorder that is characterized by a resistance to punishment
• The problem with "rock bottom" is that it can only be identified retrospectively, it's not helpful scientifically, and it implies a moral component of having to reach a point of extreme degradation before you can stop
• What the motivation is that turns people to recovery
• How addicts keep using because they can't see how they can survive any other way and recovery begins when you start to see that there are other options
• That people with addiction are living at a point of learned helplessness, so the role of hope and other ways of managing their life is critical to recovery and it can start before they quit their drug(s) of choice
• Addiction as a coping mechanism
• The pleasures of the hunt vs the pleasures of the feast
• Wanting vs Liking
• Different motivational states
• Addiction as escalating wanting
• Stimulants and an escalating cycle of never being satisfied and chasing that satisfaction
• 12 Step Programs: are they effective? are they useful?
• The role of medicine in a developmental disorder
• Looking at addicts as students who need to learn better coping skills rather than sinners who need to be forced to repent
• That people who are addicted are PEOPLE and we need to treat them that way

Lewis Howes is a lot of things. He's been an athlete, a podcast host, an author. He's worn a lot of masks, you could say. In fact, that's exactly what he says in his new book and in this episode. He talks about how wearing these masks has not served him well in his life. In this interview, you'll hear him talk about the various types of masks men wear to protect themselves from being vulnerable, from showing their true selves. While it might "work" on the outside, it destroys them on the inside and we see the manifestations of it in our society today.

Before Lewis Howes became a media sensation for empowering people and sharing 'Greatness' across the globe, he had his share of obstacles to overcome. From having a learning disability, which led to being alone and bullied in school, to being sexually abused as a child, to being injured and broke on his sister’s couch, Lewis’s story is the perfect example of how anybody can overcome the obstacles in their life and achieve greatness. Fast forward a few short years, and Lewis is a New York Times Bestselling author of the hit book, The School of Greatness and author of his latest book, The Mask of Masculinity. He is a lifestyle entrepreneur, high performance business coach and keynote speaker. A former professional football player and two-sport All-American, he is a current USA Men’s National Handball Team athlete. He hosts a top 100 podcast in the world, The School of Greatness, which has over 40 million downloads since it launched in 2013. He was recognized by The White House and President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30. Lewis has been featured on Ellen, The New York Times, People, Forbes, Inc, Fast Company, ESPN, Sports Illustrated, Men’s Health, The Today Show and other major media outlets.

 

In This Interview, Lewis Howes and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• His book, The Masks of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships and Live Their Fullest Lives
• How the masks he used to wear created success on the outside but destroyed him on the inside
• How male violence comes from men who are hurting on the inside
• The know-it-all mask
• The invincible mask
• The joker mask
• The material mask
• The sexual mask
• The athlete mask
• The aggressive mask
• How important it is to live in service and lift others up
• That the comparison game can crush us
• How the real you is underneath all of the masks you wear
• How he works on maintaining his real self on the outside
• That when he lets the mask take over, he's showing weakness because it has power over him
• How he really wants to show up in the world
• How women talk about struggles very often with their female friends but men do not
• How unhealed pain causes pain somewhere else

Poe Ballentine is a great writer. Thank goodness for that because it's through his gift and skill of writing that we get a glimpse into the experiences of his life which reach us at a moving level of beauty, truth, humility, and struggle. In this interview, you'll hear him talk about these things and the gift you'll get as a result is the knowledge and comforting feeling of knowing you are not alone in your struggles through life. You'll learn through hearing what he's learned about self-growth and self-improvement. Give yourself the gift of listening to this episode. You won't be sorry.

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Poe Ballantine is a fiction and nonfiction writer known for his novels and especially his essays, many of which appear in The Sun. One of Ballantine’s short stories was included in Best American Short Stories 1998 and two of his essays have appeared in the Best American Essays series. His essays and short stories have also appeared in the Coal City Review, Kenyon Review, and Atlantic Monthly. Tom Robbins said " Poe Ballantine is the most soulful, insightful, funny, and altogether luminous “under-known” writer in America"

His books include Love and Terror on the Howling Plains of Nowhere, Guidelines for Mountain Lion Safety, 501 Minutes to Christ: Personal Essays and Things I Like About America: Personal Essays

In This Interview, Poe Ballantine and I Discuss...

• The Wolf Parable
• Finding himself or becoming someone else
• The Moral Mechanism of the Molecule
• Asking, in your own experience - rather than simply in ideas, what do you know?
• How he found his way out of despair
• Doing enough work to exonerate yourself
• How important it is as an artist, creator to be hyper-aware of your life and environment
• The price of individualism in America
• How he loves to take care of his wife and son
• How difficult it is to be married
• That marriage is the molecular foundation of our society
• His book - a true crime story, Love and Terror on the Howling Plains of Nowhere

 

Poe Ballantine Links

Homepage

Poe Ballantine writings from The Sun

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  Robert Thurman is the leading American expert on Tibetan Buddhism and he has recently written a book called Man of Peace: The Illustrated Life Story of the Dali Lama of Tibet. Whether you embrace the teachings of Buddhism or not, this episode will educate you on powerful approaches to growing in wisdom and it will also paint a beautiful picture of how the concepts of Tibetan Buddhism apply in today's world. More than meditation and mindfulness, Robert Thurman gets to the heart of what the Dali Lama is working to achieve for all beings to have peace and enlightenment.   This week we talk to Robert Thurman Robert Thurman is Professor of Indo-Tibetan Buddhist Studies in the Department of Religion at Columbia University, President of Tibet House US, a non-profit organization dedicated to the preservation and promotion of Tibetan civilization, and President of the American Institute of Buddhist Studies. The New York Times recently hailed him as "the leading American expert on Tibetan Buddhism." The first American to have been ordained a Tibetan Buddhist monk and a personal friend of the Dalai Lama for over 40 years, Professor Thurman is a passionate advocate and spokesperson for the truth regarding the current Tibet-China situation and the human rights violations suffered by the Tibetan people under Chinese rule. Professor Thurman also translates important Tibetan and Sanskrit philosophical writings and lectures and writes on Buddhism, particularly Tibetan Buddhism; on Asian history, particularly the history of the monastic institution in the Asian civilization; and on critical philosophy, with a focus on the dialogue between the material and inner sciences of the world's religious traditions. Popularizing the Buddha's teachings is just one of Thurman's creative talents. He is a riveting speaker and an author of many books on Tibet, Buddhism, art, politics and culture, including Essential Tibetan Buddhism, The Tibetan Book of the Dead,  Infinite Life: Seven Virtues for Living Well, Inner Revolution, The Jewel Tree of Tibet, and Why the Dalai Lama Matters. His latest book is a graphic biography of the Dalai Lama called Man of Peace: the illustrated life story of the Dalai Lama of Tibet   In This Interview, Robert Thurman and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable His book Man of Peace: the illustrated life story of the Dalai Lama of Tibet Buddha Nature and Buddhahood Enlightenment: When you get it, you realize that you've always had it Whether or not we can actually reach enlightenment in this lifetime His experience of tasting enlightenment Clear light of bliss The Buddha's mind in us We are the Buddha's reality body That the Buddha is pure love That the future Buddha is currently manifesting as dogs Kalachakra That we can find a way to talk with our enemies and find peace The common theme of "Love Thine Enemy" across religions and traditions How the current Dali Lama is working to lay the path for all beings to reach enlightenment     Please Support The Show with a Donation      

In the first of a new series, Eric talks with good friend and Ph.D. Jon Mills. Today we talk about a seminal paper in our understanding of how adverse childhood experiences can influence our lives decades later. We first explored this work in the conversation with Gabor Mate. More about the study can be found here.    

    Tim Urban writes a pretty famous blog called Wait But Why - have you read it? Whether you have or you've never heard of it before, this episode will not only thoroughly entertain you but it will also help you implement a playful yet powerful approach to growing in wisdom. When it comes to concepts like "the consciousness staircase" or mindfulness about your moment to moment tasks, nothing helps your self-confidence more than reaping the benefits of making good decisions, "out of the fog", in the clarity of awareness. In this episode, Tim Urban teaches you hacks to do just that and you'll chuckle a lot along the way.   This week we talk to Tim Urban Tim Urban has become one of the Internet’s most popular writers. With wry stick-figure illustrations and occasionally epic prose on everything from procrastination to artificial intelligence, Urban's blog, Wait But Why, has garnered millions of unique page views, thousands of patrons and famous fans like Elon Musk His recent Ted talk has been watched almost 15 million times. His articles have been regularly republished on sites like Quartz, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, TIME, Business Insider and Gizmodo. In 2015, Fast Company wrote that “Wait But Why is disproving the notion that thoughtful, long-form content and virality are mutually exclusive.” Urban has gained a number of prominent readers as well: authors Sam Harris and Susan Cain, Twitter co-founder Evan Williams, TED curator Chris Anderson and Brain Pickings’ Maria Popova. Recently, Urban received a call from Elon Musk, who told Urban he liked his writing and asked Urban if he’d like to interview him and write about his companies. Urban accepted, and spent the next six months writing a thorough blog series that Vox’s David Roberts called “the meatiest, most fascinating, most satisfying posts I’ve read in ages.” Since then, Urban’s relationship with Musk has continued: Musk invited him to host SpaceX’s launch webcast, solicited Urban’s input and slide illustrations in a talk he did at the December 2015 Climate Change Conference in Paris, and recently granted him early access to information about SpaceX's interplanetary transport system for use in a post on Wait But Why.   In This Interview, Tim Urban and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable The consciousness staircase That wisdom doesn't correlate with age Step 1: Being in the Fog Step 2: Thinning the fog to reveal context How meditation can help Step 3: Whoa Moments Step 4: We Don't Know What's Going On How he's an agnostic about reality The value of humility How ludicrous certainty can be     Please Support The Show with a Donation      

    Tim Urban writes a pretty famous blog called Wait But Why - have you read it? Whether you have or you've never heard of it before, this episode will not only thoroughly entertain you but it will also help you implement a playful yet powerful approach to ending procrastination and augmenting your productivity on a daily basis. When it comes to things like building habits or mindfulness about your moment to moment tasks, nothing helps your self-confidence more than following through on something you told yourself or others that you were going to do. In this episode, Time Urban teaches you lots of hacks to do just that and you'll chuckle a lot along the way. Get ready to meet these cast of characters: the rational decision maker, the instant gratification monkey, and the panic monster.   This week we talk to Tim Urban Tim Urban has become one of the Internet’s most popular writers. With wry stick-figure illustrations and occasionally epic prose on everything from procrastination to artificial intelligence, Urban's blog, Wait But Why, has garnered millions of unique page views, thousands of patrons and famous fans like Elon Musk   His recent Ted talk has been watched almost 15 million times. His articles have been regularly republished on sites like Quartz, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, TIME, Business Insider and Gizmodo. In 2015, Fast Company wrote that “Wait But Why is disproving the notion that thoughtful, long-form content and virality are mutually exclusive.” Urban has gained a number of prominent readers as well: authors Sam Harris and Susan Cain, Twitter co-founder Evan Williams, TED curator Chris Anderson and Brain Pickings’ Maria Popova. Recently, Urban received a call from Elon Musk, who told Urban he liked his writing and asked Urban if he’d like to interview him and write about his companies. Urban accepted, and spent the next six months writing a thorough blog series that Vox’s David Roberts called “the meatiest, most fascinating, most satisfying posts I’ve read in ages.” Since then, Urban’s relationship with Musk has continued: Musk invited him to host SpaceX’s launch webcast, solicited Urban’s input and slide illustrations in a talk he did at the December 2015 Climate Change Conference in Paris, and recently granted him early access to information about SpaceX's interplanetary transport system for use in a post on Wait But Why.   In This Interview, Tim Urban and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable His blog, Wait But Why The image of the rational mind being trapped inside with an animal How it would be easier if we were just the "animal" How procrastination works: a metaphor Rational decision maker vs the Instant gratification monkey Who has control of the wheel The one thing that the monkey is terrified of: the panic monster Creating your own panic monster by setting external deadlines Which is the alpha character? Chronic procrastinators That when there are no deadlines, you don't really see procrastination happening - and with big life things, this can be very destructive Icky daunting tasks That a building is just a bunch of bricks A book is just a bunch of individual pages  The glorious, large achievement is just a bunch of small, mundane tasks combined The danger of making the bricks too big The importance of keeping promises to ourselves and seeing that track record The power of intentionally starting the day with little wins over the monkey to shift the power dynamic a bit That little steps taken in the right direction gets you there The impact of a habit over time The dark playground vs the dark woods The air is filled with guilt and self-loathing, you're miserable while you're there, rational decision maker asking whyyyy?? The happy playground on the other side of the dark woods The various rides in the dark playground    Please Support The Show with a Donation      

    Florence Williams shares the scientific research behind the benefit to our mood and our health when we spend time in nature as part of our daily lives. Her book, The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier and More Creative is full of practical, intuitive wisdom that can be applied regardless of your lifestyle or circumstances. To that point, you'll be surprised at how little time it takes to have a significant impact on things like depression, anxiety, and stress as well as things like blood pressure and cortisol levels. You may have noticed feeling better after a walk in the woods; this episode will explain why by way of some fascinating research.   This week we talk to Florence Williams Florence Williams is a contributing editor at Outside Magazine and a freelance writer for the New York Times, New York Times Magazine, National Geographic, The New York Review of Books,  and numerous other publications. She is also the writer and host of the new Audible Original series, Breasts Unbound. She is fellow at the Center for Humans and Nature and a visiting scholar at George Washington University, her work focuses on the environment, health and science. Her first book, BREASTS: A Natural and Unnatural History received the Los Angeles Times Book Prize in science and technology. Her latest book is called: The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier and More Creative.   In This Interview, Florence Williams and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable Her book, The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier and More Creative. The research that supports the fact that when we spend time in nature it can boost our mood That 15 minutes in a forest environment can reduce our cortisol levels Natural Killer Cells (T-cells) The roll of Cypress aerosols Taking in nature as a whole as the benefit That the benefit of nature as a whole being greater than the sum of its parts Nature Deficit Disorder and trying to fill it with other more modern-day things Nature being a better option for some people than meditation Paying attention to our surroundings Achieving a more relaxed, restorative state The effect of the sound of birds The benefits of walking alone in nature The benefits of walking with others in nature Attention Restoration Theory The effects of spending time in nature on different parts of the brain The amount of time we should spend in nature Biophilia     Please Support The Show with a Donation      

Danielle LaPorte is all about being honest when it comes to her experiences on the path to self-improvement, self-growth, and self-empowerment. In this interview, she shares so much of herself that you will remark how brave, vulnerable and real she is and how much you can relate to what she's felt, thought and been through. If you've ever struggled with feeling overwhelmed by the obligations in your life or if walking on a spiritual path has felt like another item on an ever-growing checklist, then this episode is a must listen for you.   This week we talk to Danielle Laporte Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s inaugural SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is also the author of The Fire Starters Sessions: A Guide to Creating Success On Your Own Terms, and The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals With Soul. Her latest book is White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it Real On Your Spiritual Path— From One Seeker To Another. Millions of visitors go to DanielleLaPorte.com every month for her daily #Truthbombs. It has been named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, and called “the best place online for kick-ass spirituality.” Danielle’s multi-million dollar company is made up of nine women and one lucky guy, working virtually from five countries. A powerful speaker and poet, and a former business strategist and Washington, DC think-tank exec, Entrepreneur magazine calls Danielle “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.   In This Interview, Danielle Laporte and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable Her book,White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it Real On Your Spiritual Path— From One Seeker To Another Reframing your obligations into conscious choices Bringing our artistic or creative spirit into everything we do Loosening up under the weight of obligation Spiritual path as yet another thing to achieve, another obligation The practice itself having some delight to it Pain as a motivator, laziness as an obstacle That devotion isn't easy but it's worth it The distinction between pain and suffering That the world is not comprehensible but it is embraceable by embracing the things that are in it Transformation begins with the acceptance of what is Short circuiting the healing process That what's repressed finds a way to sneak out How we have more in common than we have differences     Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Scott Stabile has lived through some very difficult things in his lifetime, from feeling shame about his sexuality to the murder of his parents when he was just 14 years old. He can verify that life can be very hard. Yet, he has gone on to live a life full of love, empathy, compassion, and forgiveness. Learn some very practical, applicable wisdom in this episode. You will leave the conversation armed with steps to take towards a happier life for yourself.     This week we talk to Scott Stabile Scott Stabile’s inspirational posts and videos have attracted a huge and devoted social media following. His previous works include Just Love, Iris, and the Li’l Pet Hospital series. Scott also wrote the feature film The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure, an eye-opening experience he writes about in his new book, Big Love. A passionate speaker and love advocate, Scott runs day long empowerment workshops nationally and internationally. He lives in his home state of Michigan with his partner.   In This Interview, Scott Stabile and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable His book, Big Love: The Power of Living with a Wide Open Heart How shame thrives on secrecy How and when he came out as gay How you help others by being yourself To consider making more and more choices in your life from a place of love That awareness is hard work Asking yourself "what does love invite me to do in this moment?" Love as an energy How his parents were murdered when he was 14 years old That love is an action, more so than it is a feeling Choosing to act from a place of love can be an extraordinarily difficult thing as well as an extraordinarily powerful thing to do in the moment The path of empathy Doing your best to connect with the humanity of others, especially when they have opposing views and they're right in front of you How toxic it is to believe that something is unforgivable and that the pathway to it is empathy and compassion Forgiving because not doing so takes a toll on you as a person How good it feels to be loving The importance of self-care That there is choice in sobriety Depression as a syndrome vs a disease How we are all riding the fine line of addiction all the time The importance of building a more fulfilling life How happiness (and all feelings) is not simply a choice Choosing actions that stand a chance to serve our happiness That action helps assuage fear     Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Have you ever wondered how emotions are made in our brains? This conversation with Lisa Feldman Barrett will explain this and more and as a result, you will be astounded. Full of scientifically backed concepts that you've probably never heard before, your view on how your brain manages how you feel at any given moment will be totally changed after hearing what this author and researcher has to say.    This week we talk to Lisa Feldman Barrett Lisa Feldman Barrett, PhD, is a University Distinguished Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University, with appointments at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital. In addition to the book How Emotions are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain, Dr. Barrett has published over 200 peer-reviewed, scientific papers appearing in Science, Nature Neuroscience, and other top journals in psychology and cognitive neuroscience, as well as six academic volumes published by Guilford Press. Dr. Barrett received a National Institutes of Health Director’s Pioneer Award for her revolutionary research on emotion in the brain. These highly competitive, multi-million dollar awards are given to scientists of exceptional creativity who are expected to transform biomedical and behavioral research. Among her many accomplishments, Dr. Barrett has testified before Congress, presented her research to the FBI, consulted to the National Cancer Institute, appeared on Through The Wormhole with Morgan Freeman, and been a featured guest on public television and worldwide radio programs. She is also an elected fellow of Canada’s most prestigious national organization of scholars, the Royal Society of Canada (analogous to the National Academy in the United States).   In This Interview, Lisa Feldman Barrett and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable Her book, How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain The myth of the lizard brain Emotions don't live anywhere in the brain  Neurons being multi purpose The idea of degeneracy How complex emotions are Multi purpose ingredients in your brain (like in recipes) Our brains predict, rather than react, to the next immediate moment (those are our emotions and subsequent actions)  Confirming or Correcting those guesses (or concepts) based on your past experiences How this process is your brain is trying to make sense of the sensory input of your body in the world How it's more efficient to guess in advance and correct in response than it is to react The importance of keeping your body's energy budget in balance We see the world as we believe it to be, through our concepts Interoception - feedback from your body on how it's systems are working Your brain is trying to anticipate what your body is going to need and then provide what's necessary to meet those needs before they arise Tragic Embodiment Most of the time you don't feel sensations from your body in a very precise way and if you do, you feel them in simple terms - "affect" More intense sensations are used to make emotions whereas less intense ones are used to make thoughts and other things How illness is an imbalance in systems in your body and how we experience it How basic body sensations are the cause of our emotions and how we feel How every waking moment of your life is simultaneously physical and mental When your body budget is out of balance/disrupted, you will feel distressed Reframing the feeling of anxiety as "preparing for something tough" and this is a good sign that your body is preparing for something tough Take care of yourself and your body to feel better (sleep, eat, nutrition) Understanding emotion and being more granular in our description is helpful because we better know what to do or not to do about it When you're depressed or anxious, the distress is not helpful if you personalize it     Please Support The Show with a Donation  

Think theoretical physics is irrelevant to your everyday life and way over your head? You'll think differently after listening to this interview with Sean Carroll, theoretical physicist, poetic naturalist, and author.The meaning of life, the finitude of life, the choices we make and our experience of happiness and suffering all have a connection back to the scientific realm that will both fascinate and provoke thought in you.      This week we talk to Sean Carroll Sean Carroll is a theoretical physicist at the California Institute of Technology. He received his Ph.D. in 1993 from Harvard University. His research focuses on fundamental physics and cosmology, especially issues of dark matter, dark energy, spacetime symmetries, and the origin of the universe. Recently, Carroll has worked on the foundations of quantum mechanics, the arrow of time, and the emergence of complexity. Carroll is the author of The Particle at the End of the Universe and From Eternity to Here: The Quest for the Ultimate Theory of Time, He has been awarded prizes and fellowships by the National Science Foundation, NASA, the Sloan Foundation, the Packard Foundation, the American Physical Society, the American Institute of Physics, and the Royal Society of London. He has appeared on TV shows such as The Colbert Report, PBS's NOVA, and Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman, and frequently serves as a science consultant for film and television.   His latest book is called: The Big Picture: On the Origins of Life, Meaning, and the Universe Itself In This Interview, Sean Carroll and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable His book, The Big Picture; On the Origins of Life, Meaning and the Universe Itself That who we become is a combination of the choices we make and what the Universe gives us The philosophy of Poetic Naturalism - 1 world, many ways of talking about it 3 Levels of Stories: Fundamental, Emergent, Comprehensive What it means to be real You can't make "ought" out of "is" That facts and moral values are different things His perspective on life mattering - that it comes from within, that it's not imposed on us from the outside The fact that we care is the origin of things mattering in this life and world Life is a process, it's something that's happening - always moving and changing - and that there's always something else that we want How his book lays out the design for you to decide how to live your life and what kind of person you want to be The mistake of fetishizing happiness How you cannot separate happiness and suffering in life - especially a life well lived That our goal shouldn't be to reach some state of happiness and stay there because life is a dynamic process and it doesn't work like that The finitude of life The average human lives for three billion heartbeats That the difference between right and wrong is up to us to decide and that can be scary That the world - including us - is only really made up of 3 basic particles and 3 basic forces That the big bang isn't necessarily the beginning of the universe but it's as far back as we can go Physics books for the non-science people - look for books by either Brian Greene or Lisa Randall Life's Ratchet by Peter Hoffman is another interesting book for a non-science person   Please Support The Show with a Donation    

    This week we talk to Spring Washam Spring Washam is a well-known meditation and dharma teacher based in Oakland, California. She is a founding member and core teacher at the East Bay Meditation Center located in downtown Oakland. She is the founder of Lotus Vine Journeys an organization that blends indigenous healing practices with Buddhist wisdom. In addition to being a teacher, she is also a healer, facilitator, spiritual activist, and writer. Her upcoming book entitled, A Fierce Heart: Finding Strength, Courage, and Wisdom in Any Moment, will be available in stores on November 7th, 2017. She has studied numerous meditation practices and Buddhist philosophy since 1997. She has practiced and studied under some of the most preeminent meditation masters in both the Theravada and Tibetan schools of Buddhism. She has studied indigenous healing practices and works with students individually from around the world. She has completed a six -year teacher-training program under the guidance of Jack Kornfield and is now on the teacher’s council at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, California. Spring is considered a pioneer in bringing mindfulness based healing practices into diverse communities and is committed to enriching the lives of disenfranchised people everywhere. She currently travels and teaches workshops, classes, and retreats worldwide.   In This Interview, Spring Washam and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable His book, A Fierce Heart: Finding Strength, Courage, and Wisdom in Any Moment How she became a meditation teacher How self-compassion is at the heart of Buddhist teachings How being with ourselves in difficult times is an act of mercy How a synonym for mindfulness is remembering How we are always trying to change consciousness Her controversial Peru ayahuasca retreats How meditation and mindfulness was not enough to deal with her trauma Her first ayahuasca ceremony What ayahuasca is The risks of using entheogens The debate in the Buddhist community about this approach Whether you need to go to the jungle for this How we often need multiple approaches to healing ourselves How feeling like you are innately good changes the whole path       Please Support The Show with a Donation    

Eric is interviewed on Awesome at Your Job podcast.  Lot's of the key ideas from the show are discussed here.

    This week we talk to Akshay Nanavati After overcoming drug addiction, alcoholism, PTSD from fighting the war in Iraq and recovering from the brink of suicide, Akshay Nanavati has since explored the most hostile environments on the planet and built a business helping people live limitless lifestyles. Combining his life experience with years of research in science and spirituality, he wrote a book called “Fearvana: The Revolutionary Science of How to Turn Fear Into Health, Wealth and Happiness.” Of the book, The Dalai Lama said “Fearvana inspires us to look beyond our own agonizing experiences and find the positive side of our lives.”   In This Interview, Akshay Nanavati and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable His book, Fearvana: The revolutionary science of how to turn fear into health, wealth, and happiness How he got the Dali Lama to write the forward for his book That we don't control what first shows up in our brain How if you feel fear and stress is not your fault The second dart/arrow parable Acting your way into right thinking literally restructures the pathways in your brain The ability to develop a positive relationship to suffering Committing yourself to the worthy struggle Reducing life to the simplest next step Dealing with fear - it's ok to be scared Bringing the rational mind into fearful situations The challenge response Fear is a gift if you believe it to be The growth mindset vs The fixed mindset If you want to be great you have to believe that you are How ego can be both helpful and unhelpful The worthy struggle Keeping things automated in your day so that you can save self-discipline or willpower for the times you need it     Please Support The Show with a Donation    

    This week we talk to Eric Barker Eric is a thought leader in the field of success. His humorous but practical blog, Barking up the Wrong Tree, presents science-based answers and expert insight on success in life. Over 270,000 people subscribe to his weekly email update and his content is syndicated by Time, The Week, and Business Insider. He has been featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Financial Times, and he was a columnist for Wired. With a writing career spanning over twenty years, Eric is also a sought-after speaker and interview subject and has been invited to speak at MIT, West Point, NPR affiliates, and on morning television. His first book, Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong is available now. In This Interview, Eric Barker and I Discuss... His book, Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong How he defines success Achievement, Happiness, Significance, Legacy The dangers of only using one metric for happiness How money is a lever to something else that makes you happy rather than the thing that makes you happy in and of itself There's no finish line in the quest of what makes me feel good We must decide what is "enough" New and novel make our brains happy We must decide what really is going to make us happy in the long run Turning what we do in our lives into games can be helpful in increasing our persistence and grit Games have these attributes: Winnable, Novelty, Goals, Instantaneous Feedback A feeling of progress and meaningful work keeps us engaged Challenging yourself in a familiar task True burnout is when you start to feel pessimistic about your job so you withdraw and then you get poor feedback so you finally disengage Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose A change is as good as a rest That we are telling ourselves stories about what's has meaning and what doesn't How telling your children about their lineage will increase the likelihood they stay away from drugs, stay in school etc Therapy as editing the story we're telling about our lives Cognitive reappraisal The role of positive self-talk I can do it vs I can't take this anymore If you break your arm you wouldn't say "I am broken" you'd say "My arm is broken" Listening to our thoughts from a distance and asking "is this useful?" to be more mindful about what thoughts we identify with We don't choose what makes us happy, we choose what's easy The role of a plan How anticipation is happiness     Please Support The Show with a Donation   m is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed  The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable. This parable goes by many names including: The Tale of Two Wolves The Parable of the Two Wolves Two Wolves Which Wolf Do You Feed Which Wolf are You Feeding Which Wolf Will You Feed It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

    This week we talk to Gregg Krech GREGG KRECH is an author, poet, and one of the leading authorities on Japanese Psychology in North America. His work has been featured in THE SUN magazine, Tricycle, SELF, Utne Reader, Counseling Today, Cosmopolitan and Experience Life. His books include Naikan: Gratitude, Grace, and the Japanese Art of Self-Reflection, A Natural Approach to Mental Wellness, and  The Art of Taking Action.  His newest book, Question Your Life, will be available soon. Gregg and his wife, Linda, founded the ToDo Institute (http://www.todoinstitute.org), a non-profit center in Vermont that uses Japanese Psychology as an alternative to traditional Western approaches to psychology. Over the past 25 years, Gregg has introduced Japanese Psychology, particularly Naikan Therapy, Morita Therapy and Kaizen, to thousands of people through his workshops and online courses. His work supports a blend of the psychological, the spiritual and the practical, and helps individuals to clarify purpose, cultivate gratitude, develop compassion and engage in meaningful action. He is a member of the North American Naikan Counsel and Editor in Chief for the quarterly journal "Thirty Thousand Days: A Journal for Purposeful Living.   In This Interview, Gregg Krech and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable His book, The Art of Taking Actions: Lessons from Japanese Psychology How Eastern wisdom is directed towards taking action, as well as contemplation Taking your practice off your cushion The misguided premise that we have to figure things out in our life before we can act The power of momentum in action when small steps are taken Cultivating gratitude Avoidance, resignation, complaining How accepting things as they are isn't necessarily passive That complaining keeps us stuck in focusing on the trouble in our lives The overlap between ACT and Japenese Therapy Feelings and thoughts are uncontrollable by our will Allowing feelings to be what they are but not letting them inhibit our ability to move forward and take action Taking action based on the needs of the situation rather than just on the feelings we have  How essential it is to step back from our lives and reflect and then make choices on how you need to move forward How most of the time we do not feel like doing the things that need to be done Exercise being an example! The maxim: Lead with the body How if you don't feel like something now, you're probably never really going to want to do it so get it done now That the anticipation is often worse than the consummation His next book that focuses on self-reflection       Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Matthew Quick Matthew Quick is the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook, which was made into an Oscar-winning film; The Good Luck of Right Now; Love May Fail; The Reason You Are Alive; and four young adult novels: Sorta Like a Rock Star; Boy21; Forgive Me Leonard Peacock; and Every Exquisite Thing. His work has been translated into more than thirty languages, received a PEN/Hemingway Award Honorable Mention, was an LA Times Book Prize finalist, a New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice, a #1 bestseller in Brazil, a Deutscher Jugendliteratur Preis 2016 (German Youth Literature Prize) nominee, and selected by Nancy Pearl as one of Summer’s Best Books for NPR. The Hollywood Reporter has named him one of Hollywood’s 25 Most Powerful Authors. All of his books have been optioned for film. In This Interview, Matthew Quick and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable His new book, The Reason You're Alive ICATS - what it means and why limiting it in your life is helpful to anxiety How public speaking causes him to have anxiety His calming practices to manage his anxiety Why dismissing whole groups of people is a mistake The importance and benefit of meeting people who are different than you Comfort the Disturbed and Disturb the Comforted Generational tendencies in worldviews The damage that's done when we shame others about their thoughts The relationship between anger and fear How silencing people is un-American and frustrating The transparency of the main character in his new book Humor is experiencing the unexpected Laughing and Crying give relief to tension The major life changes he has made over the past 3 years and their impact Believing he couldn't function without alcohol and Rxs The long-term benefit of passing on some forms of short term relief The power of the past to continue to live on Every experience leaves an impact on you and affects the rest of your life The power of focusing on process and not result       Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Russ Harris Russ Harris is a medical practitioner, psychotherapist, and leading expert in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). His books include ACT with Love, ACT Made Simple, The Confidence Gap, and The Happiness Trap, which has now been translated into twenty-two languages. He lives in Melbourne, Australia, and travels internationally to train mental health professionals in the ACT approach. In This Interview, Russ Harris and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable The principle of connection in ACT Practicing attention in the shower The exercise of "notice 5 things" How to notice the person you come home to in a new way The physical practices of yoga and tai chi The observing self vs the thinking self The scientific study of spirituality Living a spiritual life even if it's not a religious life Values = desired qualities of action The difference between goals and values Examples of how you can live your values on your way to your goals Committed Action Examining your life to identify areas where your behavior is not reflecting your values The basic ACT formula of "Be Present, Open Up, Do What Matters"       Please Support The Show with a Donation    

Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Russ Harris Russ Harris is a medical practitioner, psychotherapist, and leading expert in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). His books include ACT with Love, ACT Made Simple, The Confidence Gap, and The Happiness Trap, which has now been translated into twenty-two languages. He lives in Melbourne, Australia, and travels internationally to train mental health professionals in the ACT approach. In This Interview, Russ Harris and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable Getting the wolves to cooperate and not battle Embracing even our most difficult feelings The Reality Slap and the Reality Gap An overview of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) The Serenity Challenge How we always have a chance to improve our situation  Taking the action that is needed regardless of what we feel What "psychological flexibility" is Cognitive defusion techniques Recognizing that are thoughts are not facts Asking the question "Is this thought useful"? Noticing and Naming our thoughts and feelings "The Greatest Hits" approach The "I'm not good enough" story" "I'm having the thought that" de-fusion method The artificial distinction between thoughts and emotions The Struggle Switch         Please Support The Show with a Donation  

Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Justin Stenstrom Justin Stenstrom the founder of EliteManMagazine.com, the host of the Elite Man Podcast on iTunes, a best-selling author, life coach, and speaker. He has been featured on major news websites like The Huffington Post, Maxim, The Good Men Project, Lifehack, Elite Daily, and many more. In This Interview, Justin Stenstrom and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable His podcast, The Elite Man Taking control of the thoughts in your head Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) Hypnosis How he has battled anxiety, panic attacks, and depression in his life The powerful, subconscious mind vs the conscious mind The role of positive affirmations and suggestions Reprogramming the subconscious mind to be happier What a successful hypnotic session feels like How some people can be hypnotized and others cannot The key learnings from his podcast The guests from his podcast who stick out to him The power of failure or rejection to propel people forward in their lives and/or careers The supplements that he recommends for depression Fish Oil with DHA and EPA Omega 6 and Omega 3 ratio Vitamin D B complex Magnesium Citrate       Please Support The Show with a Donation  

LA Times- Michael Owen Baker     Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Heather Havrilesky Heather Havrilesky writes the popular advice column Ask Polly for New York Magazine’s The Cut. She is the author of the memoir Disaster Preparedness and the new advice book How to Be a Person in the World. She writes The Best Seller List column for Book Forum and has written for The New Yorker, The New York Times Magazine, The Atlantic, Esquire, The Los Angeles Times, NPR's All Things Considered, and many other publications. In This Interview, Heather Havrilesky and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable Her book, How to Be a Person in the World Coming to peace with your flaws Finding a place within yourself where who you are is enough What a beautiful life is to her How she is constantly checking and rebalancing areas of her life The serenity prayer "Is the juice worth the squeeze?" That touching the same flame can be dangerous to some people Seeing your life as a series of problems instead of a patchwork of things to savor That there isn't an objectively "good way to be" How people are far more complex than we give them credit for The question of "does it serve you" is a good one to ask yourself in relationships Not knowing how to get below the surface with people How she has finally learned to relax around other people That people are trapped in their head To not beat yourself up for falling into the same "pot holes" over and over         Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Colin Gawel Colin Gawel is the guitarist of the American rock band, Watershed. Colin also has a solo career both with and without his backing band - Colin Gawel and the Lonely  Bones. The album Superior - The Best of Colin Gawel was released in Dec 2016. Colin also lead writer, editor, and founder of the website Pencilstorm and the owner of the legendary Colin's Coffee in Columbus, Ohio. This conversation was recorded live in Colin's kitchen and is focused on fatherhood in honor of Father's Day this weekend. In This Interview, Colin Gawel and I Discuss... Father's Day His song, Dad Can't Help You Now The challenge of watching your child live life beyond your protection What it feels like as a parent for your child to leave home Talking to your children about addiction in their family history Being on the little league baseball team together as kids How important it is to come back from adversity Doing things for the love of doing them rather than for the anticipated outcome His time in the band, Watershed Keeping things in balance in life That time is precious How we find resilience in life The importance of the people you surround yourself with How he writes about what it's like to be an adult in his music His song, The Words We Say How different people react and interpret his songs differently How unusual it is that as a musician, he prefers to perform sober rather than high on something That he's conscious of how his son sees him consuming alcohol Our mutual love of music His song, Try a Little Faith         Please Support The Show with a Donation    

Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Chris Niebauer Chris Niebauer received his Ph.D. in Cognitive Neuropsychology from the University of Toledo where he specialized in left-right brain differences. He has conducted research on consciousness, handedness, beliefs and the sense of self and is currently an associate professor of cognitive psychology at Slippery Rock University in Pennsylvania. When he is not teaching, Chris likes to play guitar, spend time with his family, and work on new books. His new book is called The Neurotic's Guide to Avoiding Enlightenment: How the Left Brain Plays Unending Games of Self-improvement In This Interview, Chris Niebauer and I Discuss... His book, The Neurotic's Guide to Avoiding Enlightenment: How the Left Brain Plays Unending Games of Self-improvement That your thoughts and behaviors should match and when they don't you look to make it happen - Cognitive Dissonance Confirmation Bias The power of gratitude The mechanics of thoughts themselves The law of opposition Why if you accept a bad mood, it begins to dissipate That the universe is always becoming something that it isn't The good and bad news about the ego The impermanence of "things" The eternal nature of "verbs" The often incorrect storytelling, or pattern finding nature of the left brain The left brain interpreter The ego as a story that we tell ourselves The challenge of finding consciousness in the brain "Doing" rather than "having" consciousness The analogy of jogging to consciousness or ego: if you stop jogging and pat yourself down trying to find the "jogging" in you. It's a verb, not a noun The connection between pattern finding and depression vs anxiety A state of enlightenment and the left, pattern-finding brain How we want the universe to be a mystery         Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Thomas Sterner Thomas Sterner is the founder and CEO of The Practicing Mind Institute. He is considered an expert in Present Moment Functioning. He is a popular and in-demand speaker who works with high-performance individuals including, athletes, industry groups and individuals, helping them to operate effectively within high-stress situations so that they can break through to new levels of mastery. He has been featured in top media outlets such as NPR and Fox News. He is the author of the best seller The Practicing Mind. His latest book is called Fully Engaged: Using the Practicing Mind in Daily Life In This Interview, Thomas Sterner and I Discuss... His newest book, Fully Engaged: Using the Practicing Mind in Daily Life How you can't change anything that you're not aware of That most of us spend our day as someone in their thoughts as opposed to someone who is having thoughts Meditation being the vehicle for growing in self-awareness Learning to recognize the truth that "I am not my thoughts, I am the one who has thoughts" The strengths of being observer oriented rather than in a state of reactivity That people who think they've had a "bad meditation" have actually had a very good meditation That meditation is never a done task The value of thinking of meditation like you do exercising The innate sense in us that is misinterpreted That the desire to expand is built into our DNA The power of the question, 'And then what?" That real perfection is the ability to expand infinitely It's the interpretation of the experience that makes it feel the way it does Making decisions about how to handle a "road block" beforehand How we can control our emotions and doing so is a skill The difference between a feeling and the truth The importance of setting goals with accurate information How you have to be in a situation to learn how to function in that situation That struggle is a sign that we are expanding and learning and up against our threshold     Please Support The Show with a Donation    

Credit Kwaku Alston     Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Dani Shapiro Dani Shapiro is the bestselling author of three memoirs and 5 novels.  Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, Granta, Tin House. The New York Times Book Review, The Los Angeles Times, and has been broadcast on NPR's “This American Life”.  Her newest book is Hourglass: Time, Memory, Marriage   In This Interview, Dani Shapiro and I Discuss... Her newest book, Hourglass: Time, Memory, Marriage Her book, Devotion: A Memoir How we are all connected Her history with Orthodox Judaism This sense that she had to pray though she didn't know who or what she was praying to Her process of figuring out what she believes in a spiritual realm Living inside the questions, exploring spiritual wisdom How she moved away from an all or nothing mentality That if her only two choices are "all or nothing", she's going with nothing With her book Devotion: A Memoir, she wrote the book so that she could go on the journey, not the other way around "If you want to do something, begin it, because action has magic, grace and power in it." - Goethe The "third thing" that's essential in relationships What it means to walk through life with another person What it is like to be comfortable not knowing things in life The saying "we can make the best out of everything that happens" vs "everything happens for a reason" Her parents terrible accident The death of her father and it's effect on her life     Please Support The Show with a Donation    

Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Peter Singer Peter Albert David Singer, is an Australian moral philosopher. He is the Ira W. DeCamp Professor of Bioethics at Princeton University and a Laureate Professor at the Centre for Applied Philosophy and Public Ethics at the University of Melbourne. He specializes in applied ethics and approaches ethical issues from a secular, utilitarian perspective. He is known in particular for his book Animal Liberation, in which he argues in favor of vegetarianism, and his essay Famine, Affluence, and Morality, in which he argues in favor of donating to help the global poor. For most of his career, he was a preference utilitarian, but he announced in The Point of View of the Universe that he had become a hedonistic utilitarian. On two occasions, Singer served as chair of the philosophy department at Monash University, where he founded its Centre for Human Bioethics. In 1996 he stood unsuccessfully as a Greens candidate for the Australian Senate. In 2004 Singer was recognized as the Australian Humanist of the Year by the Council of Australian Humanist Societies, and in 2006 he was voted one of Australia's ten most influential public intellectuals. Singer is a cofounder of Animals Australia and the founder of The Life You Can Save. In This Interview, Peter Singer and I Discuss... His book, Ethics and the Real World: 82 Brief Essays on Things That Matter How he's widely considered the most famous living philosopher Utilitarian philosophy The importance of preventing unnecessary suffering How the world is better today than it's ever been The reasons why we don't donate to help save children across the world Where to find highly vetted charity organizations to donate to How we've evolved to respond to help the person right in front of us but not yet to respond to someone who needs help on the other side of the world The science of measuring happiness Which is a better, more important question: asking people if they're satisfied with their lives or enjoying their lives moment to moment Reducing unavoidable suffering vs. making people happier The link between happiness and money at various levels of society The importance of living in accordance with your values The importance of believing that your life has some purpose Personal identity or the idea of self The public good as a value and then individual liberty as another value Physician-assisted suicide His views on animal rights The value of starting new things later in life and taking on things you may not be great at     Please Support The Show with a Donation   It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

Photo Kris Snibbe/Harvard News Office     Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Kurt Gray Kurt Gray is an assistant professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. He received his BSc from the University of Waterloo and his Ph.D. in social psychology from Harvard University. He studies the mysteries of subjective experience and asks such deep philosophical questions as: Why are humanoid robots creepy? Why do ghosts always have unfinished business? Why do grandma's cookies taste the best? And why do adult film stars seem stupid? His research suggests that these questions—and many more—are rooted in the phenomenon of mind perception. Mind perception also forms the essence of moral cognition. In science, he likes to wield Occam's razor to defend parsimony, asking whether complex phenomena can be simplified and understood through basic processes. These phenomena include moral judgment, group genesis, and psychopathology. He has been named an APS Rising Star and was awarded the Janet Spence Award for Transformative Early Career Research.  He was also given the SPSP Theoretical Innovation Award for the article "Mind Perception Is the Essence of Morality." His work has been generously funded by the John Templeton Foundation. He recently published the book,  The Mind Club: Who Thinks, What Feels and Why it Matters In This Interview, Kurt Gray and I Discuss... His book, The Mind Club: Who Thinks, What Feels and Why it Matters People who we perceive as having a mind similar to ours The uncertainty about the minds of others The two fundamentally different factors in how we see minds Agency: the capacity to act and to do Experience: the capacity to feel and to sense The moral responsibility connected to these two things Thinking doers Vulnerable feelers Didactic completion The objectification of women That child abuse often occurs with parents who view their children as having a higher agency than they are capable of having The danger of inferring intention Moral typecasting That we treat our heroes poorly The Just World theory How we rationalize our behavior That we give more sympathy to people who are at a greater distance from us The poorer you are, the more likely you are to believe in God Seeking control as a motivation How to increase self-control The implementation intention study The when and the then and how it takes away self-control entirely What the self is from the perspective of his work The analogy of particle board for the self The way people respond morally is the most essential to our perception of who they are (vs physical traits) That we perceive the world rather than understand it directly     Please Support The Show with a Donation    

    Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Sam Weinman about losing Sam Weinman is Golf Digest’s digital editor. He previously covered professional golf and the NHL for Gannett Newspapers. His first book is called WIN AT LOSING: How Our Biggest Setbacks Can Lead To Our Greatest Gains In This Interview, Sam Weinman and I Discuss... His book, Win at Losing: How Our Biggest Setbacks Can Lead to Our Greatest Gains The truth that we learn more from losing than we do from winning That you're far better served listening to those who have lost constructively than those who've simply won How you can learn to lose and fail better That sports are a window into everything else in life The difference between losing and failure The '87 Masters lesson How to find the balance between being hard on yourself and beating the sh*t out of yourself The power of talking to yourself like you would a really good friend Shifting the emphasis away from the results and more towards an ongoing process That if you're always the victim, there's nothing you can do about your circumstances The relationship between a growth and a fixed mindset and focusing on the goal vs the results Counterfactual thinking: Focusing on what could have been vs what is The fact that losing teaches you more about who you are than winning teaches you How your past doesn't define you, it prepares you What "not this but that" means Post Traumatic Growth Ways to foster resilience in yourself Cognitive Restructuring How important context and mindset is Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  [powerpress] Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Tom Asacker Tom Asacker, a popular speaker and acclaimed author, is recognized by Inc. Magazine, M.I.T., and Y.E.O. as a past member of their Birthing of Giants executive leadership program. He is a former General Electric executive, recipient of the George Land Innovator of the Year Award, and a former high-tech business owner. Asacker has been a strategic adviser to startups and Fortune-listed companies. He is the author of critically acclaimed books including his latest, I Am Keats.  In This Interview, Tom Asacker and I Discuss... His book, I am Keats: Escape Your Mind and Free Yourself John Keats and Samuel Taylor Coleridge That once you have a story, that's the end of any change How limiting a story is That we are spinning stories all of the time The difference between fact vs truth How attached we are to our perception of the world That technology promotes the myth that we are in control The truth that you can't learn about life by merely reading about it, you can only truly learn about life by living it Our reasoning mind that differentiates us as animals That life is a journey of paradoxes and ambiguity The importance of being empathizing and being mindful throughout this journey The desire for meaning How everyone is looking for meaning externally in their lives How that won't work because our culture is broken That it is a personal discovery journey to live life How we always have the opportunity to make other people's lives better but we have to be awake in life to do so The importance of control and certainty in our lives How to differentiate the voices in our heads That the end result of anything that we're seeking is a feeling Human nature is to be curious, compassionate and creative What would happen if characters in movies could control their scenes? The result would be crushingly boring movies. Can you see the correlation between this idea and life itself?     Please Support The Show with a Donation    

    Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Sarah Kaufman about grace SARAH L. KAUFMAN is a Pulitzer Prize-winning critic, author, journalist and educator. For more than 30 years, she has focused on the union of art and everyday living. She is the dance critic and senior arts writer of the Washington Post, where she has written about the performing arts, pop culture, sports and body language since 1993. Her book, THE ART OF GRACE: On Moving Well Through Life, won a Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writers Award, was a Washington Post Notable Book of 2015 and has been featured on NPR’s “On Point with Tom Ashbrook.” Sarah Kaufman recently appeared at the South-by-Southwest Interactive Festival, speaking on a panel inspired by her book, titled, "Can Grace Survive in the Digital Age?" She has taught and lectured at universities and institutes around the country. In 2010 she became the first dance critic in 35 years to win the Pulitzer Prize. In This Interview, Sarah Kaufman and I Discuss... Her book, The Art of Grace on Moving Well Through Life How she defines grace The idea of ease at it relates to grace The three different types of grace that she looks at in her book Physical Grace Social Grace Spiritual Grace That grace exists where we forget ourselves and aim instead to bring pleasure to others The fact that we have a "grace gap" in our current culture The religious take on grace The relationship between overload and grace That grace is a worldview and a philosophy that allows us to take care of ourselves and others Considering the idea of "defying gravity" when considering the idea of grace The paradox of grace That practice makes graceful The graceful balance skill with ease The role of movement in grace Posture - how do you do it and why is it important The grace of a smooth running commercial kitchen How being present is crucial to observing grace That grace doesn't demand perfection, it simply means that we lean into our humanity Tips to practice grace     Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Joey Svendsen Joey Svendsen grew up in Charleston, SC and received a degree in Elementary Education from Winthrop University in 1999. After graduation, he taught school for 5 years and served as a youth minister at New Beginnings Church in James Island. He is now the campus pastor Joey for the James Island Campus of Seacoast Church. His book is called Fundamentalist and describes his journey of growing up in a fundamentalist church while having OCD and depression. He is also part of the popular The Bad Christian Podcast  In This Interview, Joey Svendsen and I Discuss... How the rigid do's and don'ts found in Christianity are so contrary to Jesus How he found a form of Christianity that worked for him, so much so that he became a pastor His podcast, Bad Christian How he grew up in a fundamentalist Christian church as a child with OCD and depression How we can accept that as humans we're flawed and also move forward with a good life Scrupulosity That you can train your brain to be consumed with fear, self-loathing and punishment How his goal is to be a catalyst to unity and understanding That we the people make the country regardless of what's happening in the government The stupidity and ignorance of assuming your beliefs are 100% right and the beliefs of the other side is 100% wrong His beautiful description of depression That it's hard to properly evaluate a situation when your brain is the problem How he manages his periods of depression The importance of having grace with those suffering from depression Thinking of the brain as a physical organ when it comes to depression How important it is to give people the benefit of the doubt How his view of depression has evolved How to be open Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Mark Shapiro about being authentic Mark Shapiro is a former marketing director at Showtime Networks Inc., Mark left his six-figure corporate job after 12 years and is on a mission to bring more of what’s real & authentic to the world. He is the founder of AreYouBeingReal.com, the Host of The One & Only Podcast, and a heralded transformational trainer, coach, and speaker.  In This Interview, Mark Shapiro and I Discuss... His podcast, The One and Only What "authenticity" means to him What it means to live "authentically" Why authenticity is important How focusing on authenticity can build confidence, liberate you and fulfill you How living authentically can bring huge value to the world That it can be hard not to live authentically His choice to leave corporate America People who are not afraid to be themselves People who are afraid to be themselves How living in alignment with your core values can contribute to living authentically That we're either growing or we're dying To always keep the door open to growth and redefining who we are How to remain flexible to new ideas as we age That though we don't like to be uncomfortable, it's rewarding when we take smart risks and try something new How setting goals and being held accountable supports living outside our comfort zones Doing the thing that scares you the most first thing in the day The questions we can ask ourselves to see if we're living authentically Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Charles Fernyhough about the voices in our heads Charles Fernyhough is a writer and psychologist. His non-fiction book about his daughter’s psychological development, A Thousand Days of Wonder, was translated into eight languages. His book on autobiographical memory, Pieces of Light was shortlisted for the 2013 Royal Society Winton Prize for Science Books.  His latest non-fiction book is called The Voices Within. He is the author of two novels, The Auctioneer and A Box Of Birds. He has written for TIME Ideas, Nature, New Scientist, BBC Focus, Guardian, Observer, Financial Times, Literary Review, Sunday Telegraph, Lancet, Scotland on Sunday, Huffington Post, Daily Beast and Sydney Morning Herald. He blogs for the US magazine Psychology Today and has made numerous radio appearances in the UK and US. He has acted as consultant on theatre productions on Broadway and the West End (‘The River’, Royal Court, 2012, and The Circle in the Square, 2014; ‘Old Times’, Harold Pinter Theatre, 2013), numerous TV (BBC1 and Channel 4) and radio documentaries and several other artistic projects.  He was shortlisted for the 2015 Transmission Prize for the communication of ideas. He is a part-time chair in psychology at Durham University, UK, where he leads the interdisciplinary Hearing the Voice project, investigating the phenomenon of auditory verbal hallucinations.   In This Interview, Charles Fernyhough and I Discuss... His new book, The Voices Within: The History and Science of How We Talk to Ourselves The stages of speech in childhood development and how it relates to our inner voice in life The theory that says that our internal speech comes from external speech that we hear/the dialogue we hear as a child which we eventually move inward and it becomes our internal speech Vygotsky's theory What inner speech does for us Inner speech plays a role in regulating behavior It has a role in imagination and creativity It has a role in creating a self That the fact that we create and construct a self, doesn't mean that it is an illusion The theory that says that inner speech is how we bring different parts of our brain together into a coherent narrative How using inner speech skillfully can give us significant advantages in life That talking out loud to yourself actually probably serves some useful function Social speech - private speech - inner speech As the task gets more difficult, children and adults move from inner speech to more private speech How difficult it is to study inner speech The dialogic thinking model How his research that shows it can be helpful to teach mentally ill people who hear voices in their head to think differently about this form of inner speech Theories about why people hear different voices in their head That there is a strong correlation between childhood trauma and hearing voices in one's head as an adult That people hear the voices of the people in books that they've read Experiential crossing How to work with your inner speech to improve the quality of the experience of your life How difficult it is to silence your inner voice so it's better to learn how to productively interact with it, even dialogue with it     Please Support The Show with a Donation      

  ©Peter Prato Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Daniel Levitin Daniel Levitin is an award-winning scientist, musician, author and record producer. He is the author of three consecutive #1 bestselling books: This Is Your Brain on Music, The World in Six Songs and The Organized Mind. He is also the James McGill Professor of Psychology and Behavioural Neuroscience at McGill University in Montreal, where he runs the Laboratory for Music Cognition, Perception and Expertise. Dr. Daniel Levitin earned his B.A. in Cognitive Psychology and Cognitive Science at Stanford University, and went on to earn his Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Oregon. He has consulted on audio sound source separation for the U.S. Navy, and on audio quality for several rock bands and record labels (including the Grateful Dead and Steely Dan), and served as one of the “Golden Ears” expert listeners in the original Dolby AC3 compression tests.  He taught at Stanford University in the Department of Computer Science, the Program in Human-Computer Interaction, and the Departments of Psychology, Anthropology, Computer Music, and History of Science. Currently, he is a James McGill Professor of Psychology, Behavioural Neuroscience, and Music at McGill University (Montreal, Quebec), and Dean of Arts and Humanities at the Minerva Schools at KGI. His latest book is called Weaponized Lies: How to Think Critically in the Post-Truth Era    In This Interview, Daniel Levitin and I Discuss... His new book,Weaponized Lies: How to Think Critically in the Post-Truth Era Evidence-based thinking Critical Thinking The myth that the MMR vaccine causes autism The difference between correlation and causation Belief Perseverance The danger of adopting a belief before all of the evidence is in That we tend to make decisions emotionally rather than based on evidence Persuasion by association How important it is to question the status quo Information overload His book, The Organized Mind What's wrong with multitasking The effect of multitasking Rapid task switching Decision fatigue The benefits of restorative time for the brain His book, This is Your Brain on Music The 6 songs Daniel Levitin gave his friend who didn't really get rock 'n roll The songs he would add to that list now The role of music in our brains How music and the arts can regulate our mood The power of the arts to re-contextualize things for us Music therapy vs Music and emotion The role of opioids in experiencing musical pleasure     Please Support The Show with a Donation      

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Richard Rohr, again Fr. Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to the universal awakening within Christian mysticism and the Perennial Tradition. He is a Franciscan priest of the New Mexico Province and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Fr. Richard’s teaching is grounded in the Franciscan alternative orthodoxy—practices of contemplation and self-emptying, expressing itself in radical compassion, particularly for the socially marginalized. Fr. Richard is the author of numerous books, including  The Naked Now, Falling Upward, Immortal Diamond, His newest book is The Divine Dance: The Trinity and Your Transformation. In This Interview, Richard Rohr and I Discuss... That the normal two paths for expanding the soul are great love and great suffering Suffering = whenever you're not in control That Jesus is a map of the human journey That if there's no good reason for suffering you have every right to be negative and cynical How the honeymoon period and the grief period are non-dual states What you're learning in these times is how to stay there and if you don't do this you loose the wisdom that comes with suffering If you don't transform your suffering you transmit it That growth occurs when an individual has just the right amount of feeling safe and ok within the conflict And friendship and love give us this safety to hold us Order - Disorder - Reorder How we don't really want to see the pattern of loss and renewal in life When you hear truth, don't ask "who said it?" Just ask, "is it true?" And if it's true, it's always from the Holy Spirit How important the undeserved nature of Jesus' suffering is Grief = Unfinished hurt How we grow up in a world that is disenchanted That it's hard to heal individually when the culture one lives in is so dysfunctional Clear seeing means seeing the whole picture without our filters in place How love applies to imperfect things, and it's a terrible mistake to wait for things that are "worthy" of our love and perfect The reality and wisdom of "carrying the burden of the self" The greek word for sin literally means when you're shooting the arrow and you miss the bullseye which doesn't mean a culpable thing that makes God not like you How the clergy haven't been very motivated to move beyond a simple, punitive version of God because it keeps the laity codependant on the church Relationships based on Guilt and Shame and You Owe Me are largely co-dependent in nature - it passes for love but it isn't Much of religion - the church, catholic and protestant is built on codependence between the laity and the clergy It has been job security for clergy to keep things this way because you keep people coming back on shame and guilt (the lowest level of motivation) The truth is that God is infinite love. Any other version of God cannot continue and it doesn't lead to God's true nature Evil is almost always absolutely sure of itself - it suffers no self-doubt That faith is balancing the knowing and the not knowing How fundamentalist Christians have moved too far away from this That the great sin of America is superficiality How democracy only works if the people have some degree of awareness and critical thinking The incarnation is finding God IN things, in this world Christian meditation is freeing yourself of yourself so that you can see God in everything The "true self" is unique for every person and is also completely united The "false self" (not the bad self) is the raw material God uses to break you through to your true self. It's cultural, it's passing Please Support The Show with a Donation    

Many people could benefit from a 12 Step program to help handle their addictions but the issue of not believing in God can be a real blocker for them. I discuss a way to use 12 Step programs while not believing in God.

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Richard Rohr   Fr. Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to the universal awakening within Christian mysticism and the Perennial Tradition. He is a Franciscan priest of the New Mexico Province and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Fr. Richard’s teaching is grounded in the Franciscan alternative orthodoxy—practices of contemplation and self-emptying, expressing itself in radical compassion, particularly for the socially marginalized. Fr. Richard is the author of numerous books, including  The Naked Now, Falling Upward, Immortal Diamond, His newest book is The Divine Dance: The Trinity and Your Transformation. In This Interview, Richard Rohr and I Discuss... Non-dualistic thinking That non-dualistic thinking is not a balancing act, but rather it's about holding the tension of opposites The difficulty of living without resolution The human psyche identifies with things - it searches for an identity The story of the tree from the garden of Eden is a warning against thinking one knows what perfect good and perfect evil is. It's a warning against dualistic thinking. Trans-rational thinking is beyond access to the rational mind The 6 things that require trans-rational thinking How we can be active in our world but not hate our enemies That we've confused information with transformation Soft Prophecy That the message of the prophets is only about 2% about foretelling Jesus How important it is to change your mind How we've confused cleaning up, growing up, waking up and showing up in our lives That the ego wants 2 things: to be separate and superior Projectors vs Introjectors That prayer is about changing you, not changing God You'll be as hard on other people as you are hard on yourself     Please Support The Show with a Donation   .

 a   Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Erik Vance about the power of our expectations Erik Vance is a native Bay Area writer replanted in Mexico as a non-native species. Before becoming a writer he was, at turns, a biologist, a rock climbing guide, an environmental consultant, and an environmental educator. His work focuses on the human element of science – the people who do it, those who benefit from it, and those who do not. He has written for The New York Times, Nature, Scientific American, Harper’s, National Geographic, and a number of other local and national outlets. His first book, Suggestible You, about how the mind and body continually twist and shape our realities was inspired by his feature in Discover.   In This Interview, Erik Vance and I Discuss... All the ways that our brain twists reality in order to make what it expects into reality How our brains are driven by expectations How we take the past, apply it to the present to predict the future Whether we were alive at the same time as saber tooth tigers How powerful the placebo effect How the placebo effect actually generates the neurochemicals in our brain we would expect to see It's not that we imagine we feel a certain way; we really do feel it. "It's All in Your Mind" is totally true How we have a wave of information from our brain, and a wave of information from our body; where they meet is what we feel His experience of being electro-shocked at the NIH How our brains don't want to be wrong How we all have different responses to placebo and type of placebos The gene that helps predict whether you might be a placebo responder Placebo and chronic pain Belief and expectation play a large role in chronic pain The trouble to create new drugs given such high placebo response rates How nocebo's work How much of our pain is create by our expectations The power of hypnosis Hypnosis compared to meditation How fallible our memories are How easy it is to create false memories in people     Please Support The Show with a Donation   It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Adyashanti about waking up Adyashanti, author of The Way of Liberation, Resurrecting Jesus, Falling into Grace, and The End of Your World, is an American-born spiritual teacher devoted to serving the awakening of all beings. His teachings are an open invitation to stop, inquire, and recognize what is true and liberating at the core of all existence. Asked to teach in 1996 by his Zen teacher of 14 years, Adyashanti offers teachings that are free of any tradition or ideology. “The Truth I point to is not confined within any religious point of view, belief system, or doctrine, but is open to all and found within all.” Based in California, Adyashanti teaches throughout the U.S. and in Canada, Europe, and Australia.   In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss... That our work as humans is on the journey from a walking contradiction to a walking paradox That if we see something out of alignment with our value system we feel it in our body as tension That our bodies are our best aid when it comes to navigating our inner consciousness That there are different types of awakening That awakening is a fundamental shift of identity The primary task of any good spiritual teaching is not to answer your questions but to question your answers What to do when you WANT to change but then you can't seem to change The 5 foundations of spirituality What is my aspiration? That wanting to feel pleasure can only take us so far When we start feeling better we'll stop looking deeper Never abdicate your authority That "true" meditation is the art of allowing everything to be exactly as it is That meditation is there for us to get experiential insight into the nature of our being, our consciousness The importance of bringing your intelligence along for the ride in meditation To let go of what the outcome should be in meditation Our whole body is a sensory instrument through which we experience life That self-inquiry is joining the intellectual mind with the contemplative spirit An unresolved deep question is often what sparks an awakening How contemplation is different from meditation and inquiry The three means of evoking insight: contemplation, meditation, and inquiry The Jesus story is a map for awakening How the Jesus story is so compelling What life is like for awakened people That awakening can be sudden and/or it can be a gradual unfolding How enlightenment is the end of one game and the beginning of another The difference between exploration and seeking Whether or not psychedelic drugs play a role in awakening Please Support The Show with a Donation    

[powerpress] Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Dean Quick about the healing power of music Dean Quick, MT-BC is the Program Director and Board Certified Music Therapist for TranscendED, a treatment center for eating disorders. He also provides broader music therapy through his personal practice. He is also a member of the Music Therapy Association of North Carolina.   In This Interview, Dean Quick and I Discuss... His work as a music therapist for people with mental illness How he works with clients who have no musical ability or skill That live music is most effective as well as the client's preferred music in music therapy That music bypasses the cognitive processes of trauma and allows a person to reach a place within themselves that might otherwise be difficult to access How Gabby Giffords has used music to retrain her language That music can ignite the brain unlike anything else Where someone would go to explore music therapy as a patient That music can be used as therapy for children with developmental disabilities How music can be used by anyone as therapy on their own as therapy with some simple approaches Being mindful of the power of music in your own daily life Honoring the feeling in the moment with music Asking yourself "how am I honoring my feeling in this present moment" How we can engage with music in a mindful way to increase the power it has in our lives Using music to pace your practice of progressive muscle relaxation Why it's better to choose our own music rather than buying music playlists that are "for relaxation"     Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Emma Seppälä about success and happiness Emma Seppälä, Ph.D is Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education and the author of The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success. She is also Co-Director of the Yale College Emotional Intelligence Project at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a Lecturer at Yale College where she teaches The Psychology of Happiness.  She consults with Fortune 500 leaders and employees on building a positive organization and teaches in the Yale School of Management’s Executive Education program.  She graduated from Yale (BA), Columbia (MA), and Stanford (PhD).   In This Interview, Emma Seppälä and I Discuss... Her book, The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success The false notion that in order to be successful you have to work so hard that you postpone your happiness The 6 major false theories that are behind our current notions of success The false theory of "You can't have success without stress" That our stress response is only meant to be fight or flight, not "most of the time" That high adrenaline compromises our immune system, our ability to focus, make good decisions The role of meditation in one's success What prevents us from getting into a creative mindset How to manage your energy vs managing your time What we can learn from the resilience in children and animals Where veterans and civilians can go to learn the art of breathing to recover from trauma For Veterans: Project Welcome Home Troops For Civilians: Art of Living How "looking out for #1" can actually be harmful to you Why workplaces are incorporating compassion training     Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Srini Rao about being unmistakable Srini Rao is the host and founder of The Unmistakable Creative podcast. He has written multiple books including the Wall Street Journal bestseller The Art of Being Unmistakable; and his latest book: Unmistakable: Why Only Is Better Than Best He is the creator of the 60-person conference called the Instigator Experience; He has an economics degree from the University of California at Berkeley and an MBA from Pepperdine University. In This Interview, Srini Rao and I Discuss... His book, Unmistakable: Why Only is Better than Best That the process holds so much joy and that there really is no moment of arrival How doing the work itself is the reward and the importance of being present The temptation of trying to copy something that works and expect the same result The three layers under which everyone's unmistakable nature lies Stories, Labels, and Masks The story of I have enough and the story of I don't have enough That labels limit our capacity The importance of constructing environments That 96% of personal development projects fail Just because it's a best practice doesn't mean it's best for you That life is basically just one giant experiment The idea of being ready and how it gets in our way How crucial it is to commit to the process rather than the outcome The insidious nature of validation Our warped perception of longevity     Please Support The Show with a Donation      

Please Support The Show With a Donation   The Middle Way One of the wisest teachings I have found is the middle way. Both Aristotle and the Buddha taught it. The Middle Way has been used as a wisdom tool in many traditions.       Please Support The Show with a Donation     Which Wolf are You Feeding Which Wolf Will You Feed It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

    Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Greg Marcus about the spiritual practice of Mussar Greg Marcus has a BA in Biology from Cornell University, and earned his Ph.D. in biology from MIT.  He worked for ten years as a marketer in the Silicon Valley genomics industry, after which he became a stay-at-home dad, writer, life balance coach, and biotech consultant. Greg’s first book, Busting Your Corporate Idol: Self-Help for the Chronically Overworked, is a five star Amazon best seller. His latest book is called The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions: Finding Balance Through the Soul Traits of Mussar In This Interview, Greg Marcus and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His book, The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions: Finding Balance Through the Soul Traits of Mussar Mussar: A Thousand Year Old Hebrew Spiritual Practice Soul Traits That you can be too truthful and it can  be counter productive That being untruthful to spare yourself embarrassment is not ok That being untruthful to spare someone else's feelings can be ok And the intention is the most important determiner of whether or not to tell the truth Choice points The evil inclination and the good inclination Mussar helps us by opening the space between "the match and the fuse" That we all have free will but it's not always accessible to us What qualifies as an act of kindness Mussar = "Extreme Spiritual Fitness" Morning Mantra, Daily observations and practices, Evening journaling Mussar helps you specialize and deepen your knowledge and practice of the Soul Traits The four assumptions of Mussar: We all have a divine spark that is occluded by our baggage We all have the same Soul Traits but we have different amounts of each We have a conflict between the good inclination and the evil inclination We all have free will and it's not always accessible to us That patience is the cure for helplessness Mussar: repairing the Soul Traits within us and how it can help the world     Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Brian Tom O'Connor Brian Tom O’Connor is an actor, theatre director, cabaret performer, and formerly depressed guy who stumbled onto the source of joy and happiness in the background of all experience.  He is the author of the book: Awareness Games: Playing With Your Mind to Create Joy In This Interview, Brian Tom O'Connor and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book, Awareness Games: Playing with Your Mind to Create Joy Real reality vs Virtual reality Why games are a more effective approach than questions to exploring awareness The fact that you don't have to believe anything to play a game That trying to reproduce an experience isn't doable That trying to get rid of an unpleasant feeling isn't doable That the mind is an excellent servant but a poor master The power of noticing "the whiteboard itself" rather than what's written on it The three basic questions: What's in awareness now? What is awareness? Who/what is aware? The Future Fishing game The Past Catching game The game, Slippery Mind That awareness games can be a good break from a serious meditation practice The benefit of allowing emotions to flow through you The game, Include Include Include Please Support The Show with a Donation  

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Emily Esfahani Smith Emily Esfahani Smith is the author of The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters She graduated from Dartmouth College and earned a master of applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. She writes about psychology, culture, and relationships. Her writing has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, New York Times,Time, The Atlantic, and other publications. Emily is also a columnist for The New Criterion, as well as an editor at the Stanford University's Hoover Institution,   In This Interview, Emily Esfahani Smith and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Her new book: The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters The difference between happiness and meaning That the defining feature of a meaningful life is connecting and contributing to something that lies beyond the self The three criteria of a meaningful life: feeling that one's life is significant in some way, feeling that one's life is driven by a sense of purpose and feeling that one's life is coherent That human beings are meaning-seeking creatures That there's more to life than feeling happy That our current culture doesn't emphasize meaning and purpose Victor Frankel's important work related to the role of meaning in our lives The role of meaning when facing adversity That responsibility and duty are wellsprings of meaning That the wellsprings of meaning are all around us The four pillars of a meaningful life: Belonging, Purpose, Storytelling, and Transcendence The wisdom in what George Eliot has to say about the people that keep the world going in small yet indispensable ways: that the goodness of the world is dependent on their unhistoric acts What kind of relationships lead to a sense of belonging That purpose can come in all shapes and sizes That reflecting on the story of your life can lead to a greater sense of meaning in your life The two different types of storytelling That transcendent experiences are crucial to having a greater sense of meaning in life The good news about what's happening to us as a species       Please Support The Show with a Donation  

    Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Koshin Paley Ellison Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison, cofounded the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care,  which delivers contemplative approaches to care through education, direct service, and meditation practice.  Koshin is the co-editor of Awake at the Bedside: Contemplative Teachings on Palliative and End of Life Care . He received his clinical training at Mount Sinai Beth Israel Medical Center and the Jungian Psychoanalytic Association. He began is formal Zen training in 1987. He is a senior Zen monk, Soto Zen teacher, ACPE supervisor, and Jungian psychotherapist.   In This Interview, Koshin Paley Ellison and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book: Awake at the Bedside: Contemplative Teachings on Palliative and End of Life Care The influence of his grandmother on his life and his work The story that changed his life forever That to truly love someone means to love all of the parts of them, even the ones you don't understand or like The importance of asking "where am I contracting away from things around me?" How we get into trouble because of our aversion The power of asking "I'm so curious about why you are angry?" Learning how to feel the feeling without becoming the feeling How his job is not to change people but to be with people That it's difficult for someone to move until their cry has been fully heard and received The healing connection with other people That dying people reflect on how well they loved and who loved them in their lives The recipe of resiliency: Including ourselves in how we care, the importance of community and having a contemplative practice with a group The relationship between having a contemplative practice and caring for the dying Learning how to give and receive freely = generosity To show up with beginners mind, to bear witness and identifying the loving action are the three important teachings for service Operationalized meditation         Please Support The Show with a Donation    

    This week we talk to Dr. Rick Hanson about hardwiring happiness into our brain Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a neuropsychologist and author of Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence as well as Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love  and Wisdom and Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time. He is the Founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom and an Affiliate of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, he's been an invited speaker at Oxford, Stanford, and Harvard, and taught in meditation centers worldwide. An authority on self-directed neuroplasticity, Dr. Hanson's work has been featured on the BBC, NPR, CBC, Fox Business, Consumer Reports Health, U.S. News and World Report, and O Magazine, and his articles have appeared in Tricycle Magazine, Insight Journal, and Inquiring Mind. In This Interview Rick and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable. His latest book: Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence. That feeding the good wolf is a daily habit. How it's our responsibility to feed our good wolf- no one can do it for us. How frequently our brain changes. Experience-dependent neuroplasticity. That our brains are like velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good. Deciding what we cultivate and what do you restrain. The human tendency to overlearn from our bad experiences and under learn from our good ones. Learning to "install" our beneficial experiences. His practice of "taking in the good". The difference between positive thinking and taking in the good. The benefits of realistic thinking over positive thinking. Moving positive memories into longer term memory. How neurons that fire together wire together. Ways to deepen our experiences: Duration, Intensity, Multimodality, Novelty and Salience. The fundamental neuropsychology of learning, Taking on the good in four words: Have it, Enjoy It. How self hate and harshness are not motivating in the long term. Being numb from the neck down. The three-step way to working with negative emotions. The analogy of a garden for how we tend to our minds: Be with the Garden, Pull the Weeds, Plan Flowers.        

  This week we talk to Glennon Doyle Melton about staying open to life    In This Interview Glennon and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable. Having to get through the bad stuff to get to the good stuff. Being terrified of pain. If we work with our negative emotions we can transform them into something beautiful. The benefit of sitting with our negative emotions. Learning to use envy as a positive tool. Losing ourselves to pretending and addition. The continuous journey of valleys and mountains. Being "brutiful". How pain is a harsh but great teacher. How a broken heart is not the end of anything, it's the beginning. Using pain as fuel. The mantra "staying open". The power of service and art. We can numb our feelings and hide or feel our feelings and share. The power of the words "Me Too". How getting sober is like recovering from frostbite. Getting sober is hard but being sober is wonderful. The benefit of being forced to our knees. How no one is allowed to try and give you perspective in the middle of your pain. Bringing our whole selves to all our roles in lives. Surface conversations leave us lonely all the time because everyones surface is different, at deeper levels we are all the same. The fear of being honest about who we are.        

    This week we talk to BJ Fogg about changing our behavior Dr. BJ Fogg directs the Persuasive Tech Lab at Stanford University. A psychologist and innovator, he devotes half of his time to industry projects. His work empowers people to think clearly about the psychology of persuasion — and then to convert those insights into real-world outcomes. BJ is the creator of the Fogg Behavioral Model, a new model of human behavior change, which guides research and design. Drawing on these principles, his students created Facebook Apps that motivated over 16 million user installations in 10 weeks. He is the author of Persuasive Technology: Using Computers to Change What We Think and Do, a book that explains how computers can motivate and influence people.  BJ is also the co-editor of Mobile Persuasion, as well as Texting 4 Health. Fortune Magazine selected BJ Fogg as one of the  “10 New Gurus You Should Know”.  In This Interview BJ and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable The wolf you pay attention to is the one you feed The two main limits in life: time and attention The Fogg Behavioral Model- Motivation, Ability and Triggers How behavior change is about more than motivation Designing effective behavior change Managing the Ability part of the behavioral model Designing behavior to fit into our every day routines The bigger the change the more motivation you need Why taking baby steps is so important How motivation comes and goes How behaviors get easier to do day after day Building upon small successes That the ability to change behavior is not a character issue Keeping habits going during difficult times Creating good triggers Thinking about behavior change as behavior design Super Habits That triggers need to change with context changes The importance of celebrating small habit changes How emotions create habits  

  This week we talk to James Clear about building habits  James Clear is an entrepreneur, weightlifter, and travel photographer. He writes at JamesClear.com, where he talks about scientific research and real-world experiences that help you rethink your health and improve your life. His blog gets millions of visitors per year.  In This Interview James and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable. How money can be an addiction that society rewards. How much we over estimate one defining moment versus steady day to day behavior. The aggregation of marginal gains- improve by 1% in everything you do. Small changes can lead to big results. Reduce the Scope, Stick to The Schedule. Not letting your emotions drive your behavior. The difference between professionals and amateurs. It's not the result that matters but the action and habit. The 2 Minute Rule. How willpower often comes after we start, not before. "Start with something so easy you can't say no to it"- Leo Babuta You don't have to be great at the start, you just need to be there. Learning from our failures and seeing it as a data point. Seeing failure as an event, not as part of us. How mentally tough people define themselves by their persistence, not failure. Acquiring more mental toughness or grit. How 21 days to create a habit is a myth. Missing a habit once in awhile is not a big deal.        

    Please Support The Show With a Donation This week on The One You Feed we have Noah Levine. We were lucky enough to sit down with Noah in the Against the Stream headquarters in Los Angeles. Noah's teachings are core to everything that I have come to believe over the years. I'm really excited to present this interview. Noah Levine (born 1971) is an American Buddhist teacher and the author of the books Dharma Punx: A Memoir , Against the Stream,  and The Heart of The Revolution. As a counselor known for his philosophical alignment with Buddhism and punk ideology, he founded Against the Stream Buddhist Meditation Society.  As a youth, Levine was incarcerated several times. His first book, Dharma Punx, details teenage years filled with drugs, violence, and multiple suicide attempts—choices fuelled by disillusionment with American mainstream culture. His substance abuse started early in life—at age six he began smoking marijuana—and finally ended in a padded detoxification cell in juvenile prison 11 years later. It was in this cell where he hit "an emotional rock bottom" and began his Buddhist practice "out of a place of extreme drug addiction and violence". He recently started Refuge Recovery which is a community of people who are using the practices of mindfulness, compassion, forgiveness and generosity to heal the pain and suffering that addiction has caused. His new book is titled Refuge Recovery: A Buddhist Path to Recovery from Addiction. In This Interview Noah and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable. How he found Buddhism through his life failures. What "going against the stream" means. That the bad wolf has a stronger tendency in us and wins by default. How our capacity for kindness, generosity, and love have to be cultivated. Why the path of the Buddha is revolutionary. Going against the status quo. How to be in the world but not of it. The distinction between suffering and pain. The difference between craving and desire. Why suffering is not your fault. How the 1st Noble Truth normalizes the experience of suffering. The impermanent nature of all things. How we can never satisfy happiness through sense pleasure. How we layer suffering on top of our pain.        

    Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Dr. Dan Siegel Daniel Siegel, MD is a graduate of Harvard Medical School and completed his postgraduate medical education at UCLA He is currently a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, and executive director of theMindsight Institute, an educational center devoted to promoting insight, compassion, and empathy in individuals, families, institutions, and communities. His books include Mindsight, The Developing Mind and Parenting from the Inside Out  He has been invited to lecture for the King of Thailand, Pope John Paul II, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Google University, and TEDx. His latest book is called Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human   In This Interview, Dr. Dan Siegel and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book: Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human That where attention goes, neuro-firing flows and neuro-connection grows in the brain The mind is not only what the brain does, or brain firing The mind is more than merely energy and information flow The mind is a self-organizing, emergent and relational process that is regulating the flow of energy and information both within you and between you and the world The role of differentiating and linking in a healthy mind That an unhealthy mind is too rigid and/or too chaotic The importance of integrating rigidity and chaos in the brain The Connectone Studies The fact that integration of the brain is the best indicator of a person's well-being That when we honor the differences between us and promote linkage between us and others, we foster integration in our brains That people with trauma have impaired integration memory What "mindsight" is and how it differentiates from mindfulness How mindfulness can help foster mindsight and well-being The wheel of awareness That change seems to involve awareness That energy is the movement from possibility to actuality through a series of probabilities     Please Support The Show With a Donation  

    Our guest today is Maria Popova: a writer, blogger, and critic living Brooklyn, NY.  She is best known for Brainpickings.org, which features her writing on culture, books, and many other subjects. Brain Pickings is seen by millions of readers every month. Maria’s describes her work as  a human-powered discovery engine for interestingness, a subjective lens on what matters in the world and why, bringing you things you didn’t know you were interested in — until you are….  In This Interview Maria and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable. The critical importance of kindness. The 7 things she has learned from 7 years of Brain Pickings. Being so impatient that we don't dig deeper to understand peoples motivations. The difference between wisdom and knowledge. How we've become bored with thinking. How we have a biological aversion to being wrong. The uncomfortable luxury of changing our minds. How being open minded requires being open hearted. That as the stakes get higher we are less likely to be willing to change our mind. How most world religions exist to take away the feeling of not knowing. Presence is more important than productivity. How we can see spiritual growth as another thing to mark off on our checklist. Dispelling the illusion of the self. How we are creatures of contradictions. Trying to remove contradictions from our lives is a fools errand. Learning to love and live the questions. How it's silly to try and choose between the body and the soul, both are equally important. Why cat pictures on the internet will not relieve your existential emptiness. The average person spends two hours a day looking at their phone. That habit is how we weave our destiny. Whether we need to get something done every 4 minutes of our lives? Balancing presence and productivity. How it's easier to be a critic than a celebrator. Expect anything worthwhile to take a long time. There is no such thing as an overnight success.                  

For Group Transformation Program email eric@oneyoufeed.net   To make a donation click here   This week on The One You Feed we have Dan Millman. Dan is a former world champion athlete, university coach, martial arts instructor, and college professor as well as a best selling author. After an intensive, twenty-year spiritual quest, Dan’s teaching found its form as the Peaceful Warrior’s Way, expressed fully in his books and lectures. His work continues to evolve over time, to meet the needs of a changing world. Dan’s thirteen books, including Way of the Peaceful Warrior, have inspired and informed millions of readers in 29 languages worldwide. The feature film, “Peaceful Warrior,” starring Nick Nolte, was adapted from Dan’s first book, based upon incidents from his life. In This Interview Dan and I discuss… The One You Feed parable. The choice we face every day. What does window cleaning have to do with spirituality? How to get moving in the right direction. How life always comes down to whether or not you take the action. Starting small and connecting the dots. That a little of something is better than nothing. The danger of the all or nothing mentality. That knowledge alone is not enough. Life purpose. A definition of wisdom. Skillful versus unskillful action. The Four Purposes of Life. How life is a perfect school and the lessons get harder if we don’t learn. The conventional realm and the transcendental realm. The process of writing a book with his daughter.

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Claire Hoffman Claire Hoffman works as a magazine writer living in Los Angeles, writing for national magazines, covering culture, religion, celebrity, business and whatever else seems interesting. She was formerly a staff reporter for the Los Angeles Times and a freelance reporter for the New York Times. She has a masters degree in religion from the University of Chicago, and a masters degree in journalism from Columbia University. She serves on the board of her family foundation, the Goldhirsh Foundation, as well as the Columbia Journalism School. Claire is a native Iowan and has been meditating since she was three years old. Her new book is called: Greetings from Utopia Park: Surviving a Transcendent Childhood. In This Interview, Claire Hoffman and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Her new book: Greeting from Utopia Park: Surviving a Transcendent Childhood. Growing up in a transcendental meditation community How that community changed over time The meditation only trailer park Rationality versus belief How things can be so much more beautiful and strange than logic allows Moving away from the meditation community in her late teens Being tired of the negative cynical voice in her head Revisiting the meditation community many years later Can meditation cause people to levitate? Quieting the cynical doubting mind Is evolution antithetical to happiness? Yogic flying: what it is and what it looks like How she felt about seeing her mom attempt to fly The desire to escape being human, to be divine That part if being who she is is feeling uncomfortable Accepting what it's like to be a person Her evolution as a meditator That she doesn't aspire to being enlightened Claire Hoffman Links Homepage Twitter Facebook Please Support The Show with a Donation  

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Jesse Browner Jesse Browner is the author of the novels The Uncertain Hour and Everything Happens Today. His latest book is the memoir How Did I Get Here: Making Peace with the Road Not Taken. Browner has also translated books by Jean Cocteau, Paul Eluard and Rainer Maria Rilke, as well as Frédéric Vitoux's award-winning Céline: A Biography. More recently, he translated Matthieu Ricard's Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill and Frédéric Mitterrand's The Bad Life. His freelance writing includes contributions to Nest magazine, Food & Wine, Gastronomica, New York magazine, The New York Times Book Review, Paris Review, Salon.com, Slate.com and others. . In This Interview, Jesse Browner and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book, How Did I Get Here? Making Peace with the Road Not Taken That in our "unlived lives" we are always happier and more fulfilled Making peace with the choices we've made in our lives How to approach the question, "what if" by asking instead, "what is" That the most persistent monkey on an artists back is happiness The belief that happiness whitewashes all the things that makes us unique Bet on the likelihood that you're not a genius and that you can make meaning in your life in other ways than your art Why bet against yourself? To work hard at something you love: you'll be the best you can His life's motto: Work and Love How he's been called "the angry Buddhist" by his children The importance of and remedy in being more deeply involved in the life you have     Please Support The Show with a Donation  

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Lesley Hazleton Lesley Hazleton  is a British-American author whose work focuses on "the vast and volatile arena in which politics and religion intersect." Her latest book, Agnostic: A Spirited Manifesto, a Publishers Weekly most-anticipated book of spring 2016, was praised by The New York Times as "vital and mischievous" and as "wide-ranging... yet intimately grounded in our human, day-to-day life." Hazleton previously reported from Jerusalem for Time, and has written on the Middle East for numerous publications including The New York Times, The New York Review of Books, Harper's, The Nation, and The New Republic. Born in England, she was based in Jerusalem from 1966 to 1979 and in New York City from 1979 to 1992, when she moved to a floating home in Seattle, originally to get her pilot's license, and became a U.S. citizen. She has two degrees in psychology (B.A. Manchester University, M.A. Hebrew University of Jerusalem). Hazleton has described herself as "a Jew who once seriously considered becoming a rabbi, a former convent schoolgirl who daydreamed about being a nun, an agnostic with a deep sense of religious mystery though no affinity for organized religion"."Everything is paradox," she has said. "The danger is one-dimensional thinking". In April 2010, she launched The Accidental Theologist, a blog casting "an agnostic eye on religion, politics, and existence." In September 2011, she received The Stranger's Genius Award in Literature and in fall 2012, she was the Inaugural Scholar-in-Residence at Town Hall Seattle. In This Interview, Lesley Hazleton and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Her new book, Agnostic: A Spirited Manifesto Why she is a curious agnostic That belief is an emotional attachment That belief is an attempt to establish fact when there is no fact To be a "believer" means you've made up your mind The double meaning of the word "conviction" Why she loves doubt Why binaries concern her That agnostics are often mislabeled as wishy-washy or indecisive How to take joy in our own absurdity That you don't have to believe in a fact because a fact just exists The human tendency to find pattern in anything That perfection is boring     Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Benjamin Shalva Benjamin Shalva is the nationally renowned author of Ambition Addiction: How to Go Slow, Give Thanks, and Discover Joy Within and Spiritual Cross-Training: Searching through Silence, Stretch, and Song and has been published in the Washington Post, Elephant Journal, and Spirituality & Health magazine. A rabbi, writer, meditation teacher, and yoga instructor, he leads spiritual seminars and workshops around the world.  In This Interview, Benjamin Shalva and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book, Ambition Addiction: How to go slow, give thanks and discover the Joy Within That ambition can be healthy and it can also cross the line to being destructive The casualties ambition can leave behind The mirage of "any day now" The signs and symptoms of ambition addiction That addictive behavior is something we do often and it's counterproductive The helpfulness of the question: Is my goal an all or nothing goal? That the road to hell is not paved with good intentions, it's paved with unexamined intentions Recovering from ambition addiction The technique of breath, word and deed The key step of slowing down   Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Michelle Gielan Michelle Gielan, national CBS News anchor turned positive psychology researcher, is the bestselling author of Broadcasting Happiness. Michelle is the Founder of the Institute for Applied Positive Research and is partnered with Arianna Huffington to study how transformative stories fuel success. She is an Executive Producer of “The Happiness Advantage” Special on PBS and a featured professor in Oprah’s Happiness course. Michelle holds a Master of Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, and her research and advice have received attention from The New York Times, Washington Post, FORBES, CNN, FOX, and Harvard Business Review.  In This Interview, Michelle Gielan and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Her new book, Broadcasting Happiness: The Science of Igniting and Sustaining Positive Change The role that watching the news has in causing us to feel depressed How three minutes of negative news can lead to a 27% lower mood all day long How believing we are helpless can be one of the leading causes of depression The importance of believing that our behavior matters The three greatest predictors of success Stress isn't necessarily bad, it's the perception that matters Feeding the good wolf in others The myth that we can't change other people Is this positive thinking? Focusing on the good The power lead   Please Support The Show with a Donation      

  Get more information on The One You Feed Coaching Program. Enrollment open until November 22nd Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Roger Housden about dropping the struggle Roger Housden founded and ran The Open Gate, a conference and workshop center in England that introduced the work of Ram Dass, Thich Nath Hanh, and many others into Europe. His work has been featured many times in The Oprah Magazine, The New York Times, and the Los Angeles Times. His first book was published in the U.K. in 1990, and as of 2014, he has published twenty two books, including four travel books, a novella, Chasing Love and Revelation, and the best-selling Ten Poems series, which began in 2001 with Ten Poems to Change Your Life and ended with the publication in 2012 of Ten Poems to Say Goodbye. His latest book is called Dropping the Struggle: Seven Ways to Love the Life You Have  In This Interview, Roger Housden and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book, Dropping the Struggle: Seven Ways to Love the Life You Have The power of poetry to reach deeper than the rational mind That struggle is not the same thing as effort That struggle is not the same thing as work That struggle is an extra push that really originates in fear, adding a note of desperation, that rarely ever works For more show notes visit our website  

This is a very brief summary of my thinking today post-election.    

  Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Mike McHargue about beliefs Mike McHargue (better known as Science Mike) is the best-selling author of Finding God in the Waves, host of Ask Science Mike and co-host of The Liturgists Podcast. He's a leading voice on matters of science and religion with a monthly reach in the hundreds of thousands. Among other outlets, Mike has written for RELEVANT, Don Miller's Storyline, BioLogos, and The Washington Post.  In This Interview, Mike McHargue and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book, Finding God in the Waves His analogy of our brains being like the government Where God is found in our brains That if you continually analyze your relationship with a person, eventually that relationship will be less emotionally based and more intellectually based That the arts as well as anything looked at or experienced as a whole rather than reductively will help feed your "romantic" wolf in a relationship His journey from the Southern Baptist Church to losing his faith to where he is today His faith today is a posture of gratitude, surrender, an awareness that life is just something that we have that we didn't do anything to receive and it is a rare and precious gift and that he extends that gratitude to God (which is found in our unique human capacity to love) For more show notes visit our website

    This week we talk to Shinzen Young about the science of enlightenment Shinzen Young is an American mindfulness teacher and neuroscience research consultant. His systematic approach to categorizing, adapting and teaching meditation has resulted in collaborations with Harvard Medical School, Carnegie-Mellon University and the University of Vermont in the burgeoning field of contemplative neuroscience. He is the author of The Science of Enlightenment, Natural Pain Relief  and numerous audio offerings.    Please Support The Show With a Donation  In This Interview, Shinzen Young and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book, The Science of Enlightenment The five fundamental good wolves The skill set of mindful awareness How meditation helps you concentrate How the ability to concentrate is at the base of the pyramid of anything you want to do That mindful awareness is the ability to focus on anything you want, whenever you want for as long as you want Untangle and be free How to break down our inner space How to track your sense of self Breaking the self down into these three things: Mental images, mental talk and body emotions That when you have a strong emotion you almost always will have a change in body sensation How to parcel body sensation into emotional and non-emotional The experiment you can do when you move into a situation that is emotionally intense but that is not currently intense How to suffer less in life and be 10x happier The difference between pain and suffering The habit of equanimity That one of the goals of meditations is to achieve happiness regardless of conditions The periodic table of meditation techniques The unified mindfulness system A "name and claim" meditation     Please Support The Show with a Donation    

  Please Support The Show by Donation   This week we talk to Michael Bungay Stanier about habits Michael Bungay Stanier is the founder of Box of Crayons, a company that helps organizations do less Good Work and more Great Work. He’s the author of several books, including The Coaching Habit and Do More Great Work. Michael has written for or been featured in numerous publications including Business Insider, Fast Company, Forbes, The Globe & Mail and The Huffington Post. He was the 2006 Canadian Coach of the Year. He was a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford University and holds a Masters of Philosophy from Oxford, and law and arts degrees with highest honors from the Australian National University.  In This Interview, Michael Bungay Stanier and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book, The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More and Change the Way You Lead Forever The way that the question, How do you stay curious for just a little bit longer? Can transform the way you show up in your life How feeling safe can help us access our highest selves The power of sitting in the ambiguity of asking a question rather than jumping to the feeling of certainty of telling someone an answer The Karpman Drama Triangle: the victim, the persecutor & the rescuer The heart of the Victim role: There's only one way to do this, but you don't like the way it's being done. The best coaching question in the world: And what else? That the first answer someone gives you isn't their only answer and it's rarely their best answer. It's a great self-management tool for rescuers because it keeps you from jumping in, it allows you to stay curious a little bit longer It's a great question for the victim role because it helps give them other options Most people only consider two options before making a decision: should I stay or should I go? Asking this question can give you a third option The five essential components to building an effective new habit That 45% of our waking behavior is habitual The 95% of our brain activity happens in the unconscious brain Since it's inevitable that when building a new habit you will "fall off the bus" or fail, it's important that you have a plan for what you'll do at that point How do you hold yourself firmly but compassionately accountable when it comes to changing your behavior? The kickstart question - a good way to start conversation with anybody: What's on your mind   Please Support The Show by Donation    

  Please Support The Show by Donation   This week we talk to Eric Kaufmann about leadership Eric Kaufmann guides leaders to make better decisions and achieve better results. He has consulted for hundreds of leaders, including executives and teams at Sony, T-Mobile, Genentech, Alcon Labs, and Teradata. He is the founder and president of Sagatica, Inc. and serves on the board of the San Diego Zen Center. His new book is called the Four Virtues of a Leader and shares practical ideas and tools that deepen a leader’s ability to be efficient, effective and deliberate.    In This Interview, Eric Kaufmann and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book, The Four Virtues of a Leader How leadership is like The Hero's Journey How he used the spiritual bypass His definition of leadership Leadership in day to day life His four questions surrounding leadership The three hurdles we have to overcome to be effective His definition of courage Ways you can build courage The important difference between fear and anxiety The lifelong process of discipline The three gems of Buddhism Procrastination How spiritual surrender plays into leadership Please Support The Show by Donation   It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

  Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group   This week we talk to Jonathan Fields about living a good life Jonathan Fields is a New York City dad, husband, and he currently runs a mission-driven media and education venture, Good Life Project, where he and his team lead a global community in the quest to live more meaningful, connected and vital lives. He produces a top-rated podcast and video-series with millions of listens and views, where he hosts in-depth conversations with leading voices from Sir Ken Robinson to Brene Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert and hundreds more. Jonathan has also been featured widely in the media, including everything from The New York Times, Wall Street Journal and FastCompany to Real Simple, O Magazine, Self, People, Vogue, Elle, Allure, and many others. His latest book is called How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom  In This Interview, Jonathan Fields and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book, How to Live a Good Life: Soulful stories, surprising science and practical wisdom The three good life buckets: Connection, Vitality, Contribution Improving your experience in your "day job" The mistake in his business manifesto: Thou shalt do epic shit The role that money plays in living a good life That the way that you spend your money plays a big role in a satisfying life What gives you a sense of purpose? What in your life do you do passionately? Sparks The middle way Three ways to deal with the energy vampires in your life: self-care, compassion & find your beacon That your life can only be as good as the level of your lowest bucket How to improve your life by assessing the levels of your buckets and what actions to then take Jonathan Fields Links Homepage Twitter Facebook Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group    

  Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group   This week we talk to Barbara Karnes about living and dying well Barbara Karnes, RN, is an internationally respected speaker, educator, author and thought leader on matters of death and dying. She is a renowned authority to explain the dying process to families, healthcare professionals and the community at large. Barbara has held both clinical and leadership positions, including staff nurse, clinical supervisor and executive director. She has won numerous awards including THE INTERNATIONAL HUMANITARIAN WOMAN OF THE YEAR 2015 from the World Humanitarian Awards.  In This Interview, Barbara Karnes and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable That knowledge reduces fear How her work with & knowledge of the dying process influences how she lives That as long as we're breathing it is an act of living What to do when one receives a terminal diagnosis The labor of dying The process of gradual death The significant changes that happen 1-3 weeks before death How to know if someone is minutes to hours away from their death That dying is not painful; disease causes pain The spiritual driver releasing its hold on the physical body The importance of telling the dying person that you understand that they  For more show notes visit our website   Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group    

  Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group   This week we talk to Melody Warnick Melody Warnick has been a freelance journalist for more than a decade, she has written for Reader’s Digest, O: The Oprah Magazine, Redbook, The Atlantic’s CityLab, and dozens of other publications. She is the author of This Is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live.  How we come to feel at home in our towns and cities is what Warnick sets out to discover in This Is Where You Belong. She dives into the body of research around place attachment—the deep sense of connection that binds some of us to our cities and increases our physical and emotional well-being—then travels to towns across America to see it in action.  In This Interview, Melody Warnick and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Moving often Liking where you live Committing to where you are and making the best of it The difference between people who are movers, stuck and rooted Always thinking happiness is "out there" somewhere Why walking more helps you love where you live What is your Walk Score Each town is different to each person depending on perspective- there is no objective town Where would you take visitors in your town? Taking advantage of the things your town offers The paradox of choice How important nature is in feeding your good wolf and loving where you live Buying local The power of "weak ties" Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group    

  Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group   This week we talk to Taylor Hunt Taylor Hunt is a devoted student of Ashtanga, a system of yoga originally transmitted by Sri K. Pattabhi Jois. The system is now transmitted by his teacher, Sharath Jois, in Mysore, India. Taylor was the first Ashtanga teacher in Ohio granted Level II Authorization to teach from the Sri K. Pattabhi Jois Ashtanga Yoga Institute (KPJAYI) in Mysore, India. He is dedicated to sharing the transformative and healing practice with others by teaching daily Mysore classes at Ashtanga Yoga Columbus and offering workshops around the country. He is also the author of the recently published book, A Way From Darkness, and director of the Trini Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to sharing the life-changing practice of Ashtanga with those suffering from addiction.  In This Interview, Taylor Hunt and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable How the parable applies to a person with addiction Addiction = A disease of denial His book, A Way From Darkness The varying amounts of meeting attendance and other support mechanisms in the recovery process The importance of being connected to one's self in a healthy life The importance of state of mind and intention when it comes to the practice of yoga The ways emotions show up in our body Ashtanga Yoga How he helps his students connect to their yoga practice on a spiritual level The importance of not comparing your insides with someone else's outsides The surprising thing that his dad said to him when he asked for his blessing to go to India "Bring Your Ass to Class" How he built the self-discipline to cultivate a consistent yoga practice The danger of identifying ourselves with our thoughts     Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group    

Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group   This week we talk to Tara Brach Tara Brach is an American psychologist and proponent of Buddhist meditation. She is a guiding teacher and founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D.C  Brach also teaches Buddhist meditation at centers for meditation and yoga in the United States and Europe including Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, California, the Kripalu Center,and the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies. Brach is an engaged Buddhist specializing in the application of Buddhist teachings to emotional healing. Her 2003 book, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha, focuses on the use of practices such as mindfulness for healing trauma. Her 2013 book, True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart, offers practices for tapping into inner peace and wisdom in the midst of difficulty.  In This Interview, Tara Brach and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Being kind to the parts of ourselves that are more primitive The difference between feelings and thoughts Dropping the storyline The question of "What am I unwilling to feel?" How we have to go through the difficult emotions to get to peace The importance of remembering the good Not being addicted to suffering The habit of looking for what's wrong What's the moment like if there is no problem How we tend to always anticipating a problem  How we are almost always lost in thought Practicing coming into our senses Self-compassion as the most important quality on the spiritual path Only being taught one type of meditation Trying different types of meditation until we find the one that works best for us. For more show notes visit our website  

  This week we talk to Matthew Quick about mental health Our guest this week is Matthew Quick. He is here for his second visit to The One You Feed. He is the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook, which was made into an Oscar-winning film; as well as many other novels. His work has been translated into more than thirty languages, received a PEN/Hemingway Award Honorable Mention, was an LA Times Book Prize finalist, a New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice, and selected by Nancy Pearl as one of Summer’s Best Books for NPR. His latest book is called Every Exquisite Thing    Our Sponsor this Week is Casper Mattress Visit casper.com/wolf and use the promo code “wolf” to get $50 off!!   In This Interview, Matthew Quick and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Short term pleasure versus long term gain Imposter Syndrome Thinking that money and fame will create happiness Removing the stigma of mental health Intrinsic vs extrinsic goals What drives us The voice of depression Finding the middle ground between rebellion and conformity The power of literature to allow us to see different worlds and possibilities How sometimes quitting is the right approach Parental understanding  How his father thought he was crazy to leave a job to become a writer The pressure to be someone that everyone else wants you to be Letting our children be who they are How lonely people need to find each other How we need music and art to rally around Social anxiety and depression The role of mental health in creating art The artist as the canary in the coal mine How being adjusted to a sick society is not healthy How do we know if we are artistic, mentally ill or just different Affecting an air of superiority over "normal" people For more show notes visit our website  

  Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group   This week we talk to Howard Martin (HeartMath) about the intelligence of the heart Howard Martin is one of the original leaders who helped found HeartMath. HeartMath was founded to help individuals, organizations and the global community incorporate the heart’s intelligence into their day-to-day experience of life. They do this by connecting heart and science in ways that empower people to greatly reduce stress, build resilience, and unlock their natural intuitive guidance for making better choices. During his career with HeartMath, Howard has delivered programs for Fortune 100 companies, government agencies, all four branches of the U.S. military, and many school system. He coauthored The HeartMath Solution and Heart Intelligence:Connecting with the Intuitive Guidance of the Heart.  In This Interview, Howard Martin (HeartMath) and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable How polarized our world is How important our day to day choices are What "heart intelligence is" The benefit of looking "within" The science of heart intelligence What heart rate variability is How the heart is considered part of our hormonal system The two-way communication between the heart and the brain Measuring heart rate variability  What heart coherence is  The Heart Coherence method How it takes time for these practices to create results The difference between our heart talking and our mind Following our heart HeartMath promotion     Join our new The One You Feed Facebook Discussion Group      

      This week we talk to Ralph White  Ralph White is co-founder of the New York Open Center, America’s leading urban institution of holistic learning where his current role is Creative Director. The Open Center receives almost 60,000 visits annually from participants in its year round programs and has presented the major writers and speakers in the fields of wellness, social/ecological change, inner development, world spiritual traditions, art and creativity  for over twenty seven years. He is an international speaker on spirituality, consciousness, the history of the Western Tradition. He is also editor of the award winning Lapis magazine, and taught the first fully accredited course in holistic thinking and learning at New York University. His new memoir is called: The Jeweled Highway: On The Quest For a Life of Meaning  In This Interview, Ralph White and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable His latest book, The Jeweled Highway The role of music in his life His involvement in building spiritual retreat centers How you retain your centeredness in an urban environment If there are parts of the world that are more conducive to places of spiritual retreat than others The powerful role of retreat centers of bringing together people of like mind The importance of contact with nature The importance of a spiritual practice The importance of cultivating community For more show notes visit our website     A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable. This parable goes by many names including: The Tale of Two Wolves The Parable of the Two Wolves Two Wolves Which Wolf Do You Feed Which Wolf are You Feeding Which Wolf Will You Feed It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

This was on my mind this week. I thought it would be good to revisit this episode- Eric Life will always take effort Most of us have a fantasy that we will hit some point where life won't take effort. We will read the right book, learn the right meditation, rub the right crystal and our troubles will vanish. I think this is a fallacy. Life always take effort, and I think this is good news. It's our unrealistic expectations that cause us problems and cause us pass over what works and chase more snake oil. Make the effort, life is worth it. Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy: Kino MacGregor Strand of Oaks Mike Scott of the Waterboys Todd Henry- author of Die Empty Randy Scott Hyde

  Get more information on The One You Feed Coaching Program. Enrollment open until August 20th   This week we talk to Tami Simon about What Matters Most Tami Simon founded Sounds True at the age of 22 with the mission of disseminating spiritual wisdom. As a pioneer in the conscious business movement, she focuses on bringing authenticity and heart into the workplace while honoring multiple bottom lines. Tami hosts a popular weekly podcast called Insights at the Edge, where she has interviewed many of today's leading teachers, delving deeply into their discoveries and personal experiences on their own journeys. With Sounds True, she has released the audio program Being True: What Matters Most in Work, Life, and Love.  In This Interview, Tami Simon and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable The core invincible goodness that's deep inside of us all Her new audiobook, Being True: What Matters Most in Work, Life and In Love What "There's no there there" means as it relates to enlightenment How she balances both accepting the moment and striving for things in her life The role that healthy ambition plays in daily life The types of feedback that our bodies give us to indicate that things are out of balance What her spiritual practice looks like today Somatic Meditation How she's working on integrating the meditative state into her everyday life The never ending process of deep attending within ourselves The five keys to living with integrity How support plays a big role in us having the courage to bridge the gap between knowing and doing Her experiences with some of the great spiritual teachers that she has met   Get more information on The One You Feed Coaching Program. Enrollment open until August 20th  

Get more information on The One You Feed Coaching Program. Enrollment open until August 20th     This is a bonus episode of Eric being interviewed by Greg Berg on his excellent Life on Purpose podcast From Greg's show notes: What is a life worth living? How do change your behavior and establish lasting habits? Which wolf do you feed? For Life on Purpose Episode #35, my guest is podcast host/producer Eric Zimmer from The One You Feed, which was named one of the Best Health Podcasts of All Time by The Huffington Post. Eric has spent the past two years asking these questions of thought leaders, scientists, and teachers such as Simon Sinek, Byron Katie, don Miguel Ruiz, Sharon Salzberg, Bob Proctor, BJ Fogg, Dan Millman, and many more. Eric joins me for a great, in-depth conversation about his own life journey (being addicted to drugs and homeless 20 years ago), what he’s learned doing the show, tools and tips for self-awareness and behavior change, and much more!     Get more information on The One You Feed Coaching Program. Enrollment open until August 20th   The Tale of Two Wolves A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.  

    This week we talk to Matthew Fox about The Four Paths to God Matthew Fox is an American priest and theologian. Formerly a member of the Dominican Order within the Roman Catholic Church, he became a member of the Episcopal Church following his expulsion from the order in 1993. Fox was an early and influential exponent of a movement that came to be known as Creation Spirituality. The movement draws inspiration from the mystical philosophies of such medieval Catholic visionaries as Hildegard of Bingen, Thomas Aquinas, Saint Francis of Assisi, Julian of Norwich, and Meister Eckhart as well as the wisdom traditions of Christian scriptures. Creation Spirituality is also strongly aligned with ecological and environmental movements of the late 20th century and embraces numerous spiritual traditions around the world. Fox has written 30 books that have sold millions of copies. His latest book is called A Way to God: Thomas Merton's Creation Spirituality Journey  In This Interview, Matthew Fox and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Feeding "the love of life" vs the "love of death" How fear can drive compassion out Embracing the difficult Silence and solitude Balancing engaging with the world vs retreating from it Battling our narcissistic tendencies Learning to let go and let be Developing a "portable solitude" that we can take with us His Four Paths to God- Via Positiva, Via Negativa, Via Creativa, Via Transformativa Creativity as a path towards God Getting "off the cushion" and into the world Via Positiva Awe and astonishment as a path to deeper spirituality Nature as part of the Via Positiva Via Negativa Facing suffering and grieving as part of the Via Negativa Via Transformativa Keeping our attention on being compassionate The "glittering Niagra of Trivia" that is our culture and media Thomas Merton's transition to mysticism Was Thomas Merton assassinated by our government? Technology as the main problem of our time How technology will not redeem us Being expelled from the Dominican Order Supporting homosexuality     A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable. This parable goes by many names including: The Tale of Two Wolves The Parable of the Two Wolves Two Wolves Which Wolf Do You Feed Which Wolf are You Feeding Which Wolf Will You Feed It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

    This week we talk to Conor O'Brien about celebrating our uniqueness Conor O'Brien is an Irish singer and songwriter for the band Villagers. The band came to prominence in 2010 with the release of their debut album, Becoming a Jackal. Released to critical acclaim, the album was shortlisted for the 2010 Mercury Prize and the Choice Music Prize. The band's second studio album, {Awayland} was released in 2013. It won the Choice Music Prize that year and was also shortlisted for the 2013 Mercury Prize. Their 2015 record Darling Arithmetic quickly became on of Eric's favorite records of last year. It also won an Ivors Award for Best Album of the Year.   In This Interview, Conor O'Brien and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Using art to explore our inner challenges His "meditation" song His song about smiling into the void- Nothing Arrived Embracing the difficult How most music tries to cover up the cracks in life How music that seems sad can be very comforting. Being part of something bigger Realizing how little we know Becoming more comfortable talking about his sexuality Being an introvert The sweet relief of knowing nothing comes for free Looking for shortcuts in life and how they don't exist Why being on The One You Feed is sort of like going to a therapist How therapy is less accepted in Ireland as much as America Having faith in the things that make you different Finding the things in ourselves that are unique and magnify them For more show notes visit our website         A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable. This parable goes by many names including: The Tale of Two Wolves The Parable of the Two Wolves Two Wolves Which Wolf Do You Feed Which Wolf are You Feeding Which Wolf Will You Feed It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

    This week we talk to Brad Warner about not being a jerk Brad Warner is an ordained Zen teacher and author of the books There Is No God And He Is Always With You , Sit Down and Shut Up and Hardcore Zen. He’s also a writer for the Suicide Girls website, bass player for the hardcore punk rock group 0DFx (aka Zero Defex), star of the movies “Shoplifting From American Apparel” and “Zombie Bounty Hunter M.D.,” director of the film “Cleveland’s Screaming!” and former vice president of the US branch of the company founded by the man who created Godzilla. His latest book is called: Don't Be a Jerk: Other Practical Advice from Dogen, Japan's Greatest Zen Master - A Radical but Reverent Paraphrasing of Dogen's Treasury of the True Dharma Eye In This Interview, Brad Warner and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His book, Don't Be a Jerk and Other Practical Advice from Dogen, Japan's Greatest Zen Master That we become the people we need to become How a person can be a buddha one minute and a jackass the next That once you realize what your "negative" urges are, they become less attractive for you to respond to The answer to the question, "How do you strive to be a better person AND accept life exactly as it is?" That the most intelligent course of action is the one that benefits everyone involved How one of his teachers said that you need to hold an equal amount of faith and doubt The idea that thoughts are just the secretions of your brain the same way your stomach acid are the secretion of your stomach For more show notes visit our website   A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee Indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable. This parable goes by many names including: The Tale of Two Wolves The Parable of the Two Wolves Two Wolves Which Wolf Do You Feed Which Wolf are You Feeding Which Wolf Will You Feed It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

  This week we talk to Michelle Segar about making lasting change Michelle Segar, PhD, is a motivation scientist and author of critically acclaimed “No Sweat! How the Simple Science of Motivation Can Bring You a Lifetime of Fitness” . She is also the Director of the Sport, Health, and Activity Research and Policy Center (SHARP) at the University of Michigan, and Chair of the U.S. National Physical Activity Plan’s Communications Committee. Her evidence-based ideas about what motivates people to choose and maintain healthy behaviors is changing the conversation across fields. She consults with global organizations on these issues and delivers keynotes and sustainable behavior change trainings. She ran with the Olympic Torch at the 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona. In This Interview, Michelle Segar and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Her book, No Sweat: How the Simple Science of Motivation Can Bring You a Lifetime of Fitness How considering a different "why" for starting to be more physically active can be helpful That why we engage in physical activity and what it is that we do are critical when it comes to us sticking with it How too many "whys" dilute their positive effect on us Intrinsic vs Extrinsic goals How answering the question, "What kind of physical activity did you enjoy doing as a kid?" can be important That we should start doing what makes us feel good and stop doing what makes us feel bad when it comes to physical activity That any physical movement is better than none at all - Everything counts! For more show notes visit our website   A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable. This parable goes by many names including: The Tale of Two Wolves The Parable of the Two Wolves Two Wolves Which Wolf Do You Feed Which Wolf are You Feeding Which Wolf Will You Feed It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

    This week we talk to James R Doty about the power of compassion James R Doty, MD, is a Clinical Professor in the Department of Neurosurgery at Stanford University and the Director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University School of Medicine. He completed his undergraduate education at the University of CA, Irvine and medical school at Tulane University. He trained in neurosurgery at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and completed fellowships in pediatric neurosurgery at Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia. As Director of CCARE, Dr. Doty has collaborated on a number of research projects focused on compassion and altruism including the use of neuro-economic models to assess altruism, use of the CCARE developed compassion cultivation training in individuals and its effect, assessment of compassionate and altruistic judgment utilizing implanted brain electrodes and the use of optogenetic techniques to assess nurturing pathways in rodents. Dr. Doty is also an inventor, entrepreneur and philanthropist having given support to a number of charitable organizations including Children as the Peacemakers, Global Healing, the Pachamama Alliance and Family & Children Services of Silicon Valley. Additionally, he has endowed chairs at major universities including Stanford University and his alma mater, Tulane University. He is on the Board of Directors of a number of non-profit foundations including the Dalai Lama Foundation, of which he is chairman and the Charter for Compassion International of which he is vice-chair. He is also on the International Advisory Board of the Council for the Parliament of the World’s Religions. He is the author of Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart  In This Interview, James R Doty and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His book,  Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart  The impact of compassionate acts on our brain, health and well-being How early in his childhood he felt like a leaf being blown around by an ill wind The four key lessons that, when learned, changed the trajectory of his life The difference between you and your inner voice That when you create the internal circumstances for reaching your goal, that allows for the possibility of the outward circumstances to align themselves for your own success A scientific perspective on the connection between the brain and the heart and the rest of the body For more show notes visit our website

Photo Credit: Dan Kowalski, Bainbridge Island, WA   This week we talk to Parker J Palmer about finding wholeness Parker J. Palmer, is the founder and Senior Partner of the Center for Courage & Renewal. He is a world-renowned writer, speaker and activist who focuses on issues in education, community, leadership, spirituality and social change. He has reached millions worldwide through his nine books, including Let Your Life Speak, The Courage to Teach, A Hidden Wholeness, and Healing the Heart of Democracy. Parker holds a Ph.D. in sociology from the University of California at Berkeley, as well as eleven honorary doctorates, two Distinguished Achievement Awards from the National Educational Press Association, and an Award of Excellence from the Associated Church Press. In 2010, Palmer was given the William Rainey Harper Award whose previous recipients include Margaret Mead, Elie Wiesel, and Paolo Freire. In 2011, he was named an Utne Reader Visionary, one of “25 people who are changing your world.”    Our Sponsor this Week is Casper Mattress Visit casper.com/feed and use the promo code “feed” to get $50 off!!   In This Interview, Parker J Palmer and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable That wholeness is not about perfection but it's about embracing all that we are His book, Hidden Wholeness: A Journey Towards an Undivided Life What the idea of "the Soul" means to him His experiences with clinical depression and the lesson he's learned, a.k.a. "the pearl of great price" What "the divided life" is That we need BOTH community and solitude The voice of depression The important concept of, "If you can't be in community, watch out for being alone and if you can't be alone, watch out for being in community." The idea of "The Circle of Trust" That sometimes giving advice to someone is like giving CPR to people who can breathe for themselves & when we give them CPR, we're actually inhibiting their own capacity to breathe The importance of letting another person work their way to the answer themselves His book, Healing the Heart of Democracy What he has to say about the current state of politics That rather than looking at the right vs left division in politics, another view is to look at the people who think they can't do anything politically and have given up vs the activists That our founding fathers really got it wrong when defining who "we the people" are The important role that conflict brings to our form of government The Five Habits of the Heart that are important to healing the heart of democracy For more show notes visit our webpage  

    This week we talk to A.H. Almaas about spiritual awakening A. H. Almaas is the pen name of A. Hameed Ali, creator of the Diamond Approach to Self-Realization. The Diamond Approach is a contemporary teaching that developed within the context of both ancient spiritual teachings and modern depth psychology theories. Almaas has authored seventeen books about spiritual realization, including the Diamond Heart series, The Pearl Beyond Price, The Void, The Unfolding Now, and The Point of Existence. He founded the Ridhwan School, an inner work school devoted to the realization of True Nature. The orientation of the school is directed toward helping students become aware of and embody their “essence” or essential nature. His latest book is Runaway Realization: Living a Life of Ceaseless Discovery. In This Interview, A.H. Almaas and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable The different layers of consciousness The angelic and animal nature How the animal side is focused on our survival- the drive to survive Being is our fundamental essence Self Realization- when our Being and our identity becomes the same thing The primary method of The Diamond Approach- direct experience of being The process of inquiry Engaging in some practice that questions what we assume to know about ourselves How taking things at face value shortchanges ourselves of deeper knowledge How the separate sense of self is not an illusion, but it is only one of the ways to view reality For more show notes visit our website     A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable. This parable goes by many names including: The Tale of Two Wolves The Parable of the Two Wolves Two Wolves Which Wolf Do You Feed Which Wolf are You Feeding Which Wolf Will You Feed It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

    This week we talk to Norman Rosenthal about transcendental meditation Dr. Norman Rosenthal is a world-renowned psychiatrist, public speaker and best-selling author who is known for his innovative research and inspirational writings. He is currently clinical professor of psychiatry at Georgetown University School of Medicine. He is most known for his discovery of Seasonal Affective Disorder. He is currently clinical professor of psychiatry at Georgetown University School of Medicine. His new book is Supermind: How to Boost Performance and Live a Richer and Happier Life Through Transcendental Meditation.    In This Interview,Norman Rosenthal and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Transcendental Meditation vs Mindfulness meditation His latest book, Supermind: How to boost performance and live a richer and happier life through Transcendental Meditation That whatever we practice, we succeed at  Seasonal Affective Disorder: What it is and how he discovered it That you cannot become a master sailor in calm seas For more show notes visit our website Norman Rosenthal Links Homepage Twitter Facebook   A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable. This parable goes by many names including: The Tale of Two Wolves The Parable of the Two Wolves Two Wolves Which Wolf Do You Feed Which Wolf are You Feeding Which Wolf Will You Feed It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

    This week we talk to Kira Astrayan about overcoming loneliness Kira Asatryan is certified relationship coach, author, blogger, loneliness expert, and speaker. She loves to speak publicly on the topic of loneliness, as it's a problem of epidemic proportions in our modern times. She maintains a private coaching practice in San Francisco where she helps couples, and individuals develop closeness - the antidote to loneliness - in their relationships. She has struggled with loneliness her whole life and has come to find that there are many others out there like her. She has spent her coaching career researching, pondering, and reflecting upon what specifically makes relationships feel good or bad.   In This Interview, Kira Asatryan and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Her book, Stop Being Lonely; Three simple steps to developing close friendships and deep relationships The new type of loneliness in modern society How closeness means direct access to another person's inner world How knowing and caring are the two things that create closeness The importance of seeing others from their perspective and letting them see you from your perspective The role of being interested in and invested in another's well-being That instead of fostering closeness, that worrying about someone can sometimes push them away What it is about technology that can cause distance even when we're around other people That love is not a reliable solution to loneliness For more show notes visit our website  

    This week we talk to John Prendergast about tuning into our body John J. Prendergast, PhD, is a psychotherapist, retired professor of psychology, spiritual teacher, and founder and editor-in-chief of Undivided: The Online Journal of Nonduality and Psychology.  He received my undergraduate degree from UC Santa Cruz and my M.A. and Ph.D. from the California Institute of Integral Studies.  He is licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist.    His latest book is called In Touch: How to Tune into the Inner Guidance of Your Body and Trust Yourself   In This Interview, John Prendergast and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable How important our body is What "knowing" is Learning to trust our deeper knowledge The difference between inner knowing and hunches based on fear Finding true knowing from ego desires The static in our system Observing thoughts as just thoughts For more show notes visit our website

    This week we talk to Russell Simmons about being a giver   Russell Simmons is an American entrepreneur and author. He began his entrepreneurial career in his youth, but on the wrong side of the law, selling marijuana to make money while an active member of a local gang. He then partnered with Rick Rubin to create Def Jam Records, and signed artists like the Beastie Boys, LL Cool J, Public Enemy and Run-D.M.C. He is also The Chairman and CEO of Rush Communications, he cofounded the hip-hop music label Def Jam Recordings and created the clothing fashion lines Phat Farm, Argyleculture, and Tantris. He is also a vocal proponent of meditation and veganism. His latest book is called The Happy Vegan: A Guide to Living a Long, Healthy, and Successful Life In This Interview, Russell Simmons and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable How good givers are great getters Giving before you get Dissociating ourselves from the results of our labors How success and fame don't necessarily make us happy Improving our health through veganism Improving the health of the planet through veganism Corporate greed The horrors of factory farming His experience with Occupy Wall Street The corruption in politics His daily yoga practice Combining yoga, meditation, and veganism Remaining useful and active as we age For more show notes visit our website    

    This week we talk to Benjamin Shalva about spiritual cross training Benjamin Shalva is a rabbi, writer, and yoga instructor, he leads spiritual cross-training seminars and workshops around the world. He received his rabbinical ordination from the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York City and his yoga teacher certification from the Yogic Physical Culture Academy in Los Cabos, Mexico. Shalva serves on the faculty of the Jewish Mindfulness Center of Washington and the 6th & I Historic Synagogue in Washington, DC, leads musical prayer services for Bet Mishpachah in Washington, DC, and spends his summers as the camp rabbi of Tamarack Camps in Michigan. His writings have been published in the Washington Post, Elephant Journal, and Spirituality & Health magazine. Born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, he lives in Reston, Virginia, with his wife and their children. His new book is: Spiritual Cross-Training: Searching Through Silence, Stretch, and Song   In This Interview, Benjamin Shalva and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable His book, Spiritual Cross-Training: Searching through Silence, Stretch & Song How he has been searching all of his life That spiritual work produces nothing tangible That spiritual growth is slow yet real & discernable in our lives Spiritual connection & growth, like friendship, is built through time, energy & attention What "spiritual cross-training" is His spiritual experience with the 3 modalities of silence, stretch & song How sticking to just one spiritual practice, over time becomes hobby The importance of "diving deep" into your chosen 2-3 spiritual practices How to deal with ego & ambition when it shows up in your spiritual practice How inviting the ego voice in his head to join him in his spiritual practice has been a useful tool in his life How what you resist, persists That, in the spiritual journey "...when we've exhausted all other options, we always have one weapon left in our arsenal....laughter"  

Get more information on The One You Feed Coaching Program. Enrollment open until May 25th     The #2 Mistake Most People Make When Trying to Change Behavior: Dropping Old Behaviors Without Putting Something In Their Place Nature abhors a vacuum. Behaviors that have been done frequently enough that they have become habits are things that are now done mindlessly or effortlessly during our day. If at a certain time of day you do something and then all of the sudden you stop doing that thing, you are now left with a slice of time that was filled and is now empty. When faced with that empty space of time, it’s going to be really hard to resist doing the thing you’ve become habituated to do. So, put some other behavior in it’s place. In addition, a lot of our “negative” behavior patterns happen for a reason. There is something that they are doing for us (or did at one time). Removing them without some sort of substitute leaves a need unmet. For example, let’s say that everyday when you get home from work you have a snack. You’d like to stop having that snack because it’s close to dinner time and you don’t want the extra calories. Instead of coming home from work, sitting on the couch and doing nothing, resisting the urge to have something to eat, maybe you go for a 15 minute walk around your neighborhood instead.     Get more information on The One You Feed Coaching Program. Enrollment open until May 25th   The Tale of Two Wolves A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.  

      This week we talk to Robbie Vorhaus about following your heart Robbie Vorhaus is widely recognized as one of the top three reputation and crisis experts and advisors in the world. Robbie’s path is fascinating: On the outside, renowned crisis expert and communications strategist, Robbie Vorhaus’ life appeared ideal: a New York City Park Avenue apartment, a home in the Hamptons, two adoring children in world-class private schools, and a thriving PR agency representing world leaders, celebrities, sports stars, entrepreneurs and Fortune 500 companies. Privately, though, his life was falling apart. A marriage in trouble, jeopardized health, and financial pressures culminated on vacation when his family asked: “Dad, are you really happy?” Realizing he was in peril of losing everything he held dear, Robbie courageously followed the advice he had given clients for decades: Follow your heart. Choose to be happy. And consciously make everything better than you found it. The result: Vorhaus closed his agency, moved his family to their small Sag Harbor home, started a leadership and crisis consultancy, and began anew. Now transformed, healthy, happy, and celebrating a marriage of more than 25 years, Robbie drew on his life’s work and experience to write a column for his local newspaper, The Sag Harbor Express, outlining a step-by-step plan for following your heart and being happy, which, after going viral, became the basis for his next seven years writing. His book is called One Less. One More. – Follow Your Heart. Be Happy. Change Slowly. In This Interview, Robbie Vorhaus and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable The choice we face in every moment How if we feed our ego we are always alone, if we feed our heart we are always connected How you have to start now The math of One Less, One More Add one more good thing to your life each day and do one less thing negative thing Why we fail at major life transformation when we try to do too much at once The uniqueness of every human Doing less of what is no longer working for you Facing the fork in the road How there will always be resistance to our dreams. Committing to being our own person Following our heart The process of becoming How much choice do we have in our mood? The power of curiosity The power of small changes The crying Zen Monk If you think you are enlightened spend a weekend with your family Dealing with the perception of others How we tend to judge people by their worst moments Not allowing others to define us Do we want to be dust or ash? How wealth and fame do not necessarily bring happiness Committing to being our own person and being authentic For more notes visit our show page Learn more about the new coaching program. The window is open until 11:59 May 25th to sign up

  The #1 Mistake Most People Make When Trying to Change Behavior Starting Too Big The key to making lasting change is to break things down into really small steps. Most people want to start at point A and jump to Point Z but you don’t get there overnight. Break the new habit down into the smallest possible increments and be specific when planning each step along the way. In the beginning the most important part of behavior change is to be successful. This increases your motivation and makes you want to do more. If you start small it is much easier to “succeed” and build from there. For example, let’s say you want to take up a meditation practice. Instead of trying to meditate for 30 minutes a day, start with 3 minutes. Then once that becomes a daily habit increase it to 5 minutes, etc. As Leo Babuta of Zen Habits says “Make it so easy you can’t say no.” On one of our earlier episodes Dan Millman discussed the importance of “starting small and connecting the dots”. You will be amazed at what a series of small steps done consistently over a period of time will accomplish.     The Tale of Two Wolves A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.  

    This week we talk to Mary O'Malley about awakening to the world around us Mary O’Malley is an author, teacher, and counselor whose work awakens others to the joy of being fully alive.  Her inspired and transformative approach to compulsions offers a way to replace fear, hopelessness and struggle with ease, well-being and joy. Through her individual counseling and coaching, books, classes, retreats and ongoing groups, Mary invites people to experience the miracle of awakening. Acknowledged as a leader in the field of Awakening by many Mary clearly sees both the big picture and the details of human patterns and conditioning.  She possesses an extraordinary ability to understand and connect with people. And she is skilled in empowering people to work with difficult mind states resulting in greater inner awareness and presence and a greater capacity for joy.  Eckhart Tolle says, “Thank you, Mary, for your contribution to the evolution of human consciousness.” Her latest book is called What’s In the Way, Is the Way: A Practical Guide to Awakening. In This Interview, Mary O'Malley and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable The intertwining of good and bad, the yin and yang Dealing with eating problems How what we fight, we empower Creating a relationship with the dark side The impact of the early years of our lives The conditioned self How we are addicted to struggle Being present to life instead of thinking our way through life The "low-grade suffering" that permeates our lives The storyteller in our minds The Four Let's- Let Life, Let it Be, Let it Go, Learning to not listen so closely to the storyteller in our mind The difference between being here for life and being in a conversation about life For more show notes visit our website

  This week we talk to Dan Harris and Oren Sofer about mindful communication Our guests this week are Dan Harris and Oren Sofer.   Dan was a previous guest and we discussed his great book, 10% Happier. In addition, Dan is the current anchor on the weekend edition of Good Morning America as well as Nightline.   He has begun creating a series of courses based around 10% Happier. One of those courses features Oren Sofer.   Oren is a teacher and practitioner of Buddhist meditation, Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and Somatics. Oren is a specialist in the role of mindfulness in creating better conversation.   This conversation was recorded in Dan's office in the ABC Studios in New York.    Our Sponsor this Week is Casper Mattress Visit casper.com/feed and use the promo code “feed” to get $50 off!!   In This Interview, Oren Dan and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable Why mindfulness is useful in communication The 10% Happier app Learning to see confrontation as an opportunity to improve the relationship How our cultural conditioning teaches us the Win/Lose paradigm How we have a strong negative conditioning against confrontation that becomes hard-wired How mindfulness allows us to slow down and monitor our emotional reactions in conversation The role of curiosity in communication How to become more curious Learning to ask "What matters here" when listening to others Learning to say that we don't feel like talking instead of just pretending The minor discomfort of being real How to say things in a way that the other person can hear and understand Learning to hold our tongue in certain situations How being silent can lead to its own challenges The importance of timing in choosing when to address issues Context sensitive communication The two criteria of good communication: does the other person understand and does it lead to connection Dan Harris Links 10% Happier Homepage Twitter Facebook Oren Sofer Links Homepage  

    This week we talk to Colin Beavan about being happy AND changing the world Colin Beavan’s writing, speaking, consulting and activism have encouraged tens of thousands of people to examine their lives to discover what’s really important to them. He is among the world’s best-known spokespeople on environmental issues, consumerism and human quality of life. He was called “one of the ten most influential men” by MSN, an “eco-illuminator” by Elle Magazine, a “best green ambassador” by Treehugger.com, and his blog was selected as one of the top 15 environmental blogs by Time Magazine. Colin has appeared on The Colbert Report, Good Morning America, Nightline and countless other TV and radio shows. Colin’s latest book is How to Be Alive: A Guide to the Kind of Happiness that Helps the World In This Interview, Colin Beavan and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable The illusion that we are separate from this world How to give energy to what is true for you How to give less energy to what is not true for you His experience as "No Impact Man." The martyr, victim, scoundrel, and hero The four psychological needs we need to satisfy to be happy Intrinsic vs Extrinsic goals The stories we tell ourselves about the world and our lives Analogical Thinking The ukelele approach   For more show notes visit our website

    This week we talk to Steven C Hayes about getting out of our minds and into our lives Steven C Hayes is Nevada Foundation Professor at the Department of Psychology at the University of Nevada. He is an author of over 35 books and over 500 scientific articles. He is considered one of the founders of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. In 1992 he was listed by the Institute for Scientific Information as the 30th “highest impact” psychologist in the world. His work has been recognized by several awards including the Exemplary Contributions to Basic Behavioral Research and Its Applications from Division 25 of APA, the Impact of Science on Application award from the Society for the Advancement of Behavior Analysis, and the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies. He is best known for his book Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy   In This Interview, Steven C Hayes and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable His book, Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life That you know if your thoughts are good or bad by the fruits that they bear The ACT approach to therapy The difference between pain and suffering The importance of putting the human mind on a leash That suffering comes from when we mishandle the present moment, and we amplify certain thoughts and feelings The meaning of Cognitive Fusion: when we can look only from our thoughts and not at our thoughts The importance of and various types of contemplative practice Various diffusion techniques (listed in a free episode download!) The concept and practice of experiential avoidance The full impact of acting for "short term gains with long term pains" For more show notes visit us at our website  

    This week we talk to Aaron Anastasi about not listening to the voices that hold us back Aaron Anastasi is a Southern California native who graduated with a master’s degree from Princeton where he studied philosophy and psychology. He’s also a serial entrepreneur with online businesses such as Superior Songwriting Method, Signing Success, and the internationally recognized, Superior Singing Method, an online singing lesson program that grosses seven-figures annually. Having a love for adventure, he was a pro snowboarder in Vail, Colorado, scaled Glacier Lake mountains in Bolivia, and cut pathways through the jungles of Contagem, Brazil. Along with being a Los Angeles based actor and filmmaker, Aaron is also a prominent success coach for clients in industry-leading roles, ranging from film directors to marine biologists to TEDx speakers. His new book, The Voice of Your Dreams,was recently released. In This Interview, Aaron Anastasi and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable The limiting voices in our head The "You don't have what it takes" voice Instead of asking "Do I have what it takes" ask "Do I have the capacity to find the resources I need to be successful" The fixed vs growth mindset, again How the limiting voices often appear as reality How inspiration and passion often arise while we are in action Waiting on inspiration is a mistake and a misunderstanding of how it works The importance of just getting started- the hardest part is right before we start Breaking things down to very small chunks to help us get started Recovering from pessimism The old Hemmingway trick- Finishing while you still have one idea left For more show notes visit our website  

      A native of South Dakota, Robert Sessions earned a B.A. from Drake University and a Ph.D. in philosophy from the University of Michigan.  Before focusing on photography, for more than four decades he taught at Kirkwood Community College, Grinnell College, Luther College, and the University of Minnesota in Duluth. As a photographer he works frequently with his wife, travel writer Lori Erickson. Together they produce Spiritual Travels, a website describing holy sites around the world, and Holy Rover, a blog hosted by Patheos, the world’s largest website on religion and spirituality. His photos also appear regularly in publications that include the Cedar Rapids (Iowa) Gazette and Group Tour Magazine. He is a member of the Society of American Travel Writers. In addition, Sessions is the author of Becoming Real: Authenticity in an Age of Distractions and co-author of Working In America: A Humanities Reader.  He has also published several dozen articles on environmental philosophy, the philosophy of work, ethics, and the philosophy of technology. He lives in Iowa City, Iowa.   In This Interview, Robert Sessions and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable His new book, Becoming Real: Authenticity in an Age of Distractions That authenticity is something fundamental that is at the heart of what we are all seeking How authenticity is impacted by variables found on the inside as well as in the world surrounding a person The three main distractions that get in the way of authenticity That work is a major context within which we discover ourselves How bad habits surrounding technology can get in the way of being our authentic selves For more show notes visit our website  

    This week we talk to Rick Heller about secular meditation Rick Heller is the author of the new book, Secular Meditation: 32 Practices for Cultivating Inner Peace, Compassion, and Joy — A Guide from the Humanist Community at Harvard. Rick leads weekly meditations at the Humanist Community at Harvard. Rick received a master’s degree in journalism from Boston University. He also holds a master’s degree in public policy from Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government and a bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering from MIT In This Interview, Rick Heller and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable His new book, Secular Meditation: 32 practices for cultivating inner peace, compassion & Joy (A guide from the Humanist Community at Harvard) How in the brain, two negatives do not equal a positive What a "Humanist" is A secular view of meditation & mindfulness Other types of meditation other than breath focused meditation How there's no such thing as an inherently negative stimulus What face meditation is How the muscles in your face can affect your inner speech How to relate to emotions with mindfulness That recognizing an emotion actually brings it's feeling back toward neutral What "positive equanimity" is The difference between cognitive reappraisal and positive thinking Different approaches to help us achieve "mindfulness of life" When you're more "in your head" about something than you are collecting sensory information about something, you're really just dealing with abstractions Skepticism surrounding the concept of "no self" as a goal to pursue His working definition of enlightenment A secular version of the serenity prayer For more show notes visit our website

    This week we talk to Rebecca Newberger Goldstein about the relevance of philosophy in today's world Rebecca Newberger Goldstein is an American philosopher who is also a novelist and public intellectual. She is the author of ten books, many of which cross the divide between fiction and non-fiction. She holds a Ph.D. from Princeton. Her latest book is called Plato at the Googleplex: Why Philosophy Won't Go Away, an exploration of the historical roots and contemporary relevance of philosophy. In the book Plato is brought to life in the 21st century and demonstrates the relevance of philosophy by arguing with contemporary figures such as a software engineer at Google headquarters, a right-wing talk show host, an affective neuroscientist, and others. Goldstein is a MacArthur Fellow, has won the National Jewish Book Award, and numerous other honors. In September of 2015  she was awarded the National Humanities Medal by President Obama in a ceremony at the White House.   In This Interview, Rebecca Newberger Goldstein and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable Winning a National Humanities Medal and meeting President Obama Cultivating the positive emotions Her latest book Plato at the Googleplex: Why Philosophy Won't Go Away What Plato would say about the Parable of the Two Wolves Plato's Parable of Two Horses Why virtue is good for us The story of Socrates death The most famous sound bite in the last 2500 years   For more show notes and a free download of the best quotes from Plato at the Googleplex visit our website        

  This week we talk to Tara Mohr about playing big Tara Mohr is an expert on women’s leadership and well-being. She helps women play bigger in sharing their voices and bringing forward their ideas in work and in life. Tara is the author of Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead, named a best book of the year by Apple’s iBooks and now in paperback. In the book, she shares her pioneering model for making the journey from playing small–being held back by fear and self-doubt–to playing big, taking bold action to pursue what you see as your callings. Tara is the creator of the Playing Big leadership program for women, which now has more than 1,000 graduates from around the world, and creator of the global Playing Big Facilitators Training for coaches, therapists, leadership development professionals and other practitioners supporting women in their personal and professional growth. A Coaches Training Institute-certified coach with an MBA from Stanford University and an undergraduate degree in English literature from Yale, Tara takes a unique approach that blends inner work and practical skills training. Her work has been featured on national media from theNew York Times to Today Show to Harvard Business Review, and has captivated women from all walks of life including Maria Shriver, Jillian Michaels and Elizabeth Gilbert.  Our Sponsor this Week is Fracture Visit Fracture and use the promo code “wolf” to get 10% off!! In This Interview, Tara Mohr and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable The immense flexibility we have in who we become Feeding the good wolf in others The Inner Mentor and the Inner Critic The qualities of the Inner Critic Why you shouldn't argue with the Inner Critic How the Inner Critic also sounds like the voice of reason Finding our Inner Mentor Don't ask what you are ready for but instead ask what is life asking of me right now? Imposter Syndrome The Objection Rolodex Making "The Leap" The 6 criteria of the "The Leap" How to keep change going Giving up sugar  For more show notes visit our website

    Real change is possible but it takes time- Keep Trying!   JK Rowling was broke and depressed and her book had been rejected by 12 different publishers. This was right before Harry Potter was finally accepted and hit the big time.   It took me three different attempts to finally achieve sobriety.   Gone with the wind was rejected 38 times. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance was rejected 121 times   Edison famously tried 1000 different approaches before getting the light bulb right.   We often cite these examples as encouragement to keep trying at things like business or success. What if we applied the same principles and tenacity to our internal development? What if we kept trying at emotional and mental change?   We have to do this stuff over and over again, change takes time. There are no easy answers or shortcuts to a life worth living. Our sponsor this week is Fracture Visit Fracture and use the promo code “wolf” to get 10% off!!         The Tale of Two Wolves A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.  

    This week we talk to Dr. Gabor Mate´ about addiction Get a free download of Eric's key quotes and ideas from Dr. Mate's work.  A renowned speaker, and bestselling author, Dr. Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress and childhood development. For twelve years Dr. Maté worked in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside with patients challenged by hard-core drug addiction, mental illness and HIV, including at Vancouver’s Supervised Injection Site. As an author, Dr. Maté has written several bestselling books including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction; When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress; and Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder, and co-authored Hold on to Your Kids. His works have been published internationally in twenty languages. Dr. Maté is the co-founder of Compassion for Addiction, a new non-profit that focusses on addiction. He is also an advisor of Drugs over Dinner. Dr. Maté has received the Hubert Evans Prize for Literary Non-Fiction; an Honorary Degree (Law) from the University of Northern British Columbia; an Outstanding Alumnus Award from Simon Fraser University; and the 2012 Martin Luther King Humanitarian Award from Mothers Against Teen Violence. He is an adjunct professor in the Faculty of Criminology, Simon Fraser University.  Our Sponsor this Week is Fracture Visit Fracture and use the promo code “wolf” to get 10% off!!   In This Interview, Gabor Mate´ and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable The degree of choice we have in life What is the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts? What is addiction? The characteristics of addiction Recognizing what addicts get out of their addiction The fundamental question is not "Why the Addiction" but "Why the Pain" How all addiction comes out of some hurt or trauma The different types of trauma The role of neurotransmitters in addiction How drugs and alcohol destroy the parts of the brain that allow us to make sound decisions Whether or not genetics play a significant role in addiction Whether our culture breeds addiction How our children get most of their leadership from other children How the breakup of family, community and clan is contributing to addiction The critical role of the culture in our the development of our brains Recognizing our inherent value To what degree we have freedom over our choices Without consciousness, there is no freedom Paths to recovery How compassion can help with recovery Developing compassionate curiosity towards ourselves   Get a free download of Eric's key quotes and ideas from Dr. Mate's work.   

  Make Better Decisions using Solomon's Paradox King Solomon was said to be wiser than anyone in Egypt. What we don't hear, is that while Solomon was great at giving advice to others, he was notoriously bad at dealing with his own life issues, ultimately bringing ruin upon the kingdom. If look closely at ourselves, we’ll see that we all have this same flaw. This behavior is so common  it has been given a name — “The Solomon Paradox”. Igor Grossman's research that founds the basis for this mini episode.       Our sponsor this week is Fracture Visit Fracture and use the promo code “wolf” to get 10% off!!     The Tale of Two Wolves A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.  

      This week we talk to Barry Mangione about how there are no easy answers Barry Mangione is an author, musician, podcaster, life coach, and pediatric physical therapist. Barry was once a struggling alcoholic suffering from depression, failed relationships, and bankruptcy. He even came close to suicide, but he now enjoys a life filled with creativity, service to others, and abundant possibilities. In his Self-Help Rockstar Show podcast, he features music, interviews, and his own brand of self-help advice in order to raise self-awareness and to inspire people to go out and live their best lives every day. In his self-help book No Easy Answers: A Book of Life-Changing Questions, Barry shares his personal success story with readers so that they, too, can achieve personal transformation. Barry is also currently in the studio recording an album of rock songs to carry his message of hope and healing to music lovers everywhere. Barry lives in New York with his wife and their family, who are all firm believers in the paleo diet and lifestyle, for both physical and mental health.    Our Sponsor this Week is Casper Mattress Visit casper.com/feed and use the promo code “feed” to get $50 off!!   In This Interview, Barry Mangione and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable Simple practices to feed your good wolf Journaling as a practice Guilt doesn't help but accepting responsibility Learning to see our role in things Asking ourselves "Maybe it's me" The questions to ask ourselves when making a decision: How do I feel about myself now? How will I feel about myself after I've done this? How will I feel about myself if I don't do this? How will I feel in 10 days/10 months/10 Years Trying to avoid black and white thinking when making decisions How perspective is intellectual while gratitude is emotional The 2nd Arrow Responsibility without creativity is lifeless and boring Creativity without responsibility is dangerous and misleading Finding creativity again after getting sober Learning to do things sober as a challenge How would I talk to my best friend if he was in my shoes? Visit our show notes    

    This week we talk to Mark Nepo about the mysteries of life Mark Nepo is a poet, philosopher and cancer survivor who has taught in the fields of poetry, health, and spirituality for forty years. A New York Times #1 bestselling author, he has published numerous books and audio projects. Mark has appeared with Oprah Winfrey on her Super Soul Sunday program on OWN TV, and has also been interviewed by Robin Roberts on Good Morning America. His book The Book of Awakening is considered a modern spiritual classic. His latest book is called Inside the Miracle: Enduring Suffering, Approaching Wholeness Our Sponsor this Week is Spirituality and Health Magazine. Click here for your free trial issue and special offer.  In This Interview Mark Nepo and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Thinking of things as life affirming or life draining versus good and bad How none of us really understands the mystery of life How controlling and counting cuts off our access to the present moment Resisting inflating or deflating ourselves The real meaning of humility How only the heart can synthesize our experience The role and definition of paradox Substituting what is familiar for what is true The critical role of dialog and relation in a spiritual practice For more show notes visit our website          

    This week we talk to Mirabai Starr about grief and healing Mirabai Starr writes, speaks and leads retreats on the inter-spiritual teachings of the mystics. Known for her revolutionary translations of John of the Cross, Teresa of Avila, and Julian of Norwich, Mirabai renders mystical masterpieces accessible, beautiful, and relevant to a contemporary circle of seekers. Her commentaries on the interconnected wisdom of all traditions are lyrical and evocative. Mirabai builds bridges not only between religious traditions, but also between contemplative life and compassionate service, between cultivating an inner relationship with the Beloved and expressing that intimacy in community, between the transformational power of loss and longing for the sacred. Her latest book is called Caravan of No Despair  Our Sponsor this Week is MeetMindful Visit MeetMindful and get a free trial In This Interview, Mirabai Starr and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable Walking the landscape of loss in a genuine way Learning to be present even when things are really hard The death of her 14 year old daughter How sometimes spiritual teachings fail us and are of no use Realizing that we share our suffering with so many other people The Stages of Grief Returning to joy after great loss, it eventually happens How tragedy and trauma are not guarantees to transformation The states of mind that allow us to turn our pain into treasure Cultivating curiosity about our experiences, even when painful The Dark Night of the Soul The transforming power of love How vast we are as beings Telling the truth about grief The holiness of being broken open What mysticism is Mystical poetry The desire to experience union The four arms of yoga in Hinduism Approaching the divine in the way that is best for each of us What interspirituality is The difference between interspiritual and interfaith Mirabai Starr Links Homepage Twitter Facebook  

      This week we talk to Chris Grosso about Everything Mind Only the third repeat guest on the The One You Feed, Chris Grosso is a public speaker, writer, and author of Indie Spiritualist: A No Bullshit Exploration of Spirituality and Everything Mind: What I’ve Learned About Hard Knocks, Spiritual Awakening and the Mind-Blowing Truth of it All. He writes for ORIGIN Magazine, Huffington Post, and Mantra Yoga + Health Magazine, and has spoken and performed at Wanderlust Festival, Celebrate Your Life, Yoga Journal Conference, Sedona World Wisdom Days, Kripalu, and more. He is a member of the advisory board for Drugs over Dinner and hosts The Indie Spiritualist Podcast on The Mindpod Network.   Our Sponsor this Week is Wisdom Publications. Click here to explore their offerings   In This Interview Chris Grosso and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Welcoming Mara in How there is no end point in life His new book How spirit surrounds us in all aspects of life How spirituality includes the dark sides of ourselves Finding spirituality everywhere, including Megadeath and Motorhead The relative and absolute truth The journey from the head to the heart That there are different approaches to awakening Art as a path to spirituality Meditation versus mindfulness Everything Mind Discovering interdependence at a Motorhead show Positive concentration practices    

  The Second Arrow  “The Buddha once asked a student, “If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful?” The student replied, “It is."The Buddha then asked, "If the person is struck by a second arrow, is that even more painful?” The student replied again, “It is.” The Buddha then explained, “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.” Eric describes the parable of the Second Arrow and how it to makes things worse. Our Sponsor this Week is Spirituality and Health Magazine. Click here for your free trial issue and special offer.     The Tale of Two Wolves A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other.  One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed   The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable.  

    This week we talk to Rainn Wilson about the courage to be hopeful Rainn Wilson is best known for his Emmy-nominated role as Dwight Schrute on NBC’s The Office. Wilson also voiced the alien villain Gallaxhar in Monsters vs. Aliens (2009) and starred in the police procedural Backstrom Today he’s equally well-known for his millions of Twitter followers and the philosophy website he founded, SoulPancake, which creates media about life's big questions. and wrote a New York Times bestselling book of the same name. He just released a memoir called The Bassoon King: My Life in Art, Faith, and Idiocy.   Our Sponsor this Week is Spirituality and Health Magazine. Click here for your free trial issue and special offer.  In This Interview Rainn Wilson and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book The Bassoon King How spirituality got a bad name How spirituality is everything that we don't have in common with the monkeys How happiness is not an if then proposition The difference between happiness and joy The balance between ambition and acceptance How cynicism robs us of the gift of joy How much easier it is to be cynical than to be hopeful Bombing on Broadway How success doesn't mean the end of the difficulties of life The Baha'i faith How the Baha'i faith encourages equality between women and men Thomas Merton Reconciling a loving God with the terrible things that happen in the world

    This week we talk to Manoush Zomorodi about remaining human in a digital age This interview was recorded live in the WNYC studios in New York city, home of other popular podcasts like RadioLab, The New Yorker Radio Hour and Freakonomics. Manoush Zomorodi is the host and managing editor of Note to Self, “the tech show about being human,” from WNYC Studios. Every week on her podcast, Manoush searches for answers to life’s digital quandaries, through experiments and conversations with listeners and experts. Topics include information overload, digital clutter, sexting “scandals," and the eavesdropping capabilities of our gadgets. Manoush’s goal, as the New York Times wrote, is to “embrace the ridiculousness” of modern life, even when that means downloading dozens of apps to fight the feeling of digital overload.  She often speaks on creativity in the digital age, kids and technology, and non-fiction storytelling. Manoush has won numerous awards including 4 from the New York Press Club. In 2014, the Alliance for Women in Media named her Outstanding Host. Prior to New York Public Radio, Manoush reported and produced around the world for BBC News and Thomson Reuters. In 2012, she published Camera Ready, a guide to multimedia journalism. The Note to Self podcast is starting a new challenge called Infomagical to help cope with information overload.. You will hear more about during the episode. If you want to sign up to participate at go to  wnyc.org/infomagical. Challenge week starts February 1 and runs through February 5.  Our Sponsor this Week is MeetMindful Visit MeetMindful and get a free trial   In This Interview, Manoush and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable How the good and bad wolf help each other to find the middle ground Which "technology" wolf are you feeding? Keeping our humanity in a digital age Trying to understand the effects our technologies have on us Having to make too many small decisions all day long Information overload How the average American takes in over 12 hours of information per day The Note to Self Infomagical challenge The consumption to creation ratio Taking in too much information but not remembering or applying any of it How a theme is important for memory and learning The myth of multi-tasking How not being perfect is the point of being human The new digital literacy Information filter failure Asking "What's the Point" when consuming digital content Eric's Three Questions: What am I doing? Why am I doing? Is it what I should be doing? Pulsing- working in small bursts Getting everything out of your mind and written down somewhere and then prioritize it See more show notes on our website 

    This week we talk to Belinda Gore about The Enneagram This episode was recorded outdoors, live before an audience Belinda Gore is a psychologist, coach and experienced seminar leader who is skilled in supporting high-level learning and personal development.  She holds a Ph.D. in Counselor Education and Counseling Psychology, from The Ohio State University. Using the Enneagram system along with thirty years’ experience in facilitating change, she helps leaders identify their natural talents and deliver results by engaging the best in themselves and their organizations. She founded The Enneagram Institute of Central Ohio, is the former president of The Cuyamungue Institute, a non-profit organization with international membership, and is a founder and former managing partner of Wilbridge Consultation Center, a multidisciplinary group using a holistic approach in working with individuals and groups.  Our Sponsor this Week is Fracture Visit Fracture and use the promo code “wolf” to get 10% off!!   In This Interview, Belinda and I Discuss: The One You Feed parable Understanding our filters and patterns The Enneagram Choosing what to focus on The great Lou Dewein How we need nature in our life- echo philosophy What the Enneagram is The 9 Enneagram Personality Types   For more show notes visit our website  

  This week we talk to Toni Bernhard about not getting what we want Toni Bernhard was a law professor at the University of California—Davis when she became very ill. Since then she had dealt with, and helped teach the world about how to deal with chronic conditions. She is the author of How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and their Caregivers. Her second book is titled How to Wake Up: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Navigating Joy and Sorrow. Her latest book is How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness.    Our Sponsor this Week is Fracture Visit Fracture and use the promo code “wolf” to get 10% off!! In This Interview, Toni and I Discuss The One You Feed parable How we are forming our personality as we go The malleability of the mind Our inability to be nice ourselves How it feels good to be nice, kind and compassionate Her journey through illness Learning to handle not getting our way How hard dealing with chronic illness is How most of our suffering comes from our reaction to events, not the events themselves. Building a life within our limitations Dealing with things that are out of our control How pain and sorrow are inevitable but suffering is optional For more show notes please visit our website  

      This week we talk to John Lee Dumas John Lee Dumas is the Founder and Host of EntrepreneurOnFire, awarded 'Best of iTunes 2013'. John interviews today's most inspiring and successful Entrepreneurs 7-days a week and has been featured in Forbes, Fast Company, Success, INC, & TIME Magazine. John also founded the #1 Podcasting community in the world; Podcasters' Paradise; a community where over 1500 Podcasters learn how to create, grow, and monetize their podcast in a supportive environment.   He just completed the book The Freedom Journal. It is designed to help you create and complete a major goal in 100 days.  Our Sponsor this Week is Casper Matresses Visit casper.com/feed and use the promo code “feed” to get $50 off!!   In This Interview, John and I Discuss Accomplishing Your Goals The One You Feed parable Controlling our outlook  on life Being grateful for today The three things he does when he feels down The value of exercise and fresh air Surrounding ourselves with positive people The legacy of Scott Dinsmore John's time in the army For more show notes visit our website  

    This week we talk to Megan Feldman Bettencourt about forgiveness Megan Feldman Bettencourt is an award-winning writer and journalist. She has reported from many countries, and her journalism has appeared in publications including The San Francisco Chronicle, Psychology Today, Salon, The Daily Beast, Glamour, Newsday and many others. Megan is the author of the internationally-acclaimed book, TRIUMPH OF THE HEART: FORGIVENESS IN AN UNFORGIVING WORLD, which explores forgiveness through science, stories and memoir. She holds a master's degree from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism.  Our Sponsor this Week is Thrive Market!  Wholesome Products. Wholesale Prices. In This Interview, Megan and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die The story that got her interested in researching forgiveness Her definition of forgiveness- giving up resentment How forgiveness is not about enabling someone to avoid accountability How Forgiveness and justice are not mutually exclusive Forgiving because it benefits us The toxic effects of resentment on our body The process of learning to forgive Grieving and feeling the emotions are part of the forgiveness practice Engaging the part of the brain that is more able to become forgiving   For more show notes visit our website 

  Interested in behavior change? Please help us out by taking our short 3 question survey and receive a free guide: The 5 Biggest Behavior Change Mistakes     This week we talk to Kristin Neff about self compassion Kristin Neff is a self-compassion researcher, author, and Associate Professor at the University of Texas at Austin. She got her Ph.D. at the University of California at Berkeley in 1997 in the field of moral development. While doing her post-doctoral work she decided to conduct research on self-compassion – a central construct in Buddhist psychology and one that had not yet been examined empirically. In addition to her pioneering research into self-compassion, she has developed an 8-week program to teach self-compassion skills. The program, co-created with her colleague Chris Germer, affiliated with Harvard Medical School, is called Mindful Self-Compassion. Her book, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself was recently released in paperback. She and her family were recently featured in the documentary and book called The Horse Boy.  Our Sponsor this Week is Thrive Market!  Wholesome Products. Wholesale Prices. In This Interview, Kristin and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable The difference between self-esteem and self-compassion What self compassion is The research on self-compassion and its benefits How self-compassion increases motivation The more self-compassionate you are, the less afraid of failure you are How self-compassion reduces performance anxiety The three pillars of self-compassion Learning to soothe and comfort ourselves Remembering that all people struggle and suffer The damaging psychological effects of isolation Learning to turn towards our own pain in order to work with it How to practice self-compassion Learning to talk to ourselves like we would a friend For more show notes visit our website Interested in behavior change? Please help us out by taking our short 3 question survey and receive a free guide: The 5 Biggest Behavior Change Mistakes

Please help us out by taking our short 3 question survey and receive a free guide: The 5 Biggest Behavior Change Mistakes     This week we talk to Monk Yunrou about modern Taoism Taoist Monk Yunrou in as author, activist, and tai chi master, Yunrou (formerly known as Arthur Rosenfeld) has a lifelong relationship with Taoism. A 35-year master of Taoist arts, he was born in America and ordained a monk, by official leave, at the Pure Yang Temple in Guangzhou, China. Combining his overarching spiritual focus with a Yale literary education, the pursuit of natural history at the University of California and Cornell, he is an authority on the cultural, social, and spiritual dimensions of Eastern thinking for the Western world. Yunrou contributes to such publications as Vogue, Vanity Fair, and Parade, and has been profiled and cited in Newsweek, and other national magazines. His blog on The Huffington Post is frequently cited by other websites, including The Wall Street Journal, Fox Business News, and Reuters. He has appeared on national TV networks including Fox News, and interviewed on various podcasts and radio shows. From 2010 – 2013, Yunrou hosted the hit (56MM households tuned in) national public television show Longevity Tai Chi with Arthur Rosenfeld. His latest book is called Yin: A Love Story  Our Sponsor this Week is Thrive Market!  Wholesome Products. Wholesale Prices. In This Interview, Yunrou and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable The Tao Te Ching- Eric's favorite translation How the Tao that can be spoken is not the real Tao Seeing things in terms of binary opposites working harmoniously together. What Taoism is The differences between Taoist meditation and Buddhist meditation Tai Chi and the deep integration to Taoism The culture which the Tao Te Ching was written Some of Eric's favorite sections from the Tao Te Ching How there is no connection between money and happiness The lack of connection we have to the modern world History of Lao Tzu The concept of stewardship For more show notes visit our website   Please help us out by taking our short 3 question survey and receive a free guide: The 5 Biggest Behavior Change Mistakes

Please help us out by taking our short 3 question survey and receive a free guide: The 5 Biggest Behavior Change Mistakes     This week we talk to Guy Winch about emotional first aid Guy Winch, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist, keynote and TED speaker, and author whose books have been translated into twenty languages. His most recent book is Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts . The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way to Get Results, Improve Your Relationships and Enhance Self-Esteem  was published in January 2011. His TED Talk, Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid, has been viewed over 2.5 million times and is rated among the top 5 most inspiring talks on TED.com. Dr. Winch received his doctorate in clinical psychology from New York University in 1991 and completed a postdoctoral fellowship in family and couples therapy at NYU Medical Center. He has been working with individuals, couples and families in his private practice in Manhattan, since 1992. He is a member of the American Psychological Association. Dr. Winch also writes the popular Squeaky Wheel Blog on Psychology Today.com, and blogs for Huffington Post.  Our Sponsor this Week is Thrive Market!  Wholesome Products. Wholesale Prices. In This Interview, Guy Winch and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Emotional First Aid: What it is & how to apply it in your life How to triage small emotional wounds Building emotional resiliency That treating emotional wounds when they are small can prevent them from escalating into larger ones later How to treat the emotional wound of rejection How to improve low self esteem The dangers of rumination: stewing vs. doing What to do when caught in a place of rumination The difference between rumination and trying to figure something out Building self compassion The detective mindset vs. a harmful, self critical mindset The research Guy Winch is currently working on that's got him really excited   Please help us out by taking our short 3 question survey and receive a free guide: The 5 Biggest Behavior Change Mistakes

Please help us out by taking our short 3 question survey and receive a free guide: The 5 Biggest Behavior Change Mistakes   This week we talk to Loch Kelly about awake awareness Loch Kelly, MDiv, LCSW, is a teacher, consultant, and leader in the field of meditation and psychotherapy who was asked to teach by Mingyur Rinpoche and Adyashanti. The founder of the Open-Hearted Awareness Institute, he is an emerging voice in modernizing meditation, social engagement, and collaborating with neuroscientists to study how awareness training can enhance compassion and well-being. Our Sponsor this Week is Wisdom Publications. Click here to explore their offerings   In This Interview Loch Kelly and I Discuss... The 4 types of parable interpretations His new book The idea of awareness How to feel, know, be & live from our awareness The "pointing out instructions" can enable us to access our true nature at any time Glimpse practices that we can use to discover & experience our true nature The difference between a glimpse practice & a meditative state That the Tibetan word for meditation is literally translated as "familiarize" What "awake awareness" means How to experience the bliss & joy of thought-free awareness How to function as "continuous intuition" That our thoughts & feelings are not the center of who we are How to keep difficult emotions from overwhelming you What "local awareness" is   Please help us out by taking our short 3 question survey and receive a free guide: The 5 Biggest Behavior Change Mistakes  

Please help us out by taking our short 3 question survey and receive a free guide: The 5 Biggest Behavior Change Mistakes     This week we talk to Deborah Schoeberlein David about integrating mindfulness into daily life Deborah Schoeberlein David is a teacher, education consultant and curriculum developer. Deborah's most recent book is Living Mindfully: At Home, At Work and in the World . An earlier book, Mindful Teaching and Teaching Mindfulness: A Guide for Anyone Who Teaches Anything, is now in its fourth reprint and has been translated into Spanish and Korean. Deborah's other publications include multiple articles in professional journals and trade magazines; and online postings, including more than 60 blogs for the Huffington Post. Our Sponsor this Week is Spirituality and Health Magazine. Click here for your free trial issue and special offer.  In This Interview Deborah and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Her new book How the mind naturally wanders How mindfulness is not a panacea Bringing mindfulness into all aspects of our lives Exploring different styles of meditation The practice of adding in instead of adding on Integrating mindfulness into activites that we are already doing Focus, Observe, Refocus Learning to break our habitual reaction patterns Increasing the space between stimulus and response        Please help us out by taking our short 3 question survey and receive a free guide: The 5 Biggest Behavior Change Mistakes  

  This week we talk to Mark Manson about making sacrifices Mark Manson is an author and personal development consultant.  His writing is a different take on the self help genre. He calls it self help from a first-person perspective. He’s been published and quoted on CNN, Huffington Post, Business Insider, Yahoo! News, The Sydney Morning Herald and a variety of other publications. He is also the CEO and Founder of Infinity Squared Media LLC.   His blog is read over 2 million times a month.    Our Sponsor this Week is Athletic Greens Click here to get 50% off your first order!!    In This Interview Mark and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Being aware of what we think is important Opportunity Cost The fallacy of being able to do everything The sacrifice inherent in doing anything great The subtle art of not giving a F*!% The best friend test for relationships, its not what you think Mark's issue with The Secret The dangers of positive thinking How action can be the cause of motivation For more show notes visit our web page      

  This week Eric and Chris get interviewed It has been 100 episodes of The One You Feed and as a way to makr the occasion we asked our friend Greg from the Life on Purpose podcast to interview Chris and I together. We talk about why we started the show, what it's like making it and what we've learned from it. We also feature a song that each of us has written. Thanks to each and every one of you for listening to the show. You can hear the full version of Chris' song My Body Betrays Me here You can hear the full version of Eric's song Grass is Greener here Our Sponsor this Week is Spirituality and Health Magazine. Click here for your free trial issue and special offer.      

      This week we talk to Steve Almond about the good and bad in all of us Steve Almond spent seven years as a newspaper reporter in Texas and Florida before writing his first book, the story collection My Life in Heavy Metal. His books, Candyfreak, and Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life: A Book by and for the Fanatics Among Us were New York Times Bestsellers. His short fiction has been included in The Best American Short Stories and Pushcart Prize anthologies, and his collection, God Bless America, won the Paterson Prize for Fiction. Almond writes commentary and journalism regularly for The New York Times Magazine and The Boston Globe. A former sports reporter and play-by-play man, his latst book is called Against Football: One Fan's Reluctant Manifesto. He is also the co host of the popular Dear Sugar podcast that he co-hosts with Cheryl Strayed.    Our Sponsor this Week is Athletic Greens Click here to get 50% off your first order!!    In This Interview Steve and I Discuss... The beginnings of the Dear Sugar column Being funny and poignant at the same time What makes good writing How to make an advice column good The culture of treating everything like a joke or with irony Kurt Vonnegut Language, storytelling and humor as a way to fight of despair The declining American culture The One You Feed parable The two stories that we are constantly telling the world How the two wolves keep fighting all our lives The flattening out of character in American discourse How we all contain great and terrible qualities How our culture makes a god out of convenience For more show notes visit our website    

© Noel Cianci, 2012 [powerpress]   This week we talk to don Miguel Ruiz about the stories we tell ourselves Don Miguel Ruiz is a renowned spiritual teacher and internationally bestselling author. He has spent the past three decades guiding students to personal freedom through his profound insights regarding the nature of human reality. His forthcoming book is called THE TOLTEC ART OF LIFE AND DEATH: A Story of Self Discovery written with Barbara Emrys Combining Toltec mythology and scientific perspectives, don Miguel has been able to merge ancient wisdom with modern physics and practical common-sense, forging a new philosophy for seekers of truth and personal authenticity.  His landmark bestselling book, The Four Agreements, contains practical steps for long-term, personal transformation and has been read by millions around the world. First published in 1997, The Four Agreements has since sold over five million copies in the United States and seven million worldwide. It has been translated into 38 languages, appeared on the New York Times bestseller for over seven years, and was the 36th bestselling book of the decade. Don Miguel is also the author of The Mastery of Love, The Voice of Knowledge, and the New York Times bestseller, The Fifth Agreement, a collaboration with his son, don José Ruiz.  Each of his books are international bestsellers. Our Sponsor this Week is Spirituality and Health Magazine. Click here for your free trial issue and special offer.  In This Interview Miguel and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book That truth is life engergy, the force that moves matter How we don't need to believe in the truth, it just exists The fact that we are all artists and the greatest creation we have is the story of our lives His near death experience The fifth agreement We learn to love by how others love us - with conditions How we can start to love ourselves and others unconditionally The fact that we are not responsible for other people's minds or other people's actions How suffering is really in the mind and of the mind That if we change our attitude, everything will change The wonderful truth that you have control of your own life The lesson that has taken him the longest to learn Why he likes Popeye the Sailor Man don Miguel Ruiz Links   don Miguel Ruiz Homepage   don Miguel Ruiz Twitter   don Miguel Ruiz Facebook   don Migue Ruiz YouTube

    This week we talk to Mike Peters Mike Peters is a Welsh musician, best known as the lead singer of The Alarm. Between 2011 and 2013, Peters was the vocalist for Big Country as well as The Alarm. A two time cancer survivor he founded the Love Hope Strength Foundation. The Foundation has found close to 1000 potentially life saving bone marrow donor matches; built the first ever children’s cancer center in Tanzania; supported the Bhaktapur Cancer Center in Nepal with life saving equipment and registered over 60,000 donors through it’s ‘Get On the List’ program. Eric caught up with Mike in Akron on his tour supporting the 30th anniversary of the classic Strength album.          Our Sponsor this Week is Athletic Greens Click here to get 50% off your first order!!     In This Interview Mike and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Feeding the positive side of our personality Treating people the way we want to be treated Seeing both sides of the story Seeing The Clash and The Sex Pistols in 1977 Meeting Johnny Rotten and Joe Strummer Joe Strummer teaching Mike to be positive Creating an empowering message for the audience What the song Strength means to him 30 years later His 20 year battle with cancer The Love Hope Strength Foundation His approach to handling cancer The power of music Where he turns when he is struggling internally The meaning of the song Blaze of Glory  For more show notes visit our website

  This week we talk to Michael Taft about better mediation Michael W. Taft is an author, editor, meditation teacher, and neuroscience junkie. He is currently a meditation coach specializing in secular, science-based meditation training in corporate settings and one-on-one sessions. Michael is the author of several books, including  The Mindful Geek, and Nondualism: A Brief History of a Timeless Concept, Ego (which he co-authored), as well as the editor of such books as Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson and the upcoming The Science of Enlightenment by Shinzen Young. He has taught at Google and worked on curriculum development for SIYLI. Michael is also an official advisor to the Therapeutic Neuroscience Lab. He was previously editor-in-chief of Being Human, a site for exploring what evolution, neuroscience, biology, psychology, archeology, and technology can tell us about the human condition, and was editorial director of Sounds True.   Our Sponsor this Week is Spirituality and Health Magazine. Click here for your free trial issue and special offer.  In This Interview Michael and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable How it takes awareness to know what wolf we are feeding Learning to meditate on emotional states Defining meditation The difference between meditation and mindfulness Making the unconscious conscious The misconceptions of meditation How meditation does not mean having no thoughts The Teletubbies That meditation is not always supposed to be blissful How there are more ways to meditate than just following the breath His teacher Shinzen Young The pillars of concentration, acceptance and sensory clarity Meditation and the Flow state For more show notes visit our website  

    This week we talk to Casey Schwartz about the science of neuropsychoanalysis CASEY SCHWARTZ is a graduate of Brown University and has a Masters Degree in psychodynamic neuroscience from University College London. She has worked as a staff writer at Newsweek/The Daily Beast, where she covered neuroscience, psychology, and psychiatry. Her writing has also appeared in The New York Times and The New York Sun. She lives in New York City. Her first book is called In the Mind Fields: Exploring the New Science of Neuropsychoanalysis                  Our Sponsor this Week is Athletic Greens Click here to get 50% off your first order!!   In This Interview Casey and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable What neuropsychanalysis is Battling self doubt The importance of asking others for help The Don Draper approach to creativity Taking a "mind bath" The divide between neuroscience and psychoanalysis Freud's Boldest Idea: Transference Mapping transference in the brain The resurgence of the unconscious in current neuroscience research Avoiding the temptation to boil us down to chemicals Honoring the mystery of human life and behavior Reductionism vs holism in science The fantasy of the easy answer The oversimplification of the role of the amygdala The dangers of extrapolating animal studies to humans Psychoanalysis on patients who have had brain damage The uneven pathway of recovery Starving neural pathways that separate thought from feeling For more show notes visit our website  

  Amy Banks, M.D., has devoted her career to understanding the neurobiology of relationships. In addition to her work at the Jean Baker Miller Training Institute (JBMTI), she was an instructor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. She is the first person to bring relational-cultural theory together with neuroscience and is the foremost expert in the combined field. Amy is the creator of the C.A.R.E. Program, an easy to use, practical guide that helps clinicians and laypeople assess the quality of their relationships and strengthen their neural pathways for connection. Amy also has a private practice in Lexington, MA, that specializes in relational psychopharmacology and therapy for people who suffer from chronic disconnection. Most recently, Amy has joined the core group of Harville Hendrix’s Relationships First, a small group of prestigious scientists and cultural leaders who promote the idea that “healthy relationships are non-negotiable in a healthy society.” Her latest book is: Four Ways to Click: Rewire Your Brain for Stronger, More Rewarding Relationships  Our Sponsor this Week is Casper Matresses Visit casper.com/feed and use the promo code "feed" to get $50 off!! In This Interview Amy and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable How feeding neurons means stimulating them How culture can feed our bad wolf The power of isolation & how it can lead to more sickness How humans work best in healthy connection & interdependence with one another The importance of identifying and building healthy relationships The "5 good things" that exist in a healthy relationship How boundaries in relationships are overrated The 1 sign that you are at a 340% higher risk of premature death The 4 neural pathways that function in the relationship realm For more show notes visit our website