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A Few Words with Aunty Deb Ballangarry
Debbie Ballangarry is a proud Indigenous Australian woman, whom is currently studying LINGUISTICS. We bumped into each other across a crowded TikTok recently (where she posts loads of educational information and supports Indigenous Artists, performers, activists and Creators). You could say we hit it off.
You can hear her smiling when she speaks. Our chat covers a lot including the bad old days of segregation and The White Australia Policy. We also discuss was like for her to grow up Indigenous in the 70s & 80s and yet, still share our commonalities as 'Aussies'. As an older woman and a feminist I was particularly interested in talking about being an Elder. In her culture, Elders are respected and revered. In so called Civilised 'western' culture, Elders are often pushed aside and mistreated.
Aunty Deb, is a tenacious and witty human being - we had a grand chinwag. Oh and added bonus: I ogt to learn a couple of Aboriginal words!
LINKS: My Patreon
SunnM'cheaux Harvard Language professor & activist
Music: This episode's Background Music is my original release. See the clip here.
|Mar 09, 2022|
PREVIEW OF WHAT‘S TO COME!
HELLO MY LOVES,
No new podcast this week, but PLEASE have a listen to this quick little bite-sized preview, I have a few little tidbits of EXCITING NEWS to share. NO SPOILERS. However, there are, as always - LINKS:
Sex Toys for the Holidays? (use the code word 'eloquent' for a discount!)
WATCH my previous interviewee, Phoebe ("I grew up in a Cult") Dorin interview me. It was recorded back in June of last year but was just released this week!
*voting for the Australian Podcast Awards has closed.
STOP PRESS: Update: January 13. Guess who's got Covid? Yep. Pod will remain in hiatus till Feb.
|Nov 20, 2021|
Boundaries & Synchronicity with ”The Consent Wizard”
Meet Mia Shachter - AKA "THE CONSENT WIZARD" They are, among other things, a consent and boundaries coach. Visit the SHARE THE LOAD website for more information as well as a fabulous list of courses you can partake in to help you navigate your personal boundaries and expand your ideas around consent.
I particularly wanted to talk boundaries in this ep. As someone living with childhood trauma anxiety and abandonment issues, I definitely over burden myself in many ways. And that's where we started. Where we ended up is a beautiful free fall into the concepts of fate, destiny, linear time, object reality and that magical feeling when you find yourself smack dab in the middle of a moment that you felt you'd been preparing for your whole life.
LINKS: Mentioned in this podcast "Betty and Sarah" also known as fab consent experts whom I have interviewed previously: Betty, the author of The Wheel of Consent and Sarah the creator of the Comprehensive Consent resource for parents and educators.
NIKKI DARLING - click this special link for 5% discount on a vast array of genderless sex toys. Mention the name "Eloquent" at the check out.
|Oct 18, 2021|
COUGARTOWN, Chat with Patsy Menuti (2/2)
The Madonna/Whore Diaries - a series of interviews.
We pick up where we left off, tallking about how women's body image changes as we get older and delve into the deeper truths about our search for sexual adventure. Obviously the topic of how much porn has influenced the way younger men behave in bead, rears it's ugly head. One thing's for sure, the older you get, the more valuable it is to retain a sense of humour! There were so many interesting rabbit holes to go down with this fun chat and we definitely went there. Visit Patsy's HELLA COUGAR various websites here: WEBSITE, TIKTOK and INSTAGRAM. She'll make you smile!
Visit NIKKI DARLING For a vast array of genderless Sexual Pleasure Items - USE THE CODE: "ELOQUENT" at the check out for a special 5% discount.
|Sep 26, 2021|
HOLLA HELLA COUGARTOWN! Chat w/ Patsy Menuti 1/2
The MADONNA WHORE DIARIES INTERVIEW SERIES #3
Why does heteronormativity dictate that the male partner should be the older person? Why does society barely even notice when Hollywood leading men, play opposite women 20 years their junior?
Why do we call the younger male partners of older female celebs, "Toy Boys".
And what about same sex relationships?
When it comes to casual liaisons between intelligent, consenting adults - how much does age really matter, and how much does it play into old fashioned patriarchal and 'ageist' stereotypes?
Let's face it, society not only paints older people as 'ugly', it also underestimates the self-awareness, discernment and agency of younger folx who really want to date them.
SO MUCH TO UNPACK and Patsy Menuti aka "HELLA COUGAR" helps me get through some of it! Patsy, 50, is a yoga teacher and life coach, who exhuberantly shares her "spiritual journey as a COUGAR" via her WEBSITE, TIKTOK and INSTAGRAM. She's warm, extremely down to earth and hella funny.
MORE LINKS MENTIONED:
Cindy Gallop Ted Talk about bedding younger men the affect porn has had on their sex education.
NIKKI DARLING Genderless Pleasure Toys - don't forget to use the code "ELOQUENT" at the check out for a special 5% discount.
|Sep 18, 2021|
(still) IN BED WITH MADONNAS 2/2
The Madonna Whore Diaries Continues...
Phoebe Dorin and I pick up where we left off last time...where was that? Oh yeah, we were just about to talk about ...breast orgasms.
There's much discussion about the objectification and 'ownership' aspect of breasts. Cos let's face it, they do get co-opted A LOT! The thing that seems to cause all the trouble and confusion regarding sexual enjoyment during pregnancy and after, has literally everything to do with women taking back ownership of their bodies.
Look, it's a very breast-heavy ep. Speaker to speaker BOOBS. If anyone is playing drinking games while listenting: DO NOT NOMINATE THE WORD 'NIPPLE' AS YOUR DRINKING PROMPT! You'll get hammered!
Suggested reading: Fresh Milk - The Secret Life of Breasts by Fiona Giles (2003)
And don't forget, as mentioned in the podcast I have started a partnership with NIKKI DARLING (Sexual Health and Pleasure retailer, so if you click on the link above, and use the code word ELOQUENT you receive 5% off). Check out my rapturous review of a fabulous stimulation devise - that has literally become this girl's best friend. Please consider joining my PATREON!
|Sep 04, 2021|
In Bed with Madonnas.(Sexuality & Motherhood)
THE MADONNA WHORE DIARIES - Conversation No. 2
This week we welcome back Phoebe ("I was raised in a cult") Dorin for a very different chat. We have a deep and intimate and very candid discussion about how pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding affected/enhanced our sexuality and sense of ourselves. Because of how society views mothers as either sex objects (MILFS), or angels walking the earth (nuturing and pure) - it's a fine line to tread, to reclaim your sense of (sexy) self, while adjusting to the very real and serious responsibilities of motherhood. And speaking of Breast Orgasms...As mentioned in the podcast I have started a partnership with NIKKI DARLING (Sexual Health and Pleasure retailer, so if you click on the link above, and use the code word ELOQUENT you receive 5% off. Check out my rapturous review of a fabulous stimulation devise - that has literally become this girl's best friend.
|Aug 30, 2021|
PART TWO of my Madonna/Whore chat with MEAGAN
THE MADONNA WHORE DIARIES PART 2
This episode picks up the conversation exactly where it left off - the topic was faking orgasm - which is obviously a whole other thing when you're talking about sex work! We then continue exploring how Meagan's sexuality evolved during the course of her career as a sex worker and how it has influenced her present and future plans. I also finish this episode pondering the topic of vulnerability and how this perceived 'weakness' is at the heart of the Madonna/Whore narrative.
Why is intimacy so scary? How close do we let ourselves get to the people we love and/or desire and how does this play out when squished into the vice like grip of society's expectations around the prescribed power balance in relationships. Why are sexually liberated women also seen as aggressive seductresses?
Oh, so many rabbit holes to explore in the coming weeks!
Click here to see the female anatomy diagram mentioned in this ep.
|Aug 16, 2021|
The Madonna/Whore Diaries: Meagan (1/2)
NEW SERIES: THE MADONNA/WHORE DIARIES
This series will feature three conversations with three diverse women - a sex worker, an expectant/nursing mum and a self-confessed 'cougar'. This interesting bunch struck me as the perfect cross section of stereotype templates reqiured to have a really good rummage around the length and depth of the annoyingly enduring Madonna Whore Complex! How does it play out in society - still; and does that affect women, internally.
You know, the good girl/bad girl bullshit, the moral double standards, the hypocritical taboos and the undeniably Freudian concepts. It's all bound to reveal itself when unapologetically sexually adventurous women shake off the yoke of respectability and get real about what feels good.
THIS EPISODE: Meagan has been a sex worker since her late teens and now - 15 years later - she's in hiatus. It's a great time to reflect on her sexual evolution - and how societal attitudes may have impacted it. Meagan recounts her journey - and its hights and lows - with total candour. Interestingly, now that she's in her early 30s, she's experiencing something of an erotic rennaissance. Having 'faked' countless orgasms, she's now opening herself up to the fullness of ecstatic pleasure. Part 2 of this interview comes out on Tuesday.
Join me on Patreon
|Aug 14, 2021|
BECOMING CLITERATE - interview with Dr Laurie Mintz
As promised, here I am with fabulous psychotherapist, sex therapist, lecturer and author, Dr Laurie Mintz about how she came to write the book "Becoming Cliterate" in 2017 and the powerful impact it has had on people's lives. We trade questions and stories and get down to some very nitty gritty aspects of female sexuality. It's a very fun and quite revealing chat! Check out the links mentioned:
AND DON'T FORGET THE FIRST FOUR EPISODES OF THE ELOQUENT IN THE ROOM "2020 AN ORGASMIC ODDITY" is entirely about 'what, how and why' of orgasm. And each of the show notes have more groovy links!
AND PLEASE CHECK OUT MY PATREON
|Jul 30, 2021|
I was raised in a CULT part 2 (INTERVIEW)
Interview with Phoebe Dorin PART 2!
As promised here's part two of this fabulously intimate discussion about religion, spirituality, sexuality, gender roles, sexual objectification....oh and yes, and how it dawned on Phoebe a couple of years ago, that she was raised in RELIGIOUS CULT.
It's hard to sum our interview up in a few words, but let's just say we GO THERE (and there and there and over there). Make sure you check out her podcasts, "Sexuality After..." and "My Messy Lessons". And do follow me on Instagram...It's fun. I've even been partying in my birthday suit this week.
|Jul 08, 2021|
"I was raised in a CULT but My Sexuality Freed me!" Part 1 (Interview)
Phoebe Dorin is a relationship and sexuality coach; a podcaster, and a couple of years ago, she fully realised that the strict religious family she grew up with was actually part of a CULT - which goes by several different names (which members are meant to keep a secret).
We swapped notes about how our vastly different childhoods shaped us – but it's fascinating how our similarly curious natures, lead us both away from becoming terminally sexually repressed!
We chatted for nearly three hours, I crammed the best bits into 2x1 Hour eps. We continually weave in and out of the hot topics of sex and spirituality. Organised religion and The Patriarchy, are virtually interchangeable when discussing the suppression of women generally, but when diverse women get together to talk, we discover we all possess an innate spirituality - which has a 'twin' connection to our primal, unfettered and unapologetic humanity.
Who knows, maybe mere mortals can be 'saved' after all - we just need to find the light within.
Part Two drops July 9.
Want to learn more about how to be a better Intersectional Feminist? (this means you too, guys) Follow Evelyn Nam here: @herspectivefeminism
|Jul 05, 2021|
Inside the Vent Tent with Ginny PART 2.
Welcome Back to the Vent Tent.
We vent, we rant, we groan and moan. And have a few laughs as well. In Part 2 we get to the meat and two veg of it all. Ginny shares some godawful encounters she's experienced on Instagram, being harrassed, and how it has affected her sense of personal freedom and autonomy on her Instagram page @mydisabledsexlife. We also touch on her history with her disabilities, and the medical gaslighting she's encountered. Along the way we both ponder the many ways in which society has become desensitised to what constitutes normal, average, civilised behaviour between sweaty, self-absorbed men and young women on social media. Here's a clue lads: stop sending dick pix. Stop expecting people to respond to your rude advances.
As they say in the UK, SOD OFF!
|Jun 17, 2021|
Inside the VENT TENT with GINNY part 1
Meet "Ginny" from @mydisabledsexlife on Instagram. She's a 25 year old, bi-queer, disabled ball of love, wisdom and humour from the UK. She has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS), Osteo-arthritis, Depression, Anxiety and is Chronically CUTE. I met her on Instagram shortly after she launched her page and I've watched her blossom over the past year. We've been wanting to chat for AGES and finally got together earlier this week when she was needing to have a very big VENT about the level of harrassment she deals with online. As it's PRIDE MONTH, we lead with that fact in this ep - as well learning about her journey to becoming an Insta Goddess. We also talk about our parallel journey towards embracing and embodying intersectional feminism. This chat made me confront my internalised ableism in a much more tangible way - both as an able bodied human and as a person who has mental health issues. If you're not already following her, then maybe you should! And follow all the accounts that Ginny mentions in the podcast! Stay tuned for Part 2 next FRIDAY!
|Jun 10, 2021|
REALITY TV & OTHER OXYMORONS
It's a Story from the Vault! #6
In 2012, I wrote an article about the tragic farce that is Reality TV. Little did I know just how much worse things would get. The most recent season of Married At First Sight was, by anyone's estimation, an abomination of gross negligence towards the people to whom they had promised a happily ever after. Where was the duty of care? Reality TV is toxic. I don't go into the sordid details about the actual scandals (for that stuff check out the So Dramatic Podcast).
I'm not here to share salacious gossip. Instead I'm here confess some details about my short stint as a tabloid journalist and to put shit on the giant pile of shit show that is all reality tv. It's crazy to witness what's happening now and compare it with that which was portrayed in the portentious film NETWORK 1976.
This article not only stands up all these years later - it's got me fired up all over again. Let's all get mad as hell!
This episode features MY NEW TUNE!
GOOD VALUE 'REALITY' PODCASTS:
John Safran's Race Relations is available on iTunes
NETWORK can be streamed in Australia on STAN
|May 10, 2021|
Consent and the ”Freeze” Response with Cheryl M Bradshaw
Adulting Consent...Part 7
Did you hear the one about the Australian Government's Consent Education Program? If only it was funny. Coincidentally this week I have a deep and far reaching conversation with Cheryl M Bradshaw - a Canadian author and psychotherapist who has written critically acclaimed books such as "Real Talk About Sex and Consent."
Distributing her book and screening her Youtube Seminars in schools could have saved the Australian Government a shitload of money. But where would the fun of all international ridicule be in that? It's going to be one of the great ironies of our time that this absolute debacle, masquerading as a Consent Education Program for teens could have sparked the most invigorating and productive debate on the topic yet. Not the least of which, I hasten to add, is contained in this THIS EPISODE!
and here's my SONG LINK!
|Apr 26, 2021|
"I DID REPORT; WE WENT TO COURT. THIS IS WHAT I LEARNED" (INTERVIEW)
INTERVIEW WITH GEMMA LUCY SMART
Eighteen months after experiencing sexual assault, Gemma Lucy Smart (University Lecturer) made the courageous decision to report it to police. The Police and the Department of Public Prosecutions then went to great lengths to question her repeatedly to ensure she was 100% convincned she wanted to 'put herself through the process'.
*Not because they didn't believe her.
*Not because she wasn't an extremely credible witness.
*But because these cases almost never result in a conviction.
Because the system is broken.
While this sad fact can dissuade many people from reporting dehumanising crimes that are committed against them, we must not let this fact keep us silent. Gemma is particularly well versed in law, so to have her meticulously unpack this experience, is compelling listening. She is now on a mission to change the legal prodedures around sexual assault. We'd be grateful if you would share this podcast with anybody and everybody, who might help her on that mission.
|Apr 13, 2021|
This week's podcast had to be rescheduled for April 13 and, as it's absolutely going to be the most important podcast interview I'll have recorded to date - it deserved a trailer!
(teeny soundbite included from this Channel Nine Interview)
|Mar 29, 2021|
Consent can be Child's Play!
(Adulting Consent P6)
Ok, so far in this series we've explored the concept of 'pleasure-forward' conversations around consent (Interview with "Wheel of Consent" founder, Betty Martin - Eps 11&12) AND we've had a titilating conversation with Wyoh Lee (eps 16/17/18) about communicating boundaries with lovers, within the framework of BDSM (which provides a surprisingly straightforward template for all consent discussions, even in vanilla sex) which is all well and good for those of us who are old enough to know better (but still young enough to enjoy a robust sex life) but what about our children? What are we teaching them about consent and boundaries?
Perhaps a better question to ask, is how would you, as a parent, like this topic to be raised to your children. Let me present Exhibit A - Comprehensive Consent. After listening to this interview with Sarah about her programs, and checking out her website, you might like to recommend this approach where YOUR children go to school. Or your grandchildren. It takes a global village to raise self-aware people!
|Mar 15, 2021|
ADULTING CREATIVITY....AND STUFF
(Adulting Consent part five and a half?)
CW: Contains references to child abuse.
If you listened to the previous episode, you'll be eagerly waiting for the other shoe to drop – cos that one was a bit of a cliff hanger.
Well, just a bit. A smidge, even.
This episode RECAPS the ADULTING CONSENT journey thus far, and previews the what lay ahead - while I also reveal a bit of candid INSIGHT into my heavily-flawed creative process and my deep, dark secret to how get/stay motivated. YOU CAN TOO! All in all it's a bit of a mixed bag of silliness and seriousness in equal measure. We even look at another snippet from that very weird and controversial early 1970s tome: The Little Red School Book.
|Mar 01, 2021|
Wyoh Part 3: Love, Connection and BDSM
Adulting Consent #5
NB: Since recording this interview on Jan 7, some disturbing (albeit predictable) revelations came to light about Marilyn Manson, to which he/they replied in a statement - 'the relationships were consensual'. The tacit implication here is that the people who have come forward were somehow complicit in the abuse they received - because they capitulated to his coercion, threats and mind games. The intention? To paint it as garden variety BDSM practice. I cannot say how proud and relieved I am, that this conversation about what BDSM actually looks like, is seeing the light of day now. Your feedback, as always is encouraged and welcomed.
During the course of this conversation we have shared individual experiences with intimacy and relationships, being descriptive and honest but also philosophical - discussing everything from sexual boredom in long term relationships to experiencing sex as a transcendent, spiritual experience (which we both had in common!). Oddly, the Bible also gets a brief mention.
Importantly though, we dug deeper into the emotional rewards Wyoh experiences from being a sub – and then we rounded it all out both expressing just how strongly our artistic creativity chimes in with our mutual intrigue, fascination, and celebration of our sexuality.
For Wyoh (and me) sex is truly it's own artform. And art is brain sex.
If that sentiment hits the spot for you too, you'll love this episode.
*See show notes for part one for book references and links.
Follow me on Instagram.
|Feb 15, 2021|
WYOH PART 2: "Love, Connection and BDSM"!
(ADULTING CONSENT #4)
In this second segment of my truly intimate and very revealing interview with "Sex Stories" podcast host: Wyoh Lee, we discover how Wyoh emerged from a relatively conservative upbringing to embrace the role of a dedicated, grateful, super orgasmic submissive in her late 28s. I've never considered myself to be 'conservative' in the least - I have my kinky moments, but through these conversations, I found that I have had to challenge myself to overcome certain preconceptions and cognitive biases about BDSM scene. In some ways, Wyoh and I could NOT be more different, but in the ways that matter most, we are absolutely two peas in a pod. Firstly, we both want to protect women!
And, we both want connection & ecstacy. We just get it in different ways.
NOTE: This DELIGHTFUL conversation does come with Content Warnings at the beginning. And reminders throughout that CONSENT awareness and knowledge around these practices are VITAL. So if you're considering diving into the colourful world of kink, you might want to have a quick listen to this ep first! *See first ep show notes for links and references.
|Feb 01, 2021|
Love, Connnection....and BDSM with Wyoh Lee (1/3)
(ADULTING CONSENT #3)
While the topic of BDSM was what brought Wyoh and I together for THIS interview, it's not the first time we have joined forces on the airwaves. We chatted at length on her Sex Stories Podcast last October – and that one was all about me and my sexy past. Well, now it's my turn to dig into her sexy present as a sub!
I wasn't sure where the topic of BDSM would be placed in the "Adulting Consent' series, having just discussed the inner voyage of 'permission to experience pleasure' with Betty Martin, is where we left off in Episodes 11&12). It seemed like a leap. But Wyoh and I started chatting on the day after the Insurrection, so we had to check in with each other about everything that's going on in the US at the moment, and THIS part of our conversation provided the bridge. We pondered intimacy and connection as well as eroticism and also polyamory and a nice little tangent about being one's own muse (on social media). In essence, this episode is all about 'giving ourselves permission' - not only to accept pleasure; to explore our sexuality without shame, but also giving permission to BE our flawed, multi-layered, goofy, geeky, sexy-as-fuck selves....in whatever way we want. Because it's for World Peace!
BOOK NAMES DROPPED THROUGHOUT THIS INTERVIEW:
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Come As You Are Emily Nagoski
The Ethical Slut – Dossie Easson
The Erotic Mind - Jack Morin
Sex and God - Darrel Ray
The Wheel of Consent - Betty Martin
...and everything Brene Brown has ever written or broadcast.
And worthy folks to follow:
|Jan 18, 2021|
Midday in the Terrarium of Good and Not Quite As Good
Time for a Soapbox Rant
Well. Guess who's got her knickers in a knot? (points to self)...THIS GUY!
There's no denying that 2020 was a shit show, and no one needs me to tell them that. We're all still angry, disillusioned, scared and confused by it all.
And now 2020 is over.
So, what did we learn? What did we teach? How did we behave?
For my first podcast of the new year I felt in need to vent. Sure, a lot of things happened, globally, that were out of our collective control. But what about the shit bits that we did have control over? Like, the way we reacted to the information we were being fed? How we conduct ourselves on social media - specifically Facebook? Why do we even still trust FB? This week I share some observations about my own tiny corner of the world, over this past year – and I'm fairly certain my online experiences were common. The U.S. election might be over, but the stench of all the bullshit is still polluting the air. Lest we forget!
Music: “Big Mouth” (2020) by Beugs (with permission of the artist.)
Links for the information sources mentioned in the podcast:
Sexplanations (the sex positive, fun, encyclopaedic version of sex ed we DESERVE)
Your Diagnonsense (The thinking person's shrink)
Some More News (Well-researched, meticulously-written bullshit dissection).
Behind the Bastards (calling out miscreants and charlatans throughout history)
Jameela Jamil (fuck the patriarchy)
Janaya The Future Khan (black lives matter)
Matthew Bernstein LGBTQIA Angel
|Jan 04, 2021|
On Vaginas, Friendship, The Universe and Everything.
Story from the Vault (with a twist) #4
Yes, life is still chaotic, so here's another personal story for the holidays! You may find this particular anecdote hard to believe. Looking back, I still find it hard to believe, myself.
Do you believe in fate?
Have you ever asked the universe for your heart's desire? You know...The Law of Attraction kinda stuff, hmm?
NO? Well, after listening to this crazy yarn, you might want to reconsider.
As I revealed in ep 13 “Good Will Hunter”, luck played a considerable part in bringing him into my life as a mentor – which resulted in me embarking on an unlikely career as a journalist. Well, an even more unlikely, extremely fortuitous adventure followed.
They say: “be careful what you wish for”. Well, I was. I was very specific when I made one particular wish.
And fuck me sideways, it came true!
NB: The word 'Vagina', is thrown around willy nilly in this ep...BUT, tbh I actually really mean VULVA (the external female genitalia). However, because the word vulva is not as pervasive within the vernacular and I'm also talking about VDay and The Vagina Monologues and a website called Vagina Vérité .
...I stuck with the word 'vagina' for consistency. But...I meant Vulva. OK? BTW, I also mention vegemite, but I honestly did mean to do that. I certainly did not mean to say Marmite. Just to be clear.
|Dec 21, 2020|
Good Will Hunter - (Story from the Vault #3)
It's Story Time Again, Folx!
**Content Warning: Contains spontaneous, raw emotion**
Because 2020 is still being unpredictable AF and because it's December already (like, WTF?) I have stuck a wee pin in the "Adulting Consent" series till after the holidays and I am gifting you with this story from my life, that I have retrieved from the ol' vault. Remember that time I dusted off previous articles about Kissing and Oral Sex (Episodes 5 and 6) and read them out loud with FEELING? Well this is kinda like that, but with a lot less saliva and a lot more vulnerability and anxiety.
This is the real deal. It's an act of baring my heart and soul to read you this warm and fuzzy TRUE STORY about how I even became a journalist in the first place, which even caught me off-guard. You'll laugh, you'll cry....you also might hurl, (but if you do, it's probably something you ate).
Follow me on INSTAGRAM. If for no other reason than I'm paying a 'reels' tribute to Kate Bush for a whole year. No, really.
|Dec 07, 2020|
Part II of Interview with Betty Martin (2/2)
Adulting Consent #2
We're baaaack. As promised, here's part II of my extremely informative, completely irreverent, yet totally compelling interview with Betty Martin, the author of The Art of Giving and Receiving: The Wheel of Consent. As mentioned previously, if you want to know more about the practices that Betty espouses, there are some great instructional videos at bettymartin.org
This is where you will find out more about the book and learn cool trust games FOR FREE, like 'The Three Minute Game' (Betty mentions this only briefly in the podcast cos we were too busy chatting about orgasmic ecstacy and vulnerability & stuff, but that doesn't stop you from checking it out). Before listening to part 2, be sure you listen to part one! Both parts have their distinctive components. In Part One, Betty discusses how she became a Sacred (sexual) Intimate. In Part 2, we unpack our humanity in the context of how touch can trigger intense emotions. We ask - what makes Sacred Sex so 'sacred'? You get to hear me unloading some of my 'stuff' onto my new BFF and she reassures me I'm totally human.
What stuff you wonder?
Have a listen and find out.
As a bonus, this podcast features (with the artist's permission) an original music track called "Your Skin Breathes Too" performed by Wandering Minstrel (feat DeepSea Lights). Make sure you also check the clip to this hypnotic track out on Youtube.
*Don't forget, The Eloquent in the Room has a cool spotify list too!
**Make sure you follow me on Instagram for more quirky and informative content!
***Betty makes brief mention of the book: "The Erotic Mind" by Jack Morin
|Nov 23, 2020|
Interview with BETTY MARTIN (1/2)
Part one of a New Series: 'ADULTING CONSENT'
Ok so I think I've got it worked out; we've been travelling backwards through time! Great Scott! If episode one was about orgasm, then that means it's finally time, to start talking about CONSENT! See what I did there? I made a grand statement to illustrate just how BACKWARDS people can be around consent. It was an analo...oh never mind. Let's just say it's such a nuanced topic, that I decided to start with the very basics:
By definition, consent is an agreement between people! Hmm, an agreement about what, exactly?
You're stumped already, right?
Well, an agreement on everything, of course! Betty Martin is an expert on the topic, having spent ten years writing a book called The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent. Her extensive training as professional pleasure facillitator (do check her incredibly impressive BIO) motivated her to dig deeper into human erotic desire, it's origins, fundamental impulses, barriers, blockages, boundaries and how it all connects us to triggering emotions. Given that raw sexuality has always been treated as a taboo for women, just as a need for tenderness and affection has always been seen as a weakness in men, it's little wonder we don't often understand the 'give and take' of the sexual pleasure exchange. (Not to mention 'receiving and allowing'!) You can see now why I thought this interview needed to be digested in two pieces.
Our conversation was so delicious, I wanted to delay gratification. Meanwhile, for more information how The Wheel of Consent works, there are free video lectures here which explain it all in fascinating detail. And do check out The Wheel of Consent on Instagram! Follow my Insta too, while you're at it!
Enjoying the podcast? Want to support a starving artist, while obtaining some top quality tee shirts? Get your Eloquent Merch here
|Nov 09, 2020|
WHAT'S IN A NAME? (Interview)
IXNAY ON THE INARY BAY part 4.
21 yrs ago, a musician named Quinn Carter was born in a female body. By the time they were 12 they could play over a dozen instruments - including some pretty awesome vocal chords. But they were also completely sure their body was the wrong fit.
By the time they were 16 they continued to hone their craft, learning from the industry’s best while simultaneously embarking on the confusing personal journey of authentic gender identification. Nowadays he embraces the pronouns he, him, his. And the name Lucas Alexander. He's a "Pre T" (testosterone) Transgender Man and LGBTQIA+ activist. He has also become a sought-after musical director; singer-songwriter; music teacher. Professionally he has kept his birth name as his stage name: Quinn Carter. I call him Luca.
He was a little nervous for this interview, but was SO willing to open up and totally candid and it was pure joy. This is the ideal story of what it's like growing up Trans - with a support network behind you 100%. This is where we should be at in 2020. We covered everything from gender confirmation surgery options to the giant Inflatable Dancing People that flap around out the front of car yards. We went that deep. Prepare to have your day made.
Click above link for Quinn's spotify. AND while you're at it Check the Eloquent in the Room Spotify List
music credit: “Closet House” Quinn Carter Music Copyright 2018 *with permission of the artist.
Check out The Eloquent in the Room merch! Proceeds help keep the podcast going! Help me, help you. :)
|Oct 26, 2020|
Call me Emme (Interview)
"IXNAY ON THE INARY-BAY Part 3
Hey guys, remember last time, we segued from Bisexuality into talking about Transgender - because my interviewee also identified as being Non Binary? This time it's my great privilege to speak to a wonderful 'mature-aged' trans woman by the name of 'Emme'. Her journey has been complicated, for various reasons... and because of those reasons, she is not 'out' to the world, 100% of the time. She still leads a dual existence, so we are especially fortunate that she has entrusted us with a glimpse into her world.
This chat actually opened my eyes just that little bit wider, regarding the patriarchy & how it fosters misogyny; particularly how it infects womxn with 'internalised misogyny'. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that JK Rowling is missing the point.
BUT if you do, please have a listen! When seen through the trans lens, certain home truths about the patriarchy are harder to avoid. The sisterhood is made even stronger, when no one is left behind. Compared to previous episodes this is one's a tad 'heavier' and could be triggering for some, but this is also a story seldom told and I feel extraordinarily privileged to share it with you and to honour this wonderful warrior spirit.
Credit Audio quote re: Tootsie
|Oct 12, 2020|
Putting the 'Bi' in Non-Binary (interview)
IXNAY ON THE INARY-BAY P2
This installment of the series is pretty much what it says on the tin - a fascinating chat about being bisexual - and being non-binary, with Melbourne based Artist, Performer and Harm Reduction worker: Jessie Ray
What makes this conversation extra intriguing is that Jessie first 'came out' , over a decade ago - as a LESBIAN. We explore their journey, not only in realising and coming to terms with their sexual orientation, but also how this process lead to a greater appreciation of the multitude of nuances within the ordinary, hackneyed concepts of 'masculine' and 'feminine'.
Remember way back in the first ep of the podcast, I said we'd throw the Female Sexuality rule book away? Well while we're at it, we're flinging 'The Gender Guide' away like it's covered in flaming poop.
NB: Confused about what it means to be Trans? Here's a handy guide to the TRANSGENDER Umbrella.
**LINKS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:
The Eloquent in the Room SPOTIFY LIST!
And a Link to Jessie's Celebrity Crush
|Sep 28, 2020|
MY SON IS BISEXUAL& SO AM I (interview)
New series! "IXNAY ON THE INARY-BAY"
Part 1: It's BI PRIDE WEEK!
What better way to drag the much-maligned and misunderstood topic of BISEXUALITY out of the closet than to have a totally spontaneous, candid discussion with my 22 year old son about being bisexual.
I also thought it would be a great way to break in my interviewing skills too!
Interestingly, even though we grew up almost four decades apart - and, he's a boy and I'm not (and I am his mum, and my parents died when I was in my 20s) our experiences had some surprising commonalities.
bi the way***
My take on the word bisexual - refers to all identities under the BISEXUAL UMBRELLA mentioned within this podcast I have embedded informative links to all sorts of resources relating to bisexual mental health and links to some heartbreaking and beautiful testimonials (including an amazing testimonial from Evan Rachel Wood). You will find them all in a concise little blog post HERE: WEBSITE and make sure you check my INSTAGRAM for more Bi Trivia.
Language: This discussion is blunt and to the point, so if you are remotely homophobic...steel yourself. It's for your own good. Also, I do use the phrase "identify as" a fair bit. It is not meant as any kind of 'qualifying' or dismissive term. Coming up in this series I have the privilege to interview a few wonderful trans and non-binary folks. What beautifully complex and interesting humans we all are!
Let's get busy deconstructing shit, shall we?
|Sep 14, 2020|
A Consumer's Guide to Oral Sex (Story from the Vault #2)
"A Slip of the Tongue" Part 2.
Last episode's "What's in a Kiss" was the perfect lip-locked air chamber between 2020 An Orgasmic Oddity. (eps 1-4)..and this rather 'out of left field' Master Class in the Art of Oral Sex. But, once the kissing started, it seemed only right to explore the many other delightful sensations that can be experienced in and around the mouth! Just for a bit of nostalgia, I've time-travelled yet again to retrieve an old story from the Vault. As explained in This Video on The Eloquent in the Room Youtube Channel, for the duration of the 1990s, I was a regular features contributor to AUSTRALIAN WOMEN'S FORUM MAGAZINE (1991-2001). It was known as "the one with the dicks" but the monthly centrefold was just the TIP of a very large female empowerment-berg. Keeping it mostly 100% intact, as written in 1999 (right down to the SEINFELD references) this popular exposé, originally entitled "A Consumer's Guide to Oral Sex" (published 1999) has found extra oomph podcast form, so enjoy these awesome 'giving head' tips, from my mouth...to your ears!
Just when you thought the Orgasmic Journey was over...there was a second coming!
MATURE CONTENT WARNING: This is a thorough tutorial with explicit language and some godawful 1990s Aussie Slang. The reading of the article, is preceded by a little fireside chat about CONSENT. It's only a few minutes long, so keep your mouth closed and listen!
IMPORTANT NOTE: Hygiene and safe sex tips are not given in detail during this podcast, so for that vital information, this episode of SEXPLANATIONS on Youtube is highly recommended viewing - as are the rest of the videos on her channel. Dr Doe is the bomb. Check out her guide to cunnilingus also. She uses an oven mitt and a vulva diagram by way of visual instruction. It's not quite as sensual as this podcast but it's definitely instructive. :)
|Aug 31, 2020|
What's in a Kiss? (Story from the Vault #1)
"A Slip of the Tongue" Part A?
This is the first part of a tantalising two-part adventure. First we have a behind-the-scenes debrief about the “2020 An Orgasmic Oddity” Journey. Even though it's not a direct continuation of series 1, somehow this episode still manages to pick up where the Oddity left off.. kind of. Through the much underrated yet sublime art of the kiss - we can't help but connect with the V Spot! Don't be surprised if you notice a gossimer spit bridge stretching from your lips to Episode 6, the other half of this twin pack: “A Slip of the Tongue Part B – A Consumer's Guide to Oral Sex" which drops on Sept 1. This one is soft and mushy, the next one will be wet and gushy. But both episodes go to great pains to emphasise the whole MUTUAL RESPECT dealie. Because...heckity heck, that's important too...right? Keep checking my Instagram for updates, groovy memes, the occasional video message and awesome curated content.
*Parts of this podcast previously appeared on my Blog "Inside Rose" (2011-17) - so it is the first in my "Story's from the Vault" Series.
Music Credits: Theme song Beugs
Kiss Quotes Underscore 'The Fair' by Livio Amato
|Aug 17, 2020|
2020 an Orgasmic Oddity Part 4
"Eternal Sunshine of the V-Spot Mind"
This 4th episode brings us to the indisputable universal Scientific facts about Female Orgasm - facts that are often glossed over or left out of usual discussion about female sexuality. Like - if women can have orgasms in their sleep, then clearly they should be able to have them without being touched when they are awake, right? (Clue: 'right')
Leave the vibrator in the nightstand - I'm focussing more on what's happening above the waist: hands free! Oh, and this is the one where I explicitly describes the time I had a 'labour-gasm' during childbirth. It's here I discovered vital clues about how to achieve 'hands free' orgasms henceforth. So, do you think everyone who makes a lot of noise is 'FAKING'? Think again. The secret to more thorough orgasmic expression is just a scream away.
|Aug 03, 2020|
2020 An Orgasmic Oddity. Part 3
"Close Encounters of the Furred Kind"
This third installment walks listeners through a vastly alternative version of the standard birds and bees talk. And by birds and bees, I mean, the baby making thingy. This not-so-awkward chat demystifies once and for all, female orgasm's pivotal role at conception!
Juxtaposing Desmond Morris' best seller, The Naked Ape (1967); with recent research revealed in Dr Catherine Blackledge's eye/mind-opening Book, Raising the Skirt (The Unsung Power of the Vagina) - we examine where science went astray and then finally restore balance! Oh and I also introduce you to your lesser-known primate cousins, the bonobos. These beautiful creatures co-exist in communities which promote peace, harmony and free love. That's right...bow chicka wow, baby! Embodying the phrase "make love, not war" the bonobos show us a different way to view evolution.
|Jul 20, 2020|
2020 An Orgasmic Oddity, Part 2
"The Planet of the Babes"
In this episode, we resume the Orgasm Conversation contemplating the concept of 'Authentic Sexuality'.
What would women's approach to their orgasmic entitlement be, if religion and oppression did not burden female sexuality with shame, ignorance and fear? How much more empowered (and orgasmic) would women feel, if we were never ever vilified or victimised merely for enjoying sex? How much has prudishness and double standards held women back from their true potential? What the heck is the deal with the remedial effort made thus far by medical and psychological research in helping people to understand how a woman's body is actually designed? What has any of this got to do with certain iconic SCI-FI films of the 60s and 90s?
YOU'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT!
|Jul 04, 2020|
2020 An Orgasmic Oddity Part 1
FEMALE ORGASM...THE FINAL FRONTIER?
Well, hi there. I'm Rose and welcome to The Pilot Episode. Firstly there's a quick prologue, before giving a rundown on what this debut series is all about - and then I take you on a journey like no other.
Basically, this is part Orgasm Workshop, part Forensic Investigation & part Geeky Sci-Fi Convention! I'm here to bust myths & expose short-sighted preconceptions around (cis) Female Sexuality & Orgasm.
It's 2020 - and many women are still feeling orgasmically disenfranchised. What the actual..? How is it, that research into orgasm continually regurgitates the same statistics and 'facts' and nothing ever changes. Well - I figured it was about time to kick science's arse and take names...while presenting some other stats and an entirely fresh viewpoint regarding the primal nature of sexuality. Sometimes the best way to level the playing field, is to THROW THE OLD RULE BOOK AWAY. Pretty much everything we've been made to believe is a mirage. Because...well. You know why.
|May 26, 2020|