Help Me Be Me

By Sarah May B.

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 Dec 16, 2019


Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, author/podcaster/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. I think they'll work for you, too. For all the tools I offer, check out What I share is my personal opinion and not a diagnosis for treatment. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Music theme created by Previous intro music by

Episode Date
Ep 127: Dealing with Overwhelming Stress, Anxiety + Worry due to COVID-19
This is anyone struggling with anxiety and worry right now – maybe you’re having a hard time being quarantined, maybe you are now out of work, or maybe you’re getting overwhelmed by reading the news because of the various effects of coronavirus. Whatever it is, if you find yourself in a seemingly endless state of stress and you are dooming and glooming, this is an episode for you. This episode has 3 parts but it’s mostly tools. And heads up – I couldn’t get into the recording studio thanks to said virus, so this one has a lot of background noise. Apologies in advance!! For more of my work and to make a donation you can head to or visit me on Patreon. Thanks! xo - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high-quality ingredients. Go to or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!
Mar 24, 2020
Ep 126: Problems Oversharing in New Relationships
This is an episode all about oversharing when you start a new relationship – consciously or unconsciously, and when that negatively affects your life. So for example – if you end up disclosing everything bad that has happened to you on a first date (romantic or friend), and you end up feeling naked and awkward after the fact. Or you find that you end up oversharing as a way to get people to pay attention to you – but this leads to relationships that are less than positive, on the whole in your life. As with all my episodes there are 3 parts – the what, the why, and the how – the tools. For more of my work and to make a donation, head to ! xo - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. Go to or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!
Mar 10, 2020
Audience Q&A’s: Dealing with Rejection
In this episode, I am going to tackle a question from the audience (how to deal with rejection) and then go right into some tools! How to deal with rejection is a big one! It’s a muscle you have to intentionally grow. But quite literally it’s one of the most valuable muscles you can have because it means you move through life directly – with purpose, not guided by fear. It also means you grow exponentially. There are two pains in rejection: the loss of something imagined/the sadness of mourning. And second - the injury to ego. This second pain is the one that tends to fuck us up the most. Hopefully, I will offer you some tools for managing these pains and helping yourself move through rejection more quickly and positively, in the future! For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to or visit me on Patreon xo!
Mar 01, 2020
Ep 125: Base-Level Self: When You're Acting Like a Person You Hate
This is an episode all about when you are your base level self. When you are rude, hurtful, intentionally mean, aggressive or difficult with others. Or perhaps you are sad, clingy, manipulative and controlling. In other words, when you act in ways that make you feel really bad about yourself. These states of being usually come about when you are super overworked or stressed, or you’re sleep-deprived or hormonal¬– and you end up snapping at people you love. Regardless of the conditions that set it up, it’s a state of being that perpetuates more of itself via feelings of shame and self-blame. A vicious cycle! So included in this episode are tools to help you navigate out of that state and also retrain yourself if you habitually end up here. For more of my work, to make a request, or to make a donation, head to xo! - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. Go to or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!
Feb 12, 2020
Ep 124: Living From the Neck Up - When You’re Not as Happy as You “Should be”
This is an episode all about when we start living life from our routine of “should’s” versus stopping to ask ourselves whether or not we are happy. When we get into a machine mode, going through the motions – we are on an autopilot of sorts. We are only operating from the neck up. This is when our life’s decisions are based on what we think we should do based on whatever particular responsibilities we have during that time. Yes, the brain is what serves us most in terms of survival – but it can lead us into a state of emptiness and resent if we don’t stop to listen to our heart and gut, too! (If you’re a caregiver who is not as happy as you think you “should be” based on everything you have, this is an episode for you – too!) For more of my work, to make a request, or to make a donation, head to xo! - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. Go to or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!
Jan 29, 2020
Ep 123: Giving Up on Change + Feeling Stuck
This is an episode for anyone who feels like self-help and steps toward personal growth haven’t worked for them and they likely won’t. Maybe that’s because you feel alienated by most of the content out there, or maybe that’s because you feel like all the change you try to make does nothing: you just can’t win. Or maybe you feel like you haven’t made enough progress in your life in the areas that matter most to you: relationships, self-control, career success, happiness, confidence… etc. So you just feel stuck in a rut. Or maybe you just feel resentful toward all the people who seem to apply self-help easily to their lives. You might think….Self-help doesn’t work for me. I never can change, I don’t take the steps, I don’t read the books. I am royally fucked in my issues – I don’t see them going away anytime soon. Most people don’t resonate with me or “get” my issues. This is also for you if you are in a place where nothing seems to work for you – if you want to believe all the touchy-feely optimistic stuff but in the past it hasn’t worked for you. Maybe you are staring at your gratitude jar and saying “Why me? Why won’t things work out for me?” As with most of my episodes, there are three parts - the what the why and the how the tools. To read more of my work, see the products and services I offer, and to make a donation head to xo!
Jan 13, 2020
A Self-Awareness Reflection as You Start the New Year
This is a set of journal prompts for you to reflect on as you orient yourself for the year and reflect back on the years previous. This is what I have done and I got a lot out of it. I think you will, too. I like it because it draws on data while really bringing out more of what’s positive. It matters WHY you do something – because if you don’t really want to in your heart of hearts, it’s much harder to do it. These are reflections that allow you to set goals focused on what has made you the happiest. I hope you enjoy it and happy 2020! If you have any requests, comments or to make a donation, head to xo
Jan 05, 2020
Ep 122: Shame and Trauma: Unseen Bruises that Define Self
Shame and trauma cannot be separated – they are incredibly interwoven. The reason I created this episode is shame is virtually unavoidable if you’ve been through a trauma and often times the shame is even harder to process and heal from. Why? Shame is an unseen self-authoring wound. It creates a whole slew of behaviors because we are tasked with carrying it – and as you are aware, shame is toxic. In order for us to contain it we need a wide buffer: a padding between it and consciousness. However, the way we create this is often very damaging and shame-inducing. So it’s a domino effect. And so most people avoid it for many years – why? It is too painful for us to look at. It’s also painful for others – if it tells you anything it’s often also avoided by therapists, because of how much discomfort it causes. So this is really just an entry-level exploration of possible shame in your person. Inspired by my own recent enlightenments. They happen the tiniest bit at a time. I also have some reading for you on the topic: Book 1 (for mindfulness intro): Book 2 (for more about shame/trauma): reference for this piece: For comments, requests and to make a donation head to Yay.
Dec 23, 2019
Ep 121: Inner Dialogues: When Others Trigger Us + We Get Stuck in Our Heads
If you are one of those people who debates things in your mind endlessly, shuts down, isolates – this is for you. This is for you only if you find that this is causing you issues in your communication with others, difficulty in your relationships or perhaps you notice that its affecting your confidence. This might be especially relevant for anyone out there who is heading back home for the holidays – if you return to your family of origin, all sorts of old drama can come up. You become a very sensitive organ reacting to very old wounds. There’s a lot in here about triggering family members and how to negotiate that situation. Shout out to two listeners in particular! Hope this helps! Xox For more of my work and to make a donation head to xo!
Dec 11, 2019
Ep 120: Study Your Inner Scripts + Negative Self-Talk
By scripts I am talking self-judgment. Negative self-talk. The things we perceive inside our heads – that tell us how to act and dictate what we believe about ourselves. We all have things we believe about ourselves and how we are perceived. However, there’s something very different that is experienced by the outside world. This episode is calling attention to that gap and examining whether or not it’s working for or against you. Because you can change everything in your life by changing how you interpret it! If you want to check it out – this is the book that inspired this episode: For more of my work and to make a donation, head to xo!
Oct 26, 2019
Ep 119: Emotional Spending + self-soothing habits that hurt
This is an episode about the self-soothing habits that we have that do not help us. For some that is online shopping. For some that is eating. And for some that is getting likes or getting hit on. What these have in common is they don’t fulfill us or make us feel whole. They actually end up making us feel an ever-increasing void where it matters most: on the inside. For more of my writing, to ask a question, and to make a donation, head to or visit Xox! To check out an article with more info about shopping addiction, head here:
Oct 18, 2019
Ep 118: Being Treated Like Crap – What to do, how much to take
This is for anyone has a person in their life who is mistreating them. For example, let’s say you have an in-law who treats you like a punching bag, or your partner is hurting your feelings on a daily basis, or you have a volatile sibling who speaks to you terribly. It can be really disorienting, especially if you’ve been taking this for a really long time. Plus, with intimate relationships there’s often a trade-off that makes this even more complicated: if this relationship also provides you with rent, or your spouse doesn’t share your hurt perspective – you might feel guilty about having the feelings that you have. Caveat: this topic has some overlap with domestic violence but I am not addressing people who are victims of domestic violence. Why? Because in your situation, your physical safety is of primary concern and some of the tools I am offering might threaten that safety. For you I recommend you head to: or google your local domestic violence resource. And know that if you are in a relationship that you have been unable to leave – then know that it’s HARD but it’s not impossible. I’ve read that it takes an average of 7 to 8 times to leave – so whatever you do, don’t give up. As with all my episdes, there are three parts – the what, why and how the tools. To make a donation and for more of my work, head to xo!
Sep 17, 2019
Ep 117: Self-Care + Mental Maintenance: Building Your House Right
This was inspired by a friend of mine saying, “I’m not too many steps from a crazy person.” That really resonated with me – because it’s true. When life unravels, it’s really easy – and rapid – to get to a point of being completely leveled. Where we have no tools, where we are grasping, begging, underfoot, feeling desperate and worthless. Or crazy. Or like a mess, like life is a mess – like we fucked everything up. No one loves us, etc. So this is a preventative episode about “building your mental house right” – and you’ll hear more about that in the episode. I hope you enjoy! The book I talk about in this episode that I recommend if you are curious (but unsure) about therapy is here: As with all my episodes – take what helps and leave the rest. I am not a doctor or a professional of any kind. I am a regular person who wants to help. You know you best. If you liked this episode and you would like to make a donation to support this podcast, head to and click donate or visit xo!!
Aug 16, 2019
Ep: 116 Chronic Emptiness & Depression: The Body’s Way of Mourning Life
Hi friends!! Apologies for the lag in postings…I have had some super intense hours as of late. But it will lighten up very soon. This is an episode all about the deeper and perhaps more logical causes of depression and anxiety. It’s inspired by a book I just read – which is BRILLIANT. Link at the bottom of the notes. Here’s the gist: Depression and anxiety are both forms of disconnection. We are cut off from things we need as humans – they are basic needs that we don’t realize we have. Because we live in the bubble of culture! You don’t realize how much that culture affects your world view and your habits; the thoughts and feelings you about yourself. If you want to do an experiment to see how conditioned you are by the various facets of culture, I invite you to watch a movie from 10 years ago. We don’t realize the messages we are receiving all the time and the power of those messages. A lot of our cultural depression is a literal mourning of consistent life experiences that we are meant to have– things that are vital to our baseline as humans. These needs aren’t being properly recognized, addressed, and or processed. I think – because a lot of people don’t know how REAL and NECESSARY they are! Back in the day, life was kind of set up around these basic needs – we had smaller villages where everyone had a role, and you were close to your family. Community networks kind of sustained everyone in these really core human needs. The isolation that we now experience – paired with the focus on external possessions really keeps us all in a state of chasing. So if you are struggling with a sense of chronic emptiness and you cannot see a logical cause, this episode is for you. And more importantly – this book is for you – it’s called “Lost Connections.” For more of my work, to send comments, or make a donation, head to – and as with all my episodes – take what helps and leave the rest!! I am not a professional. I’m just a gal who wants to help. xox
Jul 20, 2019
Tools for Self-Regulation: Staying in the “Chill Zone”
Hi peeps, this is a way to make sure you’re keeping yourself functioning at an optimal level – and not getting stuck in a stressed/triggered state or a low/depressed state. It’s basically how to widen your capacity for resiliency via grounding yourself in moments you are getting out of whack. This one is based on a lengthy training I had and it’s meant to be done in person - one-on-one, so hopefully it translates somewhat! If you need more information about this one, please let me know and I’ll post a part 2. For more of my work or to make a donation, head to xo!
Jun 10, 2019
Ep 115: How to deal with people who trigger you
This is for anyone who get triggered around a family member or other person in their life, but you have decided that you want to continue to be around this person – despite this trigger. So really – these are management tools for tolerating these interactions. This is from a listener who has to endure some triggers around a family member. When this person is there, they feel drained and irritated – so these are some tools for a similar situation. This is a very difficult (and sadly, common) experience – the gist is how to manage the experience of being around a triggering person if you’re still working on your shit in therapy. As with all my episodes – three parts: What, why and how the tools. If you’d like to see more of my writing or make a donation, head to xo!
May 31, 2019
Self-Advocacy: Tips for Growth in the Workplace
Ways to represent your best self in work and in life. Tips for asking for a raise, evolving within your workplace and growing your confidence professionally. This is more geared toward individuals who work within a company versus being your own boss. For more of my work head to xo! Here's a good article on things to think about before having a raise/promotion conversation with a boss:
May 08, 2019
Ep 114: Painful Perfectionism
You might not realize that you are a perfectionist. You might just think you have a high bar and believe in excellence. A lot of perfectionists think that there’s nothing wrong about their high standards. And I would agree with them – unless you are robbing yourself of health, wellness, and happiness. By that I mean – are you unknowingly running yourself into the ground? OR are you possibly robbing yourself of enjoyment and balance in life? Perfectionism is like a helmet you wear through life because it alters your experience of everything: it alters how you feel, how you behave, and what you can appreciate. As with all my episodes – remember I am a regular person. No degrees or expertise. This is just my opinion, so take what helps and leave the rest! To make a donation and to see more of my work head to xo!
Apr 20, 2019
Managing Stress & Avoiding Burnout
This is a powerup for anyone who is burned out or about to be burned out – currently getting super overwhelmed by their schedule and they’re starting to freak out. A lot of the reason we start to freak out is we get stuck in a state of anticipation: we start to foreshadow negative consequences, imagining how bad something will be – we actively live suffering in our minds. What I want to remind you of is your actual physical moment is quite different. When you are stressed out and overwhelmed in this actual moment – it looks very different. If you want to make a donation or check out more of my work visit xo!
Apr 01, 2019
Ep 113: How to Stop Being a Controller
This is for anyone who is struggling with attempting to control others and/or obsessing about things in their own life, for example predicting future events and what they can do about them. The best part of this episode is def the tools! So if you're curious and also impatient, skip to part 3 - the tools. This is a request from a listener– it’s somewhat related to the self-sabotage podcast. The listener pointed out that when you are self-sabotaging you are attempting to control what will be – because the anxiety is too great. Once you know this is happening for you, how do you let go of the future and stop trying to control it? It’s a toughy, but I’m going to do my best! The audiobook I mention in this episode can be found here: For comments, to make a donation or to read more of my work, head to xo!
Mar 04, 2019
Ep 112: Dating Anxiety – How to deal when your brain stops working
This is for anyone out there who is dating and they are struggling with letting go of the people who don’t text you back. It’s also for anyone who is dating someone you think you really like – and because of the rarity of that, you’re freaking the fuck out because you don’t know what to say or do and you don’t want to misstep. So – it’s for the mind-boggling stage of dating where nothing makes sense and there seems to be no structure or logic and you feel like a crazy person with no power. And every decision is decided by the focus group that is your friend group. This one is for Ty (‘s friend). Hope this helps! As with all my podcasts take what helps and leave the rest. xo If you are in this demographic and you’re struggling I recommend reading these two books– (at least) the first 3 chapters of this: And this (but replace pronouns where appropriate): If the tone turns you off, I get it! But I would read it/listen to it regardless because it’s a good synthesis of very basic/clear information. To make a donation or to find more of my work, visit xox!
Feb 15, 2019
Ep 111: How to Tell if You’re Dating a Narcissist
Do you feel like you lost all power and autonomy in your new relationship? Are you always wrong, apologizing, groveling? Does it feel like you’re on drugs because of how intoxicating this person is? Do you obsess about them and yet you also kind of loathe dating them? Then you might be in a relationship with a narcissist. This is inspired by a listener and I thought it might be helpful to someone out there. And heads up - this is all information that is widely available out there on the interwebs so if you want to know more, give it a quick google – there are tons of resources. Here are a few books that I like if you want to dive deeper: Book 1: Book 2: And a book recommended by a listener (which I haven't read yet, but looks promising): To make request, see more of my work and to make a donation head to xo
Jan 27, 2019
Ep 110: Owning Your Power - A New Years Reflection Exercise
A reflection process for guiding your life versus your life living you. Happy New Year! I wanted to invite all of you to do a check in with yourself and your life – to see if you are happy, and specifically whether or not you are living it with the right “ratio.” Think of this like a screentime analysis of your life. I want you to grab your journal because we are going to reflect on specifics of what makes you the happiest. There are 3 parts. The first part is a journal reflection with 10 questions. The second part is an assignment to ensure you’re starting 2019 off on the inspired foot. The third part is a strength-building exercise for maintaining your best self. I hope you enjoy! If you’d like to check out more of my work or to make a donation, head to Xo!
Jan 10, 2019
Aud Q&A’s: How to Stick to a Breakup When You Feel Weak and Confused
This is a combo Q&A episode all about how to deal with the pain and courage needed to deal with a breakup. Four people had questions about leaving a relationship and struggling with that decision. The questions are as follows: >> How can especially sensitive people stand by their decision to leave a relationship and resist urges to go back and try harder?  >> What are some healthy ways to deal with intense nostalgia when it strikes and convinces you that you left a perfect relationship? >>Despite knowing this person is not right for me, my brain goes into survival mode and has this insane desperation to continue to reach out and repair. Also is hard to see red flags when you’re in it; hindsight is 20/20 >>Is it possible to stop loving someone when you don’t want to love them anymore? I already consciously decided to leave the relationship I’m currently in but the thought of actually initiating a break up literally sounds like the worst thing ever. The book I think will help that I mention during the episode can be found here: For more of my writing, to make a donation and to purchase The Break-Up Album, head to xo!
Dec 19, 2018
Audience Q&A's: How to Deal with Self-Doubt Around Applying for Jobs
In this episode I answer the audience question: Do you any tips on what to do about "social anxiety" around applying for a new job? I get overwhelmed every time I apply, feeling that I’m not enough and that I’ll hate the job when I get it… For helpful resources around this issue check out this book: And for skills around this issue, check out this book: For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to xo
Nov 30, 2018
Audience Q&A: Questioning Worth & Life Decisions
Hi friends, in this Q&A episode I answer just one question from a college student about how to accept yourself when you're not feeling confident in life. So if you're starting out in your adult life and you feel like a fraud, this is for you! If you want to check out more of my writing or to make a donation, head to and have a happy holiday xo!
Nov 20, 2018
Ep 109: Breaking Up with Ed - overcoming a binge-eating disorder
This is a biggie, and the subject is not simple - however, I am going to try and chip off a small piece of the iceberg that is the issue of disordered eating. Because disordered eating is rampant in today’s society! It’s like the more we focus on ourselves, the more we pick those selves apart, and the more disconnected from our bodies and what they need, we become. What I’m covering is how to begin the process of conquering a binge-eating disorder – whether that’s just binging or binging and purging. I think it will still apply to you if you suffer from any disordered eating but it’s a request from someone asking specifically about binging. If you are on the fence about whether or not this episode will apply to you – I’ll ask you this: Are you trapped in a cycle of obsession that occupies a majority of your time and worry? Are you constantly fixated on the scale? Do you find yourself constantly needing to exercise for fear you won’t burn enough calories today? Are you living your life – or is the routine of thinking and feeling and worrying, living you? If you feel like you have a fulltime job called monitoring-my-body, then I think you’ll get something out of this episode. A few links from the episode… A few books I would like to recommend if you do suffer from this issue: A doctor who works with (and has cured) people who suffer from diabetes:
Oct 31, 2018
Detaching From Ego & Connecting to Higher Self
This is a power-up episode just to invite you all to become familiar with the mind machine. The “computer” that helps us, keeps us driven and safe – but at times also hurts us – in that it reduces us to a base-level self. That self that feels small and wounded when we feel slighted, or mean and bitey when we feel judgmental. The goal of this is really just to become familiar with its tendencies so that you might you’re your choices despite it when it is not serving you. By "it" I mean your inner narrative. Because yes, you are a thinking being – but you are much more than your thoughts. Your thoughts are a thing that happens to you in you’re your body. You are the passive observer behind them. When we are overly identified with our thoughts – this can bring about a lot of pain. It’s much less painful when we can remind ourselves in the moment that it’s optional – and dis-indentify with the thinking in that moment. SO here’s what this power-up is. An explanation combined with a series of thought-exercises to do so you can get to know your ego as an entity separate from yourself.
Oct 24, 2018
Ep 108: Ghosting – Why’d it happen & what to do if it happens to you
This is for the person who got ghosted, not the person who ghosts. Contrary to how it feels, a lot of thought can go into ghosting. It could be something that someone debates and replays in their mind for weeks on end. The decision to ghost comes from a very specific place. It’s not “I don’t care at all” it’s more, “I don’t know what to say…” As in all my episodes, there are three parts – the what, why and how – the tools. This one’s for Bryan! For more of my work including the blog versions of my podcasts, head to To make a donation you can visit or find me on
Oct 03, 2018
Ep 107: Kicking a Toxic Love - Relationship Withdrawals
This is for anyone who’s in the throws of getting over a really toxic and yet, addictive relationship. I would otherwise call it the rock bottom part of your relationship loop. Maybe you’ve known this was not a good relationship for you for a very long time but you were always too terrified to leave it. Yet now that you’re mid-escape, you feel crippled by the intense pain that’s been brought on by it. If that sounds like you – first of all I want to say – get to a therapist’s office, stat. This can be a really scary thing to go through without support. Now of all times, it can be really helpful to even try meds to take the edge off. If you feel like you can’t handle your sich – dial 9-11. That’s the simplest tool. And second, know that this will not be forever – even though that’s what your feelings tell you, right now. It’s just gonna suck for a little while. You’re in the thick of it, right now. The only way to move is up. Here are some tools to help you start heading there. The book (The Five Second Rule) I mentioned in this episode can be found here: For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to xo!
Sep 12, 2018
21 Days of Happiness Challenge
Hi peeps! This is an oldy but a goody. I posted this on my blog like 6 years ago but since someone requested, I thought I would throw it out again and also do the challenge myself. This is appropriated from a TedTalk by Shawn Achor - if you want to hear more about it you can watch that here: For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to Join me - this is my Day 1! xoxoxo!
Aug 29, 2018
The Self-Care Tools I Use the Most(Currently)
Hi friends, this is a special power-up episode – it’s basically a list of my favorite and most frequently used tools as of late. I’m just going go through them in list format. If you’re in need of some tools for happiness, compassion, self-awareness, confidence, and energy-tuning – this is an episode for you. For anyone interested, here are the books and authors I mentioned: A book where you can find more of John Gottman’s principles: A book about Loving What Is: A book for fun and joy-tuning by Pam Grout: If you want to check out more of my work and to make a donation, head to xo!
Aug 15, 2018
Ep 106: Fear of Intimacy + Commitment
In this episode I talk about why people are afraid of intimacy and commitment – and I do it for both sides of the relationship: the fearers and the chasers. So this is for anyone who was in a happy in a relationship and then their partner started distancing as soon as things got close. It’s ALSO for anyone who can’t seem to stay in a committed relationship and you don’t know why you find yourself bailing as soon as someone starts to like you. This is something I see often in my One-on-One’s and I thought it warranted a podcast episode. And because I am directing this at two audiences, I jump back and forth between who I am identifying with. So sorry in advance if that gets annoying. I don’t want one side to feel left out. As per usual there are three parts: the what, why and how the tools. To make a donation and see more of my writing head to My references and your recommended reading: For Huskies: Mindsight The Self-Sabotage Cycle For Cubs: Attached Men Who Can’t Love
Jul 29, 2018
Audience Q&A’s: Partner With Boundary Issues + Unrequited Love
Hi friends, today I answer two questions – the first is about dealing with a partner who has boundary issues with a person who is infatuated with them. The second is about dealing with unrequited love – basically, how to confront saying goodbye to someone if you’re friends and in love with them. If you’d like to ask a question or to make a donation, head to xo!
Jul 04, 2018
Ep 105: Inner Unworthiness + Self-Judgment
This is for anyone who feels not good enough, like a failure. Maybe you feel like you wasted your life, money, time, heart, career, 20’s, 30’s, fill in the blank. This feeling of not knowing who you are – not knowing why you’re behind everyone else, why you can’t seem to build a life that makes you happy – and it comes with an itchy state of discomfort with self. A constant narrative of self-judgment – the voice that isolates you and makes you feel worthless and like you need to escape social situations or at the very least have something expensive or exotic to talk about otherwise everyone will see what a loser you are. Maybe you’re one of those people who feels like their skin is crawling when they’re around happy and beautiful people: you look at other people and think – they’re so much skinnier, smarter, funnier, happier or ____than I am. Whatever the voice in your head says, this one's for you if you're hating on yourself and your life path. For more of my work and to make a donation head to ! xo References:
Jun 09, 2018
Audience Q&A’s: What to do - BF cheating on Grindr + Ghosted after job loss
Today I answer two audience questions: the first from a guy who caught his BF sexting on Grindr, and he doesn’t know how to move forward. The second, a girl who got ghosted by her love of her life right after semi-losing her job – now she’s overwhelmed and panicking about life and where to go from here. Hang in there guys - I hope this helps and the book I mention for Fred is linked below: For more of my writing and to make a donation head to
May 22, 2018
Ep 104: Messy Loss: How to approach the death of someone you've had lots of conflict with
This is all about how to deal with the loss of a person who has been very difficult in your life: the pros and cons of getting “closure” and if that’s right for you. Hi friends, today I am talking with one of my besties, Leila, about loss and impending loss – and basically, how to prepare yourself mentally for the loss of someone you have a lot of mixed feelings about. I am going to loosely structure this in 3 parts – since it’s more of a conversation. So in short, a relationship you have protected yourself from – because it’s toxic, and now you have to deal with the fact that you are losing this person – and that brings up all the unfinished shit from growing up. Hope it helps!! If you have any questions, or to make a donation, you can find me at xo!
May 04, 2018
Curbing Smartphone Addiction & FOMO
Hi peeps! This is a “Digital Diet Challenge” all about creating mental space for yourself and checking any harmful habits you might have around smartphones and social media. I challenge everyone to take a stab at this. I want to preface this by saying this isn’t about removing smartphones and social media – it’s just about becoming aware of how you are feeling in reaction to it. I hope this helps! For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to xo! The study I mentioned is here: A podcast about this topic is here:
Apr 25, 2018
Ep 103: How to Keep Your Balance During Times of Life Chaos and Hardship
This is for anyone who’s going through a stage in life when they are necessarily dealing with a shit-storm of really difficult responsibilities. Like life has demanded you put yourself on “managing mode” and you have to take care of others for an extended period of time. Or maybe you can’t attend to your normal self-care routine and haven’t been able to for a while, and you’re barely just dealing with the day to day – as of now. This is really for you to listen to, to remember yourself and remember where you are and feel your own hands and feet and feel okay. And more importantly – ways to take a breather and check in with yourself, in the hopes of bringing a tiny bit more balance back into the equation. This one was a request from a listener from a while back - hope it helps! For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to or visit me on xo!
Apr 12, 2018
Audience Q&A: How to Build Positive Friendships
Hi friends! This one’s about building healthy friendships and relationships and how do you know if a relationship is healthy or toxic. This one’s for Heather! This is a great topic, it’s something I had to think long and hard about at one point in my life so I made you all a list of what to look for. For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to xo Sarah May B.
Mar 25, 2018
Audience Q&A: Painful Infatuation, Feeling Empty & Lost, Needing Instant Friends
In this episode I answer three different audience questions. The first, how to stop obsessing about a person after a single date – and the other person doesn’t want you back. Second, how to deal with feeling empty and lost – like the shell of a person. Third, how to stop forcing instant closeness with new friends – including oversharing. This one’s for: “Hijacked with infatuation,” “Lost” and “Instant Besty.” The links I mention in this episode include: The book The Depression Cure: The fish oil I take in DHA: and EPA: The Lily Pad podcast episode: And to make a donation or read the blog version of this podcast, head to xo! Sarah May B.
Mar 03, 2018
Ep 102: Why Won't He Sleep With Me? When Relationships Become Sexless
This is a request I got from a couple of female listeners, and I address their issue directly – so heads up, this is based on hetero relationships between a guy and a girl and the guy is the one who doesn’t want to have sex. That said, I believe you can translate this to your partnership based on the traits you share with the examples I will discuss. If you want to know more about something I do not address, reach out with an email and I’ll tack it onto the next episode ( Most importantly, know that this is not intended to be reductive to anyone or their lifestyle – it’s meant to be helpful. Also, there’s not a whole lot of reading on this subject that I could find, so if you have some recommendations, please also reach out and lmk! I will announce up front that this deals with gender roles and therefore it’s going to generalize. I know that in my reading I found myself getting angry at several valid ideas. I am not trying to make anyone feel worse, OR tell you what is “right” “correct” or “normal” for a man and woman to be, obvi – so if you feel offended by things that reinforce gender roles, take what helps and leave the rest! End of disclaimer! If you want to make a donation or to read the blog versions of this podcast, head to or visit me on – thanks! xo
Feb 16, 2018
Look Forward to the New Year – A Journal Reflection Exercise
Listen to this one with your journal in-hand! This is similar to the one I gave last year, but it’s basically a super fun journal exercise to help you focus your attention on what you love and want more of in the new year, moving forward. And yes – it’s intentionally not something I posted new years day! Hope you enjoy it! If you want more of my writing or to make a donation, head to
Jan 26, 2018
Ep 101: How to Find Your Passion & Choose a Career Path
In honor of the new year, this is all about finding your passion – facing feelings of anxiety and anticipation about the future and also what factors to consider when choosing a career path. This one is for Seema and Aja. Thanks for the topic suggestion! “The Passion Test” book I mentioned is here: The slashies episode I mentioned is here: The Freakonomics episode I mentioned is here: For more of my writing and to make a donation head to
Jan 10, 2018
Audience Q&A's: How to Trust Your Gut + Stop Focusing on Expectations of Others
Hi friends, in this episode I answer two questions. One: "How do you trust your gut if you struggle with anxiety and perfectionistic overthinking - if your thinking gets you into messes all the time? Should you believe what other people say about you - even if you don't agree with them?" Two: "How do you stop focusing on the expectations of others, while in a relationship? I find that I neglect my needs and often focus on what I think I should do to make another person happy." For more of my work and to make a donation visit The Melodie Beattie book I mention in this episode is here: The podcast I mentioned is here:
Dec 17, 2017
Ep 100: How to Deal with Getting an STD
This is for anyone who is coping with the aftermath of finding out they have an STD and what that means for you as an individual. There are some great articles on this topic – some from people who seem to be super successfully living with STD’s. I will link to those in the blog version of this post, all of which live on – along with The Break-Up Album – a breakup coach in a podcast album. There are some tools about how to have that conversation with a potential partner. How to still believe you have a chance at finding your happy with a partner. I wanted to also cover the side of this topic that has to do with your personal feelings about yourself. Because I think that’s one of the hardest parts. How we change this moment into a major meaningful milestone that somehow redefines who we are. This one is for a listener. Thank you for request! It’s a great one. With that there are 3 parts: the what, why and how – the tools! References:
Dec 03, 2017
Audience Q&A's: How to Deal with the Pain of Future Loss + Repeatedly Being Broken Up With
This is an episode answering two questions – the first: how do you deal with real fears and awareness of imminent pain, for example – the pain of a future loss of a loved one, or the fear over the current situation in the world. The second question: how do you deal with the pain of wanting someone who has broken up with you multiple times. Is it okay to go on Tinder and hookup with other people – just to help get over them? For more of my writing, to make a donation and to purchase The Break-Up Album, head to xo Sarah May B.
Nov 18, 2017
Ep 99: Constructive Criticism: How to Grow a Thicker Skin as a Creative Person
How to take constructive criticism well, specifically, when it comes to creative endeavors. That means hearing it, taking it in and doing something with it, without it triggering you emotionally – which can change what the criticism means to you. Like when you feel you should defend yourself, or you automatically feel like a failure, or your desire to please the person outweighs the creative truth. So if you are a creative of any kind and you have a hard time hearing constructive criticism this one’s for you! This is a topic request and heads up it has some baby ambient noise as it’s recorded from my maternity leave. This one’s for Catherine. Thank you for the request and your generous donation. It’s truly how I am able to do this work. People like you. xo For more of my work or to make a donation you can visit
Oct 27, 2017
Unsure About Having Kids: Help Making Big Life Decisions
This is a power-up for ambivalence about a big life decision – like leaving a relationship, trying a new career or having a baby! This is a power-up episode structured like a conversation between you and me. This is about how to decide whether or not to have a baby, but I also think it could apply to any issue. So if you’re on the fence about kids and you’re running out of time – this is for you. And I know that this is a polarizing topic – so if you listen to this, know that it’s a personal opinion, not a "should" – and i do not believe my opinion is better than others. So don’t take offense to anything I say and if it doesn’t feel right for you, leave it. It has the potential to bring up some weird feelings in some people – especially if you have issues with childhood and parents – so that is my big fat caveat. Heads up - this topically leans more toward women! For more of my writing or to make a donation, check out xo!
Oct 11, 2017
My Life Hurts: When A Problem is Really, Really Bad
This is about when life becomes unmanageable – for example there’s a condition that threatens your sanity and it gets to the point that you are in serious discomfort. This is when you are feeling hopeless and overwhelmed and in a state of action-paralysis. When you don’t know how to help yourself, you are in a state of fretting. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to think past how bad things are. So if you are in that state – feeling dread and hopelessness, this is for you. Hopefully the short increment will allow it to be applicable to you in those moments – so first things first. I want you to grab a paper and a pen. From this moment right now, you cannot see the solution but no matter how bad things are or have been for a long time – something that will help – exists. Part of the paralysis is believing in the sense of hopelessness because when actions don’t impact your outcome repeatedly, we learn to believe it. We believe it’s hopeless until it’s not. The trick is to take the pain ONE notch down from what you’re in now. When it comes to really dire, hopeless situations – chronic ones, you need dramatic big change. More than a simple tweak. More than a podcast. You need a big leap. You can’t do this all on your own – you need to involve reinforcements. Today’s podcast is dedicated to Catherine. Catherine your donation has literally changed my life – I hope I am able to repay you in some small way. For more of my work or to make a donation, visit xo Sarah May B.
Sep 29, 2017
Healing a Possibly Scarring Experience Into a Resilience Booster
A shorthand version of changing a trauma or hurt from a scar into a medal. I’ve covered this in other episodes but I thought it would be helpful in this format - it's condensed for in-the-moment application. I used these steps myself recently and it works! So this is if anyone has had something really traumatic happen to them that hurts them and you can tell it’s one of those sore spots that makes you cry really hard. I want you to practice these steps around that experience as soon as it has happened. It will likely have to do with your powerlessness in the face of something excruciating – and your inability to change that. For more of my work including the blog version of this podcast, head to To donate head to
Sep 12, 2017
Ep 98: Resilience for Codependents and Those Experiencing Adult Hardships
When we don’t feel safe, we tend to panic. Especially if you lack the innate knowledge that you will be okay. So when external events happen that take our sense of safety away – it can lead you into a state of intense suffering that then deepens into a state of hopelessness. This is when external hardship is really damaging. However – you can foster an innate sense of resilience – by practicing steps and thoughts despite yourself. So if you are in that state, of if you want to preempt it – here are some steps for you to take. If you want to read more of my writing, to make a donation, and for more helpful resources, check out
Aug 31, 2017
Ep 97: Improv Therapy- Being Awesomely Yourself w/ Billy Merritt of Upright Citizens Brigade Theater
Today I have to honor of speaking with Billy Merritt, actor, writer, improviser– and one of the founding fathers of The Swarm at The Upright Citizens Brigade, an improv comedy theater and school, well known in LA and NY. Today we are going to talk about lots of things – but in particular, how the tools of improv can help you be more present and comfortable in your own skin on and off the stage. For more about Billy, check out The Smokes - Monday at UCB Franklin in Los Angeles or The Swarm, the first Saturday of every month at UCB Sunset, or find him on Twitter @BillyMerritt Heads up! We got cut off during our first recording session so you'll hear the sound change as we pick back up about half way through. Sorry if we repeat a few things - but I think you'll enjoy nonetheless! To work with me or to find more of my writing and podcasts, check out
Aug 06, 2017
Audience Q&A's: What To Do if You’re Stuck and Passionless, Stuck and Hopeless, Stuck and Friendless
Hi friends, in this episode I answer 3 questions: what to do if you’re stuck and you can’t figure out what you’re passionate about. What to do when you are stuck in a pit of hopelessness and despair and you feel ashamed and can’t seem to get a break. What to do if you are stuck, depressed and you really don’t have any good friendships. I hope this gives you some relief! I know a lot of these issues are really big, chronic ones and the solutions will not be quick and easy – but if this was your question, I want to say whatever you do – don’t stop trying. I believe eventually you fill find your cocktail solution. It just takes persistence and a teaspoon of luck, which can be arrived at via trial and error. Xo Sarah May B. For more of my writing, my one-on-one plans, my books and other resources check out
Jul 28, 2017
The Self-Work Vortex: Why Am I Still Unhappy?
It’s hard to be yourself – it takes work. There’s a lot of emotional and thought clutter that gets in the way – especially when you are so wholeheartedly pursuing your best self! This is for anyone who’s been working on themselves and feeling like they’re not happy, not where they want to be, and stuck. Simple shifts in perspective and brain vs body balance can be the difference between lightness and darkness: like changing the channel in your brain when viewing your life. For more of my podcasts and blogs check out xo!
Jul 11, 2017
Audience Q&A’s: Obsessed About Ex Moving On Soul-Mates + When to Start Dating Again
In this episode I answer 3 audience questions: What do you do if you can’t stop focusing on your ex and whether or not they’re with someone new? Do we have multiple soul-mates and how do I know if I should fight for my ex? When can I start dating again if I went through a breakup 4 months ago? Got a question? LMK! If you are interested in learning more about mindfulness based therapies check out this book: And if you want more research about how to be happier, check out this book: And here’s a link to some helpful ways to stop obsessive thoughts: And for more of my work including the blog version of my podcast, check out
Jun 24, 2017
Ep 96: Sibling Rivalry – Why We Can’t Stop Fighting, Blaming & Resenting
This is for anyone who has a super tumultuous relationship with a sibling, one that that defies all logic. It’s to give you context for a lot of common sibling issues and also some tools for clarity and staying firmly balanced on the ground. Just a heads up, I am talking mostly about adult sibling rivalry – though you might gain something from this if you’re listening because of your kids. I will touch on how these conflicts are formed early on in life. For more of my writing head to and for my references for this episode check out:
Jun 07, 2017
Brain Clutter: Creating Mental and Spiritual Space for Yourself
A practice of getting closer to your original self. Analysis, ambivalence, endless "stuff." Checking, pursuing, not knowing if any of it is right. When will I finally be happy? When I finish this thing? But then there’s that other thing I have to do. Hi friends! This power-up is a set of tools all about trimming out the mental work we create for ourselves and getting closer to your playful, original self. That mental work that seems to go in circles. In favor of something deeper and possibly more rewarding. For more personal play and exploration - here are a few books I enjoyed. xo Jung on dream analysis Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu Bodhisattva mind
May 29, 2017
Ep 95: Forgiveness: How to let go of hurt and anger, and why to do it at all
Forgiveness is a monumental practice because it really guides a lot of what you believe in your life -about the world, love, relationships and also yourself. I’ve said this before but truly the reason to forgive is for you: because it’s kind of like being stabbed and then keeping that knife in your body. Forgiveness is something only you can decide you are ready to do, but it’s also something only appropriate in certain situations. It comes from a pure and genuine goal created for the right reasons, with all the practical information at hand. For example, you might want to forgive your ex for breaking your heart, but you can’t force that until you are ready to accept and move on. Another example of a situation that might be best left for processing but not forgiveness – is chronic abuse. This is a situation when we are likely to blame ourselves – so it’s really vital to lean into anger and claim that blame. When it comes to other deep wounds, when we prematurely choose to forgive it’s often because some part of us wants to skip over the pain of confrontation – looking at how bad we really hurt. When we want to forgive because the emotions associated with a certain event bring us BELOW the level of who we know we are, that is a mature and profound decision – one made from your highest self. This is something we all get to choose: basically, to align ourselves with who we know we are. What I want to do with this episode is really pose that invitation in a way that might get you closer to the reality of processing or forgiving – or knowing where you need to place a hurt from your past. References: Triumph of Heart The science of forgiveness Haven’t read this myself but this is by the guy who heads up the Stanford Forgiveness Project which does a lot of good research.
May 09, 2017
Ep 93: Relationship Fight Loops and Distance: Why We Lose Access to Intimacy
Contrary to popular belief, fights are not better talked out to the bitter end and happiness and intimacy are not the result of more loving couples. It really comes down to how you manage these perpetual fights. I want to give you the main reasons people end separating or remain happy and together - based a couple different disciplines of research. Because a lot of what is the most damaging, isn’t obvious or calculated by a person. It’s totally accidental. When we have the same arguments and we start to get distant, it’s often because we don’t want to fight and we have a sense of dread around a repeated loop, so the distance is like a no-war zone between two foreign cultures. And the SHITTY news is when you get distant, your relationship is actually in the most trouble – because both parties are no longer demonstrating an investment in the bond. This is when you stop identifying as a couple and you start thinking in terms of me, the individual. And with that solo identity you start to focus on goals as an individual and not as a couple. Your focus redefines your past together as crappy – you see things from a personal interest standpoint. So if you guys are feeling distant and resentful, this is an episode for you! Caveat: I want to stress that this is NOT for people with abusive partners. Domestic violence is not something that I recommend using these tools for – if you’re in an abusive relationship, my heart goes out to you. If you like this episode, check the Gottman Institute for more! A lot of this is from his work. For more of my writing and the blog version of this post, check out (the blogs will be posted a bit later than the podcasts). Book references: Couples counselor questionnaire: How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It John Gottman’s most popular book: The Gottman Institute – all their good, short articles. A book by the creator of Imago: What to look for in a couples counselor:
Apr 19, 2017
Preventative PMS: How to protect those you love and balance your bod
This is for those who suffer gnar PMS. I know girls who don’t go out when they’re PMS-ing because of how dangerous it is for others. It can be confusing and rob you of yourself! I hope to give you some background info about how to prep for PMS– basically all the info I could find on the internet. If you’re a severe sufferer you likely know all this stuff, but hopefully something good or at least guilt-relieving will come out of this. Disclaimer: This is my personal opinion on some preventative PMS - for the love of GOD, consult your doctor before taking any supplements. I'm not a nutritionist and I don't have any training in this area - of any kind. If anything, use this as a starting point for your own personal research. Check out these references for more complete info:
Apr 07, 2017
Audience Q&A's: Obsessed Exs, Depressed Partners and Getting Ghosted
Hi friends, this is a quickie Q&A episode answering three questions: What do you do when an ex keeps trying to come back into your life?! How do you deal with a depressed partner/friend who pushes you away? How to deal with being ghosted and positive ways to overcome it? If you're looking for more please reach out! xo Sarah May B. Here’s the Reco’d Reading I mentioned: The Gift of Fear: The Depression Cure: Codependent No More: Courage to Change:
Apr 02, 2017
Ep 92: Confidence in Love - A Core Workout
Let’s say you’re not confident, which leads your to focus on others and accommodate their needs solely. Or you have been tipped off balance because there’s someone in your life that you want so bad and you feel like you can’t keep them so you’re doing whatever you can think of to keep them – but that’s creating a cycle where they pull away more. This is for you. It’s a recommended “core workout” in that it’s for regaining your inner strength. It starts with strengthening that relationship with yourself and a bond with yourself. Another term for it would be self-love. Heads up - this is an episode I recorded without a script so if something doesn't make sense, leave me a comment and I'd be happy to answer. If you liked this, please leave me a review on iTunes! For more of my work check out xo
Mar 18, 2017
Ep 91: Rules of Courtship, Dating & Sealing the Deal w/ Alicia Marder
This is an interview with my bestie and go-to love guru, Alicia Marder. We'll discuss dating and courtship and how to demonstrate your value and "seal the deal" down the line. Heads up! This is most applicable for straight ladies but hopefully helpful to all! Just trade out the pronouns where necessary. I hope you enjoy! For more about Alicia, check out and for more from me check out - and if you like this episode, let us know if you want to ask any questions! We might do a follow-up. xo
Mar 07, 2017
Ep 89: How to Deal with Emotional Dysregulation with Dr. Sharon Flynn
I interview Dr. Sharon Flynn PhD on what dysregulation is, what it’s from and some ways you can treat it. When emotions overtake you and make you unable to act in ways to help yourself, this is called dysregulation. It’s something that happens to a lot of people sometimes from trauma or ptsd, sometimes from the way you’re wired. For more you can check out or xo Sarah May B
Feb 03, 2017
How to deal with rejection
If you got dumped or you didn’t get your dream job, here are some tools and insights to get you back on the wagon of awesomeness. Getting rejected is a confidence assault on so many levels because it reduces you to below the level you were before you mustered the courage to try. Especially if you don’t see it coming, it can make you feel like you can’t trust your gut and therefore, you should never try again. Well I assume you’re waiting for the typical catch-phrases like, “You can’t win if you don’t try.” But that would make me annoyed if I just got rejected so I’ll skip that part. Here are some tips to give you some grounding if this just happened to you. Looking for more? Head to xox My theme song was created by
Jan 19, 2017
Ep 88: What to do when you can’t speak your truth
This is an episode that I’ve been wanting to write for a while – because it’s something that reminds me of a very confusing and difficult time for me. When I couldn’t find my voice, or access it. It’s a thing that happens to a lot of people – you can feel the thing you have to say and it’s just stuck inside your body. You can almost hear yourself screaming it, desperately trying to get it out. But your physical body doesn’t move. It’s like witnessing a silent victim trapped behind double mirrors in prison – why can’t they see me? Why can’t they hear me? Wherever this is coming from – for you, I think I can help give you a bit of a leg up. Because I know how this feels – it’s traumatizing. The worst. Because it’s like you are doing it to yourself, and you are somehow the cause of your own horror – because of the fact that you can’t even stand up for yourself. It sets up a really heavy, powerful loop that compounds a new truth: I am hopeless. I am a liar. I am invisible. I am a coward. No one can see me suffering. No on can help me, including me. Wow – that got kinda dark, huh? Well it’s kinda that feeling – a deep, dark where no light reaches. Let’s get to some proactive information shall we? There are 3 parts, the what why and how – the tools.
Jan 06, 2017
Holiday Reflection Exercise: glance back on your year
This is something to do with a warm blanket and your journal, kinda like a date with yourself. Have your journal handy if you can – and your iphone calendar or a regular calendar, and take a listen. Feel free to pause as you go. This is what I’ll be doing as I go through my year. Happy holidays lovely friends! Celebrate as much as you can. xo Sarah May B.
Dec 23, 2016
Audience Q+A's: Guilt, ish w/ family, unfollowing ex's, dating anxiety & universal stuckness
Hi peeps! In this “experiment” I answer several questions you’ve asked – quick-fire style! Like it? Let me know! What to do when the universe is shitting on you, How to deal if you don’t get along with your parents. Dating: What to do when you can’t help but feel needy or anxious. What to do if you have the same problem in relationships: why it happens, why you should take notice. How to deal with social media when you’ve been through a breakup, and How to forgive yourself when you fuck up a relationship or you feel like you made a bad decision in a relationship.
Dec 06, 2016
Ep 87: What to do When You Have Feelings You Don't Want to Feel
It can be something that sets up a chain reaction: first the feelings of hate or desire or insecurity, then the shame, then the guilt. Then the loop that exacerbates it. I am writing this for all different kinds of situations, so hopefully if you’re suffering you can get a bit of relief – for yourself, and those you love. With that there are three parts – the what, why and how! Let’s do dis! For more of my work head to and to donate visit me on
Nov 28, 2016
Hate relief: How to stop hating and how to heal from a hate crime
For those who have been assaulted in some way by hatred – perhaps from a person you though you were close to. Maybe a peer or a stranger on the street. Or something you heard via the news that really shocked and upset you. Or maybe you’ve been experiencing hate yourself, and you are trying to help yourself out of that. Check out for a list of rights-support organizations – it's an ever-growing on Google docs. I also have a link to help organizations for assault. Hang in there, friends. xox Sarah May B.
Nov 12, 2016
Ep 86: Love Anxiety - How to Deal with Fear Forecasting in New Relationships
This one’s all about the anxiety and stress that you might feel as soon as you end up in a good relationship. The clinginess might be painful, almost excruciating, and the anxiety of not knowing the future and if it's gonna last – might not only take you OUT of the joy state, but ruin your ability to be yourself during the courtship phase. So if this sounds like you, know that there’s nothing wrong with you, I was just like you, and you are among many. This is not forever – so take heart. As usual there are there parts: the what, why and how – the tools! For more of my writing or to make a donation, head to
Nov 02, 2016
Gratitude Joy-State Powerup
Get into the positive, grateful state where you are the most rational. This is to get you smiling and blow your mind a little bit. Share it with someone you love! Enjoy and check out for more smiles xox Sarah May B. mwa mwa mwa
Oct 21, 2016
Ep 85: How to Stop Bad Relationship Loops
When we promise ourselves that we’re never ever going to do the thing we hate, again. Maybe that's the thing your parents did, or the thing we already did that burned us – yet we end up right back in that exact same relationship. Or we might promise ourselves that “this is the last time I take this person back! I KNOW what I want for myself and this is not it!” It’s like being a wind-up toy in that suddenly you find yourself resetting the same loop once again, feeling powerless to stop it when its happening to you. You might say things like, “I have no idea how I ended up in this situation!!” Or, “How could I possibly have made excuses for this person and ignored the signs?” Or even, “Why am I still taking this crap? Why do I allow myself to take this person back again and again? I am MISERABLE. I know I am miserable, and yet I can’t seem to stop.” Maybe when you’re IN a relationship it just feels like love. It’s wonderful and hopeful and passionate and fun. You feel great being appreciated by this other person – they adore you and show you their best, and you feel like you’re finally able to use all your gifts. If you're looking for more of my writing head to and if you're looking for immediate help, I recommend this guy's list: xox Sarah May B.
Oct 19, 2016
Ep 84: Therapy 101 - What Kind of Help to Get, Why + How
An interview with Dr. Sharon Flynn, PhD all about therapy and how it works. How long does therapy take? How do I find a therapist? What's the difference between all the different doctors? How much does it cost? We will discuss various techniques, plus why someone might want to go to therapy in the first place. Hopefully if you've had a "dumb" question about therapy, I will ask it for you! To find Dr. Sharon Flynn, visit
Oct 07, 2016
30 Days of Gratitude Challenge
Hey peeps, this is a practice to help you retrain your brain out of a negative focus. I just started it and I invite you to do the same: 1 negative-into-positive-gratitude per day! (Not in the place of your current gratitudes, in ADDITION to it!) Hope you join me. xo Sarah May B.
Oct 04, 2016
Ep 83: Balanced Goal Setting - Enjoying Life While Achieving
Hi friends, this is really about something I’ve been experiencing lately which is the great energy and ability that comes from doing things that are really challenging and not fun or comfortable for you. I guess because I see in a lot of people who become slaves to habit, a fear or perceived lack of ability when they venture outside that routine. So in many ways, this is about the danger of comfort and how to initiate flexible and changeable self. This is written in part because when you are in a state of continual growth, you can better stay connected to the fact that nothing in life is really such a big deal. Nothing can “take you out” or make you suffer, and better yet – you can do anything and everything you want. You aren’t trapped by the “learned helplessness” that is created by routine – in that you learn from your own behavior, what “you” can do. When you make a habit of trying things that are really hard and make you feel dumb, you stay connected to your “bigger self” – that is you-in-this-entire-lifetime, sense. Because it’s easy to forget when you were a kid and you didn’t care – when you tried before your brain could speak up. I want to help you grow that self a bit more. If you want more of my tools head to and if you like this, please share it! xo
Sep 19, 2016
Chronic Fomo: A Recalibration Exercise
It's easy to get sucked into constant self-measuring and with that, discontent. This is a recalibration for your focus - if you are suffering from Fomo or hyper-focusing on the day-to-day pursuit of better-than. What I call, the hamster seed-gathering loop that is modern day life. If you like this check out for more of my writing and tools. xo Sarah May B.
Sep 03, 2016
Ep 82: When We Lose Friends to Love - the Pairing-Off Process that is Adulthood
Change is tough. New relationships shift old ones. This is for you if someone close to you is falling in love – or changing their priorities. Maybe it’s a new spouse, maybe it’s a new job, maybe it’s a new habit or phase of their life – whatever it is, you can’t be intimately a part of it. What you previously had is suddenly gone: and though occasionally you try to meet them in the same way on the same level – it’s different. They’re not there with you anymore. And that hurts – it makes you sad, and cling to the past. Maybe you don’t feel loved by them anymore. You feel separate – like you don’t know them anymore, even though you know them best! Maybe even better than they know themselves. And yet – they’re going through this new stage and you’re not the same part of it. If you want the blog of my reading list check out later this month. This one's for Donnie - hope you like and that this helps! xo
Aug 27, 2016
College Essay Rough Draft C, or Why Therapy is Worth It
**Warning might make you sad! It's a story that will ground you to the earth and the scope of life, more than make you laugh. With that...This is the story of the moment my entire life changed – I am posting it to give you hope if you suffer from a trauma. Because I have grown to a place of safety and happiness – past mine. I can only see this progress, now in the process of reading it aloud – and not quivering in my voice, or being triggered by it. It doesn’t mean that this story doesn’t mean a great deal to me – it’s just the opposite. It’s that this story – for me – is not something I cannot talk about, anymore. The person it’s about is still very special to me – and will always be a part of me. This is my college essay – and a story about one of the best friends I’ll ever have on this earth. I hope you enjoy. xox Sarah May
Aug 23, 2016
Be Alive! Enjoy Being Simply - Yourself
Hi peeps! This is a mid-dance-party mini power-up episode and my invitation to you to please join me. Because you need to get out of "normal" and just be human once in a while. xo Hope you likee! Check out for all my latest blog and podcast content, and subscribe for updates on The Break-Up Album!
Aug 15, 2016
Ep 81: Stress Eating and the Difference Between Good Stress and Bad Stress
Hi peeps! This was going to be a power-up then I started researching and it turned into a full-length episode. So Jessica – this one’s for you. Hope it helps! And anyone who hasn’t heard already, Yay With is now officially launched. Check it out peeps. Anyhoo, if you are listening to this because you have a rollercoaster dieting style, or you tend to go into an unconscious compulsive state when it comes to food, I think this will be enlightening and helpful in some way. It’s also got some info on the effects of stress and the difference in kinds of stress that’s harmful and not – so hopefully this will be helpful outside of food. As usual there are three parts, the what, why and how – the tools.
Jul 31, 2016
Ep 80: I Want My Ex Back - Best Practices Toward Loving Outcomes
Hi peeps, this is a cheat of an episode in that it’s about how to get closest to getting your ex back via supporting yourself. There are no cheats that will make your ex spontaneously love you if things fell apart, so think of this as a best-practices-for-best-conditions kind of thing. That feeling of pain and longing and even obsession over the loss of your relationship. Maybe it wasn’t something you were expecting, or you both kind of “decided” it was right but now you’re realizing it’s not at all what you wanted and you can’t stop thinking about getting back together. Maybe you’re internet stalking your ex, maybe you’re just super depressed and texting them when you get drunk. Or maybe you’re actively trying to convince them you should get back together – as respectfully as you possibly can, and you can’t for the life of you, figure out how to do this right. So this is for anyone who is trying to get their ex back or is holding their head up high and not admitting they want that, but still wishing they were magically back together– either because you broke their heart and you know now you screwed up, or because you were dumped and you were not ready or willing to have this outcome. If this is where you are – you’re likely in a split personality state that can be sometimes a belligerent puking of tears, sometimes a banal but painful loneliness, sometimes annoyingly obsessed, sometimes scary-obsessed, or sometimes feeling like complete and utter worthless shit – and ONLY your ex can make you feel stable and “yourself” again. If you are helped by this podcast, consider a small donation. Visit or visit
Jul 19, 2016
A Grounding Talk for Confronting What Feels Impossible
This is a power-up episode for anyone facing change that feels too hard or too painful. Take heart and remind yourself that you will do what you need to do when you're ready and in your own time. xo! Sarah May B.
Jul 11, 2016
Ep 79: In Living Color: Self-Examination Exercises to Get More Out of Experiences
This is all about how to get the most out of your capacity and your life experiences as well as how to navigate the painful stuff. I want to talk about the growing of self, as it relates to culture and society – and how it has changed. Plus ways that you can begin to maximize your growth as a human. So this is all about you – and the way you grow yourself in this lifetime. Like a self-reflective path-tuning educational episode. This one’s dedicated to Rich and Aldana. Hope you like!! xo
Jun 27, 2016
Grief & Deep Sadness - a meditation exercise for releasing and passing pain
A power-up episode for anyone dealing with the pain of sorrow of grief and they don’t know where to put the painful feelings. This is a new meditation exercise I learned and I think it’s pretty amazing. I hope it works for you, too. xoxo
Jun 10, 2016
I Am So Upset!!! (Anger Fixation Relief - Part Deux)
Hi loves, this is a more immediate version of the Anger Fixation Relief Power-Up. This one is designed more for if you’re in the moment of an angry loop of emotion – to help you calm down and relieve the immediate effects. I think it’s good to follow up with the second “Anger Fixation relief” episode. xo! Sarah May B.
Jun 02, 2016
Ep 78: Codependency: I Need to Find Someone Who Will Make Me Whole
It’s really hard to stop yourself from helping someone out, doing it for them, giving your time and energy, saying what you said you wouldn’t do again, or diving in head first to a partner – especially when chemicals take over. Because that’s who you are! A giving and loving person! It can feel almost like a commitment to being true to yourself, because when you have all the understanding of someone’s voids – you feel compassion. And even if you didn’t want to try to make them happy or fix something, you feel obligated – mostly by yourself you’re your own inner voice. It’s also because you like them so much and you want to make them happy. To fight against this habit will feel wrong, unnatural. And super uncomfortable – and it makes others so happy. It’s a confusing dilemma – to NOT follow your instincts will make you might feel like you’re not being yourself. You want to be loving and give your best for someone you love. It’s a catch-22. And so the flip side of this is you end up doing it all: you’re the saver who comes to the rescue and others will continue to disappoint you on a loop. Like you’re surrounded by children. You end up feeling resentful toward others for not giving you the love and care and THANKS you deserve, but you can’t stop yourself from being there for them and helping them live better lives. It feels good to be helpful. This end result leaves you and whoever else you are stuck to in life, fighting or empty – battling for love and care and attention. And you’re not asking so much at all – just for a tiny bit of love and support at SOME time in life. Or just for them to not be so destructive. This one’s for Ty – great topic! Thank you! If this helps you in any way, consider making a monthly donation at thanks!
Jun 01, 2016
Ep 77: Something's Wrong: When Worry, Hurt, Stress and Sadness Make You Stuck
Oh shit. This is bad. I’m not wrong, they’re wrong. Ouch this hurts. I wish this wasn’t this way. Why does everyone hate me? I hate everyone. I am dreading going to this place. I wish I never dated that person. They’re probably talking shit about me. I should be doing better by my age. I haven’t done anything with my life. No one loves me. I look like shit. These are the voices of worry, shame, fear, regret, pain of various forms – the loops that play out and push us to solve for x or act according to x. This is when you can’t find your way out of a situation and instead your life just gets smogged over by the situation: when you know that something is wrong and because of it, you feel terrible inside. Life suddenly loses its highlights. You ask for advice, you work on plans to overcome it, you wish on it, pray on it, lament it, replay it, try to aggressively work on alleviating it, or you hide from it and numb it. And it thickens. It’s the one thing that really catalyzes a whole lot of other beliefs – and you can’t seem to figure out a workaround. When an emotion sticks inside us it CONTROLS US and often pushes us to act on its behalf – like a little demon with a joystick inside your brain. So if this sounds vaguely familiar, this is an episode for you. There are three parts – the what, the why, and the how - the tools! Before I go on I wanted to let everyone know about my second podcast called “Love is Like a Plant” with Ellen Huerta of Mend. She’s building an app to get you through a breakup. Check us out – it’s all about relationships and dating. Anyhoo. The what! If you like what you hear and you want to support this show visit me on Patreon or head to and click donate! xox
May 18, 2016
When Life Gives You a Wedgie and Smashes Your Confidence
Hi peeps, this is a little power-up reflection exercise for anyone who has just had the wind taken out of them by a life gut-punch. Whether you lost a job, didn't get a second date, or just had a person tell you in whatever words that you're a loser - this is perfect for you. Heart to heart, directly from my brain this morning. Hope you enjoy. And NO, you're not crazy, your life's not over, and you're not alone. xox Sarah May B.
May 18, 2016
Anger Fixation Relief: A gratitude reflection exercise
I did this myself and it worked for my so I wanted to offer it to you! This is a little refocusing exercise to help you let go of anger and resent - especially if you're fixating on something that bugs you. Whether it's a friend, a partner, a boss - you can train yourself to remember your kind and loving state. It comes down to a simple re-focusing practice when you need it most. xox Sarah May B.
Apr 26, 2016
Ep 76: Dirty Tactics: When Someone Uses Manipulation to Make You Feel Crazy
This is also known as gas-lighting – based on a Hitchcock film where Ingrid Bergman was made to feel crazy by her husband. What I am going to talk about is what to do and how to recognize when someone is intentionally keeping you feel off-balance or pushing your buttons to make you into the bad guy. It’s a control tactic, and it’s extremely cruel – not to mention, when done overtime it can make you believe you can’t trust your own instincts. You will start to lose a connection to your own gut instincts because someone is making you believe that they might be wrong, consistently over time. It can stall you from actually reaching the solution to an issue, and even blind you to real and dangerous truths happening right in front of you – on a greater and greater scale. Because over a long period of time – no matter how rational and confident you start out, eventually you catch “the sickness” of the manipulative behavior. Long story short – it’s DANGEROUS and NOT COOL and you shouldn’t be tolerating it or be around it – at all. This is an episode to give you a starting point for helping yourself out of this situation. Three parts – what why and how, the tools. Apologies for the background sounds - I recorded this after work in the car so there are helicopters around me!
Apr 23, 2016
Ep 75: WTF Happened? When Great Relationships Suddenly Turn Bad
How good relationships turn into bad relationships, seemingly out of nowhere. Whether that’s with fights that ensue endlessly, or one partner suddenly betrays the other partner – this kind of behavior can make you feel mystified, angry, and stuck. So I want to shed a bit of light on a potential reason behind these changes – if you once had a healthy and mutually rewarding relationship, this might give you a starting place for the work that has to be done. OR at the very least enlighten you as to what happened. My other name for this episode is Family Ties. You’ll know why if you listen to this. Does any of this sound familiar? “I thought I married someone who loved me and they seem like they hate me now.” “This behavior came out of nowhere – one day she told me she didn’t love me anymore.” “I can’t believe this happened – I want to ask her, was it worth it?” These are the kinds of things I hear often from my One-On-One clients, especially when it comes to break-ups. It’s a very common experience to suddenly see your partner change into someone you don’t know, you didn’t think they’d be. It can make you feel stupid like you should have known better. It can make you feel assaulted – like you just got a hard slap for no reason whatsoever. It can make you feel you can’t tell up from down and the world is not what you thought it was. There’s a reason why this is happening, just like there’s a solution – if you want one. Before I get started I want to tell you that this is much more abbreviated than it should be, because this is such an intricate and amazing topic. If you’re interested in learning more about it I will post a link to my reading material on my website in the blog version. It’s worth a read – called Intimate Partners by Maggie Scarf. A blow your mind amazing book. There are three parts: the what why and how – the tools. Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit or Thanks! If you like what you hear, check out my other podcast called Love is like a plant with Ellen Huerta of Mend! xo
Apr 01, 2016
Ep 74: Self-Sabotage: Why We Betray Ourselves and Destroy Our Relationships
For those who can’t stop trying to convince themselves they’re bad with self-destructive actions. This one is for Nikki. Why do we destroy relationships with those who love us? Why do break our own trust, betray our own dreams, and rob ourselves of happiness and safety as soon as we get close to it. It’s a mystifying loop of behavior that has powerful effects on everything about our life: a chain reaction that keeps us hiding or running from the ugly truth of what we’ve done. Just like an addict, you live with a subconscious awareness that you will inevitably destroy whatever good you might have – and that anxiety is overwhelming and scary. Like a lurking future of pain awaits you just around the corner. Happiness is immediately blocked by the overwhelming sense of dread that it will soon be lost. And so you self-medicate the fear and cling more tightly to what you want so badly. When you do inevitably self-sabotage and act out in ways that betray your values and the values of your partner, the experience is laden with fear and the resulting shame is soul-crushing. Like you just woke up inside a nightmare. You have an almost separate self who is doing these things despite you. I want you to know there’s a simple reason behind your cycle of behavior that you must CHOOSE to learn. It’s not who you are, it’s a tactic that you learned to cope with unrelated pain and anxiety. There are three parts: the what, the why, the how. Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit or Thanks!
Mar 13, 2016
The Invisible Wall Blocking You From Change
Why Can’t I Change? Why Can’t I Reach My Goal? Hi friends, this is a power-up for anyone who wants a change and has wanted it for a long time, but you just don’t seem to get there and you’ve pretty much accepted it or given up hope. I am addressing a number of changes: maybe you want to be healthier, you want to find love, you want a different job, whatever it is – you want something – badly, but you’ve all but accepted that it’s not going to happen. There are too many obstacles so while you want this thing, you’ve been living without it for a very long time – and that’s the fate you’ve been dealt. I want to propose a theory I have and I am coming from a place of love – and I’d just like to ask you to attempt to believe what I’m saying is true, for you. Just for the sake of openness – treat it like an exercise. In other words – try it on “as if it were true” as your first stance, and don’t allow your defensive reflexes to stop you. I have them too – we all do, the voice that says, “False! This doesn’t relate to me at all– that’s not true in MY case…” I hope you enjoy this and if it helps you at all consider a monthly donation. Even something as small as a cup of coffee helps me keep this show going. Visit or xo!
Mar 06, 2016
How to Be There: A Simple Way to Make Life More Meaningful
This is a power-up episode all about how to be more present in your everyday life – specifically when it comes to your human interactions. This is something I decided to record after reading (listening to) “When Breath Becomes Air” and this episode of All in the Mind – the guest is this amazing woman called Christine Bryden who was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers in her 40s. She’s amazing and so is this interview. Her latest book is called “Before I Forget.” Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy – it’s very much my train of thought, so be forgiving… Xox Sarah May B. When Breath Becomes Air: All in the Mind: Before I Forget: If you're looking for more content, subscribe to "Love is Like a Plant" by new podcast with cohost Ellen Huerta of – it’s all about love and break-ups:
Feb 26, 2016
Ep 73: Love & Honesty: What We Hide and Why
Why sometimes people aren’t honest with us and sometimes we’re not honest with ourselves. This one’s written for a person who contacted me who’s newly single and dating quite a bit. He has a few different partners and has had a lot of difficulty saying he is doing so because it goes against everything he wants. This is all about how the simple act of being honest can change your life in awesome earth-shattering ways. I talk about honesty and dishonesty and how it comes into play in our relationships. So if you’re the type of person who dates and doesn’t tell the other person where you’re really at – or if you’re super jealous and suspicious about your partner and it drives you mad, or if you’re a regular person dealing with regular relationship power-plays— this is for you! Help Me Be Me is advertising free and takes hundreds of hours to create. If you enjoy my work or it improves your life, consider a monthly donation: even something as small as a cup of coffee makes a big difference. Head to or visit Thanks! xox Looking for more? Check out my other podcast with cohost Ellen Huerta of Check us out on Soundcloud and iTunes – our show is all about love and heartbreak, called Love Is Like a Plant. Yay!
Feb 23, 2016
An Introduction to "The Break-Up Album" (in honor of Valentine's Day)
Hi friends, in honor of Valentine’s Day I wanted to share the introduction to “The Break-Up Album” my podcast album coming out later this year. Why? Because it can be a difficult holiday for many of us – the pressure is on! And if you’ve recently been through a break-up, Valentine’s Day can be like a party to celebrate your pain – it salts the wound and makes you feel like you’re not good enough because you don’t have a person to call your own. But in reality, you’ve been given a gift – if you choose to see it that way. That’s what the Break-Up Album is all about! Making this break-up into the best thing that ever happened to you. Which I believe it can be. So with that – take a listen to the introductory chapter of, “The Break-Up Album” available later this year. If you’d like to be added to the pre-order mailing list, head to and click on the album. Sending you much love this week and every week!! xox Sarah May B.
Feb 11, 2016
Ep 72: Toxic Love: I Need Her, Don’t Leave Me, I Can’t Live Without Him
Love shouldn’t hurt. It shouldn’t feel like it’s your lifeline – that you will fall into a million pieces if someone else chooses to break up. This kind of chemical bond is similar to that we universally associate with High School romance: hormones are high and we reach sometimes addiction-level chemical intoxication. But that’s not how it should feel when you pass the hormonal bump. Like such an intensely devastating and all-consuming obsession. Past the initial courtship stage, love shouldn’t be tied to NEED and it shouldn’t be able to command your mood and focus. So if you experience it this way, and it causes you to do things that betray yourself and put your needs aside those of another. If you find yourself all-consumed by the actions or thoughts of another to the degree that it controls your happiness – this is an episode for you. It’s about the particular reasons that this kind of attachment happens to you, that you might not be able to see are operating – or know are optional. To you it probably just feels like “you” and who you are, not some other powerful unseen force. Because most people who operate like this think of it as a measure of how MUCH they love, or their ability as a person to bend and adapt. Not so. This is an unhealthy form of attachment that can be tweaked once understood. This is an episode to educate more than anything because awareness is the first step to change. So listen to this with the goal of simply taking it in. I WANT TO HELP YOU begin the process of the kind of loving that can be done from a safe and balanced distance. From a comfortable place inside yourself, that protects you always. It’s a way of being that allows you to create healthy boundaries, and choose mates who are capable of loving you, and more importantly – makes you capable of receiving it. Because truly we teach others how they should love us, by how we love ourselves. If you are not protecting your needs and giving yourself care and gentle loving attention, then you’re also telling others not to. With that, here are the three parts! Part 1 is the what, Part 2 is the why, Part 3 are some steps to take now. Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit Thanks!
Jan 28, 2016
A Gratitude New Year Reflection Practice, To Do With a Friend or Solo
Hi lovies! This is a Power Up to do with a friend, your hubby, or just solo with a pen and paper. Caveat: This leans more heavily into the self-help genre than most of my podcasts, but despite that – it’s super fun and more importantly, it’s beneficial to your quality of life! I think so much of personal growth is getting over that hump of “OMG this is stupid” and just doing it anyway even though you sound like a cliché. So with that – I want to offer you a Gratitude Practice that’s best done with a friend or significant other. A way to look at your growth and foster what you want more of moving forward. Enjoy! xox Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit or Thanks!
Jan 18, 2016
Ep 71: Creating Your Worth: How to Ask for a Raise and Interview With the Best Outcome
Hi there! This is the second half of episode 70, about bettering your outward-facing self to get more of what you want and deserve. This one is all about how to ask for a raise and ways to set up the most successful outcome when negotiating your worth. This episode is structured differently than past episodes. Part 1 is about grooming and creating more value in yourself as a professional, plus ways of showing others that value. Part 2 is about how to ask for a raise in the most hard to argue with and amicable way possible – how to make it easy for a boss to give you what you want vs unintentionally souring the position you have. Part 3 is about how to go into a new job interview – the best way to present yourself and also dictate your value to the perception of another. How to ask for what you want and create the right image. I believe you are capable and perfect for anything you choose to do with all your heart. If it is not in the cards – find a new pathway – a side entry or a different avenue that rewards that part of yourself. And check where the motivation is coming from. If you’re doing something because you want to tell others you’re doing that thing, it’s not the right reason. If you’re doing it because it comes naturally – and feels right – or it is something you love passionately, then you’ll do it anyway. Follow your inclinations. Listen to what fits or flows. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you shouldn’t do something. They are saying that for their own reasons – usually fear, or deep unhappiness. This life comes down to YOU and what YOU decide you want to do during this part of it. No one else makes that call but you. Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit or Thanks! x
Jan 16, 2016
Ep 70: Weak and Insecure: How to Grow Your Strength and Confidence at Work and in Life
Hi peeps! It is moi, Sarah May. This is Part 1 of a two part episode. Part 2 will be solely focused on how to ask for a raise and how to tell someone your value when you apply for a new job. This is for anyone who is insecure or has a hard time with confidence at work or socially. Maybe you are introverted or sensitive, so this prevents you from speaking up or saying what you think. Or maybe when you do assert yourself it hurts to hear what people say back to you that’s critical. Maybe you feel intimidated by those around you and they use tactics to make you feel worse. Because in an unseen but felt way, your life overall is guided by this theme of fear, low self-confidence, low self-worth: instead of an upward climb, it’s a torturous plateau full of mental battles and fearful anticipations. And you want to do the things that everyone else does – like speak up with confidence, demand a raise, let go of what other people think, have faith in the value of your own opinions, and be a boss. It’s just that pesky inner voice that seems to get in the way. Help Me Be Me takes hundreds hours of create. If you get any value out of the work I do or it helps your life, please consider a monthly donation. Even something as small as a cup of coffee helps this show exist. To donate visit or Thanks! xo
Jan 03, 2016
A Simple Reflection Exercise for Clarity and Awareness
Heads up, this is recorded on my iPhone, so forgive me, it’s not the best quality – it’s a post-yoga reflection that I just had to record for you as soon as it came to mind, so I hope you enjoy it. It’s a short meditation to do as we enter this new year full of awesome potential. A way to check in with your thoughts and reorganize them so that you can better your trajectory, see what you’re holding onto that’s not serving you, what’s playing on a loop in your head, and what has manifested in your life that you might want to tweak. Much love and have a happy new year! Xo Smile loves.
Dec 26, 2015
Ep 69: How to deal with family who are unwelcoming and mean
I know the holidays are just a few days away– which can bring up a ton of uncomfortable feelings especially if you have not-so-loving-family members. This is for anyone who has family, or anyone in their life who is meant to be nice to them and instead has chosen to close off and be mean. This could be your significant other’s family or your own family, like for example – your parent married into a new family and you feel excluded by them. So this is for anyone who has a significant other with a family who doesn’t accept or acknowledge you. Or maybe they constantly divide you and your spouse. Maybe this isn’t your significant other – maybe it’s a friend or your family – like if a parent remarried, or your family has dysfunctional ways of relating to you. This is for a friend who wrote to me – hang in there. I know this ain’t easy and it takes the strongest person to manage it. If you are helped by this podcast and find value in it, consider making a monthly donation - even an amount as small as a cup of coffee. Visit or find my page on Patreon. xo!
Dec 18, 2015
Ep 68: Burnout – How to Deal With Creative and Motivational Exhaustion
It’s no shocker that working all night and all day with a million different deadlines can lead even the most inspired and motivated individuals to burnout and depression. Careers and schools often demand it, and it becomes the norm – hopefully for only a short time in your life, but regardless – it’s dangerous for your body and soul and can take a toll on the future-you and your success as a professional AND happy individual. So this is for people who are in creative fields, schools, or professions that require they go hard for extended periods of time – causing them to burnout mentally and motivationally. I have some information to empower you to make better decisions, plus some tools to help you if you’re already stuck in an overworked depression. And ways to temper the stress and anxiety of intense deadlines and assignments moving forward. I know there’s a lot written on this subject but I will offer you a more practical set of solutions so that you can actually implement them starting NOW and not in six months, when “things calm down.” This one is for my new friend in the Netherlands – Nathalie. xo There are three parts – the what, the why, the how – the tools.
Nov 29, 2015
Ep 67: Living As A Fraud: When you have a voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough
Are you guided by a belief that something is wrong with you? That you’re not good enough, and that you are fooling everyone – pretending you’re like them, but soon enough they’re going to realize you’re not talented, cool or smart. Maybe you constantly strive to build the life of someone worthy, but always seem to feel just as worthless as before: you’re never thin enough, you’re not as successful as you’d like to be, or maybe you’re living a life that you know you don’t want but you’re too afraid to do anything about it because it’s going to show the world that you’re a weak and shameful loser. So it’s better to just stay safe, and protected in the lie. Even though you feel suffocated and stifled by this life. Well if this sounds like you then you’re in good company – this is a universal human trait: to feel that we’re not good enough. And that’s because so much of the self is defined by things we learn from others. The brain we use to drive and make money is also the brain that computes risk based on a very specific structure we’ve built via our life experiences. So it’s natural to have grown up with a set of beliefs that are – to say the least – not in favor of your confidence and self-love. So if this sounds like you I hope to offer you some relief in the form of understanding, plus a few tools to manage the affects. As usual there are 3 parts: the what, the why, and the how: the tools. This one is for Guy.
Nov 14, 2015
Ep 66: How to Use Compassion to Rise Above the Hate & Intolerance of Others
We all want to be nice and caring people – because it feels good. It rewards us. However we are human and sometimes it can be a challenge to stay in that mindset, especially if people are deliberately cruel and hateful. Anger and hate become a natural reaction – or to simply shutdown and ignore. For the same is true of fearing those who hate: when you don’t understand someone and their beliefs betray everything you hold sacred, it’s a feeling that can touch every nerve inside you and incite the same thing – inside you. A hate and intolerance for their beliefs. It’s tough to be willing to understand others, especially when they express hate, brutality or intolerance. Like looking into the face of someone filled to the brim with fire and toxic sludge, spitting at you – it can offend every sense you have to witness such a thing. And worse, it can infect you and bring you down. There are lots of toxic people out there, and the natural reaction is to stay as far away from them as possible. But when it comes to people you love, you work with, or you can’t shut out of your life – this is a set of tools to help you understand them and better relate to them. In the face of intolerance, the self-protective instinct is to run away – to shut down to them and soothe the hurt, lest this hurt you anymore. But this is only a temporary fix to manage the situation. There is a state you can graduate to – PAST this point of managing and shutting off – one comparable to enlightenment: compassion. It’s challenging but also freeing, and it can be a powerful solution when it comes to someone you care about or must deal with in your life – for example a loved one or family member. I hope you enjoy! xo For more of my writing head to
Oct 30, 2015
Episode 65: Stuck, Depressed and Full of Self-Hate
This is for anyone stuck in a place of self-hate and inaction. Someone in a shitty place in life, depressed and hopeless: hating on themselves, where they are, and at a loss for where to go from here. Maybe you have people in your life who love and encourage you and you hate that you’re bringing them down – yet you can’t figure out why your life just sucks so much when others get to be happy. You feel it is unfair for both of you. However – if you suffer severe depression, it’s probably not for you. I know that chronic depression is one of the hardest things to battle. And for some, it’s paralyzing – like worse than death. It’s like being a human zombie. I am terrified of depression – it’s the worst kind of pain. So if you suffer that, you might not like this post – because it assumes that you have some power in the situation. If you are a sufferer who is incapacitated by your depression, this is not for you. I feel for you, and when I have enough to offer you, I will create an episode just for you. There are three parts. The what, the why and the how. Let’s do this! xo
Oct 25, 2015
Episode 64: Trivial Couple Fights: For Getting Stuck in Battles of the Technicalities
How to stop trivial couple arguments that involve endless semantics debates – the ones usually started by faulty communication that are pointless and seem to last forever. This is a follow-up episode to last week’s episode which was about better loving - it’s all about a modern condition many couples are suffering in greater and greater numbers: the stupid arguments we get into with our awesome significant others – over stupid little things like corrections and blame. The couples’ court battle of technicalities. What does that mean? Endless arguments with your significant other argued with technicalities – who said what, who’s right, who’s wrong – what I meant when I said that thing, no YOU said that which is what made me say that. You always do this! Can we not? Please? Can we stop this stupid fight? You’re the reason this started! I’M the one who’s trying not to fight— etc. We’ve all been there, and we all don’t want to go there – ever! Because it’s a massive time and energy suck and it usually results in nothing positive or helpful. It’s just a way to ruin a nice night or make us ready to fight for the rest of a Saturday. So why does this happen to modern couples and how do we get out of it? That’s what this episode is all about. As in all of my blogs, there are three parts – the what, the why and the how – the tools. And I’ll put my references in the blog version of this post. Yay! This one’s for Matt. Hope you enjoy!
Oct 10, 2015
Episode 63: How to Love – Giving to Your Relationship in the Best Way Possible
This is for people in a loving relationship and you’re working to give love BETTER to that person. I have a lot of tools in this one – many of them are for being the most effectively supportive if your partner is suffering. Many of them are for breaking through to an empowered position when the powerful patterns take over – when intimacy is not fun or simple romance, and you are both struggling to find a path to be loving in the midst of life stress and conflicts. Because, relationships are very confusing – they’re personal. When two people get intimate, another human becomes a very major your focus – you cannot separate yourself completely when you operate as a pair. And that can make you feel frustrated, overwhelmed and powerless - And when someone it comes to one partner’s suffering, it can be very difficult to deal – because it’s your life, too. There are three parts – the what, the why and the how – the tools. This one is for Katie – I hope this helps!! For the blog version check out later this week. Smile lovely friends!! xox
Oct 01, 2015
A Teaspoon of Happy
This is a different kind of power-up episode to inspire a positive state of life. It’s a simple one that I offer you as you begin your weekend. And yes, it’s called “A teaspoon of happy” – just like my blog title! What does that mean? It’s super cutesy and girly, yes. It sounds good on a site like Hello Giggles, yes. But it’s actually my methodology – my approach to happiness. Because I think of it as a recipe. One I would like to offer you. I hope you enjoy! xox
Sep 16, 2015
Episode 62: Where We Hold Pain: How Negative Emotions Get Stuck in Our Bodies
Just like stress can cause you to get a tight knot in the muscles of your back, so too can other parts of your body hold tight to things like fear or anger or even malform due to a particular belief system. Things like a pervasive feeling of lack in life can manifest in physical form in the way we digest food. You’ve probably heard things like this a million times and thought to yourself, “Ha - yeah right!” Because it’s a heady concept and not something you could TEST with a beaker tube. The power of the mind over the body comes off as super new-agey and therefore we all to often put it in the bullshit pile. But the affects of how we hold onto emotional pain are quite severe, they manifest in disease and damage your gene code for future generations– so in my opinion, why not lean in favor of, “do something about it, regardless” because there’s nothing to lose, everything to gain. OR, even just decide to stay open to what I am saying purely for the sake of practicing openness. In broad strokes, I will go through some of the connections between emotions we hold onto and where they tend to get stuck in our body- plus a few tools to do something about it. There are several books on the particular topics that I will post at the end of the blog version of this podcast, but in truth – if you suffer from chronic pain go to a doctor! And if you suffer severe emotional pain, see a therapist! This is not a substitute for either of those. So you know what you’re getting into – this is an episode all about the body, with a lot of yoga poses to soothe particular negative emotions that get stuck in your body. If that doesn’t appeal to you – you probably won’t like this episode– but I will bet you get something valuable out of it regardless. This is about the body, so I’m going to talk about things like pooping – so if that’s not what you want to listen to right now, then maybe save this for another time. There are three parts – the what, the why and the how. I hope you enjoy lovely peeps. xoxoxo
Sep 11, 2015
What's the Rush?
Hi peeps! This is an emotional power-up episode for those who hate to be bored, who have a constant habit of hurrying through life. For increasing mindfulness around the habit of rushing: when 'it’s not enough, you’re not there yet, life is frustrating, why are things so slow, stupid, boring' etc. It’s easy to get into a kind of permanent unconscious state – being in a hurry comes with the speed of pretty much all technology. It’s your job to be deliberate about slowing yourself down. So in the moment you recognize yourself rushing – or impatient, stop and take a look around in that moment. Really recognize the details inherent in that moment and appreciate them. Think to yourself that maybe, they are exactly as they are for a very good reason. The way they are is the way they should be – and you are not meant to be further ahead than you are. Witness what there is to appreciate in the individual moment. And practice just being with it. Accepting it. As exactly what it’s meant to be – even if that’s nothing exciting. See the value in that moment being just that: a moment. It doesn’t have to be – and shouldn’t be “SOMETHING” for it to have value. Why? Because a sentence needs air, it’s with the pauses – with pacing, comes a natural texture and flow. It’s where our experience can drink up the organic beauty vs. muscle and control it. Like fighting a current when you can instead just flow with it. Smile lovely friends! Have a request? Write me! @sarahmaybee or xo For more of my writing, check out
Sep 09, 2015
Episode 61: Frustration and Dissatisfaction: I’m Not Where I Want to Be and That Sucks.
If you’re in a place of constant frustration with your current life – wanting to be somewhere in the future or wishing life was better, like it was in the past. Maybe you are working toward some kind of personal growth and you’re getting mad at the slow speed its happening. Or you’ve been struggling to make something happen for a long time and it’s not happened yet – and you’re getting super bummed out. This one is dedicated to my Grandma, Irene May – who recently passed. She was one of my favorite people I ever had the privilege to know. This is all about shifting perspective toward openness. Becoming receptive and loosening your need to control. There’s a meditation, plus an acceptance ritual – it’s chocked full of stuff! I hope you enjoy. xox Smile y’all!
Aug 26, 2015
Episode 60: Crankiness: For Anger, Meanness and Chronic Negativity
Are you in a state of “I hate this” or “people are morons” or are you just generally over something about life? Well this episode is for anger of all kinds – from crankiness to annoyance, all the way to pure hatred and ‘fuck this shit to hell.’ What I am really addressing is the mental and physical state itself – because it’s not what you want, it can wreak havoc on your body, those around you, and worst of all, it perpetuates itself. Unhappiness cultivates unhappiness. If you’re interested in listening to this I assume that’s because you are well aware this is bringing you down and it’s not what you want – but you can’t seem to help yourself out of the situation because there are external factors that make that impossible. Life is full of triggers – work, traffic, not to mention – other angry people, so this is to address how you can remove their affect regardless. So without further ado – there are 3 parts to this puppy – the what, the why, and the how: the tools. Yay. Let’s do this! Check out later this week for the blog version of this post. Smile friends! xo
Aug 17, 2015
Emotional Heaviness: Releasing Sorrow, Stress and Emotional Muck
Hi friends, this is an emotional cleansing power up episode for clearing sorrow and stress and emotional muck. It's best to listen to it while you take a short walk outside. It’s a visualization meditation of sorts, one you can do with your eyes open. If you can’t do this while walking, I recco you do this while in a yoga inversion of some sort. It focuses on calming your nervous system with breathing exercises, and its one I do myself - quite often. I hope you like! xox Sarah May B.
Aug 12, 2015
Episode 59: Ex-Obsessed: Emotionally Devastated and Driving Yourself Insane
For when you’re in the break-up zone that causes you to obsess over the person you just broke up with. This is for anyone who has just been broken up with or broken up with a person that they felt they loved – and now you’re obsessing and even Facebook stalking this person. Maybe you know this is not helpful but you can’t stop wanting to know what they’re doing, who they’re with, who they’re seeing now and what that person looks like. And that is hurting you even more! But it’s an obsession and you can’t stop. Firstly – I am so sorry you’re here! This time will end. You are in the hardest part right now – and the more you can do to be self-loving and be nice to yourself, the faster this will end. I’ve been here myself and it blows. But you can half the time you suffer if you do everything in your power to do what you know is best for yourself. And that includes some healthy tough love when it comes to policing yourself and what you allow your focus to rest on. This kind of a break up is way worse because it’s hitting you on multiple fronts – in other words, this is not just about the loss of love. With all break-ups, time is the greatest healer – but in addition to that, I want to empower you with some insight into your “why” so that you can begin to separate from the process you’re victim to, currently: the obsessing and salting the wound. So you can see the difference between the kinds of suffering: and see what is NOT truly coming from love. As usual there are three parts. The what the why and the how – the tools. This is for Chelsea. I heart you girl! Hang in there. X
Aug 04, 2015
Episode 58: The Importance of Being Present
Hi peeps! This is an episode with a short meditation in part 3. It covers why soothing your body and reducing the chatter in your brain is the key to your ultimate happiness. As a society we tend to get hyper focused. We get into the groove of our job or our relationships – and we get stressed by how many things there are to worry about. Am I doing well as a person? Am I successful?” When will I get to the right level? How can I be more of what I want to be? Suddenly we’re looking straight down at our feet and trying to take bigger steps instead of keeping our eyes to the beautiful sunrise on the horizon. This is almost like an introduction to my podcast in that it is truly the KEY to every positive change you want to make in your life. It is also the key to happiness and also the key to finding your life’s purpose. What is it? Ready? Listen intently. Consciousness: Feeling the feelings that are going through your body as they come. Being fully connected to that awareness and not “occupied” be a roaring sea of thoughts or rapid firing fears and analysis. Sometimes it’s like facing a roaring lion because some terrible awful stuff lives inside us in many moments of our life. Feeling hopeless, or worthless or afraid of what if’s to come. And yet, we must allow ourselves to feel those things - it's the key to building your ultimate life. This is an episode with three parts. The general what, why, and then as a tool, I end with a meditation. Check out later this week for the blog version of this post and I hope you enjoy this! Smile lovelies! xox Sarah-May
Jul 23, 2015
Episode 57: The Average Case of Body Dysmorphia - Ugliness In the Eyes of the Beholder
This one’s for planet earth. We all have an internal self portrait –and that is created by the way we feel about who we are. There are SOOOOO many factors that control how we feel about ourselves – and what we perceive as our flaws. And that’s why BD is such a big problem: it looks and acts like “normal” self-image concerns. It walks and talks like vanity. And, yet, it destroys the average person’s happiness in so many ways across a lifetime, unchecked. Your self-image is a distorted hallucination – one heavily affected by your fears, vulnerabilities, your brain chemicals, and the way you integrate information from the world around you. AND when it comes to how we view our flaws, it has no connection to how the world views you or your actual physical appearance. That’s one reason this is such a powerful and rising problem is because it’s a kind of suffering that’s veiled as “normal.” An every-growing percentage of the population is dissatisfied with some or many traits of their physical appearance. When everyone you know obeys the same standard and marketing and media reinforce the irrational bar – how would you ever know there was another option? For the resources mentioned check out later this week. Smile y'all! Xo
Jul 11, 2015
Episode 56: How to get over it: How to stop old conflicts from stunting your present life
This is for people who are aware of when old issues are entering their present and they know they don’t want that to be happening. Our old memories operate like a trigger/pattern system. Think of it as a pinball machine called “My Pain Game” and it makes the shape of your brain with all sorts of memories that you allow to define who you are, what is allowed to affect you and what you focus on and feel. You have that little pinball that lies latent but when it’s triggered – it shoots around your brain and activates different zones of pre-set actions. Those zones are things like, “ There are two little paddles you get to control at the base of this game. Your emotionally driven reaction depends on where you choose to hit this ball. If you hit it hard, it shoots into “pain and drama.” When you don’t hit it at all, it drops off the board. The point being – you are the one who keeps the ball in play. So when it goes into a certain area, it activates new triggers that are not controlled by you. Those little “hot spots” that shoot it even harder – these emotional hotspots take over the game and the ball will shoot around the table at top speed. The ball makes its way around and back to our hands – and what we tend to do is shoot it back up again, causing it to replay the series of triggers we have all over our “memory of self.” Just like a pinball machine – often it feels in our mind like we have no control and we are not to blame for this patterned response. However – ultimately we have control, and we can choose to keep the ball in play or not. Our power comes into play when we actually choose to USE that control in the moment it counts. When we have the brief moment of awareness – that we are about to play out our game again. Aren’t you sick of the game? I bet you are – because what you’re losing right now is quality of life. If your old pain is old enough, it’s likely voiced by the rationale of a child – so the childhood logic, which is petty and small – is still operating you. Even if the situation is recent and totally unrelated to your childhood dynamics –the same baggage will pilot you when a trigger comes up. Don’t let it. You’re a grown up now. And grownups can look at things and put them down already. Old pain is totally unnecessary and the only person it robs is YOU. You hurt you by wasting your valuable moments in an old automatic loop of behaviors and thoughts and reactions. Who wants to play this now? It’s old, dusty and not fun. For more visit and please review me if you like this! xo
Jun 29, 2015
Episode 55: Jealousy – How to Rise Above Your Weakest Self
Jealousy, or a perception of your insecurities come to life. How does it sneak into your mind? Your darkest thoughts in your most fearful voice begin scratching at your feelings, dragging you down and causing you to act as your lowest self. You assume you are less than and life is against you somehow. You're either not enough, or something else outside of you is not enough. What is this emotional state? Your lowest form of self, the self that is motivated by fear and hate, put in a threatened defensive position. Think of it as You minus your awareness of what is good and loving in this world. This low emotional self is also called your irrational self. Most of jealousy acts as a hallucination. It does not show you reality it shows you insecure self-loathing reality: in that world, no one likes you and all the fears you have about yourself are true. For many of us it is clear that we are in an emotionally charged, irrational state – however, we cannot stop ourselves from wanting to “solve” for the perceived insult. “Is it true?! If so, how true? I need to know!” Nothing will quench the irrational need to compute “why” we have been betrayed: we go into loops of solving, calculating, tallying, replaying. And jealousy has a very potent ability to madden us for that reason: it’s all consuming, it belittles us, and we are aware it’s inside of us and us alone. A self-inflicted pain with the power to torture and haunt our every moment. You will never arrive at your truth through jealousy - you can only do that from a calm, objective vantage point - so this is all about stepping back from the emotion so you can regain your sound thinking. The power behind jealousy is also the key to undoing it: it does not live in reality – it lives in our reaction to reality. So we can indeed help ourselves when we struggle in the triggered moments. Hopefully, I will offer you a few tools to help you navigate out of it and back to your true and highest self: grounded, making decisions from a balanced and sane mindset. There are three parts: The what. They why. The how: the tools. This one is for Fran - thanks for writing me and I hope you likee! xox Sarah May B.
Jun 19, 2015
Episode 54: Stuck in Survival Mode – When Worry Takes Over Your Life
For when you can’t stop feeling worried or obsessed with what is threatening your stability in life – a stress response based on past traumas or recent ones, for that matter. In this episode, ‘survival mode’ is the term we are giving a pervasive sense of fear and stress and anxiety over issues that are not a real threat, though they are experienced in hypotheticals. Survival mode drives people to obsessively think about painful things: things past, things to come, analyzing and solving endlessly. In other words – like the worst version of brain overdrive you can imagine and all the time. It’s so powerful that it takes over your life. This can come in varying degrees – from intolerable writhing panic to manageable but potent worry. Regardless, it’s always something that keeps you outside of your life – unable to truly engage and enjoy it as you see others do. Living in survival mode, you want to run and you don’t know where. This one is for Heather! I heart you girl – hope this helps the teensiest bit. For more of my writing head to
Jun 08, 2015
Episode 53: Love Languages: Overcoming Emotional Baggage So You Can Better Receive and Give Love
This is for anyone who has conflicts with someone they care about who wants to figure out ways to get out of those conflicts fast and productively. It’s about our emotional baggage – specifically the unmet needs from our childhood, and how those block us from being able to see and receive the love from people in our life currently. I will focus on how to get out of conflicts and pain and move into happiness and get more of what you want. How to better love others and better encourage love back. It’s a set of tools to stay out of blaming and resenting and let go of what you think they should do. So that you can empower yourself to get to more of what you DO want – which is shared affection and happiness. Hi friends! I’ve been away for a bit because I got hitched! It was awesome and wonderful. And now I’m back! I will do the usual 3 parts: The What, The Why, The How – the tools. And to be clear – this is about all relationships that involve conflicts between the needs of others and your own. About relationships that involve needs of others and your own – and when those don’t match up. For more check out Smile peeps! xo This one’s for Lara from Spain – thanks for writing me girl! :)
May 31, 2015
Episode 52: How to Stop Negative Thoughts
This episode is about noticing negative thought patterns when they’re happening. What are negative thoughts? Bad habits. They’re not You – they’re the voice of a bad computer framework operating through you being fed by a chemical addition. You are now used to the chemical results of this thinking, so your brain wants to repeat it. They are the trained in ways of being – basically muscle memory but in your brain. So based on old experiences, just like a river wants to flow down the lowest path, so do your thoughts follow existing trained in currents. The more often you have these thoughts – the stronger the habit becomes. In other words, you have trained in the path of the river with repetition. As a result of that – you now perceive and look for this thought habit in your everyday life – like if you’re thinking of mean people who hate you, you will see mean people who hate you. Because it’s your mindset now. Plus, now that you are looking for this thing, you find it – so negative thinking becomes self-fulfilling. What is most important about all of this: it’s all totally unconscious. The fact that they’re unconscious is also the key to stopping these thoughts! This episode is broken up into three parts. What. Why. How aka Tools. For the blog version, check out later this week. It also has my book references for anyone who wants to read further. Smile friends! xox For more of the Buddhist psychological types – check out “The Chemistry of Joy” – linked here:
May 10, 2015
Episode 50: How To Break Away From A Narcissist Relationship
This is for a person who filled out my survey – I don’t know your name, but this is for you! I hope it helps. You asked how to break out of the vicious cycle of a narcissistic relationship. Because it can be extremely terrifying and painful and feel much like a hostage situation. The reason is that if you are in a relationship with a narcissist – you know how ruthless and dark their punishing can be. It also goes deep into your heart strings, puppeting you around like a raw nerve. In other words – they are master controllers and know exactly what to do to make you do what they want. And also they are WILLING to do it, at all costs. This episode is 3 parts – the what, they why, the tools. I will also provide a download for you on my site in case you are in a bad place and need to get a map out of this. For more check out and enter the headspace contest to win a year of free meditation!! Smile lovely friends - and look for the blog version of this post in the next week on Teaspoon.
May 04, 2015
Episode 51: We Are The Slashies - 5 Ways to Grow as a Working Creative
What is a slashie? A creative person who knows that their day job isn't their real job: a busboy/actor; waitress/screenwriter/photographer; singer/production designer/legal secretary. Your slash is your professional makeup. In other words, most of us - if we are honest with ourselves. Because a creative thinker is many things, today if you are a slashie you are forging a new path in a wide open sea of opportunity, but you likely haven’t solved for that single, money-making passion just yet. But that’s a good thing – unlike how it might feel to a slashie – this stage is part of the process. Slashies are a growing percentage of the workforce because careers nowadays don’t have “work experience.” A creator can build a new app/community/business overnight and because of that, new job definitions are being invented every day. Thanks to equal opportunity of the internet, it’s like a claim-jumper era for creatives with a desire to build something new. It can be hard to choose a new career or even entertain the idea because if you are an adult, you want to be stable and have security. Because, hey - when you're a grownup, that’s what you are supposed to do. Thankfully nowadays there are all sorts of new avenues for creative thinkers to pursue professional careers based on their particular aesthetic and passions. So that’s what this is about. Five ways to better pursue your creative passions and figure out what can take your slashes to a more convenient or purpose-driven definition – for you as a creative voice with one lifetime on this earth. References: For the instagram marketing webinar head to: For B-school head to For General Assembly, head to To find my reading list, head to:
May 04, 2015
Episode 49: Emotional Eating: How to Tackle Negative Soothing Habits Tied to Food
Emotional Eating in this episode translates as negative soothing habits around food that relate to specific emotional states. So, depending on your dynamic, that could mean binging, constant eating in an unconscious state, or feelings of powerlessness with a complete lack of control that feels similar to being possessed or out of body. If you’re not an emotional eater, if you have pretty much any negative emotional-soothing habits, you will likely get something out of this podcast. It’s about how we have grown patterns of soothing – and also a few tools for objectively tackling them at the root. Food is often a metaphor for how we deal with fear. And pain. We either soothe we run we lash out we deny. In Buddhism, they call these psychological types out as the grasping/fear type, the rejecting/anger type, or the denial/adrift type. So depending on your type, you will react to stress in a predictable set of ways if you have grown used to coping with specific bad habits. For example – with food. There are 3 parts to this episode: What, Why, plus 3 Tools that work for me – that can give you a starting point. I will post the blog version on later this week with my reading references. And if you haven’t already –check out the contest to win a year of meditation! Headspace y’all. It’s the ish. Head here to enter that little gem: And smile! Xox Sarah-May
Apr 24, 2015
Manufacturing the Capacity for Happiness
This is a little power-up episode about creating more joy-filled and memorable moments in your life. Happiness is a thought-habit that for many of us, requires constant maintenance and deliberate focus. Though there are many reasons to feel grateful for our life – they’re all around us all the time - in order to be capable of feeling that value, we need contrast. Contrast meaning the complimentary opposite of gratitude and appreciation: pain or difficult striving. In other words, a constant state of awareness of value (happiness) often arrives from a true understanding of its absence (pain). Without that contrast, it’s easy for life to get stuck in a middle array of emotions – a permanent state of “so-so” or “okay.” When you live in this state for long enough, powerful emotions like gratitude and happiness are assigned to a set of general milestones (birthdays, weddings, getting a promotion etc) but outside of that it can be frustrating to find a true sense of joy. The real kind – that moves you to tears, or sticks in your memory for the rest of your life. So that kind of joy is what I want to talk about. You have the power to create that range in your life, minus the negative contrast. It’s a super power you are likely unaware of until you actually put it to use: but when you approach life in this way, you are also expanding your capacity to feel love, gratitude and happiness. So if you’re interested in having more of those real joyful moments, this is a podcast for you. And if you want to read the blog version of this I will post it shortly on Smile lovely friends! xox
Apr 15, 2015
Episode 48: Busyness Junkies: Breaking the Habit of Stress and Over-Scheduling
This is about the value of stepping back from your preoccupations to do more nothing. Busyness is a cultural habit that is also an addiction. Physiologically as well as on a level of personal identity. Are you one of those people who is sooo busy and you can’t tell where the time is going? When you see someone and they ask how you are – do you find yourself inclined to say, “I am soooo busy.” It’s a state we can all relate to. It’s also often a boast hidden in a complaint. Culturally we have all agreed to take on this state of life – thanks to texting and smart phones and email and social media. They are making you mentally connected to all people and obligations and stores and humans simultaneously. Hence- the empty private time with yourself, alone is gone! The biggest downside of the busyness pattern is you trade your life, day by day, to this insecurity. It can happen without you noticing, quite simply because your not present. You are caught up in your busy thoughts. So that’s what today’s podcast is about: slowing down – and stopping. Literally, I am going to promote the idea of doing nothing. Nothing but being. Hanging out. Nothing on your agenda. No one to respond to – nothing to pick up, attend, return. When was the last time you sat in an extended amount of time – like that? The episode has three parts. Part 1: Why aim to do nothing. Part 2: Self-Diagnosis. Part 3: 3 Tools to help you free up your time. And to download the Journal Exercises mentioned in the episode head here: AND if from April-June 2015, if you haven’t yet, please enter the Headspace contest to win a year awesome mind-soothing meditations! This episode is dedicated to Irene May Bates - my grandmother and one of my heroes. She makes the most valuable moments in your day.
Apr 14, 2015
Episode 47: What to Look For in a Therapist
Hi friends, This is my personal list of what to look for when choosing a therapist, plus a few basic tactics to attack the task. Take what helps and leave the rest! It’s an amazing and important gift to give yourself and it’s more worth it than anything you will spend money on for the rest of your life – quite simply, because it will change your life – everything about it and everyone in it – for the better. I send you my love and positivity – and if you have time, please please leave me a review on iTunes – it’s super important to me and I love to read them. And if you haven’t already, please enter the contest to win a year of Headspace! If you are listening to this in the months of April to June 2015. Enter here: For the blog version check out later this week! xo!
Apr 04, 2015
Nego-Habit Shift: Make One Small Change to Make a Massive Difference
Hi peeps! This is a power-up episode to create one small positive change in yourself starting today. I want you to look at one thing in your life that you can and will change for the better. Because it's all about upkeep and the trajectory as a whole. What can you do today that will take no effort at all? Let's tackle that together - because you would be amazed at how easy change is when you don't feel the affects one tiny bit. It's spring, y'all! Let's do some soul cleaning! For more of my writing and to sponsor me head to I heart you all! Smile! xo Sarah-May B.
Apr 04, 2015
Episode 46: Going Nowhere: Stuck in a Bad Relationship
This is for anyone who is currently romantically involved with someone who is not treating you well and you are taking it, and it hurts. You know it’s not right but you can’t seem to leave it for some reason. This situation betrays your foundational values, and in staying in it, you betray yourself and what’s important to you. What do you want for your future? Because you get to decide what’s important to you. That’s what this episode is about. Are you tolerating and accepting less than what you want from another? Are you giving more and receiving less? Are you operating on less than a trustworthy bond? Are you dating someone who won’t commit to you or maybe they don’t want the same things you want but you’re still hanging around “just because you don’t have anything better at the moment.” Maybe you are in a committed relationship but you want more – you want better – you want this to go to the next stage: moving in, getting married, or just better treatment – but this person is “complicated” and it’s not how they roll. Maybe you break up occasionally but always end up getting back together. Maybe they decide they need a break and then they come back again as soon as you become too visibly independent. In case you are wondering, yes, this is for every gender and all kinds of relationships because it’s a topic that relates to your relationship with yourself. It doesn’t have to be a guy doing this to a girl – everyone can be squirrely and everyone can want and expect a real relationship from a person they choose to share their life and soul with. It’s all a valid and realistic dream and goal to have. And it’s something you choose for yourself. It’s a common situation to be in for an adult. You end up in a relationship that’s not aligned with what you want for yourself and you can’t figure out an exit and you just kind of get stuck. What I am going to do is hopefully enlighten you as to why you’re there and what needs to change for you to confront the change that needs to happen for you to get to where you’re meant to be. Where are you meant to be? In a mutually loving and supportive relationship based on the terms and values that you choose for yourself. So, with someone who deserves your love. So let’s go there together, shall we? Emma this one is written for you. I hope it changes the way you see things so that you can change what it is that has you stuck, presently. xo! For more of my writing head to To check out the Personal Priorities Pond I mention in the episode, head here:
Mar 30, 2015
Personal Happy Place: For When You're Stuck in a Place in Life You Don't Want to Be
Hi loves, this is to use anytime this week or this month – it’s a little tool for regaining control of the wheel of your person, in the face of enduring places, people or situations that are not to your liking. It’s called “Happy Place.” The situation, though it sucks and tests your tolerance and ability to pursue what you want despite this situation – is NOT helped by your succumbing to focusing on the pain and unhappiness. Anger is toxic to your body so you are not only hurting your physical health, you are actively causing yourself MORE agony by focusing on it while it’s happening. Often we have an unconscious habit of savoring the sheer magnitude of annoyances in our life and relishing our increased stress or fatigue or the level of idiocy around ourselves. That unconscious savoring is your worst enemy. Is taking time to acknowledge what it is you don’t like and you might not even notice you’re celebrating it again and again because it’s a habit. So now’s the podcast power up to make note of it! The stupid-crap-from-my-day-celebrations stop today! This week! Yay for today! For more of my writing- including my newsletter, head to
Mar 23, 2015
Episode 45: What's the Work in Self-Work - Sizing Up the Personal Growth Ahead
What is self work? It’s acknowledging something in yourself that needs to be addressed for the sake of growing. It’s what you decide to do when you look at your life and decide you’re not so stoked to be where you are. It’s a moment of clarity – or fed-up-ness with the conditions of yourself and your inability to do anything about them – maybe you’ve been stuck in a pattern you want to break, or you looked up one day and realized you aren’t where you thought you’d be and time is flying by. Most importantly, self-work is the beginning of your life in many ways. It’s the moment you become aware that you have the power to create the self you want to be, in every shape and form – and because that is such an epic and wonderful thing – you make the decision to act on that information by taking steps in an educated direction toward doing that work. And what a profoundly exciting move that is. In my opinion, it’s the best decision you could ever make in your life. I gotta admit, this post made me a bit choked up. I hope you enjoy it – and if you did, please visit my new profile! If you like this content, please support it – any amount counts. Sending you my love and lots and lots of positivity. xox Smile my lovely friends! Xox Sarah-May B. To sponsor this podcast, you can visit: If you have a moment, please take this survey - it will help me help you, better – which is what I dream to do! Thanks in advance! xoxo And, I hope you dig my new Podcast theme - it's by Booker Hill Music, right here on Soundcloud! Check 'em out!
Mar 16, 2015
Episode 44: Personal Priorities Pond - A Self-Esteem Building Exercise
Personal Lily-pads: A Self-Esteem Building Exercise Around Priorities Hi peeps, this is an exercise for you to use to improve your personal alignment with your priorities and simultaneously boost self-esteem. It’s actually a process used to heal in any injury in the body – you strengthen the muscles around the area that has been injured in order to give it the time and support to heal. For example, when you hurt your shoulder, you might be told by doctors to strengthen the muscles around it. The same goes for your personality. The more of yourself that you dedicate to diverse passions and strengths, the stronger you become and the more confident you feel. It’s also how you can heal yourself the most quickly. When it comes to a painful loss of a part of your definitions of self, your other passions and roles can grow bigger and help support you in the place of what is gone. So if you are looking to become more stable and confident, this is a self-esteem building exercise for you – and I HIGHLY recommend you do it in a journal. It’s a process that applies to everyone and it has to do with the various skills and passions and practices that identify you to you. For more of my writing head to xo!
Mar 13, 2015
Episode 43: Parents Just Don’t Understand: for the pain caused by parents who didn’t do their job
Your relationship with your parents can be attached to a lot of big feelings of hurt or anger because it’s such a major relationship in your life! Your parents! So if you are struggling with your relationship to them it can be emotionally overwhelming to say the least. So this is a podcast for when you end up getting hurt by your parents so you cut them out of your life in some degree to protect yourself. Maybe you hide things from them because you know they won’t be able to understand, or you try desperately to get their approval and they never give it no matter what. OR maybe you try to keep a balance but always getting burned in the end by something thoughtless they do to you. Or maybe you’ve cut them out of your life altogether because it’s just too painful. So if any of this sounds familiar, this is a podcast for you. Because this is one of the most relevant relationships of your life, it can have a really powerful affect on your emotions and your understanding of your very self. This one’s for Ken – thanks for the suggestion! This is a big topic and is sure to reach a lot of people – thank you!! For more of my writing head to and check out the blog for the written version of this podcast. I send you my love and if you have any requests, by all means send me an email! Smile y’all! Xoxoo Sarah May B.
Mar 06, 2015
Episode 42: Prison of Thoughts-Recognizing the Ego That Has Blocked You from Happiness
Okay, yes, this is a melodramatic title but it’s because this is a big deal and it’s causing millions of people to suffer from a whole slew of different side effects. Maybe you’ve felt it – anxiety, worry, a lack of focus. You feel hollow and nothing seems to quench it. You get a little retail therapy because you’re kind of just “meh” about life, just unfulfilled. It’s a modern condition that robs many across the globe of their happiness, inner peace, and keeps them trapped in helpless inaction. What I am explaining is a false identity of “self” that manifests from the dominance of our thoughts. Thoughts that appear to us as the voice of our soul – that dictate how we are feeling, what we want, what we need, what we’re worried about – what we should be doing. And often, all at once. Our thoughts often won’t shut up regardless of how hard we try to soothe and distract. They also mislead us into thinking we can find happiness and relief if we just follow their orders. But this is what this episode is about. The condition is the thoughts have staged a coo. Contrary to how it might feel, thoughts are not You. Think of them right now as they are passing through your mind. They narrate in your voice. They chatter of needs, they report feelings – but these thoughts are not “YOU.” Who are you then? You are the one observing your thoughts. You are a being – you are Awareness. Whichever term appeals to you more. One perceiving the physical through the use of this body. And at one point in your life – probably so far back that you can’t remember it, you had no thoughts like this. You had no constant inner monologue. You were probably around 7 years old, sitting in a classroom – bored, but your mind was completely silent. No narration. Just you, there, totally present, and observing. So if you suffer from this condition, I am going to describe how it works, in my laymen’s words in the hopes that you will be able to understand it and then perceive it. The tools to help it? The tool is just this podcast. It’s aim is to remind you that you are Awareness. That’s all. How to get outside of this prison. This is for you, Christina! Hope you like it!! xox Smile y'all! For more of my writing head to http://www, I will post the blog version of this later this week. If you want to do your own reading, this information is all straight out of two books, "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle and "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" by Dr. Joe Dispenza
Feb 23, 2015
Episode 41: What Do They Think: How to Stop Obsessing About Other People’s Thoughts
Has it ever happened to you – that you do something nice for someone else and they don’t respond and so part of you is worried they didn’t like it, but then you start to get mad, because you are thinking – they should have appreciated that gesture! And how could they?! So uncaring. Wow – they are really a jerk, after all. Or, maybe there’s someone in your workplace who gave you a dirty look – and you can’t figure out why, did they hear something? Do they really just dislike you? And if so, why? You didn’t do anything to them. Maybe you try to be nice and they don’t acknowledge you at all and now you just feel uncomfortable. The tension makes you feel nervous and distracted because you are nice! AND didn’t do anything wrong! If this sounds like you and you do everything in your power to talk yourself out of it, but still can’t seem to soothe the obsessive thoughts of everything from worry to hate to insecurity and self-doubt, then this is a podcast for you! It’s got some information about why this happens plus some methods to soothe the obsession. And most importantly, how to curb your need for validation from other people when it’s hurting you to do so. For more of my writing, check out Smile lovely friends!!! And if you like this, please show me some love! It helps me a lot a lot! xox Sarah May B. (This one's for you - Ambika! Hope it helps xox)
Feb 21, 2015
Episode 40: Personal Goal Misalignment - When You're Not Getting the Results You Want
This is an episode about aligning your actions to your true wants in life. I challenge you to ask yourself what are you allowing to happen in your life that’s not aligned with what you want. This is for anyone who’s been wanting something in a certain area of life – maybe it’s love, career or health, and you’re just not getting what it is you want. A lot of the time you don’t get the things you want because you are unknowingly acting against yourself. Because sometimes we have unconscious actions that are the true reason for us not seeing the results we want. In this episode I will cover a few simple tools on the three categories. For all of them, the solution begins with taking a personal inventory of your behavior: literally, begin to observe yourself and your habits everyday by creating a behavior log. What you’re looking to record: any and all habits and actions around the pursuit of your goal. Because the real misalignment will show up in those details. It might surprise you to see yourself from an objective standpoint, because most of the time misaligned behavior is totally unconscious. We have no idea how we are blocking ourselves – and sometimes it’s a form of self-sabotage. Like a strange unconscious fear of the thing we truly want. For example, when you are looking for a real relationship but you are biding your time with the flings you know are not the ones you want. You THINK you are desperately seeking love when you are in REALITY staying comfortable with the ones you don’t feel threatened by: the easy and available. Your actions? NOT ALIGNED. So to help you become more aware of the accidental misalignments in your actions and goals I will go over three topics in detail: Love, Career, and Health. The tools are very simple and the core of them? Just awareness and focus. For more of my writing check out – and smile my lovelies! Xo Sarah May B.
Feb 17, 2015
Struggling to Keep Up the Work When You Haven't Seen Results
This is for anyone who is at the stage of personal growth where you haven't seen the change yet and you’re struggling with doubts about whether or not you should keep going at all. Maybe the positive affects are not obvious and therefore you don't have enough momentum to sustain your focus at the same level – so some part of you is suggesting you give up and accept that you are different than those who succeed. Maybe you're relying (barely) on sheer faith and your own will but doubts are sneaking in. This is an inspirational power-up from the sidelines from someone who can see where you are on the hill. Yes, it’s the toughest part – but this will hopefully help you keep going! Don’t stop now!!! You’re almost there! For more of my writing check out and smile lovely friends! This is for a friend on Soundcloud – you know who you are – and thanks for your inspiring note! xo Sarah-May B.
Feb 16, 2015
Feeling Isolated When You're Working Hard to Make Positive Change
This is a power-up episode for when you’re in the process of personal change and you suffer the feeling of isolation that happens when you’re not like everyone else. Your goals are more absolute and because you’re training in a new habit – you have to stay strongly committed to them so that they really stick. It’s this part of creating new change that takes priority over other social pleasantries like parties. And when you’re the only one who’s trying to confront issues, it can be lonely when everyone else seems to be numbing them and moving in the opposite direction. This is a power up episode to help you stay the course and remind yourself you started this path because it’s a worthy one. Now’s the time to keep going. This is inspired by my new friend on Soundcloud (you know who you are). For more of my writing head to And if you like this please, please review me or follow me on Soundcloud! And I love comments and letters and reviews. Xox Smile friends!
Feb 16, 2015
Episode 39: Finding a State of Inner Balance-Tools for Strength-Building
This is sort of a follow up to the “emotionally raw” episode – and it’s for Emily – I hope you like it! Because in a more pervasive sense you are in a stage of reintegrating your knowledge of life, yourself, and also healing from trauma, while growing into fortified new and improved version of your self. So if you are reeling from a recent discovery or the life you planned fell apart- this is for you. It’s a framework I would like to present to you in the hopes that it gives you a point to focus on as you move through this time. Because – yes, this time is painful, but it’s also a time of growth. You’re growing right now whether you know it or not. So this is my way of saying, “Hey! Look over here! Grow in this direction!” I know this time is sad and painful, but consider that this is all part of the path. It leads you to a better place that you’re meant to be in, that you would not have reached otherwise. Because of a breaking down of structures in your life, a big window just opened and there's a wonderful opportunity sitting there. What is it? A permanent approach to life that comes from a very rare and valuable perspective. Think of it as a new program that you can upload into your brain that gifts you relief from all self inflicted pain that results from the desire to predict and control. That means living with an innate understanding of the difference between what is, and is not within your control. It’s also an innate grasp on what it means to be you – as your true and best you, a person who remains on stable ground at all times. This program you are going to upload? Let's just call it your inner balance. For more, head to and don't forget to smile! xo
Feb 11, 2015
Episode 38: Emotionally Raw and in a State of Pain
This is for states of emotional pain - when you are trying to make it through the day-to-day in environments that don't make you feel safe. It's for anyone who has had something take the wind out of them lately and maybe you’re hurting pretty bad, and you feel very fragile as it is – and yet you’re out in the world in places that make you feel even more vulnerable. Maybe you’re working on healing but when you are exposed or raw in particular kinds of environments – it makes it really really hard to keep your head up and your eyes from twinkling. The super deep gut pain that makes you want to curl up in a ball in bed. This is for you – to hopefully ground you in those moments. When you are raw you will feel only completely aware of your vulnerability in the world – how fragile you feel emotionally, plus the deep bruise of whatever you have recently gone through. In short –this is a tough spot to be in. It can induce waves of gut-wrenching agony, causing you to wish there was an invisibility cloak. I will go through 1. Where you are: some perspective from outside of your pain to hopefully ground you. 2. What to expect moving forward 3. Some tools to use in the moment. I hope you likee and if you want to read more, check out xo! This is for you, Fran! Hope it helps and hang in there. xox
Feb 04, 2015
Brain Chatter Relief: A Daily Quieting Meditation
This is a short-ish mindfulness meditation for you to do while sitting just about anywhere. It's a manual-brain-shut-down button for anyone who has incessant, non-stop thoughts that never seem to quiet down. That's a sign that there has been some imbalance created in you brain based on your lifestyle. To remedy it, I recco starting a daily meditation practice. This is one of those meditations (if you like it, that is.) To listen to it, find somewhere you can be alone and uninterrupted for at least half an hour - somewhere you are comfortable. It's under 15 minutes and should be completed in one sitting. If you like it, let me know and I'll make more! For more of my writing you can head to Smile lovely friends! xox
Feb 04, 2015
Outsmarting Negative Thought Patterns
Hola Peeps, this is a little mental power up episode to help you manage persistent thought patterns. We all have moments we call out to ourselves via thought-instant-message, "You are now experiencing(fill in the blank familiar state of being)," despite our deliberate effort to change that state. It's that thought, in itself, that then creates our actual state moving forward. It’s often that semi-average, automated thought that we trust as legit - that tends to hold ultimate power over us. Thoughts like, "I'm tired." can alter the remainder of our thoughts for the rest of the day. Those automated thoughts also have the power to block us from mental stillness and calm. For example, even in the moment of attempting to quiet your mind, you might experience the thought, “I am having a hard time keeping my focus today.” That, too, is just a thought - and instead of taking it as gospel, we must instead observe it as just another automated mumble floating through our consciousness. So this is to hopefully help you separate from those mumbles so that you can dethrone them in favor of a happier you. For more check out I hope you have a fantastic week! xo
Feb 03, 2015
Episode 37: Training in a Positive Mindset
Hi friends, this is for anyone who perhaps considers themselves a positive person but still has a hard time maintaining a positive mindset. OR maybe you are working on becoming more positive and you’re not quite there yet. This is a great topic because we all need some form of maintenance – whether you were born with a smile or you have to work on it quite a bit. Stefanie asked for some exercises or tips to improve positivity – so I recommended my happiness journal, which for daily positivity reinforcement. If you want to get one, you can order on – and if you don’t want to purchase it, I am going to go over what it contains so you can do the same thing in any daily journal that suits you. Basically the gist of it is your mindset takes daily maintenance. It’s something that requires your attention on a daily basis. That doesn’t mean it has to be tedious – in fact, it’s quite the opposite. There are a select few people in the world who are born that way – that’s awesome for them, but for the rest of us – it’s something you decide to be and then you craft a daily practice that works for your life that you can do to maintain. This one's for Stefanie - thanks girl! xo
Jan 31, 2015
Episode 36: The Badges That Define You and Dictate Your Self-Worth
Hi my friends! Today’s podcast is about “badges” – or external factors that somehow take on supreme meaning in your life and dictate your self-worth – to you. Whether it’s a job, a number on the scale, a trophy or an expensive car – a badge can affect you so deeply that your whole world changes in the blink of an eye, almost like a hallucination. You might have experienced the results of wearing your badges when you’re either on a personal high or low – and the difference between the two worlds is vast and disorienting, despite how small the factors are when put in perspective. For example – let’s say you get an accolade at work: you feel like you’re a star, you’re so powerful and confident, you don’t need anyone! You don’t even need to call people back! You are that worth knowing, and everyone loves you. Maybe you more freely spend money because you’re going places! You look better in the mirror, you feel young, successful, sexy… “Man I impress everyone!” The flip side of that coin is pretty dark: when you feel you have failed at something or lack something meaningful. For example, maybe you met someone you liked and texted them, but never got a text back. Suddenly the same you will feel ugly, fat, clumsy, talentless, incapable, and perceive that everyone around you sees you as an imbecile. Suddenly this hallucination changes your interpretation of everything anyone says to you: you question whether or not your friends like you, whether or not you are smart, and even how you see your reflection. From this state of mind, you see your acne as horrendous! “How does anyone like me, at all?” And all of this happens in a split second: with one tiny bit of information, your view of yourself and your life - changes. That’s how powerful these external badges can be, and that is not how they should be. Because that is very unfair to you, to be owned by something so dumb – and it’s making you miss out on the real goods you might experience – you’re focusing on the wrong thing if you want to really understand and appreciate who you are. Which is great, and a gift of a person to know. So if you’re in a place where you feel bad about yourself based on an external definition – so much so that it has taken control of the opinion you hold about yourself– this is a podcast for you. Perhaps even listen to it twice, because if this is happening to you – this can be untrained just like any other bad habit. And you deserve for it to stop – cause you’re awesome! For the blog version, check out later this week, and as always, smile peeps!! xox Sarah-May B.
Jan 28, 2015
Episode 35: Justin Lyon on Yo Gabba Gabba, Inspiration and Success
This is an interview with the wonderful and talented Justin Lyon – entrepreneur and all-around happy person. His ventures include Yo Gabba Gabba, The Unique Camp, Photo Fieldtrip, LuLaRoe clothing and photographer for Amelia Lyon Photography. If you’re a creative person looking to make what you love in your life into your livelihood, this is for you. We cover topics like inspiration, confidence, pursuing your dreams, spending time with your fam, being an awesome dad, working with your spouse – plus some valuable new resources out there for creators of all kinds. For the blog version of this post and the links to all we discuss, visit later this week or check out A couple links to get you started:
Jan 19, 2015
Episode 34: Besties: Zooey Deschanel on Childhood Memories and What Makes a Friendship Last Forever
Today’s podcast is about what makes an awesome bestie so I’m interviewing my best friend of around 30 years – singer/songwriter/actress and all around wonderful girl – Zooey Deschanel. We discuss favorite childhood memories, fave dance moves, a few bestie hypotheticals, plus what qualities to look for in your own best friends! It’s basically a love fest about all our childhood memories so I hope you enjoy this one as much as I did! Xox Sarah May B. For more of my writing and the blog version of this interview, check out later this week!
Jan 11, 2015
Episode 33: Blindsided with a Broken-heart: When you lose something you thought you had forever.
When you go through a devastating experience like being left by someone you thought was “yours for life” it can be unearthing of everything in your world. Shaking what you want, how you feel about yourself and the future, what you feel safe with – who you feel safe with. Aside the expected affects, the pain, the mourning, this kind of experience can have some very strange effects – because when you’re taken by surprise by something like a relationship, it’s traumatic. You have been shocked. So I will hopefully tackle some of the common ones – so you can see that you’re not crazy, it’s all quite natural, as well as hopefully offer you a timeline for how you might feel. One you can follow along with – so that you can best care for yourself and allow yourself to heal and grow. If this was a long-term relationship – or even a short one but one you relied on in immense ways, the loss can make you feel you have nothing to stand on. In short, it can level you and remove all safety from your life. You might be going through worry over what will come of your life – will you remarry? Will you ever love again, trust again? Are you loveable? Am I too old, am I stupid to have trusted this person? Was I the only one who didn’t know – how didn’t I know? What’s wrong with me that I didn’t see this coming? How do I even move on with love? Woah. Yeah, that’s a lot. So slow down. It’s going to be okay. It’s time to put that aside. Now is not the time you should be thinking about the future. You should simply focus on loving and caring for yourself right now. Truly, how could you tackle planning anything other than addressing your immediate needs – you just experienced a traumatic event in your life and you are in a recovery/healing mode – that’s what you need to be aware of most. All you need to do right now is make yourself feel soothed and healthy and balanced. If you’re going through a total limbo of character and it’s freaking you out, I will go through a couple of common reactions that happen when one is put through a trauma such as yours. And yes, it’s a “trauma” which means your person is likely having a hard time integrating this new information back into your brain alongside the rest of your experiences. So in short, a big shift is happening. Don’t worry! It’s all for the good. I hope I can help you stay balanced throughout it – hang in there, friend - because I know an event like this can rock you to your core. If you want to read more of my writing on a variety of other topics – and to see the blog version of this podcast, visit: Smile y’all! Sending you my love… Sarah-May B. This is for Linda, I hope you like and hang in there girl!
Jan 06, 2015
Episode 32: Sticktoitivness: When You Want to Give Up is When it's Most Important to Keep Going
It’s that period of time when you’re not sure what to do – but nothing’s changing and you’re trying your hardest, and something better happen soon or else you just might give up. Whether you’re on a new health kick and not seeing dramatic results, or attempting to pursue a new career – often the most difficult to surmount is the master of disguise – the plateau. Oh, the old plateau will make life look pretty much the same for long enough that you start to get antsy. That you start to feel you might have already failed – or that change of course is needed – “I haven’t seen progress for quite a while - something must not be working – it must be me, why did I even think to try in the first place? This must not be right-“ or my favorite, “Silly me, I never had a chance of success in the first place…” It is this window of time – the plateau – I would argue, that is the most difficult challenge you will ever face. It’s not the last leg of the race that tricks you into stopping. It’s the time when literally the only piece of advice you need is “Keep going.” It’s this advice that’s the hardest to follow – especially when it comes to pursuits that are new – that require you go out on a limb and jump. If this is you, I am writing this to give you a much-needed push in the same direction. You must have a large gulp of Gatorade and listen to the sound of my voice – keep running. I know it’s not fun anymore, you don’t feel successful, but there was a very good reason you started this run – and now’s the time you’ve got to trust that and just keep running. Trust your own original instincts and power through. You’re on a plateau and the plateau ends – your path will eventually round a turn, and once it does, you will be able to see the finish line in the distance. Check out for the blog post version of this podcast in the next few days and if you like this, please follow me on Soundcloud or review me on iTunes. Happy new year lovely friends!!! xox Sarah-May B.
Jan 02, 2015
Episode 31: Self-Control: Why a lack of it isn’t your fault, plus a couple ways to improve it.
Self-Control: Why a lack of it isn’t your fault, plus 6 tools to improve it. If you find you have a lack of willpower to do what you know is best for you when it matters the most, this is a podcast for you. I will go into the reasons why as well as a few tools to help you make progress. The episode is divided into three parts: 1. The science behind low-willpower and its effects on your life. 2. General Causes of Low-Willpower. 3. Tools to Improve Your Lack of it, starting today. Willpower is a particular kind of energy to exert control. With low-willpower comes a whole lot of badness. It compromises your ability to follow rules, reduces your emotional control, increases anger, anxiety, how well you do at school, the amount of traffic accidents you have, how popular you are, how successful you are. Most relevant: it’s a finite reservoir – so if you’re using it throughout the day, you tap it out. And unfortunately you can’t tell when your willpower is depleted but it’s worn down throughout the day. So universally, you have the most of it in the morning. The energy for willpower is linked to your body’s natural energy supply. That’s why dieting is a catch-22. You need energy to have willpower. Not to mention: The more you diet, the more your body learns to resist dieting. That’s why the amount of self-control you have has a large effect on work and school, but a small effect on dieting. So if you suffer most from a lack of willpower when it comes to food, fill yourself up with healthy food so your body has fuel to supply willpower. And most importantly: use the strength you have to accomplish one task at a time. When you split your energy to two different habit changes, you are likely to fail. For example, dieters are less able to quit smoking. Can’t do two things at once. It’s a finite increment of energy inside of you at all times so if you are dealing with managing a lot of pain – let’s say you are stressed or in pain, emotionally, you will likely have a huge problem stopping yourself from snacking in front of the tv at night. Picture yourself swatting away flies all day long. At the end of the day you’re going to be exhausted and likely slow down, even giving up and allowing lots of them to land. When you’re depleted, you also become more aggressive. When you have more of this energy / glucose you become less aggressive. Hence road rage! Most importantly, if you suffer from low-willpower, don’t be mad at yourself – help yourself and support your own ability to do what you know is best for yourself! Xox Sarah May B. For more of my writing and the blog version of this posting, visit
Dec 22, 2014
Episode 30: Mourning and Dealing with the Pain of Loss
This is for anyone who is suffering the pain of loss. Loss of someone or something important in your life is one of the most difficult things you will ever have to deal with. And though it feels excruciating, it’s part of what makes your life rich – it is the other half of love. Right now you are likely struggling with what you want to believe is impossible. It feels so wrong – like such a violation of natural laws. Your brain and body also wants desperately to deny that this loss is true. That is the fear of the pain you will feel – you don’t want to look. Like you almost want to forget – to avoid confronting this truth. I must tell you that although the pain is almost unbearable, it will not kill you. You will move through it – just allow yourself to move through it a little bit at a time. Act as your own caregiver in the way you treat this managing of pain. I know it's a process that will feel like it's never ending but in reality it will be much shorter than you think, and every day it will get the tiniest bit easier. Just the tiniest bit. And one day you will once again be happy. Right now - all you can do is move through this time with grace: decide you are going to take it easy on yourself and soothe yourself in any and all ways you possibly can. The best tools I can give you are to manage the processing of the pain in small and manageable increments, so that you can remain as stable and healthy as possible. What I will (hopefully) give you: - A structure to abide for self-care. - A way to mourn so that you can continue to function and take care of yourself. This one's for Bo. I hope this helps you even a little bit! xox
Dec 17, 2014
Mini-Mindfulness Meditation
This is a very short guided meditation for supporting your overall level of calm and relaxation. I recco this or your own ritual if you have a high level of stress in your life or you can't seem to shut your brain off at night. Just do it first-thing in the morning or at lunch while you’re taking a walk. Anywhere really, as long as you can close your eyes and be uninterrupted for about ten minutes. If you want to learn more about why it’s important to get your mind to relax, check out the podcast on how to stop thinking so much. Hope you enjoy! xox Sarah May B. For more of my writing including the blog version of the over-thinking podcast, head over to:
Dec 13, 2014
Episode 29: How to Stop Thinking So Much - Tools for Chronic Overthinking
Does your brain start chattering and seemingly never stop? Do you feel distracted and unable to focus? This is for anyone who is trapped in chronic thinking. Like your brain won’t seem to shut up and it’s getting a bit noisy up there. I will cover the what, the why, and most importantly, the solution. There are about 10 different super silly tools to get you started. And apologies in advance - I also drop the F-bomb. (Just once!) This is for Cindy – and it’s a great topic. Thanks for suggesting this girl! Check out for the blog post with all my references and research -it will be live later this week. Smile peeps! xox Sarah-May B.
Dec 11, 2014
Episode 28: Regret: Relief from the Self-Inflicted Pain that Drives Us Mad
This is a podcast for relief from the self-inflicted pain called Regret. If you suffer from a chronic problem of regret – or you have a major life-defining regret, this is a podcast for you. The most important part is it’s not about what it’s about. It’s a ruse! I am going to try to logically dismantle if for you, because I do not have regret – ever. It’s not because I don’t mess up, it’s because there’s no such thing as an undo button and regret is a worse sin than the original mess up. It’s like burning something valuable and throwing opportunity in the trash. Quite simply? It’s really a bad habit – and it’s not about what it’s about. You are punishing yourself for having to learn a lesson the hard way. Why? You want to feel bad because you feel like it’s warranted: Like penance. It's a trained-in compulsion, your mind naturally assigns it. It has nothing to do with the thing you regret, itself. As your life exists only in the present. You are deciding (unconsciously of course) to relive the thing you dislike, that happened in the past. That is illogical: and most importantly - it is worsening something negative by wasting valuable energy and focus on it. Continuing to create waste! That is the real problem. It’s like building a bonfire in the center of your living room because you accidentally burned a hole in the couch. Often, source of your regret is totally unrelated. They are old residual feelings of low self worth. It's a go-to label for all resonant feelings of pain. You get that sinking feeling of pain that creeps over you, and you think, “what is this about? Oh yeah – I am sad because I ruined my interview..” when in reality, it’s from when you were in school and you got in trouble all the time. The feeling is really tied to, “I’m a bad kid.” Regardless of the source – it’s an automated reaction that must be deliberately undone. Starting now! Please join me!! Xox Sarah may B. This is for Angelica. Thank you for this awesome topic! I know it’s a big one. :)
Dec 04, 2014
When will my self-work start working? An emotional power-up when you’re discouraged and dwelling.
If you’re in the process of retraining your brain out of negative thought patterns, sometimes you can get discouraged – thinking it’s never going to work. That’s when you can get stuck dwelling in the fact that you are stuck in a negative mindset. What a vicious cycle! This is an emotional power-up for if you’re getting discouraged with the change you are trying to make in your own bad habits. Maybe you’re trying to train yourself to focus on happiness, to stop worrying, or to be simply calm and still. Whatever it is – this is to soothe that fear and get you back on track – which is where you are already, whether you can see it or not! I hope you like and if you want to read more of my writing or read my book, head to I send you my love and vibes of positivity! Smile peeps!! xox Sarah-May B.
Dec 03, 2014
Episode 27: Nine Tools to Build Successful Friendships
OR Building friendships worth growing for a lifetime. In this podcast I go over the three essential ingredients to good friendship so that you can train yourself to choose great ones. I also cover nine general rules for being a great friend to yourself and others – as well as ways to find friends that are perfect for you. So if you are looking to make new and better friendships that you can invest in for a lifetime, this is a podcast for you. This is for Catherine – (thanks girl!) She wrote, “Can you talk about what it means to be a good friend – and ways to practice that.” Catherine - I know your question was more general than the topic above. I chose to take this angle because I think it’s a good way to force yourself to choose better relationships, despite your conditioned-in blinders. Just like with anything else – a job, a marriage, or anything really, we bring our old rusty eyeballs into a relationship – and often we can’t tell how we are being blinded by those issues and experiences. Sometimes they can compromise our ability to choose the right people for the right reasons, or give and to receive the fruits of friendship. In other words, they get in the way of smart and self-loving decision-making. So I am going to present this to you in a way that hopefully will allow you to approach friendship from an intentional perspective so that you can build mutually beneficial and powerful friendships that bring value to your life and the others who are out there right now, in need of a friend like you. If you likee, check out the Teaspoon for more of my writing- as well as my books. And if you prefer to read, this will be posted as a blog later on this week. Smile peeps! xox Sarah May b.
Dec 02, 2014
Episode 26: Going Back Home for the Holiday - Tools for Managing Hurtful Family Dynamics
If you’re scared to go home this holiday because you’re worried that you’re going to have painful, triggering-situations with your family, this is a collection of tools for moving through the holiday with balance and grace. So whether or not you decide to skip it this year or move through the experience for the good of the future-you, it always helps to prepare yourself beforehand and have a couple tools ready in your emotional belt. I will cover a few general categories of painful family dynamics – so depending on your level of pain, choose the one that helps give you the healthiest amount of mental distance and support. If you want to read more, keep your eyes peeled for the blog version of this podcast on or Hello Giggles. Also, I will be adding a supportive happiness challenge to my newsletter for the holiday season so if you are in need of some extra positivity support, head to and subscribe! I send you my love peeps - xox Sarah May B.
Nov 25, 2014
Extra-Strength Lightening Bolt: For Prolonged Bad Moods and a Jolt Out of Negativity
Sometimes breaking through the pain of negativity takes an extra “jolt.” If you are on a path to becoming your best self, you might encounter – at random – moments in your life, or days or weeks even, that you lose touch with the brightness and joy that lives inside you. For whatever reason, you might become trapped in a mood or be overcome once again by your conditions. And often this dark cloud will feed itself – it will become more “true,” more weighty and real, and with your inability to find the salve, the more blind to the falsity of this mood, you become. This is when, once again, we are secretly removed of our power – by fear. Fear that “we will always be this way” and “how did I believe I could let this part of who I am go” and “the hope I felt was false after all.” It is during these moments that “extra-strength” meds come in handy. And by meds, I mean a profound “jolt” from outside of us: the affects of someone with a lightning bolt of truth that can reach you through that cloud – that lie that is your chemical fear – and “jolt” you out of that physical mood/moment and back into your awareness of joy. It’s like a hard-restart when the programs won’t stop running. If you have been stuck in a chronic dark-cloud of energy, this is a podcast power-up for you. For more of my writing and my toolkit book, check out Teaspoon of Happy! And if you like, please post a Testimonial on Teaspoon or review me on iTunes! Xox Sarah May B.
Nov 22, 2014
Episode 25: Vengeance of the Heart - When you've been burned and you're all-consumed
This is for anyone who has been burned and now they are struggling with the idea of revenge. Maybe you were in a relationship with someone and discovered were betraying you. Maybe you confronted the person and they acted aloof and then immediately moved on. This is so you can accept the truth of your situation. so that this never happens to you again. If you are reeling from a very recent realization – I know this is all a lot to take in so go easy on yourself and don’t do it all at once. The loss of someone you loved itself is painful. On top of that you are confused by the fact that they seem to care nothing about you or your feelings. That’s painful. It’s extremely confusing because you have feelings in all directions: they all don’t make sense. Because this is not how a person who loved you is meant to act. That is a key piece of information. THAT IS NOT HOW SOMEONE IS MEANT TO ACT. It’s not normal or average – this is not what your life and future are meant to be. If this is your situation, I send you my love and know that this time will pass! I will post a blog version of this episode along with some reading material so that you can further investigate your particular situation. Know that you will get through this. I send you my love and vibes of positivity, xoxox Sarah May B. This one is for Diane! Hope this helps and thank you for writing me!! Xo Links to the blog etc:
Nov 17, 2014
When You're Hating On Yourself and Feel Like a Loser *Contains Sparse Profanity
Warning - I say a couple bad words in this one! And it's cause the topic demands it. This is a little "confrontational" power-up for anyone who's hating on themselves and feeling like a loser. It's to help you stop the negative thoughts and focus on more positive and relevant thoughts - like what you want to do that makes you happy! I hope you likee and if you want more there's a bunch of tools on the links below: xox Sarah May b
Nov 13, 2014
A Visualization Exercise for Putting Painful Feelings Away
This is a guided visualization exercise for anyone who's suffering from a recent trauma or in mourning - or maybe you're just going through some tough stuff with your therapist. It's a guided visualization to help you put the painful feelings away when you need to go on with your day and function. Trust me - it works! I hope you likee and if you want more there's a bunch of tools on the links below: xox Sarah May b
Nov 13, 2014
Anger-Soothing Meditation: For When You're Stuck in Actively Painful Situations
Power Up: Soothing from Anger This is for anyone who is stuck in a moment of feeling pain and rage. Maybe you’re in the moment – someone has stung you, or you are feeling completely overwhelmed by the injustice or idiocy of the situation around you. I will tailor it to those who cannot leave that situation but if you can, take a walk while you listen. Even if it’s just going into the bathroom and sitting in the stall. I will include one breathing tool and one visualization exercise. For the blog version, check out Teaspoon of Happy in the next few days! Xox Sarah-May B. Links to other help:
Nov 13, 2014
Episode 24: The Smart Way to Quit with Entrepreneur and Fashionista, Jennifer Puno
An interview with Fashion-Forward Funny Chick/Starter-Upper/App-Developer/ Entrepreneur/Photographer/Pop-culture Icon/Friend to Girls/ One of the best-dressed gals I know, Jennifer Puno. We will be breaking down the process of quitting a job you don’t like in favor of pursuing your dreams. In this episode I get to interview one of my besties, Jennifer Puno, or as she’s known to most, “Puno.” She, along with her husband Daniel, has created the curated photographic map of cool and beautiful places across the globe, “Made with Map,” on Instagram. Aside from MAP, Puno has a million other awesome projects – “just cuz,” including a Startrek homage – with photos and gifs, shot on location in Iceland, with photographer friend, Ken Lin. The topic of today’s podcast is Path-Forging: basically, authoring your own life – fearlessly, but intelligently – including pragmatic steps to take if you’re in need of a total career-change. In my opinion, Puno took on this process in the best way possible: with data and spreadsheets to ensure she had the right back-up plan and savings mapped out while she figured out her next step. For those of us who find all numbers to be super hard, those spreadsheets, as well as an awesome dance party video will be available for free in the blog version of this interview on Teaspoon Of Happy. (Keep your eyes peeled in the next couple days.) I hope you enjoy! And smile peeps! Xox To download the future-planning spreadsheets, you can also visit the podcast page on Puno’s links:
Nov 09, 2014
Episode 23: Where to start the process of personal growth
It’s pretty easy to “never deal” with anything heavy, or anything that makes you feel vulnerable in life. You can always find a way to distract yourself, or hide from the tough stuff. Maybe you’ve been coasting through your emotional adult life and perhaps medicating any and all issues and scary feelings that might come up – or numbing them with drinks, tv, or constant distractions. Maybe you’ve never allowed yourself to become vulnerable to another person – you’ve kept it very superficial, and you just kind of “pass the time” in your life – but never venture past the top layer. It all feels fine until one day you suddenly “wake-up” and realize you don’t know who you are, what you want, or even whether or not you like yourself. Maybe something in your life comes to a head, like you finally meet someone you want to be in love with and that makes you totally clingy because you feel so reliant on their liking you, or maybe you’ve been through a break-up and you suddenly realize you feel shattered – like you have nothing, to you, solo. This window of clarity might force you to realize you’ve got some work to do on yourself so that you can actually figure out who you are and what you want. And with that work, grow to like that person, and be happy with who that is. If you’re staring at the vast ravine of what you don’t know quite yet – and realizing you’ve been asleep at the wheel of your life for years, I know looking at the amount of work you have to do can feel totally overwhelming. So if this sounds like where you are right now– this is a podcast for you. Firstly, know that you have been gifted with an amazing opportunity. Right now you get to choose who you want to be. Which is really awesome and shows that you have what it takes – already – to become who you want to become. That you even have this awareness about yourself is the key to the change itself. So what I am going to give you are some steps/tools to help you move through this time efficiently. There are 10 of them and if you want to read them, I will also post the blog version on so keep an eye out in the next couple days. Ready? Here we go! This is a blessing in disguise and you're about to enter the best time of your life!!! This is for you, Justin. Thanks dude for suggesting this to help others!! I hope this helps you, as well. xo! Sarah May B.
Nov 04, 2014
Episode 22: Create Awesomely - Movie-Monster-Maker Mark Shostrom on Letting Your Creative Soul Shine
This is a special Halloween podcast episode - an interview with one of my heroes, special effects and creature effects artist/ innovator, Mark Shostrom. He’s influenced so much of what you see today in all kinds of make-up and special effects in TV and film, with an incredible legacy of work. His resume includes 30 years of scary movies, everything from “Nightmare on Elm Street 2” to “Videodrome.” We talk about inspiration, creativity, and going for your dreams and not your obligations— not to mention, the best way to make an open flesh-wound for your Halloween costume this year. There are also a few super creepy Hollywood ghost stories about the Hart Building at Paramount studios. This is for all creators, makers and passionate thinkers out there. It’s a challenge to commit to your own bar of excellence and go for it. Decide to do whatever you do awesomely, and foster your voice as a creative thinker, because life is too short to do something you hate, or can simply tolerate. Plus, when you decide to follow your passions, what you leave in your wake is a legacy: something you are proud of that others will learn from for generations to come. *Warning: Includes some explicit language, gore and scary stories!
Oct 29, 2014
Episode 21: Undoing Negative Muscle Memory or When Your Body has a Mind of Its Own
When you suffer from habitual thinking that you don’t like – and you have a hard time undoing it, it’s because you’re trapped in a physically engrained system of thinking. What happens overtime is your brain gets trained into feeling certain emotions and you grow used to it. It becomes unconscious, just like when you have peeled an apple so many times, you don’t even think about it anymore. Or when you drive to work – you do it without having to think. The same happens with feeling certain emotions, even if they are unpleasant – they become unconscious and that is where you feel the most inclined to be. It grows to be your “normal” and therefore, it’s where you are comfortable. Despite when it’s an emotion that doesn’t feel good. I often talk about mental muscle-memory: you have habits of feeling certain things when you are in the corresponding environments and they repeat. Eventually, it’s just reality and “the issues you face in life.” So when you’re working on creating positive change it will feel uncomfortable, tedious or even scary because of this muscle memory. It feels insurmountable but it's not, in reality - it's just because you’re used to feeling bad and it’s now associated with “comfort” and safety. I will give you tools to overcome this habit so that you can "wake up" and decide who you want to be and what you want to do with your life. It's a revolution against old habits you don't want in your life! Join the resistance!!!!! And if you likee, please review me on iTunes!! Would make me very happy! For the blog version of this, check out - will be up in the next couple days.
Oct 27, 2014
Balance Meditation and Personal Awesomeness Visualization (Sans Music)
Hi friends, This is a quieter version of the "Emotional Soothing & Balancing Reflection Exercise" and it has no music beds, in case you get distracted by that kinda thing. It's for you to play while taking a walk around the block or sitting in a quiet place - to help you check-in with you and visualize just how awesome you are. For more on this topic, check out my blog and my book on If you want to listen to the music tracks separately, here are two links to my recommended playlist. :) miss piaf: mr. orbison:
Oct 22, 2014
Emotional Balancing & Soothing Reflection Exercise
This is a little power-up episode for balancing and soothing your emotional self and visualizing the present and the future for what it is: awesome. Your work on yourself is not for nothing. This is a podcast to acknowledge that. A lot of change and even a lack of change can feel scary and unsettling, but in reality, it's all good. So today I would like to offer you a simple reflection exercise so that you might gaze around your life, see beauty, feel gratitude, and embrace the wonderful change you are making around you. Also, this episode is scored with a couple "empowering tracks" compliments of my faves list on Youtube - links to both tracks are listed below! For more of my writing check out the latest on xox Smile lovely friends!! miss piaf: mr. orbison:
Oct 22, 2014
Episode 20: I Thought I Had it All Figured Out
It’s a pretty universal experience: you plan out your whole life, everything’s on track to be what you’d imagined it’d be, and then seemingly out of nowhere your whole life begins to unravel and your “perfect picture” falls apart. One moment you’re winning at the game of life: the career, the relationship, the paycheck, the “perfect future”… the next, you get fired, your partner dumps you, your bank account gets leveled – suddenly the path you saw before you evaporates and you feel like you have nothing at all. Losing your “staples” in life – those things that defined the way you spent your time – forces you to look at EVERYTHING differently. The people you hang out with, the restaurants you go to, your living situation as a whole down to the way you spend a Saturday night. Not to mention – the holidays are on their way and the thought of all of it, now solo, can make it feel overwhelming to say the least. If you’re suffering from shattered-future shellshock and are not sure what to do, and you’re in pain, this is for you. If you're in need of some weekly positivity, check out and subscribe to the Sunday newsletter. I'll also post a blog version of this on Teaspoon and Hello Giggles so if you prefer to read, keep your eyes peeled. Sending you my love and vibes of positivity, xox Sarah May B.
Oct 16, 2014
You are Spectacular
This is a power up episode for if you are stuck in your head and can't seem to shake a state of self-nego-talk and worry. If you're stuck on what is "supposed to be" and can't seem to focus on the truth - that you are a rare and one-of-a-kind miracle. This is a message for you so that you can remember you are singular. Meaning, you are spectacular and wonderful - just as you are and there will never be anyone with gifts and a voice just like yours. You are innately beautiful and brilliant if you allow yourself to just - be. Not to hurt and not to suffer- but to thrive, in happiness. If you want to read more, I will post this as a blog on my website as well. ( Hope you like and I send you my love! xox Sarah May B.
Oct 13, 2014
Episode 19: The Mind Body Connection
If you have been feeling anxious or depressed lately, unmotivated to do much, or maybe you’re just over-all bummed, there’s a good chance it’s not tied to anything negative about your life at all. What I mean is, often feeling bummed is simply a symptom of a blip in your happiness-chemicals. If you’ve been hunting through various factors in your life – searching for what could be a cause of your unhappiness, before you hunt any further, stop to give yourself an emotional tune-up. When the source of your problems is not apparent, it’s the first and most obvious place to look! Might be time to balance your chemical levels! I will help you take your emotions to the fastest, easiest mechanic – okay, enough of the puns… It’s important to medicate the physical body and not take every emotion at face value - so if you’ve been feeling a bit crummy lately and you’re not sure why, this is a podcast for you. Firstly – I’m gonna describe what you might be experiencing right now. Second – I’m gonna describe what might be hurting you: aka some typical causes. Third – I’m gonna give you some super simple tools to Turn That Ship Around. That’s my main mantra for getting myself out of a bad mood – I use it all the time and it works like a charm! I picture a little happy tugboat that sees a giant storm overhead and is like, “Whoo hoo! Let’s bust a U!” If you prefer to read, I will also post this in blog form on my site, I’m also going add an emotional tune up in this Sunday’s Teaspoon Newsletter, so subscribe if you want to get that, too. Don’t forget to smile peeps! And if you likee, please review me on iTunes! xo p.s. This episode was written for Moon - I hope it helps and thanks for the suggestion girl! xo!
Oct 06, 2014
I should be doing better
This is a power-up episode for anyone who’s suffering from the FOMO’s or what I like to call comparison self-hating. If you’re getting down on yourself about anything, take a listen for a quick jumpstart! Hope this helps! This is especially for you, Moon! Hope it helps xox Sarah-May B.
Sep 30, 2014
Episode 18: Learning How To Trust Again - Getting Over Bad Experiences
Often when you grow up with caregivers or relationships with people who are inconsistent, unstable, deceptive and unreliable, as a natural result you end up completing the other half of the Yin-Yang and it becomes inherent to your make-up as a person. You grow opposite and complimentary strengths – and those strengths actually reward you in lots of ways, not to mention, it feels good to be able to take care of others and make it happen. However – here’s the kicker – as a result, in the rest of your life, you unconsciously seek out others you can compliment in the exact same way, which means you often end up with partners and friends who are just as incapable or flawed. It’s not your fault, it’s just the dynamic you’re comfortable with. It’s also because that’s who is drawn to you: they crave what you can give and once they see you giving it, they cling to you. You also have a very specific form of trauma in that you expect and anticipate disappointing behavior from everyone in your life. Why wouldn't you? Based on your life experience, to trust is to place yourself in harm's way. Not to fear! This is not a damning situation in the least. You have the building blocks for something much greater than if you hadn’t had this upbringing at all. You can build the muscle to trust others and you can also build the muscle that will allow you to find trustworthy people. Your solution will take conscious and consistent work, but it’ll be simple and somewhat automatic, so don’t stress. It will unfold on its own, and it can start right now with 3 very conscious, deliberate steps. I’m going to introduce you to those steps right now. For more about me and to read more of my writing, check out If you likee please review me on iTunes! 'Twould help me a lot. xo Sarah May B.
Sep 28, 2014
Episode 17: Diet Fear - When Your Body Feels Like an Alien
This is for anyone who’s in a place in their life where you feel like your body is an unpredictable enemy, or maybe you're terrified of it or you're stuck in a vicious loop of dieting. Maybe your body is acting weird and you cannot tell what’s going on with it at all. My friend Leila is a guest host today because she and I both went to the same amazing MD/nutritionist and the basic education we got was so blow-my-mind amazing, we had to share it with you. It’s amazing how many misconceptions we had about food and the way your body relates to it. In short – this episode is about Nutrition and Metabolism 101 – cause of a lot of us don’t know about that stuff! I didn’t. The goal of the episode is to help you build holistic health. It’s about why it’s most important to come from health if you want to look great and you want your body to look great. If you want that – build it right. Otherwise you’re screwing the future-you out of a whole lot of happiness and also likely putting a whole lot of stress on your metabolism. Check out for the show notes with added info links! Link to the blog post is now here: Diet Fear
Sep 26, 2014
Episode 16: Why Don't They Like Me
If you’ve recently gotten dumped or you can’t fit in with the crowd you want to hang out with, this is a blog for you. Firstly, I am sorry you are here because it’s definitely painful and lonely – but know that this is not forever, it’s not because of anything being wrong with you, and it’s actually a gift in disguise.
Sep 20, 2014
Episode 15: Great Expectations - When People You Love Disappoint You
This is about when people you love disappoint you. If you're stuck in a loop of bad behavior and find yourself set up again and again, maybe even to the point that a confrontation has come about, this is a podcast for you. Whether it's a friend, family member, or significant other, the solution lies in setting your expectations to zero. Not in a bad way - in a realistic and self-loving, healthy way. When someone you love constantly disappoints you, what is really hurting you is your expectation not being met. If you want to keep this relationship, you’ve got to be able to accept both outcomes, and be okay with that. I know that’s easier said than done so I will cover the what, why and how in these types of relationships in hopes that you will better find a solution if you happen to be in a relationship like this.
Sep 12, 2014
Episode 14: Holistic Beauty - An Interview With Celeb Choreographer Sophie Olson
This is an episode for anyone looking to foster their inner beauty: that glow of light that only comes from the inside out, an interview with choreographer (and one of my fave girls) Sophie Olson. It’s a bit of inspiration juice for anyone working on building their self-love or working on body image issues, from a girl who’s contagiously passionate and extremely sweet. Sophie Olson has choreographed music videos for Zooey Deschanel and is the creator of the S.O.D.E. Mobile Dance program. Visit her at Topics include creative inspiration, body-image and motivation. I hope you enjoy!
Sep 08, 2014
Episode 13: Detaching with Love
This is for anyone stuck in a relationship that hurts them. There’s also a blog version on Hello Giggles and Teaspoon of Happy. Often people find themselves stuck in unhealthy relationships, anticipating negative behavior and growing sick inside with worry. Because so many of the unhealthy relationships are with people you would consider family, it’s extremely painful and confusing to get out of one. You will find yourself tortured with guilt, questioning and doubting your own motives. You might find yourself saying things like “But I have to!” rationalizing why it's easier to stay in it than try to leave. This is a relationship is felt much like a hostage situation would be: you have a proverbial gun held to your head by the implied impact of your actions. In other words: you’re damned if you do and damned if you don't, so for now you're trapped and can’t get out. If this sounds familiar, this episode is a toolkit for you.
Sep 04, 2014
Episode 12: The Good Fight: Tools for constructive fighting
The Good Fight is an episode for anyone suffering and stuck in fights they don't want to be in, whether it's with a friend, spouse or coworker. I know it can be rough on the soul, but fights give you the potential to grow closer to others. If you’re fighting, it means you’re both invested in the relationship. Even if things seem dire, don’t lose hope— sometimes all you need are the right tools to help you get there. x Sarah May B.
Aug 28, 2014
Episode 11: Looking For Love in All The Wrong Places
What is your "Achilles" type? Know that the bad choices you make are not your fault — it’s likely that you cannot see the patterns in your choices because it's encoded into your chemistry, based on your upbringing. It’s all part of your “love map” – basically the foundation for what you believe around love, commitment and relationships. This is an episode for anyone who has a track record of choosing bad relationships, whether it’s friends or love interests. I will go through the basics of bad relationship matches: how to spot them and why they are the way they are. I'll also offer you insight into what could be drawing you toward these types in the first place so that you can choose be intentional about looking for different types moving forward. Also, I have a special guest with me— the love of my life and my future hubby, Adam. Yay.
Aug 22, 2014
Episode 10: Commit to Happiness
This is to help you cure yourself of self-inflicted pain, the kind caused by a focus on what you believe is lacking in your life. Whether that suffering comes from worry, an obsession with weight, or a feeling that you need someone else in order to be happy, happiness comes from aligning your goals with your highest values. True happiness results from what is in your best interests, wholistically. Once you set the right goals, the recurring negative results fall away: things like self-bullying, worry and negativity. I invite you to take a listen and decide on a better set of goals - including a commitment to your happiness.
Aug 18, 2014
Episode 9: Shame Shame Shame
This episode is about things that cause us to feel ashamed and what those things have in common. It's about examining the roots of these acts so that you can let them go, move on with your life and live more happily. If there's anything that you don't want in your life, you can decide to change it today.
Aug 13, 2014
Everything's Alright Alright
This is a little emotional power-up for when you get stuck in all the "stuff" and clouded by thoughts. It's to help you refocus on what is great about today and how amazing it is to be alive. Don't forget to enjoy your life while you living it and look around once in a while!
Aug 12, 2014
It's Never Too Late
This is an emotional power-up for a dose of perspective and inspiration. It's for anyone who's afraid to make a big life change because they think it's too late or too hard at this point. There's no such thing as too late, because no one has lived your life but you.
Aug 02, 2014
Episode 6: The Dating Game
This is a dating toolkit for staying committed to what you want for yourself in a relationship. There are tools for overcoming extreme want, avoiding bad relationships, and building a path to meet "the one." Tools include several chapters from the "Help Me Be Me" book, including "The Love List" and "The Big Red Hat."
Jul 29, 2014
Episode 7: Self-Love from Scratch
The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you have in the world. This episode features a recipe for creating more self-love and confidence so that you can live a happier and more fulfilling life. There are ten different tools, a few of which are from the "Help Me Be Me" book. Invest in your relationship with yourself and you will better the lives of everyone you touch.
Jul 29, 2014
Episode 5: Letting Go
Letting go of someone or something you love can be a terrifying proposition. This episode offers a small beacon of hope if you are confronting a painful loss.
Jul 25, 2014
Episode 4: Stuckness
A dose of perspective to help with a case of stuckness: those times in life when you can't seem to get any traction and it seems like the universe isn't listening. This episode also includes tools to help you direct your energy and focus.
Jul 24, 2014
Episode 3: Frenemies
Friendships should always bring out the best in both parties. If you find yourself feeling stung by a friend, you might want to take a listen. This is about "the why" behind frenemies, with tools to help you take steps a positive direction.
Jul 18, 2014
Help Me Be Me: A Case of Malaise
A power-up for when you get stuck with malaise and need help to jumpstart your positivity. All it takes is a shift in perspective and you can change your mood, right now.
Jul 07, 2014
Stop Self-Doubt
Smile and knock that bad mood out of your way! Sometimes all it takes is a little shift in perspective and your whole day can do a complete 180.
Jul 07, 2014
Don't Be Discouraged!
An emotional power-up for when you are feeling down about unmet goals and need help getting un-stuck.
Jul 07, 2014
HelpMeBeMe: All worry is wasted
This is a little power-up to help you if you are stuck in worry. xox
Jun 21, 2014
Episode 8: Walking the Inspired Path
This is a toolkit for staying inspired on a path that is forged by you alone. Whether you're working on a creative project that tests your confidence or you're trying to make a passion project a success, these are 11 tips for staying committed to goals when the going gets tough.
Jun 05, 2014
Episode 2: Fat Thoughts
Dispelling the causes of food issues so that they can be effectively uprooted. If you suffer from issues with dieting, your problem is likely not in the place you're looking.
May 19, 2014
Episode 1: "The Why"
This is a self-help podcast for people who don't like self-help. It's about unlocking the problems that plague you so that you may be free. All of the things you believe to be insurmountable are false. It's a story your brain tells you based on your life experiences. Anything you think you can't overcome, I believe 100% without a doubt that you can. You just need the right tools to help you. Smile. You are already on your way. Music intro/outro by the fantastic Jeremy C. Simon!
Apr 19, 2014